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Edited at https://subtitletools.com

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You want it.   Yeah.

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Why can't you get better for me?

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We had so much and
it's all fucked up forever.

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I'm so lonely.

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I know.

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Do you remember when you

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rode with me in the ambulance
after I tried to kill myself?

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Of course.

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That's what love feels like.

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What are you doing?

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Lovely Sid
and lovely Michelle are fucking.

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We're not... Not in the
way you're thinking.

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CONFUSED SCREAMING

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Effy?

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Effy!

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Effy!

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What's wrong?

19
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It keeps happening.

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OK. Lie down.

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Do you mind?

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No.

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I like this story, anyway.

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Thanks.

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"Orpheus was the greatest
poet who ever lived.

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"His music was so beautiful
that when he played
rivers would stop flowing,

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"winds would stop blowing,

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"and the skies would open up

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"so his wondrous melodies could
be heard by the Gods in heaven.

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"One day, his wife Eurydice
was bitten to death by vipers.

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"Overcome with grief,

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"Orpheus played
heartbreaking songs on his lyre.

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"The Gods were moved,

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"and so advised Orpheus
to travel to the land of the dead

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"and sing his songs to Hades
to bargain for his wife.

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"So it was
that Hades' heart was softened.

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"And he allowed Eurydices
to leave on one condition -

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"that Orpheus would walk in
front and never look back."

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Hey! Here he is!

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Looking good, mate.

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Cheers. I feel quite good.

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Oi. No pushing in. >

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Oh, fuck off, you Scouse twat. >

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Eh. What's going on here, then?

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Eh. What's going on here, then?
Ah you know, man...
The winds of change.

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The rivers of blood and all that.

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The rivers of blood and all that.
Shit getting wild, man.
Him and her, Sid and Michelle...

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THUD!

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THUD!
Ow! Easy, man.

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Yeah. Where is Sid?

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He came early...with Michelle.

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THUD!

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THUD!
Ow!

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FAST DANCE MUSIC PLAYING

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CHEERING AND WHISTLING

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All right?

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It's loud.

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You all right?

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What do you mean?

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You look a bit...

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I'm fine.

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Loudest club in the west, mate.
You gonna be all right?

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Yeah. I'll be fine.

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Hey, Tony...

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Hey, Cass. Are we going somewhere?

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Oh, yes...

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You sure you're ready for this?

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I'm totally ready.

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Ah. Isn't that sweet?

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I'm sad about them. >

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Aren't you?

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I'm fine and dandy.

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Good. We're just fine and dandy...

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Come on.
You can buy me a drink.

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I think that since Sid and Michelle
are together, we should do the same.

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What, go out?

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Yeah!

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Get dressed up?
Go on a date?

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Yeah!

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And we'd talk and eat dim sum,

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and I'd take you home...

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And I'd walk you upstairs...

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But I'd knock my head on the door
frame and fall down.

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I'd get the witch hazel.

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I'd get the witch hazel.
And I'd say, "Witch hazel?

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"What are you, 90?
Get some fucking painkillers."

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And I'd say, "Hey, it's
an excellent astringent,

88
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"and we're out of aspirin."

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I'd turn the argument
into a good, hard, angry fuck.

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Well, that's where we might
have a problem.

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What do you mean?

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I've got a bit of a problem in
the downstairs department.

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What?

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You know, downstairs.

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What?! Where?!

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Oh, for fuck's sake!

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My cock doesn't work!

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What?

99
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What?
My cock doesn't work!

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Hi... He's watching us.

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We can't help it, Sid.

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No.

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It's OK, isn't it?

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Isn't it?

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It's fine. We're fine.

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Fine.

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I'm fine...

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I'm fine...
And dandy...

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Whoa! Here it comes...

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Oh, I've missed this.
Fucking hell, I've missed this...

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I feel good!

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Yes, but take it easy, Tony.

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I feel so fucking good!

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What about our date?

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Yeah!

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You all right?

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I'm balalaika, feathered up,
and ready to rock da party!

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Ye-e-a-a-ah, b-o-y--y-y!

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Ye-a-a-aah, b-o-y-y-y-y!

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Yeeeahh, b-o-y-y-y?

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Yeah!

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Dude. I can't believe you're going
out with Michelle.

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It just kind of happened.

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But you're...you know.

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But you're...you know.
What?

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Well, you're not exactly...

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Not exactly what, exactly?

128
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Not exactly, you know.

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A player, a don,
an R Kelly, a baby daddy...

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All right. I get it.

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A smooth criminal,
a president of the USA,

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a buddha buddha buddha
cheese buddha.

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a buddha buddha buddha
cheese buddha.
OK.

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Hey, Sid.

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Tony...
You having a good evening?

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I'm just marvellous, Sidney.

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Like hell on Earth in here.
Glorious. Yourself?

138
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Er, yeah, yeah, I'm all right.

139
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Excellent!
Vibrant! Superb!

140
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So glad to hear it!

141
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Tony, are you OK?

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I'm top-notch, buddy.

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Enjoying your night out?

144
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Me too.

145
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Oh... >

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Hey, Nips.

147
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Don't call her Nips, Tony.

148
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Don't call her Nips, Tony.
Why, what you gonna do?

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I'm, uh, objecting.

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Strongly.

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Come on...

152
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Come on...
Tony, what are you doing?

153
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Isn't she pretty, hey man?
Hey? Hey? Hey?

154
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Tony.

155
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,200
Tony.
You two make such a sweet couple!

156
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,880
Out of all the world's famous
lovers - Anthony and Cleopatra...

157
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Listen.

158
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Listen.
Taylor and Burton,
Jordan and Peter...

159
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Stop it.

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Bert and Ernie...
I would say that you two are

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quite possibly the greatest snog
history has so far encountered.

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quite possibly the greatest snog
history has so far encountered.
What is wrong with you, Tony?

163
00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:24,960
Are you OK?

164
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,680
Are you OK?
What is it with you people
and the concept of OK?

165
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I mean, we're a fucking threesome,
aren't we? You know...peas in a pod.

166
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A fucking family, that's what we are.

167
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Do you need to sit down?

168
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Do you need to sit down?
No!

169
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Just calm down.

170
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Just calm down.
No... I need to...
I don't... I've got...

171
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I need to go...

172
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Out of my way! >

173
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:53,520
(RETCHES)

174
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,160
What?

175
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:17,160
It sounds like you're
having a panic attack.

176
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I can't breathe, I can't...

177
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wanna fuck your sister.

178
00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:24,280
What?

179
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:29,040
No! Jesus!

180
00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,720
It's just people say panic
attacks come from some deeply

181
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:35,720
repressed sexual urges. You know?

182
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:36,400
What?

183
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:45,840
Actually, I'm talking shit,
cos it turns out a panic attack's

184
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just a fuckload of adrenaline
mainlining into your heart.

185
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:52,040
It's just how we deal with danger.

186
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Fight or flight, they call it.
Right?

187
00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:56,560
I don't know you.

188
00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:59,000
Are you a fighter or a
flighter, Tony Stonem?

189
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Huh?

190
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,680
Cos depending on your answer...

191
00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:03,960
well...

192
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:07,960
A lot depends on your answer.

193
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I'll see you around.

194
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195
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:55,240


196
00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:02,360


197
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:07,360


198
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:12,080

you take me where

199
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:16,080


200
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:35,400
(DOORBELL RINGS)

201
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:46,200
Hi, Effy. How are you?

202
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:50,200
I'm fine.
How are you?

203
00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,080
Good.

204
00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:56,080
Is Tony here?
We need to speak to him.

205
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,560
Tea? Coffee, anyone?

206
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:13,600
Is... well, thanks.

207
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:14,520
Is, well, I'm fine.

208
00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:15,560
Tony?

209
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:19,560
No, thank you.

210
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:24,360
You OK, Tony?
You seem a little under...

211
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,360
well, under the bed.

212
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,800
I'm fine.

213
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,280
Tony, come out.

214
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,560
I'd prefer not to.

215
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:35,920
Listen.
I think we need to talk about this.

216
00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:38,040
I really don't know what you mean.

217
00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:40,120
Well, me and Sid are together now.

218
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,640
Yeah.
I know.

219
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:45,600
And you're obviously not OK with it.

220
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:47,440
Who says I'm not?

221
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:50,480
Well, er, you did, pretty much.
Last night.

222
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:53,000
Oh, come on.
I was only taking the piss.

223
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:57,000
You know...
cos it's funny?

224
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,560
Listen, do you mind?
I've got an interview.

225
00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:01,440
Got to get ready.

226
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:05,440
All right.
Oh, OK. See you later, Tone.

227
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:15,040
Bye, Tony.

228
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:20,600
Bye.

229
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:32,320
Fuck!

230
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:42,200
Take this.
It's stuff. Maps and shit.

231
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,960
OK.

232
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:48,960
You look really good, Tony.
Like you're ready for anything.

233
00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:53,520
Thanks. See you later.

234
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,920
I'm gonna tell you a story.

235
00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:53,240
A bloke,

236
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,360
he wakes up one morning.

237
00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:57,840
He gets dressed.
He goes down the stairs.

238
00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,840
He makes himself a
little bit of breakfast.

239
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,160
He walks to the garage,
he gets in his car.

240
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:06,600
He starts his car. Drives off,
I don't know, a couple of miles.

241
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,840
Stops. Gets out his car.

242
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:12,840
Has a couple of blokes pour
petrol over his head and...

243
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:16,560
Sets fire to himself.

244
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,080
He... What?

245
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:22,080
He sets fire to himself.
Fucking boom!

246
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:30,080
What's in the bag?

247
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:31,880
My sandwiches.

248
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:35,880
So what we got?

249
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:39,600
Ham and cheese, chicken,
or egg and cress.

250
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,800
Egg and cress...

251
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:46,800
Isn't life wonderful?

252
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,760
You looking?

253
00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:03,680
I don't... what?

254
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:07,680
Few scars, few marks...

255
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:11,720
What do you think of them?

256
00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:13,040
I think they're horrible.

257
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:17,040
I think they're horrible.
At least I got 'em, mate.
Cos I fucking wear 'em.

258
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:18,160
Right...

259
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,960
How about you? >

260
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,080
Do you... have any marks? >

261
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:23,240
No. I'm fine.

262
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,760
Oh, yeah, course you are...>

263
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:29,760
You're fine and dandy.

264
00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:34,120
Right?

265
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:42,880
Egg and cress...

266
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:47,280
It's a little fucking miracle.

267
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:03,200

that it's insane?

268
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:06,680

Cape Cod

269
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:10,480


270
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:13,040


271
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:15,840


272
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:17,080


273
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:21,080

out of Cape Cod tonight?

274
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:40,080
18 years old. The age of opportunity.

275
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:43,200
I bet you can't wait to come here!

276
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:46,280
Imagine it... being able to
live away from your parents and

277
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:50,280
you can do anything you like, like
stay up all night and eat ice cream!

278
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:54,360
Derek.

279
00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:56,440
Thanks, Polly.
So.

280
00:18:56,440 --> 00:19:00,440
New home, new friends, new horizons.

281
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,000
The good times, the bad times...

282
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,200
The parties...
oh, my God, the parties!

283
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:09,160
The loves that will never be,
even though they seem so right.

284
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:13,160
Just remember though,
that if you will drink -

285
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:17,200
and personally
I have a bitter lemon...

286
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:22,440
But if you do, just don't over-do it,
or you won't be able to get up

287
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:26,640
in the morning for your lectures!

288
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:30,640
So, any more questions
before group sessions?

289
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:35,200
Are you two shagging or what? >

290
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,800
No, we're not.

291
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:45,800
I adore Derek to bits.
But he's more like a brother.

292
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,760
But you'll make friends
like that here too.

293
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,360
Friends who appreciate
that you never,

294
00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:54,640
never, never want that to happen.

295
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:57,600
So...
No.

296
00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:01,600
We're certainly not doing that.

297
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:05,080
No. We're not... We're...

298
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:08,400
truly not.

299
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:12,400
Any more questions before...
Thank you.

300
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:13,960
You know, if you don't
work together, then you'll...

301
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,320
You're late.

302
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:21,440
Sorry... I couldn't find the room.

303
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:23,760
And yet everybody else
seems to have managed,

304
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:27,320
which I find kind of spooky,
really.

305
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,360
Sorry.

306
00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:34,360
Please...

307
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:38,240
So. Whilst you were
meandering around the corridors,

308
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,720
we were introducing ourselves.

309
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,960
Martin, you were telling us
what you did on your gap year?

310
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:47,600
Yeah... As I was saying, I spent
most of my time in Central America.

311
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:51,600
You know, building bridges of
the real, and the symbolic variety.

312
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,600
You know, just really
teaching the people

313
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,160
out there the value of teamwork.

314
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,440
So 6,000 years of tribal society,

315
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:03,160
they still hadn't managed to grasp
the rudiments of teamwork.

316
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:07,160
Sloppy. They must have been
delighted that you showed up.

317
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,080
You next.

318
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:16,360
Me?

319
00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:20,280
Yes, yes, you. Enlighten us. Do.

320
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:23,080
Um, OK.

321
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,040
I'm Tony Stonem.

322
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,400
I go to college...
I live in...

323
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,400
I actually said enlighten us,
don't bore us, Mr Stonem.

324
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:34,400
Speak about yourself, about your
motives, your drive, your animus.

325
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:36,960
I...

326
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:40,160
I...
Don't know what
animus means, do you?

327
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:41,440
Yes. I know what it means.

328
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,400
Yes. I know what it means.
Well, I'm relieved.

329
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,520
You see because at this university,

330
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:49,520
we don't have room
for the inarticulate.

331
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,280
I think I'd better go, then.

332
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:55,280
Bye.

333
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,440
Good.
So Tony, you were about to tell us

334
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,920
just how extremely clever you are.

335
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:05,200
I'm not that clever.

336
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,600
Oh, he's clever all right.

337
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:09,840
Really?

338
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:11,520
Touching.

339
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:13,840
Sadly lacking in substance.

340
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:17,840
At our university you have to have
verve, a sense of charisma -

341
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,640
intellectual thrust.

342
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:24,200
And that's what we're here to do
this afternoon, is find out whether

343
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:25,520
you're a giver.

344
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:26,160
Whether you're...

345
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,600
Willing to sleep with the lecturers?

346
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:30,480
I'm sorry?

347
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:33,200
I'm sorry?
I was just making the point, sir,

348
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:36,080
that you've been screwing every
girl in here with your eyes since

349
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:40,080
we arrived, which suggests that
sex ranks higher than substance.

350
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:42,920
And I'll pass, thanks.

351
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:46,920
You see, I don't really find
intellectual thrust that sexy...

352
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,680
Or fake tan, for that matter.

353
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:53,640
Oh, you think that's funny, do you?

354
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,480
It's possibly funny...

355
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:56,520
Possibly funny.

356
00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:58,200
Right well, the thing is,
I don't actually have to put up...

357
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:02,200
OK. Cool.
See you!

358
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:06,720
I think you should join her.

359
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:10,720
Don't you, Tony?

360
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:19,200
Toodle-oo.

361
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:26,200
You.

362
00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:38,440
You really fucked up in there.

363
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:42,200
I   really fucked up? Wait,
what are you even doing here, anyway?

364
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:46,200
Same thing you are.

365
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:59,480
Wow! Check it out.

366
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:03,280
Ah... Shall we?

367
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,960
No. No way. First of all,

368
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:08,680
I can't really swim very well
any more and secondly...

369
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,320
Ahh, boo-hoo.

370
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:14,320
(LAUGHS)

371
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:16,120
What the fuck?!

372
00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:18,080
I told you, I can't...

373
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:21,680
I can't... Can't swim...

374
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:25,680
Oh, you're such a pussy.

375
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:28,840
I can't.

376
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:31,920
You just don't want to. Lie back.

377
00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:35,040
That's it.

378
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:37,080
You're OK.

379
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:40,280
It's easy.

380
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:41,800
Just float.

381
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,960

the song had gone

382
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:48,960

I hardly knew

383
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:53,600


384
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:58,600

engulfed us all

385
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:03,040


386
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:07,000

it's changed with you...

387
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:13,960
Come here, please.

388
00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:22,360
Come on... Bit naughty.

389
00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:26,360
Never mind. Up you come.

390
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,360
Tony - is that right?

391
00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:39,280
Yes.

392
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:42,880
Now, Tony, the thing is, we're not
really supposed to go in the pool.

393
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,120
It's really only
for sporting events.

394
00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:47,080
And the Super Irony Fun Splash Club.

395
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:50,280
And the Super Irony
Fun Splash Club, too.

396
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,040
You're supposed to be on the tour.

397
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:54,640
There was this girl, but she's gone.

398
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:56,840
Don't go with her, Tony.

399
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:57,920
What?

400
00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:59,640
You should join us.

401
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:01,280
What?

402
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:04,800
Yes. We'll find you
somewhere you can dry off.

403
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:08,120
You should get out of
those wet clothes, too.

404
00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:11,960
I'd really like to see
you out of those clothes.

405
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:15,960
I'll lend you my cagoule.

406
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,280
I'm all right, thanks. Just...

407
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:22,280
I'm all right.

408
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:25,840
Built in 1972, then
demolished the following year

409
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:29,840
before being rebuilt in '85,
the Bulwer-Lytton building
is a classic example

410
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,880
of the late modernist,
post-Bauhaus development

411
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:37,440
from humanist rationalist
impulses from utility.

412
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:41,440
Inspired by Alvar Aalto's signature
style, the building is built...

413
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,240
Psst!

414
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:45,600
In here. Come in here.

415
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:49,600
..Social interaction and the hyper
relevance of volume as, er...

416
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,040
I want to talk to you.

417
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:02,040
Come here, then.

418
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,440
What are you doing?

419
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:09,040
The idea is to walk across the room.

420
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:11,440
The room's full of shit.

421
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:13,080
This is a lab.

422
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:16,120
It's an experiment.

423
00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:17,640
Come here.

424
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:20,080
ELECTRICITY BUZZES

425
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:23,160
For fuck's sake.

426
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,240
BREAKING GLASS

427
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:29,240
Fuck.

428
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,840
Oh, shit!

429
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:33,200
(SHE LAUGHS)

430
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,920
(SHE LAUGHS)
Ow.

431
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:37,680
ALARM SOUNDS

432
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:41,680
Bollocks.

433
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:45,080
Well done.

434
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:49,080
Well done?

435
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:52,160
You got here, though.

436
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:54,800
What do you want from me?

437
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,720
Hey! Who's in there? Over here! >

438
00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:58,760
Better run.

439
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:02,640
Hey! Stop! Come back here, you!

440
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,880
Oi! They're going down
the science block.

441
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:09,880
Come back!

442
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:25,640
Halls of residence.

443
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:29,640
Shall we?

444
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:37,440
(SNIFFS)

445
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:41,440
Ah-hah.

446
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:47,480
Good afternoon.

447
00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:48,880
How may I help you?

448
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:52,880
We're seeking shelter
from the fascist oppressors.

449
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:57,000
And we're wet.

450
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:01,360
Can I interest you in some hashish?

451
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:03,000
I'm not really supposed to.

452
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,360
Drugs do odd things
to me at the moment.

453
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:07,840
Aren't they supposed to?

454
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:09,680
This is Matt.

455
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:11,200
You want a hit from the bong?

456
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:14,400
He is an artist. Truly, an artist.

457
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:21,520
And this is of the purest,
highest possible grade.

458
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:24,240
I assure you.

459
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:25,760
Cool! >

460
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:28,560
(LAUGHS) >

461
00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:30,920
Bravo!

462
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:36,200
KNOCK AT DOOR

463
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,560
Polly! My little chaffinch.
How the devil are you?

464
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:43,560
I'm going to pretend that
I don't smell that, Toby.

465
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:46,440
Smell what, mon petit chou?

466
00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:49,760
It's very, very naughty
what you're doing, Toby.

467
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:51,160
Quite possibly.

468
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:53,800
Anyway. Have you seen a...

469
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:55,640
wet boy running around here?

470
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,280
He's lost.
And he's truly in a lot of trouble.

471
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:02,280
We have witnessed no moist children

472
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:06,640
of the masculine variety
gallivanting within these halls, no.

473
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:09,480
Oh, hey, Poll. How's it going?

474
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:10,720
Oh... Hi, Matt.

475
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:12,960
You, er,
you thought about what I asked you?

476
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:14,160
Yes, actually, I have...

477
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,320
And?

478
00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:20,320
All right, you can shag me.
But only once.

479
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:22,400
You're lucky Bruce is in Guatemala.

480
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:26,400
Fine. I'll be around later.

481
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:41,120
Can't allow our friends
to be naked alone, Matthew.

482
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:43,000
It's just not cricket.

483
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:07,200
They're beautiful.

484
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:08,800
Oh, thanks.

485
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:11,040
I do them myself.

486
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:12,160
Do you?

487
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:13,680
Yeah.

488
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:17,040
So you could do me...now?

489
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:21,040
Sure, if you're up for it.

490
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:33,040
BUZZING

491
00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:39,920
Does it hurt?

492
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:43,920
Beautifully.

493
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:46,280
What are you getting?

494
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:50,280
A mark... Passion...

495
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:56,200
Want...

496
00:32:56,200 --> 00:33:00,200
Need...

497
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:09,280
My, my.

498
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:10,440
Thank you.

499
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:14,440
My...

500
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:19,840
My pleasure.

501
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:25,960
Come and look at it. >

502
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:29,120
What's it like?

503
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:31,160
Good.

504
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:32,960
Touch it. >

505
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:33,840
What?

506
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:37,840
Touch it. >

507
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:43,400
(GASPS)

508
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:44,840
I can't do this.

509
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:48,400
So many things you can't do.

510
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:52,200
You can't swim, you can't run...

511
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,680
You can't fuck.

512
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:56,560
Oh, dear.

513
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:59,320
How d'you know that?

514
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,880
But you can, Tony Stonem.

515
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:05,000
You can fuck me right now.

516
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:06,160
No, I couldn't.

517
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:07,200
You want to.

518
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,160
Hey, fuck you!

519
00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:10,640
I got hit by a fucking bus.
That fucks you up.

520
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,960
Well, fuck you right back.

521
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:14,880
You're just not trying hard enough.

522
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:17,360
You must be so
happy the way you are.

523
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,880
Why do you care if my dick can get
hard or not?

524
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:22,120
This is fucked up beyond words.

525
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:24,120
Coward. Fucking coward.

526
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:25,200
Coward.

527
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:26,360
Wanker.

528
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:30,360
Why don't you just stop being such
a fucking pussy and let the fuck go?

529
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:38,400
Fucking leave me alone!

530
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,160
There you are.

531
00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:59,480
Are you OK?

532
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,320
Look at you, you poor thing. >

533
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:06,280
Come with us. We'll get you some
warm clothes and a nice hot tea.

534
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:10,160
The Musical Society are going to
do a performance for all of you.

535
00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:11,960
HMS Pinafore.

536
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:14,440

I've tea and I've coffee >

537
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:17,720


538
00:35:17,720 --> 00:35:21,400

Poor Little Buttercup

539
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:24,360


540
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:27,000
Come back!
There'll be cheese and wine. >

541
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,160
It'll be fun! >

542
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:32,160
There's always cheese and wine! >

543
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:45,760
Take a seat.

544
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:51,960
Eventful day.

545
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:55,960
Pissing around in pools, smashing
up labs, avoiding activities,

546
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:58,960
getting up to no good in the dorms.

547
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:00,000
How'd you know what I..?

548
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:01,680
And now you turn up

549
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:05,680
for an interview like, well...

550
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:10,600
You know, I'm amazed you
actually even bothered, really.

551
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:14,280
But I'm a fair man,

552
00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:16,720
so bearing all that in mind,

553
00:36:16,720 --> 00:36:18,920
why don't you

554
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:22,920
try to convince me into offering
you a place at this university?

555
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:32,880
Oh, you think you're
so original, don't you?

556
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:34,680
I have met a million kids like you.

557
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:38,320
Yeah, vaguely intelligent.
Agonisingly middle-class.

558
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:42,320
Read a book by Camus, a book by
Kafka. No real substance, though.

559
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:45,720
Just a little
fucked-up jumble of misdirected,

560
00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:49,720
immature, poly-sexuality
and pure, arrogant, impotent rage.

561
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,400
So...

562
00:36:57,400 --> 00:37:01,400
What you got, big boy?

563
00:37:02,240 --> 00:37:03,840
Get off me.

564
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:07,320
You don't know a fucking thing
about me, you sanctimonious cunt.

565
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:10,760
But since we're playing the guessing
game, let's make a few assumptions.

566
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:13,680
A divorced, lonely,
middle-aged lecturer,

567
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:15,880
who lives alone
and gets his rocks off...

568
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:16,920
You are really
fucking blowing this...

569
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:20,880
Gets his fucking rocks off trying
to sleep with fucking first years.

570
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:24,600
Other hobbies include intimidation
and furtive masturbation.

571
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:27,480
I bet you thought you'd died
and gone to heaven when you got here.

572
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:30,320
Your own office
and all the students you could eat.

573
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:31,320
Let go of me now.

574
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:34,120
Let go of me now.
Animus.

575
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:37,480
It means spirit, courage,

576
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:41,480
passion, wrath.

577
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:45,760
This is mine.

578
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:52,040
Who the fucking hell
do you think you are?

579
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:54,040
I'm a bad dream, mate.

580
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:57,520
I'm you before you shrivelled
and died.

581
00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:01,520
And I don't wanna go
where you've been. >

582
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:05,640
So in answer
to your earlier question,

583
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:08,080
you should've given me a place here.

584
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:12,080
I'd have been the best
student you'd ever had.

585
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:18,200

it's the place I should be

586
00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:25,960

and no-one saying nothing at all...

587
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:34,320
Here he comes. Welcome back, Tony.

588
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:40,360
Congratulations, Tony.
Good work, sir.

589
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:41,520
Enjoy.

590
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:43,600
The pleasure is all yours, sir.

591
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:47,600
The pleasure is all yours.

592
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:27,640
(PANTS)

593
00:40:49,720 --> 00:40:53,120
You're not coming?

594
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:56,840
I think I'll stay
here for a while.

595
00:40:56,840 --> 00:41:00,840
It's peaceful.

596
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:06,120
Go home.

597
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:11,920
It was good to meet you.

598
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:21,440
Thank you.

599
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:31,880

Sad and Beautiful World

600
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:38,080


601
00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:52,120

like the last

602
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:06,520


603
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:20,360


604
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:29,280
APPLAUSE

605
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:31,160
Hey, Tone.

606
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:33,400
Where are Sid and Michelle?

607
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:35,760
No idea.

608
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:37,280
You're a terrible liar, Jal.

609
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:41,280
Anybody can see you've
got something going on.

610
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:49,880
Shit!

611
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:51,920
What the fuck?!

612
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:53,240
Tony!

613
00:42:53,240 --> 00:42:54,480
What the fuck are you..?

614
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:55,520
Shut up!

615
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:56,680
Sid, are you gonna let him?

616
00:42:56,680 --> 00:42:58,080
Tony, I'm objecting to...

617
00:42:58,080 --> 00:42:59,840
You're always
fucking objecting!

618
00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:00,960
Can't you do something?

619
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:04,960
OK. OK, Jesus.

620
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:08,840
Tony, what?

621
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:12,840
Are you trying to scare me,
because it's not working?

622
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,160
I love you.

623
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:20,160
I'm saying it again. OK?

624
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:23,240
And you.

625
00:43:23,240 --> 00:43:27,240
I love you too, you little fucker.

626
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:35,400
This is wrong.
Can't you see it's all wrong?

627
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:38,080
You're my girlfriend!

628
00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:40,040
And you're my best friend.

629
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:41,200
Tony, I love her.

630
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:41,840
No, you don't.

631
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:44,040
OK, maybe I don't.

632
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:45,680
He loves Cassie.

633
00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:49,680
And you love me.
That works.

634
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:50,880
We work.

635
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:53,480
Why now?   It's too late.

636
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:55,280
It's always been there, Michelle.

637
00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:57,680
It just took a while.

638
00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:01,680
I need you.

639
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:05,760
You can't have her.

640
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:09,400
It's wrong.

641
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:11,960
It's wrong.

642
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:15,960
That's all I'm trying to say.

643
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:54,840
Everything's going
to be all right, Cass.

644
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:58,840


645
00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:02,960


646
00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:07,280


647
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:09,960


648
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:13,520


649
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:17,520


650
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:22,120


651
00:45:22,240 --> 00:45:26,240


652
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:31,440


653
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:35,680


654
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:38,080


655
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:41,440


656
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:45,120


657
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:49,120


658
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:53,520


659
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:57,520


660
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:00,200


661
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:04,200


662
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:12,320


663
00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:18,160


664
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:24,400


665
00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:53,800
Effy, 100% success.

666
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:56,120
My art coursework.
It's on the subject of emotion

667
00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:59,200
and you seem quite emotional.
So you can do it for me.

668
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:00,640
'I'm Pandora. I'm new.'

669
00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:03,000
Tell him I've discovered
the power of the pussy.

670
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:05,080
(SCREAMS)

671
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:05,720
And?

672
00:47:05,720 --> 00:47:08,240
I'll sort out your
fucking soap opera.

673
00:47:08,240 --> 00:47:12,240
And that, ladies, is why
Monet was shit.

674
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:21,920
Subtitles by
Red Bee Media Ltd