1 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,525 Assistant Professor Thurber, 2 00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:34,128 First, on behalf of the tenure committee 3 00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:35,196 And Grey College, 4 00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,597 I would like to thank you 5 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:38,266 For your services these past three years. 6 00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:39,867 Thank you, Dean Leakey. 7 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:42,836 12 years teaching college. 8 00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:46,507 Up for tenure again... A job for life. 9 00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:50,178 Before this, there was Bowdoin and Union. 10 00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:52,146 This may be my last chance. 11 00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:54,748 Friggin' Grey College. 12 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:57,651 Motherfuckin' Grey College. 13 00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:07,261 Hi. Hi. 14 00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:10,364 Dude! Where you been? 15 00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:13,401 Sorry. 16 00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:16,370 I'm almost up. I know. 17 00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:18,439 What do you think? Maybe... lose the shades? 18 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,808 My Oakleys? No way, man. 19 00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,376 Okay. 20 00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:23,811 Nervous? 21 00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,779 What do I have to be nervous about? 22 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:29,217 It's only my entire academic career on the line. 23 00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:31,852 Of course I'm nervous, jack-off. 24 00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:34,222 Steve Kim's been in there two hours. 25 00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:35,689 Really? 26 00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:37,958 Okay, just remember what I told you, all right? 27 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,293 Not the end of the world 28 00:02:39,327 --> 00:02:40,828 If you don't get this. 29 00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:42,463 Yeah, well, if you don't get tenure 30 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:43,931 At Grey College... 31 00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:47,635 All right, good-bye. 32 00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:51,939 Steve. Steve. 33 00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:55,909 Shake it off, okay? 34 00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:59,247 Whew. I got a good feeling about this. 35 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,748 You're a great teacher. 36 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:01,949 Professor Hadley? 37 00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:04,452 The tenure committee is waiting. 38 00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:05,919 Great teacher. 39 00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:11,292 Hi, everyone. 40 00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,728 Oh, hey, guys. 41 00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:16,330 Where's Dr. Hadley? 42 00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:17,665 You just missed him. 43 00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:25,839 We made cookies and everything. 44 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,441 Oh, that's nice. 45 00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:30,244 May I? 46 00:03:30,278 --> 00:03:33,381 Oh, yeah. 47 00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:39,387 So, that's Bigfoot? 48 00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:43,257 How can I just get one vote? 49 00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,994 One vote out of 12. 50 00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:48,629 That's a joke. 51 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,533 I wonder who voted for you. 52 00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:59,907 I mean, I really thought I had a chance. Didn't you? 53 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:02,376 I thought you were a lock. 54 00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:04,378 What has Steve Kim ever done 55 00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:06,013 For the anthropological community? 56 00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:07,748 Steve Kim... come on. 57 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,717 I mean, I produced evidence 58 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,652 Of a genuine Sasquatch. 59 00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:24,332 There! Look. 60 00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:27,401 Right there. Yeah. 61 00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:28,769 You come over here and tell me 62 00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,704 That that is not the hind leg 63 00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,906 Of an Appalachian Sasquatch. Seriously. 64 00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:36,410 I just don't see anything, Jay. 65 00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:37,745 I'm sorry. 66 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,046 What?! 67 00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,614 It's right here, man! 68 00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:42,950 That looks like a tree. 69 00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:44,952 It's not a fuckin' tree, Charlie! 70 00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:47,054 Come on! It's Bigfoot! 71 00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:49,089 I saw him. 72 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,291 I was there. 73 00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:54,595 I'm the guy runnin' the camera. 74 00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,898 It's right here. 75 00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:01,535 Sasquatch weather, man. Look for tracks. 76 00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:02,770 Where are we going? 77 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,071 Relax, man. 78 00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:05,906 It's my party, remember? 79 00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:08,108 I just thought it was gonna more of an indoor thing. 80 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,677 Dude. 81 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,379 Roll with it, okay? Sorry. 82 00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:13,481 I just got dealt a hammer blow to the nuts. 83 00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,416 I know, I know. 84 00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:17,385 Besides, it's not like you got anybody 85 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:18,786 Waiting up for you. 86 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,320 Why did you have to say that? 87 00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,694 Just tell me where we're going, Jay. 88 00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,729 Dean Leakey's. Why? 89 00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,401 Come on! 90 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,114 It is with great pride 91 00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:50,451 That I look back on the last three years at Grey College. 92 00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:53,153 I strongly believe that I deserve tenure, 93 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,922 And through this personal statement, 94 00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,657 I hope the committee will get to know me 95 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,792 A little better... My accomplishments, 96 00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:01,862 My dreams, and my myriad contributions 97 00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:05,499 To the academic community at Grey College. 98 00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:06,834 Huh? 99 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,136 "Myriad contributions"? 100 00:06:15,443 --> 00:06:18,612 Okay, we're gonna start a new novel this week. 101 00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:20,147 It's called The Magus, 102 00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:23,484 By an English writer named John Fowles. 103 00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:25,486 Anybody heard of The Magus? 104 00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:29,990 No? Well, some people... Smart people... 105 00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:32,526 Think it's one of the best novels ever written. 106 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,562 Then how come we've never heard of it? 107 00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:36,530 I... I don't know, Robin, 108 00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:39,433 But if you all would like to read the same books 109 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,201 That every other college kid in America is reading, 110 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,936 We can do that. 111 00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:45,005 Let's see, uh... Catcher in the Rye. 112 00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:47,508 Yeah, let's examine why "Fuck you" is written 113 00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,843 Is written on the bathroom wall... again. 114 00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:51,812 No, look, I pick the books I read 115 00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:53,647 Back when I was like you... 116 00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,449 Misguided, morose... 117 00:06:55,483 --> 00:06:57,585 You're still morose. 118 00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:59,920 Anyhow, The Magus. 119 00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,722 You all might not have heard of it, 120 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,557 But it changed my life. 121 00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:05,192 It has a little bit of everything. 122 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:07,127 It has love, 123 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,463 And exotic locales. 124 00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,031 It even has a little bit of sex. 125 00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:13,767 Ooh, Stan's gonna like it. 126 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,202 Shut up, Ben. 127 00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:16,804 Yeah, Ben, take it easy, okay? 128 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,608 Excuse me. That's Professor Hadley. 129 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,444 Dude, we hit the wrong pad. 130 00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:27,447 Excuse me. 131 00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,951 I'm in the middle of a class here, dude. 132 00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:33,186 What do you mean, we hit the wrong pad? 133 00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,822 I guess our recon was off. 134 00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:36,189 Our recon? 135 00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:37,825 All right, mine. 136 00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,560 I just feel bad. 137 00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:40,894 Dean Leakey's next-door neighbor 138 00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:42,563 Never did anything to us. 139 00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,498 Dean Leakey's next-door neighbor? 140 00:07:44,532 --> 00:07:46,233 Yeah, man. He's in a wheelchair. 141 00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:47,768 Jesus, Jay! 142 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,937 Yeah. Veteran. 143 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,772 Hero. Purple Heart. 144 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,641 I gotta talk to you later. 145 00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:55,108 All right. 146 00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,521 Professor Thurber? 147 00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:09,823 Hey, Stan. What's up? 148 00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:11,959 We need a new faculty adviser 149 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,894 For the poetry club. 150 00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:15,663 I'm president. Wow. 151 00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:18,231 Well, what happened to the old adviser? 152 00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:19,266 He died. 153 00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:23,036 Oh, yeah... Dr. Churchill. Sorry, I... 154 00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:25,272 Wasn't that last year, though? 155 00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:27,274 We never got a new one. 156 00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:29,109 Well, Stan... 157 00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:31,078 Look, I gotta be honest with you. 158 00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,647 I've never been a huge poetry guy. 159 00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:37,017 So, I think the best thing to do 160 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,786 Would be for me to take a pass on it, 161 00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:41,254 Just in fairness to you and to the club. 162 00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:42,790 Okay? 163 00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:44,257 Thank you. 164 00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,660 Thanks, man. Okay. 165 00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:14,121 Son of a bitch. 166 00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,189 Fuckin' kids. 167 00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,773 Charlie, it's Margaret. 168 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:34,842 Remember me... your sister? 169 00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:36,376 Dad told me that he hasn't seen you 170 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,245 In almost two weeks. 171 00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:39,913 The reason we put him in that facility 172 00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:41,715 Was because it was close to you. 173 00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,784 I'm not gonna bring up the whole money thing, Charlie, 174 00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,853 But you said this was the only way that you could contribute. 175 00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:48,121 You promised you'd visit him at least once a week. 176 00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:49,723 So do it, Charlie! 177 00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:51,759 Oh, and I almost forgot the best part. 178 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,627 I got a call from a lady over there 179 00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,395 Who claims that Dad's been making prank phone calls 180 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,731 To PBS telethons or something. 181 00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:59,967 She said he's lonely and he just wants to talk, 182 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,369 So... I don't know. It's nothing weird. 183 00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:05,138 I mean, yes, it is. It is fucking weird. 184 00:10:05,172 --> 00:10:06,974 But it's not perverted, thank God. 185 00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:08,709 So you need to talk to him about that. 186 00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:10,310 God, do you have a cell phone yet? 187 00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:49,850 Hey, Dad? 188 00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:52,419 Dad, you in there? 189 00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:53,954 Dad? 190 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:56,656 Dad? 191 00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:05,232 Dad! Huh? 192 00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:06,700 Huh? 193 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,705 This place is chock full of widows. 194 00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:13,373 Like Sue in there. 195 00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,142 She's Canadian. 196 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,778 Did you ever make love to a native French speaker? 197 00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,279 Dad, can we please talk about something else? 198 00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,148 Sure we can. 199 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,784 Sure we can... Whatever you want. 200 00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:28,088 I so treasure these monthly visits, Charlie. 201 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:31,424 Well, Margaret called, and... 202 00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:33,961 She said you didn't sound so good. 203 00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:35,796 Well, how do you feel? 204 00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:37,364 I feel fine. Okay. 205 00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:40,834 Fine as I can feel in this goddamn place. 206 00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,169 It's not so bad. 207 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:45,105 Oh, what the hell do you know about anything? 208 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,174 When I was your age, 209 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,176 I was a tenured professor of English 210 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,044 At Princeton University. 211 00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:52,746 Really? I didn't know that. 212 00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:55,315 Don't get smart with me. 213 00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:58,385 You should be further along. 214 00:11:59,787 --> 00:12:01,889 So... what about tenure? 215 00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:03,891 Come on, Dad. We've been through this. 216 00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:05,859 I'm on the fast track at Grey, 217 00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:08,028 And I find out in May, so... 218 00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:11,498 Well, you were on the fast track at Bowdoin, too. 219 00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:12,966 It's gonna happen. 220 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,968 Christ, I'd hate to see the slow track. 221 00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:16,736 It's gonna happen. 222 00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:44,865 Let's take some ecstasy. 223 00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,235 What? 224 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,337 Let's take some ecstasy. 225 00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,439 I bought it off this kid in my Anthro 101. 226 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:54,007 Jay, that is idiotic. 227 00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:55,775 You could get fired for that. 228 00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:58,946 That's just rude, man. 229 00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:01,815 You know what I meant. 230 00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:03,817 Come on. I heard about this cool student party 231 00:13:03,851 --> 00:13:04,651 Way off campus. 232 00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:06,987 You're still a member of the faculty. 233 00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:08,588 And so am I. 234 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,390 Dude, just drop me off, then. 235 00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:11,524 I don't have a car. 236 00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:12,826 I'm sorry, man. 237 00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:14,461 I've got to work on my article 238 00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,263 And my personal statement. 239 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,031 That's cool. 240 00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,101 I'll just hang here. 241 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:24,437 With you. 242 00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:27,174 No, don't. I mean it. 243 00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:28,575 I don't think you should... 244 00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:29,943 Mmm. 245 00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:32,880 Jesus. 246 00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:36,149 You sure this is it? 247 00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:37,617 Yeah, they said it was in the backyard, 248 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,219 In the woods and shit. 249 00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,188 Outside? I don't even have my jacket. 250 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:43,590 I'm not cold at all. 251 00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:46,459 Fuck, I think it's starting to work. 252 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:47,995 Touch my face. No. 253 00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:49,930 It's unbelievable. Touch my face. 254 00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,231 Come on. 255 00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,000 Whew! Take it easy. 256 00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:54,167 Come on, touch it. 257 00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:00,974 Professor Thurber? 258 00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:03,343 Hey, Robin, how you doing? Good. 259 00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,012 Oh, my God. What are you doing here? 260 00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:07,514 Nothin'. Just kind of checking in. 261 00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:11,018 I'm gonna head to the woods. 262 00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:17,157 Shouldn't you be at home, doing your reading? 263 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,658 It's Friday. 264 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,627 Right, sorry. Excuse me. 265 00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:23,163 Besides, I already finished The Magus. 266 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,933 Wow, that was quick. So, what'd you think? 267 00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:28,668 Uh... it had a lot of sex in it. 268 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:31,604 Really? Did you... You thought that? 269 00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:33,907 I mean, it's not all sex. 270 00:14:33,941 --> 00:14:35,542 I think that there are, you know, 271 00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:37,444 Larger themes at work. 272 00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,646 I really like your class. Thank you, Robin. 273 00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:42,215 It's, like, the best class I have at Grey. 274 00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:43,683 It's a great group of kids. 275 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,019 Except Ben. 276 00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:49,156 Do you think I'm fat? 277 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,025 Of course not. 278 00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,626 Why... Why would you say that? 279 00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,628 This guy... 280 00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,697 This asshole... 281 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,232 Look, Robin... 282 00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:00,567 Heh. 283 00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:04,537 You're a very... 284 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,573 Attractive girl. 285 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:08,008 All right? 286 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:10,477 So don't let anybody tell you otherwise. 287 00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:11,644 Okay? 288 00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,481 Do you have a girlfriend? 289 00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:17,717 Um, no. Not right now. 290 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,953 Don't you get lonely? 291 00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:22,489 I... Yeah, sure I do. 292 00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:24,024 I mean, just like everybody... 293 00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:25,358 So do I. Yeah. 294 00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,128 Well... 295 00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:30,497 I should go find Professor Hadley. 296 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,032 But it was great talking to you. 297 00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:33,967 And, uh, I'll see you Monday. 298 00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:36,369 Hi, Stan. How you doing? 299 00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:37,704 Can you drive me home? 300 00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:39,939 Nope, gotta go. 301 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,510 Jay! 302 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:45,245 Jay! 303 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,946 Come on, man! 304 00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,717 Up here, man. 305 00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:52,285 Jay? 306 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,455 Up here, man! 307 00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:03,430 Come on up, man. It's unreal. 308 00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:12,572 I've spent days up in trees... 309 00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,107 Waiting for Bigfoot. 310 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:17,310 That's great, Jay. 311 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:19,012 Should we head home now? 312 00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:20,780 What do you think? 313 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:23,016 It's about the passion, you know? 314 00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:25,318 Yes. Passion. 315 00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:28,788 You think Steve Kim ever spent four days in a tree? 316 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,723 Probably not, no. 317 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:32,792 And he got tenure. 318 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,794 Yeah, it's, uh... 319 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,429 It's messed up. 320 00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:38,231 Passion isn't enough anymore. 321 00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:40,067 That's what's messed up. 322 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,235 It's not about the classroom. 323 00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:44,037 It's not about the kids. 324 00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:46,306 What do you think my chances are? 325 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,675 For tenure? Yeah. 326 00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:52,612 Dude, you're running unopposed. 327 00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:55,615 I haven't published anything in over a year. 328 00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,817 Can we focus on my shit-storm here? 329 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,686 Yeah. Sorry. 330 00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:03,090 I'm 42 years old. 331 00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:05,225 I'm sitting in a tree. 332 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,328 You seem so sober now. 333 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:11,531 What happened to "touch my face"? 334 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:16,203 I'm pretty sure it was just dyed aspirin. 335 00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:18,638 Placebo, man. 336 00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:21,274 I'll tell you one thing... 337 00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:25,145 That shit-stack just flunked Anthro 101. 338 00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:27,147 Guarantee it. 339 00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:44,731 Mr. Thurber, may I have a word? 340 00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:46,566 Professor Slocumb, how are you? 341 00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:49,402 Myself and the rest of the female faculty 342 00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:51,104 Would very much appreciate it 343 00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:53,606 If you would please lift the toilet seat 344 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,709 When you urinate in the faculty restroom. 345 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,378 What are you talking about? 346 00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,679 I always do. 347 00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,348 So, are you telling me 348 00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:04,117 That the puddle of urine I just sat in 349 00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:05,652 Was not yours? 350 00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,654 Yeah. I mean, no. It, uh... 351 00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:10,190 It wasn't mine. It wasn't my urine. 352 00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:12,225 I watched you leave the bathroom. 353 00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:14,327 I swear, I put the seat up. 354 00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:16,129 Maybe... 355 00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:17,630 Maybe when I flushed it, 356 00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:19,266 You know, maybe it sprayed up. 357 00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:22,135 No, no. It was urine. 358 00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:24,237 And it looked to me like you aimed directly 359 00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:25,705 At the toilet seat... 360 00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:28,808 And just pissed... Willy-nilly... 361 00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:30,177 Without a care in the world. 362 00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:34,214 I don't piss willy-nilly, all right? 363 00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:36,149 I'm fairly accurate, 364 00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:37,550 And I always put the seat up. 365 00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:39,852 Don't let it happen again, Thurber. 366 00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:43,690 Hey. I didn't do it. 367 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,796 Way to go, fire hose. 368 00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:02,242 A pledge of $50 is all we're asking for. 369 00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:04,244 Show us your support 370 00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:06,879 And call the number on your screen. 371 00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:19,959 Thank you for contributing to public television. 372 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,229 Hello? 373 00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:24,564 Hello? 374 00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:25,965 Uh, hi. 375 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,235 Hi. Are you interested in contributing 376 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:29,469 To public television? 377 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,704 Not really, no. 378 00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:34,541 Well, sir, this is a pledge drive. 379 00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:36,309 What are you wearing? 380 00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:40,480 I'm sorry, sir. Please don't call again 381 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,949 Unless you want to contribute to public television. 382 00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:46,219 I'm sorry. It's just, uh... 383 00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:48,355 My father, uh... 384 00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:50,657 He's been calling telethons 385 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,459 And just talking to people, 386 00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:53,993 Complete strangers. 387 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,696 And I, uh... 388 00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:59,599 Just wanted to see what that was like. 389 00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:01,701 That's really weird. 390 00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:02,869 Yeah. 391 00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:06,873 What's your name? 392 00:20:09,742 --> 00:20:11,511 Beth. 393 00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:32,399 Jesus. 394 00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:35,902 Oh, Charlie. Welcome. Come in. 395 00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:37,404 Oh, thank you. 396 00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:39,539 Just, uh, put your coat in there. 397 00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,586 Uh, what's Steve Kim doing here? 398 00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:55,355 He's Anthropology. 399 00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:56,689 What's... 400 00:20:58,057 --> 00:20:59,692 - Hi. - Hey, Charlie. 401 00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:01,361 Oh, Charlie? 402 00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:02,762 If you have to use the bathroom tonight, 403 00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:04,664 Would you please remember to lift the seat? 404 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:11,270 What if I gotta take a shit, though? 405 00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:22,749 Congratulations on a wonderful beginning 406 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,016 To the spring semester. 407 00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:25,685 Hear, hear. Hear, hear. 408 00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:27,920 No, no, keep those glasses raised. 409 00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:30,557 Before we go into spring break, 410 00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:33,426 I want to share with you all a little secret 411 00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:35,862 That Professor Slocumb and I have been keeping from you. 412 00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:37,564 We have decided 413 00:21:37,597 --> 00:21:40,099 To hire another tenure track assistant professor 414 00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:42,402 In the English Department. 415 00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:43,870 Her name is Elaine Grasso. 416 00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:45,972 She comes to us directly from Yale University, 417 00:21:46,005 --> 00:21:48,808 Where she received her Ph.D. in English Literature, 418 00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:50,977 And has been teaching for three years. 419 00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:52,512 Oh, fuck. 420 00:21:52,545 --> 00:21:55,348 Believe me, we are very lucky to get her. 421 00:21:55,382 --> 00:21:59,786 I hope you will all welcome her with open arms... 422 00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:01,421 And open minds. 423 00:22:01,454 --> 00:22:03,856 Now, enjoy the evening 424 00:22:03,890 --> 00:22:05,592 And enjoy your spring break. 425 00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:06,626 Cheers. 426 00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:08,461 Hear, hear. 427 00:22:08,495 --> 00:22:09,762 Oh! 428 00:22:09,796 --> 00:22:12,599 Charlie! This is an antique! 429 00:22:12,632 --> 00:22:14,066 Sorry, excuse me. 430 00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:15,935 I'm sorry. 431 00:22:17,537 --> 00:22:19,606 Yeah, now it's coming out. 432 00:22:30,517 --> 00:22:32,118 Hello? 433 00:22:32,151 --> 00:22:34,421 Stan. Hey. 434 00:22:34,454 --> 00:22:35,822 It's Professor Thurber. 435 00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:37,457 Professor Thurber? 436 00:22:37,490 --> 00:22:38,725 Sorry to be calling so late. 437 00:22:38,758 --> 00:22:40,427 I was asleep. 438 00:22:40,460 --> 00:22:41,928 I've actually given some more thought 439 00:22:41,961 --> 00:22:43,963 To what we talked about, and, uh... 440 00:22:43,996 --> 00:22:46,132 I'd love to new faculty adviser 441 00:22:46,165 --> 00:22:47,634 To the poetry club. 442 00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:49,636 You're too late. Professor Grasso... 443 00:22:49,669 --> 00:22:51,471 The new professor... She's gonna do it. 444 00:22:51,504 --> 00:22:53,473 Really? Professor Grasso? 445 00:22:53,506 --> 00:22:54,874 She's really nice. 446 00:22:54,907 --> 00:22:56,976 I mean, she hasn't even started yet. 447 00:22:57,009 --> 00:22:59,479 She's very attractive and seems very smart. 448 00:22:59,512 --> 00:23:00,947 Stan... I think she's from Yale. 449 00:23:00,980 --> 00:23:03,182 What do you say we start a new poetry club... 450 00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:05,051 An alternate poetry club? 451 00:23:05,084 --> 00:23:07,053 Anything you want, man. 452 00:23:07,086 --> 00:23:08,921 That sounds like it could be fun. 453 00:23:08,955 --> 00:23:11,491 Great. Great. 454 00:23:11,524 --> 00:23:13,893 Can you meet in my office in the morning? 455 00:23:13,926 --> 00:23:15,695 Yeah. Okay. 456 00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:17,530 Good-bye. 457 00:23:20,567 --> 00:23:23,503 You said it could be anything I wanted. 458 00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:25,805 Yeah. But, Stan... erotic poetry? 459 00:23:25,838 --> 00:23:29,108 I guess I just never had you pegged for it, you know? 460 00:23:29,141 --> 00:23:31,544 Just how erotic are we talking here? 461 00:23:31,578 --> 00:23:33,446 Pretty erotic. 462 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,449 Graphic descriptions and whatnot? 463 00:23:36,483 --> 00:23:39,185 I can give you an example. 464 00:23:39,218 --> 00:23:42,221 Okay. Shoot. 465 00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:45,892 This one's called Stroker Poker. 466 00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:48,027 Stroker Poker. 467 00:23:49,896 --> 00:23:52,465 "Cock. Balls. 468 00:23:52,499 --> 00:23:54,100 "My stroke machine 469 00:23:54,133 --> 00:23:58,671 "Roars down the lustful highway. 470 00:23:58,705 --> 00:24:01,207 "Cock. Balls. 471 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,543 "Stroke lust. 472 00:24:03,576 --> 00:24:06,913 "My fuck machine's engines are roaring. 473 00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:08,948 "They're soaring. 474 00:24:08,981 --> 00:24:10,650 Stan. Stan! "Stroking..." 475 00:24:10,683 --> 00:24:11,851 "Stroke..." 476 00:24:11,884 --> 00:24:14,721 Professor Thurber. Yeah, hi. 477 00:24:14,754 --> 00:24:16,589 I'm sorry to interrupt. 478 00:24:16,623 --> 00:24:17,790 I wanted to introduce you 479 00:24:17,824 --> 00:24:19,959 To Professor Elaine Grasso. 480 00:24:19,992 --> 00:24:21,761 Oh. 481 00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:22,962 Hi there. 482 00:24:22,995 --> 00:24:24,664 Hi. 483 00:24:24,697 --> 00:24:26,599 Really nice to meet you. 484 00:24:26,633 --> 00:24:29,101 I hear you're gonna be starting up soon. 485 00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:31,137 Yes, yes. I'm very excited. 486 00:24:31,170 --> 00:24:33,540 I've heard a lot of wonderful things about you. 487 00:24:33,573 --> 00:24:36,609 Oh, likewise. Likewise. 488 00:24:36,643 --> 00:24:39,646 I, uh... I was just helping Stanley here 489 00:24:39,679 --> 00:24:41,648 With the new poetry club we've started up. 490 00:24:41,681 --> 00:24:43,616 Fascinating stuff. 491 00:24:43,650 --> 00:24:45,618 I'm the, uh, faculty adviser. 492 00:24:45,652 --> 00:24:47,954 Well, that sounded... 493 00:24:47,987 --> 00:24:51,223 Very creative, Stan. 494 00:24:51,257 --> 00:24:53,526 I forgot that you guys knew each other already. 495 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:54,927 Well, I met with Stan 496 00:24:54,961 --> 00:24:56,262 And some of the other students 497 00:24:56,295 --> 00:24:59,832 For a little pre-semester poetry club get-to-know-you. 498 00:24:59,866 --> 00:25:03,102 I mean... the other poetry club. 499 00:25:03,135 --> 00:25:05,538 Wow. Oh, that's fantastic. 500 00:25:05,572 --> 00:25:06,939 Pre-semester, huh? 501 00:25:06,973 --> 00:25:08,541 Huh, that's swell. 502 00:25:08,575 --> 00:25:10,810 That's great preparation on your part. 503 00:25:10,843 --> 00:25:12,278 Oh. Well, thank you. 504 00:25:12,311 --> 00:25:14,113 Gosh, it was nice to meet you. 505 00:25:14,146 --> 00:25:15,314 I should get back to work. 506 00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:17,083 I guess I'll be seeing you around? 507 00:25:17,116 --> 00:25:18,818 I look forward to it. 508 00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:20,653 Um... bye, Stan. 509 00:25:20,687 --> 00:25:22,054 Good-bye. 510 00:25:22,088 --> 00:25:23,923 Thanks for stopping by. 511 00:25:25,892 --> 00:25:28,595 "My cock is locked and loaded!" Hold. 512 00:25:28,628 --> 00:25:30,529 Okay, just give me a minute. 513 00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:34,834 It's nice of you guys 514 00:25:34,867 --> 00:25:36,969 To include me on your spring break. 515 00:25:37,003 --> 00:25:40,039 Hey, man, I heard about Elaine Grasso. 516 00:25:40,072 --> 00:25:42,341 Who's Elaine Grasso? 517 00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:45,311 Nobody. Just a girl. 518 00:25:45,344 --> 00:25:48,180 A new assistant professor in the English Department. 519 00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:49,782 They just hired from Yale. 520 00:25:49,816 --> 00:25:51,183 A looker, too. 521 00:25:51,217 --> 00:25:53,285 - Tenure track? - Uh-huh. 522 00:25:53,319 --> 00:25:56,022 Well, that's just dandy, isn't it, Charlie? 523 00:25:58,991 --> 00:26:01,961 Dude... that's your sister? 524 00:26:05,632 --> 00:26:06,999 Come on, time's up. 525 00:26:07,033 --> 00:26:08,835 We're not playing timed turns. 526 00:26:08,868 --> 00:26:10,970 The hell we're not. Put 'em down. 527 00:26:12,271 --> 00:26:13,372 "Chug"? 528 00:26:16,909 --> 00:26:18,711 For Christ's sake, Charlie, you're an English professor. 529 00:26:18,745 --> 00:26:21,681 That's a word. Maybe if I'd had more time... 530 00:26:21,714 --> 00:26:23,082 "Chug" won't get you tenure. 531 00:26:23,115 --> 00:26:26,152 I'll bet that new girl... 532 00:26:26,185 --> 00:26:27,787 The Yaley... 533 00:26:27,820 --> 00:26:29,288 Grasso. Professor Grasso. 534 00:26:29,321 --> 00:26:31,057 Right. Grasso. 535 00:26:31,090 --> 00:26:35,194 I'll bet you she knows some two-syllable words. 536 00:26:35,227 --> 00:26:37,630 "Quixotic"? 537 00:26:37,664 --> 00:26:39,231 Dude, that's, like, 1,000 points. 538 00:26:39,265 --> 00:26:40,967 Damn right, Sasquatch. 539 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:42,769 And they say I have Alzheimer's. 540 00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:02,855 Where's he going? 541 00:27:02,889 --> 00:27:04,891 Who the fuck knows? 542 00:27:06,225 --> 00:27:08,194 He's pretty cute. Jay?! 543 00:27:08,227 --> 00:27:09,729 Yeah, man? 544 00:27:09,762 --> 00:27:12,398 No. Sorry. 545 00:27:12,431 --> 00:27:14,133 I wasn't talking to you. 546 00:27:14,166 --> 00:27:15,401 It's okay. 547 00:27:15,434 --> 00:27:17,236 That's cool. 548 00:27:24,376 --> 00:27:26,779 Ah! 549 00:27:32,318 --> 00:27:33,886 We need to talk. 550 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:35,688 About what? 551 00:27:35,722 --> 00:27:37,790 What do you think? About Dad. 552 00:27:39,258 --> 00:27:40,693 More specifically... 553 00:27:40,727 --> 00:27:42,829 About how much money his care is costing me. 554 00:27:42,862 --> 00:27:44,764 Oh, God. 555 00:27:44,797 --> 00:27:46,933 It's not right. You're not even visiting him regularly. 556 00:27:46,966 --> 00:27:48,735 I visit him. I've missed once or twice. 557 00:27:48,768 --> 00:27:49,435 It's no biggie. 558 00:27:49,468 --> 00:27:51,738 Yes, it is. It is a biggie. 559 00:27:51,771 --> 00:27:54,073 He needs to be able to count on us. He's sick. 560 00:27:54,106 --> 00:27:56,809 He's fine! He just won at Scrabble. 561 00:27:56,843 --> 00:27:59,111 Okay, well, I need a budget. 562 00:27:59,145 --> 00:28:01,480 And it wouldn't kill you to spend $1,000 a month. 563 00:28:01,513 --> 00:28:03,983 And more, when you get your tenure. 564 00:28:05,284 --> 00:28:07,453 Somebody get my video camera! 565 00:28:07,486 --> 00:28:08,988 Huh? 566 00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:15,895 Hello? 567 00:28:15,928 --> 00:28:18,330 Beth? Yeah? Who's this? 568 00:28:18,364 --> 00:28:20,366 Hi, it's Charlie, from the telethon. 569 00:28:20,399 --> 00:28:22,735 You gave me your number, remember? 570 00:28:22,769 --> 00:28:25,471 Um... why are you calling? 571 00:28:25,504 --> 00:28:28,908 Well, you said that I could call after pledge week. 572 00:28:28,941 --> 00:28:31,043 I just wanted to talk. 573 00:28:31,077 --> 00:28:33,813 It's 2am, Charlie. 574 00:28:33,846 --> 00:28:36,315 I'm sorry. I just... I thought... 575 00:28:36,348 --> 00:28:38,818 This is really weird. 576 00:28:38,851 --> 00:28:40,787 Please don't call me anymore. 577 00:28:40,820 --> 00:28:42,955 Okay. Um... 578 00:28:42,989 --> 00:28:44,924 I am sorry. 579 00:28:44,957 --> 00:28:46,826 Whatever. Good night. 580 00:29:05,244 --> 00:29:07,880 Yeah! All right! 581 00:29:07,914 --> 00:29:09,949 At least Steve Kim was... 582 00:29:09,982 --> 00:29:12,151 A pretty run-of-the-mill Korean guy. 583 00:29:12,184 --> 00:29:13,820 I mean, he's a sharp dresser and all... 584 00:29:13,853 --> 00:29:15,888 I don't think she's that hot. 585 00:29:16,989 --> 00:29:18,891 Well, that's good, man. 586 00:29:18,925 --> 00:29:21,760 Because as of today, she's your mortal enemy. 587 00:29:24,263 --> 00:29:26,899 She's not my mortal enemy, buddy. 588 00:29:26,933 --> 00:29:27,934 Not me. 589 00:29:27,967 --> 00:29:30,870 She's your Steve Kim. Only hot. 590 00:29:30,903 --> 00:29:33,005 I'm doing everything I can do, right? 591 00:29:33,039 --> 00:29:35,441 I've started this new poetry club with Stan. 592 00:29:35,474 --> 00:29:38,144 I'm pretty sure my article's gonna be published this semester. 593 00:29:38,177 --> 00:29:40,813 I've taught damn near every class you can teach 594 00:29:40,847 --> 00:29:42,081 In the department. 595 00:29:43,549 --> 00:29:46,118 I think I'm in pretty good shape. Aren't I? 596 00:29:46,152 --> 00:29:47,820 Do you pee sitting down? 597 00:29:47,854 --> 00:29:49,889 Yeah, occasionally, at night. Why? 598 00:29:49,922 --> 00:29:51,523 Don't admit that. 599 00:29:51,557 --> 00:29:53,292 Look, I played by the rules, 600 00:29:53,325 --> 00:29:55,561 And you saw what happened to me. 601 00:29:55,594 --> 00:29:58,430 It's time for politics, man. 602 00:29:58,464 --> 00:30:00,566 The dirtier, the better. 603 00:30:00,599 --> 00:30:03,535 Why can't I just teach my damn classes? 604 00:30:03,569 --> 00:30:06,305 That's not how it works. You gotta get creative. 605 00:30:06,338 --> 00:30:07,940 I mean, look at her. She's not even sitting 606 00:30:07,974 --> 00:30:09,441 On the right side of the bleachers. 607 00:30:09,475 --> 00:30:10,843 Yeah. 608 00:30:10,877 --> 00:30:12,578 Catch my drift? No. 609 00:30:12,611 --> 00:30:14,881 Wrong side of the bleachers. 610 00:30:16,883 --> 00:30:18,985 Oh, yeah. Like, uh... 611 00:30:20,219 --> 00:30:22,421 Poor school spirit? Exactly. 612 00:30:22,454 --> 00:30:25,091 School spirit is a solid angle, man. 613 00:30:25,124 --> 00:30:27,259 You deserve tenure. 614 00:30:27,293 --> 00:30:29,461 That's your spot, not hers. 615 00:30:30,629 --> 00:30:32,431 School spirit. 616 00:30:51,017 --> 00:30:52,384 Good Lord. 617 00:30:52,418 --> 00:30:54,887 Charlie, what are you wearing? 618 00:30:54,921 --> 00:30:57,957 Oh. Yeah. Hi. 619 00:30:57,990 --> 00:30:59,125 Oh, I see. 620 00:30:59,158 --> 00:31:00,893 Elaine was just telling me 621 00:31:00,927 --> 00:31:02,895 She is going to be published 622 00:31:02,929 --> 00:31:04,897 In the next issue of the August Journal. 623 00:31:04,931 --> 00:31:06,165 Isn't that fantastic? 624 00:31:07,399 --> 00:31:09,601 That's really great. It's wonderful. 625 00:31:09,635 --> 00:31:11,403 No, it's not such a big deal. 626 00:31:11,437 --> 00:31:14,606 On the contrary, Elaine, it is a big deal. 627 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:16,675 The August Journal is the cream of the crop. 628 00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:19,678 Yes. Congratulations. Good job. 629 00:31:19,711 --> 00:31:22,648 Oh, say, Elaine, I was gonna mention to you 630 00:31:22,681 --> 00:31:24,951 That, uh... I couldn't help but notice, 631 00:31:24,984 --> 00:31:27,419 At the basketball game yesterday, 632 00:31:27,453 --> 00:31:30,990 You were sitting on the opposing team's side of the court. 633 00:31:31,023 --> 00:31:33,059 Oh. 634 00:31:33,092 --> 00:31:34,526 I didn't even know. 635 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:36,662 I just wanted to watch the game. 636 00:31:36,695 --> 00:31:38,697 No biggie. 637 00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:41,200 I don't know how they do things over at Yale, 638 00:31:41,233 --> 00:31:42,701 But around here, 639 00:31:42,734 --> 00:31:45,371 We're pretty big on school spirit. 640 00:31:47,706 --> 00:31:50,342 Okay. Go Whales! Right? Ha ha! 641 00:31:58,717 --> 00:32:00,987 What I'm saying, Ben, 642 00:32:01,020 --> 00:32:03,122 I just don't think your story's as smart as you are. 643 00:32:03,155 --> 00:32:04,356 I don't think there is enough 644 00:32:04,390 --> 00:32:05,691 Of who you are as a person in it. 645 00:32:05,724 --> 00:32:08,127 So, you're saying it sucks, right? 646 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,396 No, that's not what I'm saying at all. 647 00:32:10,429 --> 00:32:12,064 I just think it could be great 648 00:32:12,098 --> 00:32:14,266 If there was more, you know, Ben in it. 649 00:32:14,300 --> 00:32:17,036 You've written a story here that's about a hockey player. 650 00:32:17,069 --> 00:32:18,137 That's not you. 651 00:32:18,170 --> 00:32:19,538 Well, what would you write about? 652 00:32:19,571 --> 00:32:21,473 Uh... 653 00:32:21,507 --> 00:32:23,742 I'd write a story about a, uh... 654 00:32:23,775 --> 00:32:26,445 A teacher whose life is in a shambles, 655 00:32:26,478 --> 00:32:29,748 Just a kind of slow-moving disaster. 656 00:32:29,781 --> 00:32:31,517 He's mid-thirties, 657 00:32:31,550 --> 00:32:33,352 Still sleeping on a futon. 658 00:32:35,154 --> 00:32:36,755 The point is, it'd be terrible. 659 00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:39,425 But I'm not a good writer. You are. You all are. 660 00:32:39,458 --> 00:32:42,094 That's what I'm trying to tell you guys. 661 00:32:42,128 --> 00:32:43,996 Maybe the teacher in your story 662 00:32:44,030 --> 00:32:46,198 Just needs somebody to help him... 663 00:32:46,232 --> 00:32:48,567 You know, to organize himself. 664 00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:51,237 Yeah. Yeah, thanks. 665 00:32:51,270 --> 00:32:54,006 Look, you all want to be writers. 666 00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:55,741 You're really gonna have to try and look inside yourselves 667 00:32:55,774 --> 00:32:57,343 And examine who you are. 668 00:32:57,376 --> 00:33:00,579 Otherwise, it's a waste of time. 669 00:33:00,612 --> 00:33:02,781 You know, take Stan, for instance. 670 00:33:02,814 --> 00:33:05,384 He's been working on, uh... 671 00:33:05,417 --> 00:33:07,053 Well, sex poems. 672 00:33:09,055 --> 00:33:11,523 Look, it's not a joke. It takes courage to do that. 673 00:33:11,557 --> 00:33:13,492 That's what I'm trying to say to you guys. 674 00:33:13,525 --> 00:33:16,095 You're gonna have to take a chance to do something good. 675 00:33:16,128 --> 00:33:18,330 But what if writing what you really want would get you in trouble? 676 00:33:18,364 --> 00:33:21,133 Guys, look... 677 00:33:21,167 --> 00:33:23,602 I told you... For this class, 678 00:33:23,635 --> 00:33:25,337 I don't want there to be any rules. 679 00:33:25,371 --> 00:33:27,106 I don't care what the other teachers tell you. 680 00:33:27,139 --> 00:33:30,309 I just want you to be yourselves. Okay? 681 00:33:30,342 --> 00:33:32,144 Write about what you know. 682 00:33:32,178 --> 00:33:34,780 Okay. 683 00:33:34,813 --> 00:33:38,084 Don't... Don't worry. It's not a test. 684 00:33:38,117 --> 00:33:39,818 Teacher evaluation form. 685 00:33:39,851 --> 00:33:41,453 Just take a look at it. 686 00:33:41,487 --> 00:33:43,189 Fill it out for me, please. 687 00:33:43,222 --> 00:33:44,623 What's it for? 688 00:33:44,656 --> 00:33:46,158 It's standard for assistant professors 689 00:33:46,192 --> 00:33:47,326 Up for tenure. 690 00:33:47,359 --> 00:33:50,196 I go up for review next month. 691 00:33:58,170 --> 00:34:00,706 I'm here to collect the evaluations. 692 00:34:04,276 --> 00:34:06,145 Thank you. You're welcome. 693 00:34:06,178 --> 00:34:08,747 Any progress on publishing your article? 694 00:34:08,780 --> 00:34:10,782 No, not yet. 695 00:34:10,816 --> 00:34:12,818 Is this gonna be a problem? 696 00:34:12,851 --> 00:34:15,154 No. I, uh... 697 00:34:15,187 --> 00:34:17,156 I mean... 698 00:34:17,189 --> 00:34:18,624 Well, what do you mean? 699 00:34:18,657 --> 00:34:21,493 What do I... Charlie, I'm the head of the department. 700 00:34:21,527 --> 00:34:23,095 This reflects on all of us. 701 00:34:23,129 --> 00:34:24,430 I know. I just... 702 00:34:24,463 --> 00:34:26,765 I've been rewriting it again, and... 703 00:34:26,798 --> 00:34:29,135 Good. You're up for tenure. 704 00:34:29,168 --> 00:34:31,137 You have to publish something. 705 00:34:32,604 --> 00:34:34,573 Whew. I... 706 00:34:34,606 --> 00:34:37,243 I am not charmed by you, Thurber. 707 00:34:49,921 --> 00:34:52,291 It's called survival, Charlie... 708 00:34:52,324 --> 00:34:54,726 Letting the air out of a colleague's tires? 709 00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:56,528 Don't get so technical. 710 00:34:56,562 --> 00:34:59,198 She'd do the same thing to you. 711 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,248 Dude, floor it. 712 00:35:17,616 --> 00:35:19,218 Floor it! 713 00:35:21,720 --> 00:35:23,255 Go! 714 00:35:24,290 --> 00:35:25,591 Floor it! 715 00:35:27,759 --> 00:35:30,729 Hey, what do you know about herbal sexual enhancement? 716 00:35:30,762 --> 00:35:33,599 It's just that Maggie says you're short on cash, 717 00:35:33,632 --> 00:35:36,468 And I may have come into something really good. 718 00:35:36,502 --> 00:35:40,272 Maggie? Your sister. 719 00:35:40,306 --> 00:35:41,807 You call her Maggie? 720 00:35:42,974 --> 00:35:45,211 So, you two talk? 721 00:35:45,244 --> 00:35:47,946 Yeah, all the time. You know, since the trip. 722 00:35:47,979 --> 00:35:50,649 It's just that I know she's puttin' the screws to you for cash. 723 00:35:50,682 --> 00:35:52,218 Can we just not talk 724 00:35:52,251 --> 00:35:54,253 About my family situation here? 725 00:35:54,286 --> 00:35:56,588 Look, I just want to let you in on the ground floor. 726 00:35:56,622 --> 00:35:58,257 If you wait too long, 727 00:35:58,290 --> 00:35:59,825 This thing's gonna blow up. 728 00:35:59,858 --> 00:36:01,660 It's FDA-approved and everything. 729 00:36:01,693 --> 00:36:03,295 I appreciate that, Jay. I really do. 730 00:36:03,329 --> 00:36:04,796 But I've got to go home right now 731 00:36:04,830 --> 00:36:06,498 And bake a motherfucking double batch of brownies 732 00:36:06,532 --> 00:36:08,200 For the faculty meeting tomorrow morning. 733 00:36:08,234 --> 00:36:10,302 So I kind of got my hands full. 734 00:36:11,603 --> 00:36:12,871 Mmm! 735 00:36:14,506 --> 00:36:15,874 Wonderful brownies, Charlie. 736 00:36:15,907 --> 00:36:17,343 Just wonderful. Thank you. 737 00:36:17,376 --> 00:36:18,677 Professor? 738 00:36:18,710 --> 00:36:20,312 Oh, thank you, Charlie. 739 00:36:21,780 --> 00:36:23,815 Oh. Good morning. 740 00:36:23,849 --> 00:36:25,951 Don't mind if I do. 741 00:36:28,954 --> 00:36:32,558 I guess Miss Grasso is not gonna join us this morning. 742 00:36:32,591 --> 00:36:34,526 Very well. Let's begin. 743 00:36:35,927 --> 00:36:38,597 All I can say is that I was so impressed. 744 00:36:38,630 --> 00:36:41,333 I mean, the talent and the intellect... 745 00:36:43,402 --> 00:36:45,237 So sorry I'm late. 746 00:36:45,271 --> 00:36:46,938 I had a flat tire this morning. 747 00:36:46,972 --> 00:36:48,940 It was completely out of the blue. 748 00:36:48,974 --> 00:36:50,276 Sorry. 749 00:36:50,309 --> 00:36:51,610 Very well. 750 00:36:51,643 --> 00:36:53,011 Charlie has volunteered 751 00:36:53,044 --> 00:36:55,847 To act as secretary in your absence. 752 00:36:55,881 --> 00:36:58,317 Where were we, Charlie? 753 00:36:58,350 --> 00:37:00,018 Professor Slocumb was just telling us 754 00:37:00,051 --> 00:37:02,621 About our Canterbury Tales themed Caribbean cruise. 755 00:37:02,654 --> 00:37:04,456 Right. Hannah? 756 00:37:04,490 --> 00:37:05,991 Yes, it was absolutely wonderful. 757 00:37:06,024 --> 00:37:09,528 The captain spoke flawless Old English. 758 00:37:11,497 --> 00:37:13,031 All join hands. 759 00:37:13,064 --> 00:37:15,701 Bring it to the center. 760 00:37:15,734 --> 00:37:17,369 And take it back home. 761 00:37:17,403 --> 00:37:20,306 Take it back home. 762 00:37:20,339 --> 00:37:22,908 You should go out there, Dad, have some fun. 763 00:37:22,941 --> 00:37:25,311 I'd rather saw off my prick 764 00:37:25,344 --> 00:37:26,812 With a plastic knife. 765 00:37:28,414 --> 00:37:29,481 What's the good of this place 766 00:37:29,515 --> 00:37:30,916 If you don't participate in anything? 767 00:37:32,918 --> 00:37:34,320 Exactly. 768 00:37:44,430 --> 00:37:46,365 You hate it that much? 769 00:37:49,401 --> 00:37:51,403 I don't know why I'm here. 770 00:37:59,445 --> 00:38:01,313 Dad, you know, you disappeared 771 00:38:01,347 --> 00:38:03,649 For three days last year. 772 00:38:06,017 --> 00:38:07,653 We thought you were dead. 773 00:38:07,686 --> 00:38:09,388 That's your sister talking. 774 00:38:09,421 --> 00:38:11,623 We can't leave you alone anymore. 775 00:38:11,657 --> 00:38:13,291 Heh. 776 00:38:16,094 --> 00:38:18,397 You think I'm not alone? 777 00:38:26,705 --> 00:38:30,809 In chapter one of the assigned reading, 778 00:38:30,842 --> 00:38:32,544 We meet the protagonist. 779 00:38:32,578 --> 00:38:35,013 And... ahem... 780 00:38:35,046 --> 00:38:37,483 The themes are very clearly established. 781 00:38:37,516 --> 00:38:39,485 Does any one know 782 00:38:39,518 --> 00:38:41,787 What the theme of Crime and Punishment is? 783 00:38:47,593 --> 00:38:49,561 Oh. Hello, Professor Thurber. 784 00:38:49,595 --> 00:38:51,830 Hi. Excuse me. I just need to borrow 785 00:38:51,863 --> 00:38:53,865 Your overhead projector for just a moment. 786 00:38:53,899 --> 00:38:55,000 Sure. 787 00:38:55,033 --> 00:38:56,368 I'll be right out of here. 788 00:38:56,402 --> 00:38:57,803 Excuse me. 789 00:38:57,836 --> 00:39:00,806 Great book. One of my favorites. 790 00:39:00,839 --> 00:39:04,075 Wow. Usually I can't shut these punks up. 791 00:39:05,176 --> 00:39:07,646 Blair, did you even do the reading? 792 00:39:07,679 --> 00:39:09,481 Yes. 793 00:39:09,515 --> 00:39:11,583 This is like pulling teeth. 794 00:39:11,617 --> 00:39:13,419 I don't know how you do it. 795 00:39:13,452 --> 00:39:15,787 And, so, what did you think of Raskolnikov? 796 00:39:15,821 --> 00:39:18,490 I mean, he's a poor student, like you, 797 00:39:18,524 --> 00:39:20,492 Minus the laptop. 798 00:39:20,526 --> 00:39:22,461 What'd you think of him? 799 00:39:22,494 --> 00:39:24,095 Well... 800 00:39:25,697 --> 00:39:27,866 I felt sorry for him, I guess. 801 00:39:27,899 --> 00:39:29,535 Why, Blair? 802 00:39:29,568 --> 00:39:32,704 'Cause his life sucks so bad. 803 00:39:32,738 --> 00:39:35,574 You get the feeling something really awful is about to happen. 804 00:39:35,607 --> 00:39:37,142 Which is cool, I guess. 805 00:39:37,175 --> 00:39:38,009 I wish I was in this class. 806 00:39:38,043 --> 00:39:39,878 I'll have this back by tomorrow morning. 807 00:39:39,911 --> 00:39:41,480 Thank you very much. 808 00:39:41,513 --> 00:39:43,148 Thank you. 809 00:39:51,857 --> 00:39:53,459 Check this out. 810 00:39:53,492 --> 00:39:54,793 You are not gonna believe it. 811 00:40:03,134 --> 00:40:05,671 Jay, what is this? 812 00:40:05,704 --> 00:40:07,873 I've got her under 24-hour surveillance. 813 00:40:07,906 --> 00:40:11,443 It's amazing. I found this perfect vantage point in her backyard... 814 00:40:11,477 --> 00:40:13,745 Oak tree, I think. Maybe a maple. Strong branches. 815 00:40:13,779 --> 00:40:15,514 All right, turn it off. 816 00:40:15,547 --> 00:40:17,583 What? This is the best part. 817 00:40:19,485 --> 00:40:20,586 Jesus. 818 00:40:22,488 --> 00:40:24,556 Fuck, man, this is... 819 00:40:24,590 --> 00:40:26,558 What is this possibly gonna get us? 820 00:40:26,592 --> 00:40:29,661 Surveillance, man. You never know. 821 00:40:29,695 --> 00:40:32,230 It's illegal, Jay. Says who? 822 00:40:32,263 --> 00:40:34,866 Says the police. The law, Jay. 823 00:40:34,900 --> 00:40:37,569 I just thought... Listen... 824 00:40:37,603 --> 00:40:38,870 You can't do things like that. 825 00:40:38,904 --> 00:40:41,206 You're supposed to be helping me. 826 00:40:49,247 --> 00:40:51,517 Listen... 827 00:40:51,550 --> 00:40:54,520 Jay, I know your heart is in the right place. 828 00:40:54,553 --> 00:40:56,588 I do. 829 00:40:56,622 --> 00:40:58,524 But you gotta promise me 830 00:40:58,557 --> 00:41:01,226 That you're not gonna do anything like that again. 831 00:41:01,259 --> 00:41:03,495 Please? 832 00:41:04,730 --> 00:41:05,964 I won't. 833 00:41:08,667 --> 00:41:10,636 I promise. 834 00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:30,556 Do you have a minute? 835 00:41:30,589 --> 00:41:33,224 Uh, yeah. Yeah, come on in. 836 00:41:34,693 --> 00:41:36,227 Have a seat. 837 00:41:40,298 --> 00:41:42,768 I just wanted to thank you 838 00:41:42,801 --> 00:41:44,736 For the other day. 839 00:41:44,770 --> 00:41:46,838 I know we're in competition with each other, 840 00:41:46,872 --> 00:41:48,640 But that was really nice of you. 841 00:41:48,674 --> 00:41:50,208 Oh, yeah, yeah. No problem. 842 00:41:50,241 --> 00:41:51,543 I, uh... 843 00:41:51,577 --> 00:41:53,612 The kids, they can be a little weird 844 00:41:53,645 --> 00:41:54,780 Around new teachers. 845 00:41:56,081 --> 00:41:59,317 Yeah. I'm not so sure it's them. 846 00:41:59,350 --> 00:42:01,820 Anyway, I was wondering 847 00:42:01,853 --> 00:42:03,655 If you had any advice... 848 00:42:03,689 --> 00:42:05,290 You know, for the new kid. 849 00:42:05,323 --> 00:42:08,193 Uh... gosh, I... 850 00:42:08,226 --> 00:42:11,029 I think some of the best advice I got about teaching 851 00:42:11,062 --> 00:42:14,666 Was just to try to not act like a teacher. 852 00:42:14,700 --> 00:42:16,568 Just try to be yourself. 853 00:42:16,602 --> 00:42:18,336 Yeah, I think that might be the problem. 854 00:42:18,369 --> 00:42:20,171 I am being myself. 855 00:42:20,205 --> 00:42:21,773 How do you mean? 856 00:42:21,807 --> 00:42:23,108 Dude! 857 00:42:23,141 --> 00:42:24,810 I've been lookin' all over for you. 858 00:42:24,843 --> 00:42:26,878 We've got the Bigfoot Club. 859 00:42:26,912 --> 00:42:28,213 The kids are waiting. 860 00:42:28,246 --> 00:42:31,216 You know, we can do this another time. 861 00:42:31,249 --> 00:42:32,317 I'm sorry. 862 00:42:32,350 --> 00:42:33,852 No, that's fine. 863 00:42:33,885 --> 00:42:35,553 We're searching for Sasquatch. 864 00:42:36,988 --> 00:42:38,323 Oh. Great. 865 00:42:38,356 --> 00:42:40,726 Well, good luck. 866 00:42:40,759 --> 00:42:42,160 Yeah. 867 00:42:44,262 --> 00:42:46,632 Dude, I told you to page me if you were under attack. 868 00:42:46,665 --> 00:42:48,233 I wasn't under attack. 869 00:42:48,266 --> 00:42:49,901 I was trying to converse with a colleague. 870 00:42:49,935 --> 00:42:51,369 I was just trying to talk to Elaine. 871 00:42:51,402 --> 00:42:53,338 Don't let Elaine sweet-talk you. 872 00:42:53,371 --> 00:42:55,874 It's time to be strong... 873 00:42:55,907 --> 00:42:57,776 Or it's all over. 874 00:42:57,809 --> 00:43:00,178 Pack your bags for Turdville State. 875 00:43:00,211 --> 00:43:02,180 Come on. Where are we going? 876 00:43:02,213 --> 00:43:03,882 I told you... Bigfoot Club. 877 00:43:03,915 --> 00:43:06,117 That was for real? 878 00:43:06,151 --> 00:43:08,620 Well, I'm not a member, am I? So I... 879 00:43:08,654 --> 00:43:11,156 Probationary. But the guys dig you. 880 00:43:11,189 --> 00:43:13,324 Plus, you got a car. 881 00:43:13,358 --> 00:43:14,826 Come on. 882 00:43:21,867 --> 00:43:23,401 Leakey's gonna be pissed 883 00:43:23,434 --> 00:43:25,804 When I'm on the cover of National Geographic. 884 00:43:25,837 --> 00:43:27,305 Oh, yeah. 885 00:43:27,338 --> 00:43:28,974 You'll be an American hero, 886 00:43:29,007 --> 00:43:31,342 And he'll still be riding his stupid fold-up bike 887 00:43:31,376 --> 00:43:33,712 Around Grey College. 888 00:43:33,745 --> 00:43:36,214 Does that thing fold up? 889 00:43:36,247 --> 00:43:38,383 That's actually kind of sweet. 890 00:43:38,416 --> 00:43:40,118 I don't know. Maybe. 891 00:43:40,151 --> 00:43:41,386 Dr. Hadley! 892 00:43:41,419 --> 00:43:43,354 Get the calipers! 893 00:43:45,423 --> 00:43:47,025 Calipers. 894 00:43:48,326 --> 00:43:50,996 Remember... If we make contact, 895 00:43:51,029 --> 00:43:53,631 Don't show your teeth. Never bare your teeth! 896 00:43:56,301 --> 00:43:57,669 Come on! 897 00:43:57,703 --> 00:43:59,237 This is what you signed up for! 898 00:44:08,146 --> 00:44:10,248 Remind me to email that photo 899 00:44:10,281 --> 00:44:11,683 To Steve Kim, will you? 900 00:44:11,717 --> 00:44:14,820 Okay. "Email Professor Kim." 901 00:44:14,853 --> 00:44:16,421 Do you think it's real? 902 00:44:16,454 --> 00:44:19,157 You're fuckin'- A right it's real. 903 00:44:19,190 --> 00:44:21,359 The only problem is... 904 00:44:21,392 --> 00:44:24,129 I forgot to bring my plaster casting gear with me. 905 00:44:24,162 --> 00:44:26,297 The West Coasters are gonna call bullshit 906 00:44:26,331 --> 00:44:27,733 On the whole thing. 907 00:44:27,766 --> 00:44:29,267 Fucking snobs. 908 00:44:29,300 --> 00:44:30,736 That's bullshit! 909 00:44:30,769 --> 00:44:32,137 Take it easy, guys. 910 00:44:32,170 --> 00:44:34,339 It's all part of the yeti game. 911 00:44:34,372 --> 00:44:36,441 What about the photos? Those work, right? 912 00:44:36,474 --> 00:44:39,277 Anybody can pull a hoax with Photoshop these days. 913 00:44:39,310 --> 00:44:41,713 This is bull-crap. 914 00:44:41,747 --> 00:44:44,115 This is solid progress, guys. 915 00:44:44,149 --> 00:44:45,751 Don't let it get you down. 916 00:44:45,784 --> 00:44:47,819 Go back to campus, get my plaster gear... 917 00:44:47,853 --> 00:44:49,454 What if it rains? We'll lose the print! 918 00:44:49,487 --> 00:44:51,156 Cool down, dudes! 919 00:44:51,189 --> 00:44:53,191 Easy. It's okay. 920 00:44:53,224 --> 00:44:56,027 One thing's for sure... 921 00:44:56,061 --> 00:44:59,397 That son of a bitch is out there somewhere. 922 00:45:18,817 --> 00:45:20,986 Did you ever talk to Dad about the telethons? 923 00:45:21,019 --> 00:45:22,520 You didn't, did you? 924 00:45:22,553 --> 00:45:24,756 They called me again, Charlie. 925 00:45:26,324 --> 00:45:28,526 Faculty lounge, noon. 926 00:45:28,559 --> 00:45:30,862 I've got a winner. 927 00:45:40,171 --> 00:45:41,840 Hmm! 928 00:45:43,241 --> 00:45:44,542 That's funny. 929 00:45:44,575 --> 00:45:47,078 I thought I left a Coke in here yesterday. 930 00:45:47,112 --> 00:45:49,180 Hmm. Oh, Elaine? 931 00:45:49,214 --> 00:45:51,249 Did you get that Coke out of the refrigerator? 932 00:45:51,282 --> 00:45:53,184 No. 933 00:45:53,218 --> 00:45:55,320 I brought this one from home. Why? 934 00:45:55,353 --> 00:45:58,156 No reason. I left a Coke in the fridge yesterday, 935 00:45:58,189 --> 00:45:59,490 And now it's gone. 936 00:45:59,524 --> 00:46:01,559 Well, this one's mine. 937 00:46:01,592 --> 00:46:03,394 I'm sure of it. 938 00:46:03,428 --> 00:46:06,197 Oh. Well, I always put a little sticker on mine 939 00:46:06,231 --> 00:46:07,966 With my name on it. 940 00:46:07,999 --> 00:46:09,901 So, I guess we could find out. 941 00:46:09,935 --> 00:46:11,803 Do you mind? 942 00:46:14,105 --> 00:46:15,540 Heh. 943 00:46:17,075 --> 00:46:18,243 Satisfied? 944 00:46:18,276 --> 00:46:19,811 I would be... 945 00:46:19,845 --> 00:46:22,347 Except I put the sticker on the bottom of the can. 946 00:46:31,156 --> 00:46:32,590 That can't... That can't be. 947 00:46:32,623 --> 00:46:34,392 I brought this one from home. 948 00:46:34,425 --> 00:46:35,994 I'm not gonna make a big deal out of it. 949 00:46:36,027 --> 00:46:37,562 It's warm. It's not from the refrigerator. 950 00:46:37,595 --> 00:46:39,230 Do me a favor. 951 00:46:39,264 --> 00:46:41,867 Just buy your own Coke from now on. 952 00:46:59,918 --> 00:47:03,288 "My fuck machine's engines are roaring", 953 00:47:03,321 --> 00:47:05,857 "They're soaring! 954 00:47:05,891 --> 00:47:09,627 Stroking and stroking my balls..." 955 00:47:10,996 --> 00:47:14,599 Is this the Erotic Poetry Club? 956 00:47:14,632 --> 00:47:16,601 Uh, yeah. Hi, Robin. 957 00:47:16,634 --> 00:47:19,270 It is, but we're actually just wrapping things up. 958 00:47:19,304 --> 00:47:20,405 Weren't we, Stan? 959 00:47:20,438 --> 00:47:21,973 No. We just started. 960 00:47:22,007 --> 00:47:23,608 You should join. 961 00:47:23,641 --> 00:47:26,277 I don't think we're actually taking new members this semester. Sorry. 962 00:47:26,311 --> 00:47:28,246 Yes, we are. Yes, we are. 963 00:47:28,279 --> 00:47:30,181 Um, so... 964 00:47:30,215 --> 00:47:32,951 What are you guys... do here? 965 00:47:32,984 --> 00:47:34,652 Well, um... 966 00:47:34,685 --> 00:47:37,655 Stan kind of teaches me the ways of the world, 967 00:47:37,688 --> 00:47:39,657 And I try and soak it all in. 968 00:47:39,690 --> 00:47:41,993 That's not true. It is, Stan. 969 00:47:42,027 --> 00:47:44,662 Don't sell yourself short. Remember what I told you? 970 00:47:44,695 --> 00:47:47,032 I wrote a poem. 971 00:47:47,065 --> 00:47:49,500 It's called Teacher's Pet. 972 00:47:49,534 --> 00:47:51,036 Read it. Read it. 973 00:47:51,069 --> 00:47:52,403 Whoa. Robin, do me a favor... 974 00:47:52,437 --> 00:47:54,005 Wait on that, okay? 975 00:47:54,039 --> 00:47:55,673 Stan, do you have something you could read first? 976 00:47:55,706 --> 00:47:57,675 No. 977 00:47:57,708 --> 00:47:59,244 It's just that there's kind of a hierarchy 978 00:47:59,277 --> 00:48:00,545 In the Erotic Poetry Club. 979 00:48:00,578 --> 00:48:02,147 And generally, as a rule, 980 00:48:02,180 --> 00:48:04,549 We don't allow our newer members to read 981 00:48:04,582 --> 00:48:05,984 On their first day. 982 00:48:06,017 --> 00:48:08,019 There's never been a new member. 983 00:48:08,053 --> 00:48:09,520 And I'm president, 984 00:48:09,554 --> 00:48:11,656 So I can overrule you. Read it. 985 00:48:11,689 --> 00:48:13,925 Okay. 986 00:48:18,663 --> 00:48:20,966 "I want to be the teacher's pet." 987 00:48:23,201 --> 00:48:25,536 "The thought of it makes me..." 988 00:48:25,570 --> 00:48:27,072 Okay! I gotta get going. 989 00:48:27,105 --> 00:48:28,673 You guys take it from here. 990 00:48:28,706 --> 00:48:30,341 No! Let her finish. 991 00:48:30,375 --> 00:48:31,909 Sit down. Sit down. 992 00:48:34,679 --> 00:48:37,983 "I want to be the teacher's pet." 993 00:48:38,016 --> 00:48:41,319 "The thought of it makes me..." 994 00:48:41,352 --> 00:48:43,521 "Sad." 995 00:48:43,554 --> 00:48:47,625 "Because I know it's not to be." 996 00:48:47,658 --> 00:48:49,694 "I'm not for him..." 997 00:48:49,727 --> 00:48:52,163 "And he's not for me." 998 00:48:54,699 --> 00:48:57,602 That wasn't very erotic. 999 00:48:57,635 --> 00:48:59,937 Was it? 1000 00:49:18,723 --> 00:49:19,724 Hey. 1001 00:49:19,757 --> 00:49:21,359 Hi. 1002 00:49:23,761 --> 00:49:25,463 Don't worry, okay? 1003 00:49:25,496 --> 00:49:27,032 It gets better. 1004 00:49:28,333 --> 00:49:30,235 I'm not so sure. 1005 00:49:32,070 --> 00:49:34,105 You want to take a walk or something? 1006 00:49:35,140 --> 00:49:36,407 Yeah. 1007 00:49:36,441 --> 00:49:37,742 Yeah, I'd like that. 1008 00:49:37,775 --> 00:49:39,344 Okay. 1009 00:49:44,082 --> 00:49:45,450 I'm a terrible teacher. 1010 00:49:45,483 --> 00:49:48,219 Oh, come on. No. 1011 00:49:48,253 --> 00:49:50,455 You're just having a tough time adjusting. 1012 00:49:50,488 --> 00:49:52,257 It gets easier. 1013 00:49:52,290 --> 00:49:54,059 No, no. 1014 00:49:54,092 --> 00:49:56,361 I was at Yale for three years. 1015 00:49:56,394 --> 00:49:59,597 Same thing... I never adjusted. 1016 00:49:59,630 --> 00:50:02,200 Well, they can smell fear, the kids. 1017 00:50:02,233 --> 00:50:03,634 I know. 1018 00:50:03,668 --> 00:50:05,036 Yeah. 1019 00:50:07,805 --> 00:50:10,108 Can I tell you a secret? 1020 00:50:10,141 --> 00:50:11,209 Sure. 1021 00:50:13,078 --> 00:50:15,513 Yale was going to fire me. 1022 00:50:15,546 --> 00:50:17,448 Really? 1023 00:50:17,482 --> 00:50:19,784 Mm-hmm. Yeah. 1024 00:50:19,817 --> 00:50:21,719 That's why I'm here. 1025 00:50:21,752 --> 00:50:25,090 I know Dean Leakey paints a rosier picture, 1026 00:50:25,123 --> 00:50:27,192 But that's the truth. 1027 00:50:27,225 --> 00:50:30,161 I just couldn't cut it. 1028 00:50:30,195 --> 00:50:32,363 I just freeze up, you know? 1029 00:50:32,397 --> 00:50:34,265 I prepare, I plan, 1030 00:50:34,299 --> 00:50:36,367 I write everything down. I know... 1031 00:50:36,401 --> 00:50:39,137 I know all the material backwards and forwards. 1032 00:50:39,170 --> 00:50:40,605 But it just never fails. 1033 00:50:40,638 --> 00:50:42,840 Every time I get in front of the class, 1034 00:50:42,873 --> 00:50:44,809 I freeze up. 1035 00:50:47,212 --> 00:50:49,080 I don't know what to do. 1036 00:50:53,184 --> 00:50:55,486 Well, I mean, maybe you should try 1037 00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:57,155 To not prepare so much. 1038 00:50:57,188 --> 00:50:58,289 Don't write everything down. 1039 00:50:58,323 --> 00:51:00,525 Don't plan so much. 1040 00:51:00,558 --> 00:51:02,727 Just try to wing it and see what happens. Ha ha! 1041 00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:05,096 No, I think you'd be surprised by how well you do. 1042 00:51:05,130 --> 00:51:07,432 That's completely terrifying. 1043 00:51:07,465 --> 00:51:09,234 The fear part goes away 1044 00:51:09,267 --> 00:51:11,202 Once you get the hang of it. 1045 00:51:12,903 --> 00:51:14,672 I don't know. 1046 00:51:16,707 --> 00:51:19,810 Well, just remember... 1047 00:51:19,844 --> 00:51:22,447 You're the smartest person in the room. 1048 00:51:24,249 --> 00:51:26,217 Hell, you're probably the smartest person 1049 00:51:26,251 --> 00:51:28,253 At Grey College. 1050 00:51:32,290 --> 00:51:33,724 Hmm. 1051 00:51:33,758 --> 00:51:35,593 Hmm. 1052 00:51:35,626 --> 00:51:38,363 Did you see the look on Leakey's face? 1053 00:51:38,396 --> 00:51:40,198 You're not hearing me. 1054 00:51:40,231 --> 00:51:41,799 It's over. 1055 00:51:44,602 --> 00:51:47,505 You're my best friend, Charlie. 1056 00:51:47,538 --> 00:51:49,207 I'm just trying to help. 1057 00:51:49,240 --> 00:51:52,177 I know you are, Jay, but it's not right, 1058 00:51:52,210 --> 00:51:53,611 What you're doing. 1059 00:51:53,644 --> 00:51:56,181 And it's stressing me out. 1060 00:51:56,214 --> 00:51:58,749 And, you know, she's a nice person. 1061 00:52:00,251 --> 00:52:01,586 How nice? 1062 00:52:01,619 --> 00:52:03,154 Nice. 1063 00:52:03,188 --> 00:52:04,755 Pleasant. 1064 00:52:04,789 --> 00:52:07,225 Christ, you dig her, don't you? 1065 00:52:07,258 --> 00:52:08,893 No, I don't dig her, Jay. 1066 00:52:08,926 --> 00:52:11,362 I just... I said she was pleasant. 1067 00:52:15,933 --> 00:52:17,868 Still want to go to the seminar with me? 1068 00:52:17,902 --> 00:52:19,637 Or are you all mad at me? 1069 00:52:19,670 --> 00:52:21,939 I'll go. Just stop accusing people 1070 00:52:21,972 --> 00:52:25,443 Of stealing Cokes, all right? 1071 00:52:28,979 --> 00:52:30,781 Oh, yeah! 1072 00:52:30,815 --> 00:52:33,451 What does IBO stand for? 1073 00:52:33,484 --> 00:52:35,286 Come on, guys! 1074 00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:38,323 What does IBO stand for? 1075 00:52:38,356 --> 00:52:39,824 Individual Business Owner. 1076 00:52:39,857 --> 00:52:41,959 That is exactly right, my man. 1077 00:52:41,992 --> 00:52:44,229 Individual Business Owner. 1078 00:52:44,262 --> 00:52:45,596 The American dream, 1079 00:52:45,630 --> 00:52:49,867 And the future of everyone in this room. 1080 00:52:49,900 --> 00:52:51,669 You! 1081 00:52:51,702 --> 00:52:54,205 Citizen! What's your name? 1082 00:52:54,239 --> 00:52:55,340 Charlie. 1083 00:52:55,373 --> 00:52:58,209 Charlie! I'm Dave. 1084 00:52:58,243 --> 00:52:59,043 Hi. 1085 00:52:59,076 --> 00:53:00,611 That's the guy I was telling you about. 1086 00:53:00,645 --> 00:53:02,713 Tell me something, Charlie... 1087 00:53:02,747 --> 00:53:04,415 Are you satisfied 1088 00:53:04,449 --> 00:53:06,484 With the way things are going in your life? 1089 00:53:06,517 --> 00:53:08,919 Yeah, it's pretty good. 1090 00:53:08,953 --> 00:53:11,322 Zowie! Then why are you here, Charlie? 1091 00:53:11,356 --> 00:53:12,657 Actually... 1092 00:53:12,690 --> 00:53:14,959 If my life were pretty good, 1093 00:53:14,992 --> 00:53:17,662 I sure as hell wouldn't be here right now, you know what I'm sayin'? 1094 00:53:17,695 --> 00:53:19,630 So... 1095 00:53:19,664 --> 00:53:22,300 "Pretty good". 1096 00:53:22,333 --> 00:53:24,469 "Pretty good." 1097 00:53:24,502 --> 00:53:26,537 You're satisfied with "pretty good"? 1098 00:53:26,571 --> 00:53:28,806 Yeah, I think so. 1099 00:53:31,542 --> 00:53:33,444 Let me tell you something, 1100 00:53:33,478 --> 00:53:36,247 Right here, right now, Charlie. 1101 00:53:36,281 --> 00:53:38,383 No, you're not. 1102 00:53:39,817 --> 00:53:42,687 Now I'm gonna ask that question again. 1103 00:53:42,720 --> 00:53:44,655 Are you satisfied? 1104 00:53:44,689 --> 00:53:45,956 Yes. 1105 00:53:45,990 --> 00:53:50,361 And the answer is: no... you're... not. 1106 00:53:50,395 --> 00:53:51,362 I am, actually. I'm... 1107 00:53:51,396 --> 00:53:53,998 No, you're not, Charlie. Everybody, come on. 1108 00:53:54,031 --> 00:53:55,533 Say it with me. 1109 00:53:55,566 --> 00:53:57,635 No, you're not. 1110 00:53:57,668 --> 00:53:59,804 No, you're not. Yeah! 1111 00:53:59,837 --> 00:54:01,872 No, you're not! 1112 00:54:01,906 --> 00:54:03,007 I'm happy... 1113 00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:04,575 You're not, Charlie. Okay, no, I'm not. 1114 00:54:04,609 --> 00:54:06,344 Or you wouldn't be here. 1115 00:54:06,377 --> 00:54:07,745 You follow me? 1116 00:54:07,778 --> 00:54:09,514 Yeah. 1117 00:54:09,547 --> 00:54:11,849 Herb-Erect is the future. 1118 00:54:13,050 --> 00:54:15,486 And believe you me... 1119 00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:21,025 If you have ever had a 100% organic erection, 1120 00:54:21,058 --> 00:54:23,761 You'll understand why this stuff sells itself. 1121 00:54:23,794 --> 00:54:25,330 I gotta go. Excuse me. 1122 00:54:25,363 --> 00:54:26,597 Charlie. 1123 00:54:40,945 --> 00:54:42,813 Wonderful news, isn't it, Charlie? 1124 00:54:42,847 --> 00:54:44,081 Yeah. 1125 00:54:44,114 --> 00:54:46,351 She's a real talent. 1126 00:54:46,384 --> 00:54:49,086 How are your own publishing pursuits going? 1127 00:54:49,119 --> 00:54:52,523 It's been a dog's age since your last article. 1128 00:54:52,557 --> 00:54:54,859 Things are looking really good. 1129 00:54:56,394 --> 00:54:58,463 We'll be hearing the good news soon, then. 1130 00:55:06,371 --> 00:55:08,339 Charlie. 1131 00:55:08,373 --> 00:55:09,940 Oh. Hey, Elaine. 1132 00:55:09,974 --> 00:55:12,076 Congratulations on your article. 1133 00:55:12,109 --> 00:55:13,911 Oh, thank you. 1134 00:55:13,944 --> 00:55:16,113 Listen, um... 1135 00:55:16,146 --> 00:55:17,982 My boyfriend is visiting for the weekend, 1136 00:55:18,015 --> 00:55:19,650 And, well, I was wondering 1137 00:55:19,684 --> 00:55:21,752 If you and your partner might want to come for dinner. 1138 00:55:21,786 --> 00:55:23,854 Sure, that sounds gr... 1139 00:55:23,888 --> 00:55:25,623 I'm sorry, did you say "partner"? 1140 00:55:25,656 --> 00:55:27,692 Yeah. Well, Professor Hadley told me 1141 00:55:27,725 --> 00:55:29,093 You had a partner. 1142 00:55:30,795 --> 00:55:33,431 Like a male partner? Like a man? 1143 00:55:33,464 --> 00:55:35,433 Well, yeah. That's what he said. 1144 00:55:35,466 --> 00:55:37,602 No. No, uh... 1145 00:55:37,635 --> 00:55:39,404 That's not true. 1146 00:55:39,437 --> 00:55:41,539 What exactly, uh... 1147 00:55:41,572 --> 00:55:43,641 Did Professor Hadley say to you? 1148 00:55:43,674 --> 00:55:45,743 He told me you were gay. 1149 00:55:45,776 --> 00:55:47,512 No. No, I'm not. 1150 00:55:47,545 --> 00:55:49,847 I'm afraid he was just pulling your leg. I'm straight... 1151 00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:52,583 Uh, as an arrow. Oh, my God... 1152 00:55:52,617 --> 00:55:54,485 I've got a girlfriend and everything. 1153 00:55:54,519 --> 00:55:57,488 I'm so... I'm sorry. No, I'm so embarrassed. 1154 00:55:57,522 --> 00:55:58,556 Don't be. 1155 00:55:58,589 --> 00:56:00,157 I didn't... I thought it was strange. 1156 00:56:00,190 --> 00:56:01,792 Um, well, listen, 1157 00:56:01,826 --> 00:56:03,828 Why don't you and your girlfriend come? 1158 00:56:03,861 --> 00:56:05,129 Friday night? 1159 00:56:05,162 --> 00:56:06,897 Wonderful. Yeah? 1160 00:56:06,931 --> 00:56:08,466 It's her night off. 1161 00:56:08,499 --> 00:56:10,468 She works at PBS. 1162 00:56:10,501 --> 00:56:12,937 Great. Yeah. 1163 00:56:12,970 --> 00:56:14,472 Well, I'll see you then. 1164 00:56:14,505 --> 00:56:16,006 We'll be there. Okay. 1165 00:56:23,514 --> 00:56:25,616 I know we've never actually met in person, 1166 00:56:25,650 --> 00:56:27,552 But it is just one night. 1167 00:56:27,585 --> 00:56:29,520 I told you not to call me again. 1168 00:56:29,554 --> 00:56:31,856 I know, I know. But, look... 1169 00:56:31,889 --> 00:56:34,058 I really need a date to this party, 1170 00:56:34,091 --> 00:56:37,094 And who knows? You may even like me, right? 1171 00:56:37,127 --> 00:56:38,696 I don't know. 1172 00:56:38,729 --> 00:56:41,966 All right, well, listen, I'm not a stalker, okay? 1173 00:56:41,999 --> 00:56:44,001 So, we meet in a public place, 1174 00:56:44,034 --> 00:56:46,036 So there are no safety issues. 1175 00:56:46,070 --> 00:56:47,805 It's a long story, 1176 00:56:47,838 --> 00:56:49,940 But it would really be helpful for me 1177 00:56:49,974 --> 00:56:52,610 If you could do this, you know? 1178 00:56:52,643 --> 00:56:55,580 I'm sorry. I just can't do it. 1179 00:56:58,215 --> 00:57:00,217 What if I pay you a hundred bucks? 1180 00:57:00,250 --> 00:57:02,620 250. 1181 00:57:02,653 --> 00:57:04,455 Okay, fine. 1182 00:57:04,489 --> 00:57:05,856 Yeah, 250's good. 1183 00:57:05,890 --> 00:57:07,758 Okay, and my boyfriend is going to drive us. 1184 00:57:07,792 --> 00:57:09,527 You have a boyfriend? 1185 00:57:10,795 --> 00:57:12,697 Beth, can you hold on a sec? 1186 00:57:14,098 --> 00:57:15,566 Hello? 1187 00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:17,101 Where's my money, Charlie? 1188 00:57:17,134 --> 00:57:19,570 Margaret, hey, hi. I'm good, by the way. 1189 00:57:19,604 --> 00:57:22,807 But, yeah, I've had a few unexpected expenses this month. 1190 00:57:22,840 --> 00:57:24,542 But can you hang on a sec? 1191 00:57:24,575 --> 00:57:26,076 No, I can't hang on... 1192 00:57:26,110 --> 00:57:28,513 Beth, hi. Um... thanks again. 1193 00:57:28,546 --> 00:57:30,247 And, um, I gotta go now, 1194 00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:32,517 But I'm gonna call you back about the plans. 1195 00:57:32,550 --> 00:57:34,151 Okay. Thanks. 1196 00:57:40,257 --> 00:57:42,226 A giant, hairy creature... 1197 00:57:42,259 --> 00:57:44,261 Part ape, part man. 1198 00:57:44,294 --> 00:57:46,897 Indians call him Sasquatch. 1199 00:57:46,931 --> 00:57:48,733 They believe he is as gentle 1200 00:57:48,766 --> 00:57:50,968 As he is powerful and mysterious. 1201 00:57:54,905 --> 00:57:56,574 Yeah! 1202 00:57:57,875 --> 00:57:59,577 Hey, man. 1203 00:57:59,610 --> 00:58:01,145 What's goin' on? 1204 00:58:06,617 --> 00:58:07,985 Um... 1205 00:58:10,154 --> 00:58:12,990 You tell Professor Grasso I was gay? 1206 00:58:13,023 --> 00:58:15,593 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1207 00:58:15,626 --> 00:58:17,027 Hey, man, time out. 1208 00:58:17,061 --> 00:58:18,796 You're taking this way out of context. 1209 00:58:18,829 --> 00:58:21,799 What I said was that you were bi... 1210 00:58:21,832 --> 00:58:23,534 Curious. 1211 00:58:23,568 --> 00:58:26,604 There is no context here, Jay. 1212 00:58:26,637 --> 00:58:27,772 Bi?! 1213 00:58:27,805 --> 00:58:29,306 Curious! Why?! 1214 00:58:29,339 --> 00:58:32,142 It's a big difference. That means you're experimenting. 1215 00:58:32,176 --> 00:58:34,612 Well, here... 1216 00:58:34,645 --> 00:58:36,747 I mean, I was joking, you know? 1217 00:58:36,781 --> 00:58:38,849 She obviously doesn't even know how to take a joke. 1218 00:58:38,883 --> 00:58:40,951 She thought you were serious, Jay. 1219 00:58:40,985 --> 00:58:42,286 I just talked to her. 1220 00:58:42,319 --> 00:58:44,655 Heh. 1221 00:58:44,689 --> 00:58:46,957 All right, I'll be straight with you. 1222 00:58:48,258 --> 00:58:50,561 I thought she has the hots for you, man. 1223 00:58:50,595 --> 00:58:53,097 And that is definitely a no-fly zone. 1224 00:58:53,130 --> 00:58:54,632 You gotta use your head. 1225 00:58:54,665 --> 00:58:57,101 I told you I wanted to do this my way. 1226 00:58:57,134 --> 00:59:00,304 This was before you benched me. I swear. 1227 00:59:00,337 --> 00:59:02,907 You just... You... 1228 00:59:06,110 --> 00:59:07,778 Jesus. 1229 00:59:09,346 --> 00:59:11,649 How are you gonna sell all this? 1230 00:59:11,682 --> 00:59:13,884 How are we gonna sell that, partner? 1231 00:59:13,918 --> 00:59:16,153 We? You said you were into it. 1232 00:59:16,186 --> 00:59:18,989 No, I didn't. I left early, remember? 1233 00:59:20,891 --> 00:59:22,627 Does it even work? 1234 00:59:22,660 --> 00:59:25,062 I've had a hard-on for 16 hours. 1235 00:59:25,095 --> 00:59:27,598 Are you serious? 1236 00:59:27,632 --> 00:59:28,899 No joking... You know what? 1237 00:59:28,933 --> 00:59:30,968 It's actually kind of uncomfortable. 1238 00:59:31,001 --> 00:59:32,302 But I called Dave, 1239 00:59:32,336 --> 00:59:33,971 And he said it'll go away. 1240 00:59:34,004 --> 00:59:35,873 Hey, this is it. 1241 00:59:35,906 --> 00:59:37,241 Just be cool. 1242 00:59:37,274 --> 00:59:38,275 Who is it? 1243 00:59:38,308 --> 00:59:40,811 Remember that shit-stack who sold me that placebo? 1244 00:59:40,845 --> 00:59:42,346 The student, yeah. 1245 00:59:42,379 --> 00:59:44,649 Well, he's the biggest dealer on campus. 1246 00:59:44,682 --> 00:59:46,183 Perfect down line. 1247 00:59:46,216 --> 00:59:48,686 Are you... Are you crazy, Jay? 1248 00:59:48,719 --> 00:59:50,755 The guy sells fake ecstasy. 1249 00:59:50,788 --> 00:59:53,023 Only to teachers, man. Just relax. 1250 00:59:54,358 --> 00:59:55,993 Ohh. 1251 00:59:57,662 --> 00:59:58,996 Uhh. 1252 01:00:01,766 --> 01:00:03,100 Just be cool. 1253 01:00:03,133 --> 01:00:04,769 Okay. 1254 01:00:12,810 --> 01:00:14,712 I got a date tonight. 1255 01:00:14,745 --> 01:00:19,249 So, if this shit energizes my bunny... 1256 01:00:19,283 --> 01:00:21,385 I'll call you back. 1257 01:00:21,418 --> 01:00:24,755 You got a problem with that, Bigfoot? 1258 01:00:26,156 --> 01:00:27,992 That's cool, man. Yeah. 1259 01:00:29,293 --> 01:00:30,828 All right? 1260 01:00:48,779 --> 01:00:50,981 If you want out, just say the word. 1261 01:00:51,015 --> 01:00:52,717 Yeah. I want out. 1262 01:00:52,750 --> 01:00:54,985 I never wanted in, Jay. 1263 01:01:00,124 --> 01:01:02,159 You're gonna thank me later, dude. 1264 01:01:02,192 --> 01:01:04,762 Probably not. 1265 01:01:07,331 --> 01:01:11,268 So... you pay girls 1266 01:01:11,301 --> 01:01:13,738 To hang out with you very often, Professor? 1267 01:01:13,771 --> 01:01:16,206 First time, actually. 1268 01:01:16,240 --> 01:01:17,808 Officer. 1269 01:01:19,209 --> 01:01:21,078 It's legal. 1270 01:01:21,111 --> 01:01:23,413 I checked. 1271 01:01:23,447 --> 01:01:25,449 It's an escort deal. 1272 01:01:25,482 --> 01:01:27,918 Right, baby? Right. 1273 01:01:35,860 --> 01:01:37,728 Just follow my lead in there, okay? 1274 01:01:37,762 --> 01:01:38,929 Okay. 1275 01:01:38,963 --> 01:01:40,731 All they know is that you're my girlfriend 1276 01:01:40,765 --> 01:01:42,466 And that you work for PBS, okay? 1277 01:01:42,499 --> 01:01:44,168 I don't work for PBS. 1278 01:01:44,201 --> 01:01:46,370 What are you ta... What about the telethon? 1279 01:01:46,403 --> 01:01:48,272 I was a volunteer. 1280 01:01:48,305 --> 01:01:50,274 That was community service, actually. 1281 01:01:50,307 --> 01:01:52,509 Just... Just roll with it, okay? 1282 01:01:52,542 --> 01:01:54,812 Can you do that for me? Thanks. 1283 01:01:56,881 --> 01:01:58,182 I did drama in high school. 1284 01:01:58,215 --> 01:01:59,784 Okay. 1285 01:02:01,251 --> 01:02:04,454 Oh, and I think Tim wants to have a threesome later. 1286 01:02:04,488 --> 01:02:05,856 Hi! Hi! 1287 01:02:05,890 --> 01:02:07,825 Hello. Please come in. 1288 01:02:07,858 --> 01:02:09,293 After you. 1289 01:02:09,326 --> 01:02:11,461 Hello, hi. How are you? 1290 01:02:11,495 --> 01:02:13,197 Hi, Elaine. 1291 01:02:13,230 --> 01:02:15,766 This looks great. 1292 01:02:17,868 --> 01:02:19,336 Thanks for having us. 1293 01:02:19,369 --> 01:02:21,806 Warren Blake... English Department, Yale University. 1294 01:02:21,839 --> 01:02:23,273 Flash Gordon... 1295 01:02:23,307 --> 01:02:25,209 Quarterback, New York Jets. 1296 01:02:32,416 --> 01:02:34,184 Okay. 1297 01:02:34,218 --> 01:02:35,986 Oh, boy. 1298 01:02:36,020 --> 01:02:37,487 Oh. 1299 01:02:37,521 --> 01:02:38,989 Ugh. 1300 01:02:39,023 --> 01:02:40,557 Um, didn't Charlie tell you? 1301 01:02:40,590 --> 01:02:41,859 Tell me what? 1302 01:02:41,892 --> 01:02:43,928 I'm a vegetarian. 1303 01:02:45,195 --> 01:02:46,763 Oh, no. 1304 01:02:48,432 --> 01:02:50,267 Oh, I... 1305 01:02:50,300 --> 01:02:51,836 Honey, I forgot. 1306 01:02:51,869 --> 01:02:53,838 I'm sorry. It slipped my mind. 1307 01:02:53,871 --> 01:02:55,806 Oh, Charlie's so forgetful. 1308 01:02:55,840 --> 01:02:57,975 I became a vegetarian, um, 1309 01:02:58,008 --> 01:03:00,077 The first day I started at PBS. 1310 01:03:00,110 --> 01:03:02,813 It just felt right. 1311 01:03:02,847 --> 01:03:04,348 You know, I can whip up a salad 1312 01:03:04,381 --> 01:03:05,883 In no time at all. 1313 01:03:05,916 --> 01:03:07,251 Why don't I do that? 1314 01:03:07,284 --> 01:03:09,453 Let me help you, dear. No, no, no, 1315 01:03:09,486 --> 01:03:10,888 We don't mean to put you out. 1316 01:03:10,921 --> 01:03:12,089 You sure? 1317 01:03:12,122 --> 01:03:14,391 That's fine. 1318 01:03:14,424 --> 01:03:15,960 What are you doing? 1319 01:03:15,993 --> 01:03:17,527 What? I am a vegetarian. 1320 01:03:17,561 --> 01:03:19,964 Just... don't ruffle any feathers. 1321 01:03:19,997 --> 01:03:21,565 I thought it was cool, 1322 01:03:21,598 --> 01:03:23,267 How I worked in the whole... 1323 01:03:23,300 --> 01:03:24,902 PBS thing. 1324 01:03:24,935 --> 01:03:26,470 Oh, yeah, that was great. 1325 01:03:26,503 --> 01:03:28,438 Just take it easy. 1326 01:03:30,407 --> 01:03:32,176 Just follow my lead, all right? 1327 01:03:35,279 --> 01:03:37,414 Ha ha ha! Charlie! 1328 01:03:37,447 --> 01:03:40,851 That's good. 1329 01:03:44,922 --> 01:03:46,623 So, Warren... 1330 01:03:46,656 --> 01:03:48,825 Hmm? What's Yale like? 1331 01:03:50,260 --> 01:03:51,628 Beth... 1332 01:03:51,661 --> 01:03:53,964 Yale is the finest academic institution 1333 01:03:53,998 --> 01:03:55,165 In the country. 1334 01:03:55,199 --> 01:03:58,335 Nay, the world. 1335 01:03:58,368 --> 01:04:00,537 I consider myself to be one of the lucky few 1336 01:04:00,570 --> 01:04:01,972 In the field of English Literature. 1337 01:04:02,006 --> 01:04:04,074 To get to rub shoulders 1338 01:04:04,108 --> 01:04:06,543 With some of the greatest minds in our lifetime... 1339 01:04:06,576 --> 01:04:08,645 Horwitz, Bringard... 1340 01:04:08,678 --> 01:04:10,314 Whelan. Hmm! 1341 01:04:10,347 --> 01:04:11,982 All close colleagues of mine. 1342 01:04:12,016 --> 01:04:13,283 What about Slocumb and Leakey? 1343 01:04:15,052 --> 01:04:17,454 Ha! They're over at Grey. 1344 01:04:19,523 --> 01:04:21,325 Is the food good? 1345 01:04:21,358 --> 01:04:22,993 Heh. Yes. 1346 01:04:23,027 --> 01:04:26,496 The food at Yale is positively exquisite, Beth. 1347 01:04:28,032 --> 01:04:30,467 Beth, did you know that Charlie 1348 01:04:30,500 --> 01:04:33,003 Is one of the most popular teachers at Grey? 1349 01:04:33,037 --> 01:04:36,540 We don't talk about work much, to be honest. 1350 01:04:36,573 --> 01:04:38,976 We have a very... 1351 01:04:39,009 --> 01:04:41,111 Ahem. 1352 01:04:41,145 --> 01:04:42,646 Passionate relationship. 1353 01:04:44,048 --> 01:04:45,916 Passionate, eh? Ha ha ha! 1354 01:04:45,950 --> 01:04:48,318 Well, never underestimate the power of the flesh, right? 1355 01:04:48,352 --> 01:04:51,221 Heh! Yeah, I'll say. 1356 01:04:51,255 --> 01:04:53,958 So, tell us, Charlie... 1357 01:04:53,991 --> 01:04:56,626 What is it that makes a good teacher, 1358 01:04:56,660 --> 01:04:58,695 In your professional opinion? 1359 01:04:58,728 --> 01:05:00,697 Well, I think the most important thing 1360 01:05:00,730 --> 01:05:03,333 Is to never forget what it was like to be a student. 1361 01:05:03,367 --> 01:05:05,369 You know, I just try and picture myself 1362 01:05:05,402 --> 01:05:06,971 Out there in the classroom, 1363 01:05:07,004 --> 01:05:08,705 Staring up at this dumb guy at the front of the room. 1364 01:05:13,077 --> 01:05:14,378 What? 1365 01:05:14,411 --> 01:05:16,380 Um, I mean... 1366 01:05:16,413 --> 01:05:18,548 Why the hell should they care what I say? 1367 01:05:18,582 --> 01:05:20,550 I think you have to find a way in, 1368 01:05:20,584 --> 01:05:22,686 And, you know, make them laugh, challenge them, 1369 01:05:22,719 --> 01:05:25,222 Keep surprising them. 1370 01:05:25,255 --> 01:05:27,624 And, um, once you're in, 1371 01:05:27,657 --> 01:05:30,027 I think you'd better find a way to stay in. 1372 01:05:30,060 --> 01:05:33,030 I guess that's... what I think. 1373 01:05:33,063 --> 01:05:34,564 We have a slightly different approach. 1374 01:05:34,598 --> 01:05:36,300 I've never really felt that friendships 1375 01:05:36,333 --> 01:05:38,535 Between teacher and student are beneficial. 1376 01:05:38,568 --> 01:05:41,571 But obviously we're all entitled 1377 01:05:41,605 --> 01:05:43,040 To our own, uh... 1378 01:05:43,073 --> 01:05:45,409 Shall we say, style. 1379 01:05:45,442 --> 01:05:49,379 Warren, you haven't taught a class for three years. 1380 01:05:49,413 --> 01:05:52,216 Thank you for reminding me of that. That's true. 1381 01:05:52,249 --> 01:05:54,551 So, are you on sabbatical? 1382 01:05:54,584 --> 01:05:56,120 Yes, that's right. 1383 01:05:56,153 --> 01:05:58,255 That must be so cool. 1384 01:05:58,288 --> 01:06:00,024 Do you get high a lot? 1385 01:06:02,559 --> 01:06:04,428 Hmm, no. 1386 01:06:04,461 --> 01:06:06,330 No, I... I don't. 1387 01:06:11,301 --> 01:06:12,769 Heh. 1388 01:06:12,802 --> 01:06:15,072 Beth's... really nice. 1389 01:06:15,105 --> 01:06:16,740 Yeah. 1390 01:06:16,773 --> 01:06:18,708 Where'd you meet her? 1391 01:06:18,742 --> 01:06:21,211 We met at a, uh... 1392 01:06:21,245 --> 01:06:24,048 PBS thing. 1393 01:06:24,081 --> 01:06:26,183 We were volunteers. 1394 01:06:26,216 --> 01:06:28,718 Oh. That's sweet. 1395 01:06:28,752 --> 01:06:31,021 And how long have you been dating? 1396 01:06:31,055 --> 01:06:33,223 Not long. It's really not serious. 1397 01:06:33,257 --> 01:06:35,492 Oh. Charlie. That's awful. 1398 01:06:35,525 --> 01:06:37,661 No, it's the truth. 1399 01:06:37,694 --> 01:06:40,797 Well, she adores you. Trust me. 1400 01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:44,268 Warren... Warren seems pretty cool. 1401 01:06:44,301 --> 01:06:47,137 Yeah. Well, he's unique. 1402 01:06:47,171 --> 01:06:49,439 Yeah. 1403 01:06:49,473 --> 01:06:51,275 You know what? I really... 1404 01:06:51,308 --> 01:06:53,043 I liked what you said in there 1405 01:06:53,077 --> 01:06:54,644 About teaching. 1406 01:06:56,480 --> 01:06:59,583 Um, so, has it been going any better? 1407 01:06:59,616 --> 01:07:01,218 Yeah. You know, I still feel 1408 01:07:01,251 --> 01:07:03,520 A little bit like an imposter, you know? 1409 01:07:03,553 --> 01:07:05,189 But I tried what you told me. 1410 01:07:05,222 --> 01:07:06,556 Oh, yeah? Did it work? 1411 01:07:06,590 --> 01:07:08,258 It did, it did. Things have gotten 1412 01:07:08,292 --> 01:07:10,260 A lot more... relaxed around there. 1413 01:07:10,294 --> 01:07:13,063 That's good. I felt like it would. 1414 01:07:14,864 --> 01:07:17,301 Did you get this wine at Yale? 1415 01:07:17,334 --> 01:07:19,169 Yes, that's right. 1416 01:07:19,203 --> 01:07:20,804 It's really good. 1417 01:07:20,837 --> 01:07:22,272 Well... 1418 01:07:22,306 --> 01:07:24,841 I guess that's it. 1419 01:07:24,874 --> 01:07:26,810 Thanks for letting me give a hand. 1420 01:07:26,843 --> 01:07:28,612 Well, thank you for helping me. No... 1421 01:07:28,645 --> 01:07:30,114 No, listen... 1422 01:07:30,147 --> 01:07:32,449 Beth's really lucky. 1423 01:07:39,689 --> 01:07:41,325 Oh, goddamn. 1424 01:07:41,358 --> 01:07:44,161 That got me so hot. 1425 01:07:44,194 --> 01:07:46,330 It was like role-play. 1426 01:07:48,398 --> 01:07:50,634 You up for some fun tonight, Professor? 1427 01:07:50,667 --> 01:07:53,303 Me? Oh, no, thanks. 1428 01:07:53,337 --> 01:07:55,239 No? What are you, gay or something? 1429 01:07:55,272 --> 01:07:58,108 God, she is hotter than a firecracker right now. 1430 01:07:59,609 --> 01:08:02,846 I'm bi... curious. 1431 01:08:02,879 --> 01:08:05,549 So... 1432 01:08:18,528 --> 01:08:19,863 You are so freakin' hot. 1433 01:08:38,915 --> 01:08:41,551 Here you go. 1434 01:08:41,585 --> 01:08:43,353 Well, thanks a lot, you two. 1435 01:08:43,387 --> 01:08:46,223 I, uh, I think that worked out really well. 1436 01:08:46,256 --> 01:08:47,724 Fuck you, pervert. 1437 01:08:59,569 --> 01:09:03,273 No. No, you're responsible. 1438 01:09:03,307 --> 01:09:05,175 I mean, how can we trust you? 1439 01:09:05,209 --> 01:09:07,744 What do you people do? You know what? 1440 01:09:07,777 --> 01:09:09,379 I need to call you back. 1441 01:09:09,413 --> 01:09:11,548 I see you, jackass! 1442 01:09:11,581 --> 01:09:13,417 God! You're such a loser. 1443 01:09:13,450 --> 01:09:15,151 Hey, Margaret. Sorry, I didn't see you. 1444 01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:18,722 Dad escaped. What? 1445 01:09:18,755 --> 01:09:20,524 They called me two hours ago. 1446 01:09:20,557 --> 01:09:22,392 He didn't show up to water aerobics, and they got worried. 1447 01:09:22,426 --> 01:09:23,960 Why didn't they call me? 1448 01:09:23,993 --> 01:09:25,795 They tried, but you never answer your phone. 1449 01:09:25,829 --> 01:09:27,864 And God forbid you get a cell phone. 1450 01:09:31,701 --> 01:09:33,537 He was doing so well. 1451 01:09:33,570 --> 01:09:35,305 He's fine, Margaret. 1452 01:09:35,339 --> 01:09:36,673 No, he disappeared again, Charlie! 1453 01:09:36,706 --> 01:09:38,242 He's not fine! 1454 01:09:38,275 --> 01:09:39,509 Okay. 1455 01:09:40,877 --> 01:09:42,246 He has these episodes, 1456 01:09:42,279 --> 01:09:43,647 And he doesn't know where he is. 1457 01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:45,415 He could be in danger. 1458 01:09:54,491 --> 01:09:56,192 Ohh. 1459 01:09:58,928 --> 01:10:00,430 I have total respect 1460 01:10:00,464 --> 01:10:02,766 For your fugitive status, Professor Thurber. 1461 01:10:02,799 --> 01:10:05,602 Well, I appreciate that, Sasquatch. 1462 01:10:05,635 --> 01:10:07,671 I've been in your shoes... 1463 01:10:07,704 --> 01:10:09,706 Tons of times. 1464 01:10:09,739 --> 01:10:13,477 Runnin' from the man, on the lam. 1465 01:10:13,510 --> 01:10:16,713 Sasquatch, do you think... 1466 01:10:16,746 --> 01:10:18,782 Everything's all right with Charlie? 1467 01:10:18,815 --> 01:10:20,317 Yeah. 1468 01:10:20,350 --> 01:10:22,652 You did a good job, Professor. 1469 01:10:22,686 --> 01:10:25,322 Charlie's got his head on straight. 1470 01:10:26,856 --> 01:10:29,326 I thought when I got to be this age, 1471 01:10:29,359 --> 01:10:31,495 Things would get easier. 1472 01:10:31,528 --> 01:10:34,298 But everything just gets more absurd. 1473 01:10:37,334 --> 01:10:39,403 Are you screwing my daughter? 1474 01:10:45,709 --> 01:10:47,043 Heh. 1475 01:10:47,076 --> 01:10:48,478 Heh. 1476 01:10:53,049 --> 01:10:54,851 It's not arbitrary. 1477 01:10:56,386 --> 01:10:58,855 We try to make a choice 1478 01:10:58,888 --> 01:11:00,557 Where he might go in. 1479 01:11:00,590 --> 01:11:03,293 What you look for is... 1480 01:11:03,327 --> 01:11:05,295 An oddly-broken branch. 1481 01:11:05,329 --> 01:11:06,496 Aha. 1482 01:11:06,530 --> 01:11:09,933 Oh, my God. 1483 01:11:09,966 --> 01:11:13,002 The Bigfoot Club? 1484 01:11:18,442 --> 01:11:20,644 What the hell is going on around here? 1485 01:11:20,677 --> 01:11:23,913 We've been looking for you for hours, Dad. 1486 01:11:23,947 --> 01:11:26,082 Jay, did you do this? 1487 01:11:26,115 --> 01:11:28,051 Oh, relax, Margaret. 1488 01:11:28,084 --> 01:11:29,919 Sasquatch had nothing to do with it. 1489 01:11:29,953 --> 01:11:31,521 I ran into them. 1490 01:11:31,555 --> 01:11:33,390 We had a nice little expedition. 1491 01:11:33,423 --> 01:11:35,925 He's telling the truth, I swear. 1492 01:11:35,959 --> 01:11:38,562 Dad, you can't leave like that. 1493 01:11:38,595 --> 01:11:40,930 I'm not a child, Margaret. 1494 01:11:40,964 --> 01:11:42,532 What have you been doing all day? 1495 01:11:42,566 --> 01:11:44,100 Where have you been? Do you know how worried we've been? 1496 01:11:44,133 --> 01:11:45,635 I took a damn walk! 1497 01:11:45,669 --> 01:11:47,103 Dad, she's just trying to help. 1498 01:11:47,136 --> 01:11:48,705 Come on. It's okay. 1499 01:11:50,039 --> 01:11:52,409 Well, guys, so long. 1500 01:11:55,412 --> 01:11:57,080 See you, Bill. 1501 01:11:57,113 --> 01:11:58,882 He seems good. 1502 01:11:58,915 --> 01:12:00,350 Right? 1503 01:12:00,384 --> 01:12:01,451 Charlie. Yeah. 1504 01:12:01,485 --> 01:12:03,052 This isn't funny. 1505 01:12:27,644 --> 01:12:30,480 Dad... you can't do that again. 1506 01:12:30,514 --> 01:12:31,781 If you want to take a walk, 1507 01:12:31,815 --> 01:12:33,116 You have to tell somebody. 1508 01:12:36,152 --> 01:12:38,422 - Wait here. - Okay. 1509 01:12:51,835 --> 01:12:53,803 Where'd you get that? 1510 01:12:53,837 --> 01:12:55,805 Sasquatch gave it to me, free. 1511 01:12:55,839 --> 01:12:58,374 Told me to pass it out on the floor. 1512 01:13:01,511 --> 01:13:02,879 See that, Charlie? 1513 01:13:02,912 --> 01:13:04,881 Right there? 1514 01:13:04,914 --> 01:13:07,984 That's why she's not a teacher. 1515 01:13:08,017 --> 01:13:09,653 Oh, she wouldn't last a day. 1516 01:13:11,220 --> 01:13:14,390 Yeah. You're different. 1517 01:13:16,660 --> 01:13:18,695 Oh, Christ. 1518 01:13:18,728 --> 01:13:20,497 You got it all? 1519 01:13:20,530 --> 01:13:21,865 Yeah. 1520 01:14:19,556 --> 01:14:21,858 Dr. Leakey, good news. 1521 01:14:21,891 --> 01:14:24,193 About your article, I assume? Yep. 1522 01:14:24,227 --> 01:14:26,262 East Dubuque Review. 1523 01:14:26,295 --> 01:14:28,498 I can't say I've ever heard of it, 1524 01:14:28,532 --> 01:14:30,700 But I'm sure it's quite... competitive. 1525 01:14:30,734 --> 01:14:32,936 Oh, yeah. Now... 1526 01:14:32,969 --> 01:14:34,871 Ooh! Oh, Charlie, look here. 1527 01:14:34,904 --> 01:14:36,573 This is interesting. 1528 01:14:36,606 --> 01:14:38,608 "However, due to the fact 1529 01:14:38,642 --> 01:14:41,911 "That our magazine is closing its doors in June, 1530 01:14:41,945 --> 01:14:44,247 "We can only offer you publication 1531 01:14:44,280 --> 01:14:46,282 "On our sister website... 1532 01:14:46,315 --> 01:14:49,753 Eastdubuquerecreation.org." 1533 01:14:49,786 --> 01:14:51,788 Shit. 1534 01:14:51,821 --> 01:14:53,590 Congratulations, Charlie. 1535 01:14:53,623 --> 01:14:55,258 I'm sure this means the website 1536 01:14:55,291 --> 01:14:57,260 Will get many more hits. 1537 01:15:02,666 --> 01:15:05,935 I can't believe this is our last class together. 1538 01:15:05,969 --> 01:15:08,972 Well, I guess we ought to get started, huh? 1539 01:15:09,005 --> 01:15:10,940 Professor Thurber, we didn't know what to do, 1540 01:15:10,974 --> 01:15:12,542 But we wanted to get you a gift, 1541 01:15:12,576 --> 01:15:15,044 Since you've been such a great teacher this year. 1542 01:15:15,078 --> 01:15:17,280 Thanks. You didn't have to do that. 1543 01:15:17,313 --> 01:15:18,982 We wanted to. 1544 01:15:19,015 --> 01:15:21,284 Well, thank you. 1545 01:15:21,317 --> 01:15:23,086 Let's see here. 1546 01:15:33,597 --> 01:15:36,132 Well... 1547 01:15:36,165 --> 01:15:38,702 We just wanted you to remember us. 1548 01:15:40,704 --> 01:15:42,639 Thanks, guys. 1549 01:15:42,672 --> 01:15:45,842 Thanks. This really means a lot. 1550 01:16:00,657 --> 01:16:03,359 Well, I find out about tenure tomorrow, Dad. 1551 01:16:03,392 --> 01:16:05,361 So... 1552 01:16:05,394 --> 01:16:08,064 The big day is finally here, eh? 1553 01:16:08,097 --> 01:16:10,099 Is there gonna be some kind of a party? 1554 01:16:10,133 --> 01:16:11,735 I'm available. 1555 01:16:13,903 --> 01:16:15,705 Well, I guess that all depends 1556 01:16:15,739 --> 01:16:17,306 On how it turns out. 1557 01:16:25,014 --> 01:16:26,683 Look... 1558 01:16:26,716 --> 01:16:29,318 If you don't get tenure, you move on. 1559 01:16:29,352 --> 01:16:30,920 That's all. 1560 01:16:30,954 --> 01:16:32,989 Grey College... 1561 01:16:33,022 --> 01:16:35,358 Not so special, right? 1562 01:16:35,391 --> 01:16:37,727 And if you do get it, that's fantastic. 1563 01:16:37,761 --> 01:16:39,729 You certainly deserve it. 1564 01:16:42,799 --> 01:16:45,669 The point is, you're a teacher, Charlie. 1565 01:16:45,702 --> 01:16:48,638 That's what you do best. 1566 01:16:48,672 --> 01:16:50,373 Anywhere you go in life, 1567 01:16:50,406 --> 01:16:52,241 There's always gonna be a classroom 1568 01:16:52,275 --> 01:16:54,077 Full of kids who need you. 1569 01:16:54,110 --> 01:16:56,212 I promise you that. 1570 01:16:59,916 --> 01:17:01,718 * Here we go again 1571 01:17:01,751 --> 01:17:03,687 * It's Monday at last 1572 01:17:03,720 --> 01:17:05,889 * He's heading for the Waterloo line * 1573 01:17:05,922 --> 01:17:07,423 * To catch the 8am fast 1574 01:17:07,456 --> 01:17:09,793 * It's usually dead on time 1575 01:17:09,826 --> 01:17:13,029 * Hope it isn't late, got to be there by nine * 1576 01:17:14,764 --> 01:17:17,701 * Pinstriped suit, clean shirt and tie * 1577 01:17:17,734 --> 01:17:19,769 * Stops off at the corner shop * 1578 01:17:19,803 --> 01:17:21,705 * To buy the Times... * 1579 01:17:21,738 --> 01:17:24,741 I've got a real good feeling about this, man. 1580 01:17:24,774 --> 01:17:26,209 Yeah. 1581 01:17:30,780 --> 01:17:32,716 It's not the end of the world. 1582 01:17:32,749 --> 01:17:34,918 It's only tenure. 1583 01:17:34,951 --> 01:17:37,653 Right? Right. 1584 01:17:43,727 --> 01:17:45,695 Good luck, man. Thanks. 1585 01:17:47,831 --> 01:17:49,332 Okay. 1586 01:17:53,102 --> 01:17:55,905 I'm gonna cut right to the chase here, Charlie. 1587 01:17:55,939 --> 01:17:58,975 Your tenure vote was three to three... a tie. 1588 01:17:59,008 --> 01:18:01,277 And in cases of a tie, 1589 01:18:01,310 --> 01:18:05,114 The Dean acts as the deciding vote. 1590 01:18:05,148 --> 01:18:07,917 I've been watching you closely, Charlie, 1591 01:18:07,951 --> 01:18:11,788 And I must say you've been busy this semester. 1592 01:18:11,821 --> 01:18:14,858 Vandalizing my next-door neighbor's house was... 1593 01:18:14,891 --> 01:18:17,426 An unorthodox beginning 1594 01:18:17,460 --> 01:18:19,295 To your tenure pursuits. 1595 01:18:19,328 --> 01:18:22,365 And can you also explain your supposed connection 1596 01:18:22,398 --> 01:18:26,169 To the sale of an illegal herbal erection cream on campus? 1597 01:18:26,202 --> 01:18:27,503 Cream? 1598 01:18:27,536 --> 01:18:30,073 And what about your publishing record at Grey? 1599 01:18:30,106 --> 01:18:31,841 It's virtually nonexistent, 1600 01:18:31,875 --> 01:18:34,811 Save for some obscure online journal. 1601 01:18:34,844 --> 01:18:36,479 And to top things off, 1602 01:18:36,512 --> 01:18:40,083 You have been accused of various sanitary lapses 1603 01:18:40,116 --> 01:18:41,751 By members of the faculty. 1604 01:18:41,785 --> 01:18:44,053 If I can address that, uh... 1605 01:18:44,087 --> 01:18:45,488 I didn't do it, 1606 01:18:45,521 --> 01:18:47,523 As I stated earlier. 1607 01:18:47,556 --> 01:18:49,058 Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. 1608 01:18:49,092 --> 01:18:50,894 On paper, you are quite simply 1609 01:18:50,927 --> 01:18:53,162 The worst candidate for tenure I have ever seen. 1610 01:18:53,196 --> 01:18:55,364 The worst? 1611 01:18:55,398 --> 01:18:57,801 But in coming to my tiebreaking decision, 1612 01:18:57,834 --> 01:18:59,535 I came across these... 1613 01:18:59,568 --> 01:19:02,538 Your student evaluation forms. 1614 01:19:02,571 --> 01:19:05,842 Your students love you, Charlie. 1615 01:19:05,875 --> 01:19:10,079 But I'm afraid that's simply not enough. 1616 01:19:10,113 --> 01:19:14,550 However, I'm going to take an unprecedented step 1617 01:19:14,583 --> 01:19:16,485 In this matter. 1618 01:19:16,519 --> 01:19:18,521 I am prepared to offer you tenure, 1619 01:19:18,554 --> 01:19:20,824 On a strictly probationary basis, 1620 01:19:20,857 --> 01:19:22,792 For a period of one year. 1621 01:19:22,826 --> 01:19:25,494 But your teaching duties will be severely cut back. 1622 01:19:25,528 --> 01:19:27,897 Taking you out of the classroom, we believe, 1623 01:19:27,931 --> 01:19:29,799 Will give you ample time 1624 01:19:29,833 --> 01:19:32,468 To focus on your own research and writing. 1625 01:19:32,501 --> 01:19:34,838 Now, then... 1626 01:19:34,871 --> 01:19:37,106 What say you? 1627 01:20:40,269 --> 01:20:41,437 See you, Bill. 1628 01:20:41,470 --> 01:20:43,006 Yeah, see you. 1629 01:20:46,342 --> 01:20:48,311 What the hell's going on here? 1630 01:20:49,645 --> 01:20:51,314 I'm checking you out. 1631 01:20:51,347 --> 01:20:53,016 What? 1632 01:20:53,049 --> 01:20:55,885 Yeah, you're comin' to live with me. 1633 01:20:55,919 --> 01:20:57,887 Are you serious? 1634 01:20:57,921 --> 01:20:59,322 Yeah. 1635 01:21:00,924 --> 01:21:03,259 You don't belong here, Dad. 1636 01:21:06,362 --> 01:21:08,364 Heh. 1637 01:21:08,397 --> 01:21:10,934 That's what I've been trying to tell you. 1638 01:21:12,101 --> 01:21:13,536 Let's go. 1639 01:21:41,430 --> 01:21:43,699 What the Christ, Charlie? 1640 01:21:43,732 --> 01:21:45,634 Oh, yeah. 1641 01:21:46,970 --> 01:21:49,072 Wait here a sec, okay? 1642 01:21:59,482 --> 01:22:01,517 Uh, excuse me. 1643 01:22:01,550 --> 01:22:03,152 Just a quick announcement. 1644 01:22:03,186 --> 01:22:05,388 There are 200 bottles of Herb-Erect 1645 01:22:05,421 --> 01:22:07,023 In the parking lot. 1646 01:22:07,056 --> 01:22:10,059 Free of charge. First come, first served. 1647 01:22:12,328 --> 01:22:14,563 B-9? 1648 01:22:14,597 --> 01:22:16,532 That's B-9. 1649 01:22:43,026 --> 01:22:44,627 Come here, you. 1650 01:22:44,660 --> 01:22:45,995 Hey. 1651 01:22:46,029 --> 01:22:47,496 I'm proud of you. 1652 01:22:47,530 --> 01:22:49,632 You made the right decision, buddy. 1653 01:22:49,665 --> 01:22:52,068 Thanks, Jay. Thank you. 1654 01:22:52,101 --> 01:22:54,470 Dude, do you think I can keep this mug? 1655 01:22:54,503 --> 01:22:57,006 I know it was a gift, but I was... 1656 01:22:57,040 --> 01:22:58,774 I, uh... Oh, hold on a second. 1657 01:22:58,807 --> 01:23:00,443 Sorry. Excuse me. 1658 01:23:00,476 --> 01:23:02,778 Hi. Hi. 1659 01:23:02,811 --> 01:23:04,247 Congratulations, Charlie. 1660 01:23:04,280 --> 01:23:05,614 Thank you. 1661 01:23:05,648 --> 01:23:07,050 I'm sorry I'm late. 1662 01:23:07,083 --> 01:23:09,185 No, I'm really glad you came. 1663 01:23:09,218 --> 01:23:12,088 Um, can I get you something? Yeah. 1664 01:23:12,121 --> 01:23:13,089 Good to see you. 1665 01:23:13,122 --> 01:23:14,423 Good to see you, too. 1666 01:23:16,825 --> 01:23:19,628 So... are you ever gonna introduce me 1667 01:23:19,662 --> 01:23:20,763 To your girlfriend? 1668 01:23:20,796 --> 01:23:23,166 Oh, this isn't my girlfriend, Dad. 1669 01:23:23,199 --> 01:23:25,134 This is Elaine Grasso. 1670 01:23:25,168 --> 01:23:26,235 Hi. 1671 01:23:26,269 --> 01:23:27,470 Hi. 1672 01:23:27,503 --> 01:23:29,004 You like my son? 1673 01:23:30,106 --> 01:23:31,274 Yes. 1674 01:23:31,307 --> 01:23:32,608 Are you single? 1675 01:23:34,110 --> 01:23:35,644 Yes. Heh. 1676 01:23:35,678 --> 01:23:38,814 Really? What about Warren? 1677 01:23:38,847 --> 01:23:41,350 I'm single. 1678 01:23:41,384 --> 01:23:43,252 Well, then, it's settled. 1679 01:23:43,286 --> 01:23:45,254 I hope to see you again, Elaine. 1680 01:23:45,288 --> 01:23:47,056 Me, too. 1681 01:23:50,459 --> 01:23:53,062 Excuse me. 1682 01:23:53,096 --> 01:23:55,131 Not at all. 1683 01:23:55,164 --> 01:23:58,401 So, what happened to Warren? 1684 01:23:58,434 --> 01:24:00,169 Um, honestly, 1685 01:24:00,203 --> 01:24:02,071 I think Warren happened to Warren. 1686 01:24:02,105 --> 01:24:03,706 Yeah. Heh. 1687 01:24:05,241 --> 01:24:06,642 Well, don't worry,. 1688 01:24:06,675 --> 01:24:09,578 Grey College is chock full of eligible bachelors. 1689 01:24:09,612 --> 01:24:11,214 Hmm. 1690 01:24:12,348 --> 01:24:13,849 Well... 1691 01:24:13,882 --> 01:24:16,152 I'm not worried. 1692 01:24:48,217 --> 01:24:50,353 Good morning. I'm Charlie Thurber. 1693 01:24:50,386 --> 01:24:52,488 I'm your new English teacher. 1694 01:24:52,521 --> 01:24:54,557 I, uh, I used to teach at Grey College 1695 01:24:54,590 --> 01:24:56,225 Down the road. 1696 01:24:56,259 --> 01:24:57,660 So, why do you want to teach us? 1697 01:24:59,228 --> 01:25:01,364 Well, uh... 1698 01:25:01,397 --> 01:25:02,865 I don't know. 1699 01:25:02,898 --> 01:25:04,733 It's the only thing I'm good at. 1700 01:25:06,169 --> 01:25:07,603 No, it really is. 1701 01:25:07,636 --> 01:25:09,138 So... 1702 01:26:27,783 --> 01:26:30,653 * When the cowboy sings 1703 01:26:32,321 --> 01:26:35,258 * When the Saturn rings 1704 01:26:36,792 --> 01:26:39,562 * When the ginger snaps 1705 01:26:41,330 --> 01:26:44,233 * When the thunder claps 1706 01:26:45,534 --> 01:26:47,836 * You can cut my hair 1707 01:26:47,870 --> 01:26:49,738 * You can fill my cup 1708 01:26:49,772 --> 01:26:51,974 * You can tell me lies 1709 01:26:52,007 --> 01:26:54,410 * You can make it up 1710 01:26:54,443 --> 01:26:59,948 * We're gonna make it after all * 1711 01:27:03,552 --> 01:27:07,490 * I don't need to know 1712 01:27:07,523 --> 01:27:10,225 * Who's right or wrong 1713 01:27:12,495 --> 01:27:14,263 * It's not a crime 1714 01:27:14,297 --> 01:27:17,232 * To change your mind 1715 01:27:20,836 --> 01:27:23,506 * When the kitchen sinks 1716 01:27:25,040 --> 01:27:28,243 * When the sugar winks 1717 01:27:29,645 --> 01:27:32,748 * When the doctor calls 1718 01:27:34,082 --> 01:27:37,353 * When Niagara falls 1719 01:27:38,587 --> 01:27:40,623 * I'm a wayward Tom 1720 01:27:40,656 --> 01:27:42,958 * I'm a silver streak 1721 01:27:42,991 --> 01:27:45,361 * And the walls have ears 1722 01:27:45,394 --> 01:27:47,062 * But the walls don't speak 1723 01:27:47,095 --> 01:27:52,801 * We're gonna make it after all * 1724 01:27:56,572 --> 01:28:00,376 * I don't need to know 1725 01:28:00,409 --> 01:28:03,312 * who's right or wrong 1726 01:28:05,448 --> 01:28:07,316 * It's not a crime 1727 01:28:07,350 --> 01:28:10,386 * To change your mind 1728 01:28:13,422 --> 01:28:16,325 * Don't need to know 1729 01:28:17,860 --> 01:28:20,963 * Don't need to know 1730 01:28:22,431 --> 01:28:25,334 * Don't need to know 1731 01:28:26,702 --> 01:28:29,772 * Don't need to know 1732 01:28:31,374 --> 01:28:34,309 * Don't need to know 1733 01:28:35,511 --> 01:28:38,614 * Don't need to know 1734 01:28:40,082 --> 01:28:44,420 * Don't need to know 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.moviesubtitles.org