1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:09,150 Tiptoed around 2 00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:12,701 I tried to play it cool My head in... 3 00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:16,746 Okay, girls. It's February 13th. Get ready for some weepy callers. 4 00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:18,832 Valentine's Day is a trigger for straight people. 5 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,334 What time is our lunch tomorrow? 6 00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:23,920 Uh, noon. At the fancy margarita place. 7 00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:26,923 Wait, you two still do your Valentine's Day drunk lunch? 8 00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:29,009 Yeah, duh. We've been doing it since middle school. 9 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,011 What about Noah and Dr. Andy? 10 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,304 Mm, Noah and I will probably have a low-key dinner. 11 00:00:33,324 --> 00:00:35,473 I mean, I'm not really a Valentine's Day girl. 12 00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:37,183 See, I never thought I was, 13 00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:40,729 but now that I'm with Dr. Andy, I am, like, so into it. 14 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:43,273 It's, like, maybe just about being with the right person. 15 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,442 Okay, you have to stop calling him Dr. Andy. 16 00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,021 Yeah, I can't. 17 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:51,406 It's like someone asking you to start calling your teacher by their first name. 18 00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,236 You can't say the word Andy? 19 00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:55,744 Doc... Andy. 20 00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:57,245 - Mm. - Okay. 21 00:00:57,265 --> 00:01:00,874 And maybe just stop having sex dreams about your boyfriend's dad, okay? 22 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,996 - Yeah, sure. I'll try. - Valid. 23 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,670 Okay, next we have Melanie. 24 00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:09,049 My question is for Joanne. I heard your boyfriend on the podcast. 25 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,676 Noah's Corner? That's what he's been calling it. 26 00:01:11,696 --> 00:01:12,594 I know, gross. 27 00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,262 Whatever. I just cannot believe 28 00:01:14,282 --> 00:01:17,015 that The Prophet turned out to be Noah fucking Roklov. 29 00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,600 - Ooh! - I dated him years ago... 30 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:19,768 I'll bleep the last name. 31 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:21,352 - Shh! - It did not end well. 32 00:01:21,372 --> 00:01:23,313 He acted like he was obsessed with me. 33 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:26,524 When I referred to him as my boyfriend, he dumped me out of nowhere. 34 00:01:26,544 --> 00:01:29,444 Oh shit. That's a major red flag, no? 35 00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:31,988 He's one of those guys whose MO is being romantic 36 00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:34,115 so you feel like you have a special connection 37 00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:36,826 when, really, I could have been literally anyone. 38 00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:39,162 It's just how he is with everyone he dates. 39 00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:41,498 Wow, Melanie, you're getting a lot off your chest. 40 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:44,667 I mean, Melanie, that is awful, okay? 41 00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:48,630 I am so sorry that happened to you. Some guys are just such assholes. 42 00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,882 So if you could walk us back to the beginning 43 00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:52,300 and give us a play-by-play-- 44 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:55,345 - She's said enough. Hang up. - We shouldn't hang up on a listener. 45 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,387 She's not done. 46 00:01:56,407 --> 00:01:57,806 - Stop. Give it... - What? 47 00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,766 - Joanne. - She's still on the phone! 48 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,101 - Hello? - Ow! 49 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,185 We're cutting that. 50 00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:04,521 Oh my God! You literally broke my finger. 51 00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,815 Ow! And you know what? Fuck you at the same time. 52 00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,900 Literally, I can't move it now. 53 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:11,528 Oh God. And you already have carpal tunnel. 54 00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:14,030 Part of me was like, did this girl actually date Noah, 55 00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:15,448 or was she just stalking him? 56 00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,033 - Huh. - I mean, it was insane. 57 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:20,078 No, I mean, Melanie and I did date, but it was a long time ago. 58 00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,658 It was pretty casual. 59 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:26,000 Right. Well, like I thought, her version was inaccurate. 60 00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:28,837 Yeah. She always thought we were more serious than I did 61 00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,875 just 'cause I got her flowers on her birthday. 62 00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:33,753 You bought flowers on her birthday? 63 00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,548 I buy every woman in my life flowers on their birthday. 64 00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:41,970 What else did you do that made her think it was serious? 65 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,640 I visited her mom in the hospital. 66 00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:47,605 I'm a rabbi! 67 00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:48,643 Wha... 68 00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:50,770 Okay, anything else? 69 00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:54,195 I took her to my cousin's wedding, but it was a small thing. 70 00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:55,655 It was a last-ditch effort to see-- 71 00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:58,199 She was your date to an intimate family wedding? 72 00:02:58,219 --> 00:02:59,821 I ended things right after. 73 00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:04,284 But you can see how she might've been blindsided by that. Yes? 74 00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:09,711 Yeah, I do. I do now. But, you know, it was a long time ago. 75 00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:13,459 I was, uh, young and dumb and made some mistakes. 76 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,505 What about your other girlfriends, like Rebecca? 77 00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:22,140 From what I understand, she felt pretty blindsided as well. 78 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:26,436 Joanne, this is crazy. Come on. I'm a good boyfriend. You know that. 79 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:29,355 I know. You're the best boyfriend. 80 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:32,025 Until you say you were never their boyfriend at all. 81 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:35,737 Melanie literally thought everything I did meant I was her serious boyfriend 82 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:38,948 when I was just doing the things that you are supposed to do 83 00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,653 when you're dating someone. 84 00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:44,157 I think you need to reach out to Rebecca. 85 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:46,831 What? Why? 86 00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:49,876 Because this girl made it seem like you were a walking red flag, Noah, 87 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:52,503 and I don't like the feeling that I'm having right now. 88 00:03:52,523 --> 00:03:55,960 And if this is a relationship pattern of yours, I need... 89 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:58,593 I don't know. I think you should sit with Rebecca, 90 00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:01,721 hear her side of the story, and learn from it 91 00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:05,178 so that you don't one day do to me what you did to them. 92 00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:12,602 Oh, okay. If it's that important to you, 93 00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:13,900 I will do it. 94 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,313 Thank you. 95 00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:17,737 Will you do it now so we can get it over with? 96 00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:20,615 I just spent three hours on the phone with my mother. 97 00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:23,076 - Don't make me do it. - I'm not gonna feel right until we... 98 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,452 Okay, I'll do it right now. 99 00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:25,740 Thank you. 100 00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:38,049 So, yeah, I mean, I think we were both aware 101 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,718 that we had some... some major issues, 102 00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:43,096 but we never did a proper post-mortem, 103 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:46,140 so if there's anything you wanna get off your chest or ask me, 104 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,934 I wanna give you the space. 105 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:50,311 Okay, so, yeah... 106 00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:53,815 Was definitely not aware that we were having major issues. 107 00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,775 - Okay. - You named our unborn children. 108 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,944 Referred to me as your forever family. 109 00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,113 We booked a non-refundable trip to Portugal 110 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,532 two weeks before you broke up with me. 111 00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:06,160 I had zero idea that you were having any doubts. 112 00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:09,914 Noah, you were always so romantic and... and lovey-dovey with me. 113 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:11,541 Listen, you were my girlfriend. 114 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:14,085 I didn't know what was gonna happen between us. 115 00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:18,042 I didn't know for sure, so, you know, I didn't wanna hurt your feelings. 116 00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,467 You broke up with me. 117 00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:23,970 You hurt my feelings. 118 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,133 Okay. 119 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,183 I don't know what to say. I really am sorry. 120 00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:32,186 I tried really hard to be a good boyfriend to you, 121 00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:34,183 and, honestly, I think I was. 122 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:37,854 I'm sure you do. 123 00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:53,703 Oh my God. 124 00:05:57,231 --> 00:05:59,047 Happy Valentine's Day, my love. 125 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:03,551 Oh, baby! Happy Valentine's Day! 126 00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:06,804 Oh God! Is this "Kiss From a Rose"? 127 00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:09,682 The song that you wish you lost your virginity to. Yes. 128 00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:12,643 And my secret favorite meal. 129 00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:14,604 I mean, come on. 130 00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:20,068 There's more. There's a little secret at the... bottom of one of these scoops. 131 00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:21,772 Okay. 132 00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:24,822 Where's this secret? 133 00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:26,068 - Oh. - There it is. 134 00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:30,536 Is this the start to a scavenger hunt? 135 00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:34,332 I mean, I gotta say, I get really turned off by, like, riddles and puns. 136 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:36,245 That's the key to my house. 137 00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:40,505 - Uh... - Morgan, I want you to move in with me. 138 00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:42,835 I can't get enough of you. 139 00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:44,754 Oh. Wha... 140 00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:49,263 I... can't get enough of you either, but I just... 141 00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:51,974 Have we been together long enough? Do we even really know each other? 142 00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:53,768 - Yeah. - Those are valid questions. 143 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:56,062 Which is why you don't have to answer today. 144 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,981 I just want you to know this is where I'm at, 145 00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:01,062 and there's so much more to this beautiful day, 146 00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:04,445 for this beautiful woman named Morgan. 147 00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:05,822 Oh my God. 148 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:09,242 Yeah, we're fine, you know? She made her points, and I heard her. 149 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,743 God, she's so evolved. 150 00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:14,288 I wish all my exes were dead, or at least in bad marriages, you know? 151 00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:16,541 So did you guys dissect the relationship or-- 152 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:18,459 It's our first Valentine's Day together. 153 00:07:18,479 --> 00:07:21,838 I don't wanna talk about Rebecca, okay? Got a lot of surprises for you. 154 00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,923 Okay, fine, if you have surprises. 155 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:26,467 I'm looking forward to spending the whole day together. 156 00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:27,672 Me too. 157 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:31,597 I am gonna have lunch with Morgan, so I thought we would do a dinner thing? 158 00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:34,100 Okay, I did have a lunch plan. 159 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:37,812 We were gonna take a pasta-making class at Osteria Mozza. 160 00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:39,522 - Oh! - You love pasta. 161 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:42,108 I do love pasta, and I love Mozza. 162 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,902 Um, drunk lunch is kind of an annual thing. 163 00:07:44,922 --> 00:07:47,155 Um, maybe we could invite Morgan too. 164 00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:50,278 Maybe pasta and wine can serve as drunk lunch this year. 165 00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:52,905 - I'll check the app, see if there's room. - Okay. 166 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,872 - You ready to do presents? - Yes, I wanna go first. 167 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,368 Oh, okay, hit me. 168 00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:02,336 - Ooh! - It's big. 169 00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:04,630 - What could this be? - Dig in, boy. 170 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:07,341 All right. I like to read the card first. 171 00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:08,754 Okay, it's right there. 172 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:12,216 Okay. 173 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,100 Holy shit. 174 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,269 Come on! 175 00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:21,564 This was my favorite movie growing up. I always wanted this poster. 176 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:24,484 My mom would never let me have it. She said it didn't go with my room. 177 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:28,029 I know. I texted the Matzah Ballers for ideas, and it all came together. 178 00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:30,031 Gosh. Mm. 179 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:31,949 - I love it. Thank you. - Yeah. 180 00:08:31,969 --> 00:08:33,904 - You ready for yours? - Oh yeah! 181 00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:38,868 - Did Morgan help you? - I don't need any help. 182 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:40,995 Oh, okay. 183 00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:44,081 For you. 184 00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:46,417 Hold on. There's a card. 185 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,128 - Gotta read the card. - Okay. 186 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:54,258 - Oh, wow! You wrote me an entire card. - Yeah. 187 00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:57,303 Gonna read it as soon as I open it. 188 00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:05,900 - Do you like it? - It's gorgeous. 189 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,402 It's a Jennifer Meyer. Apparently, it's a whole thing. 190 00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:10,071 It's definitely a thing, yeah. 191 00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:11,322 Okay, try it on. 192 00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:13,903 Uh, okay. Okay. 193 00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:16,619 Aw. 194 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,407 It looks beautiful. 195 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:22,662 What do you think, Shaq? 196 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,585 Look familiar? 197 00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:26,963 Hold on. I can't move. I'm being painted. 198 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:29,006 Another Dr. Andy Valentine's Day gift. 199 00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:31,008 Excuse me, could I please have a minute? 200 00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:32,051 Thank you. 201 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,262 Thank you, I appreciate it. Okay. 202 00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:35,383 Look. 203 00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:37,848 It's the same necklace. 204 00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:39,809 The same exact one that Rebecca has. 205 00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,769 Oh fuck. Really? 206 00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:44,605 I know every photo of her that exists on the Internet, 207 00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:48,776 and this necklace with her name on it is in her LinkedIn profile. 208 00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:50,903 Oh my God, Noah. Rookie move. 209 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:54,073 Does he get all his girlfriends the same gift for Valentine's Day? 210 00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:56,450 I mean, at least it's real gold, right? 211 00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:58,828 No, Morgan, you don't get it. 212 00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:03,457 For me, this relationship is special and unique, 213 00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:06,002 and I thought it was for him too. 214 00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:08,963 He's always saying how different I am than anyone else he's dated, 215 00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:12,967 but apparently, I'm just the latest Melanie or Rebecca. 216 00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:16,220 How would I even know, since he treats us all exactly the same? 217 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,806 Okay. Well, what are you gonna do? 218 00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:21,017 Gonna see how the rest of the day goes, I guess. 219 00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:22,226 But he's on notice. 220 00:10:22,246 --> 00:10:23,973 Okay. Well, keep me posted. 221 00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:26,308 Hey, can you come back? 222 00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:28,561 Thank you. I'm ready. 223 00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:33,321 Is this a good... angle? 224 00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:36,824 And that would result in what I would call a good kind of chaos. 225 00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:40,119 Now, you will see in slide four that statistics show 226 00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:43,873 only children are more likely to commit violent crimes 227 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,666 than children with siblings. 228 00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:47,418 That is pictured here. 229 00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:49,462 Oh, she actually looks really cute there. 230 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:54,508 Yeah, she does. She is also serving life in prison with no possibility of parole. 231 00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:57,261 Now, on a more positive note, 232 00:10:57,281 --> 00:11:00,634 this is what ChatGPT thinks our next baby could look like. 233 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:04,727 - Oh! I hate it. - I hadn't seen it on the big screen. 234 00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:06,270 That's pretty alarming. 235 00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:07,563 - Hello. - Oh, hey. 236 00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:09,315 - Oh shit. The bubble machine. - Hi. 237 00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:10,441 - Yeah. - I forgot. 238 00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:13,277 - Happy Valentine's Day, Queen Esther. - Noah. 239 00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:16,322 Ah, you mensch. They're even bigger than last year. 240 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,824 For an unemployed guy, you got your priorities in order. 241 00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:21,327 Yeah. You guys watching a horror movie? What is that? 242 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,746 It's supposed to be what our next baby would look like, 243 00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,748 but Esther doesn't let me take pictures of her, 244 00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:28,959 so I had to use one of my face mixed with Miriam's. 245 00:11:28,979 --> 00:11:31,212 Wha... You're a sick, sick man. 246 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:32,129 Yuck. 247 00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:35,299 There are a couple more slides, so why don't you flip through the next couple? 248 00:11:35,319 --> 00:11:39,423 - We're gonna go get the bubble machine. - Okay. I... I hate this baby. 249 00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:41,764 Oh, great. You made me hold it? 250 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:45,017 Giving Joanne the old Noah Roklov Valentine's Day special, I see? 251 00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,769 Yep, never fails. 252 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:50,314 Hey, uh, hot goss in our house. You saw Rebecca? 253 00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:54,485 - Esther already got the play-by-play, huh? - That's bad PR for you, bro. 254 00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:58,197 - Don't let Joanne find out about that. - Dude, Joanne's the one who made me do it. 255 00:11:58,217 --> 00:11:59,990 Is that the freaky shit you guys are into? 256 00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:02,910 We got into a thing about my exes. I'm trying to make her feel better. 257 00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:05,246 All right, you're gonna have to go hard, bro. 258 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,034 Might need another bubble machine. 259 00:12:12,189 --> 00:12:13,879 Okay. 260 00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:16,132 Oh my God. You guys look crazy. 261 00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:17,341 - Hey. - What? 262 00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:19,468 I surprised Joanne with a tandem bike ride. 263 00:12:19,488 --> 00:12:21,048 We biked all the way here. 264 00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:25,725 Oh. Okay. Wow. Like... Like, Muppet style, or... 265 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,101 - It was cute. - Yeah. 266 00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:28,894 I didn't realize how many hills the city had. 267 00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:33,149 Yeah. It's a tad more strenuous than Google Maps would lead you to believe. 268 00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:35,192 Yeah, well, exercise is medicine. 269 00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:38,028 It'll shake up some of that rootless, out-of-work energy 270 00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:39,697 I get from you, so that's nice. 271 00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:40,906 - Are you... Do you... - Don't. 272 00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:42,950 - Does it? - It's sad. 273 00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:45,661 Oh my God. I just got a whiff of my dead grandma. 274 00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:47,830 Oh! Yeah, um... 275 00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:51,417 So Dr. Andy took me to this lab where this scientist made a perfume 276 00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,419 that smells exactly like Grandma Minnie. 277 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,254 - It was crazy. - Yikes. 278 00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:59,467 Ciao, ragazzi. Welcome to Osteria Mozza. 279 00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:02,762 We're so happy you chose to book an Airbnb experience with us today, 280 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:06,427 and what a day it will be because we will be making 281 00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:09,685 fresh cavatelli pasta from scratch, which... 282 00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:12,313 Hey. I'm sorry. This is driving me crazy. I have to do this. 283 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,647 - Oh my God. - Your hair is like... 284 00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,608 I have to fix this. You look insane. 285 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,193 - Okay. We're good. - Jesus. 286 00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:19,528 ...I will help you shape the pasta. 287 00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:20,571 - Mm. - Oh my God. 288 00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,364 That's the part. That's the money right here. 289 00:13:22,384 --> 00:13:25,409 - What are we doing here? - What? It's cute. You love pasta. 290 00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:27,573 I know, but when does the drinking start? 291 00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:32,082 Uh, excuse me. Are we gonna be getting wine with our class today? 292 00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:34,168 Of course. Allow me to pour your first taste. 293 00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:36,123 - Great. - There you go. 294 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,216 Oh. 295 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,378 That's... 296 00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:44,011 - Why did... - Oh, no, you can keep going. Just... 297 00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:45,554 More to come. Enjoy. 298 00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:46,592 Oh. 299 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,428 We can't get a full glass of wine? 300 00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:52,937 - I think it's a tasting. I'm sorry. - No, don't be sorry. 301 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:56,435 Yeah, drunk lunch where you can't get drunk. It's totally perfect. 302 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,859 - Do you wanna go to the bathroom? - Sure. 303 00:13:58,879 --> 00:14:01,231 - Okay. - All right, I'll see you. 304 00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:06,951 Noah, I heard that you went on a date with your ex-girlfriend yesterday. 305 00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,657 That's an interesting move, my guy. 306 00:14:15,062 --> 00:14:18,337 Bringing me to a dance studio on Valentine's Day? 307 00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:22,508 Babe, what is this? I thought you said tall men can't dance. 308 00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,094 Well, it's your dream, so let's try it, you know? 309 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:29,969 Hello, I'm Antonio, and today I'm going to teach you the art of the tango. 310 00:14:30,619 --> 00:14:31,971 I'm listening. 311 00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:35,563 Okay, I have a secret. 312 00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:38,524 Is that why you're smiling? I thought you guys were on MDMA. 313 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:42,314 Okay, so Dr. Andy asked me to move in with him. 314 00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,697 - He what? - I know. 315 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:45,990 Um... 316 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:49,368 I mean, I am supportive. Just... Doesn't that feel a little fast? 317 00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:52,413 Nothing's decided yet. He said I could take as long as I need. 318 00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:53,867 Right. Right. Um... 319 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,792 Well, only you know what's right for you. 320 00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:59,753 Exactly. Every couple moves at their own pace, right? 321 00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:02,543 Yeah. Yeah. Wait. What's that supposed to mean? 322 00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:05,134 Like literally what I just said. 323 00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:08,596 Right, but not every pace is healthy or normal. 324 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:11,140 Some might say there's such a thing as too fast. 325 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,933 Uh, or too slow. 326 00:15:12,953 --> 00:15:15,769 - You don't wanna start this with me. - What? 327 00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:17,897 A private orchestra and Grandma Minnie's perfume? 328 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,273 We make fun of stuff like that. 329 00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:21,191 Well, people change in relationships. 330 00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:23,277 You say "babe," and I get amazing gifts 331 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:26,650 that weren't also given to every girl who came before me, so... 332 00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:29,909 I know you don't have to pee, so we should get back out there. 333 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:32,828 Oh God, do we have to? Your boyfriend ruined drunk lunch. 334 00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:34,867 I know, I know, but... 335 00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:38,167 You have to admit, it looks fun. 336 00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:39,543 You're really talented. 337 00:15:39,563 --> 00:15:41,337 - There's a little drizzle. - Yes. 338 00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,088 Look at that. That's amazing! 339 00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:45,127 Perfecto! Is that perfect? 340 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:47,468 Should we grab a bottle of wine? 341 00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:48,427 No, we cannot. 342 00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:50,971 Why not? I have a corkscrew. It'll be fun. We'll be heroes. 343 00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:53,265 No. We're here with a rabbi. We have to be cool. 344 00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:55,434 God, Noah is such a narc. 345 00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:57,765 Fine. Fine. Fine! 346 00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:01,226 - Come on. Ow! - You have it in your hand. 347 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,067 Oh God. 348 00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,736 Five, six, seven, eight. 349 00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:09,615 And a one, a two, a three, a four. Finish, five. 350 00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,450 - Excellent. - Something like that, babe? 351 00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,327 - Sasha. Sasha, now you. - Yeah. Okay. 352 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:15,663 - So it's just, like, eight. - And five, six... 353 00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:19,208 Seven. Yes, eight. And then it's sort of a grapevine. 354 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,960 - He did a... Sorry. - You're good. 355 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,337 A little bit deadweight, but he's doing his best. 356 00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:24,380 Let's take five. 357 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,756 - Yeah. - We're taking a break? 358 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:27,669 I'm hot anyway. I need a break. 359 00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:29,385 - Okay. Hey. - It's cute, babe. 360 00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:33,138 Um, this is so fun. Could you just, like, kind of stand right there? 361 00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:34,556 This is my take-a-break spot? 362 00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:36,684 - What are you doing? - This is your break spot. 363 00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:37,971 Hey, Antonio. 364 00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:39,311 Hit it. 365 00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:42,564 Rather be tied up with calls And not strings 366 00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:44,358 Write my own checks... 367 00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:45,317 What are you doing? 368 00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:47,403 ...sing, yeah My wrist, stop watchin' 369 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:49,238 My neck is flossy 370 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:50,656 Make big deposits 371 00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,616 My gloss is poppin' 372 00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:54,326 You like my hair? 373 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:56,161 Gee, thanks, just bought it 374 00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:58,539 I see it, I like it, I want it... 375 00:16:58,559 --> 00:16:59,540 It gets better. 376 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,333 I want it, I got it 377 00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:04,378 I want it, I got it I want it, I got it 378 00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:06,422 I want it, I got it 379 00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,090 You like my hair? 380 00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:09,800 Gee, thanks, just bought it 381 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:13,715 I see it, I like it I want it, I got it, yeah 382 00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,932 Babe! 383 00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:21,306 Oh my God! I love you so much. 384 00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:23,142 Ridiculous. 385 00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:26,150 You know I'm getting targeted ads for chic moving companies 386 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,068 because of Morgan and Andy? 387 00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:29,523 They're sick. 388 00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,067 You wanna take a bath together? 389 00:17:33,677 --> 00:17:35,075 It's 75 degrees out. 390 00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:36,113 Come on. 391 00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:38,620 Baths are fun. Baths are intimate. 392 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:42,291 Why don't you come lay with me, and I'll show you my TikTok algorithm? 393 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,500 That's intimate. 394 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:47,504 But taking a bath is like sitting on the couch, except it's better. 395 00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:50,007 I just re-blow-dried my hair to get rid of the helmet head. 396 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,008 Wear a shower cap. 397 00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:54,219 No! That's the one thing I vowed I would never do in front of a man. 398 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:56,592 Come on. It's Valentine's Day. 399 00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:05,392 See? 400 00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:08,020 - It's not just an ordinary bath. - Mm-mm. 401 00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:10,694 - It's an experience. - Yeah. 402 00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:12,482 - It's good, right? - Yeah. 403 00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:15,866 - Just a little hot. Are you hot? - No. 404 00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:18,202 - No, no, no. No, I'm good. - Okay. 405 00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:20,949 Here, turn this way. 406 00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:22,868 Okay. 407 00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:24,578 Let me just... 408 00:18:26,396 --> 00:18:28,337 - Easy does it, easy does it. - Okay. 409 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,338 Okay. 410 00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:30,297 Oh. Ow. 411 00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:31,840 - There you are. I got you. - Yeah. 412 00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:34,755 Just got a little in my eye. It's okay. 413 00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:39,890 Just relax. 414 00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:43,477 You know what? I'm gonna turn the AC on just for a sec, okay? 415 00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:44,681 - Uh, okay. - Yeah. 416 00:18:48,335 --> 00:18:53,320 Oh God, you are gonna have to do that all over again so Miriam can see. 417 00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:57,074 Wait, no. I'm not gonna do a sexy dance for our daughter. 418 00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,909 Oh, that was supposed to be sexy. 419 00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:00,739 - Yes. - Babe! 420 00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:06,542 - Oh, it's Morgan. I can ignore it. - Yeah. No. Answer it. 421 00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:10,337 - No. I can let it go to voicemail. - No, you can absolutely answer it. 422 00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:12,756 - Oh my... Hi, Morgan. - Hi. 423 00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:15,968 Hi, you have Esther and I here together on Valentine's Day. 424 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,594 Okay, you don't have to be weird. 425 00:19:17,614 --> 00:19:21,431 But, Morgan, why the fuck are you calling on Valentine's Day? 426 00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:23,392 Who the fuck cares it's Valentine's Day? 427 00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:25,602 Haven't you been married for a thousand years? 428 00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:28,517 Yeah, but it feels like one day to me. 429 00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:32,860 Um, can Sasha come talk to me? I need advice. Esther, you can come too. 430 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:36,238 Oh my God, thank you so much for the invite, but hell fucking no. 431 00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:39,950 Why don't you go ahead and call back tomorrow, or, you know, never? 432 00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:42,698 - Well, I'm literally out front. - What? 433 00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:46,493 - Morgan. - Oh, hey. 434 00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:49,209 Fine. He can come outside and talk to you, like, 435 00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:52,254 through the car window for two minutes or less. 436 00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:54,756 - Perfect, thank you. - Yeah, I'm getting a timer. 437 00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:57,796 I think she's serious about the two minutes. I'll be right out. 438 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,470 - Oh, hey. - Hi. 439 00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:01,925 - Hi. - Hi. 440 00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,636 - What are we doing? - What's up? 441 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,518 Oh, um, can I get in? 442 00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:09,062 You're getting in the car? Yeah, keep the window open. 443 00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:11,315 Do you want me to, like, do a voice recording? 444 00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:13,603 - I'll play it for you later. Yes? Okay. - Yes. 445 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:17,029 I didn't think she was gonna say yes. I'm not gonna do it. 446 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:20,240 - I set the timer for two minutes. - Okay, well, this won't take long. 447 00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,951 I know that everyone is, like, skeptical of me and Dr. Andy, 448 00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:25,907 but for this conversation, will you just set that aside? 449 00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:27,868 Yeah, okay. Clean slate. 450 00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:30,537 Okay, so, um, 451 00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:33,123 Dr. Andy asked me to move in with him. 452 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,631 - Mm. - Uh, wow. 453 00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:36,590 Yeah? 454 00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:39,468 Moving in with somebody you just started dating is the worst idea ever. 455 00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:41,178 I know. I know. 456 00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:45,093 I don't feel ready, but, like, I don't know, maybe I'm just scared? 457 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:50,270 Well, being scared isn't, like, a reason to do something or not do something. 458 00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:52,773 Right? Like, I still regret not going up on the stage 459 00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:55,025 at a Criss Angel show in Vegas. 460 00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:56,652 That was probably smart, but yeah. 461 00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:59,858 What's up with this guy? You really fell in love with your therapist? 462 00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:02,658 I really did. 463 00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:05,661 I mean, and he, like, really loves me. 464 00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:08,497 I mean, I wasn't sure I would ever be loved like this. 465 00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:11,124 I mean, I even thought I might just, 466 00:21:11,144 --> 00:21:13,455 I don't know, be unlovable, period. 467 00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:16,213 I was, like, all ready to, like, look inward 468 00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:18,924 and, like, figure out what exactly was so wrong with me, 469 00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:21,385 but then Dr. Andy came along and now I don't have to, 470 00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:23,757 and it's, like, amazing, you know? 471 00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:26,259 Well, what's holding you back? 472 00:21:26,994 --> 00:21:29,685 He's like... intense, you know? 473 00:21:29,705 --> 00:21:31,728 His love for me is, like, all-consuming, 474 00:21:31,748 --> 00:21:33,814 and I get wrapped up in it when I'm with him, 475 00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:36,817 but then I leave to take a shower, and I'm like, "What am I doing?" 476 00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:39,027 You know, this is moving way too quickly. 477 00:21:39,047 --> 00:21:41,817 Well, then slow it down. You know, there's no rush. 478 00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:44,361 Yeah. 479 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,451 - You're right. Totally. - Yeah. 480 00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:50,038 Okay. I'm just gonna, like, tell him that I cannot move in with him, you know? 481 00:21:50,058 --> 00:21:52,666 It's just like too soon, you know? We're not the Biebers. 482 00:21:52,686 --> 00:21:56,545 Although those guys, like, they really waited for a long time-- 483 00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,547 - And two minutes. - Oh, that's it. 484 00:21:58,567 --> 00:22:00,502 - Okay, thank you. - Great to see you. 485 00:22:00,902 --> 00:22:01,837 Bye. 486 00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:04,469 All right. Oh, uh, happy Valentine's Day. 487 00:22:04,489 --> 00:22:06,341 - Happy Valentine's Day. - Thank you. 488 00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:08,552 - God. Bye. - Bye. 489 00:22:13,707 --> 00:22:17,441 Oh, what do you think of these right here? 490 00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:18,608 Yeah, I love them. 491 00:22:18,628 --> 00:22:21,440 And they're yours. 492 00:22:24,217 --> 00:22:25,741 Sorry, what do you mean? I... 493 00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:29,823 A friend of mine did cross-pollination. I arranged to have them named after you. 494 00:22:30,223 --> 00:22:31,408 The Morchid. 495 00:22:32,059 --> 00:22:34,499 Oh... ...my God. 496 00:22:34,519 --> 00:22:36,251 Dr. Andy, this is way too much. 497 00:22:36,271 --> 00:22:38,795 - I just have to tell you-- - No, hold on one second. 498 00:22:38,815 --> 00:22:41,298 Just... Just look at me for a second. Okay? 499 00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:44,468 I know there's a tough, cynical woman inside of you, 500 00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:46,631 and she's shouting no to all of this. 501 00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:49,009 But these flowers are not for that woman. 502 00:22:49,576 --> 00:22:53,518 These are for the Morgan whose parents didn't bring a single flower 503 00:22:53,538 --> 00:22:57,356 when she starred in Memoirs of a Geisha, ninth grade. 504 00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:58,643 Oh my God. 505 00:22:59,086 --> 00:23:00,776 I can't believe you remembered that. 506 00:23:00,796 --> 00:23:02,481 Are you kidding me? Of course I do. 507 00:23:06,343 --> 00:23:08,158 Okay. Let's do it. 508 00:23:08,178 --> 00:23:09,618 - Come on. - Yeah, let's move in. 509 00:23:09,638 --> 00:23:11,244 Come on. Are you serious? 510 00:23:11,264 --> 00:23:13,450 - I'm serious. - Oh my God. 511 00:23:16,353 --> 00:23:19,044 - We have to take all these home now. - No, we can leave them. 512 00:23:19,064 --> 00:23:21,500 - Okay, yeah. It's heavy. - But it's very sweet. 513 00:23:30,283 --> 00:23:31,551 Hey, you okay? 514 00:23:32,035 --> 00:23:34,184 Oh, yeah. It was just getting a little hot in there. 515 00:23:34,204 --> 00:23:37,437 Mm. Right. Well, when you're ready, throw some clothes on 516 00:23:37,457 --> 00:23:39,314 'cause I got one more surprise for you. 517 00:23:39,334 --> 00:23:40,440 Yeah? 518 00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:42,771 We're going... on a night hike. 519 00:23:45,173 --> 00:23:46,488 A night hike? 520 00:23:46,508 --> 00:23:48,068 Yeah. No good? 521 00:23:49,886 --> 00:23:52,072 I just kind of want this day to be over. 522 00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:53,370 I... 523 00:23:53,390 --> 00:23:55,122 Really? What? 524 00:23:55,142 --> 00:23:57,536 Noah, I say this with love. 525 00:24:00,355 --> 00:24:02,374 This was the worst Valentine's Day ever. 526 00:24:03,024 --> 00:24:03,959 What? 527 00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:08,880 Did you get me the same necklace that you got for Rebecca? 528 00:24:09,865 --> 00:24:11,132 Oh, I mean, 529 00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:13,223 not the same exact one. 530 00:24:13,243 --> 00:24:16,263 The same, except mine says Joanne, and hers says Rebecca. 531 00:24:16,997 --> 00:24:19,432 Oh, well, then, yeah. 532 00:24:20,208 --> 00:24:23,358 - Noah, what the fuck? That's... - What? It's a beautiful necklace. 533 00:24:23,378 --> 00:24:25,444 I thought it would be perfect for my girlfriend. 534 00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:27,487 But I'm not your girlfriend. 535 00:24:27,507 --> 00:24:30,490 I'm Joanne, okay? I don't want you to do the things 536 00:24:30,510 --> 00:24:32,576 you think you're supposed to do when you're dating. 537 00:24:32,596 --> 00:24:35,824 I want you to do the things you do when you're going out with me. 538 00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:38,285 - Like... - Okay. 539 00:24:39,102 --> 00:24:42,169 Remember when you got me the nightstand? The most romantic thing ever? 540 00:24:42,189 --> 00:24:45,130 I'm not gonna get you a piece of furniture for Valentine's Day. 541 00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:47,507 Why not? That's what you aren't getting. 542 00:24:47,527 --> 00:24:50,802 The way you are every day, naturally, 543 00:24:50,822 --> 00:24:52,471 that's romantic. 544 00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:57,184 It's when you slip into this, like, good boyfriend mode that it gets weird. 545 00:24:57,204 --> 00:24:58,471 - It just... just... - Oh. 546 00:24:59,039 --> 00:25:00,724 It doesn't seem real. 547 00:25:03,627 --> 00:25:04,644 Okay. 548 00:25:05,921 --> 00:25:09,946 You know, Rebecca actually said something along those lines. 549 00:25:09,966 --> 00:25:10,989 I'm sorry, what? 550 00:25:11,009 --> 00:25:13,325 Yeah, she was... She was kind of angry. 551 00:25:13,345 --> 00:25:16,036 - She felt like I led her on. - Why didn't you tell me this? 552 00:25:16,056 --> 00:25:17,829 I didn't want you to see me through her eyes. 553 00:25:17,849 --> 00:25:20,243 I don't want you to think of me as a bad person. 554 00:25:20,977 --> 00:25:22,959 Oh my God, Noah. 555 00:25:22,979 --> 00:25:26,750 This... This version of you, telling me the truth, 556 00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:32,213 I like that so much better than the idea of you being a perfect person. 557 00:25:32,906 --> 00:25:34,966 Because you're not perfect. 558 00:25:36,243 --> 00:25:37,599 And that's a good thing. 559 00:25:37,619 --> 00:25:40,764 There's only room for one perfect person in this relationship. 560 00:25:41,331 --> 00:25:42,641 - That's me. - Yeah. 561 00:25:46,086 --> 00:25:50,320 You know... I'm actually glad you hated this Valentine's Day. 562 00:25:50,340 --> 00:25:52,239 I mean, hate is a really strong word. 563 00:25:52,259 --> 00:25:53,949 No, it's not, but that's good. 564 00:25:53,969 --> 00:25:58,078 Because, listen, us being honest with each other, 565 00:25:58,098 --> 00:25:59,746 even when it's difficult, 566 00:25:59,766 --> 00:26:03,458 that's something I haven't been able to do in any of these other relationships. 567 00:26:03,478 --> 00:26:04,537 So to me, 568 00:26:04,938 --> 00:26:09,292 this is my perfect Valentine's Day because it brought me to this. 569 00:26:10,277 --> 00:26:12,128 - Thank you. - Mm. 570 00:26:15,907 --> 00:26:17,264 And I can return the necklace. 571 00:26:17,284 --> 00:26:19,766 No, I'm gonna keep it. It's the concept I didn't like. 572 00:26:19,786 --> 00:26:21,554 - I can return it. - Don't you dare. 573 00:26:22,706 --> 00:26:23,853 While we're being honest, 574 00:26:23,873 --> 00:26:26,982 I do have one little thing that bothered me that you did today. 575 00:26:27,002 --> 00:26:29,609 - We're not talking about me-- - You didn't write me a card. 576 00:26:29,629 --> 00:26:32,445 I want a card that says how much you love and appreciate me. 577 00:26:32,465 --> 00:26:35,527 There are four days a year where you can get a card like that. 578 00:26:36,386 --> 00:26:37,325 Today was one. 579 00:26:37,345 --> 00:26:40,829 Can't really put your crumpled-up wrapping paper 580 00:26:40,849 --> 00:26:42,826 in my card drawer, can I? I can't. 581 00:26:43,935 --> 00:26:45,667 You have a card drawer? 582 00:26:45,687 --> 00:26:48,169 You know I have a card drawer, you little snoop. 583 00:26:48,189 --> 00:26:50,208 Whoops. 584 00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:53,211 I'm sorry I'm asking you this so late. 585 00:26:53,778 --> 00:26:57,554 But, Joanne, what would you like to do for your final hours of Valentine's Day? 586 00:26:57,574 --> 00:26:59,347 - Oh. - Yeah. 587 00:26:59,367 --> 00:27:02,429 - You sure you're ready to hear it? - Yeah, this is your time. 588 00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:06,433 I wanna get in this bed, turn on Love is Blind, 589 00:27:06,833 --> 00:27:08,143 and watch it 590 00:27:09,336 --> 00:27:11,771 alone, by myself. 591 00:27:13,632 --> 00:27:14,607 Is that okay? 592 00:27:16,051 --> 00:27:16,985 Yeah. 593 00:27:17,385 --> 00:27:18,575 - You sure? - It's fine. 594 00:27:18,595 --> 00:27:20,989 No! No, no, no, no, no, no! 595 00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:23,324 All right. 596 00:27:24,351 --> 00:27:25,452 It's your day. 597 00:27:27,103 --> 00:27:28,501 Joanne. 598 00:27:28,521 --> 00:27:31,082 All right. I'm here if you need me. 599 00:27:31,816 --> 00:27:32,834 Thank you. 600 00:27:42,869 --> 00:27:43,850 This is crazy. 601 00:27:43,870 --> 00:27:45,101 - This is crazy. - Mm-hmm. 602 00:27:45,121 --> 00:27:47,812 Did you think we'd be sitting here five days ago? 603 00:27:47,832 --> 00:27:48,730 No. 604 00:27:48,750 --> 00:27:51,519 I have a good feeling about these two. They're gonna last. 605 00:27:52,295 --> 00:27:53,313 Same. 606 00:27:54,005 --> 00:27:54,944 How's the ring? 607 00:27:54,964 --> 00:27:57,567 - I'm obsessed with it. - What is this? 608 00:28:02,472 --> 00:28:05,241 - That was a short episode. - I turned it off. 609 00:28:06,184 --> 00:28:07,285 Okay. 610 00:28:08,228 --> 00:28:09,329 And 611 00:28:10,772 --> 00:28:12,081 I wrote you a card. 612 00:28:12,941 --> 00:28:14,297 You wrote me a card. 613 00:28:14,317 --> 00:28:15,335 Mm-hmm. 614 00:28:15,944 --> 00:28:18,046 For worse or for better 615 00:28:19,114 --> 00:28:21,800 Oh, baby... 616 00:28:22,492 --> 00:28:24,969 A lot of spelling errors in here, huh? 617 00:28:25,620 --> 00:28:26,810 I love it. 618 00:28:26,830 --> 00:28:28,264 ...faded 619 00:28:28,665 --> 00:28:31,815 Slipping right between your teeth 620 00:28:31,835 --> 00:28:35,110 Maybe it's stupid, maybe it's reckless 621 00:28:35,130 --> 00:28:38,029 Send me a message anyway 622 00:28:38,049 --> 00:28:41,449 I fall in love in 30 seconds 623 00:28:41,469 --> 00:28:44,285 Sudden rushes to the brain 624 00:28:44,305 --> 00:28:45,787 And that's okay 625 00:28:45,807 --> 00:28:47,789 I say for sure 626 00:28:47,809 --> 00:28:50,792 I was reminded that this ain't war 627 00:28:50,812 --> 00:28:53,795 And I can fight it, but we shall see 628 00:28:53,815 --> 00:29:00,821 I can't keep loving you more than me 629 00:29:00,822 --> 00:29:04,926 Loving you more than me 630 00:29:07,871 --> 00:29:10,311 I love you forever 631 00:29:10,331 --> 00:29:13,398 Maybe it's stupid, maybe it's reckless 632 00:29:13,418 --> 00:29:16,317 Send me a message anyway 633 00:29:16,337 --> 00:29:19,946 I fall in love in 30 seconds 634 00:29:19,966 --> 00:29:23,027 Sudden rushes to the brain 635 00:29:24,429 --> 00:29:27,579 - I say for sure - Nobody told you 636 00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:29,330 This ain't war 637 00:29:29,350 --> 00:29:31,202 Love you forever