1 00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:23,858 Previously on doom patrol... 2 00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:25,377 What's the bureau of normalcy? 3 00:00:25,401 --> 00:00:27,195 It's a top secret government agency 4 00:00:27,278 --> 00:00:28,988 run by a bunch of demented zealots. 5 00:00:29,113 --> 00:00:32,158 They stomp out anything they deem to be aberrations. 6 00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:34,368 Hey, it's me. 7 00:00:34,452 --> 00:00:35,328 Jane. 8 00:00:35,411 --> 00:00:38,289 Her brain activity's off the charts and yet... nothing. 9 00:00:38,664 --> 00:00:39,704 Jane's in there somewhere. 10 00:00:43,002 --> 00:00:44,229 What the hell happened here? 11 00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:45,338 Long story. 12 00:00:45,421 --> 00:00:46,690 If you're feeling any homicidal urges, 13 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,354 just give us a little heads-up, all right? 14 00:00:48,424 --> 00:00:49,258 Isaid, shut up. 15 00:00:49,342 --> 00:00:51,302 - I was trying to protect you. - By lying? 16 00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:53,512 How did niles get involved with superheroes? 17 00:00:53,638 --> 00:00:56,349 Niles never said. You know he has his secrets. 18 00:00:56,432 --> 00:00:57,850 Niles and his secrets. 19 00:00:57,934 --> 00:01:02,188 Sounds like you and I know two different niles caulders. 20 00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:18,431 From the journal of niles caulder, 4th of December, 1913. 21 00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:22,768 We've set up north on an exploratory mission for the bureau of oddities. 22 00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:27,023 Washington doubts our department's value, 23 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:29,984 but I am eager to prove what we are capable of. 24 00:02:36,574 --> 00:02:40,119 Steady on, alistair. We're explorers, not mercenaries. 25 00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:41,704 You tell that to the Turks 26 00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:44,540 that were just up this way about seven months ago. 27 00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:47,251 Only one man returned. 28 00:02:49,045 --> 00:02:50,171 Barely. 29 00:02:50,421 --> 00:02:52,465 You know what he claims he saw? 30 00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:55,885 Those men were hunters. We're not. 31 00:02:57,428 --> 00:02:59,305 If this creature exists, 32 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:02,141 there's no reason to believe it's gonna be of any danger to us. 33 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:04,602 In fact, it might mean us no harm at all. 34 00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:13,486 Oh, friend. 35 00:03:14,487 --> 00:03:21,285 Anything that can survive this frozen hell absolutely wants to do you harm. 36 00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:52,148 Fuck. 37 00:04:36,152 --> 00:04:42,408 You remind that wolf that you're an explorer, not a hunter? 38 00:04:42,992 --> 00:04:43,992 You saved my life. 39 00:04:44,577 --> 00:04:47,246 I thought I told you not to wander away from camp without... 40 00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:52,292 Alistair! 41 00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:56,714 Run! 42 00:05:39,215 --> 00:05:40,883 {933931 43 00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,183 Wait. Wait. 44 00:05:52,228 --> 00:05:53,228 Wait. 45 00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:54,855 Please. 46 00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:20,256 Ernest, are you down there? 47 00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:21,799 What is it, mother? 48 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,301 We're out of lean cuisine. 49 00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:27,137 I no longer require lean cuisine for sustenance, mother. 50 00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:31,684 I maintain my physique through a high calorie ketogenic diet and mental focus. 51 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,562 I need you to go to the market. 52 00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:36,354 What? 53 00:06:38,274 --> 00:06:39,692 Why can't you go? 54 00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:41,610 I'm watching this is us. 55 00:06:41,986 --> 00:06:43,904 Fuck this is us. 56 00:06:43,988 --> 00:06:46,448 The keys are by the door. 57 00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:49,702 And don't forget to pick up more scratchers. 58 00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:50,869 Mom! 59 00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:53,789 I'm very busy right now! 60 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:58,960 Mom! 61 00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:01,254 Mom! 62 00:07:05,009 --> 00:07:06,009 Mom! 63 00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:42,087 Canned peaches are on aisle 5, old-timer. 64 00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,230 That's for my mom. 65 00:08:02,358 --> 00:08:03,358 That's for me. 66 00:08:06,070 --> 00:08:10,074 We know all about your hemorrhoid cream preferences, Ernest Franklin. 67 00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:18,624 Who the fuck are you? 68 00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:21,085 Try the United States fucking government. 69 00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:22,252 Bureau of normalcy. 70 00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:24,421 I'm familiar with your work. 71 00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:25,505 No, you're not. 72 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:27,341 No, I'm not. 73 00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:31,804 Normally, the bureau operates in the shadows, entirely self-regulated. 74 00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:33,263 But desperate times call for... 75 00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:35,474 People like you. 76 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:38,102 People like me? 77 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:41,939 One of our top agents, Darren Jones, failed to report in from assignment. 78 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,899 We believe that he had an encounter with 79 00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:46,777 the associates of a gentleman by the name of niles caulder. 80 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,278 We believe that a man of your... 81 00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:53,575 Talents can locate niles caulder and bring him in for questioning. 82 00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:55,688 Do you think you can handle that? 83 00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:01,041 Prepare yourself, beard hunter. 84 00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:03,168 You've been activated. 85 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:26,316 Mom? Where are my shuriken? 86 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,485 Check the dishwasher. 87 00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,696 I told you, they're handwash only! 88 00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:39,413 Mom! I need your help, please! 89 00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:42,499 What happened? You stuck in your costume again? 90 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,877 It's not a costume! 91 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,298 Fuck! 92 00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:52,843 Niles caulder, I'm coming for you. 93 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:48,981 Who's there? 94 00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:09,545 I am an agent of the oddities. I am not afraid of death. 95 00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:11,255 I am not afraid of death. 96 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:39,699 Yes. 97 00:11:40,993 --> 00:11:42,873 There's absolutely nothing wrong with her. 98 00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:46,582 Her brain activity's off the charts and yet... nothing. 99 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,292 Jane's in there somewhere. 100 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,644 So how do we pull her out? 101 00:11:49,668 --> 00:11:50,836 I don't know. 102 00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:52,397 Part of me wishes that we could just 103 00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:56,008 shrink ourselves magic school bus style, and get inside her head. 104 00:11:58,427 --> 00:11:59,261 What? 105 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:00,947 Oh, I'm just marveling at your embrace 106 00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:03,515 of the weird and utterly impossible. 107 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:13,566 What? 108 00:12:17,446 --> 00:12:18,447 Cliff? 109 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,408 Cliff? 110 00:12:23,619 --> 00:12:24,828 - Cliff! - We get it, Rita. 111 00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:26,538 Do you? 112 00:12:26,622 --> 00:12:29,958 Three people are unconscious now, and you're just, what, all good? 113 00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:32,878 What exactly is the plan here? 114 00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:34,379 I have no idea. 115 00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:37,591 But whatever it is, it looks like it's working. 116 00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:38,674 Oh, really? 117 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,677 Forgive me for having doubts, 118 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:44,306 but what do we really know about this... 119 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,141 Thing? 120 00:12:48,352 --> 00:12:49,895 What exactly are you? 121 00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:57,819 Well, I can see why Larry is so fond of you. 122 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:01,257 This never would've happened if the chief were still here. 123 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:02,866 You're right. He's gone. 124 00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:06,328 But us standing around waiting for these three is not gonna change that. 125 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:07,579 Let's get back to work. 126 00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:35,606 Hello. 127 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:40,529 I'm Dr. Niles Evelyn caulder. 128 00:13:42,406 --> 00:13:45,367 I'm a research explorer from the bureau of oddities. 129 00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:50,038 Please, I'm separated from my partner. 130 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,668 You know I'm wounded. I'm not a threat to you. 131 00:14:00,549 --> 00:14:04,845 Please, those men up there, I'm not like them. 132 00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,264 Those men are hunters. 133 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,350 I'm not a hunter. 134 00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:16,023 I'm a friend. 135 00:14:21,987 --> 00:14:23,155 I'm very cold. 136 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,368 Please, could I? 137 00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:33,331 Could I move a bit closer to the fire? 138 00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:37,919 I'm not gonna survive this, whatever your plans are. 139 00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:42,382 I just want to get... 140 00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:46,094 A little bit warm. 141 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,018 Please, stop. 142 00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:54,895 I'm sorry. 143 00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:17,542 So Danny is a talking street? 144 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,427 - Yeah. - Where everyone is gay? 145 00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:21,588 No. I don't know. 146 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,840 It's a... it's a place for all kinds of people. 147 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,218 And it travels? 148 00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:29,554 Not "it," "they." Danny's genderqueer. 149 00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:31,807 And theyjump, yeah. 150 00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:33,892 And they gave you a comic book? 151 00:15:34,226 --> 00:15:37,395 Look, when you get a comic book from a talking street named Danny, 152 00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:40,398 it isn'tjust a comic book. It has to have some kind of clue. 153 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:41,942 Well, give it here. 154 00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,487 Look, anything that gets us closer to finding the chief, 155 00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:48,073 no matter how absurd or obtuse or dangerous, 156 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:49,640 we have to use it to our advantage. 157 00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:51,743 Talking streets, comic books. 158 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,704 I always thought the weirdest thing in chief's life was us. 159 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:57,249 That's odd. The hunk is missing. 160 00:15:57,958 --> 00:15:59,084 What? 161 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:00,836 Cartoon hunk. 162 00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:03,255 The hunky muscle man in this advertisement. 163 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:07,259 Mmm, I must've seen this ad 100 times as a girl. 164 00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:11,221 There's supposed to be a man there, but it's empty. 165 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,723 It's like he just walked out of the comic book. 166 00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:40,082 Oh, yeah. 167 00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,128 Okay, easy. 168 00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:44,838 Here we go. Easy. 169 00:16:47,299 --> 00:16:48,299 Okay. 170 00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:52,804 Easy. 171 00:16:53,597 --> 00:16:54,723 Oh! 172 00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,063 Be smart now, Ernest. 173 00:17:02,606 --> 00:17:04,191 A little bit goes a long way. 174 00:17:09,946 --> 00:17:11,031 Mmm. 175 00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:29,352 "From the journal of niles caulder. 176 00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:33,261 I've spent weeks at the mercy of this primitive creature. 177 00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:36,890 Finally, my strength has started to return. 178 00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:41,770 This specimen seemingly exists in complete opposition to the modern world, 179 00:17:41,937 --> 00:17:44,189 entirely removed from mankind. 180 00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:47,275 She would be the crown Jewel of the bureau's collection." 181 00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:49,110 Oh, don't be alarmed. 182 00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:52,614 My leg is feeling better. 183 00:17:53,949 --> 00:17:55,408 It's feeling good, thank you. 184 00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:57,369 I'll be able to leave soon. 185 00:17:58,286 --> 00:17:59,663 I'll have to go home. 186 00:18:01,665 --> 00:18:02,666 Home. 187 00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:05,209 I'll have to go. 188 00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:08,545 Home! 189 00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:12,050 You could come with me. 190 00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:22,644 Mmm. 191 00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:30,610 My people would love to see you. 192 00:18:31,987 --> 00:18:33,822 They'd take great care of you. 193 00:18:39,911 --> 00:18:41,538 I'm never gonna leave here, am I? 194 00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:45,083 You didn't save me. You kidnapped me. 195 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:47,711 I'm just your pet. 196 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:51,131 I'm a plaything to you. 197 00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:53,902 That's what you think of me, isn't it? 198 00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:57,762 How dare you! 199 00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,265 I'm not a pet monkey! 200 00:19:01,224 --> 00:19:02,392 I'm not an animal! 201 00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:04,477 You're the animal! 202 00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:07,188 We are not animals! 203 00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:10,066 I'm not an animal. 204 00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:17,157 Stay back. 205 00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:19,284 Don't you come near me. 206 00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:23,830 You've kept me here against my will. 207 00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:26,291 You've bound my hands. 208 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:29,586 I can't! I will not. 209 00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:33,715 These are not animals left to rot. 210 00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:35,633 They are men. 211 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,429 They deserve a proper burial. 212 00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:41,723 It's the right... 213 00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:45,393 It's the Christian thing to do. 214 00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:31,898 My god. 215 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:34,692 What is this place? 216 00:20:41,116 --> 00:20:42,826 Oh, god, this is remarkable. 217 00:20:48,331 --> 00:20:51,251 "There appears to be even more to this strange creature 218 00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:52,961 than I 'd originally assumed. 219 00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:56,256 I 'd always suspected that my captor was primitive, 220 00:20:56,339 --> 00:20:58,758 but I 'd never considered what that truly meant. 221 00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:03,721 This ancient culture, tens of thousands of years old by my estimation, 222 00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:05,974 was once a proud tribe. 223 00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:09,769 But one by one, they faded away. 224 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:12,605 Except... 225 00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:19,237 Unless my eyes deceived me, 226 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,782 my captor had existed within this tribe for generations. 227 00:21:23,366 --> 00:21:24,576 Every era. 228 00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:27,454 The question was, how? 229 00:21:28,663 --> 00:21:29,998 Eternal life? 230 00:21:30,582 --> 00:21:32,917 Something I never before considered possible. 231 00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:35,003 Something I struggled to comprehend. 232 00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:37,338 My mind raced with questions, 233 00:21:38,089 --> 00:21:39,883 but I could not find my voice. 234 00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:43,845 I could only bear witness, 235 00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:46,473 and behold her." 236 00:22:35,021 --> 00:22:36,314 Oyewah. 237 00:22:45,615 --> 00:22:46,908 Oyewah. 238 00:22:50,453 --> 00:22:54,457 "Finally, ibegan to understand the nature of the creature I had found." 239 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,431 Mmm. 240 00:23:43,506 --> 00:23:46,217 "And then, in a single moment..." 241 00:23:48,469 --> 00:23:49,971 Oyewah. 242 00:23:54,475 --> 00:23:58,396 "I realized that I understood absolutely nothing at all. 243 00:24:13,661 --> 00:24:15,163 It's really you! 244 00:24:16,372 --> 00:24:17,206 Cyborg! 245 00:24:17,290 --> 00:24:20,335 Yes, yes, the famous cyborg. Incredible. 246 00:24:20,418 --> 00:24:21,252 And you are? 247 00:24:21,336 --> 00:24:23,338 Looking for one niles caulder. 248 00:24:24,464 --> 00:24:26,257 - Missing. - How do you know niles caulder? 249 00:24:26,507 --> 00:24:28,343 Oh, I know all about niles caulder. 250 00:24:28,968 --> 00:24:31,137 I know how the bureau of normalcy is looking for him. 251 00:24:31,220 --> 00:24:32,847 I know about his band of freaks. 252 00:24:32,930 --> 00:24:38,561 The race car driver, the basket case, the test pilot, the Hollywood actress. 253 00:24:39,604 --> 00:24:41,439 - And so much more. - I'm sorry. 254 00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:42,982 Who are you, again? 255 00:24:43,107 --> 00:24:45,068 Well, I'm known by many names. 256 00:24:45,777 --> 00:24:48,529 In Spain, they call me El cazador de barba. 257 00:24:49,656 --> 00:24:52,492 My psyche profile, they call me a pogonophile. 258 00:24:53,117 --> 00:24:56,537 But most commonly, those who dare speak my name, 259 00:24:57,955 --> 00:24:59,457 call me the beard hunter. 260 00:25:06,089 --> 00:25:06,964 Okay. 261 00:25:07,048 --> 00:25:08,132 The beard hunter. 262 00:25:08,591 --> 00:25:12,345 So the bureau of normalcy hired... The beard hunter. 263 00:25:13,596 --> 00:25:14,782 Okay, what else do we need to know? 264 00:25:14,806 --> 00:25:17,350 If you're the beard hunter, why don't you have a beard? 265 00:25:17,433 --> 00:25:18,351 Hormone disorder. 266 00:25:18,434 --> 00:25:22,021 - Man, how do you know niles caulder? - I consumed niles' essence. 267 00:25:23,106 --> 00:25:25,692 Fragments of his facial hair. 268 00:25:26,401 --> 00:25:27,985 - Still fresh. - Ugh. 269 00:25:28,111 --> 00:25:29,111 Wait. Hold up. 270 00:25:29,779 --> 00:25:30,905 Consumed his essence? 271 00:25:33,032 --> 00:25:34,032 You didn't. 272 00:25:34,325 --> 00:25:38,579 In the bathroom, did you eat niles' drain scum? 273 00:25:38,871 --> 00:25:40,123 - Ugh. - Why? 274 00:25:41,541 --> 00:25:43,661 What's a soggy piece of hair got to do with the chief? 275 00:25:52,969 --> 00:25:54,470 You better back your ass up. 276 00:25:54,554 --> 00:25:57,390 I'm sure you care very much about finding the chief. 277 00:25:57,473 --> 00:25:58,391 We all do. 278 00:25:58,474 --> 00:26:03,646 But I'm not sure he can help you with whatever is wrong with you. 279 00:26:04,147 --> 00:26:05,732 Help me? 280 00:26:07,567 --> 00:26:09,777 You really don't know him at all, do you? 281 00:26:10,111 --> 00:26:13,948 You think finding niles will rescue you from your pathetic lives, 282 00:26:14,031 --> 00:26:17,744 but niles caulder is not the man he's led you to believe. 283 00:26:18,828 --> 00:26:21,330 Niles caulder is not your savior. 284 00:26:21,873 --> 00:26:23,082 He's a false god. 285 00:26:23,958 --> 00:26:26,794 Finding him will change nothing. 286 00:26:28,045 --> 00:26:31,507 You'll still be nothing more than a broken football star... 287 00:26:32,842 --> 00:26:34,761 And a washed-up actress. 288 00:26:34,844 --> 00:26:36,447 Then just tell me why we should be listening 289 00:26:36,471 --> 00:26:39,849 to this crazy-ass lunatic we just found passed out in the bathroom? 290 00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:41,652 'Cause I know the truth about niles caulder, 291 00:26:41,726 --> 00:26:43,227 and I know how to find him. 292 00:26:44,061 --> 00:26:47,356 His beard calls out to me from across time and space. 293 00:26:48,274 --> 00:26:49,734 I can hear its siren song. 294 00:26:50,693 --> 00:26:51,861 That's my superpower. 295 00:26:52,445 --> 00:26:54,322 My je ne sais quoi. 296 00:26:55,406 --> 00:26:57,700 I can trace a man's beard anywhere it is, 297 00:26:58,534 --> 00:26:59,869 anywhere it has been. 298 00:27:00,077 --> 00:27:01,077 Okay. 299 00:27:19,639 --> 00:27:21,599 Okay, I'm done. 300 00:27:24,685 --> 00:27:28,064 Never underestimate the power of the beard. 301 00:27:31,234 --> 00:27:34,737 "From the journal of niles caulder, date unknown. 302 00:27:34,904 --> 00:27:37,240 After the funeral, I choose to remain 303 00:27:37,323 --> 00:27:40,117 and study the creature in her natural habitat. 304 00:27:40,284 --> 00:27:43,663 She wields a psychic power with incredible potential. 305 00:27:43,871 --> 00:27:46,916 What other wonders could she possibly unlock? 306 00:27:47,291 --> 00:27:48,584 Immortality. 307 00:27:49,252 --> 00:27:51,087 A bridge to the unknown. 308 00:27:51,462 --> 00:27:53,214 She is the ultimate discovery. 309 00:27:53,923 --> 00:27:57,760 She represents all the bureau of oddities stands for." 310 00:28:01,389 --> 00:28:02,723 - Horkon. - Horkon? 311 00:28:02,807 --> 00:28:04,225 - That's a new one. - Horkon iaka. 312 00:28:05,101 --> 00:28:06,461 - Horkon? - Horkon. 313 00:28:14,235 --> 00:28:15,319 "After that day, 314 00:28:16,153 --> 00:28:17,613 I fell deathly ill." 315 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:48,561 Stay back. 316 00:28:49,437 --> 00:28:50,646 I'm not well. 317 00:29:38,569 --> 00:29:40,029 "Were it not for each other, 318 00:29:40,738 --> 00:29:42,239 we would have perished." 319 00:29:55,836 --> 00:29:56,836 Oyewah. 320 00:30:01,092 --> 00:30:02,218 Oyewah. 321 00:30:33,082 --> 00:30:35,126 You are remarkable. 322 00:30:57,898 --> 00:31:00,484 All right, that gentleman is clearly a nut muffin, 323 00:31:00,568 --> 00:31:03,154 but I think we should try to use him. 324 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:06,032 If he knows where the chief is, that can help us. 325 00:31:06,449 --> 00:31:08,534 Maybe we can co-star with him. 326 00:31:09,702 --> 00:31:11,245 You mean team up? 327 00:31:11,370 --> 00:31:12,455 Yes, that. 328 00:31:14,623 --> 00:31:17,251 If it helps us find the chief, we have to follow it. 329 00:31:17,334 --> 00:31:19,420 That's what you said, right? No matter what. 330 00:31:35,853 --> 00:31:36,854 Ah! 331 00:31:37,063 --> 00:31:38,773 All right, you're right, um... 332 00:31:40,191 --> 00:31:41,671 - Okay, here's the plan. - Mmm. 333 00:31:43,527 --> 00:31:45,529 - We just let him go. - What? 334 00:31:45,654 --> 00:31:48,374 Something tells me this beard hunter guy isn't much of a team player. 335 00:31:48,407 --> 00:31:51,702 But we can track him, using this. 336 00:31:55,623 --> 00:31:57,500 Impressive doohickey, Victor. 337 00:31:57,708 --> 00:31:59,585 But how are we supposed to track... 338 00:32:03,923 --> 00:32:06,258 Hey. He hasn't told you yet, has he? 339 00:32:06,467 --> 00:32:07,551 What's wrong with him? 340 00:32:07,635 --> 00:32:10,471 He's been lying to all of you. Haven't you, Victor? 341 00:32:10,554 --> 00:32:12,264 Okay, beard hunter, you're, like, a nine. 342 00:32:12,348 --> 00:32:14,242 I'm gonna need you to take it down to, like, a four. 343 00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:16,936 It's too late, cyborg. I consumed a sample of your essence. 344 00:32:17,019 --> 00:32:18,019 I'm inside your head now. 345 00:32:18,062 --> 00:32:20,523 Facial hair connects me to the secrets of the universe. 346 00:32:20,606 --> 00:32:22,108 It's the ultimate flavor savor. 347 00:32:22,191 --> 00:32:24,151 All the memories, secrets, sandwiches... 348 00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:26,445 A man's beard witnesses all things. 349 00:32:26,529 --> 00:32:28,364 And only I can decode the language. 350 00:32:28,656 --> 00:32:30,416 You wet the bed until you were six years old. 351 00:32:30,449 --> 00:32:32,076 You killed your mother when you were 18. 352 00:32:32,701 --> 00:32:34,829 When you were little you called her cotton candy, 353 00:32:35,246 --> 00:32:36,497 and she called you... 354 00:32:40,709 --> 00:32:41,627 I know it all. 355 00:32:41,710 --> 00:32:43,910 Your facial hair connects me directly to the brain stem. 356 00:32:43,963 --> 00:32:44,963 Sure. 357 00:32:53,889 --> 00:32:55,432 Whoo! 358 00:33:01,897 --> 00:33:03,315 Just hit him already. 359 00:33:03,399 --> 00:33:05,544 Tell me, cyborg. Why would a man like niles caulder 360 00:33:05,568 --> 00:33:07,903 choose to live with a gallery of rejects like her? 361 00:33:08,028 --> 00:33:09,588 And why would he want you to join them? 362 00:33:11,699 --> 00:33:13,409 Grid, diagnostic check. 363 00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:14,410 What's up with my arm Cannon? 364 00:33:14,493 --> 00:33:15,995 Unknown threat detected. 365 00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:17,746 Host has been compromised. 366 00:33:18,164 --> 00:33:19,415 - What? - Well, well, well... 367 00:33:19,874 --> 00:33:22,209 Looks like I'm not the only one inside your head. 368 00:33:22,293 --> 00:33:24,253 Initiating total system control. 369 00:33:24,336 --> 00:33:25,212 What is he talking about? 370 00:33:25,296 --> 00:33:26,898 That's what you were told, right, cyborg? 371 00:33:26,922 --> 00:33:29,341 The search for niles caulder would destroy you all. 372 00:33:29,425 --> 00:33:31,552 - Shut up. - Victor, what are you doing? 373 00:33:31,635 --> 00:33:32,469 Grid. 374 00:33:32,553 --> 00:33:34,114 Weapons systems have been activated. 375 00:33:34,138 --> 00:33:35,306 Grid, deactivate Cannon. 376 00:33:35,389 --> 00:33:36,557 - Here we go. - I repeat... 377 00:33:46,942 --> 00:33:48,819 What on earth is wrong with you? 378 00:33:48,903 --> 00:33:50,343 There's nothing wrong with me. 379 00:33:55,201 --> 00:33:56,201 Beard hunter! 380 00:33:57,244 --> 00:33:58,412 Just admit it. 381 00:33:58,746 --> 00:34:00,664 You'll never find the chief. 382 00:34:00,873 --> 00:34:02,082 You don't want to. 383 00:34:02,166 --> 00:34:04,919 You're afraid of what you'll find if you keep looking. 384 00:34:05,169 --> 00:34:06,688 You have no idea what you're talking about. 385 00:34:06,712 --> 00:34:09,673 Actually, I've seen who you and niles caulder really are. 386 00:34:09,798 --> 00:34:10,841 And the truth is... 387 00:34:13,802 --> 00:34:15,179 You're not gonna like the truth. 388 00:34:18,641 --> 00:34:19,641 Here he comes. 389 00:34:24,980 --> 00:34:25,980 Grid. 390 00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:27,440 Stand down. 391 00:34:27,691 --> 00:34:28,691 I got this. 392 00:34:28,901 --> 00:34:30,221 Host has been compromised. 393 00:34:30,361 --> 00:34:32,655 System control has been deemed necessary. 394 00:34:32,780 --> 00:34:35,157 Listen to the little voice in your head, cyborg. 395 00:34:35,449 --> 00:34:36,742 You're not in control. 396 00:34:36,825 --> 00:34:37,993 Target acquired. 397 00:34:38,077 --> 00:34:39,957 - Lethal force activated. - Grid, stop! 398 00:34:40,037 --> 00:34:41,664 - T-minus five... - Stop now! 399 00:34:41,747 --> 00:34:43,999 - Careful! - Four, three, two... 400 00:34:44,083 --> 00:34:45,323 Stop it. 401 00:34:49,838 --> 00:34:51,048 You could have killed them. 402 00:34:51,423 --> 00:34:53,008 Victor, shut it down. 403 00:34:53,092 --> 00:34:54,093 I can't. 404 00:34:54,176 --> 00:34:55,177 "I can't." 405 00:34:55,261 --> 00:34:56,428 - Victor? - "Victor?" 406 00:34:56,595 --> 00:34:58,973 Voice command. Activate emergency shutdown. 407 00:34:59,181 --> 00:35:00,808 Code word, elinore. 408 00:35:02,768 --> 00:35:03,768 Get out of here. 409 00:35:03,811 --> 00:35:05,020 - I'm sorry? - Go. 410 00:35:06,230 --> 00:35:08,232 Look at me. Look at my face. 411 00:35:08,357 --> 00:35:10,192 I want you to always remember this. 412 00:35:10,359 --> 00:35:11,610 Ernest Franklin, 413 00:35:11,860 --> 00:35:13,862 the man who defeated cyborg. 414 00:35:16,115 --> 00:35:19,034 I wonder, who will play me in the movie? 415 00:35:20,369 --> 00:35:22,037 It's okay. Just let him go. 416 00:35:46,812 --> 00:35:47,896 "Spring has sprung, 417 00:35:48,522 --> 00:35:50,065 and life is returning. 418 00:35:50,566 --> 00:35:53,235 I have chosen to remain here in the north." 419 00:36:05,581 --> 00:36:08,000 "This is no longer a journey of scientific discovery 420 00:36:08,083 --> 00:36:10,169 but an exploration of something deeper. 421 00:36:10,961 --> 00:36:13,339 Something within myself. 422 00:36:14,089 --> 00:36:15,758 There is nothing but the hunt, 423 00:36:15,924 --> 00:36:17,426 nothing but the thrill... 424 00:36:18,427 --> 00:36:19,553 And peril... 425 00:36:21,347 --> 00:36:22,890 Of survival. 426 00:36:25,351 --> 00:36:26,810 It's liberating." 427 00:36:51,668 --> 00:36:53,087 "Days pass into months. 428 00:36:53,170 --> 00:36:54,963 Months pass into years. 429 00:36:55,047 --> 00:36:57,466 My old life fades. 430 00:36:57,800 --> 00:36:59,927 My new life feels... 431 00:37:01,387 --> 00:37:02,471 Eternal." 432 00:37:05,265 --> 00:37:09,520 I'll home to me parents confess what I've done 433 00:37:10,062 --> 00:37:14,274 and ask them to pardon their prodigal son 434 00:37:14,900 --> 00:37:19,780 and when they've caressed me as ofttimes before 435 00:37:20,114 --> 00:37:26,787 I never will play the wild rover no more 436 00:37:26,995 --> 00:37:30,874 and it's no, nay, never 437 00:37:31,625 --> 00:37:34,169 No, nay, never no more 438 00:37:35,045 --> 00:37:38,674 will I play the wild rover 439 00:37:39,341 --> 00:37:42,136 no never no more 440 00:37:51,061 --> 00:37:52,187 Hello, old friend. 441 00:37:55,274 --> 00:37:57,901 I can't believe you're alive after all this time. 442 00:38:00,154 --> 00:38:01,989 Did you know that I went to your funeral? 443 00:38:03,615 --> 00:38:04,615 Hmm. 444 00:38:06,869 --> 00:38:08,036 Niles, I'm sorry. 445 00:38:09,037 --> 00:38:10,397 I shouldn't have left you up here. 446 00:38:10,706 --> 00:38:13,667 If anyone should be asking forgiveness, alistair, it's me. 447 00:38:14,710 --> 00:38:15,794 Those scars. 448 00:38:17,838 --> 00:38:19,548 In fact, I should be thanking you. 449 00:38:20,591 --> 00:38:22,509 I finally found where I belong. 450 00:38:26,054 --> 00:38:28,557 You can't possibly plan on staying out here. 451 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,893 Ah, the bureau will manage fine without me. 452 00:38:31,602 --> 00:38:33,562 You've been gone a long time, niles. 453 00:38:34,271 --> 00:38:35,481 The world's changed. 454 00:38:35,981 --> 00:38:36,899 We're at war. 455 00:38:36,982 --> 00:38:38,066 A great war. 456 00:38:39,318 --> 00:38:40,777 Worst anyone's ever seen. 457 00:38:41,278 --> 00:38:42,278 I didn't know. 458 00:38:43,030 --> 00:38:44,031 We had no choice. 459 00:38:44,406 --> 00:38:46,158 Organization had to change. 460 00:38:46,617 --> 00:38:48,160 Mission had to evolve. 461 00:38:48,494 --> 00:38:50,996 Odd is out. Normal is in. 462 00:38:51,246 --> 00:38:52,246 What does that mean? 463 00:38:53,415 --> 00:38:54,415 The mission. 464 00:38:55,584 --> 00:38:57,878 We still seek out that which is abnormal, 465 00:38:58,545 --> 00:39:00,214 only now we exterminate. 466 00:39:05,093 --> 00:39:06,261 You've been gone, niles. 467 00:39:07,137 --> 00:39:09,181 The world no longer needs explorers. 468 00:39:09,264 --> 00:39:11,600 The world always needs explorers. 469 00:39:18,941 --> 00:39:21,276 Tell me, how did you do it, survive out here? 470 00:39:22,778 --> 00:39:23,904 I was fortunate. 471 00:39:26,240 --> 00:39:28,784 I found the bodies of those two missing hunters. 472 00:39:28,951 --> 00:39:31,787 They had equipment, gear, enough for me to survive. 473 00:39:32,412 --> 00:39:33,412 I foraged. 474 00:39:33,664 --> 00:39:34,915 And I learned to hunt. 475 00:39:37,668 --> 00:39:39,127 Winters were difficult. 476 00:39:39,711 --> 00:39:41,088 I managed to find shelter. 477 00:39:41,463 --> 00:39:44,216 Well, I sure had the wrong impression of you, niles caulder. 478 00:39:48,679 --> 00:39:50,556 Your hairy little girlfriend. 479 00:39:53,308 --> 00:39:56,520 She didn't have anything to do with your miraculous survival, did she? 480 00:39:58,063 --> 00:39:59,106 Don't deny it. 481 00:39:59,982 --> 00:40:00,982 I've seen her. 482 00:40:01,817 --> 00:40:03,068 I've been tracking her. 483 00:40:04,027 --> 00:40:05,027 She's good. 484 00:40:06,446 --> 00:40:07,864 Haven't found her nest. 485 00:40:11,702 --> 00:40:12,953 Why don't you show me? 486 00:40:19,084 --> 00:40:20,752 What the hell happened back there? 487 00:40:21,628 --> 00:40:22,628 Just a glitch. 488 00:40:22,879 --> 00:40:23,879 Victor. 489 00:40:25,215 --> 00:40:26,215 Something's wrong. 490 00:40:29,678 --> 00:40:30,678 With me. 491 00:40:32,264 --> 00:40:34,057 Ever since my reset button got pushed, 492 00:40:34,725 --> 00:40:36,184 something's been wrong in my system. 493 00:40:37,185 --> 00:40:38,186 And it's getting worse. 494 00:40:38,687 --> 00:40:40,272 Did you ask your father for help? 495 00:40:40,772 --> 00:40:41,940 I can't trust my dad. 496 00:40:42,107 --> 00:40:43,501 If I ask him for help, he would just 497 00:40:43,525 --> 00:40:45,611 take control of my whole system and never let go. 498 00:40:45,694 --> 00:40:46,778 He's not like niles. 499 00:40:47,362 --> 00:40:48,447 He's, uh... 500 00:40:50,365 --> 00:40:52,075 I gotta handle this whole thing on my own. 501 00:40:53,702 --> 00:40:56,079 What are you going to do about it, then? 502 00:40:56,496 --> 00:40:58,790 We can't keep blowing up the mansion every other day. 503 00:40:58,874 --> 00:40:59,874 I can fix it. 504 00:41:01,043 --> 00:41:02,043 I promise. 505 00:41:02,711 --> 00:41:03,754 But don't tell anyone yet. 506 00:41:04,254 --> 00:41:05,398 They rest of the team can't know. 507 00:41:05,422 --> 00:41:08,925 They'll worry I'm turning into that psychopath in Jane's painting. 508 00:41:11,511 --> 00:41:14,389 What are the rest of us supposed to do in the meantime? 509 00:41:15,641 --> 00:41:16,642 We need you. 510 00:41:16,725 --> 00:41:17,934 We need the chief. 511 00:41:19,102 --> 00:41:20,729 As ridiculous as it sounds, 512 00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:22,880 our best chance of finding him just 513 00:41:22,981 --> 00:41:24,775 kicked my ass with some beard magic. 514 00:41:27,402 --> 00:41:29,237 Thank goodness I was able to stick him 515 00:41:29,321 --> 00:41:33,659 with that tracking doohickey thing of yours before he got away. 516 00:41:33,742 --> 00:41:34,742 You're kidding. 517 00:41:34,993 --> 00:41:35,993 Mmm. 518 00:41:36,370 --> 00:41:38,413 Rita farr, you're amazing. 519 00:41:39,122 --> 00:41:40,290 Fix yourself up quick. 520 00:41:40,374 --> 00:41:41,792 Once you're back online, 521 00:41:41,875 --> 00:41:44,211 we'll track down the beard hunter together. 522 00:41:44,795 --> 00:41:46,463 Thank you. 523 00:41:53,804 --> 00:41:55,097 Welcome back, Jane. 524 00:41:57,432 --> 00:41:58,432 Give her some room. 525 00:42:01,561 --> 00:42:03,271 What the hell happened here? 526 00:42:04,981 --> 00:42:06,108 Long story. 527 00:42:13,949 --> 00:42:15,117 What happened in there? 528 00:42:17,953 --> 00:42:19,496 It's not my story to tell. 529 00:42:21,748 --> 00:42:22,748 I get it. 530 00:42:32,008 --> 00:42:33,008 Fortunate. 531 00:42:33,301 --> 00:42:36,012 That monster you and I were after all these years 532 00:42:36,096 --> 00:42:39,307 turned out to be nothing more than a hairy little troll. 533 00:42:41,977 --> 00:42:43,562 After last time, 534 00:42:43,687 --> 00:42:46,815 I traveled north with half a dozen men for protection. 535 00:42:51,445 --> 00:42:52,738 Seems silly now. 536 00:42:54,573 --> 00:42:55,574 How did you find her? 537 00:42:56,908 --> 00:42:57,909 She found me. 538 00:42:59,828 --> 00:43:02,080 The bureau will give me an award for this one. 539 00:43:03,498 --> 00:43:04,499 Both of us. 540 00:43:05,834 --> 00:43:06,834 Did you hear that? 541 00:43:08,003 --> 00:43:09,003 Hear what? 542 00:43:09,337 --> 00:43:10,714 I believe the word is... 543 00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:12,924 Horkon. 544 00:43:21,349 --> 00:43:23,101 I'm not the man you remember. 545 00:43:23,393 --> 00:43:24,393 Help me! 546 00:43:24,728 --> 00:43:26,229 No one can know about her. 547 00:43:26,980 --> 00:43:30,233 She's my secret to protect from the world. 548 00:43:30,317 --> 00:43:31,317 Help! 549 00:43:40,410 --> 00:43:41,453 Oyewah. 550 00:44:41,096 --> 00:44:44,015 My journey to the north was fraught with peril. 551 00:44:44,266 --> 00:44:45,851 It came at a great cost. 552 00:44:47,352 --> 00:44:50,272 But I'm pleased to report to the gentlemen of the bureau that, 553 00:44:51,481 --> 00:44:54,651 whilst my experience was unique, 554 00:44:55,569 --> 00:44:57,696 there is nothing odd to report. 555 00:44:58,613 --> 00:45:00,574 There is no monster to speak of. 556 00:45:03,618 --> 00:45:05,328 I was alone for many years. 557 00:45:07,372 --> 00:45:09,457 But in that time, I did make a discovery. 558 00:45:11,126 --> 00:45:14,713 I discovered the strength inside myself to survive... 559 00:45:16,298 --> 00:45:18,091 And to outwit... 560 00:45:18,967 --> 00:45:20,468 And outlast... 561 00:45:21,428 --> 00:45:24,639 Whatever true monsters this world has to offer. 562 00:45:28,852 --> 00:45:29,852 Thank you. 563 00:45:52,417 --> 00:45:54,920 Well, what do you know? Even I discovered something today. 564 00:45:55,003 --> 00:45:57,339 Didn't know you've been eavesdropping on my memories. 565 00:45:57,422 --> 00:45:58,482 Haven't you noticed? 566 00:45:58,506 --> 00:46:01,343 I'm crafting a story piece by piece. 567 00:46:01,676 --> 00:46:03,762 The search for the chief. This... 568 00:46:04,512 --> 00:46:07,682 Unexpected wet dream of yours, 569 00:46:08,516 --> 00:46:10,727 this is a very important chapter. 570 00:46:10,810 --> 00:46:14,189 It's the day niles caulder changed forever. 571 00:46:14,856 --> 00:46:16,250 Don't know what you're talking about. 572 00:46:16,274 --> 00:46:17,359 Oh, don't you? 573 00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:19,945 Well, what did we learn? 574 00:46:20,028 --> 00:46:21,738 You murdered your friend 575 00:46:21,821 --> 00:46:25,283 and left your dream girl behind, all for what? 576 00:46:26,368 --> 00:46:27,369 True love? 577 00:46:31,456 --> 00:46:33,041 More secrets. 578 00:46:34,292 --> 00:46:35,292 Hmm. 579 00:46:35,752 --> 00:46:38,338 More layers to the banana unpeeling. 580 00:46:40,465 --> 00:46:43,635 Secrets have a cost. Look at what they've cost you. 581 00:46:45,387 --> 00:46:49,599 Look at what the search for you has cost them, 582 00:46:49,683 --> 00:46:52,811 your band of bargain-bin action figures. 583 00:46:52,894 --> 00:46:54,771 They're stronger than you think. 584 00:46:54,854 --> 00:46:59,150 I'm counting on it. But you and I both know, 585 00:46:59,234 --> 00:47:02,112 there's no way they all make it to the finish line. 586 00:47:06,116 --> 00:47:09,202 You've always been a man comfortable with compromise, niles. 587 00:47:09,285 --> 00:47:12,080 I mean, after all, you fell in love with a Canadian. 588 00:47:12,372 --> 00:47:13,790 Let's play a game. 589 00:47:15,417 --> 00:47:16,918 Answer one question, 590 00:47:17,043 --> 00:47:18,586 and all this goes away. 591 00:47:20,255 --> 00:47:21,548 You go home. 592 00:47:21,631 --> 00:47:24,259 Yes, your precious family will survive. 593 00:47:25,427 --> 00:47:28,179 There'll be chocolate cake, balloons. 594 00:47:28,263 --> 00:47:29,931 Just answer one question. 595 00:47:32,517 --> 00:47:35,770 Where is the girl? 596 00:47:36,521 --> 00:47:38,398 I don't know what you mean. 597 00:47:38,481 --> 00:47:41,109 That's what all this has been about, hasn't it? 598 00:47:42,110 --> 00:47:43,570 All this time. 599 00:47:43,653 --> 00:47:48,658 Your foolish quest to live forever. All to keep her safe. 600 00:47:48,742 --> 00:47:50,035 You're wrong. 601 00:47:52,037 --> 00:47:55,165 You and I have been doing this dance for a long time, niles. 602 00:47:55,248 --> 00:47:57,375 I don't know how, and I don't know why, 603 00:47:57,459 --> 00:47:59,461 but somehow, 604 00:47:59,544 --> 00:48:03,006 you've managed to keep a hairy little secret away from me, 605 00:48:03,089 --> 00:48:04,507 and I want the truth. 606 00:48:05,175 --> 00:48:06,801 Where is she? 607 00:48:08,553 --> 00:48:10,221 Tell me. 608 00:48:10,305 --> 00:48:12,345 Think about what will happen to them if you don't... 609 00:48:15,143 --> 00:48:19,689 No. I don't care what you do to them. 610 00:48:20,482 --> 00:48:24,652 I will never give you the satisfaction of breaking me. 611 00:48:25,987 --> 00:48:28,073 Now, that is the niles caulder that I know. 612 00:48:51,221 --> 00:48:52,615 Hey, mama, it's Ernest. 613 00:48:52,639 --> 00:48:54,182 My mission was a huge success, 614 00:48:54,265 --> 00:48:56,267 I guess I'm a legit supervillain now. 615 00:48:56,351 --> 00:48:58,895 Anyway, been tracking niles caulder's beard here for days, 616 00:48:58,978 --> 00:49:01,689 but I'm getting closer. I can smell it. 617 00:49:01,773 --> 00:49:02,982 All right, be home soon. 618 00:49:04,109 --> 00:49:06,462 Hi, Ernie. Sorry I missed your call. 619 00:49:06,486 --> 00:49:10,115 So exciting about the beard-hair thing. 620 00:49:10,198 --> 00:49:12,158 Hope you're making lots of friends. 621 00:49:12,242 --> 00:49:14,786 Anyway, I love you. Come home soon. 622 00:49:14,869 --> 00:49:16,788 Also, I need the car back. 623 00:49:21,209 --> 00:49:22,210 Finally. 624 00:49:27,757 --> 00:49:30,218 Oh, hello, there. 625 00:49:30,802 --> 00:49:31,802 Who are you? 626 00:49:32,554 --> 00:49:34,180 Have you come to play with me? 627 00:49:35,181 --> 00:49:37,600 I like your costume.