1
00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:05,838
I'm thinking about growing a goatee.

2
00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:09,258
Actually that's a Van Dyke.
A goatee is just hair on the chin.

3
00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:12,344
Oh. Wait, then what is it
if you just have hair up here?

4
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:13,512
You mean a mustache?

5
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,080
- Moo-stache!
- (SHOUTS) He said it!

6
00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:17,891
Ha-ha, very funny.
Make fun of the foreign guy.

7
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,352
For your information,
there are four times as many Indians

8
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,438
as there are Americans,
so the way we say it is right.

9
00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:23,814
- Say what?
- Moo-stache.

10
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,783
- (SHOUTS) Moo-stache!
- He said "moo-stache".

11
00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:28,277
Guys, you're being childish.

12
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:31,572
She's right. You're grown men,
the kind who are perfectly capable

13
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,449
of growing your own moo-staches.

14
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:34,533
(LAUGHS)

15
00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:37,995
Hey, you were funny
on purpose, good job.

16
00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:41,623
Hi. Sorry I'm late.
I was at an audition.

17
00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:43,959
- I'm sorry.
- You'll get 'em next time.

18
00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:49,214
How about instead of assuming I
failed, you ask me how it went?

19
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:50,758
Sorry. How did it go?

20
00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:52,342
Just shut up.

21
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:54,296
Here, you can have your seat.

22
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:56,221
No, no, stay there.
I'm fine on the floor.

23
00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:59,331
Have you guys ever thought about
getting a dining room table?

24
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,935
Yeah. You actually do have
room for one up there.

25
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,938
Sure, I sit on the floor
for years, no one cares.

26
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:06,315
The pretty white girl's
there ten seconds,

27
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:08,650
and suddenly we're
all running to IKEA.

28
00:01:10,111 --> 00:01:11,820
No one is running anywhere.

29
00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:13,781
We're not getting
a dining room table.

30
00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:16,658
I know you don't like change,
but it's not a terrible idea.

31
00:01:16,826 --> 00:01:18,410
You guys never use
that space up there.

32
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:19,578
Why not get a table?

33
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,663
Do you want the long answer
or the short answer?

34
00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:23,749
How come we never get that option?

35
00:01:25,376 --> 00:01:29,004
Chaos theory suggests that
even in a deterministic system,

36
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:32,091
if the equations describing
its behavior are nonlinear,

37
00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:34,343
a tiny change
in the initial conditions

38
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:37,638
can lead to a cataclysmic
and unpredictable result.

39
00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:39,139
Translation?

40
00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:41,475
(IMITATES BABY)
Wah! I don't want a table!

41
00:01:45,688 --> 00:01:47,898
(THEME SONG)

42
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:13,340
Hey, Penny and I are gonna go
shop for a dining room table.

43
00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:14,675
You want to come with us?

44
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:18,595
I'd love to, but, I'm too busy

45
00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:21,932
falling back in love
with Windows 98.

46
00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:25,894
Seriously? You haven't used
this desk in years.

47
00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:28,063
The second I want to get rid of it,
you're up here working?

48
00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:29,606
I can't talk right now.

49
00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:32,234
I have several thousand updates
to install.

50
00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:34,945
Are you really
gonna sit here all day?

51
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:37,489
Think of me as Arthur Dent in

52
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,700
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy,

53
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:42,744
lying in front of the bulldozers
to protect his home.

54
00:02:42,912 --> 00:02:46,165
If you'll recall, the Vogon fleet
blew up the Earth anyway.

55
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,972
It's a made-up story. I don't even
know why you're talking about it.

56
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:53,005
I'm putting all this stuff
in storage. We don't need any of it.

57
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:54,840
How can you say that?

58
00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:58,343
You show me one thing
in here we can live without.

59
00:02:58,428 --> 00:02:59,928
Hang on.

60
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,017
Check your in-box.

61
00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:09,563
Wait. Is this really worth it?

62
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:13,609
We've lived together for years
with nary an argument.

63
00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:14,776
Huh?

64
00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:16,737
But we start talking about a table,

65
00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,947
and suddenly we're
at each other's throats.

66
00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:22,367
"Nary an argument"?

67
00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:26,205
"Nary"?

68
00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:29,291
That means "not one," or "not any".

69
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,878
Maybe instead of a table,
you should buy a dictionary.

70
00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:39,551
I don't know if I won that,
but at least he's upset.

71
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,638
Check it out.

72
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,184
Magic wand TV remote!

73
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,811
Yeah, I can control
all sorts of stuff.

74
00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:51,355
Did Bernadette think it was cool?

75
00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:54,650
Not when I said "mute"
and pointed it at her face.

76
00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:56,485
Let me try.

77
00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:00,447
Channelis changeroni!

78
00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:01,615
(TV STARTS TO PLAY)

79
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:05,077
This might be my second
favorite brown magic wand.

80
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,709
Well, that's the last time
I play with that.

81
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:15,796
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

82
00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:18,048
I have to take this.

83
00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:20,259
HOWARD: Hello?

84
00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:22,803
Off. (TV STOPS)

85
00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:24,554
And on. (TV STARTS)

86
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,398
And the Oprah Network.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

87
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,269
This is so much better than
watching TV like a muggle.

88
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:35,107
Okay. Thank you.
We'll be in touch.

89
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:38,986
You're not gonna believe this.

90
00:04:39,862 --> 00:04:40,946
What's going on?

91
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:43,156
Wait.

92
00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:45,367
On!

93
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,994
And off!

94
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:50,289
What's going on?

95
00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:55,377
That was NASA.

96
00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:58,839
They want me to go
back up to the space station.

97
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,508
Wow. What did you tell them?

98
00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:03,176
I told them I'd be honored.

99
00:05:04,053 --> 00:05:06,596
A second trip to space.
I'll miss you.

100
00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:08,140
And I'm gonna miss you, too.

101
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,308
I just want you to know,

102
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,310
I'm happy to look in on Bernadette
while you're gone.

103
00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:12,519
Thank you.

104
00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:13,895
And if anything were to happen
to you,

105
00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:16,023
we will name our
firstborn son Howard.

106
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:19,401
I'm just kidding.

107
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,249
We'll name him Dalib,
after my grandfather.

108
00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:26,408
This one looks nice.

109
00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:29,202
No. Sheldon doesn't like
reclaimed wood.

110
00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:31,288
Why not?

111
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:33,999
He's afraid the original owners
will come back.

112
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:37,252
Well, Sheldon's not here.

113
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,628
Well, he is here.

114
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:42,674
Unless you want to dig him out
with a bone saw and a melon baller,

115
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,760
there's nothing I can do about it.

116
00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:46,847
All right, sweetie,
you're paying for this table,

117
00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:48,089
and it's your apartment, too.

118
00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:49,765
- I know, but...
- No buts.

119
00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:52,517
You got to stop
letting him boss you around.

120
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:55,937
You're right. I mean,
he decides what TV shows we watch,

121
00:05:56,105 --> 00:05:58,440
what food we eat,
who my favorite hobbit is.

122
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:00,650
I wanted Frodo,
but we can't both have Frodo,

123
00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:02,861
so guess who's stuck
with Samwise Gamgee.

124
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,406
See? Right there.
You're a grown man,

125
00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:08,742
you should be able to pick
whichever hobbit you want.

126
00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:12,621
Wish you wouldn't,
but one problem at a time.

127
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,958
You make a lot of sense.

128
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:19,795
I like this table,
and I'm getting it.

129
00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:21,963
Really? This one?

130
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,467
That one?

131
00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:27,594
Damn right I like that one.

132
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:33,433
- Hey.
- Good news.

133
00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:37,312
Someone in this room
gets to take a ride on a rocket.

134
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,232
Fine.
Can I at least shower first?

135
00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:42,442
No, not that.

136
00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:44,650
Although you already agreed
to it, so no take-backs.

137
00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:46,235
What are you talking about?

138
00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:47,656
Sit down.

139
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:50,409
NASA called.

140
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:53,537
The telescope mount
I installed on the space station

141
00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:58,041
got damaged, and they want me
to go back up and fix it.

142
00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:00,460
Wow.

143
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,671
Well, what did you say?

144
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,382
What do you think I...?
I said yes!

145
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:06,548
Why do you look surprised?

146
00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:08,343
Well, it's just, after last time,

147
00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:10,178
I didn't think you'd
ever want to go back.

148
00:07:10,304 --> 00:07:13,432
Are you kidding? It was the greatest
experience of my life.

149
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:16,560
Really? 'Cause I kind of
remember a lot of complaining

150
00:07:16,727 --> 00:07:18,854
and wishing for it to be over.

151
00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:21,314
I think you have me confused

152
00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:24,067
with what's gonna happen when
you get out of that shower.

153
00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:30,699
Hey, all set.
What do you think?

154
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:33,743
There's plenty of room for everybody,
a view out the window.

155
00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:36,079
My spot on the couch
has a great view of a window.

156
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:39,040
Sometimes I can see
space battles through it.

157
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:40,292
It's called a TV.

158
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:44,713
Give it a chance, Sheldon,
you might actually like it.

159
00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:47,466
You're absolutely right.

160
00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:51,553
Nope.

161
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:56,224
Well, you can't say he
didn't give it a fair shot.

162
00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:58,059
So, when can we get rid of it?

163
00:07:58,186 --> 00:07:59,186
We're not.

164
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,146
What about the roommate agreement?

165
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,107
It specifically states
that any changes in furnishing

166
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:06,234
have to be approved
by the Furnishing Committee.

167
00:08:06,402 --> 00:08:08,528
Which only sits on alternate years.

168
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:11,323
Yeah, and by the way,
it sits over there.

169
00:08:12,116 --> 00:08:13,700
Come on, that is ridiculous.

170
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:16,995
She's right. A committee that
important should meet more often.

171
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:18,955
That's not what I'm saying.

172
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,833
This is the thing
about me standing up to him

173
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:23,281
and not letting him run my life?

174
00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:24,544
Yes.

175
00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:26,171
That.

176
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:29,841
Okay. I think we've
found the problem here.

177
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,760
It's not the table at all.

178
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:32,969
It's you.

179
00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:34,262
Me?

180
00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:36,431
It's always me,
take one for the team.

181
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,559
I have spent years
turning this lump of clay

182
00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:41,811
into an acceptable conduit
for my will,

183
00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:44,397
and then you came along
and reshaped him,

184
00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:47,734
with your newfangled ideas
and your fancy genitals.

185
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:51,112
Are you gonna let him
talk to me like this?

186
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:53,365
"Fancy" sounds like a compliment.

187
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:55,867
Okay, I have not tried
to change Leonard.

188
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,675
That's just what happens
in relationships.

189
00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,454
Look how much Amy's changed you.

190
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:01,623
- That's not true.
- Please.

191
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,458
When I first met you,
you were incapable

192
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,001
of touching another human being.

193
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,671
Now you're holding hands,
you're going on dates,

194
00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:09,839
you even made out with her
on a train.

195
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:11,591
She told you?

196
00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:13,552
Of course she told me,
it's the most interesting thing

197
00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:15,560
that's ever happened to
her in her entire life!

198
00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:20,559
You're too close to it,
but Amy has had a huge impact on you.

199
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,144
You're right.

200
00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:26,022
Without realizing it,
I've allowed that woman

201
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:27,774
to alter my personality.

202
00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:30,151
Sheldon, you didn't
have a personality,

203
00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:32,070
you just had some shows you liked.

204
00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:36,032
No.

205
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,742
No, I've changed.

206
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:40,120
Like the frog who's put
in a pot of water

207
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,621
that's heated so gradually

208
00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:43,915
he doesn't realize
he's boiling to death.

209
00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:46,126
Or you're the frog who's
been kissed by a princess

210
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:47,460
and turned into a prince.

211
00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:49,921
Or you're just a tall, annoying frog.

212
00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:52,257
Excuse me.

213
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:54,175
I have to break up
with my girlfriend.

214
00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:56,678
- Sheldon, wait.
- No.

215
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,014
You've opened my eyes to the truth.

216
00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:03,059
Amy has made me a more affectionate,
open-minded person.

217
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:06,396
And that stops now.

218
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,692
- We should call her.
- Yeah.

219
00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:15,488
Amy, it's Penny. Hey.
Just a little heads-up.

220
00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:17,949
Leonard bought a dining room table.

221
00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:20,368
Yeah. Sheldon's breaking up with you.

222
00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:27,751
Amy? Amy?

223
00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:29,711
Amy?

224
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,921
I'll get right to the point.

225
00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:35,258
I think we need to end this
relationship, so...

226
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:38,094
Just sign this
with your finger, and...

227
00:10:38,262 --> 00:10:42,599
please don't cry on my iPad.
I didn't get AppleCare.

228
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:45,769
I'm not surprised you want
to end the relationship.

229
00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:48,480
I'm a little surprised
you didn't get AppleCare.

230
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:52,233
Anyway, enjoy your life.
Where do I sign?

231
00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:54,069
At the bottom. I must say,

232
00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:56,696
I'm relieved you're not making
more of a scene out of this.

233
00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:58,239
I've already moved on.

234
00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:01,326
Besides, this breakup has
nothing to do with me.

235
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:02,410
It doesn't?

236
00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:04,621
Of course not.
This is just Leonard

237
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,165
trying to take the focus
off that dreadful table

238
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,958
by sowing discord
in our relationship.

239
00:11:09,126 --> 00:11:11,378
He's manipulating you
like he always does.

240
00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:14,422
Wait, now, hang on.

241
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:16,966
You think he manipulates me?

242
00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:18,176
All the time.

243
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:22,347
And he knew that as your girlfriend,
I wasn't gonna stand by

244
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,849
and let him bring a table
into your apartment.

245
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:27,102
I mean, a table? Come on!

246
00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:31,106
It is hideous.

247
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,566
Well, thankfully,
I won't have to see it,

248
00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:35,374
'cause I won't be your
girlfriend anymore.

249
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,571
Amy Farrah Fowler.

250
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,282
Why, yes, I would like
to take a survey.

251
00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:42,951
Wait.

252
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:47,247
You were really gonna stand by me
against the dining room table?

253
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,083
Of course I was.

254
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,460
Wait.

255
00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:56,047
How do I know that you're
not manipulating me right now?

256
00:11:57,591 --> 00:12:00,468
I think if I were manipulating you,
you'd be smart enough to see it.

257
00:12:02,638 --> 00:12:05,765
How do I know you're not saying that
as part of the manipulation?

258
00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:09,436
I think you'd be smart
enough to see that, too.

259
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:13,773
Okay.

260
00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:16,925
I'm sorry I gave you such a hard
time, I just had to be sure.

261
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:23,908
It's pretty exciting that NASA
wants to send Howard back up.

262
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,660
Yeah, exciting.

263
00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:27,829
Can I ask you something?

264
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,247
Course.

265
00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:31,583
He hated that entire experience.

266
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,042
Does it make me an awful wife

267
00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:34,836
if I don't think he
should do it again?

268
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,254
Not at all.

269
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:39,507
He's forgotten how miserable he was
the entire time he was up there.

270
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:43,344
It's like me in those moments
when I miss India.

271
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:45,388
So you'll talk to him?

272
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:46,556
Why me?

273
00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,725
I'm his wife,
I don't want to ruin it for him.

274
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:51,644
That's the dynamic. I'm the
fun one, you're the buzzkill.

275
00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:53,897
Since when am I the buzzkill?

276
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:56,851
- Do you think this is cool?
- No, I think it's stupid.

277
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,109
Aha!

278
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,613
You're right, it's great.

279
00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:07,744
- Hello.
- Hey.

280
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:09,078
You guys didn't break up.

281
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:13,041
No. Sorry to disappoint you,
but Amy pointed out

282
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:14,918
that you we only trying
to manipulate me.

283
00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:16,211
Which you also
figured out by yourself.

284
00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:18,463
Which I also figured out by myself.

285
00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:21,737
Well, I'm glad you're still together.

286
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,552
Okay, you can stop trying
to make this about our relationship.

287
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,263
- Which is stronger than ever.
- Which is stronger than ever.

288
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:30,975
This is about you
trying to change my environment,

289
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:32,894
which was perfect the way it was.

290
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:35,814
But it got the way it was
through change.

291
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:39,317
The spot that you love to sit in,
that no one else can sit in,

292
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:43,988
only exists because, despite your
objections, I bought this couch.

293
00:13:44,114 --> 00:13:48,993
Me. So explain why that change
was bad and this change was good.

294
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,455
Um...

295
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,250
You don't need to
explain yourself to him.

296
00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:57,627
I don't need to explain
myself to you!

297
00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:00,995
You're sick of his nonsense
and ready to move in with me.

298
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,924
Keep the table!
We don't use that space!

299
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:10,849
Damn it, I got cocky.

300
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:16,437
Hey, Bernie.
I'm home... Hello.

301
00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:17,647
Hi, honey.

302
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,023
What's going on?

303
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,234
Maybe you should have a seat.

304
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:23,987
Okay.

305
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:26,155
I know my mom's not dead,
there'd be balloons.

306
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:32,245
First off, know that
we all love you and cherish you.

307
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:34,247
- Well, I wouldn't...
- Daddy.

308
00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,791
You're great.

309
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,753
- Can I say something?
- Of course.

310
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:44,424
Hey, Fruit Loops.

311
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,302
Massimino?
Why are you here?

312
00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:50,430
I heard you were thinking about going
back up to the space station,

313
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,807
and as someone
who's been there with you...

314
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:55,375
well, you know how astronauts
need to have the "right stuff"?

315
00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:56,853
Sure.

316
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,897
The stuff you have is wrong.

317
00:15:02,484 --> 00:15:04,903
You don't think
I did a good job up there?

318
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,446
You did a fine job.

319
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:09,407
It's just, you were scared
and miserable the whole time.

320
00:15:10,492 --> 00:15:13,372
I think what we're all trying to say
is, you don't seem to be remembering

321
00:15:13,537 --> 00:15:15,538
how traumatic the experience
was for you.

322
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:18,917
Like how women often forget
the pain of childbirth.

323
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,377
Like a woman. Great analogy.

324
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:25,214
Fine, maybe I was a little scared.

325
00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:27,300
You peed in your space suit.

326
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,510
You're supposed to do that.

327
00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:31,638
Not during the fitting.

328
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:36,017
Son, do I need to remind you
what you asked me to do

329
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:37,810
before you went up last time?

330
00:15:37,978 --> 00:15:40,688
Hang on.
That was just me joking around.

331
00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:43,191
You wanted me to shoot you
in the foot.

332
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,361
Come on, how is that not a joke?

333
00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:48,648
"You got to get me out of this.
Shoot me in the foot."

334
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,201
Don't forget all the other
astronauts picking on you.

335
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,370
And how you threw up
in zero gravity,

336
00:15:55,537 --> 00:15:57,246
and it floated back in your mouth.

337
00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:01,501
And you threw up again.
And so on and so on.

338
00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:05,505
That was funny.

339
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,218
Okay, so I wasn't
exactly John Glenn up there,

340
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:13,262
but I've changed,
I'm a different man now.

341
00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:17,392
I'm a little insulted that you guys
don't think I can handle it.

342
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:20,119
You know you're gonna have to go
through survival training again.

343
00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:21,396
Really?

344
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:23,815
You've got to get me out of this!

345
00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:26,317
What do you want me to do?
You're perfectly healthy.

346
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:28,152
Check my blood pressure again!

347
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,405
I can get it higher,
just give me a second.

348
00:16:32,908 --> 00:16:35,159
- MRS. WOLOWITZ: Hello?
- Hi, Ma. How are you?

349
00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:37,996
(YELLS) How I am is not dead!

350
00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:40,540
But you wouldn't know that,
because you don't love me enough

351
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,000
to pick up the phone!

352
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:43,584
(WHISPERS) Go, go, go!

353
00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:48,089
For all you know, I could have
slipped in the tub and drowned!

354
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:50,341
That's what happened
to your Aunt Ida!

355
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:53,678
Wow.

356
00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:00,768
Howard, I'm so sorry your blood
pressure was off the charts.

357
00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:04,605
Me, too. The doctor was willing
to fudge the results,

358
00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:07,984
but it just seemed
so darned dishonest.

359
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,409
But the mission wouldn't be
for at least a year.

360
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,323
Isn't that enough time to get
your blood pressure under...

361
00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:16,909
My blood pressure's too high, okay?
Drop it.

362
00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:21,539
You know, my aunt changed her diet,
and in a few months, she...

363
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:24,292
Went to space? I don't think so.
Now, pass the soy sauce.

364
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:25,835
Not the green one, the red one.

365
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,214
Sheldon, Amy,
will you please come join us?

366
00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:31,632
It's fun up here.

367
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,177
So why are you trying to ruin it?

368
00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:37,388
No, thanks. We're fine.

369
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:39,515
I mean, if you people
want to eat at the table,

370
00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:41,517
then that's what you should do.

371
00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:43,227
I like eating down here

372
00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:45,980
because this is how
we've always done things.

373
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:48,357
But if those days are gone,
they're gone.

374
00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:51,069
It just makes me sad.

375
00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:53,988
Now I feel bad.

376
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:56,574
Don't anthropomorphize him,
he's got big eyes,

377
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,951
but his feelings are not like ours.

378
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:04,290
No, it just seems silly
for us to sit in two groups.

379
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,209
It's not silly
if you think of that group

380
00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:08,878
as being led by a big, evil baby.

381
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:15,802
Look at Amy down there.

382
00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:17,970
Should we go?

383
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:19,889
Let's go.

384
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:21,599
Penny, this was your idea.

385
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,518
You said that I should
stand up to him.

386
00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:24,977
Forget it, Leonard.

387
00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:26,604
It's over.

388
00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:28,898
Fine.

389
00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:36,697
Rajesh?

390
00:18:36,865 --> 00:18:38,533
Screw that! I sat
on the floor for seven years.

391
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,368
I'm staying right here!

392
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,996
Come on, Raj,
it's not the same without you.

393
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:46,707
Fine.

394
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,586
But no more making fun
of how I say tings.

395
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:53,339
You mean "tings"
like "moo-stache"?

396
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,681
Well, isn't this nice.

397
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:06,018
Sometimes the baby wins.

398
00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:32,879
(ENGLISH - US TEMPLATE)