1 00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:06,422 Item 28: your pet name for me. 2 00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:09,883 Time's running out on this. You need to make a decision. 3 00:00:10,051 --> 00:00:12,261 I submitted you a notarized list. 4 00:00:12,929 --> 00:00:15,889 I'm sorry, but "Gollum" and "Flakey" are not acceptable. 5 00:00:16,474 --> 00:00:18,726 Well, you don't like "Princess Corncob" 6 00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:22,062 you don't like "Fester," you're just impossible to please. 7 00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:23,647 We'll come back to that one. 8 00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:25,345 This brings us to the final item 9 00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:27,735 in our annual State of the Relationship summit. 10 00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:30,571 Item 29: Valentine's Day. 11 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:33,741 Ohh! The worst for last. 12 00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:36,618 Classic Flakey. 13 00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:39,413 Before you get upset, 14 00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:41,331 I believe I've come up with a way for us to celebrate 15 00:00:41,499 --> 00:00:43,083 the occasion that we both can enjoy. 16 00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:45,669 People usually start a meeting with a joke, 17 00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:48,047 but you go ahead, end with one. 18 00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:51,258 I propose we spend a weekend 19 00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,218 at a bed-and-breakfast in Napa Valley. 20 00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:55,929 I hate every word in that sentence. 21 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,434 Including "in" "at," "we" and "a." 22 00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:03,020 Come on, Sheldon. Why not? 23 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:05,731 For starters, a bed-and-breakfast forces you 24 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,859 - to eat with strangers at your table. - One step ahead of you. 25 00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:10,736 Bernadette and Wolowitz are going with us. 26 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,280 Very well. What are the sleeping arrangements? 27 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:15,991 We've only been dating for three years. 28 00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:18,952 If we were to share a room, people might talk. 29 00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:21,497 I got you your own room. 30 00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:23,499 What if my room has a claw-foot bathtub? 31 00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:26,586 It doesn't. I know it makes you feel like you're bathing inside a monster. 32 00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:31,673 Look, I appreciate the effort, but I'm still unclear 33 00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:35,010 how this trip is supposed to be enjoyable for me. 34 00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:37,054 We're going to have Valentine's Day dinner 35 00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:40,849 on a fully functioning vintage train. 36 00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:43,685 Vintage? Be specific. 37 00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:46,021 An Alcoa FA-4 diesel locomotive 38 00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:48,440 leading a train of meticulously restored 39 00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:51,110 1915 Pullman first-class coaches. 40 00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:53,195 Wow. 41 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:56,490 I'm feeling the urge to hug you. 42 00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:00,202 And one... and two... 43 00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:03,205 All right, Gollum, we're good. 44 00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:05,332 ♪ (THEME SONG) ♪ 45 00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:31,066 Are you sure you guys don't want to come with us to Napa? 46 00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:32,442 You could probably still get a room. 47 00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:35,028 No, I think we're just gonna have a quiet weekend at home. 48 00:02:35,196 --> 00:02:36,636 Plus, I'm not sure it's a great idea 49 00:02:36,739 --> 00:02:39,032 to take Penny to where wine comes from. 50 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,162 What? It's a joke. 51 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,581 Oh, come on. We bust on each other. 52 00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:47,875 I wear dorky glasses, you might have a problem. 53 00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:49,751 It's all for laughs. 54 00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:54,006 That would really piss me off if I didn't have a buzz going on. 55 00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:02,181 Howard, which pocket watch will you be wearing for dinner on the train? 56 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,271 I'm sorry, what? 57 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,441 I'm afraid if we wear the same pocket watch, 58 00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,193 it will be embarrassing. 59 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,155 I don't own a pocket watch. 60 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:20,657 Oh, my. 61 00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:24,453 Well, then my apologies for bringing up this sore spot. 62 00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:30,042 Since you two are gonna be around for Valentine's, 63 00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:31,406 would you mind watching Cinnamon? 64 00:03:31,419 --> 00:03:33,503 You have Valentine's plans? 65 00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:36,423 Which came out sounding way more surprised than I meant. 66 00:03:37,675 --> 00:03:39,301 Let me try that again. You have Val... 67 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:43,263 - See? I can't do it. - I don't have plans, 68 00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:46,266 which is why I booked time on the big telescope that night. 69 00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:49,394 Well, an evening looking at the stars, that's still kind of romantic. 70 00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:50,812 Except I'll be alone. 71 00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:53,649 I'm trying to put lipstick on a pig here. Work with me. 72 00:03:55,693 --> 00:03:57,254 - We'd be happy to watch Cinnamon. - Yeah. 73 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,280 Thank you. Oh, and I'd like for at least one of us 74 00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:01,240 to see some action, so if you guys happen to have sex, 75 00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,158 it's cool if she stays in the room. 76 00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,745 Same goes for the two of you with Amy. 77 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,593 What do you think, Sheldon? 78 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,637 It's magnificent. 79 00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:26,139 This is going to be the best Valentine's Day ever. 80 00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:28,016 I'm so glad you like it. 81 00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:29,851 I'm prepared to say I love it, 82 00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:32,688 as soon as I confirm there are no hobos aboard. 83 00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,068 OK. 84 00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:41,029 Raj, I got it. 85 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:42,739 Bye. 86 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,285 That was your daddy. 87 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:50,872 He wanted me to say that he misses... Why am I doing this? 88 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,209 Happy Valentine's Day! 89 00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:56,545 Flowers and chocolates? 90 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:59,214 Somebody's trying to get me out of my panties. 91 00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:02,759 Don't be surprised if you find five chocolates missing 92 00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:04,970 and three gross coconut ones with a bite taken out. 93 00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:08,682 It came that way when I bought it. 94 00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:10,976 Got you a little something, too. 95 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,478 Oh, jewelry! 96 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:17,149 Oh, my God. Lakers tickets?! 97 00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:21,486 It gets better. Instead of me, you can take someone 98 00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:24,072 - who will actually enjoy it. - Ohh! 99 00:05:24,365 --> 00:05:26,742 You are the best boyfriend ever. 100 00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:29,661 Thank you. Seriously, please don't make me go. 101 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:34,958 Should we take this little party to the bedroom? 102 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,210 Don't have to. We have the whole place to ourselves. 103 00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:39,796 - That's true. - In fact, if you want, 104 00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:42,424 we can do it right here on Sheldon's spot. 105 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:48,180 That is the least sexy thing anyone's ever said to me. 106 00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:51,266 - To the bedroom! - Yeah! 107 00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:59,441 And for the entrée, tonight's special is a seafood risotto. 108 00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,902 - Do you have any questions? - I do. 109 00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:05,947 Does this train car have the original link-and-pin coupler 110 00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:08,116 or the Miller Hook and platform? 111 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,203 I'm sorry, I meant questions about the food. 112 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,080 Oh, of course. 113 00:06:13,247 --> 00:06:16,208 Is the seafood risotto being served on a train car 114 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,856 with the original link-and-pin coupler 115 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,544 or the Miller Hook and platform? 116 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,298 I think we're gonna need a minute. 117 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,844 Fun fact: it's neither. 118 00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:32,808 They actually use the AAR type "E" coupler. 119 00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:35,310 If you listen carefully when the locomotive disconnects, 120 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:38,063 you'll hear the characteristic click, whoosh, 121 00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:40,023 ...thunk of the knuckle. 122 00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:44,653 Get out of town. 123 00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:49,282 Fun fact: I'm gonna jump off this train. 124 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:57,165 Hey, Cinnamon, guess who just did it human style. 125 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,044 Oh, my God! 126 00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:02,692 It's a little late, but I'll take it. 127 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:07,259 No, Cinnamon ate the chocolates. That's really bad for dogs. 128 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,428 Oh, crap. What are we gonna do? 129 00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:11,035 We gotta get her to a vet right now. 130 00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:13,348 I don't have a vet. I have a podiatrist, 131 00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:16,518 an optometrist, an allergist, a dermatologist, a urologist. 132 00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:18,353 You'd think I'd have a vet. 133 00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:20,382 OK. There's one not far from here. 134 00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:21,523 - Come on. Let's go. - OK. 135 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:24,484 Koothrappali was right. We should have let her watch. 136 00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:30,657 Do another one, do another one! 137 00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:33,201 OK. Here's my impression of the Amtrak Acela 138 00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:35,579 barreling down the Eastern Corridor. 139 00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:38,748 (MAKES CHUGGING AND WHOOSHING SOUNDS) 140 00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:46,590 It's like there's a train in your mouth. 141 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,342 Oh, yeah. I've got one. 142 00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:52,554 The Amtrak Wolverine coming into Chicago. 143 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,974 (MAKES PUFFING SOUNDS) 144 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,561 (IMITATES WHISTLE BLOWING) 145 00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:05,233 I've been on that train. And I just was again. 146 00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:08,970 See if you guys can guess this one: 147 00:08:09,071 --> 00:08:11,490 Bang! Splat! Thud. 148 00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:15,827 How many trains have you been on? 149 00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:19,581 Tons. A box fell on my head at UPS six years ago. 150 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:22,334 Now I just collect disability and ride trains. 151 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:27,255 Wow. Your life's amazing. 152 00:08:28,257 --> 00:08:31,927 Not always. A box fell on my head at UPS six years ago. 153 00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:35,180 Now I just collect disability and ride trains. 154 00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:43,563 - Why do I even try? - I'm gonna fix this right now. 155 00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:46,066 OK. Just make it look like an accident. 156 00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:52,948 Excuse me. You are at Valentine's dinner with your girlfriend. 157 00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:56,034 Now get back over there and be with her. 158 00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:59,788 You're right. That was insensitive of me. 159 00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:02,666 I have to go back to my table now. 160 00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:04,626 - You should join us. - All right. 161 00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:10,173 Great. Now there's two of 'em. 162 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:19,182 - How much chocolate did she eat? - A whole box. 163 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:22,394 Well, to be fair, you ate a lot of it before you gave it to me. 164 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,647 So the point is I may have saved her life. 165 00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:29,985 I'm sorry, is this a joke to you? 166 00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:31,611 No. 167 00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,280 Maybe to her. 168 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,325 How big a box of chocolate was it? 169 00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:39,160 Something like this. I don't know. 170 00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:41,246 It came free with a full tank of gas. 171 00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,868 Really? Do you know how much those Lakers tickets were? 172 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,835 - Do you know how much gas is? - Hey! 173 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,004 - Sorry. - Sorry. 174 00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:52,924 Oh, my God, Cinnamon, are you OK?! 175 00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,759 I can't believe you two! 176 00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:56,567 You do whatever it takes to save her life. 177 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,596 If she needs new organs, I'll buy any dog necessary 178 00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:00,473 and scrap them for parts! 179 00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:04,853 - You're the owner? - Owner, father, soul mate, 180 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:07,856 and if anything happens to her, your worst nightmare! 181 00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:12,902 Well, she's not throwing up, which is a good sign. 182 00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:15,447 So, I'm gonna take her in back, put her on fluids 183 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,335 and give her something to absorb the toxins. 184 00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:18,867 OK. OK, thank you. 185 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:22,370 If she's scared, you can sing to her. She likes Katy Perry. 186 00:10:23,205 --> 00:10:25,790 But don't do "Firework" That gets her all riled up. 187 00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,168 Got it. 188 00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,337 Should have been a dentist. 189 00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:36,217 OK, what was the best four-ten-four US locomotive ever built? 190 00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:38,511 Trick question. There never was one. 191 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:41,890 - Or was there? - What?! 192 00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:47,020 In 1944, the Pacific Railroad built number 6131, 193 00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:48,938 which rearranged the drivers and cylinders, 194 00:10:49,106 --> 00:10:50,899 solving the problem of the Q-1, 195 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:52,859 creating a duplex-drive four-four-six-four. 196 00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:56,738 In what world is a four-four-six-four a four-ten-four? 197 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,448 A world I don't want to live in! 198 00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:02,577 Seriously, I no longer want to live in this world. 199 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:07,248 Hold on to your conductor's hat. You crank the second and third axles, 200 00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,584 creating a pair of internal connecting rods, 201 00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:12,671 and boom! Four-ten-four. If you think about it, 202 00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:15,215 the Q-2 was like the four-ten-four America never made. 203 00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:17,926 I may never stop thinking about it. 204 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:20,428 Amy, what are the odds we run into this guy? 205 00:11:20,596 --> 00:11:22,055 Better than you think. 206 00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:28,269 You know, if you ask nicely, they'll let you visit the engine room. 207 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,731 I never want this day to end. 208 00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:33,483 It's feeling like it never will. 209 00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,403 Come on. 210 00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:40,073 Hey, did I tell you what happened to me at UPS? 211 00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:46,413 As if Valentine's Day wasn't bad enough, you try to kill my dog?! 212 00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:48,581 And with cheap chocolate, no less? 213 00:11:48,749 --> 00:11:51,668 It wasn't cheap. It was free. 214 00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,629 We're really sorry. It was an accident. 215 00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:56,381 Yeah, we weren't even out of the room that long. 216 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,842 No, come on. It was a while. 217 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,137 It was a while. 218 00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:07,350 - Is Cinnamon gonna be OK? - She's responding well. 219 00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:09,978 We just want to keep her a little longer for observation. 220 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:12,439 All right. Would it be OK for me to see her? 221 00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:15,483 We're usually in bed by now, and I want her to know that I'm here. 222 00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:19,279 Yes, we sleep together, and sometimes we spoon. 223 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:23,867 It's OK. I sleep with my dog, too. 224 00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:27,078 We're not supposed to let people in back, but... 225 00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:28,705 ...I think I can make an exception. 226 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,707 - Thank you. - Come on. 227 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:34,544 - By the way, I sang her Katy Perry. - Oh, yeah? 228 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:38,506 And I don't care what that obnoxious parrot back there says. I crushed it. 229 00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:42,245 I think there's something going on between the two of them. 230 00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:44,763 Maybe, but you also think nine minutes isn't a while, 231 00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,222 so what do you know? 232 00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,982 - You OK? - Why? 233 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:59,235 Because my boyfriend's off playing choo-choo with some weirdo? 234 00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:03,740 Well, to be fair, they're both weirdos. 235 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,035 I don't know what made me think tonight would be any different. 236 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:10,580 Well, just the fact that you got him up here still says a lot. 237 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:13,068 To be honest, I bet Howie 200 bucks it wasn't gonna happen. 238 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:16,211 I'm going to the LEGO store to get a big-ass R2-D2. 239 00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:22,801 See? It's not just Sheldon. They're all idiots. 240 00:13:25,012 --> 00:13:26,471 She's right. 241 00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:30,058 So your boyfriend's a fixer-upper. Most of them are. 242 00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,560 I mean, look at this guy. You think he came like this? 243 00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:34,896 When I met him, he was a hot, goofy mess. 244 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,733 Now, he's been to space. 245 00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:40,652 That's all me. 246 00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:45,865 - I had a little to do with it. - Oh, sure you did. 247 00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:48,409 Who's Mama's big space man? 248 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,497 I am. 249 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:00,588 They've been in there, like, half an hour. 250 00:14:00,756 --> 00:14:03,591 Yeah, for future reference, that's a while. 251 00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:11,099 - How long should we stay? - I don't know. I'm kind of hungry. 252 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:14,644 - I saw a Thai place next door. - OK. 253 00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:18,940 - How's she doing? - How is everything? 254 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:20,984 She's gonna be OK. They're gonna let me take her home. 255 00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:22,193 Good. 256 00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:23,528 So I want you to keep a close eye on her 257 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:24,863 for the next 24 hours. 258 00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:27,407 Here are a few warning signs to look out for. 259 00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:30,118 If you see any of them, don't hesitate to call. 260 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:33,121 Thank you for taking such good care of my little girl. 261 00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,206 My pleasure. Have a nice night. 262 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:37,041 Yes, thank you for all your help. 263 00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:39,168 Yeah. I'm sorry if you didn't think we were taking it seriously. 264 00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:41,921 - We love animals. - Do you guys own any pets? 265 00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:44,632 - No. - Good. 266 00:14:51,682 --> 00:14:53,516 I love you so much. 267 00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:55,101 I love you, too. 268 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,445 - Sorry. - Sorry. 269 00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:08,031 You guys missed a pretty great time. 270 00:15:08,198 --> 00:15:11,367 The conductor and I have the same pocket watch. 271 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:16,497 - It was crazy. - Dare I say "loco?" 272 00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:18,958 Oh, and, Amy, guess what? 273 00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:20,967 The conductor said as soon as he gets off work, 274 00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:24,297 he can come back to the bed and breakfast and play his banjo for us. 275 00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:29,344 OK. I need to speak to my boyfriend in private, like, right now. 276 00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:32,472 There's a car with a glass roof. Want to go look at the stars? 277 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:36,017 - That sounds so romantic. - Give it a rest! 278 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:38,770 Let's go. 279 00:15:42,858 --> 00:15:45,443 - Why are you still here? - Excuse me. 280 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:47,320 I think you're being a little rude. 281 00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:50,198 I'm being rude? You've been rude to me this entire evening. 282 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:51,908 How is that possible? 283 00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:55,203 I've hardly spoken to you since we got on the train. 284 00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:59,374 I'm detecting a little friction between you two, 285 00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:01,668 and I don't want to be a third rail. 286 00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:03,878 Get it? 287 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,047 I get it. 288 00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:09,717 Leave! 289 00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:14,222 - What is your problem? - It's Valentine's Day. 290 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,265 We're supposed to be having a romantic weekend. 291 00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:18,935 Oh, really? Because I remember you saying 292 00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:21,270 that this trip was going to be something we could both enjoy. 293 00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:24,565 Did you mean that, or were you just trying to trick me? 294 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:28,903 Fine, it's true. I deserve romance, 295 00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:31,572 and I didn't know how else to make it happen. 296 00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:36,619 Well, if you want romance, then let's have romance! 297 00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:39,205 Oh, look, there's wine. Mm! 298 00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,959 Grape juice that burns. 299 00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:45,920 Now let's gaze into each other's eyes. 300 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:48,297 - You blinked. I win. - Sheldon... 301 00:16:48,465 --> 00:16:50,925 Let's see. What's next? Kissing's romantic. 302 00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:10,778 That was nice. 303 00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:14,032 Good. 304 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,785 Um... 305 00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:21,831 The conductor said if I come back to the engine room, 306 00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:25,460 he'd show me how to bring the train through a crossing. 307 00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:29,464 OK, have fun. 308 00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:33,885 Do you want to come with me? 309 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,471 Really? I do. 310 00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:41,934 Hey, guys, wait up! 311 00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:43,895 (TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS) 312 00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:53,029 There you go. All cozy wozy. 313 00:17:54,656 --> 00:17:58,993 Here, let's see what the doctor says to keep an eye out for. 314 00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:03,164 Hm. "Rajesh, I was dreading Valentine's Day. 315 00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:06,834 Thank you for spending it with me. Yvette." 316 00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:12,548 Cinnamon, she gave me her phone number. 317 00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:14,008 If I'd known it was that easy, I would have considered 318 00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:15,968 poisoning you months ago. 319 00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:19,472 Oh, what should I say? 320 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,099 Oh, I know. 321 00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:24,393 I'll point out her name's Yvette, and that she's a vet. 322 00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:26,145 That's hysterical. 323 00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:27,688 She'll love it. 324 00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:32,401 - Hello. - Hey. You're back. 325 00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:34,695 - How was your trip? - It was wonderful! 326 00:18:34,863 --> 00:18:37,365 - Great. What did you do? - I made a new friend 327 00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:39,367 who likes trains as much as I do, 328 00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,119 I kissed Amy on the lips, 329 00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:44,122 and the conductor played his banjo for me. 330 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:45,706 Good night. 331 00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:49,043 Wait, wait, wait. I'm gonna need more details. 332 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:51,629 Well, my new friend's name was Eric. 333 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:55,383 Amy lips tasted like the brownie we had for dessert. 334 00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:59,137 The banjo-playing conductor was missing a finger, 335 00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:01,472 but he made up for it with his can-do attitude. 336 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:06,519 No, hang on. Hang on. Are all those things equal to you? 337 00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:08,104 Hmm... 338 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,565 It never occurred to me to pick a favorite. 339 00:19:10,732 --> 00:19:12,859 Well, give it a go. 340 00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:17,697 I can't answer that without collecting additional data. 341 00:19:18,782 --> 00:19:21,117 Additional data. You dog! 342 00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,538 I'm not sure how listening to other nine-fingered banjo players 343 00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:27,707 makes me dog, but all right. 344 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:36,382 ♪ (THEME MUSIC) ♪ 345 00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:54,817 (English - SDH)