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Joe Pera Talks to You
To put you back to sleep
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Even if I'm up at 2
at night on a weekday,
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I'm glad I went
woken up by the night thunder,
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why, for me, looking at the snow and
rain is a special event.
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My favorite part of the Super Bowl
last year was when with...
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7 minutes and 35 at the end of the third half,
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Ilooked out the window and I
saw the snow falling softly.
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And as he landed on the
silent and empty street,
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I said to myself:
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"Touchdown".
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Greetings. My name is Joe Pera,
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and the thunder woke you up too...
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or was it something else?
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Maybe you're nervous about starting
of something new,
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of a new job, of a new baby,
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of a new pair of elegant shoes that
it stresses you out to use for the first time.
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Maybe you're waiting for the list
of the interpreters is published,
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or maybe your album of
debut will be released tomorrow,
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and you're worried that people will say
that you are plagiarizing Bruce Springsteen.
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Well, you're not at all
like Bruce Springsteen.
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You're not from New Jersey.
You're from Delaware.
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And do dubstep.
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Your hair is growing
thinning out for years.
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You are 1.80 meters tall.
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You have no teeth, you're all gums.
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Your microphone is alone
an old vacuum cleaner.
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You perform while on all fours and
Fashion Week songs.
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I don't know, sorry.
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I could go get some
waffles and milk but...
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it would be a shame to get up
and miss a beautiful flash.
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The pattering rain
on the windows it must be
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the fourth sound more
relaxing ever.
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Milk being poured into a glass
comes just next in the rankings.
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Whole milk is
particularly relaxing
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but even in this case, the majority
part of the spilled liquids are.
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Watch the liquids flow
from a large container
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in a small container it is a delight.
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Don't speak to me until
I didn't have my morning coffee.
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I'm joking.
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I'm happy to talk
at any time.
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It's ladies' night.
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This is for the boys.
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This is Clinton Moy.
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Professionally deals with pouring
liquids in advertising and television.
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Hello, Joe.
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Hi, Clinton.
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Have you ever had trouble sleeping?
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No.
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Do you want to share your secret with us?
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How do you stay so relaxed?
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With dominoes.
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I don't like this.
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I'm sorry, and please
don't tell Clinton that, but
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but I don't like dominoes.
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As hilarious as it is to set it up,
once the fall begins,
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You're looking at potential
disappear before your eyes.
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No matter how much you want it,
the last domino does not rise again.
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Sorry if I take it out on the dominoes,
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but it's one of my beliefs
fundamentals that should not be wasted
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kinetic energy.
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Here you are.
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If you are still awake,
I have something special to show you.
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This is my sheet music collection.
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Before 1920,
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when radios were
still not widespread,
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you bought the paper versions of the latest ones
melodies for your home piano.
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That's not really how it works
the music industry today but...
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there's something about the old smell of
card that helps me relax.
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And the cover is fantastic too.
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I love this piece, because the composer
He looks like a little chubby guy.
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Sorry for the teasing.
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Sometimes, a song articulates
perfectly a question
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that remained in you
head for life.
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{\an8}WHO PAID THE RENT
FOR MRS VAN WINKLE?
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Imagine not having a radio
and to depend on your father
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to interpret the whole
popular music for you.
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You might think this if
you saw my school photos...
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{\an8}I HAVE SOMETHING IN MY EYE
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but it's my fault.
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I can't keep my eyes
open, no matter how hard you try.
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And this year I tried.
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Three, two, one.
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Excuse me. We can do it
another one, please?
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Yes. All right.
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Three, two, one.
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- Did we make it?
- Excellent.
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We did it.
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- Ok.
- Okay. Come on, darling.
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Sit up there. You are a star. Okay.
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Three, two, one.
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It doesn't matter.
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I'm not too worried about
my photographic legacy.
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In fact, I hope not
be remembered at all
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and that, one day, it may disappear.
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Oh. Are those French horns?
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One of the most beautiful parts
of music teaching
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is that you literally can
feel the students while they learn.
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And when this happens,
it takes your breath away.
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Gus has a mask for
built-in sleep.
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Sorry, buddy.
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But you don't have to be a teacher
music to take your breath away.
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There are a lot of beautiful ones
things that can do that.
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Like a beautiful bolt of lightning.
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The perfect water pressure.
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When you risk dying...
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but then you survive.
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The flavor of a pineapple.
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When the hot tub
of the hotel is not full of teenagers
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so you can relax
the neck muscles
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after a long day with my nose
looking up at the aerobatics.
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The Blue Angels were amazing
in their F/A-18 Super Hornets,
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but the "jets" of this
tub are even better.
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Also, for those who don't travel much,
staying in a hotel is an exciting thing.
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When you go back to your room, you can look at it
a film that has not yet been released on DVD.
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Will DVDs still exist in two years?
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Hard to say, but the fact
is that, at a certain point
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most of
things become obsolete.
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Textile mills once were
powered by water wheels.
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They are now powered by
a hydroelectric dam,
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but that's good, because now there's more
stuff than there ever was.
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Think about it.
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There are today 95 million
tons of textile fibres
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produced every year all over the world.
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This should take your breath away.
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And then,
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when the ceiling of your bar
preferred is a football field.
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Or when you open a box and your
bereavement therapist is inside.
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Or the size and the
depth of Lake Superior.
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Or the moments when it seems like
your students appreciate you
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because they take the time
to explain the new jargon to you.
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And when you've caught your breath,
I hope you fall asleep,
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and that tomorrow your crush
you become your baby.
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Good night.
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Translated by blakko
write.as/blakko