1 00:00:01,201 --> 00:00:02,935 [Ticking Loudly] 2 00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:04,670 [Ted Narrating] Kids, Einstein was right. 3 00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:06,538 Time moves at different speeds. 4 00:00:06,539 --> 00:00:11,089 To Barney, the previous night raced by in a blur. 5 00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:13,479 But then, all of a sudden... 6 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,347 time stopped. 7 00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:17,583 This might be the worst thing I've ever done. 8 00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:19,051 Hey, now. 9 00:00:19,052 --> 00:00:21,854 You weren't at the top of your game, but it was still pretty- 10 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,523 Oh, my God! I just cheated on Kevin! 11 00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:28,427 He is the nicest guy ever. I'm a terrible person. 12 00:00:28,428 --> 00:00:30,938 It's okay. We both cheated. 13 00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:33,933 What's that saying about two wrongs making a right? 14 00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:36,568 "Two wrongs don't make a right"? 15 00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:38,270 No, that's not it. 16 00:00:38,271 --> 00:00:41,373 Oh, my God. I just cheated on Nora! 17 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:44,109 - How could I do this to her? What are we gonna do? - I don't know. 18 00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:45,611 Well- [Exhales] 19 00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:48,547 Can I ask you- Did this mean anything? 20 00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:50,749 Of course it did. 21 00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:52,885 Of course it didn't. 22 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,887 Which one are you looking for? I could see it going either way. 23 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,922 - It meant nothing. - It meant nothing! 24 00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:59,558 - How could you say it meant nothing? - Of course it meant something! 25 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,460 - No, it didn't! It can't. - [Frustrated Grunt] 26 00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:04,596 Okay? You're with Nora, and I'm with Kevin... 27 00:01:04,597 --> 00:01:07,498 and- [Sighs] I have to go. 28 00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:09,835 - Wait. What are we gonna tell them? - Nothing! 29 00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:13,305 God, we made a horrible mistake, but it-it is over now. 30 00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:16,875 There's no reason to hurt more people by talking about it. 31 00:01:16,876 --> 00:01:19,401 You're asking me to lie? 32 00:01:19,479 --> 00:01:21,814 That's fine. 33 00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:24,817 Damn it. Nora and I have that work cruise tomorrow night. 34 00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,785 We're all supposed to go together. 35 00:01:26,786 --> 00:01:29,888 Okay, I know this is thinking way, way out of the box... 36 00:01:29,889 --> 00:01:32,524 but what if- and hear me out- 37 00:01:32,525 --> 00:01:34,093 we don't go? 38 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,694 No. 39 00:01:35,695 --> 00:01:38,430 I- I just want this whole night to fade into history... 40 00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:41,033 so we have to act like it never happened. 41 00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:44,403 We should go. I mean, it's a three-hour boat ride. 42 00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:46,605 What could happen? 43 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:49,108 - I'm sure that's what Gilligan said. - [Thunderclap] 44 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,609 45 00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:55,679 46 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,786 47 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:06,792 Groovapalooza! 48 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:11,063 All the smug hippie bands from the '90s in one big concert. 49 00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:14,199 Ah! Even the tickets smell like cloves and mediocrity. 50 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,969 And to really take us back... 51 00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:19,738 I scored us a bag of, yes, mari- 52 00:02:19,739 --> 00:02:22,908 [Ted Narrating] Kids, we used to do something before concerts to enjoy them more... 53 00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:26,211 and that thing was to, uh, eat a sandwich. 54 00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:27,913 ... nated steak subs! 55 00:02:27,914 --> 00:02:29,181 Oh, yeah! 56 00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:33,719 Well, as future parents, we'll pass on the sandwiches. 57 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,788 How could you even suggest such a thing, Ted? 58 00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:37,689 [Whispering] I better get my 60 bucks back. 59 00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:41,285 No sandwich? Marshall, it's a palooza! 60 00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:43,162 We've eaten sandwiches at every palooza. 61 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,164 Lollapalooza. Funkapalooza. 62 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,833 Gender-diversity-awareness palooza, junior year. 63 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:51,514 Yeah, there were some real bitches there. 64 00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:54,940 Okay, quick. Before Lily gets here, let's fire this up. 65 00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:57,609 No way. I promised Lily that I would be responsible. 66 00:02:57,610 --> 00:03:02,770 - You're not getting your 60 bucks back. - Give me that. 67 00:03:03,716 --> 00:03:06,085 [Choking, Coughing] 68 00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:07,753 69 00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:09,788 70 00:03:09,789 --> 00:03:11,523 How you holding up? 71 00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:14,860 Well, I'm about to be trapped on a boat all night with the guy I cheated on... 72 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:18,130 the guy I cheated with and the girl that the guy I cheated with cheated on. 73 00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:19,765 So, not super. 74 00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:22,201 - Hi, Sandy. - You're welcome! 75 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:26,238 - I did not say "thank you." - Oh, you're too kind. 76 00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:28,739 Too kind. Excuse me. 77 00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:31,477 I should really try to have sex with that new intern. 78 00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:34,880 [Ted Narrating] Robin's boss, Sandy Rivers, hosted this cruise every year... 79 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,949 mostly to hit on the new employees. 80 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:40,385 And he 'd found a clever way to never spend a cent. 81 00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:42,187 Up next, another four deaths... 82 00:03:42,188 --> 00:03:44,823 in Arizona 's record-breaking heat wave. 83 00:03:44,824 --> 00:03:47,259 You want real record-breaking heat? 84 00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:51,424 Try Kristoff's Jalapeño Coconut Vodka Martini. 85 00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:54,194 Ow. ¡Muy caliente! 86 00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:59,037 Okay, Nora and Kevin are gonna be here any minute. 87 00:03:59,038 --> 00:04:00,973 I thought I could handle this, but I can't. 88 00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:02,774 Okay. Uh- Um, here's the plan. 89 00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:04,943 We'll grab one of the lifeboats, get back to shore... 90 00:04:04,944 --> 00:04:06,245 destroy the tape of us doing it- 91 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,446 There's a tape of us doing it? 92 00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:09,248 And we'll start a new life together. 93 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:12,284 Somewhere simple and homey, like Vermont or Dubai. 94 00:04:12,285 --> 00:04:14,653 Wait. Is- Is that what you want? 95 00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:16,455 For us to be together? 96 00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:19,591 - Hey, Robin. - God. I really can't do this. 97 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,960 Don't worry. Just follow my lead and keep cool. 98 00:04:21,961 --> 00:04:25,021 - Hey, guys! - They know! 99 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,467 Oh, no. 100 00:04:28,468 --> 00:04:33,030 I think that sandwich was laced with other stuff. 101 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,807 - Like hard meats. - What do you mean? 102 00:04:35,808 --> 00:04:40,812 Well, usually after a sandwich, I feel paranoid, but I'm not. 103 00:04:40,813 --> 00:04:44,783 - Why am I not feeling paranoid? - Calm down, dude! 104 00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,919 We'll be fine. 105 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,754 Lily's gonna know. 106 00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:50,756 Listen to me. 107 00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:54,147 Whatever we were just talking about... 108 00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:56,228 we'll be fine. 109 00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:58,397 You're right. She won't find out. 110 00:04:58,398 --> 00:05:01,595 - Hey, guys. - She knows! 111 00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:03,835 Good evening! 112 00:05:03,836 --> 00:05:08,273 A special welcome to our four new interns- Erika... and so on. 113 00:05:08,274 --> 00:05:11,076 One safety matter. Life preservers are on the side rails... 114 00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:13,910 in case anyone falls overboard. 115 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:17,349 That's it. Have a good night. Don't drink too much. 116 00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:19,850 Or do. 117 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,588 - - Beautiful night, huh, gang? 118 00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:27,426 Yeah. Robin and I were just cheating- chatting about how warm it is. 119 00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:31,591 I am breaking a trust- sweat in here! 120 00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:35,434 [Nervous Laugh] And I thought we'd be "cuckold." 121 00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:37,502 I know why you're so nervous, Barney. 122 00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:38,937 You do? 123 00:05:38,938 --> 00:05:41,340 You're meeting Nora's parents tomorrow night, right? 124 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,209 Ah! [Laughs] That's it! That's it! 125 00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:45,711 - Let's dance! - Bah! 126 00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:48,212 Whoo! 127 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,851 [Whispering] Lily has no idea I'm high. 128 00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:55,020 You're high? 129 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,521 I'm sorry. 130 00:05:59,325 --> 00:06:02,561 [Whispering] Lily has no idea I'm high. 131 00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:06,732 Okay, well, if your pregnant wife has to sit here sober all night... 132 00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:09,401 she's gonna need some of them nachos. 133 00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:11,103 You got it. 134 00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:13,772 - Hey, dude, fork over some of them nachos. - No, not his. 135 00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:15,307 My own. 136 00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:17,808 Ah. Smart. 137 00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:20,644 - Come on, Ted. - What? 138 00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:29,121 [Ted Narrating] And thus began the most harrowing journey of our lives. 139 00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:33,959 To this day, Robin and Barney swear this is the song they danced to that night. 140 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:38,488 141 00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:42,100 is to tell the truth 142 00:06:42,101 --> 00:06:43,702 143 00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:46,638 144 00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:50,108 gonna drive you crazy 145 00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:51,910 146 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,212 Kevin's such a nice guy 147 00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:56,014 148 00:06:56,015 --> 00:06:58,684 149 00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:02,487 round the edge of a toilet bowl 150 00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:04,756 151 00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:08,527 where you should have a soul? 152 00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:12,597 - - Don't wait too long 153 00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:13,999 154 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,535 155 00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:19,338 tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em 156 00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:21,506 tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em 157 00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:23,041 I'll wait. 158 00:07:23,042 --> 00:07:25,277 tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em 159 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,979 Oh, come on. Seriously? You're not gonna tell 'em? 160 00:07:27,980 --> 00:07:29,948 - We have to tell them. - Right now. 161 00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:32,617 162 00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:35,118 Seriously, you guys suck. 163 00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:42,027 [Ted Narrating] Marshall and l were still in line to get Lily's nachos. 164 00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:45,018 Dude, we've been waiting forever. 165 00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:50,261 Even worse, this is the line for the ladies' room. 166 00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:54,239 I can't believe that our last Groovapalooza was... 167 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,141 what, 12 years ago? 168 00:07:56,142 --> 00:08:00,112 - I mean, time is going by so fast. - I know. It's crazy. 169 00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:02,447 In, like, an eyeblink... 170 00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:06,782 this hand will be like an old man's hand. 171 00:08:06,853 --> 00:08:10,822 I recognize the clichéd nature of what I'm about to say... 172 00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:13,348 but... whoa. 173 00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:15,926 Yeah. 174 00:08:16,095 --> 00:08:18,330 312? That's our gate. 175 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,500 Dude, we just walked around the entire arena. 176 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,702 We've been walking for, like, an hour... 177 00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:25,771 and we still haven't found the nachos! 178 00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:28,272 I bet Lily is so upset. 179 00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:31,209 Yo, you want my nachos, bro? 180 00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:33,345 Oh, thank you! 181 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:36,815 My husband's been gone an hour looking for these. 182 00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:40,252 If he can't even do that, how can I trust him as a father? 183 00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:43,017 You can't, bro. You can't. 184 00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:46,358 I like your long goatee. 185 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,226 Marshall can't even grow a beard. 186 00:08:48,227 --> 00:08:49,795 Oh, that's sad... 187 00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:51,830 'cause one's ability to grow facial hair... 188 00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:55,801 directly correlates with one's ability to be a good father. 189 00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:57,569 I know it does. 190 00:08:57,570 --> 00:09:00,070 I know it does. 191 00:09:00,606 --> 00:09:02,974 - Mmm! - Mmm! 192 00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:04,743 [Groans] 193 00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:08,980 Oh. Excuse me, sir. Do you know where the nachos are? 194 00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:10,749 195 00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:14,550 [Whimpers, Screaming] 196 00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:16,555 Over here! I found the nacho line. 197 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,056 Oh. 198 00:09:22,995 --> 00:09:27,365 - So, how'd it go with Kevin? - Well, I was just about to tell him. 199 00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:29,167 - Look, Kevin- - Erika! 200 00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:32,170 - I've been meaning to speak with you all night. - Really? What about? 201 00:09:32,171 --> 00:09:35,140 About me bending your hard little body over the railing of this boat... 202 00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:36,741 and copulating furiously... 203 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:39,611 while I admire the New York City skyline. 204 00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:42,547 Or, if you're feeling dirty, we can always face Jersey. 205 00:09:42,548 --> 00:09:44,783 Thoughts? 206 00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:47,344 [Screams] Oh! Jalapeño! 207 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:51,020 And just a hint of coconut! [Screams] 208 00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:54,626 Kevin hit his head. He might have a concussion... 209 00:09:54,627 --> 00:09:57,629 so, obviously, I couldn't tell him. 210 00:09:57,630 --> 00:10:01,199 - What about you? - Something even worse happened to her. 211 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:04,870 I got a tiny spot of wine on my sleeve. 212 00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:10,369 I couldn't pile on. I'm not a monster. 213 00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:13,011 Where are they? 214 00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:15,080 Come on. Forget the nachos. 215 00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:17,249 Everyone here is having fun. 216 00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:19,184 Look, even these guys! 217 00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:21,253 Check it out. 218 00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:24,990 Wow! Music really does bring people together! 219 00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:27,158 Ted? Ted! 220 00:10:27,159 --> 00:10:29,327 Creepy guitar guy is following us. 221 00:10:29,328 --> 00:10:31,663 222 00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:34,164 [Screaming] 223 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,767 [Screaming Continues] 224 00:10:35,768 --> 00:10:38,503 Ah! Wha- We did a whole nother lap. 225 00:10:38,504 --> 00:10:40,839 Oh, man, we missed, like, half the concert now. 226 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:43,241 - Come on. Let's just go back to our seats. - Ted, Ted, Ted! 227 00:10:43,242 --> 00:10:46,745 - The nacho line was right here all along. - Oh, my God! 228 00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:49,366 It's so stupid. [Laughing] 229 00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:52,751 As soon as we dock, I'm taking Kevin to the E.R. 230 00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:56,518 God! I wish last night never happened. 231 00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:01,491 I don't. 232 00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:04,195 What do you mean? 233 00:11:04,196 --> 00:11:06,064 What if this whole thing... 234 00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:08,567 it isn't the story of how we both made a horrible mistake... 235 00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:10,869 and ruined our relationships? 236 00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:12,971 What if it's actually the story... 237 00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:15,562 of how we got back together? 238 00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:18,777 Okay, I'm gonna ask you one last time. 239 00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:20,912 Is this what you want? 240 00:11:20,913 --> 00:11:22,547 It's what we both want. 241 00:11:22,548 --> 00:11:26,451 Why else are we rushing to tell them what we did- on a boat? 242 00:11:26,452 --> 00:11:28,053 That is a terrible idea. 243 00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:30,789 Barney, we tried this, and we failed. 244 00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:32,524 Why try again? 245 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,526 Because I haven't stopped thinking about you... 246 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:38,330 and you haven't stopped thinking about me. 247 00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:41,164 [Sighs] I'm such a mess. 248 00:11:41,233 --> 00:11:44,464 Why- Why do you even like me? 249 00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:53,076 I guess 'cause you're almost as messed up as I am. 250 00:11:56,849 --> 00:12:01,453 Well, there's the small issue that we're currently dating other people. 251 00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,954 How about this? 252 00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:08,756 After we dock, let's each do what we have to do... 253 00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:11,696 and then meet up at MacLaren's at midnight... 254 00:12:11,697 --> 00:12:15,497 and... talk about us. 255 00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:21,584 Don't forget your mystery gift bags! 256 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,075 They're condoms. 257 00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:28,446 We just went all the way around again! 258 00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:31,716 - Where the hell are these nachos? - Who cares about nachos? 259 00:12:31,717 --> 00:12:33,284 - I do! - I love nachos, man. 260 00:12:33,285 --> 00:12:35,053 You gotta relax, man. 261 00:12:35,054 --> 00:12:37,889 You keep worrying about stuff like nachos... 262 00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:40,492 you're gonna give yourself a heart attack. 263 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:43,163 - I'm going back in. - Fine! 264 00:12:43,729 --> 00:12:46,229 Ha! Joke's on you! 265 00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:49,948 The nacho line was right here all along. 266 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:56,708 [Ted Narrating] Robin and Barney were finally off the boat... 267 00:12:56,709 --> 00:13:00,979 so they both assumed it was going to be a lot easier to admit what they had done. 268 00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:03,480 - Kevin- - Me first. 269 00:13:03,549 --> 00:13:06,785 I don't wanna make too much out of saying " I love you" for the first time- 270 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,386 Any way I can jump in with my thing? 271 00:13:08,387 --> 00:13:10,887 Robin. 272 00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:12,824 I love you. 273 00:13:12,825 --> 00:13:14,559 - Okay. Nora, look- - [Gasps] 274 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,061 Mom! Dad! 275 00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:18,895 Hi, love! We got in early. 276 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:20,565 [Sighs] 277 00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:24,326 [Together] Shoulda done it on the boat. 278 00:13:29,575 --> 00:13:31,409 - - Aaaah! 279 00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:33,910 Hey, where's your friend? 280 00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:37,082 We missed almost the entire show because... 281 00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:40,719 he put his stupid quest for nachos ahead of our friendship, so I bolted. 282 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,521 Well, I'm just a creepy old guitar player... 283 00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:46,691 but isn't any time spent with a friend a blessing? 284 00:13:46,692 --> 00:13:49,652 And if nachos is all you seek... 285 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,329 take mine, brother. 286 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:53,932 Wow! 287 00:13:53,933 --> 00:13:56,973 - Thank you! - It's a sign, bro. 288 00:13:57,870 --> 00:14:01,039 It is! It's a sign I should go find Marshall. 289 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,275 Come on. [Chuckling] Marshall! Marshall! 290 00:14:04,276 --> 00:14:06,776 [Ticking] 291 00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:12,337 So, Barney, Nora's told us so much about you... 292 00:14:12,384 --> 00:14:14,219 but we want to know everything. 293 00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:16,888 Let's see- suits, laser tag, I say "Wait for it" a lot. 294 00:14:16,889 --> 00:14:20,625 - That's about it. You two must be exhausted. - I'll make coffee. 295 00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:24,395 I'm so glad to see how happy you both are. 296 00:14:24,396 --> 00:14:28,032 When you meet the right person, you know it. 297 00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:31,233 You can't stop thinking about them. 298 00:14:33,305 --> 00:14:35,805 They're your best friend. 299 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,644 And your soul mate. 300 00:14:39,645 --> 00:14:42,914 You can't wait to spend the rest of your life with them. 301 00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:46,578 No one and nothing else can compare. 302 00:14:46,652 --> 00:14:50,054 Now, where the hell is that coffee, eh? 303 00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:52,555 [Laughing] 304 00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:58,543 Look, Nora. There's something I have to tell you. 305 00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:02,732 306 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,437 - Heart attack. - [Crowd Gasping] 307 00:15:06,438 --> 00:15:09,440 God, Ted was right. I have to relax. Ted! 308 00:15:09,441 --> 00:15:11,009 - Marshall. - Ted! 309 00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:14,012 - Marshall! - Ted! Oh, Ted! Oh, Ted! 310 00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:16,314 I'm so sorry. You were right. 311 00:15:16,315 --> 00:15:18,783 No, Marshall, you- Yeah, I was right. 312 00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:21,344 But look, nachos! 313 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,321 Come on. Let's go back inside. 314 00:15:23,322 --> 00:15:25,723 - - [Crowd Cheering] 315 00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:27,892 That's it. 316 00:15:27,893 --> 00:15:29,527 It's over. 317 00:15:29,528 --> 00:15:31,262 We missed the whole show. 318 00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,031 [Woman On P.A.] Paging Dr. Bender. 319 00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:36,229 So... yep. 320 00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:38,036 I love you. 321 00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:40,537 Look, Kevin... 322 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,042 there's something I have to tell you. 323 00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:46,543 I cheated on you. 324 00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:50,648 I don't even know how to react. 325 00:15:50,649 --> 00:15:53,149 I am so sorry. 326 00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:57,088 I know I don't get any second chances... 327 00:15:57,089 --> 00:16:00,320 but you will always be- 328 00:16:00,392 --> 00:16:02,892 Was this a one-time thing? 329 00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:08,944 Can you tell me it didn't mean anything? 330 00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:12,669 No. 331 00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:23,815 I'm sorry, Ted. 332 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,512 I still wanna have fun. 333 00:16:26,585 --> 00:16:29,320 I have to be a good husband and father too. 334 00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:31,222 There's just not enough time, you know? 335 00:16:31,223 --> 00:16:34,659 I know. It's all going by so damn fast. 336 00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,322 We're getting old. 337 00:16:37,396 --> 00:16:39,697 [Gasps] Lily! Oh! Hey. 338 00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:44,235 - Oh, Lily, I'm so sorry that we ruined our night. - Yeah. 339 00:16:44,236 --> 00:16:45,970 What are you guys talking about? 340 00:16:45,971 --> 00:16:47,705 You've been gone less than two minutes. 341 00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:51,176 [Ted Narrating] Kids, she was right. 342 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,481 - My hand. - Whoa! 343 00:16:56,482 --> 00:16:58,182 Ah! Concert! 344 00:16:58,183 --> 00:17:01,175 Nachos! [Screams] 345 00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:04,721 [Laughs] Music! 346 00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:08,224 [Both Screaming] 347 00:17:09,628 --> 00:17:11,195 - Time! - Nachos! 348 00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:13,696 [Grunts] 349 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:17,833 - Thank you! - It's a sign, bro. 350 00:17:17,903 --> 00:17:20,138 Oh! Uh- 351 00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:21,606 - Heart attack! - Marshall! 352 00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:23,775 - Ted! Ted! - Marshall! 353 00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:26,677 - Ted! - Oh! 354 00:17:26,745 --> 00:17:29,245 [Together] Time. 355 00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:35,418 - Lily! - Lily! 356 00:17:35,921 --> 00:17:38,423 Marshall, do you get what this means? 357 00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:40,158 Life isn't moving too fast. 358 00:17:40,159 --> 00:17:41,726 We still have time for everything! 359 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:44,963 And we're not gonna miss the concert! 360 00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:47,198 - I am freaking out right now. - We gotta get out of here. 361 00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:49,699 Yeah. 362 00:17:49,768 --> 00:17:52,003 Do you guys know where the ladies' room is? 363 00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:53,905 - No idea. - Haven't seen it. 364 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:56,406 [Ticking] 365 00:17:57,176 --> 00:17:58,977 Hey! How's it going? 366 00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:01,746 Oh, not great. Nora and I broke up. 367 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,815 Oh, my God. What happened? 368 00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:05,883 Uh, I don't really feel like getting into it... 369 00:18:05,884 --> 00:18:09,374 but... I think the worst part is over. 370 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,591 - Hey. - Hey. 371 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,728 - Hey, Kev. - What's up, Kev? 372 00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:18,129 [Robin] Hey, guys. 373 00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:20,331 There's something I have to tell you. 374 00:18:20,332 --> 00:18:23,062 - Then don't. - What? 375 00:18:23,135 --> 00:18:26,137 If there's one thing I've learned as a therapist... 376 00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:29,340 it's that just because something needs to be told... 377 00:18:29,341 --> 00:18:32,643 doesn't always mean it needs to be heard. 378 00:18:32,644 --> 00:18:35,613 Kevin, I did something bad. 379 00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:40,952 We've all done bad things. Doesn't mean we're bad people. 380 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:44,055 Look, I don't care about every detail from your past... 381 00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:47,358 and I hope you don't care about mine either. 382 00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:49,560 What I do care about is you... 383 00:18:49,561 --> 00:18:55,333 and that, from tonight forward, you're in this as much as I am. 384 00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:57,834 What do you think? 385 00:18:58,270 --> 00:19:01,433 I'm such a mess. 386 00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:03,474 [Chuckles] 387 00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,309 Why do you even like me? 388 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,810 Come here. 389 00:19:07,946 --> 00:19:12,286 I am constantly amazed by the things you say... 390 00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:14,852 entranced by the things you do... 391 00:19:14,853 --> 00:19:19,847 and, unlike a certain jalapeño coconut vodka martini... 392 00:19:19,925 --> 00:19:22,425 you're easy on the eyes. 393 00:19:23,395 --> 00:19:26,297 And if we're together long enough... 394 00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:31,768 I hope that one day you'll see yourself the way I see you. 395 00:19:33,439 --> 00:19:36,029 That's a pretty good answer. 396 00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:38,643 [Ted Narrating] Sometimes hours can feel like minutes... 397 00:19:38,644 --> 00:19:42,447 - and sometimes a single second can last a lifetime. - [Clock Ticking] 398 00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:47,688 For Barney, the second that would never end was this one. 399 00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:52,484 [Ticking Slows] 400 00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:07,638 Um, I should go. 401 00:20:07,639 --> 00:20:09,707 Tough night. 402 00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:13,698 - I 'm so sorry. - Don't be. It's nothing. 403 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,648 It feels good to be sober again. 404 00:20:17,649 --> 00:20:21,285 Man, how long have we been sitting here, right? 405 00:20:21,286 --> 00:20:25,546 Twelve seconds, and you're in the wrong booth. 406 00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:32,662 I should go to bed. 407 00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:38,035 [Man: Pop Ballad] 408 00:20:38,036 --> 00:20:40,536 409 00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:44,273 410 00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:47,644 411 00:20:49,681 --> 00:20:54,778 412 00:20:54,853 --> 00:20:59,222 413 00:20:59,291 --> 00:21:01,851 414 00:21:03,295 --> 00:21:07,391