1 00:00:01,392 --> 00:00:04,352 [exciting instrumental music] 2 00:00:04,395 --> 00:00:09,705 ♪ 3 00:00:09,748 --> 00:00:11,098 Excuse me. There's a line, buddy. 4 00:00:11,141 --> 00:00:12,316 There's two lines. 5 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:13,752 No, no, there's one line. 6 00:00:13,796 --> 00:00:14,927 We're in it. 7 00:00:14,971 --> 00:00:16,712 I'm just getting a hot dog. 8 00:00:16,755 --> 00:00:18,235 We're all getting hot dogs. 9 00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:19,758 What, you think there's two lines 10 00:00:19,802 --> 00:00:21,195 and we're all in this line-- 11 00:00:21,238 --> 00:00:23,588 you're the only genius that got in the other line? 12 00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:24,850 Can you believe this guy? 13 00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:27,853 Don't line up behind him. 14 00:00:27,897 --> 00:00:28,898 He cheated you. 15 00:00:28,941 --> 00:00:29,986 Hey, shut up. 16 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,292 What do you want on yours, baby? 17 00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:33,207 I want all the hot dogs, please. 18 00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:35,078 Yeah, I'm--I'm buying all the hot dogs. 19 00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:36,079 Oh, come on, lady. 20 00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:37,950 [customers shouting angrily] 21 00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:40,170 And I'm giving them to the good people. 22 00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:41,476 [upbeat '60s-style pop music] 23 00:00:41,519 --> 00:00:42,738 ♪ Who's that 24 00:00:42,781 --> 00:00:44,957 ♪ Kicking it down the street 25 00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:47,177 ♪ Causin' a stir 26 00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:49,484 ♪ Who's that 27 00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:51,921 ♪ I know that you're wondrin' That's her ♪ 28 00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:54,489 ♪ That's her, that's her, that's her, that's her ♪ 29 00:00:54,532 --> 00:00:57,100 ♪ Who's got The kind of charisma that ♪ 30 00:00:57,144 --> 00:01:00,843 ♪ The boys prefer 31 00:01:00,886 --> 00:01:03,106 ♪ Who's hot And you know that she knows it ♪ 32 00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:04,107 ♪ That's her 33 00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:05,848 ♪ She's like a summer sky 34 00:01:05,891 --> 00:01:07,154 ♪ It's like some cherry pie 35 00:01:07,197 --> 00:01:10,113 ♪ And there is butterfly Me oh my ♪ 36 00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:13,943 ♪ Who flaunts her feminine magic That's her ♪ 37 00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:15,075 That's me! 38 00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:16,598 [male voice] That's Pam! 39 00:01:16,641 --> 00:01:18,513 The overly-confident morbidly obese woman. 40 00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:22,473 This fat suit smells like corn chips. 41 00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:23,909 [female voice] Going again, please. Thank you. 42 00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:26,086 And this is the set of The Girlie Show. 43 00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:28,914 It's a real fun ladies' comedy show for ladies. 44 00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:30,481 Hey, everybody. 45 00:01:30,525 --> 00:01:32,875 Look, here's someone you never get a chance to meet. 46 00:01:32,918 --> 00:01:34,006 It's the head writer ofThe Girlie Show, 47 00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:35,269 Liz Lemon! 48 00:01:35,312 --> 00:01:37,009 [tour guide clapping] 49 00:01:37,053 --> 00:01:39,316 [belches] 50 00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:43,799 The Girlie Show. 51 00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:45,975 Hold on, I'll connect you. 52 00:01:46,018 --> 00:01:47,194 Hey. What's up? 53 00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:48,282 Hey, have you looked at that Cat Lady sketch? 54 00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:49,631 It's still seven minutes long. 55 00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:50,675 Yikes, okay. 56 00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:52,024 Oh, and Standards has a problem 57 00:01:52,068 --> 00:01:53,069 with that Michael Jackson bit. 58 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,331 But why? 59 00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:55,985 Apparently you can't say he's got a vagina. 60 00:01:56,028 --> 00:01:58,074 Oh, it's--fine, I'll just take the whole thing out. 61 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,032 Hey, you gotta tell that NBC page 62 00:02:00,076 --> 00:02:01,208 to take it down a notch. 63 00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:02,774 Oh, you mean Ken? 64 00:02:02,818 --> 00:02:04,776 Yeah, he just embarrassed me in front of a whole tour group. 65 00:02:04,820 --> 00:02:06,909 I'll talk to him. What is this? 66 00:02:06,952 --> 00:02:07,953 Ah, well, you know how I hate it 67 00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:08,954 when people cheat or break rules? 68 00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:10,173 Yes, I do. 69 00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:12,175 Well, I just spent 150 bucks on wieners. 70 00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:13,220 Atta boy. 71 00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:15,918 Chumley. 72 00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:18,616 The beverage situation around here is reprehensible. 73 00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:20,401 Oh, good morning, sunshine. 74 00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:22,011 Surely our massive conglomerate 75 00:02:22,054 --> 00:02:26,842 parent company could spring for a samovar of coffee. 76 00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:28,757 Yeah, or like a big coffee dispenser. 77 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,411 That's what a samovar is. 78 00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:33,936 Are there other black nerds, or is it just you and Urkel? 79 00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:35,590 Uh, Cerie, 80 00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:36,982 do you wanna get some coffee? 81 00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:39,115 No, thank you. 82 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,464 No? 83 00:02:40,508 --> 00:02:41,900 Hey, Josh. 84 00:02:41,944 --> 00:02:43,337 I need to change your Michael Jackson thing. 85 00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:45,687 Didn't you tell me you had a Jay Leno impression? 86 00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:47,558 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Check it out. 87 00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:50,648 [bad Leno impression] So, uh, President Bush is in the news again. 88 00:02:50,692 --> 00:02:51,910 Have you heard about this? 89 00:02:51,954 --> 00:02:53,085 No, JayLeno. 90 00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:54,565 The host of the Tonight Show. Yeah. 91 00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:56,045 I thought that's what I was doing. 92 00:02:56,088 --> 00:02:57,916 [as Leno] So, uh, my wife Mavis and I 93 00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,918 like to go shopping for old cars. 94 00:02:59,962 --> 00:03:01,006 You know? No, no. 95 00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:02,094 Like Jay Leno. 96 00:03:02,138 --> 00:03:03,357 Like, "Hey, here are the headlines." 97 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:04,575 [writers imitating Leno] 98 00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:06,011 You ever--you ever notice 99 00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:07,796 when you eat a lot of cheese, and you-- 100 00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:09,928 How is that different from what I was doing, though? 101 00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:12,757 And I don't think you need to introduce the writers 102 00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:13,976 to the tour group. 103 00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:15,107 I agree. 104 00:03:15,151 --> 00:03:16,805 I thought they would find it interesting, 105 00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:18,067 but they really did not. 106 00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:20,243 Well, Kenneth, just respect their privacy. 107 00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:22,332 I promise I'll do better, Mr. Hornberger. 108 00:03:22,376 --> 00:03:23,681 Sure you will.I just-- 109 00:03:24,769 --> 00:03:26,510 I just love television so much. 110 00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:29,339 We all do. 111 00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:31,863 Liz, they want you and Pete on the 50th floor. 112 00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:32,908 Who, Gary? All right. 113 00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:34,126 Tell him I'll be up in half an hour. 114 00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:36,868 No, they said now. 115 00:03:36,912 --> 00:03:38,261 If they got cookies up there, grab some. 116 00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:40,002 Ooh, and get them to pay for my Samovar. 117 00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:41,133 Of course, I mean, I assume 118 00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:42,134 that's what we're meeting about. 119 00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:43,701 What about, uh, Ray Romano? 120 00:03:43,745 --> 00:03:44,789 Can you do Ray? 121 00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,138 [as Ray Romano] Hey. 122 00:03:46,182 --> 00:03:47,662 God, oh. 123 00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:49,141 Debra.There you go. 124 00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:50,534 My brother's tall. 125 00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:52,232 Right? 126 00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:53,624 Are we in trouble or something? 127 00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:55,931 No way. Gary loves the show. 128 00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:57,541 Pleased with the ratings. 129 00:03:57,585 --> 00:03:59,326 Right. Of course. 130 00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:01,371 They love us. 131 00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:05,723 [hammering and drilling] 132 00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:06,942 Where's Gary? 133 00:04:08,987 --> 00:04:11,294 Gary's dead. 134 00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:12,382 I'm Jack Donaghy. 135 00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:13,427 New VP of development 136 00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:15,255 for NBC/GE/Universal/Kmart. 137 00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:16,647 Oh, we own Kmart now. 138 00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:17,996 No. 139 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,042 So why are you dressed like we do? 140 00:04:23,915 --> 00:04:25,047 I'm surprised you're renovating. 141 00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:26,440 This is such a nice office. 142 00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:28,616 It's a great office, but sometimes, you have to 143 00:04:28,659 --> 00:04:30,444 change things that are perfectly good 144 00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:32,663 just to, uh, make them your own. 145 00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:35,318 Please. 146 00:04:35,362 --> 00:04:37,712 Ah, I'll call her back. 147 00:04:37,755 --> 00:04:39,322 Is she at the White House line? 148 00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:40,541 Great. 149 00:04:40,584 --> 00:04:42,934 Tell them I need a 4:00 a.m. tee off time. 150 00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:46,634 Uh, five inches, but it's thick. 151 00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:51,639 Are you familiar with the GE Tri-vection Oven? 152 00:04:51,682 --> 00:04:54,119 I don't cook very much. 153 00:04:54,163 --> 00:04:55,904 Sure, I got you. 154 00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:59,037 New York, third wave feminist, college educated. 155 00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:01,039 Single and pretending to be happy about it. 156 00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:03,259 Overscheduled, undersexed, you buy any magazine 157 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,479 that says "Healthy body image" on the cover. 158 00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:07,002 And every two years, 159 00:05:07,045 --> 00:05:08,917 you take up knitting for... 160 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,179 [pops tongue] 161 00:05:10,222 --> 00:05:11,398 A week. 162 00:05:11,441 --> 00:05:13,313 That is dead on! 163 00:05:13,356 --> 00:05:15,010 What, are you gonna guess my weight now? 164 00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:16,707 You don't want me to do that. 165 00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:18,187 That knitting thing is uncanny. 166 00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:19,449 How do you do that? 167 00:05:19,493 --> 00:05:21,277 Market research, my friend. 168 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,671 Years and years of market research, 169 00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:25,586 which lead to my greatest triumph. 170 00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:27,631 The Tri-vection oven. 171 00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:31,113 Oh, my wife wants one of those. 172 00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:32,462 Could we get Pete an oven, please? 173 00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:33,985 Hey. The GE Tri-vection oven 174 00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:35,987 cooks perfect food five times faster 175 00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:37,075 than a conventional oven, 176 00:05:37,119 --> 00:05:38,642 because it uses three kinds of heat. 177 00:05:38,686 --> 00:05:40,862 Thermal technology for consistent temperature. 178 00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:42,994 GE Precise Air convection technology 179 00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,300 for optimal air circulation, 180 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,999 and microwave technology for incredible speed. 181 00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:49,523 With three kinds of heat, 182 00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:54,310 you can cook a turkey in 22 minutes. 183 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:57,139 Wow. That is impressive. 184 00:05:57,182 --> 00:05:58,836 The people upstairs think so. 185 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,229 That's why they promoted me. 186 00:06:00,272 --> 00:06:02,362 That's why they sent me here to retool your show. 187 00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:04,538 Retool what now? 188 00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:07,105 I'm the new vice president of east coast television 189 00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:08,585 and microwave oven programming. 190 00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:11,719 That sounds like you program microwave ovens. 191 00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:13,895 I like you. 192 00:06:13,938 --> 00:06:17,507 You have the boldness of a much younger woman. 193 00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:21,206 [electric saw buzzing] 194 00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:24,645 Lee, does my face look bloated to you? 195 00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:27,909 When I played that lady rapist on Law and Order, 196 00:06:27,952 --> 00:06:30,694 guess what the makeup guy put on under my eyes 197 00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:32,043 to take the puffiness out? 198 00:06:32,087 --> 00:06:33,697 Hemorrhoid cream. 199 00:06:33,741 --> 00:06:34,829 [laughs] 200 00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:39,355 Ms. Maroney? 201 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,791 I have the cat wrangler here for you. 202 00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:43,533 Oh, is it that horrible little--Hi. 203 00:06:43,577 --> 00:06:46,014 Hey. Greta Johannsen. 204 00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:47,319 It's short for "LaGreta." 205 00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:49,060 Hi, great to see you again. You too. 206 00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:51,106 I'm here to introduce you to feline actors 207 00:06:51,149 --> 00:06:51,933 you're gonna be working with tonight. 208 00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:54,022 Okay. This is Po-Po. 209 00:06:54,065 --> 00:06:55,980 And this here is Captain Boots. Hello. 210 00:06:56,024 --> 00:06:57,199 Uh, would you describe yourself 211 00:06:57,242 --> 00:06:58,330 as "cat competent?" 212 00:06:58,374 --> 00:07:00,376 Oh, yes. I love cats. 213 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,899 I used to have two cats. 214 00:07:01,943 --> 00:07:03,858 But then I moved to this place with hardwood floors, 215 00:07:03,901 --> 00:07:05,294 so we had to put them down. 216 00:07:05,337 --> 00:07:07,296 [cat purring] 217 00:07:07,339 --> 00:07:09,124 I'm joking. 218 00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:10,473 [Jack] I've done several focus groups, 219 00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:13,041 on this show, and what I've gleaned-- 220 00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:15,913 The blonde, big-eyed girl 221 00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:18,002 is popular with women and older gays. 222 00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:20,570 Jenna, that's my friend Jenna. 223 00:07:20,614 --> 00:07:22,877 And the kid with the funny hair is liked by women, 224 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:26,358 but you're missing men between 18 and 49. 225 00:07:26,402 --> 00:07:28,491 I'm not missing them, they're just not there. 226 00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:30,406 I think I can fix that. 227 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,061 So your job is, you take things 228 00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:34,671 that are already working, and you fix them. 229 00:07:34,715 --> 00:07:36,847 That's a great job. 230 00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:38,370 Okay, let's-- Why don't we, um-- 231 00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:40,590 You're missing that third kind of heat. 232 00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:42,984 I want you to think about Tracy Jordan. 233 00:07:43,027 --> 00:07:44,507 Okay--the black guy? 234 00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:46,117 The black movie star. 235 00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:48,337 I flew with him on a private jet to the Super Bowl recently, 236 00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:49,686 and I found him very entertaining. 237 00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:51,514 Isn't he, um... 238 00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:53,298 crazy? 239 00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:56,040 Tracy's had his problems in the last few years. 240 00:07:56,084 --> 00:07:58,173 I am a Jedi! 241 00:07:58,216 --> 00:08:00,654 I am a Jedi! 242 00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:02,656 I am a Jedi![cars honking] 243 00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:03,918 The important thing to remember is, 244 00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:06,007 he was never charged with a crime. 245 00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:08,357 It's not illegal to fall asleep on your neighbor's roof. 246 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,054 Nor should it be. 247 00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:12,883 Tracy Jordan isthe third heat. 248 00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:15,233 I don't know where we're gonna find room in the budget 249 00:08:15,277 --> 00:08:16,626 for a guy like Tracy Jordan. 250 00:08:16,670 --> 00:08:18,193 I think I do. 251 00:08:21,196 --> 00:08:23,241 What are you doing? 252 00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:25,026 Sometimes when I have these stress dreams, 253 00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:27,768 if I go to sleep in the dream, I come out of it. 254 00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:30,466 "This is not a dream." 255 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,512 Tracy Jordan 256 00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:33,948 is in New York today, Liz. 257 00:08:33,991 --> 00:08:35,645 I'd like you to have lunch with him. 258 00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:37,995 We have a show tonight, Mr. Donaghy. 259 00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,606 I don't know if your research covered this, 260 00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:42,217 but we do a dress rehearsal, and then a live show. 261 00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:43,261 That's tonight. 262 00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:44,654 This is lunch. 263 00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:47,048 If it's not a good fit, I'll drop the whole thing. 264 00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:49,920 If I meet with Tracy Jordan, and we mutually agree 265 00:08:49,964 --> 00:08:51,922 that this is the worst idea ever, 266 00:08:51,966 --> 00:08:53,141 you'll back off? 267 00:08:53,184 --> 00:08:54,882 I'm known for being reasonable. 268 00:08:57,101 --> 00:08:58,363 [sighs] 269 00:08:58,407 --> 00:08:59,539 Okay. 270 00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:01,062 Alfredo, 2:00 p.m. 271 00:09:01,105 --> 00:09:02,585 I'm not dressed for that. 272 00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:03,847 You're dressed for Burger King. 273 00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:05,066 Should we make it Burger King? 274 00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:08,809 Pete, hang back for me. 275 00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:10,854 Yeah, you bet. 276 00:09:15,903 --> 00:09:19,123 Hey. 277 00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:20,603 What happened to your head? 278 00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:21,996 Uh, the sky is falling. 279 00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:23,780 Do you have a pair of dress pants 280 00:09:23,824 --> 00:09:25,913 or a skirt or something I could borrow? 281 00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:27,915 Thank you, Lee. Whatever. 282 00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:29,830 Hey, you know in that Cat Lady sketch? 283 00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:31,658 Do I have to hold a real cat? 284 00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:33,311 Cat Lady sketch? That thing's gonna get cut. 285 00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:35,531 [Jenna] Oh, good. 286 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,402 Who's that? 287 00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:39,535 That is the new network dude. 288 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,581 Mmm, yummers. 289 00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:43,583 He reminds me of Scotty on General Hospital. 290 00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:45,019 What? No, ew, Jenna. 291 00:09:45,062 --> 00:09:47,238 Do not like that man. That is a bad man. 292 00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:49,023 God, you have a gift. 293 00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:51,068 Laura Bush is your size. 294 00:09:53,462 --> 00:09:56,552 [energetic music] 295 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:59,860 ♪ 296 00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:01,688 Hi, uh, what are you doing down here? 297 00:10:01,731 --> 00:10:03,341 I'm known for being hands-on. 298 00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:04,778 Clearly. 299 00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:06,954 That's how you should dress for work, by the way. 300 00:10:06,997 --> 00:10:09,913 Yeah, if I was president of the Philippines. 301 00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:12,829 ♪ 302 00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:14,526 Afghanistan is a different situation... 303 00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:16,137 [restaurant patrons murmuring] 304 00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:17,921 I'll have an apple juice. 305 00:10:17,965 --> 00:10:19,357 Oh, we don't have apple juice, sir. 306 00:10:19,401 --> 00:10:22,665 Then I'll take a vodka and tonic. 307 00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:25,625 Hi, I'm Liz Lemon. 308 00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:27,191 I know who you are. 309 00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:31,761 I thought there was a... 310 00:10:31,805 --> 00:10:34,372 strict dress code at this place. 311 00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:36,374 I do recommend the pumpkin ravioli. 312 00:10:36,418 --> 00:10:38,028 They're very subtle. 313 00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:42,380 So, Tracy, this Jack Donaghy guy wanted me 314 00:10:42,424 --> 00:10:44,861 to talk to you about joining the cast of our show. 315 00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:46,907 And I don't know how you feel about that-- 316 00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:49,300 Lemme ask you a question. Everybody at this table. 317 00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:51,955 Did he just say the word "pumpkin" to me? 318 00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:55,176 Yes, um, pumpkin ravioli. 319 00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:56,699 Yo! I'm buggin'. 320 00:10:56,743 --> 00:10:58,875 I can't do this. I cannot eat here. 321 00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,355 I can't eat here. 322 00:11:00,398 --> 00:11:02,705 I got to go someplace where they make food that I like. 323 00:11:05,099 --> 00:11:07,231 Lemon, let's go. 324 00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:09,016 I will not work with Tracy Jordan. 325 00:11:09,059 --> 00:11:10,147 It's just a rumor. 326 00:11:10,191 --> 00:11:11,714 Have you seen any of his movies? 327 00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:13,455 The guy's sensibility is just cretinous. 328 00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:15,065 I saw the one where he plays, 329 00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:16,806 like, five different characters. 330 00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:17,981 Yeah, Black Cop/White Cop. 331 00:11:18,025 --> 00:11:19,504 No.Um... 332 00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:21,463 Who Dat Ninja?No, he-- 333 00:11:21,506 --> 00:11:23,987 He had to pretend to be this old lady... 334 00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:25,989 [high-pitched voice] Ooh, ooh, ooh! 335 00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:27,164 Goodness gracious! 336 00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:29,036 You hooligans better watch out. 337 00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:31,734 [deep thug voice] 'Cause this honky grandma be trippin'! 338 00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:34,128 Oh, yeah. That movie was hilarious. 339 00:11:34,171 --> 00:11:36,260 I saw it like five times. 340 00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:40,134 Where's the love? 341 00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:42,789 [customers cheering] 342 00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:45,182 Right on, let me get two apple chickens 343 00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:46,314 and some pecan waffles. 344 00:11:48,272 --> 00:11:49,447 Nothing for me, I-- 345 00:11:49,491 --> 00:11:51,754 I had, like, four hot dogs this morning. 346 00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:53,103 Eat, Lemon. Eat! 347 00:11:53,147 --> 00:11:54,975 I hate skinny women. 348 00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:56,324 Hey, Lorna. 349 00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:59,109 Ten beers. 350 00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:01,372 So, Tracy, we should talk about the show. 351 00:12:01,416 --> 00:12:02,765 Yeah, I ain't doing it 352 00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:04,158 unless I can get to do it my way. 353 00:12:04,201 --> 00:12:05,507 You know, I want it to be raw. 354 00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:07,030 HBO-style content. 355 00:12:07,074 --> 00:12:09,032 Well, it's not HBO. It's TV. 356 00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:11,252 And I don't think that it's a good fit-- 357 00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:13,254 You know, cause I wanna drop truth bombs. 358 00:12:13,297 --> 00:12:15,473 You know how pissed off I was when Us Weeklysaid 359 00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:16,518 that I was on crack? 360 00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:17,954 That's racism. 361 00:12:17,998 --> 00:12:19,173 I'm not on crack. 362 00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:20,783 I'm straight up mentally ill! 363 00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:21,871 Sure. 364 00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:23,612 I got mental health issues. 365 00:12:23,655 --> 00:12:26,006 Sure, well, you know... Who doesn't, really? 366 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:31,054 Hey, has anyone seen Liz? Or Pete? 367 00:12:31,098 --> 00:12:32,360 She went out. 368 00:12:32,403 --> 00:12:33,883 Well, who's in charge when they're not here? 369 00:12:33,927 --> 00:12:35,102 I'm in charge. 370 00:12:35,145 --> 00:12:36,886 Oh. Okay. 371 00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:39,976 Um, well, I'm not sure about this costume. 372 00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:41,282 I think it's hot. 373 00:12:41,325 --> 00:12:42,892 [giggling] Thank you. 374 00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:44,241 I'm Jenna, by the way. 375 00:12:44,285 --> 00:12:45,416 Ms. Moroney, 376 00:12:45,460 --> 00:12:46,940 I got the hemorrhoid cream you wanted. 377 00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:52,946 It's for my face. 378 00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:54,948 Well, wherever you're putting it, 379 00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:56,036 I think it's working. 380 00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:01,911 You know, I don't-- I don't think you'd like it. 381 00:13:01,955 --> 00:13:03,478 'Cause we work a lot of hours, 382 00:13:03,521 --> 00:13:05,610 and it's live TV, which is risky. 383 00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:06,873 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like risky. 384 00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:08,875 See, me and you, we play the game. 385 00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:09,919 We know how to be acceptable. 386 00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:11,703 [fawning] Hello, great meeting. 387 00:13:11,747 --> 00:13:13,053 I drink coffee, please. 388 00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:15,055 This show is our chance 389 00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:16,273 to break the shackles. 390 00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:18,319 'Cause the white dudes want to see us fail. 391 00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:20,147 What white dudes? 392 00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:21,496 All of 'em. 393 00:13:21,539 --> 00:13:23,106 Jack Donaghy, General Electric, 394 00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:24,978 George Bush, Karl Robe. 395 00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:26,370 Karl Robe,you say? 396 00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:27,589 Affirmative action 397 00:13:27,632 --> 00:13:29,504 was designed to keep women and minorities 398 00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:30,853 in competition with each other. 399 00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:32,855 To distract us while white dudes 400 00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:35,075 inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets. 401 00:13:35,118 --> 00:13:36,380 That's a metaphor. 402 00:13:36,424 --> 00:13:37,860 Sure. 403 00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,644 You should tell that to Us Weekly. 404 00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:44,954 Hey, Lemon. You like karaoke? 405 00:13:44,998 --> 00:13:45,999 I know a joint. 406 00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:47,261 No, no, I-- I gotta wrap up 407 00:13:47,304 --> 00:13:48,958 this lunch meeting, Tracy. 408 00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:53,049 I'll take you. I'll take you. 409 00:13:53,093 --> 00:13:56,096 I just gotta make a quick stop first. 410 00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:58,707 [pounding bass line] 411 00:13:58,750 --> 00:13:59,882 [patrons clapping and whistling] 412 00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:01,188 You know what, 413 00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:03,103 when people say they need to make a quick stop, 414 00:14:03,146 --> 00:14:05,540 they usually mean at the bank or the store. 415 00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:08,151 No, thank you. 416 00:14:08,195 --> 00:14:09,674 You know what, 417 00:14:09,718 --> 00:14:11,938 this is for computer classes. 418 00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:13,417 Know why I should do this TV show, Lemon? 419 00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:15,071 I really don't. 420 00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:16,551 To get you rich. 421 00:14:16,594 --> 00:14:18,031 'Cause you know if I'm on that TV show, 422 00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:19,032 it's gon' blow up. 423 00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:20,990 How do you know I'm not rich? 424 00:14:21,034 --> 00:14:22,383 Your teeth. 425 00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:24,341 You got to think like these strippers, Lemon. 426 00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:26,953 They know the window of opportunity's 427 00:14:26,996 --> 00:14:28,476 only open for a moment. 428 00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:29,869 You gotta get in when you're young. 429 00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:31,087 Get the money and get out. 430 00:14:31,131 --> 00:14:32,959 Yeah, well, I'm not a sex worker, Tracy. 431 00:14:33,002 --> 00:14:34,221 I don't have sex for a living. 432 00:14:34,264 --> 00:14:35,613 Neither do we. 433 00:14:35,657 --> 00:14:37,485 Neither do they. 434 00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:39,704 [quietly] Yes, they do. 435 00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:52,500 Where is my phone? 436 00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:56,896 [karaoke track of Love is a Battlefield] 437 00:14:56,939 --> 00:15:00,595 ♪ We are strong 438 00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:05,861 ♪ No one can tell us we're wrong ♪ 439 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:09,952 ♪ Searching our hearts for so lo-ong ♪ 440 00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:11,954 He's got charisma. 441 00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:15,915 No, that's Charisma over there. 442 00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:16,741 [phone rings] 443 00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:18,787 Girlie Show. 444 00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:20,571 [Liz on phone] Ken, send me a car, okay? 445 00:15:20,615 --> 00:15:21,921 What is your location? 446 00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:24,532 Dark Sensations, in the Bronx. 447 00:15:24,575 --> 00:15:26,186 I wish you were here. 448 00:15:26,229 --> 00:15:28,928 Mr. Donaghy does not get us showbiz people. 449 00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,755 Let me talk to Pete, okay? 450 00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:32,670 Oh, Pete got fired this morning. 451 00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:34,716 That's so weird that you don't know that. 452 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,595 Jack Donaghy thinks he's gonna come into my house 453 00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:45,727 and mess with my show? 454 00:15:45,770 --> 00:15:47,207 Hell no. 455 00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:49,383 Jenna and I worked for years 456 00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:50,601 to get this show. 457 00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:52,864 You know, I moved from Chicago for this. 458 00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:54,127 From Chicago? 459 00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:56,129 I was in Scottie Pippen's wedding. 460 00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:58,783 Now Donaghy is trying to steal it from us. 461 00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:02,874 He already fired Pete, who is a great producer. 462 00:16:02,918 --> 00:16:05,790 He fired Pete? He can't fire Pete. 463 00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:07,662 You know what, I quit. He can suck it. 464 00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:08,793 Mm-hmm. 465 00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:10,186 Yeah, suck it, Pete. 466 00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:11,709 No, you're not listening. 467 00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:14,451 You're not a good listener. 468 00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:15,757 [stage manager] 20 minutes to air. 469 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,889 But Liz said we were cutting the cat lady sketch. 470 00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:19,587 She said it stinks. Ouch. 471 00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:20,805 This is why Liz is wrong. 472 00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:23,112 Animal humor is universal. 473 00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:25,027 I just don't think that I'm good in it. 474 00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:26,159 Do you think I'm good in it? 475 00:16:26,202 --> 00:16:27,595 I think this is your opportunity 476 00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,379 to go out there and prove everybody wrong. 477 00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:31,468 What--what do you mean? Who's everybody? 478 00:16:31,512 --> 00:16:32,861 The network that wanted to fire you, 479 00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:34,819 the focus groups that said you had a weird eye-- 480 00:16:34,863 --> 00:16:36,082 You mean this eye? 481 00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:37,474 Okay, this eye-- It doesn't open all the way 482 00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:39,694 because when I was little, my sister peed in it. 483 00:16:39,737 --> 00:16:40,869 Tonight is your opportunity to go out there 484 00:16:40,912 --> 00:16:42,305 and change all of our minds. 485 00:16:42,349 --> 00:16:44,742 What? 486 00:16:44,786 --> 00:16:46,744 [tearing up] Where is Liz? 487 00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:48,224 Liz?! 488 00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:49,269 [loud hip-hop music] 489 00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:50,574 ♪ Yo yo yo, Go, baby pop ♪ 490 00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,663 ♪ Yeah, you come and give me a kiss ♪ 491 00:16:52,707 --> 00:16:56,232 ♪ Better make it fast, or else I'm gonna get busy ♪ 492 00:16:56,276 --> 00:16:58,191 ♪ Can't you hear the music pumping hard ♪ 493 00:16:58,234 --> 00:16:59,540 ♪ Like I wish you would ♪ 494 00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:01,368 [woman on P.A.] Four minutes to air. 495 00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:02,543 That's four minutes to air. 496 00:17:02,586 --> 00:17:03,848 Is Liz back yet? 497 00:17:03,892 --> 00:17:06,068 No, which cat do you want Jenna to carry? 498 00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,200 I'm sorry? 499 00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:09,202 Which cat?Oh. 500 00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:12,683 I want...that one. 501 00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:15,382 [woman on P.A.] Jack Donaghy to the control room, please. 502 00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:16,426 Jack Donaghy. 503 00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:17,949 Peanut's not an actor. 504 00:17:17,993 --> 00:17:19,647 I just--I just rescued him from a lab. 505 00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:20,691 [cats meowing] 506 00:17:20,735 --> 00:17:21,736 [exhales] 507 00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,697 Hey, Lemon, I'll drop you off. 508 00:17:26,741 --> 00:17:28,438 Where do you live? 509 00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,223 The studio. 510 00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:31,920 I want you to drop me at the studio. 511 00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:34,270 I want to tell Donaghey to his face that I quit. 512 00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:36,098 And I want to do it in front of the whole crew, 513 00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:38,144 so that they know he didn't fire me. 514 00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:41,016 I wanna see that. 515 00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:43,758 [funky pop music] 516 00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:45,499 ♪ Gonna turn the lights down low ♪ 517 00:17:45,542 --> 00:17:47,501 ♪ It's almost time for the Girlie Show♪ 518 00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:50,982 ♪ 519 00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:52,941 Ooh, ooh, pull over. Pull over here. 520 00:17:52,984 --> 00:17:55,117 Tracy, I don't have time for this. 521 00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:59,643 ♪ 522 00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:01,210 This is where I grew up. 523 00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:05,388 This is the Jordan family estate? 524 00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:06,520 [scoffs] 525 00:18:06,563 --> 00:18:08,217 Wasn't no Jordan family nothin'. 526 00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:10,132 This is where I was in foster care. 527 00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:12,091 Oh. Sorry. 528 00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:13,701 Me and two other dudes 529 00:18:13,744 --> 00:18:15,137 and a girl with messed-up fingers. 530 00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:19,402 I'm so lucky I got out of here. 531 00:18:21,187 --> 00:18:23,145 It's not luck, I mean... 532 00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:24,538 You got out of here 533 00:18:24,581 --> 00:18:26,757 because you're very talented, and... 534 00:18:26,801 --> 00:18:29,064 people love you, and... 535 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,631 Are you peeing? 536 00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:35,766 [upbeat jazzy music] 537 00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:36,898 ♪ 538 00:18:36,941 --> 00:18:38,378 Where's Donaghy? 539 00:18:38,421 --> 00:18:39,770 I wanna talk to him right now. 540 00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:41,816 Last time I saw him, he was riding a crane camera. 541 00:18:41,859 --> 00:18:45,080 Oh, I have Pete for you. 542 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,690 Pete, oh, my God. I didn't know. 543 00:18:46,734 --> 00:18:47,909 No, hey, listen. 544 00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:49,040 It'll--it'll give me a chance 545 00:18:49,084 --> 00:18:50,433 to spend more time with my kids. 546 00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:51,739 I'm quitting. I'm quitting right now. 547 00:18:51,782 --> 00:18:52,827 No, no, no, no, no. 548 00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:54,220 You have the best job in New York. 549 00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:56,352 Don't quit over this. Don't buy all the hot dogs. 550 00:18:56,396 --> 00:18:57,440 Okay? 551 00:18:57,484 --> 00:18:59,268 I don't want to do this without you. 552 00:18:59,312 --> 00:19:01,879 Hey, I thought we cut the Cat Lady sketch. 553 00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:06,841 We're two minutes short! 554 00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:08,669 [meowing] 555 00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:10,236 [Jenna as Cat Lady] So, let me introduce myself. 556 00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:12,629 My name is Lurleen Katz. 557 00:19:12,673 --> 00:19:15,980 And these are my cats. 558 00:19:16,024 --> 00:19:17,634 She's using a real cat? 559 00:19:17,678 --> 00:19:19,636 I cast that cat myself. 560 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,290 And sir, while they are my--[hissing] 561 00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:22,422 Ow! 562 00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:24,989 [cat howling] 563 00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:26,600 Aaugh! 564 00:19:26,643 --> 00:19:27,818 [thump][audience boos] 565 00:19:27,862 --> 00:19:29,820 No, no, no, no, no. He's okay. 566 00:19:29,864 --> 00:19:31,082 [hissing] 567 00:19:31,126 --> 00:19:32,910 I need you to talk for two minutes. 568 00:19:32,954 --> 00:19:34,216 About what? 569 00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:35,348 Anything. 570 00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:38,655 All right. 571 00:19:38,699 --> 00:19:40,222 These cats are more than just pets, sir. 572 00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:42,311 Why, just this morning--Excuse me! 573 00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:43,921 Where is the manager? 574 00:19:43,965 --> 00:19:45,706 I'm from the government, and I'm here 575 00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:47,925 to inspect your chicken nuggets. 576 00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:49,797 [enthusiastic cheers] 577 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:52,103 [laughing] 578 00:19:52,147 --> 00:19:54,497 Uh-oh. Look at Shorty. 579 00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:57,935 This honky grandma be trippin'. 580 00:19:57,979 --> 00:20:00,808 [laughter and applause] 581 00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:02,462 What's up, America? 582 00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:05,291 I'm coming into your house live. 583 00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:08,119 Lemme hear you say "We love you, Tracy." 584 00:20:08,163 --> 00:20:10,296 [audience] We love you, Tracy! 585 00:20:10,339 --> 00:20:13,124 I am the third heat! 586 00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:14,822 [cheers and applause] 587 00:20:14,865 --> 00:20:16,780 Yeah! 588 00:20:16,824 --> 00:20:17,999 That was pretty good. 589 00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:21,220 [cheers and applause] 590 00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:24,484 Are you drunk? 591 00:20:24,527 --> 00:20:26,007 Yes. 592 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,922 Why did you fire Pete? 593 00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:29,402 Why did you disappear all night? 594 00:20:29,445 --> 00:20:30,838 Is this some kind of a power play? 595 00:20:30,881 --> 00:20:31,795 Yeah, yeah. 596 00:20:31,839 --> 00:20:33,275 It's not so fun being "hands on" 597 00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:34,581 with these bloodsuckers, is it? 598 00:20:34,624 --> 00:20:35,886 Could we talk about this on Monday? 599 00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:38,149 No. I want Pete back. 600 00:20:38,193 --> 00:20:40,804 I want it in writing that Jenna's job is safe, 601 00:20:40,848 --> 00:20:43,285 and I want a cappuccino machine 602 00:20:43,329 --> 00:20:44,373 for the writers' room. 603 00:20:44,417 --> 00:20:46,288 Fine. 604 00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:47,985 I thought you were going to quit. 605 00:20:48,029 --> 00:20:50,074 Yeah, well, you don't know everything about me. 606 00:20:50,118 --> 00:20:52,555 You weigh 127 pounds. 607 00:20:55,428 --> 00:20:56,820 Yeah. 608 00:21:03,174 --> 00:21:04,175 [big band music] 609 00:21:04,219 --> 00:21:05,525 [Jenna] Thank you, good night. 610 00:21:05,568 --> 00:21:06,874 Sleep tight. 611 00:21:06,917 --> 00:21:08,136 Hey. 612 00:21:08,179 --> 00:21:10,399 You will be hearing from Peanut's lawyer. 613 00:21:11,879 --> 00:21:13,620 Good night, sleep tight. 614 00:21:13,663 --> 00:21:16,666 I can't wait to do this with you every week.