1 00:00:19,300 --> 00:00:23,299 New York City, the world capital of culture and industry. 2 00:00:23,300 --> 00:00:25,300 Here, among the towering skyscrapers, 3 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:30,299 civilization is guided by men of progress and the wonders of technology. 4 00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:34,299 But for all this industrial advancement, there is a price to pay. 5 00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:38,800 Pollution. The unavoidable byproduct of today's society. 6 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:45,299 Every year, millions of gallons of poisonous wastes, 7 00:00:45,300 --> 00:00:48,799 garbage, and radioactive chemicals are disposed of in nearby towns 8 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:53,300 such as Tromaville, the toxic waste dumping capital of the world. 9 00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:56,999 Our story takes place at the Tromaville Health Club 10 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,500 Where a young man named Melvin Furd works. 11 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:02,299 Melvin's entire life, in fact 12 00:01:02,300 --> 00:01:06,800 entire being was changed by toxic chemical waste. 13 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,300 Would you take a look at that fucking guy? 14 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:35,300 Dumb mop boy can't even mop right. 15 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,299 He's so stupid! 16 00:02:38,300 --> 00:02:41,300 He's always got that shit-eating grin on his face. 17 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,300 What's he so happy about? 18 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:45,800 I hate that mop boy. 19 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:51,300 I think that creep is coming over here. 20 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:58,299 Julie, you smell something? 21 00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:02,800 Ew! P-U! What's that stink? 22 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:09,800 Gee, that's funny. I don't smell nothing. 23 00:03:12,300 --> 00:03:14,799 Melvin, clean up the toilet, it stinks over here! 24 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:18,300 OK. I'll be right there! 25 00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:24,299 Look what you did, you fucking asshole! 26 00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:26,299 Yeah, you fucking asshole! 27 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:28,799 - Hey, what are you, retarded? - Huh? retarded? 28 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:29,300 I'm sorry! 29 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,299 Sorry, huh? 30 00:03:31,300 --> 00:03:32,300 You want me to go and get a fucking disease! 31 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,800 Yeah, you want her to go and get a fucking disease? 32 00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:36,299 I didn't mean it! 33 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,140 Aw, I didn't mean it. 34 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:43,800 Next time you fuck with me, I'm gonna take this mop and shove it down your throat. 35 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,299 He is stressing me, Julie! 36 00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:48,799 He is stressing me! 37 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:49,799 Oh, Bozo... 38 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:53,800 I can't take it. I cannot take it Julie. He is screwing up my karma! 39 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,799 See what you did, you idiot? See what you did!? 40 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:02,299 You've stressed Bozo! 41 00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:06,299 I'm sorry, Julie. I didn't mean to do it. He was sitting there and I... 42 00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:09,900 Ah! How dare you talk to me, you twerp! 43 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,300 Keep it up, Bozo. Keep it up. 44 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,400 But remember, 45 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,300 there is only one muscle you gotta worry about. 46 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:39,299 Hey, you know. I think you ought to work a little bit on your gut. 47 00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:41,300 You're getting a little bit flabby there. 48 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,799 Where!? What are you talking about? 49 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,800 I don't got no fat! There's no fat here. I don't got no f... 50 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,300 Fat! Fat! 51 00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:08,799 Slug, are you sure no one will come in? 52 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,799 I paid Tony 15 bucks. 53 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:14,300 He said the place is ours until tomorrow morning. 54 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,799 Relax. You want a drink? 55 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,600 - Yeah. - Alright. 56 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:31,299 Slug, can I come again next time you and Bozo go driving? 57 00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:34,199 If you want to, bad enough. 58 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,799 I love it when we go real fast. 59 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:38,299 And they never know what hit 'em. 60 00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:41,399 They never believe we're going to run 'em down. 61 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:44,399 We keep getting closer and closer. 62 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,699 And faster and faster. 63 00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:48,999 They're just standing there and yeah. 64 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,199 We hit them! 65 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,199 I love the sound of breaking bones! 66 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:55,299 The car driving over them, dragging their bodies. 67 00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:57,799 All that beautiful blood! 68 00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,799 Slug! 69 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,800 I want you, now. 70 00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:07,300 Oh, Slug! 71 00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,000 Oh, Slug! 72 00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:33,000 Give it to me! Give it to me! More! More! 73 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,000 Get out of here, you pervert! 74 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,000 Or I'll kill ya! 75 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:08,299 Julie. Julie, the points. The rules, what are they? 76 00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:10,799 Let me see if I can remember the whole list. 77 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:16,799 Now, jews, whops, niggers and chinks, 78 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,300 they're all worth twenty-five points. 79 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:22,799 But Puerto Ricans, they're worth thirty points. 80 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:27,300 Now kids under twelve they're worth double points. 81 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,499 Skippy, don't forget your helmet. 82 00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:31,500 OK, sis. 83 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,800 And be careful out there. 84 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:41,800 Julie, does it count if I graze them? 85 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:49,500 You got to destroy them! Bozo, I want them dead. 86 00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,499 Now we're gonna get 'em. 87 00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:59,000 Come on. Come on! Come on! Where the fuck is everybody? Where the fuck is everybody? 88 00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:08,499 How much is a kid on a bicycle? 89 00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:09,220 Where? 90 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:14,300 Twenty-eight points if you get both the kid and the bike? 91 00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:17,200 Let's take a closer look. 92 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,799 Oh, he a cute little boy, isn't he? 93 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:26,300 Out pretty late, aren't you, honey? 94 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,299 The coast is clear, Bozo. 95 00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:32,800 We got him! 96 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:42,800 We're gonna kill him! We're gonna get him! 97 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,499 Now you get full points! 98 00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:10,000 No way! The kid's still moving! 99 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,300 We're not finished yet! 100 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,299 He's still moving, no way you get full points. 101 00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:20,800 No way, huh? No way? I'll fucking show you no way. 102 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,800 Give me that! Gibe me that! 103 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:44,799 Full points, my man! 104 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:48,300 Look at him! Wow, oh my God! 105 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:59,100 These are gonna be the best shots we've ever taken. 106 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,100 Yeah, this is fun! 107 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,600 These are great! 108 00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:08,100 Show me your pretty pictures! 109 00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:15,600 That was good! That was good! 110 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,100 I want to do it again! I want to do it again! 111 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,600 - Yeah, let's do it again! - Yeah, let's go for it again! 112 00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:27,099 No, no I can't. I've got to go home. 113 00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:28,099 What? 114 00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:30,600 Well, I got to get up early in the morning. 115 00:10:30,900 --> 00:10:32,400 Got to go to church. 116 00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:33,950 Oh! 117 00:10:39,148 --> 00:10:41,648 And up! Up! Up! Up! 118 00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:44,674 Now kick! Out! Out! Out! 119 00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:47,100 Now arms up! Stop. Stop. 120 00:10:47,300 --> 00:10:50,799 That's really pitiful. Just stop. Just stop a second. 121 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,799 Look how many times do I have to tell you people? 122 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,300 Do exactly what I do. 123 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,599 If I kick my right foot, you kick your right foot. 124 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,399 If I kick my left foot, you kick your left foot. 125 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,499 Okay? Whatever I do, you do exactly the same thing. 126 00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:08,500 Okay? Now how about we start again? You're gonna do exactly what I'm doing. 127 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,750 Okay guys, you know what I'm talking about? 128 00:11:10,751 --> 00:11:15,000 Let's go, let's do it this time. Okay! Let's get the music! 5, 6, 7, and hey, hey... 129 00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:40,699 Watch what I'm doing here. Watch how I hit this ball. 130 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,700 Are you watching me!? Are you watching me!? 131 00:11:42,725 --> 00:11:45,285 I'm going to kill it! I'm going to kill it! I'm going to kill it! 132 00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:50,000 Aah! I'm gonna kick that freak's mouth in! 133 00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:55,599 Bozo, it's okay. It's okay. Hey, guys, come here. 134 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:59,100 Have I got a plan to fix that mop boys wagon. 135 00:11:59,455 --> 00:12:00,650 Great! What is it? 136 00:12:01,641 --> 00:12:02,641 Well... 137 00:12:07,547 --> 00:12:08,490 Hi, Melvin. 138 00:12:08,505 --> 00:12:10,100 Whoa! 139 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:14,024 Melvin. Melvin, it's okay. It's okay. 140 00:12:14,063 --> 00:12:20,100 Hey, I just came to apologize. Yes, I didn't mean to be so nasty yesterday. 141 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:23,099 Oh, that's okay, Julie. I didn't really mind. 142 00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:25,599 In fact, I was hoping you could help me, 143 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,600 with a little problem. I've been having. 144 00:12:27,825 --> 00:12:30,099 - Who, me? - Yes but... 145 00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:33,100 I can't talk about here with all these people around. 146 00:12:33,607 --> 00:12:36,035 Hey, I got a great idea. 147 00:12:36,372 --> 00:12:38,213 Why don't you meet me in the girls locker room? 148 00:12:38,911 --> 00:12:40,669 Girls' locker room? 149 00:12:40,732 --> 00:12:44,600 Yes. Then we can discuss it alone. 150 00:12:45,092 --> 00:12:47,333 Oh, oh! 151 00:12:49,849 --> 00:12:51,333 Okay. 152 00:12:51,373 --> 00:12:53,380 Great! Let's say 7 o'clock. 153 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:56,534 Okay. That'll be good for me, too, 'cause I gotta to clean the toilets 154 00:12:56,549 --> 00:12:59,100 in there around that time anyway. 155 00:12:59,745 --> 00:13:01,599 Good. It's a date. See you then. 156 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,600 Okay. 157 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:13,590 490... 491... 492... 158 00:13:15,491 --> 00:13:23,491 493... 494... 495... 159 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:28,313 Hi, guys. Well, Melvin fell for it. Hook line and sinker. 160 00:13:28,327 --> 00:13:29,000 Great! 161 00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:38,599 We've been driving for two whole hours. 162 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,205 Let's pull this rig over and take a break. 163 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:42,611 Hey, the boss'll have our asses. 164 00:13:42,627 --> 00:13:44,838 You know he don't want us to stop in habitated areas 165 00:13:44,853 --> 00:13:47,599 with this radioactive chemical waste we got on the back. 166 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:51,296 It's dangerous. It's like that cancerogenic stuff, you know. 167 00:13:51,327 --> 00:13:55,455 Hey Joey, you remember that dope we were snorting last week? 168 00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:59,752 - Do I? - Well, buddy boy. Check this out. 169 00:13:59,845 --> 00:14:01,599 Holy shit! Why didn't you say so. 170 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,600 Let's pull it over! 171 00:14:13,123 --> 00:14:14,021 Julie. 172 00:14:14,647 --> 00:14:18,002 - Hi, Melvin. - Hi, Julie. 173 00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:20,041 Come in, don't be shy. 174 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:24,600 So, what was it that you wanted me to help you with? 175 00:14:24,979 --> 00:14:27,099 - Well, it's about Bozo. - Bozo? 176 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,099 Yeah, you see, I'm so sick of the way he goes around 177 00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:31,599 pushing people around all the time. 178 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,599 He's so immature. 179 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:37,100 In fact, I don't like to go out with him anymore. 180 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:40,600 But I don't know quite how to tell him. 181 00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:45,599 In fact, Melvin, I think you're handsome, 182 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:53,600 and sensitive and kind. Oh, Melvin, I find you irresistible. 183 00:14:55,871 --> 00:14:57,100 - Me? - Yes. 184 00:14:57,821 --> 00:15:00,212 Melvin, I want to do it with you. 185 00:15:00,256 --> 00:15:00,977 Do it? 186 00:15:00,994 --> 00:15:01,884 Do it! 187 00:15:01,911 --> 00:15:02,742 Do what? 188 00:15:02,798 --> 00:15:04,099 Do it, Melvin, do it! 189 00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:07,363 Do it? Okay. 190 00:15:07,722 --> 00:15:10,712 Wait a minute. Have I got a great idea, Melvin. 191 00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:11,719 What is it? 192 00:15:11,742 --> 00:15:13,100 We'll go down by the pool. 193 00:15:13,469 --> 00:15:15,907 And afterward we can take a cool dip. 194 00:15:16,446 --> 00:15:17,575 Alright. 195 00:15:18,060 --> 00:15:20,841 There's one other little thing, Melvin. 196 00:15:21,552 --> 00:15:23,100 You're not wearing pink. 197 00:15:23,786 --> 00:15:26,600 - Pink? - It's my favorite color. 198 00:15:27,261 --> 00:15:30,073 I have my pink on. 199 00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:34,599 So, I brought this for you. 200 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:39,600 - But this is sissy stuff. - Oh, no, Melvin. Pink makes me so hot. 201 00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:42,100 - It does. - Yes. 202 00:15:42,634 --> 00:15:46,942 If you put on your pink, I'll take off my pink. 203 00:15:52,435 --> 00:15:56,600 - I love pink! - Hurry up, I'll be waiting for you. 204 00:15:58,276 --> 00:16:00,432 - And bring your mop. - I will! 205 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:26,599 - Julie? - Here I am, Melvin. 206 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:30,295 It's so dark in here, where are you? I can't see you 207 00:16:30,334 --> 00:16:34,100 I'm right here, Melvin. Come here. 208 00:16:34,818 --> 00:16:37,100 My lips are waiting for you, Melvin. 209 00:16:37,842 --> 00:16:40,332 Whoa, put your arms around me. 210 00:16:40,386 --> 00:16:44,426 Oh, Julie! Julie! Oh, Julie! I'm here! 211 00:16:44,450 --> 00:16:46,600 Okay! Turn on the light! 212 00:16:49,192 --> 00:16:51,015 You're so soft, Julie. 213 00:16:51,028 --> 00:16:52,028 Baaa. 214 00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:53,420 Ooh! 215 00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:24,708 Ooh, he doesn't look very good to me. 216 00:18:24,747 --> 00:18:25,989 Aaahh! 217 00:18:28,598 --> 00:18:30,872 He's faking it, Julie! He's faking it. 218 00:18:35,052 --> 00:18:36,324 I think he's in trouble. 219 00:18:36,412 --> 00:18:39,412 Julie, this guy, if he can't take a joke, he stinks. 220 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:45,908 Get back! Get back! Step off! Get back! 221 00:18:45,955 --> 00:18:46,939 Get out of here! 222 00:18:47,481 --> 00:18:48,658 Easy, guy. 223 00:19:05,373 --> 00:19:07,797 Melvin's on fire! Melvin's on fire! 224 00:19:24,381 --> 00:19:27,121 Melvin, dear, are you alright? 225 00:19:28,982 --> 00:19:30,730 Is anything the matter? 226 00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:39,411 God, my arms! Ow! Ow! 227 00:19:41,278 --> 00:19:42,499 Oh my feet! 228 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:48,492 Oh my God! Ahhhhhh! 229 00:20:21,646 --> 00:20:23,349 Aaahhh! 230 00:20:23,873 --> 00:20:25,494 Are you okay? 231 00:20:40,451 --> 00:20:42,384 Melvin, dear, are you alright? 232 00:21:21,145 --> 00:21:27,145 My little Melvin! He must have finally reached puberty. 233 00:21:27,990 --> 00:21:29,532 Grrrr! 234 00:21:43,623 --> 00:21:45,795 One. Two. 235 00:21:46,131 --> 00:21:49,052 Three. Four. Five. 236 00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:51,817 When we lay this wad on, old Clancy. 237 00:21:51,849 --> 00:21:54,539 The boss is going to have him by the balls. 238 00:21:56,023 --> 00:21:58,437 I don't think old Clancy will take the money. 239 00:21:58,492 --> 00:22:01,148 Everyone says he's an honest cop. 240 00:22:01,195 --> 00:22:05,560 If he don't take the dough, I'm gonna give him a blow. 241 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:06,310 Ha ha! 242 00:22:06,334 --> 00:22:08,576 A pair of knuckles. 243 00:22:13,628 --> 00:22:19,260 Well, if it ain't, Cigar Face. What are you and your friends up to? 244 00:22:19,456 --> 00:22:22,049 We brought you a little present from the boss. 245 00:22:22,205 --> 00:22:22,987 Here. 246 00:22:26,786 --> 00:22:29,993 No way. You're wasting your time. 247 00:22:30,009 --> 00:22:32,118 No. That's where you're wrong. 248 00:22:32,524 --> 00:22:34,100 You're wasting our time. 249 00:22:36,178 --> 00:22:38,178 Now we're going to waste you! 250 00:22:39,381 --> 00:22:40,381 Ow! 251 00:22:42,264 --> 00:22:47,112 Now you're going to find out why they call me Cigar Face. 252 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:54,085 Aaahh! 253 00:22:58,607 --> 00:22:59,831 Get him Nipples, yeah! 254 00:23:08,967 --> 00:23:10,220 Come on, now. Come on! 255 00:23:20,373 --> 00:23:22,039 What the matter, Clancy? 256 00:23:25,756 --> 00:23:27,008 Get him! 257 00:23:37,623 --> 00:23:42,085 Honest cops are all alike! A bunch of fuckin' fagots! 258 00:23:43,058 --> 00:23:46,241 What do you say, shall I blow his nose off or what? 259 00:23:46,513 --> 00:23:48,874 Boss says if he doesn't want to cooperate, 260 00:23:49,045 --> 00:23:51,567 we should make love to him. 261 00:23:52,466 --> 00:23:55,848 Well, whatever the boss says, goes. 262 00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:00,218 No... No, no, please! Please, oh God, please. 263 00:24:00,264 --> 00:24:03,715 No, no. No, please. Come on. I've got a family! 264 00:24:03,740 --> 00:24:05,903 Say your prayers, copper! 265 00:24:14,537 --> 00:24:15,554 Holy shit! 266 00:24:40,137 --> 00:24:44,596 Could that be the, O'Shanahee boy back from school. 267 00:24:46,341 --> 00:24:47,393 No! No! 268 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:54,740 Grrr! 269 00:25:00,505 --> 00:25:01,527 Ow! 270 00:25:02,263 --> 00:25:06,013 Aaahhh! 271 00:25:18,506 --> 00:25:21,896 Aaaahhhh! 272 00:25:23,100 --> 00:25:26,490 Aaahhh! 273 00:26:20,092 --> 00:26:22,942 I'll get you for this, you monster faggot! 274 00:26:25,271 --> 00:26:27,622 Grrrr! 275 00:26:37,318 --> 00:26:39,360 Don't worry. Don't worry, I won't hurt you. 276 00:26:39,540 --> 00:26:40,938 I don't know what came over me. 277 00:26:42,638 --> 00:26:45,138 I just couldn't control myself. 278 00:26:45,162 --> 00:26:47,578 I've never done anything like this before. 279 00:26:58,896 --> 00:26:59,664 Bye. 280 00:27:01,646 --> 00:27:02,539 Quiet! 281 00:27:03,629 --> 00:27:06,410 Quiet! 282 00:27:06,842 --> 00:27:13,790 Now, you will raise your hand and you will ask one question at a time. 283 00:27:14,319 --> 00:27:15,819 Exactly where did it happen? 284 00:27:16,021 --> 00:27:18,204 It happened in Shinbone Alley. 285 00:27:18,418 --> 00:27:20,418 These three guys were going to kill me, see. 286 00:27:20,427 --> 00:27:24,428 And then of nowhere comes this thing, this monster, 287 00:27:24,474 --> 00:27:26,701 I never seen anything like it before. 288 00:27:26,740 --> 00:27:30,318 Because it took the three guys and threw them away. 289 00:27:30,410 --> 00:27:34,410 I don't know what it was but, but God bless him, 'cause he saved my life. 290 00:27:47,146 --> 00:27:48,553 Alright, boys. 291 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:50,700 Chief, what have you got? 292 00:27:51,903 --> 00:27:55,584 That alleyway was the most gruesome sight I have ever seen. 293 00:27:55,926 --> 00:27:57,240 Gruesome, huh? 294 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,199 Have you ever met my mother-in-law? 295 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,199 Now, that's gruesome 296 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:03,366 What about Cigar Face? 297 00:28:03,379 --> 00:28:05,100 Have we gotten anything out of him yet? 298 00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:08,199 He must still be in shock. All he does is sit around 299 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,591 all day babbling about some seven foot monster. 300 00:28:11,615 --> 00:28:14,699 Yeah, and the only other clue we've got are those mops, 301 00:28:14,700 --> 00:28:16,699 stuffed in their mouths. 302 00:28:16,700 --> 00:28:21,215 Mops... It must be some sort of political statement. Do we have any suspects? 303 00:28:21,246 --> 00:28:26,168 Nah, the whole town is suspect. Knuckles and Nipples were hated by everyone. 304 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:29,699 Not by me. They were our two best producers. 305 00:28:29,700 --> 00:28:31,700 Speaking of which, I almost forgot. 306 00:28:32,020 --> 00:28:35,627 The boys made their rounds last night and here is the collection. 307 00:28:35,658 --> 00:28:37,700 Yeah, and it would've been double if it wasn't for this 308 00:28:37,715 --> 00:28:40,715 devastating tragic turn of events. 309 00:28:40,942 --> 00:28:41,816 Yeah. 310 00:29:35,387 --> 00:29:36,387 Aah! 311 00:29:39,918 --> 00:29:43,152 Slug, will you stop with that Elephant Man bullshit. 312 00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:48,832 I am not an animal. I'm Melvin, the mop boy. 313 00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:00,108 - Who is it? - It's me, Ma. Melvin. 314 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:07,105 Aah! 315 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,714 Ma? Ah, Ma! 316 00:31:21,028 --> 00:31:24,806 Tom. Tom, is he dead? 317 00:31:25,129 --> 00:31:26,313 Hey, Tom. 318 00:31:27,700 --> 00:31:31,380 Yeah, over here. Tom, the zoning board has designated 319 00:31:31,404 --> 00:31:35,365 the old Rawlins Chemical Plant as the new toxic waste dump site. 320 00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,968 Now that's contaminated, but valuable waterfront property. 321 00:31:44,926 --> 00:31:48,926 We think it's a crime to let that property go to waste as a dump. 322 00:31:49,152 --> 00:31:52,411 You are aware, of course, that that would place our new toxic chemical dump 323 00:31:52,425 --> 00:31:55,247 just 20 feet from the reservoir for the entire area. 324 00:32:01,700 --> 00:32:04,184 Gentlemen, I think we have a deal. 325 00:32:06,214 --> 00:32:09,272 Here to better living through chemistry. 326 00:32:31,816 --> 00:32:35,316 Mr. Fred! Mr. Fred, what's wrong with this thing!? 327 00:32:50,214 --> 00:32:51,291 Alright, everybody! 328 00:32:51,317 --> 00:32:53,893 Drop your tacos or I'll blow your brains out! 329 00:32:56,887 --> 00:32:58,773 Rico, get the cash register! 330 00:32:58,816 --> 00:33:00,758 Okay, you got it! 331 00:33:02,329 --> 00:33:03,993 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. 332 00:33:04,512 --> 00:33:07,352 We are the entertainment for this afternoon. 333 00:33:07,473 --> 00:33:11,489 Now on shotgun, we've got my man Leroy. 334 00:33:12,567 --> 00:33:16,591 On cash register we've got magic fingers, Rico! 335 00:33:16,739 --> 00:33:17,669 That's me. 336 00:33:18,301 --> 00:33:22,005 And last but not least, yours truly Frank. 337 00:33:23,911 --> 00:33:24,966 On the stick. 338 00:33:27,661 --> 00:33:28,584 Shut up! 339 00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:32,149 Now if you all do just what we tell you, 340 00:33:32,169 --> 00:33:36,383 you just might, just might get your asses home all intact. 341 00:33:38,082 --> 00:33:43,016 Look who we got here! A little mother, and a littler baby. 342 00:33:44,332 --> 00:33:46,484 Do you like Mexican food, little baby? 343 00:33:47,319 --> 00:33:49,039 Well, How'd you like to have this hot tamale 344 00:33:49,070 --> 00:33:50,672 shoved down your throat? 345 00:33:53,286 --> 00:33:54,523 What are you looking at? 346 00:33:57,500 --> 00:33:59,960 Hey, Frank, teeny boppers! 347 00:34:00,709 --> 00:34:02,392 You like video games, teeny boppers? 348 00:34:02,500 --> 00:34:04,798 Your mom give you quarters for video games? 349 00:34:05,086 --> 00:34:06,235 Well, cough them up! 350 00:34:07,608 --> 00:34:10,108 Hey, this one's cute, Frank. 351 00:34:10,218 --> 00:34:12,573 Look how cute she is, Frank. 352 00:34:12,593 --> 00:34:14,346 Say, Leroy, I think she likes you. 353 00:34:22,140 --> 00:34:23,925 Hey, why don't you leave her alone? 354 00:34:26,359 --> 00:34:28,269 We'll give you our money, if you want money. 355 00:34:29,155 --> 00:34:31,445 Hey, look, pal, why don't you just let everyone go 356 00:34:31,460 --> 00:34:33,460 and keep me as a hostage, huh? 357 00:34:33,500 --> 00:34:34,000 Huh? 358 00:34:34,742 --> 00:34:36,930 That's an idea, ainft it, Frank? 359 00:34:37,500 --> 00:34:38,891 - Yeah. - No, thanks. 360 00:34:50,733 --> 00:34:53,509 Shut up! It was self defense. 361 00:34:56,602 --> 00:35:00,286 Yo, Leroy, check out this pretty little thing, 362 00:35:00,867 --> 00:35:02,902 and the bitch got a dog. 363 00:35:04,453 --> 00:35:07,442 Hey, wait a minute. I think this bitch is blind. 364 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:09,668 Are you sure she is blind, Frank? 365 00:35:13,156 --> 00:35:15,301 Yeah, the bitch is blind. 366 00:35:15,554 --> 00:35:16,098 Ow! 367 00:35:16,296 --> 00:35:18,547 Hey, what are you doing? Don't do that! 368 00:35:18,561 --> 00:35:19,382 Let go of me! 369 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,835 Yo, Leroy, you want to walk this damn dog! 370 00:35:24,773 --> 00:35:25,944 Yeah, sure, Frank. 371 00:35:30,211 --> 00:35:31,063 Gary? 372 00:35:33,242 --> 00:35:35,867 Harry! What have you done to my dog? 373 00:35:35,889 --> 00:35:37,820 I didn't do anything to the dog, but listen... 374 00:35:38,336 --> 00:35:39,410 Gary! Gary! 375 00:35:39,434 --> 00:35:40,856 You wanna meet my friend, Ben? 376 00:35:40,863 --> 00:35:43,343 We's make everything alright. Just let me introduce you to Ben. 377 00:35:43,488 --> 00:35:44,550 Ben who!? 378 00:35:44,562 --> 00:35:46,562 Ben Dover! 379 00:35:49,875 --> 00:35:54,875 Hey, Leroy, you know I always did want to cornhole me a blind bitch. 380 00:35:55,047 --> 00:35:56,047 Ow! 381 00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:57,627 I'm going to enjoy this! 382 00:36:02,210 --> 00:36:04,190 Yeah, it's going to be nice. 383 00:36:06,109 --> 00:36:07,494 What the shit!? 384 00:36:22,070 --> 00:36:23,797 Okay, you motherfucker! 385 00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,680 Aah! Aahh! 386 00:39:26,390 --> 00:39:29,810 No, no, no! We were only kidding! 387 00:39:30,265 --> 00:39:32,740 What's the matter? You can't take a joke? 388 00:39:33,195 --> 00:39:34,805 We were only kidding. 389 00:39:34,828 --> 00:39:37,100 Please, no! You can't do this to me! 390 00:39:40,296 --> 00:39:43,213 No! Please! Please, stop it! 391 00:39:43,256 --> 00:39:46,093 Stop, no! No! 392 00:39:46,366 --> 00:39:48,491 No! We were, we were only kidding! 393 00:40:02,692 --> 00:40:05,364 Grrr! Grrrrr! 394 00:40:31,609 --> 00:40:35,067 Please, please don't touch me! 395 00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:36,999 Please! 396 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:40,000 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's alright. I'm not going to hurt you. 397 00:40:40,312 --> 00:40:41,207 Are you okay? 398 00:40:41,437 --> 00:40:44,937 Yes, I think so. My dog! 399 00:40:45,281 --> 00:40:49,023 Those men killed my dog! They shot my dog! 400 00:40:49,577 --> 00:40:51,936 Could you take me out of here, please? 401 00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:58,202 Please. I'll never make it by myself without my dog. 402 00:40:58,225 --> 00:40:58,984 Please. 403 00:40:59,343 --> 00:41:03,500 Okay, alright, but come on, let's go out the back way. 404 00:41:03,867 --> 00:41:07,193 Hey, don't worry, I won't hurt you. Come on, I'll help you up. 405 00:41:34,094 --> 00:41:36,581 - Don't trip over the step, Melvin. - What? 406 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:40,534 I'd better get my cane. 407 00:41:45,484 --> 00:41:46,584 Why don't you have a seat? 408 00:41:46,616 --> 00:41:47,974 There's a place for you on your left. 409 00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:49,000 Right over there. 410 00:41:49,007 --> 00:41:50,037 Ow! 411 00:41:50,351 --> 00:41:51,851 Would like you like something to eat? 412 00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:52,999 Uh-huh. 413 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,761 Is peanut butter and jelly, okay? 414 00:41:54,796 --> 00:41:55,558 Uh-huh. 415 00:41:55,859 --> 00:41:56,745 Good. 416 00:41:58,003 --> 00:41:59,000 Grr! 417 00:41:59,336 --> 00:42:01,362 Now, boys, what have we got here? 418 00:42:02,305 --> 00:42:05,054 Looks like we got a nice crispy taco supreme over here, chief. 419 00:42:08,250 --> 00:42:11,127 Looks like I got a a strawberry thickshake over here. 420 00:42:13,226 --> 00:42:14,226 What have you got? 421 00:42:14,281 --> 00:42:16,463 I've got a pizza with the works to go, Jimmy. 422 00:42:17,367 --> 00:42:21,367 Chief, it was unbelievable. It had an eye up over here, 423 00:42:21,750 --> 00:42:23,750 His nose was twisted to the side. 424 00:42:24,031 --> 00:42:24,695 Huh? 425 00:42:24,732 --> 00:42:27,141 It was the strangest thing I ever saw in my life. 426 00:42:27,155 --> 00:42:30,670 Sure. But it was a pink elephant, too. 427 00:42:30,710 --> 00:42:33,107 I'm telling ya, these guys were going to kill us. 428 00:42:33,412 --> 00:42:36,920 It saved our lives. It was a hero. 429 00:42:36,937 --> 00:42:38,221 A hero! 430 00:42:40,343 --> 00:42:41,479 This guy is drunk. 431 00:42:45,500 --> 00:42:47,571 Would you mind if I touched your face? 432 00:42:47,593 --> 00:42:48,168 No! 433 00:42:48,194 --> 00:42:52,110 No? Why not? I won't hurt you, Melvin. 434 00:42:52,140 --> 00:42:56,640 It's not that. It's just that I have a rash on my face. 435 00:42:56,648 --> 00:42:59,078 A rash? You mean acne? 436 00:42:59,101 --> 00:43:02,155 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's it. It's nothing to worry about 437 00:43:02,156 --> 00:43:03,999 but I wouldn't want you to touch it. 438 00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,499 You shouldn't be ashamed of acne. 439 00:43:06,500 --> 00:43:09,499 Everybody's had acne at one time or another. 440 00:43:09,500 --> 00:43:12,894 Hey, I know. Would you like me to tell your fortune? 441 00:43:12,937 --> 00:43:13,613 Huh? 442 00:43:13,656 --> 00:43:16,230 I read palms. Give me your hand. 443 00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:21,658 What big hands you have. 444 00:43:22,346 --> 00:43:24,205 I bet you're very strong. 445 00:43:24,825 --> 00:43:27,499 Hmm. Let me see. You're going to have 446 00:43:27,500 --> 00:43:30,999 a lot of good things coming too you in the future. 447 00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:34,000 You're going to become a very important man. 448 00:43:34,500 --> 00:43:36,596 Let me see your other hand. 449 00:43:37,500 --> 00:43:40,444 Grr? Grrrrr! 450 00:43:41,561 --> 00:43:44,069 Oops! Sorry. 451 00:43:51,970 --> 00:43:53,783 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. 452 00:43:54,017 --> 00:43:57,179 With us this afternoon is, Dr. Mertyn Snodberger 453 00:43:57,500 --> 00:44:00,999 from the Garden State State Cerebral Reflex Research Center. 454 00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:03,172 Ah, can you tell me, sir, 455 00:44:03,188 --> 00:44:06,500 is it true that the monster only attacks bad people? 456 00:44:06,820 --> 00:44:12,477 Ja. Ja. Since only bad, evil people have been destroyed 457 00:44:12,500 --> 00:44:18,000 by the monster, I would have to answer your question. Ja. 458 00:44:18,421 --> 00:44:21,604 From traces that have been found on the scenes 459 00:44:21,627 --> 00:44:25,999 of the crime, and analyzed, we have determined 460 00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:29,499 that whatever it is, this monster has been exposed 461 00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:32,561 to toxic chemical waste. 462 00:44:33,203 --> 00:44:34,670 Achoo! 463 00:44:39,500 --> 00:44:44,499 It is also highly probable that this monster may 464 00:44:44,500 --> 00:44:48,499 have developed a very basic instinct which draws him, 465 00:44:48,500 --> 00:44:54,728 or should I say, commands him to destroy evil. 466 00:45:12,945 --> 00:45:15,736 That new camera really captures the moment! 467 00:45:15,804 --> 00:45:20,142 I know. The reds are so red! Really get me hot! 468 00:45:32,008 --> 00:45:32,798 Mr. Mayor? 469 00:45:32,819 --> 00:45:33,360 Yeah? 470 00:45:33,374 --> 00:45:37,374 I got todayfs receipts from the drug division. Ha ha! 471 00:45:37,834 --> 00:45:40,334 Good boy, Dennis. Put it over there on the table. 472 00:45:40,484 --> 00:45:42,002 Bookie will get to it later. 473 00:46:04,539 --> 00:46:05,843 Grr! 474 00:46:05,844 --> 00:46:06,703 Aahhh! 475 00:46:27,741 --> 00:46:30,417 Grrr! 476 00:48:11,186 --> 00:48:13,262 Listen, you asshole, how many times are you going to 477 00:48:13,278 --> 00:48:14,816 pull that Elephant Man joke? 478 00:48:17,412 --> 00:48:19,212 - Grrr! - Aahhh! 479 00:48:31,695 --> 00:48:33,625 Let this be a lesson to you, hot ass! 480 00:48:41,734 --> 00:48:45,734 This monster may have developed a very basic instinct, 481 00:48:45,773 --> 00:48:48,737 to destroy evil. 482 00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:51,495 Hey, you! In the alley! 483 00:48:51,507 --> 00:48:57,260 Hey, knucklehead! How about some nice young poontang, huh? 484 00:48:57,289 --> 00:49:01,151 No! No, take me home! No, take me home! 485 00:49:01,162 --> 00:49:03,080 No, you lied to me! 486 00:49:03,124 --> 00:49:06,177 You said you were going to take me to see the David Bowie concert! 487 00:49:06,217 --> 00:49:08,005 He's not David Bowie! 488 00:49:09,201 --> 00:49:13,865 Only twelve years old, and only twelve dollars! 489 00:49:18,586 --> 00:49:20,966 Boys! Boys! Help! 490 00:49:25,044 --> 00:49:27,544 Help, boys! Help! 491 00:49:32,812 --> 00:49:33,663 Aaahh! 492 00:50:00,140 --> 00:50:02,227 And you can tell all your scum friends that things 493 00:50:02,241 --> 00:50:04,532 are going to change in this town! 494 00:50:04,710 --> 00:50:06,415 I'm not just another pretty face! 495 00:50:07,242 --> 00:50:08,868 Grrr! 496 00:50:33,346 --> 00:50:36,405 Two prime candidates. 497 00:50:36,467 --> 00:50:37,643 Yeah. 498 00:50:37,851 --> 00:50:39,573 Rack 'em up! 499 00:50:41,460 --> 00:50:42,872 Grrr! 500 00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:52,320 - Wow! - Wow! 501 00:50:53,617 --> 00:50:57,229 Grrr! 502 00:51:00,509 --> 00:51:01,423 503 00:51:12,379 --> 00:51:14,386 504 00:51:18,358 --> 00:51:19,238 Aahh! 505 00:51:54,632 --> 00:51:56,632 I hear the monster is so big. 506 00:51:56,648 --> 00:51:59,131 Well, I bet he's got his eye on me. 507 00:51:59,249 --> 00:52:01,802 For your information, everyone knows Monster Prefer Blondes! 508 00:52:01,828 --> 00:52:04,415 There's a feeling going around town that this monster 509 00:52:04,422 --> 00:52:06,369 is here to protect the people. 510 00:52:06,609 --> 00:52:09,462 And the jail's are becoming overcrowded. 511 00:52:09,468 --> 00:52:13,158 This monster has cleaned the streets of every criminal. 512 00:52:13,242 --> 00:52:18,241 Almost all the criminals. He hasn't gotten us yet. 513 00:52:18,242 --> 00:52:20,670 What the hell are we going to do about this monster, eh? 514 00:52:20,687 --> 00:52:23,474 I'll tell you what we're going to do. We're going to kill him. 515 00:52:23,570 --> 00:52:28,327 Because if we don't kill him, he's going to kill us. 516 00:52:32,617 --> 00:52:33,342 Grrr! 517 00:52:33,391 --> 00:52:36,660 I owe you for the other night, monster fagot! 518 00:52:36,725 --> 00:52:37,972 Grrr! 519 00:52:41,500 --> 00:52:44,691 So now we're going to give you six new assholes, 520 00:52:44,781 --> 00:52:47,567 compliments of me, Cigar Face! 521 00:52:48,373 --> 00:52:49,588 Grrr! 522 00:52:57,522 --> 00:52:59,022 Grr! 523 00:53:03,500 --> 00:53:06,777 Boom! You should've seen it! His teeth was everywhere! 524 00:53:06,820 --> 00:53:08,820 They looked like Chiclets! 525 00:53:09,452 --> 00:53:11,747 Hey, what are you doing, blondie? 526 00:53:12,036 --> 00:53:13,536 I'm waiting for my boyfriend. 527 00:53:13,718 --> 00:53:14,998 She's waiting for her boyfriend. 528 00:53:15,014 --> 00:53:17,823 Well, maybe I'm going to be your boyfriend, baby! 529 00:53:18,476 --> 00:53:21,737 Hey, stop that! My boyfriend won't like that! 530 00:53:21,788 --> 00:53:25,027 Maybe we'll have to take care of that wimp of a boyfriend, huh? 531 00:53:25,763 --> 00:53:26,668 Melvin! Melvin! 532 00:53:26,999 --> 00:53:27,801 Melvin! 533 00:53:27,828 --> 00:53:28,933 Melvin!? 534 00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:29,941 Melvin! 535 00:53:30,427 --> 00:53:33,374 Yeah, Melvin. What's up, guys? 536 00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:36,955 Aah! 537 00:53:53,710 --> 00:53:58,340 Why, Melvin, you're beautiful. You're a beautiful person. 538 00:54:00,289 --> 00:54:05,605 You're so muscular. It's been two years since I touched a man. 539 00:54:09,258 --> 00:54:14,328 What are you doing to me? I've never felt like this before. 540 00:56:11,186 --> 00:56:12,250 Murderer! 541 00:56:12,413 --> 00:56:14,742 - Aaahhh! - Grrrrrr! 542 00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:19,403 I'm gonna teach you a lesson you'll never forget! 543 00:56:19,433 --> 00:56:21,059 Aaahh! 544 00:56:35,814 --> 00:56:36,478 No! 545 00:56:36,520 --> 00:56:37,820 Sorry, madam. 546 00:56:46,203 --> 00:56:49,540 Open up please, open up! 547 00:56:50,710 --> 00:56:54,710 Help me! Oh, please open up! Help me! 548 00:56:57,991 --> 00:56:58,991 Grrr! 549 00:56:58,999 --> 00:57:01,282 Aaahh! 550 00:57:01,749 --> 00:57:02,782 Going up? 551 00:57:05,856 --> 00:57:08,825 Let me out Let me out! Please, someone help me! 552 00:57:09,366 --> 00:57:10,864 Aaahh! 553 00:57:13,399 --> 00:57:15,399 Aaahhh! 554 00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:27,501 Aah! She's stressing me, Slug! Julie is stressing me, Slug! 555 00:58:27,515 --> 00:58:29,548 I can't take it! I cannot take this, Slug! 556 00:58:29,750 --> 00:58:31,567 She's not here with car and I've got to drive. 557 00:58:31,608 --> 00:58:33,122 I gotta drive, Slug! I gotta drive! 558 00:58:33,123 --> 00:58:35,044 Alright, already. Alright. Will you chill out? 559 00:58:40,748 --> 00:58:44,996 Hey, how would you like to be behind the wheel 560 00:58:45,022 --> 00:58:47,339 of a beautiful Japanese import? 561 00:58:50,422 --> 00:58:52,194 Oh, that would be good! 562 00:58:56,133 --> 00:58:58,133 Hi, can we help? 563 00:58:58,288 --> 00:58:59,780 Oh, you sure can. 564 00:59:01,133 --> 00:59:04,132 Thank you so much. Oh, it's so nice to have you 565 00:59:04,133 --> 00:59:06,510 boys like you here in the neighborhood. 566 00:59:07,773 --> 00:59:10,041 Aahh! 567 00:59:10,633 --> 00:59:11,588 Aahhh! 568 00:59:12,703 --> 00:59:16,431 Oh, what a feeling, today! 569 00:59:26,633 --> 00:59:29,632 Did you see her face when I punched her? 570 00:59:29,633 --> 00:59:31,860 I beat that old lady like a dog! 571 00:59:34,133 --> 00:59:35,855 Slug, there's that thing again! 572 00:59:37,836 --> 00:59:39,003 Let's get it! 573 00:59:46,382 --> 00:59:48,395 Shit! he's on the roof! He's on the roof! 574 00:59:48,882 --> 00:59:50,747 Get him off! He's going to kill both of us! 575 00:59:51,516 --> 00:59:53,715 Swerve the car, Bozo! Swerve the car! 576 00:59:55,156 --> 00:59:56,883 I can't control the car! 577 01:00:03,437 --> 01:00:05,545 He's still there, swerve it again! Swerve it again! 578 01:00:13,133 --> 01:00:15,633 I can't get him off the car, Slug! I can't get him off! 579 01:00:20,249 --> 01:00:21,749 Slug, I'm going to die! 580 01:00:22,163 --> 01:00:24,731 Take the wheel, Slug! Take the wheel! 581 01:00:25,318 --> 01:00:26,718 I'm stressed! 582 01:00:27,133 --> 01:00:28,083 Ah, what? 583 01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:30,320 What? 584 01:00:30,969 --> 01:00:33,822 Aaaahhh! 585 01:00:37,711 --> 01:00:39,211 Get out of here! 586 01:00:44,568 --> 01:00:45,318 No! 587 01:00:49,905 --> 01:00:51,602 See how you like this face, huh, Bozo? 588 01:00:51,749 --> 01:00:54,360 You know who this is? It's Melvin, that's who it is! 589 01:01:17,633 --> 01:01:20,169 Hey, hey, hey, what about the kid on the bike, Bozo? 590 01:01:20,227 --> 01:01:22,727 How does it feel to hit a kid on a bike? Feels good! 591 01:01:24,140 --> 01:01:26,991 I've got problems! I've got problems! I'm a stressed person! 592 01:01:32,051 --> 01:01:33,004 No, no! 593 01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:12,259 Give me the wheel! 594 01:02:15,133 --> 01:02:17,680 Just give me the wheel! You'll going to kill both of us! 595 01:02:19,882 --> 01:02:23,882 You want the wheel? Here, take the wheel! 596 01:02:25,617 --> 01:02:26,117 Aaahhh! 597 01:02:30,851 --> 01:02:35,048 Grrr! Ha ha! 598 01:03:35,633 --> 01:03:38,054 Yoohoo! Mr. Wilson! 599 01:03:38,133 --> 01:03:40,163 Mrs Haskel, how are you? 600 01:03:40,273 --> 01:03:41,492 Fine, thank you. 601 01:03:41,524 --> 01:03:43,024 How are the boys? 602 01:03:43,312 --> 01:03:46,960 Those boys are such terrors. Especially Scott. 603 01:03:47,078 --> 01:03:50,319 He took his best girl out last night and he came home 604 01:03:50,352 --> 01:03:53,139 with these stains, all over his pants. 605 01:03:53,749 --> 01:03:55,381 I don't know what they are. 606 01:03:55,747 --> 01:03:56,958 I don't either. 607 01:03:56,983 --> 01:03:58,483 Do you think you can get them out? 608 01:04:00,171 --> 01:04:03,671 My car! They're putting a ticket on my car! 609 01:04:03,929 --> 01:04:06,597 Mrs. Haskel, don't move. Donft' move. Stay right where you are. 610 01:04:06,615 --> 01:04:07,480 I'll be right back. 611 01:04:07,497 --> 01:04:10,817 You can't give me a ticket! You can't give me a ticket! I have to go to a funeral... 612 01:04:13,882 --> 01:04:15,834 Hey, who do you think you're pushing? 613 01:04:17,249 --> 01:04:18,342 What do you want? 614 01:04:19,006 --> 01:04:21,826 Stay away from me! Stay away from me! 615 01:04:21,835 --> 01:04:25,763 Help! Help! Help! Help! 616 01:04:25,800 --> 01:04:29,810 Stay away from me! Stay away from me! Help! 617 01:04:30,187 --> 01:04:32,187 Help! Help! 618 01:04:32,679 --> 01:04:33,458 What the...? 619 01:04:35,866 --> 01:04:38,153 Put me down! I didn't do anything! 620 01:04:44,922 --> 01:04:46,979 No Dickie here. No washie. 621 01:04:57,453 --> 01:05:01,453 Please, don't give me a ticket! Please, don't give me a ticket! 622 01:05:06,602 --> 01:05:09,602 Okay, Mrs. Haskel, let's see what we can do with these stains. 623 01:05:09,633 --> 01:05:13,508 Mrs. Haskel. Mrs. Haskel, what are you doing back there? 624 01:05:13,609 --> 01:05:16,198 You know customers are not allowed on that machine. 625 01:05:17,117 --> 01:05:18,617 Mrs. Haskel. 626 01:05:20,132 --> 01:05:21,510 Aah! 627 01:06:06,773 --> 01:06:08,842 Melvin, is that you? 628 01:06:12,875 --> 01:06:14,178 Melvin? 629 01:06:18,933 --> 01:06:20,074 Who's there? 630 01:06:21,713 --> 01:06:22,937 Who is that? 631 01:06:35,386 --> 01:06:38,386 It's me, Sarah. Only me. 632 01:06:39,127 --> 01:06:42,315 You scared me. Is something wrong? 633 01:06:42,345 --> 01:06:44,345 Everything is wrong. 634 01:06:45,096 --> 01:06:47,096 What the matter? What have I done? 635 01:06:47,190 --> 01:06:51,190 No, it's not what you've done. It's what I've done. 636 01:06:51,378 --> 01:06:53,378 I think I'm out of control. 637 01:06:53,433 --> 01:06:57,330 You see, you're blind, Sara. You don't know who I am. 638 01:06:58,433 --> 01:07:01,932 I'm really the monster hero you heard about. 639 01:07:01,933 --> 01:07:04,933 And everyday I go out and I mash people. 640 01:07:05,025 --> 01:07:07,525 I tear them apart and I can't stop. 641 01:07:08,003 --> 01:07:09,302 You better move back to your apartment. 642 01:07:09,339 --> 01:07:10,849 I don't think its safe for you to be around me. 643 01:07:10,870 --> 01:07:15,892 Oh, Melvin. I couldn't leave you now. I love you, Melvin. 644 01:07:17,955 --> 01:07:20,455 I wish we could go somewhere. 645 01:07:20,933 --> 01:07:25,533 Yeah, some far away place. Where there are no people. 646 01:07:25,563 --> 01:07:27,979 Where I can't kill anybody. 647 01:07:28,034 --> 01:07:31,034 What about that spot near Millers farm that you told me about? 648 01:07:31,433 --> 01:07:33,432 Where you used to go to be alone. 649 01:07:33,433 --> 01:07:35,775 You said that was a very special place. 650 01:07:35,798 --> 01:07:39,280 Well, we could try it. 651 01:07:40,433 --> 01:07:42,932 Do you think I look inconspicuous enough? 652 01:07:42,933 --> 01:07:45,433 I'll feel better when we get to the campsite. 653 01:07:48,190 --> 01:07:49,329 Mayor, Mayor! 654 01:07:49,362 --> 01:07:52,362 Chief, look. Our monster made a little bit of a mistake. 655 01:07:52,799 --> 01:07:54,799 You can't go around dry cleaning little old ladies 656 01:07:54,839 --> 01:07:56,839 the public won't stand for it. 657 01:07:56,933 --> 01:07:59,089 We can kill him now with no flack from anybody. 658 01:07:59,096 --> 01:08:01,534 Nein, nein. Bad news, Mayor, 659 01:08:01,933 --> 01:08:05,159 That old lady was hardly a pillar of the community. 660 01:08:05,214 --> 01:08:09,431 In fact, she can a head of an international white slavery ring. 661 01:08:09,432 --> 01:08:09,932 Shit... 662 01:08:09,979 --> 01:08:12,550 And she had a police record a mile long. 663 01:08:13,073 --> 01:08:14,231 We've got to cover this up. 664 01:08:14,433 --> 01:08:16,653 If it ever gets out to the press we're sunk. 665 01:08:16,682 --> 01:08:19,751 And I want you to do me a favor. Kill that bastard for me! You got it? 666 01:08:19,766 --> 01:08:20,319 Kill him! 667 01:08:20,355 --> 01:08:21,855 Yes, mein fuhrer. Mein mayor! 668 01:08:22,433 --> 01:08:24,933 Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. 669 01:08:25,191 --> 01:08:27,691 Mayor Peter Bellgoode will now take questions 670 01:08:27,933 --> 01:08:29,884 from the ladies and gentlemen of the press. 671 01:08:33,729 --> 01:08:34,937 Uh, Miss Fink. 672 01:08:35,268 --> 01:08:38,767 What your administration stance in regards to this alleged monster? 673 01:08:38,768 --> 01:08:40,268 Is he a menace or a miracle? 674 01:08:40,652 --> 01:08:43,652 He's definitely a menace, Miss Fink. Right now therefs a massive 675 01:08:43,667 --> 01:08:47,654 search underway to find the thing and destroy it. 676 01:08:48,933 --> 01:08:50,432 Yes, Mr. Leonard? 677 01:08:50,433 --> 01:08:52,432 Instead of trying to kill him, shouldn't we be trying 678 01:08:52,433 --> 01:08:55,263 to capture him, bring him in, study him? 679 01:08:55,286 --> 01:09:00,245 It is not a human being. It is an it. You kill an it. 680 01:09:00,393 --> 01:09:01,549 Mr. Mayor. Mr. Mayor. 681 01:09:01,573 --> 01:09:02,400 Yes, Mr. Williams? 682 01:09:02,588 --> 01:09:05,845 The victim killed in the dry cleaners, Mrs, ah, Haskel. 683 01:09:06,183 --> 01:09:07,906 What's her background? What do we know about her? 684 01:09:07,932 --> 01:09:11,432 Mrs. Haskel was a member of our community for over 30 years. 685 01:09:11,933 --> 01:09:15,932 Also a member of the PTA. She had two fine sons. 686 01:09:15,933 --> 01:09:17,677 Everyone that know her, loved her. 687 01:09:18,057 --> 01:09:20,739 Question! Question! Are you certain, Mr. Mayor, 688 01:09:20,755 --> 01:09:22,544 that the chief Himmel and the police department 689 01:09:22,573 --> 01:09:24,512 can handle the situation in Tromaville? 690 01:09:24,552 --> 01:09:27,933 I have the utmost regard for the chief, and his department. 691 01:09:28,339 --> 01:09:30,339 As I've said, he's conducting a massive search 692 01:09:30,354 --> 01:09:31,854 for the monster right now. 693 01:09:32,167 --> 01:09:35,667 I want this thing found and I want this thing killed! 694 01:09:35,933 --> 01:09:38,932 The mayor has notified the governor and he's prepared 695 01:09:38,933 --> 01:09:41,432 to give us all the assistance we need. 696 01:09:41,433 --> 01:09:43,432 Should we break out the heavy weapons? 697 01:09:43,433 --> 01:09:44,432 Come on, boys. 698 01:09:44,433 --> 01:09:46,932 I'd be dead right now if it wasn't for the monster! 699 01:09:46,933 --> 01:09:50,432 Don't you think you're being a bit hasty? 700 01:09:50,433 --> 01:09:54,432 Clancy, you will do as you're told or you'll find yourself 701 01:09:54,433 --> 01:09:57,433 walking a beat in the city dump! 702 01:09:57,456 --> 01:10:02,456 Now I want this thing shot and I want you to shoot to kill! 703 01:10:02,753 --> 01:10:06,426 That monster saved my life. He's done a lot of good for this town. 704 01:10:06,440 --> 01:10:08,440 Why are they going to kill him? 705 01:10:08,823 --> 01:10:11,323 We should speak out! Do something! 706 01:10:11,339 --> 01:10:13,339 Roy, why don't you do something! Speak out! 707 01:10:13,628 --> 01:10:15,800 You want me to speak up? If I speak up, 708 01:10:15,816 --> 01:10:18,910 I lose my business license. If I lose my business license, 709 01:10:18,933 --> 01:10:21,432 I'm dead. Do you want another shake? 710 01:10:21,433 --> 01:10:24,433 No! I want them not to kill the monster. 711 01:10:24,628 --> 01:10:26,128 I want us to do something! 712 01:10:26,433 --> 01:10:28,932 Listen, Johnny, you're just a kid. 713 01:10:28,933 --> 01:10:31,932 People can't go around doing things just because they're right. 714 01:10:31,933 --> 01:10:33,932 We have to leave these decisions up to the mayor 715 01:10:33,933 --> 01:10:35,932 - and the police chief. - That's right. 716 01:10:35,933 --> 01:10:37,932 But why would the mayor want to destroy something 717 01:10:37,933 --> 01:10:40,933 that does more good than the entire police force? 718 01:10:42,433 --> 01:10:43,932 No offense. 719 01:10:43,933 --> 01:10:46,932 I know how you feel, Johnny, he saved my life too. 720 01:10:46,933 --> 01:10:50,932 But us, little guys, are just not qualified to make these decisions. 721 01:10:50,933 --> 01:10:53,432 That's why he's the mayor. 722 01:10:53,433 --> 01:10:55,433 Right? 723 01:10:58,433 --> 01:11:01,933 We're gonna find that bastard, now. Come on. Come on, girl! 724 01:11:01,960 --> 01:11:02,905 Heel. Come on. 725 01:11:03,064 --> 01:11:05,694 My first day on the force and I'm chasing monsters! 726 01:11:11,433 --> 01:11:12,992 The dogs got a scent! 727 01:11:18,183 --> 01:11:20,932 I'm missing the ball game for this bullshit! 728 01:11:20,933 --> 01:11:22,432 We ain't going to find no monster out here, 729 01:11:22,433 --> 01:11:25,932 all we're going to find is a bunch of mosquitoes biting my fuckin' asshole! 730 01:11:25,933 --> 01:11:27,933 Shut your fuckin' mouth! 731 01:11:28,198 --> 01:11:29,984 Hold on a second, I think I see something. 732 01:11:30,002 --> 01:11:31,125 You don't see nothing but a couple 733 01:11:31,140 --> 01:11:33,932 of campers humping each other. Come on, let's go home! 734 01:11:33,933 --> 01:11:35,932 Holy shit! It's the monster! 735 01:11:35,933 --> 01:11:36,932 Oh, sure! 736 01:11:36,933 --> 01:11:38,433 And he's got a bimbo with him! 737 01:11:38,933 --> 01:11:40,432 Oh, he's got your Mama with him! 738 01:11:40,433 --> 01:11:42,933 And she's wearing a bikini! Wow! 739 01:11:42,955 --> 01:11:44,455 Wait, let me see! 740 01:11:44,933 --> 01:11:47,866 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 741 01:11:49,933 --> 01:11:53,164 Come on, let's go tell the chief! I'm going to get me a medal for this! 742 01:11:53,171 --> 01:11:54,836 Mayor! Mayor! Mayor! 743 01:11:55,753 --> 01:11:58,914 The monster has been sighted in a field near Miller farm. 744 01:11:58,933 --> 01:11:59,932 That's wonderful! 745 01:11:59,933 --> 01:12:02,932 I'll have the National Guard meet us out there in full force. 746 01:12:02,933 --> 01:12:03,683 You leave now! 747 01:12:03,814 --> 01:12:04,699 Ja! 748 01:12:05,433 --> 01:12:08,433 Hello, Mr. Governor, how are you, sir? 749 01:12:08,894 --> 01:12:11,432 Fine, just fine. 750 01:12:11,433 --> 01:12:15,365 Governor, I need your help, sir. 751 01:12:15,394 --> 01:12:18,154 It's about this monster that's been terrorizing my town. 752 01:12:18,394 --> 01:12:21,959 The local authorities can no longer handle the situation. 753 01:12:23,331 --> 01:12:24,866 That's why I need your help. 754 01:12:25,727 --> 01:12:27,444 The National Guard? 755 01:12:27,933 --> 01:12:30,733 I was hoping you'd say that, so we can kill it. 756 01:12:33,541 --> 01:12:38,414 Capture it? Well, I was thinking the very same thing. 757 01:12:38,894 --> 01:12:43,394 Yes, capture would be fine. Uh-huh. Well, thank you, Governor. 758 01:12:43,863 --> 01:12:46,863 Talk to you soon. Goodbye, sir. 759 01:12:50,261 --> 01:12:52,257 Capture, my ass! 760 01:13:07,697 --> 01:13:10,373 I don't like the way this is going sargent. 761 01:13:10,393 --> 01:13:11,893 I know. 762 01:13:11,933 --> 01:13:14,272 The little people think he's done a lot for this town. 763 01:13:19,706 --> 01:13:24,095 Oh, my God! They're calling in the National Guard! 764 01:13:24,134 --> 01:13:26,432 Oh, look at all those men! 765 01:13:26,433 --> 01:13:27,932 Oh, I hope they don't hurt the monster. 766 01:13:27,933 --> 01:13:30,400 Monster, they aught to give him a medal, not kill him. 767 01:13:34,933 --> 01:13:38,833 They're going to nuke him! They're going to nuke the monster! 768 01:13:45,433 --> 01:13:48,433 - They found the monster! - He's at the Miller Farm! 769 01:13:48,464 --> 01:13:49,709 They're going to kill him! 770 01:13:49,768 --> 01:13:52,740 Holy cow! We can't let him die! 771 01:13:54,229 --> 01:13:56,229 Let's go! 772 01:14:42,314 --> 01:14:43,314 Out of the way! 773 01:14:43,861 --> 01:14:44,886 Stand aside. 774 01:14:44,931 --> 01:14:47,878 Tent's in the clearing, Mayor. My troops have it surrounded. 775 01:14:47,908 --> 01:14:49,198 We think he's still asleep. 776 01:14:49,476 --> 01:14:52,282 Fine, we'll move in and wipe him out. 777 01:14:52,494 --> 01:14:55,499 You can't do that, Mayor. I've rechecked with headquarters 778 01:14:55,516 --> 01:14:57,692 They want us to take him alive, not kill him. 779 01:14:57,693 --> 01:14:59,689 Your in charge, Pete. Come on, give the orders! 780 01:14:59,704 --> 01:15:02,937 Mr. mayor, please, please, think of what you are doing! 781 01:15:03,485 --> 01:15:05,297 There's an innocent girl in there with him! 782 01:15:06,540 --> 01:15:08,321 Just one life for the whole town! 783 01:15:08,501 --> 01:15:10,313 But, Mr Mayor, you don't understand! 784 01:15:10,398 --> 01:15:12,469 He saved my life! He doesn't deserve to die! 785 01:15:12,508 --> 01:15:13,305 Shut up! 786 01:15:13,353 --> 01:15:16,353 Now you don't understand the seriousness of this situation here, boy! 787 01:15:16,462 --> 01:15:20,462 How dare you discuss my son's life or death like this. 788 01:15:20,900 --> 01:15:23,482 I'm Melvin's mother. He's a good boy. 789 01:15:23,931 --> 01:15:25,779 He's never hurt anybody! 790 01:15:27,876 --> 01:15:32,686 Silence! Silence! The orders have been given! 791 01:15:33,243 --> 01:15:36,571 It is our destiny to follow the orders! 792 01:15:46,243 --> 01:15:50,119 You in the tent, come out with your hands up! 793 01:15:50,212 --> 01:15:51,572 You are surrounded! 794 01:15:52,650 --> 01:15:53,705 Grrr? 795 01:15:55,751 --> 01:15:57,473 The minute he comes out, kill him. 796 01:15:59,798 --> 01:16:01,298 - I'm coming with you. - No, you're not. 797 01:16:01,330 --> 01:16:02,567 You've got to stay here. 798 01:16:02,599 --> 01:16:07,156 No, I can't let you do it! He's a hero. I can't let you do it! I can't let you do it! 799 01:16:07,181 --> 01:16:09,681 Don't shoot him! Don't shoot! 800 01:16:09,705 --> 01:16:12,478 If you want to shoot my son, you'll have to shoot me first! 801 01:16:20,639 --> 01:16:23,061 Okay, lads. Get these kids out of there! 802 01:16:24,931 --> 01:16:26,931 It's okay, Mom. Kids. 803 01:16:26,954 --> 01:16:27,954 Shoot it! 804 01:16:28,016 --> 01:16:29,516 Run! Run! Grrr! 805 01:16:30,001 --> 01:16:31,001 Fire! 806 01:16:31,033 --> 01:16:33,394 No, I won't do it. 807 01:16:33,494 --> 01:16:35,139 These kids are right. 808 01:16:40,610 --> 01:16:42,147 Captain, have your men fire! 809 01:16:42,165 --> 01:16:43,444 No, I can't. 810 01:16:43,728 --> 01:16:45,228 Shoot them! You shoot! 811 01:16:51,697 --> 01:16:52,518 Fire! 812 01:16:52,525 --> 01:16:53,557 Melvin! 813 01:16:53,579 --> 01:16:55,079 Alright, I'll do it myself! 814 01:16:55,351 --> 01:16:56,417 No! 815 01:16:57,056 --> 01:16:59,535 You touch me again and I'll kill you! 816 01:17:18,165 --> 01:17:19,609 Get away from me! 817 01:17:21,338 --> 01:17:22,664 Get away from me! 818 01:17:24,353 --> 01:17:27,258 No! Ah, get away from me! 819 01:17:27,540 --> 01:17:29,687 Leave me alone! Look, I'll make you a deal! 820 01:17:30,040 --> 01:17:32,141 I'll give you 10%, anything, just leave alone! 821 01:17:32,258 --> 01:17:33,021 Grr! 822 01:17:33,024 --> 01:17:35,529 Don't hurt me! I'm too young to die! 823 01:17:35,563 --> 01:17:37,063 Please don't hurt me! 824 01:17:37,079 --> 01:17:40,013 Please! 825 01:17:41,095 --> 01:17:43,934 You fat slob, let's see if you have any guts! 826 01:17:46,055 --> 01:17:49,055 Aaahhh! 827 01:17:59,915 --> 01:18:04,421 Officer O'Clancy, take care of this toxic waste. 828 01:18:07,939 --> 01:18:09,142 Melvin! 829 01:18:09,533 --> 01:18:10,260 Sarah! 830 01:18:10,641 --> 01:18:11,641 Melvin! 831 01:18:11,657 --> 01:18:12,603 Sara! 832 01:18:12,775 --> 01:18:14,283 Melvin! Ah! 833 01:18:14,532 --> 01:18:15,674 Sarah! 834 01:18:15,696 --> 01:18:16,823 Melvin! 835 01:18:17,056 --> 01:18:18,370 Sarah! 836 01:18:18,433 --> 01:18:19,553 Melvin? 837 01:18:20,159 --> 01:18:20,995 Sarah! 838 01:18:44,431 --> 01:18:48,431 So, Melvin, the monster hero, rid Tromaville of all of it's evils, 839 01:18:48,438 --> 01:18:52,006 so the good citizens could live their lives in peace and happiness. 840 01:18:53,228 --> 01:18:56,092 And the next time you're in danger or in need to help, 841 01:18:56,445 --> 01:19:00,326 look to the horizon and maybe, just maybe... 842 01:19:01,642 --> 01:19:04,225 The Toxic Avenger will be there.