1 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,630 That was a good binge. 2 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:38,710 That was one of the most memorable evenings of my life. 3 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:40,710 Marriage is a grim institution! 4 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:42,510 You didn't enjoy your first one? 5 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:46,350 It was in Ireland. I was as tight as a lord. 6 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:48,310 So was the priest. 7 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,120 God knows what became of Mrs Grimes. 8 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:56,070 None of this is what I would have chosen for myself, 9 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:57,910 not by a long chalk. 10 00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:01,520 - Cheer up, Grimesie. - No! No! Get off me! 11 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:07,830 Why did no-one warn me? 12 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,870 - Why did no-one warn me?! - Ssh-ssh-ssh-ssh-ssh! 13 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,390 They warned me about the fires of hell, 14 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,310 - no-one warned me about marriage! - Ssh! 15 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:20,630 No-one said that, at the end of the flower-strewn lane, 16 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,750 there were the hideous lights of home, 17 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:25,830 the terrible voices of children! 18 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:29,110 Argh! Ah! Ah! Ah! 19 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:32,310 - Try not to wake the boys. - Or Dr Fagan! 20 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:39,230 - Ssh! - Ssh! 21 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:40,920 (Inside voices.) 22 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:49,630 I gather you're excellent at the organ. 23 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,110 Will you play at my wedding? 24 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:54,550 I can't, I've injured my hand. 25 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,350 Oh, no! How did you do that? 26 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:58,720 Playing games. 27 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:02,950 To be honest, I can't play the organ, Grimes. 28 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,640 You just teach it? 29 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,830 Will you... will you be best man, then? 30 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,670 Yes. I'd be honoured. 31 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:12,990 Sorry, Prendy! 32 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:14,510 Ssssh! 33 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:18,910 - What is this.. - (Go and check the door.) - .. terrible impulse to build homes? 34 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,150 Flossie has the itch, all right. 35 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:23,710 She's already told me she wants children. 36 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:29,280 Ah! I fear I'm a blind alley off the main road of procreation. 37 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:33,750 I don't think people would ever fall in love if they 38 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,110 hadn't been told about it. It's like going abroad, you know, 39 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:39,550 you'd never think of doing it unless someone had told you it existed. 40 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,830 I don't know if that's true. 41 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:45,910 I can vouch for the exciting tingle of unexpected emotions 42 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,470 one can feel when you encounter someone special. 43 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:51,590 Like a sort of unstoppable primal... flushing. 44 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:56,200 - Oh! (Grimes!) - Ooo! 45 00:02:58,800 --> 00:02:59,780 Mm! 46 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,480 Ah! 47 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:12,950 Good evening. 48 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,800 Mr Pennyfeather? 49 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:26,390 I'm afraid to admit that Captain Grimes 50 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,950 is not the son-in-law I would readily have chosen. 51 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,590 He can usually handle his drink, sir. 52 00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:33,870 Well, I could forgive him his wooden leg, 53 00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:38,110 his abominable features and his moral turpitude, 54 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:39,990 if only he were a gentleman. 55 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,670 I dare say you've discerned his worst weakness. 56 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:44,910 I need not particularise. 57 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:49,350 One comes across it with regularity in the teaching profession. 58 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,110 But I do wish a man with such instincts 59 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,440 was not marrying my daughter. 60 00:03:57,880 --> 00:03:59,430 Would you marry her? 61 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,230 Well, she's a lovely woman. 62 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:03,800 I don't mean in theory! 63 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:07,630 I'm asking you to help me, Paul. 64 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:12,030 I've come to trust and respect you and I'm asking you 65 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:15,560 if you would like to marry my daughter, Florence. 66 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:21,390 But she's engaged to Captain Grimes at the moment, sir. 67 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:23,510 I've spoken to her and I've discovered 68 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:26,630 that she has no strong inclination towards Grimes in particular, 69 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:31,110 but she's very keen -- desperate, in fact -- 70 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:33,950 to be married before her 30th birthday. 71 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,840 - I see. - Look... 72 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:41,590 .. I'll offer you a partnership in this school, too. 73 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:44,750 And that's worth about £1,000 a year. 74 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:48,670 - Well, it's a very generous offer, sir. - Mm. 75 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:50,400 And she's a handsome... 76 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:54,400 .. very handsome woman. 77 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,960 But I can't. 78 00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:02,960 All right. Of course. 79 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,160 I quite understand. 80 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,030 It's just this Saturday's wedding 81 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:16,230 is a humiliation I would like to have avoided. 82 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:20,040 And Tangent's going to have his foot amputated on Saturday, too. 83 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:25,520 Perhaps that is the event you should attend, as headmaster. 84 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:30,880 Ah! 85 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:42,390 Philbrick's an inscrutable soul, isn't he? 86 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:44,910 I don't know what he's doing here. He wasn't invited. 87 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:48,350 You know he's not really a butler? He's a retired thief. 88 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:51,270 Is he? I know he's a successful novelist. 89 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:53,190 Philbrick? 90 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:55,190 He's a millionaire ship-owner. 91 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,390 Son of the Archbishop of Canterbury. 92 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,790 Yeah. He told me all about it. 93 00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:02,510 He told me he was a bank robber. 94 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:05,350 I wonder which of his stories are true? 95 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,120 None of them, I suppose. 96 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,030 Everything all right, gentlemen? 97 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:17,990 We know your game, Philbrick. 98 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,280 We've being comparing stories. 99 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:26,110 One day, I'll tell you the truth and you won't believe that, either. 100 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:29,830 Because it's more extraordinary than any of your tiny little minds 101 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:31,280 could ever comprehend. 102 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:35,240 As you were. 103 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:50,760 Oh, God! 104 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:54,120 Here comes the bride. 105 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,190 Is it too late to run? 106 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:02,680 Yes. 107 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:55,520 Let's start by singing Land of Hope and Glory. 108 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,440 ♪ Land of... 109 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:05,630 ♪ Land of hope and glory... ♪ 110 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,320 Why is Dingy giving her away? 111 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,640 Where's Dr Fagan? 112 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:28,110 Into this holy union, Captain Colin Alexander 113 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:32,030 Frederick George Arthur Grimes 114 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:35,870 and Florence Fagan will be joined. 115 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:40,070 Therefore, if any man or woman can show any just cause 116 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:44,110 why they may not lawfully be joined together, 117 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:48,240 let him now speak, or else forever hold his peace. 118 00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:14,920 Stop him! 119 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:19,080 - Get him! - That way! 120 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:27,240 Back! 121 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:36,480 Oh! 122 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,030 Colin Alexander 123 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:47,790 Frederick George Arthur Grimes, 124 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:51,280 do you take this woman to be your wedded wife? 125 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:59,430 I... W-W... Er... Ah... 126 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:06,630 Do you know Philbrick well? 127 00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:08,040 No. 128 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,590 He's wanted for false pretences and impersonation. 129 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,470 There's 15 charges against him from across the country. 130 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:18,030 In March, he pretended he was the Bishop of Burford. 131 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,150 He confirmed 70 kids. 132 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,310 Did it very well, apparently. 133 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,350 He told me he was a bank robber. 134 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,350 He is also a bank robber. 135 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,320 Ah. 136 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:35,680 You're going to Margot Beste-Chetwynde's place for summer? 137 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:38,680 Yes. I'm looking forward to it. 138 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,390 I-I find there's something rather thrilling about Margot's company. 139 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:44,720 Do you? 140 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,600 Shall we have a couple more? 141 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,600 You don't think you ought to get back? 142 00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:58,120 I suppose you're right. 143 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:04,560 The first days are difficult... they say. 144 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,440 Even in the most romantic marriages. 145 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,680 But since it's your first night together as a couple... 146 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,560 Well, so long, old boy. 147 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:33,600 This is the way I go now. 148 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:53,510 I must say, I'm a little worried about Grimes. 149 00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:56,390 I think the head man is giving him a hard time. 150 00:11:56,440 --> 00:12:01,440 And I'm not sure everything... above stairs suits him. 151 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:40,110 Sir? Have you seen Captain Grimes? 152 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,510 No, not since yesterday. 153 00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,110 Neither has Mrs Grimes. 154 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,560 Apparently, he didn't come home last night. 155 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,880 I'm sure he's probably just passed out in a ditch somewhere. 156 00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:56,190 It's this way. 157 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,160 Oh, Grimes! 158 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:39,790 Come along, girls! Margate, here we come! 159 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,310 Come on, in you get! 160 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,280 There we go. 161 00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:55,030 Have a good holiday, Prendy. 162 00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,230 Thank you. And you. 163 00:13:57,280 --> 00:14:00,950 Though I'm not sure I can face returning for another term. 164 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,430 I'm sure you say that at the end of every term. 165 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:05,870 I do. 166 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,160 And at the beginning of every term. 167 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,670 I was reading yesterday about what the Bishop of Winchester is calling 168 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,550 the modern churchman. 169 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,510 Apparently, these priests draw a full church salary, 170 00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:21,150 but don't commit to any particular religious belief. 171 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,710 I think the bishop meant it critically, 172 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,870 but I thought it sounded rather wonderful. 173 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:29,760 Well, I hope you do come back. 174 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:32,080 I'm sure I will. 175 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:36,280 Oh! Mummy sent the big car. 176 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,670 Well, this is me. 177 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:56,070 Mother's been asking me to practise my vodka cocktails. 178 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,710 Are you good at making cocktails, sir? 179 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,960 I'm not even good at drinking them. 180 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:07,720 Oh, my word! 181 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,600 Mother has surpassed herself. 182 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:24,350 My dears! You've made it. 183 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:29,270 Oh! You're finally here! I've been so bored without you. 184 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:32,070 Oh, my darling boy, how are you? 185 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:36,190 You seem to be getting rather handsome, in a coltish sort of way. 186 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:37,990 Wouldn't you agree, Mr Pennyfeather? 187 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:39,110 Yes. 188 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:41,390 Oh, it's wonderful to have you here, too. 189 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,750 And for the whole holidays, Professor. Lucky us. 190 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:46,110 I'm not actually a professor. 191 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:48,990 Shush, Professor. What do you think? 192 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:51,830 It's an amazing house, Mrs Beste-Chetwynde. 193 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:53,870 Come and meet the architect. 194 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,590 I find the vulcanite chairs make my bottom chafe, 195 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,790 but Otto insists on them. 196 00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:03,030 - Otto? - Ah? - Honey, Peter's here with Mr Pennyfeather. 197 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:06,430 Guten abend, meine herren. 198 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:10,070 Darling, isn't Peter getting rather handsome? 199 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:11,390 Lass uns mal schauen. 200 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:14,200 [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.] 201 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:21,480 His head is too big for his frame and his hands are too small. 202 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,950 I love what you've done with the place, Otto. 203 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,520 It's an amazing house, I was just saying. 204 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,190 You like it? 205 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:31,590 Very much. 206 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,070 I hate and detest every bit of it. 207 00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:37,550 No, my, shooks, you mustn't be so tiresome. 208 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,230 It's better than what was here before. 209 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:42,950 I've done what I can, but it is impossible for domestic architecture 210 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,270 to ever be truly beautiful. 211 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:46,880 Why's that? 212 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:52,080 Hm. 213 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:56,990 The challenge for architecture is the same challenge for all art -- 214 00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:01,270 the removal of the human element in the consideration of form. 215 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:06,590 So the only truly beautiful building is the factory. 216 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,430 Yes, darling, you've built beautiful factories. 217 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:11,950 Now, I'm going to get changed. 218 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,430 Peter, why don't you make us some drinks? 219 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,200 Yes, of course. 220 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,760 Margot is impossible to work for. 221 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:40,310 For instance, she's insisting that I put in the staircase. 222 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,590 There isn't one at the moment? 223 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:46,240 The tragedy for architects is that they have to have clients. 224 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,920 How do you get upstairs? 225 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:53,310 Why do you want to go upstairs? 226 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:55,590 You see, Paul, this is my point. 227 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,390 Stairs are ugly, but humans demand them. 228 00:17:58,440 --> 00:17:59,950 Why can't you just stay in one place? 229 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,550 Why must you go upstairs, downstairs, 230 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,150 in and out, up and round, huh? 231 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,030 Do machines require a staircase? 232 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,670 No! 233 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,750 What an immature, self-destructive being is a man. 234 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,320 Yes. 235 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,390 But what if you want to go to sleep? 236 00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:16,670 Argh! 237 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,110 If you must go upstairs, 238 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:23,750 install an elevator on the exterior of the building. 239 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,990 That's a good solution. 240 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,040 Here we are. 241 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:33,950 Oh! 242 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:37,270 Drinks. I call it The Panty Dropper. 243 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:41,670 It's er, it's vodka, rum, whisky. I serve it slightly warmed. 244 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:45,350 Aren't you clever, darling? Can I credit you for this? 245 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,190 - No. - A teacher called Captain Grimes 246 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,270 actually taught us all how to make these. 247 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:50,750 I love teachers like that. 248 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:54,710 Yes. Sadly, he... he committed suicide last week. 249 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:56,670 Oh, no, that's horrible. 250 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:57,870 Scheisse. 251 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,710 Well, let's toast to poor Captain Grimes. 252 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,880 - Poor Captain Grimes. - Prost. 253 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:12,030 Perhaps I could, er, get a glass of water, as well? 254 00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:13,880 Oh, water's for washing. 255 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:18,790 So, who wants to see my drawings of French prostitutes? 256 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:20,310 I'd love to. 257 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:23,400 Paul, setz dich, ja? 258 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,830 Do you visit prostitutes much, Paul? 259 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,960 Um... not so much. 260 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:33,440 I draw everything. 261 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,000 Here are my prostitutes. 262 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:39,480 Ooh! 263 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:55,590 That's a nice one. 264 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:59,430 Her raised buttocks, and head thrown back in ecstasy. 265 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:00,680 Yes. 266 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,430 Paul. 267 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,030 I'd like to give you this one as a gift. 268 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,800 - Oh, thank you. - Yeah. 269 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,160 Is there perhaps one without you in it? 270 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:24,630 Of course. Choose which one you like. 271 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,430 The woman pleasuring herself? 272 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:27,750 That one's lovely. Thank you. 273 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:30,030 Oh, Paul, I love to draw. 274 00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:31,350 I can see. 275 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:34,190 Yeah. Let's draw now. You and me, Paul. 276 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:35,790 Let's draw Margot. 277 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,040 Oh, no, not again, darling. 278 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:43,510 Peter, bitte? Fur dich. Hold, please, thank you. 279 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:47,630 I could draw you 500 times daily. 280 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:53,750 You are such a wonderful, firm assembly of rectilinear planes. 281 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:57,560 Well, I'd like to keep my clothes on, thank you. 282 00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,600 Me, too. 283 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:14,350 Paul, would you say you are a static person or a dynamic one? 284 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:15,790 Hm? 285 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,630 I believe all people should be divided into those two types. 286 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:22,270 Static... or dynamic. 287 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:27,390 That makes much more sense than dividing them into male or female. 288 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,430 So, which type are you, Paul? 289 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:31,880 Dynamic. 290 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,800 I'm definitely a dynamic person. 291 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:39,520 Yeah. 292 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:46,480 My father. 293 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:51,590 Oh, Peter, darling, did I tell you I was having 294 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,670 a weekend party here at the house to show it off? 295 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,790 Margot, I've asked you not to do this. 296 00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:01,670 Oh, shush. Be quiet. It's my house. I paid for it. 297 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,910 Now, could you face organising it all? You know what I'm like. 298 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,990 Of course, Mama. How many people will be coming? 299 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,950 Oh, I don't know. I gave up inviting people weeks ago. 300 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,470 Maybe a couple of hundred. 301 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:15,550 Oh, but don't worry, most of them are hopeless at leaving London. 302 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,350 Will it be a fancy dress party? 303 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:20,710 Hm, God, no. Had enough of those. 304 00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:24,910 Just this year I've been to a circus one, a Hawaiian one, 305 00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,070 a Victorian one, a Russian one, 306 00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:31,950 a Wild West one, one where you had to be dressed as a windmill... 307 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,030 It's so boring. 308 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:38,070 And when did parties move from being an expression of hospitality 309 00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:40,310 to a competitive form of public spectacle? 310 00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:42,190 You did say that you enjoyed the 311 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,550 "What were you wearing when the Titanic sank?" party. 312 00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,000 Hm. Oh, yes. That suited my mood perfectly. 313 00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:50,950 Oh! Dinner is served. Now, stop drawing. 314 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,840 Let me see what you've done. 315 00:22:55,040 --> 00:23:00,110 Oh, Otto, I wish you wouldn't do that! It's so boring. 316 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:04,350 You've drawn me completely naked, when I clearly have my clothes on. 317 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:06,640 Now, let's see what you've done. 318 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,030 Hm. 319 00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:11,280 Those are your eyes. 320 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:13,960 Hm. 321 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:19,160 Dinner is served. 322 00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:51,480 Paul... are you awake? 323 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,760 Oh, well, I... I wasn't. 324 00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:59,790 I just wanted to apologies for Otto's manner. 325 00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:02,110 He's German and an architect, 326 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,390 and that can be an unfortunate combination. 327 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:05,790 But he is a genius. 328 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,910 I'm sorry about my drawing. It's never been my... 329 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:12,320 Oh. Please. I didn't invite you here to draw, did I? 330 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:20,070 I... obviously do find you very beautiful. 331 00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:23,590 It's just that I wasn't able to express it with a pencil. 332 00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:25,310 It was frustrating. 333 00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:28,080 Do you? Find me beautiful? 334 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:31,270 Yes. 335 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:33,430 Hm. I don't like my mouth. 336 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:35,830 It's a beautiful mouth. 337 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,230 All of you is beautiful. 338 00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:39,990 Like a rainbow. 339 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,790 Like a lily flower 340 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:46,560 that's opened for the first full fat drops of spring rain. 341 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:51,670 If a million painters painted for 40 hours, they'd never be able to... 342 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:57,440 Shush! You don't have to talk, you handsome, drunk man. 343 00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:20,070 Jenny? 344 00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:22,360 Where are you? Jenny? 345 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:26,240 Guten morgen, Paul. 346 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:32,710 Don't you think she's the most wonderful woman in the world? 347 00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:34,150 In what way? 348 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:38,750 Beautiful and free. It's almost like she's a different species. 349 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,430 Do you know what I mean? 350 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:43,510 Margot's variations are seductive. 351 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,790 They certainly are. 352 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:47,670 Yeah. 353 00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:51,510 Especially the way her left breast 354 00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:55,960 is slightly more raised than her right. It's ghastly! 355 00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,910 I do enjoy sleeping with her. 356 00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:04,480 Yeah, part of me thinks I should propose to her again. 357 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:06,600 Sorry? 358 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:08,600 I love her body... 359 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:12,000 .. as much as I love concrete. 360 00:26:39,120 --> 00:26:42,390 - Hello, I'm Tom. - Paul. 361 00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:46,270 What's brought you to this part of the world? 362 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,750 Trying to get away from an architect. I'm a teacher. 363 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:53,080 I tutor a boy who lives locally in a big house. 364 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:55,950 At King's Thursday? 365 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:57,040 Yes. 366 00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:05,830 Are you going to the party this afternoon? 367 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,230 Yes. Are you? 368 00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:12,030 Yes and no. Ah, I'd like to. I know Margot a bit. 369 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:14,110 - Do you? - Yeah. She often has me at her parties. 370 00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,670 And then I write about them the next day. For The Daily. 371 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:17,830 You're a journalist? 372 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:19,990 I have a society column. 373 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:21,790 Golly. Is that a good career? 374 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:24,680 So long as you can get into the parties, it is. 375 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:29,870 I don't know why but, um, Margot hasn't invited me this time. 376 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:31,270 Perhaps she forgot? 377 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:33,910 She told me she hadn't invited everyone that she wanted to. 378 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:35,720 Why, that must be it. 379 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:40,510 See the thing is, I have a friend -- 380 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:43,870 a rival, really -- he writes for The Weekend. 381 00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:46,150 He's an unscrupulous little turd. 382 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,310 I say "friend." 383 00:27:47,360 --> 00:27:49,950 Actually, I hate the man, but he's going to be at the party. 384 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,190 It would look pretty bad for me if he did a piece 385 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:53,630 about the party and I didn't. 386 00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:54,830 I see. 387 00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:57,990 So, I was wondering if you could get me in? 388 00:27:58,040 --> 00:27:59,790 Right... 389 00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:02,990 It's just, my career, sort of, depends on it. 390 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:07,430 - Um... - And as you say, she probably just forgot to invite me. 391 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:08,950 - Er... - To be honest with you, 392 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,550 if I don't pull this off I may as well stick my head in the oven. 393 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:13,800 Oh, don't do that. Um... 394 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:16,230 Well, if you say 395 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:17,390 she normally invites you, 396 00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:19,470 I'm certain she wouldn't mind you being there. 397 00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:21,320 Wonderful! Thank you! 398 00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:25,990 Let me get you another drink. It was The Owls, wasn't it? 399 00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:30,950 - Thank you. - So, if you leave the back gate open at 3.30pm, please? 400 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,700 And don't be alarmed -- I may be dressed as an Arab. 401 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:02,030 I can't face it. I don't want to talk to any of these people. 402 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:03,790 I don't feel well. I'm going to bed. 403 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,190 Darling, will you make sure everybody has a good time? 404 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:07,670 And you, too, Paul. 405 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:10,550 But... I'm not sure I know how your mind works, Margot. 406 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:12,430 I'm sure you do. 407 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:15,910 And I'm sure you know how to make a party swing delightfully. 408 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:19,190 Make it a huge success. I'm counting on you. 409 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:22,000 I sure I'll feel better once they've all gone. 410 00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:37,790 Champagne, sir? 411 00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:41,110 Oh, my word! Peter! 412 00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:44,430 Mrs Popham. So lovely to see you. 413 00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:46,990 I can't wait to see this house. 414 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:48,830 Has Otto done marvels? 415 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:51,910 Please have a glass of Champagne or try one of my absinth frappes. 416 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:55,070 Hm! How do you two know each other? 417 00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:57,950 Oh, Mr Pennyfeather is a master at my school. 418 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,750 He's excellent at theology, German and music. 419 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:03,430 Oh, well done. Which instruments do you play? 420 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:05,920 He's superb at the piano. 421 00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:09,160 Otto, you're here! 422 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,750 Look at what you've done to this place! 423 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:14,080 It's amazing. 424 00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:17,510 I hate and detest every bit of it. 425 00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:19,790 Well, I love it. 426 00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:22,160 Then, you have nothing but my pity. 427 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:26,720 Just walk around and talk to people. 428 00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:29,960 How do you do. 429 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,990 This is what the house used to look like before I knocked it down. 430 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:39,310 As you can see -- unfit for habitation. It was appalling. 431 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:43,070 Here, however, this is the dining room space. 432 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:46,470 You see, I designed the house for human flow 433 00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:48,440 and increased functionality. 434 00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:55,550 Your eye then travels across the marble floor to the windows. 435 00:30:55,600 --> 00:31:00,720 And from here, you have an amazing view of the woods. Ja. 436 00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:10,950 I was required by my client to make this room fun, ja? 437 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:16,230 - So I added a kaleidoscope lighting. - Wow! 438 00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:19,510 Hm. We could do with a room like this in The Commons. 439 00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:25,000 So now, who would like to see the drawings of my French women? 440 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:27,830 Or, we could have some food? 441 00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:29,960 I've never seen such a spread. 442 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:33,310 Paul? 443 00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:35,080 Just a minute. 444 00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:46,400 Hello. 445 00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:48,600 Hello. 446 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:51,950 So... you're a politician? 447 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:55,110 Minister for Transport. You keen on politics, at all? 448 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:56,590 Hardly at all. 449 00:31:56,640 --> 00:32:02,550 Ah, sensible fellow. It's all just one disaster after another. 450 00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:07,310 Endless backstabbing and plots. And the public are idiots. 451 00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:10,510 I'd make much more money if I concentrated on my biographies. 452 00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:13,990 This is an extraordinary house, isn't it? 453 00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:15,390 Yes. 454 00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:20,270 It's missing nothing except the hostess herself. You known her long? 455 00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:23,070 Margot? Only a few weeks. 456 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:26,430 Ah. There's no-one like her. 457 00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:30,670 I wish she rode a bicycle and voted Tory, but she's good news otherwise. 458 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:36,310 You been to her place in Corfu? It's fabulous. Wonderful chefs. 459 00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:39,310 I don't know what she's built this place for. 460 00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:42,190 She's getting in with the wrong set. 461 00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:45,270 A rich woman without a husband is bound to be talked about. 462 00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:48,030 What she ought to be doing is getting married. 463 00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:52,270 Settling down with someone with a respected position in public life. 464 00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:53,470 Someone like you? 465 00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:55,040 Yeah, that's right. 466 00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:57,790 Do you know what that is? 467 00:32:57,840 --> 00:32:59,320 No. 468 00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:02,910 What line are you in? 469 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:04,790 I'm a teacher. 470 00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:09,790 Never mind. You're young. There's still time to change. 471 00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:14,310 Although I must say, I don't understand your generation. 472 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:16,950 You had a great opportunity after the war. 473 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:20,270 There was a whole civilisation to be remade. 474 00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:22,510 I'm just trying to find something I can stick at. 475 00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:24,430 What's your father want you to do? 476 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:26,910 I don't know. He died when I was younger. 477 00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:28,630 Sorry to hear that. 478 00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:30,550 What I will say to you is this -- 479 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:36,270 whatever you do intend to do with your life, aim high. 480 00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:38,150 That's what I do. 481 00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:40,950 Like when you're throwing a stone at a cat. 482 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:44,480 If you aim higher, you're more likely to hit something. 483 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:47,510 Aim high. 484 00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:50,510 Right, I'm off back to London soon. 485 00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:54,070 It's annoying Margot isn't at her own party. 486 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:56,350 I only came to seduce her. 487 00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,070 It's a shame she's missed that. 488 00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:00,800 Hm! Nice to meet you. 489 00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:04,000 Are you going to eat that? 490 00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:21,190 I think, to see clearly in this world, one must be a poet, 491 00:34:21,240 --> 00:34:23,830 a priest and a prophet -- all at once. 492 00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:25,550 You are so right. 493 00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:26,710 Yeah. 494 00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:29,590 When are you going to come and do my house, Otto? 495 00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:30,910 I keep asking. 496 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,870 No more houses. I detest them. 497 00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:36,190 Ja, I want to build a town instead. 498 00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:37,470 You promised. 499 00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:40,390 Pamela. Bitte, ja? 500 00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:45,110 Well, I'd give you free rein. You can do what you like. 501 00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:47,950 Come and discuss it with me on Friday night. 502 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,150 My husband's in Abyssinia again. 503 00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:54,320 Oh! Paul. 504 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,190 This is fun. 505 00:34:57,240 --> 00:34:58,990 Do you know Pamela Popham? 506 00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:00,270 We met briefly. 507 00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,830 Oh, we were just discussing architecture. 508 00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:04,310 Sir, can I have a word? 509 00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:05,680 Yes. 510 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:09,080 What is HE doing here? 511 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:11,870 What's wrong with him? 512 00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:13,190 He's a journalist. 513 00:35:13,240 --> 00:35:15,390 Yes, he writes a column, doesn't he? 514 00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:18,270 He's the most despised man in the newspapers. 515 00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,470 My mother threw him out of her last party. 516 00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:23,950 And there he is, talking to the most indiscreet man in politics. 517 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,070 He always wears an Arab disguise, 518 00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:28,830 every time, and he writes the most appalling things. 519 00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,910 When my mother finds who let him in here, she will crucify them. 520 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:36,430 Well, let's not upset her by telling her. 521 00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:37,720 How did he get in here? 522 00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,750 I'm going to go and ask him. 523 00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:44,030 No. Let me. You stay here. 524 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:47,630 I'll go and give him... a bloody good piece of my mind. 525 00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:49,150 It's well known in the House 526 00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,430 that the Home Secretary and Mr Chundra Roy 527 00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:54,630 have long been enjoying, what they call on the subcontinent, 528 00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,750 "a tender embrace without trousers." 529 00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:00,110 Hello, Tom. 530 00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,590 I thought we agreed that you wouldn't take notes. 531 00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:05,910 - No, we didn't. - I think we did, so if you'd just give me that... 532 00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:07,110 No! 533 00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:09,080 - Yes. - No... 534 00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:11,870 What's the matter? 535 00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:15,350 This man is a journalist. Tom Somebody. 536 00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:17,960 Not Tom Braeburn? 537 00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:20,070 No! 538 00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:25,190 You're the bloody turd pipe who suggested my parentage was of doubt. 539 00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:27,520 Oh! Look! 540 00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:32,070 Get out of here or I'll set my dogs on you! 541 00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:35,630 I'm going to make sure your mother has a tax inspection! 542 00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:37,430 How the hell did he get in here? 543 00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:39,030 It's beyond belief. 544 00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:40,630 Bloody man gets everywhere. 545 00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:42,190 Found you. 546 00:36:42,240 --> 00:36:47,070 We're so bored. I want you to play something for us, on the piano. 547 00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:48,910 No. 548 00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:51,870 Yes. I insist. Come on. 549 00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:54,190 No, no. I really can't. I've had too much to drink. 550 00:36:54,240 --> 00:36:57,670 Oh! We don't mind if it isn't perfect. Move. 551 00:36:57,720 --> 00:37:00,390 No, I can't. I've injured my hand. 552 00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:04,950 - Lady Popham, he really can't... - We don't mind! Sit down! 553 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:10,310 Everybody! This man here is Peter's music teacher. 554 00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:13,110 Shall we get him to play us something on the piano? 555 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,350 Yes, yes. Play us something. 556 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:18,190 No. No. No. I can't... 557 00:37:18,240 --> 00:37:20,270 Sit down! 558 00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:21,630 I can't! 559 00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:23,190 Everybody, shush! 560 00:37:23,240 --> 00:37:26,200 He's going to play something for us. 561 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:28,910 I really can't. 562 00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:33,280 Oh, for God's sake! Don't make such a scene. 563 00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:45,160 Um... 564 00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:49,950 This is a modern piece. 565 00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:51,560 What is it called? 566 00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:55,310 It's called... 567 00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:58,390 The... Fat Lady... 568 00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:02,270 Of... Stuttgart. 569 00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:04,040 Ja. 570 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:49,510 Did you have a terrible time at the party last night 571 00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:51,200 with all those awful people? 572 00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:55,630 More and more I find the need for a new husband, 573 00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:57,950 so I can stop throwing all these parties. 574 00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:02,030 But Peter's horribly fastidious. He turns down all the candidates. 575 00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:04,110 Did he turn down Otto? 576 00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:08,390 I can't remember what he said about Otto. 577 00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:10,830 And Humphrey Maltravers seems keen on you. 578 00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:14,510 Oh! Yes, he is. But I can't be Margot Maltravers. 579 00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:17,030 That's not an acceptable name. 580 00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:20,390 Oh, darling, I've loved having you around the house. 581 00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:22,110 I can't bear the thought of you 582 00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:24,830 having to go back to that Welsh school. 583 00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:27,910 Do write to Dr Fagan and tell him you won't be going back? 584 00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:31,070 What else could I do? Journalism? 585 00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:34,270 Oh, no, no, no. We'll find you a proper job. 586 00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:37,430 Maybe you can come and work for me? 587 00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:40,270 What is your business, Margot? 588 00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:42,270 Well, I run my father's business. 589 00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,910 It's called The Latin American Entertainment Company. 590 00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:46,710 It's mostly in South America. 591 00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:49,190 We provide girls for places of entertainment 592 00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:53,590 like cabarets and hotels and theatres, that sort of thing. 593 00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:56,590 I'm sure I can find you a job helping in that. 594 00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:59,400 Oh, Margot, you are wonderful. 595 00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:05,190 Oh, Carlo, thank you for another lovely meal. 596 00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:07,800 Please give my regards to the chef. 597 00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:14,120 Sorry. 598 00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:17,070 Arthur! 599 00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:19,070 Pottsie. It's me, Paul. 600 00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:24,910 Pennyfeather! Dear chap. How are you? 601 00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:28,070 How lovely to see you. This is my... 602 00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:30,480 friend, Margot Beste-Chetwynde. 603 00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:33,950 What brings you here? 604 00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:35,910 Bit of lunch. I work near here. 605 00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:40,390 Darling, why don't you talk to your friend? I'll wait for you outside. 606 00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:41,830 What line of work are you in? 607 00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:43,270 I work for the League of Nations. 608 00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,350 Gosh. Good for you, Pottsie. 609 00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:47,710 Always knew you'd end up doing something impressive. 610 00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:49,830 Are you going to save us all from another war? 611 00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:54,030 Actually, I work in a department that's an offshoot, of, er... 612 00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:55,630 an extension of the main unit. 613 00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:57,270 Golly. 614 00:41:57,320 --> 00:41:58,910 What are you up to? 615 00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:01,430 I always thought the manner of your expulsion from university 616 00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:03,230 was a great injustice, Paul. 617 00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:06,030 - Thank you, Portsie. - I'll tell you, I gave Digby-Vaine-Trumpington 618 00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:07,430 a piece of my mind on the matter. 619 00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:08,470 - Did you? - Hm. 620 00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:11,190 I told him you'd had your whole future shattered. 621 00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:12,870 Do you know how he replied? 622 00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,950 He said he'd send you £20. 623 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:17,950 Well, I never got it. 624 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:19,600 I told him not to send it. 625 00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:22,670 Thank you(!) 626 00:42:22,720 --> 00:42:24,790 Probably for the best, in the end. 627 00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:28,230 I'd heard you'd had to become a teacher. 628 00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:32,000 Yes. But I'm giving that up, now that I've met Margot. 629 00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:34,840 Good to see you. 630 00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:50,870 Now, I don't want you talking to the girls 631 00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:52,430 who are auditioning for the show. 632 00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:54,350 I don't want them feeling too judged. 633 00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:57,440 No, of course not. Thank you so much for this, Margot. 634 00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:00,670 I see you've got a new necklace. 635 00:43:00,720 --> 00:43:02,790 Yes, Otto gave it to me. 636 00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:04,230 Oh. 637 00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:07,790 They're ball bearings from an anti-aircraft gun. 638 00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:09,120 Shall we get started? 639 00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:11,840 Ladies! 640 00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:16,830 Hello, darling. Name? 641 00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:18,870 Pompilia de la Conradine. 642 00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:20,030 Ah. Real name? 643 00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:21,750 Betsy Brown. 644 00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:22,870 Age? 645 00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:24,230 22. 646 00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:25,550 Real age? 647 00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:27,360 22. 648 00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:29,750 Experience? 649 00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:33,190 I was at Mrs Rosenbaum's in St James' for two years, ma'am. 650 00:43:33,240 --> 00:43:36,990 I'll see. Well, I will try and find something for you. 651 00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:39,910 But tell me, why did you leave Mrs Rosenbaum's? 652 00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:42,070 She said the gentlemen like a change. 653 00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:43,360 Hm. 654 00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:54,000 Mrs Rosenbaum's, please. 655 00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:58,910 Oh, yes, hello. This is the Latin American Entertainment Company. 656 00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:02,840 I have a Betsy Brown here. Can you tell me a little bit about her? 657 00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:09,470 I see. Well, I thought that was the case. Thank you. 658 00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:12,070 Well, I'm sorry, darling, 659 00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:14,750 I'm not going to be able to use you until you're better again. 660 00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:16,480 Thank you. 661 00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:21,830 What was wrong with her? She seemed fit to me. 662 00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:25,750 - Sadly not. - You didn't ask her to sing or dance? 663 00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:29,230 Well, one learns to judge those things by sight. 664 00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:31,120 Next! 665 00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:34,710 Hello, darling. Name? 666 00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:36,590 Renee von Banky. 667 00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:38,270 Real name? 668 00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:39,960 Jane Jenkins. 669 00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:42,920 Great. Jane, give us a turn. 670 00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:48,950 Very nice. How did you hear about us? 671 00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:51,430 My father in Cardiff told me about you. 672 00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:55,190 Ah, yes, often the way. So you're new to this business? 673 00:44:55,240 --> 00:44:56,390 Yes, ma'am. 674 00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:58,510 Excellent. When could you sail? 675 00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,630 When do you want me? 676 00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:02,630 Well, we have a few vacancies in Rio. 677 00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:05,070 Four or five of the girls are going to travel there 678 00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:06,590 from Marseilles next month. 679 00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:08,270 Would you be able to join them? 680 00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:11,350 Yes, ma'am. I'd be very pleased to, I'm sure. 681 00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:13,440 Thank you. 682 00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:20,720 Next! 683 00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:27,150 Well, that's the last of them. Were you terribly bored, my angel? 684 00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:30,670 No, Margot, you were wonderful. Like an empress. 685 00:45:30,720 --> 00:45:33,030 Now, pop outside and wait for me in the car. 686 00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:34,880 I have a few phone calls to make. 687 00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:43,270 All right, ladies, how did that go? 688 00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:46,070 Good? Everyone happy? Good. 689 00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:49,390 I'm sure you'll all be off to Rio before you can say "dengue fever". 690 00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:51,550 OK, come on, then. Hurry up. 691 00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:53,040 Grimes? 692 00:45:57,240 --> 00:45:59,310 Pennyfeather! 693 00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:03,670 My dear chap, I thought I'd encounter you again. 694 00:46:03,720 --> 00:46:05,590 How are you? 695 00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:07,470 You're not dead?! 696 00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:09,830 No, no, no. Fighting fit. 697 00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:11,310 Forgive the vegetation. 698 00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:13,670 A changed face is necessary at the moment. 699 00:46:13,720 --> 00:46:15,670 Are you in the soup again? 700 00:46:15,720 --> 00:46:19,630 No, not this time. But, er, my suicide didn't go down well. 701 00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:23,350 No body at the funeral and then, I gather, my first wife turned up, 702 00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:27,280 which went down badly with Flossie and the police and... 703 00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:31,630 - They're all after me. - What on Earth are you doing here? 704 00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:34,310 Working. Landed on my feet again. 705 00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:35,950 - Foot! - Shush, Renee. 706 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,270 No, I was hiding out in a pub in Soho, 707 00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:41,350 when I heard that this syndicate were looking for a chap to travel 708 00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:45,030 to Rio with a group of ladies, to run a place of entertainment there. 709 00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:48,430 They were hoping to have someone who could control themselves 710 00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:50,590 when it came to the ladies. 711 00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:52,150 So, I said, "Where do I sign?" 712 00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:55,990 So, we're both working for Mrs Beste-Chetwynde? 713 00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:59,310 Yes, indeed. The team reunited. 714 00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:01,870 Only goes to show how small the world is. 715 00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:04,390 Well, it's wonderful to see you back at full force. 716 00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:05,830 Oh, yes. 717 00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:07,430 We must have a drink before you sail. 718 00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:11,510 We must. Now... you can reach me here. 719 00:47:11,560 --> 00:47:12,880 Jolly good. 720 00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:16,640 Chop-chop, ladies. 721 00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:20,990 And it's for these reasons that Rome fell to the Goths. 722 00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:22,600 I see. 723 00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:28,640 Let's pause on history for a moment and consider some maths. 724 00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:33,350 I need to do quadratic equations, apparently. 725 00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:36,680 Peter, is something bothering you? 726 00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:42,510 I don't want Mother to marry Otto Silenus. 727 00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:45,550 Oh, I'm sure she won't. She turned him down. 728 00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:48,110 He proposed to her again yesterday on a boat. 729 00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:50,590 He made a speech about beauty 730 00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:53,310 and he gave her a necklace made out of ball bearings. 731 00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:57,990 But Otto's going out with Pamela Popham, who was at the party. 732 00:47:58,040 --> 00:47:59,670 - Lady Popham? - Yes. 733 00:47:59,720 --> 00:48:02,750 Oh, I don't think so. She's married to Lord Popham. 734 00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:04,320 That would be scandalous. 735 00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:08,950 I'd much rather Mother married you. 736 00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:10,510 I'm sure she's only marrying Otto 737 00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:12,510 to get all the other annoying suitors off her back. 738 00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:14,350 You'd rather she married me? 739 00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:17,470 She clearly cares about you a great deal, Mr Pennyfeather, 740 00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:21,870 as do I. But... it's too late. 741 00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:24,320 She's engaged to the "genius". 742 00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:30,830 He's a famous architect, 743 00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:33,030 engaged to be married to Margot Beste-Chetwynde, 744 00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:36,230 but I know that he's having an affair with Lady Pamela Popham. 745 00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:39,990 He's going round to visit her house on Friday night, Audley Street. 746 00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:42,350 If you could get a photo and piece in The Daily, Tom, 747 00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:43,990 I'd be incredibly grateful. 748 00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:45,160 This is good stuff. 749 00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:47,760 Sordid affair. 750 00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:51,360 And he's German, as well, isn't he? 751 00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:53,840 The bastard! 752 00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:11,550 Oh, thank you, James. I've forgotten my gloves inside. 753 00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:13,350 - Can you run and get them? - Yes, my lady. 754 00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:15,510 Oh, thank you for waiting. 755 00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:17,630 Shall we go to Claridge's and have some pastis? 756 00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:19,440 That sounds lovely. 757 00:49:20,920 --> 00:49:23,910 Oh, Otto, you stupid man! 758 00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:25,590 What's happened? 759 00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:29,190 But he's been seen coming out of Pamela's house at midnight! 760 00:49:29,240 --> 00:49:31,150 She's married to Lord Popham. 761 00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:34,390 Oh, I can't be seen marrying Otto now. 762 00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:38,280 They'll mark me down as a cuckolded harlot. Oh! 763 00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:43,510 Margot, please don't marry Otto. He doesn't love you. 764 00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:45,190 He only loves himself. 765 00:49:45,240 --> 00:49:48,870 But I love you. Deeply. Sincerely. 766 00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:50,870 More than I know how to express. 767 00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:52,350 Shush, don't make a scene. 768 00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:54,390 There's only you and me here. 769 00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:56,350 Well, go on. 770 00:49:56,400 --> 00:49:59,390 Margot, will you make me the happiest man in the world 771 00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:01,030 by marrying me? 772 00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:04,880 I adore you. And Peter says he'd like you to marry me. 773 00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:09,350 Oh, very well, Mr Pennyfeather. 774 00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:13,310 I do find you to be a delightful, foolish, handsome creature. 775 00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:15,510 Let's do it. 776 00:50:15,560 --> 00:50:17,990 Will you be able to cope with being very rich? 777 00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:19,310 Yes. 778 00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:21,350 The money can be tiresome. 779 00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:24,270 If I'm with you, I'll be happy. 780 00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:26,320 Then, I say yes to you. 781 00:50:45,280 --> 00:50:47,790 Did you see our announcement in the paper? 782 00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:49,480 It's good, isn't it? 783 00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:52,800 Oh, my! 784 00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:58,400 Oh, let's see. Hm. 785 00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:03,670 They're from a man named Alistair Digby-Vaine-Trumpington. 786 00:51:03,720 --> 00:51:07,710 Ah. He attacked me at college. Took all my clothes off me. 787 00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:09,630 Oh, he sounds fun! 788 00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:12,470 And he seems to have sent us half the Amazon rain forest. 789 00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:15,910 Shall we have him at the wedding? He clearly wants to come. 790 00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:19,070 - Why not? - I didn't realise you had so many old friends. 791 00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:20,310 Neither did I. 792 00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:23,110 Have you chosen one of them to be your best man yet? 793 00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:25,590 I don't know why, but I haven't heard back from Pottsie. 794 00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:28,950 Oh darling, you only have four days left to choose a best man. 795 00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:31,150 Why don't you ask this Digby fella? 796 00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:32,950 Let me try and find Prendy first. 797 00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:36,430 Very well. Now, I'm having some dresses brought to the house, 798 00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:38,310 so I don't want you hanging around. 799 00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:42,430 Why don't you go out and buy some ties or some towels? 800 00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:43,750 Oh! 801 00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:47,150 Also, I was thinking we should have our honeymoon in my home in Corfu. 802 00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:48,470 Would you like that? 803 00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:50,390 Sounds lovely, darling. 804 00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:52,230 It used to belong to a little Frenchman. 805 00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:53,680 Napoleon. 806 00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:23,950 Paul! Something rather tiresome's happened. 807 00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:26,150 You know the girls who were sent down to Rio? 808 00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:27,830 With my friend Grimes? 809 00:52:27,880 --> 00:52:31,310 Yes, well, several of them have got stuck in Marseille. 810 00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:33,150 Something about their passports. 811 00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:35,310 It's such a bore that this is happening now, 812 00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:38,190 but I'd really like it fixed before our wedding. 813 00:52:38,240 --> 00:52:39,550 Before Saturday? 814 00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:42,390 Would you be an angel and go down there and sort it out? 815 00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:45,910 It's just a matter of giving the right man several hundred pounds. 816 00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:47,590 You want me to go now? 817 00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:50,030 But... we get married in four days. 818 00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:51,790 Well, yes, but if you fly today, 819 00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:54,270 you can be there and back with plenty of time. 820 00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:58,670 I would go myself, but I haven't a minute to spare this week. 821 00:52:58,720 --> 00:53:00,630 No. Of course. 822 00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:01,910 Oh, good. 823 00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:03,750 Jenny! 824 00:53:03,800 --> 00:53:06,500 I've booked you on the 5pm flight to Marseilles. 825 00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:49,070 Merci. 826 00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:52,880 Merci, monsieur. Gardez bien votre chapeau. 827 00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:55,040 Thank you. 828 00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:20,320 Give me that back. 829 00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:41,950 Bonsoir. Je cherche pour Jane Jenkins et Marie Dubois? 830 00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:44,510 De Latin American Entertainment Company? 831 00:54:44,560 --> 00:54:46,080 Upstairs. 832 00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:53,790 I'm so sorry you've had to stay in this awful area. 833 00:54:53,840 --> 00:54:57,240 Don't worry, ladies, I'm here to help. 834 00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:06,470 Mr Pennyfeather, you are under arrest 835 00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:08,830 for aiding and abetting prostitution, 836 00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:11,480 for slave trading and for passport forgery. 837 00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:13,910 This is your new home. 838 00:55:13,960 --> 00:55:16,150 You are going to hate it here SO much. 839 00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:17,440 Super. 840 00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:20,910 Oh, how are you? Is it awful here? 841 00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:22,510 Awful. 842 00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:24,670 I need to get out of here, too. 843 00:55:24,720 --> 00:55:26,440 I have to escape.