1
00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:30,085
TRIPPING THE RIFT
THE MOVIE

2
00:01:49,875 --> 00:01:52,212
Target area:         Target Level: None
Chode McBlob - Location Unknown

3
00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:57,795
Jacket: Material ID, 42556 Size: 38
Thread level: Minimal

4
00:01:57,834 --> 00:01:59,498
Pants: Material ID: 47 829
Size 31, Unknown Substance

5
00:02:10,135 --> 00:02:12,981
Suddenly, trolling those
dives for your birthday party

6
00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:14,701
doesn't seem quite
so bad, Uncle Chode.

7
00:02:15,064 --> 00:02:16,739
I have a bad feeling about this.

8
00:02:17,182 --> 00:02:20,875
Yeah, black and white usually means
the fucking producers ran out of money.

9
00:02:20,918 --> 00:02:23,400
She's talking about
this place, dumb ass!

10
00:02:23,763 --> 00:02:25,890
Relax! You'll feel a whole lot better

11
00:02:25,933 --> 00:02:27,824
once you get your
share of the money.

12
00:02:28,387 --> 00:02:30,733
I can't believe how much
these morons are paying us

13
00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:34,455
to be the royal princess'
bodyguard for just a weekend.

14
00:02:34,485 --> 00:02:36,828
Thank God this job's
only for two days!

15
00:02:36,858 --> 00:02:39,308
These local yokels
give me the creeps!

16
00:02:39,378 --> 00:02:41,624
Nonsense.
They're probably just shy.

17
00:02:41,867 --> 00:02:44,066
You just have to be the
one that's friendly first!

18
00:02:44,349 --> 00:02:46,465
A pleasant good
evening to you, madam.

19
00:02:46,828 --> 00:02:48,923
- Fuck off!
- That went well.

20
00:02:49,286 --> 00:02:51,294
Hey, Uncle Chode,
you've seen the princess.

21
00:02:51,295 --> 00:02:54,533
Is she beautiful and sweet and
innocent like in all the fairy tales?

22
00:02:54,696 --> 00:02:56,632
<i>Hier kommen sie the princess.</i>

23
00:02:56,675 --> 00:02:58,589
Lord,

24
00:02:58,632 --> 00:03:00,456
let her be a hot little virgin

25
00:03:00,579 --> 00:03:03,666
anxious to learn the
wicked ways of the world.

26
00:03:06,028 --> 00:03:07,588
Damn, ho, baby!

27
00:03:07,791 --> 00:03:10,297
Somebody's been
hitting the super size.

28
00:03:10,660 --> 00:03:14,908
Well, let's just say they call
them fairy tales for a reason, kid.

29
00:03:24,318 --> 00:03:26,664
Is it Halloween already?

30
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,287
Geez, you tell me.

31
00:03:28,570 --> 00:03:32,097
You all look a little old
to be trick-or-treating.

32
00:03:32,140 --> 00:03:34,385
We've been hired to
guard the princess.

33
00:03:34,428 --> 00:03:36,630
In that case, let
me introduce myself.

34
00:03:37,506 --> 00:03:39,621
- I'm...
- Don't tell me. Eyesore!

35
00:03:39,864 --> 00:03:42,964
No! I don't know why everyone
thinks my name is Eyesore.

36
00:03:43,167 --> 00:03:45,064
Maybe it's because you've got...

37
00:03:45,107 --> 00:03:46,207
What?

38
00:03:46,264 --> 00:03:47,364
Nothing.

39
00:03:47,503 --> 00:03:52,483
Who is the inconsiderate bastard that's
bothering us at this time of the night?

40
00:03:52,572 --> 00:03:54,396
They're here to
call the princess.

41
00:03:54,981 --> 00:03:58,916
- Yeah. My name...
- Don't tell me. Swollen Hemorrhoid?

42
00:03:58,946 --> 00:04:01,453
May I call you Swollen?
I'm Frau Schmidt.

43
00:04:01,496 --> 00:04:03,696
I'm Her Highness'
lady in waiting.

44
00:04:03,739 --> 00:04:05,467
Show them in!

45
00:04:05,510 --> 00:04:07,195
Walk this way.

46
00:04:12,695 --> 00:04:13,828
Too easy.

47
00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:19,129
Sorry, but your cow will
have to go in the barn.

48
00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:21,233
I beg your pardon!

49
00:04:21,276 --> 00:04:23,251
I am sorry.

50
00:04:23,294 --> 00:04:26,395
Your talking cow will
have to go in the barn!

51
00:04:26,758 --> 00:04:29,728
I am not an animal!

52
00:04:39,214 --> 00:04:41,507
Piss off, you murdering swine!

53
00:04:41,790 --> 00:04:44,884
What? How dare you
talk to me like...

54
00:04:44,927 --> 00:04:47,527
Who's out there?
What did you say?

55
00:04:47,810 --> 00:04:48,910
Nothing!

56
00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:54,182
La Cage aux Poofter

57
00:04:54,860 --> 00:04:56,149
So I said to him,

58
00:04:56,192 --> 00:04:59,392
"Dr. Richard Turner is so formal.

59
00:04:59,435 --> 00:05:02,593
"Do you mind if I call you Dick?"

60
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,650
Give me your clothes!

61
00:05:04,693 --> 00:05:07,942
You forgot to say
please, sweetie.

62
00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:11,149
Okay, girls, time to close up.

63
00:05:11,392 --> 00:05:14,960
If you think I'm staying open
all night again, you're...

64
00:05:15,003 --> 00:05:16,103
big nuts.

65
00:05:16,259 --> 00:05:18,916
I said give me your clothes!

66
00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:23,073
Hey, girlfriend, we don't want any trouble.
Get going while the getting's good.

67
00:05:23,074 --> 00:05:25,082
Primary Social Protocol
a.) Exterminate; b.) Ignore;
c.) Inflict wedgy

68
00:05:25,112 --> 00:05:26,816
How would you like a wedgy?

69
00:05:27,019 --> 00:05:28,759
Sounds like my old gym teacher.

70
00:05:37,991 --> 00:05:40,278
I'm looking for Chode.

71
00:05:40,428 --> 00:05:44,658
You just missed him. He was here
asking about renting the place.

72
00:05:45,101 --> 00:05:49,544
The homophobic little bastard took
off when he realized it was a gay bar!

73
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:56,848
If I ever see you again,

74
00:05:57,171 --> 00:06:00,423
I'll scratch your
eyes out, you bitch!

75
00:06:03,384 --> 00:06:05,280
When I am king,

76
00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:08,323
you will be Queen
Mother, Mother.

77
00:06:10,957 --> 00:06:12,456
One minute!

78
00:06:13,857 --> 00:06:15,623
One stinking minute!

79
00:06:18,456 --> 00:06:20,191
What is it, woman?

80
00:06:20,221 --> 00:06:23,974
Last night there was another
threat on the life of the princess!

81
00:06:24,004 --> 00:06:25,317
Let me see that note!

82
00:06:25,809 --> 00:06:30,044
I hope that security teams that I
asked you to hire knows their stuff!

83
00:06:30,115 --> 00:06:34,283
Yes. I got the best
bodyguards in the business.

84
00:06:38,749 --> 00:06:41,954
They'd better be! If anything
were to happen to her,

85
00:06:41,997 --> 00:06:44,187
our nation would
be without a leader!

86
00:06:44,710 --> 00:06:47,554
We would find one somewhere.

87
00:06:49,208 --> 00:06:52,045
Nonsense! There is no
one left of royal blood.

88
00:06:52,088 --> 00:06:54,521
She is the last of
an ancient, noble line

89
00:06:54,564 --> 00:06:56,921
that goes back
hundreds of years!

90
00:06:56,964 --> 00:06:58,445
<i>Ja, ja, ja!</i>

91
00:06:58,488 --> 00:07:01,621
Don't let the door hit you
on the ass on the way out!

92
00:07:04,388 --> 00:07:07,320
Did you know Her
Highness' royal crown

93
00:07:07,363 --> 00:07:09,310
is on your moose head?

94
00:07:10,008 --> 00:07:13,087
Did you know, even in this light,
I can see your moose-stache?

95
00:07:15,953 --> 00:07:17,644
That was close!

96
00:07:17,847 --> 00:07:22,121
It's time to kill me
one big-ass ugly princess

97
00:07:22,164 --> 00:07:24,954
and become the king!

98
00:07:29,739 --> 00:07:31,563
This is torture.

99
00:07:31,593 --> 00:07:35,053
She hasn't done anything but look
at herself in the mirror for hours.

100
00:07:35,096 --> 00:07:36,309
How could she stand it?

101
00:07:36,672 --> 00:07:39,185
Those earrings are lovely!

102
00:07:39,228 --> 00:07:40,743
What do you know?

103
00:07:40,826 --> 00:07:43,477
It must be wonderful
to be in a position

104
00:07:43,507 --> 00:07:46,059
to make a difference in
the lives of your people.

105
00:07:46,089 --> 00:07:47,576
Oh, them.

106
00:07:47,619 --> 00:07:50,665
They're the reason I don't
have a minute for myself.

107
00:07:50,828 --> 00:07:53,119
Why am I brushing my own hair?

108
00:07:53,162 --> 00:07:54,642
You, with the big tits,

109
00:07:54,685 --> 00:07:56,518
get over here and
start brushing!

110
00:07:56,721 --> 00:07:58,809
A hundred strokes!

111
00:07:58,852 --> 00:08:01,752
Yeah, I could use a hundred
strokes myself about know.

112
00:08:01,995 --> 00:08:03,775
I'm bored!

113
00:08:03,818 --> 00:08:05,952
I brought along a word game.

114
00:08:05,982 --> 00:08:09,473
Good idea! You're not
as stupid as you look!

115
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:12,283
Set it up and make it snappy!

116
00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:14,884
Over here!

117
00:08:18,004 --> 00:08:19,594
I had to get you alone.

118
00:08:19,595 --> 00:08:23,041
Here it comes.
Look, lady, you're not my type.

119
00:08:23,164 --> 00:08:25,717
I get broads like you
hitting on me all the time.

120
00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:27,341
Let me tell you how it is.

121
00:08:27,384 --> 00:08:29,050
You're too old, you're too ugly,

122
00:08:29,093 --> 00:08:30,674
and for the record, I'd like to be

123
00:08:30,717 --> 00:08:33,316
the only one in the
relationship who shaves.

124
00:08:34,349 --> 00:08:36,602
I have no sexual interest in you!

125
00:08:36,632 --> 00:08:38,273
Hey! Hey, what am
I, chopped liver?

126
00:08:38,316 --> 00:08:41,017
Listen, the princess
is in great danger!

127
00:08:41,060 --> 00:08:43,206
I don't mean to
tell you your job,

128
00:08:43,249 --> 00:08:46,916
but I think the prime
minister is up to no good.

129
00:08:46,959 --> 00:08:48,106
The prime minister?

130
00:08:48,149 --> 00:08:49,850
He seems like a
nice enough guy.

131
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:53,673
You think so?

132
00:08:53,716 --> 00:08:55,572
Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

133
00:08:55,615 --> 00:08:58,105
Oftentimes we judge
people so harshly

134
00:08:58,148 --> 00:09:01,348
when we are only
projecting our own fears.

135
00:09:01,391 --> 00:09:03,448
Man is inherently good.

136
00:09:07,215 --> 00:09:09,648
Yeah, that's what I believe.

137
00:09:09,691 --> 00:09:12,039
I hope that's what
you do believe,

138
00:09:12,082 --> 00:09:14,681
because if anything
happens to the princess,

139
00:09:14,724 --> 00:09:17,280
you and your friends
will all be put to death!

140
00:09:17,483 --> 00:09:18,605
What?

141
00:09:18,648 --> 00:09:20,781
I didn't see anything
about death in the contract.

142
00:09:20,824 --> 00:09:22,005
It's standard.

143
00:09:22,048 --> 00:09:23,671
Always read the fine print.

144
00:09:23,714 --> 00:09:26,547
Kanot, and I get
double points for the K.

145
00:09:26,590 --> 00:09:28,547
Just a minute.
That's not a word.

146
00:09:28,590 --> 00:09:30,002
It is so.

147
00:09:30,045 --> 00:09:31,371
Really?

148
00:09:31,414 --> 00:09:32,638
Use it in a sentence.

149
00:09:32,681 --> 00:09:35,538
My authority kanot
be questioned.

150
00:09:35,581 --> 00:09:38,880
Otherwise, a certain robot's
gonna get his fairy ass

151
00:09:38,923 --> 00:09:41,403
carted off to the scrap heap!

152
00:09:41,446 --> 00:09:43,647
Well, now that I
hear it in a sentence.

153
00:09:43,690 --> 00:09:46,170
Hey, where you going?

154
00:09:46,213 --> 00:09:48,613
We have to keep an eye
on you at all times.

155
00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:50,004
Please!

156
00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:52,713
I'm just going to
the powder room,

157
00:09:52,756 --> 00:09:55,380
and it ain't to take a powder.

158
00:09:55,783 --> 00:09:57,713
Somebody go with her. T'nuk.

159
00:10:38,444 --> 00:10:41,617
- Everything come out okay in there?
- Kick the door in!

160
00:10:43,245 --> 00:10:44,275
How is she?

161
00:10:44,276 --> 00:10:48,485
Remember those pretty earrings I
admired on the princess earlier?

162
00:10:48,608 --> 00:10:50,944
Well, there's not
a scratch on them.

163
00:10:51,307 --> 00:10:53,734
Holy shit!
We gotta get out of here!

164
00:10:53,777 --> 00:10:56,310
If the princess' subjects
find out she's been murdered,

165
00:10:56,353 --> 00:10:57,610
we'll all be executed.

166
00:10:57,653 --> 00:10:58,801
Executed?

167
00:10:58,924 --> 00:11:01,634
Uncle Chode, is it true?
Are we doomed?

168
00:11:01,677 --> 00:11:04,810
Well, if you want to see
the glass as half empty.

169
00:11:04,853 --> 00:11:06,559
Technically...

170
00:11:06,589 --> 00:11:07,703
Chode! Really!

171
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:09,242
Bob, I need you to lock
into our coordinates

172
00:11:09,285 --> 00:11:11,288
and beam us back on board.

173
00:11:11,318 --> 00:11:12,967
- No can do, El Capitan.
- What do you mean?

174
00:11:13,010 --> 00:11:15,901
<i>I kind of shorted out the
beaming device with a fork.</i>

175
00:11:16,275 --> 00:11:18,192
<i>You should have
never left me alone!</i>

176
00:11:18,235 --> 00:11:20,110
Geez, how the hell
did that happen?

177
00:11:20,273 --> 00:11:23,042
<i>Well, I was trying to beam my
raisin toast out of the toaster</i>

178
00:11:23,085 --> 00:11:24,776
<i>with the transporter
beam and a fork.</i>

179
00:11:24,819 --> 00:11:26,733
Why, for Christ's sake?

180
00:11:26,776 --> 00:11:29,274
<i>Because my toast was
stuck in the toaster.</i>

181
00:11:30,541 --> 00:11:33,098
<i>We're toast, Uncle Chode!</i>

182
00:11:33,381 --> 00:11:35,799
Geez, I'm surrounded
by fucking morons!

183
00:11:35,842 --> 00:11:38,575
Look, if we could find out
who killed the princess,

184
00:11:38,618 --> 00:11:42,224
maybe they'll go easy on us.
Everybody, grab the rest of her.

185
00:12:02,874 --> 00:12:04,907
Hey, you better not be doing
anything weird in there.

186
00:12:05,399 --> 00:12:08,200
Primary social Protocol: a) I'm fine;
b) I'll be out in a minute
c) My Penis is caught in the bedspring

187
00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:11,473
My penis is caught
in the bedsprings.

188
00:12:12,824 --> 00:12:15,096
Okay. That's all right, then.

189
00:12:16,173 --> 00:12:18,906
Geez, whoever said "Die young
and leave a beautiful corpse"

190
00:12:18,949 --> 00:12:21,943
- never met this stiff.
- Chode, what do we do now?

191
00:12:21,973 --> 00:12:23,528
We gather every
shred of evidence,

192
00:12:23,558 --> 00:12:25,219
pore over every clue,

193
00:12:25,249 --> 00:12:28,740
go to any extreme necessary
to determine the perp's identity.

194
00:12:30,910 --> 00:12:31,939
What is it?

195
00:12:31,940 --> 00:12:35,662
It's a short, curly purple hair of
some sort. Probably the killer's.

196
00:12:35,905 --> 00:12:39,088
Or your own pubic hair, dumb ass!

197
00:12:39,118 --> 00:12:41,405
That's another theory
that deserves exploring.

198
00:12:41,448 --> 00:12:43,063
<i>Princess! Princess!</i>

199
00:12:43,386 --> 00:12:46,672
Princess, it's almost time
for your noon appearance.

200
00:12:46,995 --> 00:12:49,462
<i>Mein gott!
What has happened to the princess?</i>

201
00:12:50,748 --> 00:12:52,404
After a battery
of sophisticated tests,

202
00:12:52,447 --> 00:12:55,304
I've determined she
died of natural causes.

203
00:12:55,347 --> 00:12:56,828
But she's been cut to ribbons!

204
00:12:56,871 --> 00:12:59,005
Well, I mean, after
that, naturally, she died.

205
00:12:59,368 --> 00:13:02,270
For all our sakes,
no one must find out!

206
00:13:02,473 --> 00:13:04,828
I need time to sink.

207
00:13:05,441 --> 00:13:06,892
<i>Your Majesty?</i>

208
00:13:06,922 --> 00:13:09,121
God damn it!
I needed more time than that!

209
00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:10,595
It's noon, Your Highness.

210
00:13:10,838 --> 00:13:13,920
Time for you to greet
your loyal subjects.

211
00:13:13,963 --> 00:13:17,203
This is not time to fall
apart, Your Highness.

212
00:13:17,246 --> 00:13:18,346
Your public awaits.

213
00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:21,803
Pull yourself together.

214
00:13:22,206 --> 00:13:26,037
I know, Mother. I get my
sense of humor from you.

215
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:30,143
I'm brushing my teeth.
I'll be right out!

216
00:13:30,173 --> 00:13:31,179
You will?

217
00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:32,950
Well, please hurry.

218
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:35,926
Your subjects can't
wait to see you!

219
00:13:36,013 --> 00:13:39,118
And frankly, neither can I.

220
00:13:39,148 --> 00:13:41,559
"I'll be right out"?
Why'd you say that?

221
00:13:41,962 --> 00:13:45,859
If she doesn't show, the townspeople
will know immediately something is wrong.

222
00:13:45,982 --> 00:13:47,485
<i>Princess! Princess!</i>

223
00:13:47,848 --> 00:13:50,669
T'nuk, grab that head.
The princess will be right out.

224
00:13:56,006 --> 00:13:59,060
Acquiring Transportation
Acceptable

225
00:14:14,613 --> 00:14:16,636
The suckers are buying it.

226
00:14:16,860 --> 00:14:18,868
How can this be?
She's dead!

227
00:14:27,941 --> 00:14:30,900
Show's over, folks!
The princess is dead...

228
00:14:31,383 --> 00:14:32,622
tired.

229
00:14:32,652 --> 00:14:35,233
Hope to see you all
at the coronation.

230
00:14:35,276 --> 00:14:37,166
Free beer and pretzels!

231
00:14:39,301 --> 00:14:40,691
You two, come with me!

232
00:14:41,245 --> 00:14:44,890
I suspect the princess has
been the victim of "vowel" play.

233
00:14:44,933 --> 00:14:46,990
Sir, what exactly is"vowel" play?

234
00:14:47,033 --> 00:14:50,866
Don't nobody with a brain
understand the English?

235
00:14:52,946 --> 00:14:55,483
Okay. We need an escape plan.

236
00:14:56,053 --> 00:14:58,033
We're trapped!
We're not going anywhere!

237
00:14:58,556 --> 00:15:01,100
Nonsense!
You're going to certain death

238
00:15:01,143 --> 00:15:02,300
unless...

239
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:05,199
- Unless?
- No, no! It's too crazy,

240
00:15:05,242 --> 00:15:06,422
too far-fetched.

241
00:15:06,465 --> 00:15:09,983
It goes against all the
laws of nature and God!

242
00:15:10,093 --> 00:15:12,304
You're not talking about
my sex life, are you?

243
00:15:12,334 --> 00:15:14,455
No! I'm talking about bringing

244
00:15:14,618 --> 00:15:18,099
the dead princess back to life!

245
00:15:18,382 --> 00:15:19,832
Am I hearing you right?

246
00:15:20,115 --> 00:15:23,264
I don't know. When's the last
time you had your hearing tested?

247
00:15:23,587 --> 00:15:26,365
You really should take her to
the vet every once in a while.

248
00:15:27,731 --> 00:15:29,464
They're going to knock
down the door any minute.

249
00:15:29,507 --> 00:15:30,596
She's right.

250
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,963
Everyone grab a piece
of princess to go,

251
00:15:33,006 --> 00:15:35,330
and follow me through
the secret passageway.

252
00:15:35,653 --> 00:15:37,784
- Where does it lead?
- Let me guess.

253
00:15:37,814 --> 00:15:39,315
To a long-forgotten
laboratory

254
00:15:39,345 --> 00:15:41,981
where a mad scientist
once re-animated the dead?

255
00:15:42,011 --> 00:15:45,297
Does someone got that
women's intuition or what?

256
00:15:48,757 --> 00:15:50,730
I'll leave a note to
throw them off the scent.

257
00:15:52,176 --> 00:15:54,129
Break it down!

258
00:16:03,383 --> 00:16:05,920
Gone to the movies.
Double feature.

259
00:16:05,963 --> 00:16:09,680
Grabbing a bite after.
Don't wait up.

260
00:16:09,910 --> 00:16:11,287
Let's see.

261
00:16:11,317 --> 00:16:14,278
� The knee bone's
connected to the thigh bone

262
00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:17,352
� The thigh bone's
connected to the hip bone �

263
00:16:17,515 --> 00:16:20,362
Chode, you can't perform an
operation as complex as this.

264
00:16:20,485 --> 00:16:22,019
Well, not so fast.

265
00:16:22,062 --> 00:16:25,261
According to this Re-animating
the Dead for Dumb Asses book,

266
00:16:25,304 --> 00:16:26,752
it's not so hard.

267
00:16:26,795 --> 00:16:31,017
Okay, Six, plug in that electrical
V-shaped thing that goes "zizz."

268
00:16:31,047 --> 00:16:33,703
Gus, find me a giant
needle and thread.

269
00:16:33,813 --> 00:16:35,985
T'nuk, make sure
the moon roof opens.

270
00:16:36,588 --> 00:16:39,661
Whip, go over to that
shelf and grab me a brain.

271
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,079
Geniu: Albert Einstein

272
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:47,918
Careful, Whip!

273
00:16:48,281 --> 00:16:50,104
Don't worry.
There's another one.

274
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:51,536
Senator Diane Finestein...

275
00:16:51,566 --> 00:16:53,158
Mel Brookstein...

276
00:16:53,661 --> 00:16:55,406
Hearty Fiberstein.

277
00:17:15,561 --> 00:17:17,300
Chode McBlob
Located

278
00:17:23,137 --> 00:17:26,316
Hurry! The storm is
almost directly overhead.

279
00:17:29,578 --> 00:17:31,492
Raise the gurney!

280
00:17:39,412 --> 00:17:41,925
Give my creature life!

281
00:17:49,018 --> 00:17:51,542
What a pretty night
it turned out to be.

282
00:17:51,572 --> 00:17:54,283
Look, I don't need a pretty night.
I need fucking lightning!

283
00:17:54,353 --> 00:17:57,375
Is there any other source of
intense electricity around here?

284
00:17:57,485 --> 00:17:59,448
<i>Ja! I could divert
the electricity</i>

285
00:17:59,491 --> 00:18:01,290
from the entire
kingdom's power grid

286
00:18:01,333 --> 00:18:03,480
to the cables
you are holding...

287
00:18:03,523 --> 00:18:05,590
that is, if I can
reach the switch.

288
00:18:06,590 --> 00:18:08,123
You've got to try.

289
00:18:08,486 --> 00:18:09,671
Okay.

290
00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:22,408
Did you say something?

291
00:18:23,023 --> 00:18:24,846
Could you at least wait

292
00:18:24,889 --> 00:18:27,322
until I let go of the cables?

293
00:18:27,605 --> 00:18:28,990
My apologies.

294
00:18:29,353 --> 00:18:30,453
Okay, now.

295
00:18:45,202 --> 00:18:46,688
Bring us down!

296
00:18:52,608 --> 00:18:54,046
Love the hair.

297
00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:56,722
It's sort of Liza meets Lily Munster.

298
00:18:57,005 --> 00:18:58,855
Great job, everybody.

299
00:19:04,188 --> 00:19:05,645
My God!

300
00:19:05,688 --> 00:19:07,177
Look at this place!

301
00:19:07,220 --> 00:19:10,854
Don't tell me I'm playing
dinner theater in the Poconos.

302
00:19:10,897 --> 00:19:12,954
No, this is Slovinia.

303
00:19:12,997 --> 00:19:14,277
Slovinia?

304
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:17,623
I've opened out of town
before, but this is ridiculous.

305
00:19:17,693 --> 00:19:19,937
You were dead, and we
brought you back to life.

306
00:19:19,980 --> 00:19:22,454
Okay, now you're starting
to sound like my agent.

307
00:19:24,921 --> 00:19:26,411
I am so parched.

308
00:19:26,694 --> 00:19:29,353
Who does a queen have to do
to get a drink around here?

309
00:19:29,636 --> 00:19:32,886
Your Royal Highness,
welcome back.

310
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:34,243
Royal Highness?

311
00:19:34,286 --> 00:19:36,519
Let me explain, lady.

312
00:19:36,562 --> 00:19:37,910
Mister...

313
00:19:37,953 --> 00:19:40,271
whatever the hell team
you're playing for.

314
00:19:40,301 --> 00:19:43,853
Look, in this show, you play a
princess who gets crowned queen

315
00:19:43,896 --> 00:19:45,743
and lives happily ever after.

316
00:19:46,146 --> 00:19:48,947
Unless, of course, they
declare you a total weirdo

317
00:19:48,977 --> 00:19:51,643
and the fickle public
turns their back on you.

318
00:19:51,713 --> 00:19:53,834
You mean like Tom Cruise?

319
00:19:53,864 --> 00:19:57,155
There's an angry mob led by the
prime minister surrounding the castle.

320
00:19:57,185 --> 00:19:59,185
It sounds like he's whipping
them up into a frenzy.

321
00:20:01,352 --> 00:20:03,392
Not the face. Not the face!

322
00:20:03,475 --> 00:20:05,309
They have killed the princess.

323
00:20:05,352 --> 00:20:08,785
Sliced her up like a turkey
on Thanksgiving morning.

324
00:20:08,828 --> 00:20:12,951
I say we lynch them first and
ask intelligent questions later!

325
00:20:15,984 --> 00:20:18,167
I haven't seen critics
this out for blood

326
00:20:18,210 --> 00:20:20,347
since Puff Daddy did
Raisin in the Sun.

327
00:20:20,750 --> 00:20:23,808
You're going to have to go
down there and face the people!

328
00:20:23,851 --> 00:20:25,667
Let me know how
that turns out.

329
00:20:25,710 --> 00:20:27,441
Chode, we don't
have any choice.

330
00:20:27,484 --> 00:20:29,267
We've gotta escort
the princess out there

331
00:20:29,310 --> 00:20:31,051
and see if her subjects
will accept her...

332
00:20:31,094 --> 00:20:32,194
him.

333
00:20:32,331 --> 00:20:36,058
I gotta take a wicked leak.
Where's the men's room?

334
00:20:38,796 --> 00:20:41,900
Is anyone really stupid enough to
buy that big lug is the princess?

335
00:20:42,149 --> 00:20:45,149
Is that Princess
Babe-hot or what?

336
00:20:45,692 --> 00:20:46,792
Show's on.

337
00:20:51,364 --> 00:20:53,917
All hail the royal princess!

338
00:20:57,402 --> 00:20:58,861
Smile at the people.

339
00:21:02,243 --> 00:21:05,476
Watch where you're putting
that thing, you buggy-eyed ass!

340
00:21:05,506 --> 00:21:06,867
Wait a minute.

341
00:21:06,897 --> 00:21:08,675
Why is your voice so deep?

342
00:21:08,705 --> 00:21:11,234
Friday night's
my poker night.

343
00:21:11,264 --> 00:21:13,402
Too much booze and cigarettes.

344
00:21:13,512 --> 00:21:15,682
Well, that satisfied
my curiosity.

345
00:21:15,712 --> 00:21:17,322
I'm not buying it!

346
00:21:17,352 --> 00:21:20,971
If you're the princess, sing
the princess' favorite song.

347
00:21:27,688 --> 00:21:29,915
Sorry, just warming
up my instrument.

348
00:21:29,958 --> 00:21:31,453
Hit it, Frau!

349
00:21:32,948 --> 00:21:34,705
� I love Slovinia

350
00:21:34,748 --> 00:21:37,797
� In the summer
when it sizzles

351
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,343
� I love Slovinia
in the spring

352
00:21:40,386 --> 00:21:43,033
When the frigging
flowers bloom!

353
00:21:43,076 --> 00:21:45,637
� I love Slovinia
in the winter

354
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:49,180
� When it's snowing
and snowing and snowing

355
00:21:49,423 --> 00:21:52,103
You've got to admit, it snows
like a motherfuck around here!

356
00:21:52,346 --> 00:21:56,113
� But when you see
Slovinia in the fall

357
00:21:56,236 --> 00:21:58,747
� That's when I love Slovinia

358
00:21:58,790 --> 00:22:01,103
� When she loves Slovinia

359
00:22:01,146 --> 00:22:03,529
� That's when I love Slovinia

360
00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:06,292
� That's when
she loves Slovinia

361
00:22:06,335 --> 00:22:09,013
� That's when I love Slovinia

362
00:22:09,296 --> 00:22:13,579
� Most of al. �

363
00:22:17,919 --> 00:22:19,069
Not bad.

364
00:22:19,312 --> 00:22:21,161
We call it a backers audition.

365
00:22:21,324 --> 00:22:23,168
How much can I
put you down for?

366
00:22:23,211 --> 00:22:26,945
Put me down for one
pitchfork in the belly!

367
00:22:27,228 --> 00:22:29,178
Wait a minute. I say we
let the people decide.

368
00:22:29,421 --> 00:22:33,168
Would you like to continue to live
your lives in quiet desperation,

369
00:22:33,211 --> 00:22:36,445
living off the stale crumbs
from this tyrant's table,

370
00:22:36,648 --> 00:22:38,969
or have a fabulous queen

371
00:22:39,012 --> 00:22:41,612
who's going to put on
hit show after hit show

372
00:22:41,975 --> 00:22:45,477
and make this town a bundle off
busloads of out-of-town suckers.

373
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:50,471
Perhaps we could put on Hunchback
of Notre Dame, The Musical?

374
00:22:50,501 --> 00:22:52,881
Long live our drag queen!

375
00:22:52,924 --> 00:22:55,267
Hip-hip hurray!

376
00:22:55,310 --> 00:22:57,544
What a bunch of ingrates!

377
00:22:58,544 --> 00:22:59,543
<i>Hello?</i>

378
00:22:59,544 --> 00:23:02,943
Bob? You better be calling me to
tell me the transporter's fixed!

379
00:23:02,986 --> 00:23:06,198
I don't want to be doing
choreography for the rest of my days.

380
00:23:06,241 --> 00:23:07,633
Great!

381
00:23:07,676 --> 00:23:10,667
Beam Six and T'nuk aboard and
the rest of us down to Terra.

382
00:23:10,710 --> 00:23:12,743
I've still got a raunchy
birthday bash to organize.

383
00:23:12,786 --> 00:23:13,910
<i>Sign off.</i>

384
00:23:17,142 --> 00:23:19,176
I'm looking for Chode.

385
00:23:19,219 --> 00:23:21,967
He just took off.
But if you know him,

386
00:23:22,010 --> 00:23:24,910
you must be as big
an asshole as he is.

387
00:23:42,175 --> 00:23:43,318
What are you looking at?

388
00:23:43,355 --> 00:23:46,241
You better not be having
one of your oral fantasies.

389
00:23:46,284 --> 00:23:49,881
I'm merely trying to understand
how you can eat that garbage.

390
00:23:49,931 --> 00:23:52,331
I hear it contains rat parts.

391
00:23:52,374 --> 00:23:55,131
Chef Gay-ar-dee,
on this planet,

392
00:23:55,174 --> 00:23:58,140
baseball fans eat millions
of hot dogs every week,

393
00:23:58,183 --> 00:23:59,565
and that's good enough for me.

394
00:23:59,608 --> 00:24:02,841
Besides, they say rat
parts make you smart.

395
00:24:03,084 --> 00:24:06,510
Then please explain why Pittsburgh
Pirates fans keep showing up.

396
00:24:06,615 --> 00:24:09,307
Yeah, or how come you
couldn't figure out

397
00:24:09,350 --> 00:24:11,265
La Cage aux Poofter
was a gay bar.

398
00:24:11,584 --> 00:24:15,509
I told you, I thought Poofter
was foreign for snatch-a-roosky.

399
00:24:15,693 --> 00:24:19,074
I don't know why you didn't rent that
place. It looked perfectly fine to me.

400
00:24:19,157 --> 00:24:22,639
What? Fine. Excuse me if I don't
go into why I'm not surprised.

401
00:24:22,682 --> 00:24:26,800
I'll just repeat, no birthday bash of
mine is going to be held in a gay bar.

402
00:24:27,083 --> 00:24:28,644
Get off your soapbox.

403
00:24:28,687 --> 00:24:30,163
It's not even your birthday.

404
00:24:30,206 --> 00:24:32,230
Yeah, but my guests
don't know that.

405
00:24:32,273 --> 00:24:35,405
They also don't know they'll
have to cough up for parking,

406
00:24:35,448 --> 00:24:38,129
admission, exorbitant
prices for the booze

407
00:24:38,172 --> 00:24:41,778
and oh, did I mention my little
credit card scam on the side?

408
00:24:42,101 --> 00:24:43,161
Baby!

409
00:24:43,185 --> 00:24:44,696
I'm going to be
rolling in dough.

410
00:24:44,739 --> 00:24:46,339
What makes you think
they'll even show up?

411
00:24:46,382 --> 00:24:48,305
Well, because I
come up with a hook.

412
00:24:48,348 --> 00:24:50,077
Hey, check that place out!

413
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:53,314
I don't know, Uncle Chode.
That looks a little gay, too.

414
00:24:53,372 --> 00:24:56,557
Yeah, then why don't you drop your pants
and stick your ass through the door.

415
00:24:56,702 --> 00:24:59,279
If you haven't squealed in 30
seconds, the joint's straight.

416
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,567
Okay, let's go. The sooner
we get this over, the better.

417
00:25:01,661 --> 00:25:03,598
Relax. We got all night.

418
00:25:04,972 --> 00:25:06,361
Yeah.

419
00:25:06,404 --> 00:25:08,671
Why are you calling?
Something wrong on the ship?

420
00:25:08,714 --> 00:25:12,889
No, I just miss you, that's all, you
hunka hunk of burning testosterone.

421
00:25:12,913 --> 00:25:13,895
Where are you?

422
00:25:13,938 --> 00:25:16,038
Have you been sniffing
the ship's fumes?

423
00:25:16,081 --> 00:25:17,181
Don't be a silly-Billy.

424
00:25:17,204 --> 00:25:18,570
I'm just feeling
a little horny.

425
00:25:18,813 --> 00:25:21,437
Thought you might like to know
what I have in store for you.

426
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:22,761
Yeah?

427
00:25:22,804 --> 00:25:24,861
That thing with your tongue.

428
00:25:25,264 --> 00:25:28,837
What? You're gonna put
your index finger where?

429
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:29,836
How wonderful.

430
00:25:29,837 --> 00:25:32,060
His mother never
forgets to call.

431
00:25:32,183 --> 00:25:34,826
Hey, Six, I'm gonna be
back as soon as I can.

432
00:25:34,863 --> 00:25:37,604
I just gotta check out this
high... hair night club...

433
00:25:39,411 --> 00:25:41,458
Move it, you two!
We haven't got all night!

434
00:25:43,569 --> 00:25:45,949
Did you hear what that
fucking Pinocchio said?

435
00:25:46,056 --> 00:25:47,974
BUY ONE, GET ONE FOR FREE
Yeah, the fucking streets

436
00:25:47,998 --> 00:25:50,123
ain't safe for decent people no more.

437
00:26:00,469 --> 00:26:02,482
Okay, it's a deal, Gloria.

438
00:26:02,645 --> 00:26:05,627
I'll pay you 10% of the
take next Saturday night

439
00:26:05,708 --> 00:26:08,802
in exchange for the room
and your bartending services.

440
00:26:08,865 --> 00:26:09,901
Yeah.

441
00:26:12,135 --> 00:26:15,501
No guessing why this place is
called the High Hair Nightclub.

442
00:26:15,544 --> 00:26:17,635
What's that supposed to mean?

443
00:26:18,278 --> 00:26:19,223
Nothing.

444
00:26:19,266 --> 00:26:20,725
What a loser!

445
00:26:20,768 --> 00:26:23,442
Her head looks like an
explosion in a mattress factory.

446
00:26:23,645 --> 00:26:26,930
I like it. Her 'do is
reminiscent of Flock of Seagulls.

447
00:26:27,060 --> 00:26:30,334
Yeah, and a flock of
seagulls could nest in it.

448
00:26:30,377 --> 00:26:33,498
Gus, you're in charge of
designing the party invitations.

449
00:26:33,541 --> 00:26:36,934
Include a drawing for
a 5-meter surround sound

450
00:26:36,977 --> 00:26:39,267
3D, flat-screen
TV door prize,

451
00:26:39,310 --> 00:26:41,591
a/k/a, the hook.

452
00:26:41,634 --> 00:26:44,534
Whip, you e-mail the
invites to everybody we know

453
00:26:44,577 --> 00:26:48,118
except that fucking clown Bobo.
I've had it with that bastard.

454
00:26:49,766 --> 00:26:51,617
Geez, that was painful.

455
00:26:51,700 --> 00:26:54,375
I warned you about that hot
dog, but would you listen?

456
00:27:47,011 --> 00:27:52,084
"You went down for me. I'll
go down for you. Phone 555..."

457
00:27:52,263 --> 00:27:54,697
Where's that pencil?

458
00:27:59,730 --> 00:28:00,897
Damn faulty toilet.

459
00:28:03,477 --> 00:28:05,530
Jesus Christ, what a dump.

460
00:28:05,573 --> 00:28:07,053
Then wiggle your bum

461
00:28:07,096 --> 00:28:09,030
like you're pulling up
a pair of underpants.

462
00:28:09,073 --> 00:28:10,186
Like this?

463
00:28:10,229 --> 00:28:14,119
Hey, the light bulb in the can just
blew, and your crapper exploded.

464
00:28:14,162 --> 00:28:15,796
I'll need them
fixed for the party.

465
00:28:15,839 --> 00:28:17,486
Cool it, you two.

466
00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:19,729
The So You Think
You Can Dance tryouts

467
00:28:19,772 --> 00:28:20,929
aren't till next week.

468
00:28:20,972 --> 00:28:23,786
Hey, Six. Mission accomplished.
Get us out of here.

469
00:28:32,295 --> 00:28:33,914
I'm sorry, sir.
I didn't...

470
00:28:34,616 --> 00:28:35,759
Geez.

471
00:28:35,962 --> 00:28:38,628
You'll be beaming to
Fabula 7, no doubt.

472
00:28:38,671 --> 00:28:40,351
Fabula 7?

473
00:28:40,394 --> 00:28:43,004
The all fruit... gay planet.

474
00:28:43,079 --> 00:28:46,895
No! Transport me to Jupiter 42.

475
00:28:46,938 --> 00:28:49,575
Jupiter 42? That's a private ship.
You got permission?

476
00:28:49,618 --> 00:28:50,653
Permission?

477
00:28:50,659 --> 00:28:54,044
I ain't allowed to transport
anybody to a private address

478
00:28:54,154 --> 00:28:56,595
unless they've got
written permission.

479
00:28:56,638 --> 00:28:57,738
Sorry, Shirley.

480
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:01,813
I'll be back.

481
00:29:05,327 --> 00:29:07,643
Hey, what's your
fucking problem?

482
00:29:08,403 --> 00:29:09,994
I'll be back.

483
00:29:25,559 --> 00:29:28,893
<i>What? I didn't know docking with the mother
ship wasconsidered incest, Your Honor.</i>

484
00:29:58,258 --> 00:30:01,558
I'm com... I'm coming!

485
00:30:03,891 --> 00:30:06,084
That was wonderful, Chode.

486
00:30:06,367 --> 00:30:08,381
The best ever.

487
00:30:08,424 --> 00:30:11,437
Yeah, well. I really prepared
myself for tonight's session.

488
00:30:19,257 --> 00:30:21,414
You must be looking for Gus.

489
00:30:21,457 --> 00:30:24,157
He's the second door
down on the left.

490
00:30:29,143 --> 00:30:32,297
You must be looking for Gus.
He's down the hall on the right.

491
00:30:35,256 --> 00:30:38,856
Push me around, will ya?
Ya fuckin' clown!

492
00:30:38,899 --> 00:30:41,335
Chode, that clown looks insane.
Let's get out of...

493
00:30:44,222 --> 00:30:45,380
Run!

494
00:30:45,423 --> 00:30:48,108
Run! There's a psycho
trying to kill us!

495
00:30:48,231 --> 00:30:49,331
Us or you?

496
00:30:49,355 --> 00:30:51,522
Could you be more specific?
I need my beauty rest.

497
00:31:02,022 --> 00:31:04,845
Let me through!
I've got more to live for!

498
00:31:05,088 --> 00:31:07,788
I haven't even had oral sex yet!

499
00:31:08,031 --> 00:31:10,991
T'nuk! As your captain,
I order you to the back.

500
00:31:11,461 --> 00:31:14,821
There's no way he can shoot me
if your fat ass is in the way.

501
00:31:14,864 --> 00:31:17,142
Since you asked so nicely,

502
00:31:17,185 --> 00:31:19,421
get out of my fucking way!

503
00:31:28,554 --> 00:31:30,353
Hold your fire!

504
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,253
Does anyone hear anything?

505
00:31:45,386 --> 00:31:46,810
Sorry. The hot dog.

506
00:31:46,853 --> 00:31:50,160
Oh my. That thing, whatever
it is, is unstoppable.

507
00:31:50,363 --> 00:31:51,876
What are we going to do?

508
00:31:51,919 --> 00:31:53,902
I've been giving it some thought.

509
00:31:53,945 --> 00:31:57,525
This is no time to fall apart.
We go back a long way.

510
00:31:57,686 --> 00:32:00,819
If we stick together we'll
get through this okay.

511
00:32:00,862 --> 00:32:02,652
Well, that's a really
nice sentiment, T'nuk.

512
00:32:02,695 --> 00:32:05,175
I wasn't talking to you, dumb ass.

513
00:32:05,218 --> 00:32:08,819
I was about to suggest we
hand you over to the psycho

514
00:32:08,862 --> 00:32:10,609
so the rest of us can live.

515
00:32:10,652 --> 00:32:12,786
Hey! How do you know
it's me he's after?

516
00:32:12,829 --> 00:32:15,275
First he blasts your bed,

517
00:32:15,318 --> 00:32:17,585
then he tries to
kill you in Six' room.

518
00:32:17,628 --> 00:32:19,712
Who do you think he's after?

519
00:32:19,915 --> 00:32:22,074
Six? Jealous lover?

520
00:32:22,117 --> 00:32:24,351
Chode, you've programmed
me not to do clowns.

521
00:32:24,394 --> 00:32:26,808
Yeah, but you're an exception.

522
00:32:26,851 --> 00:32:29,052
Okay, so it might be me he's after,

523
00:32:29,095 --> 00:32:30,808
but if it was one of you,

524
00:32:30,851 --> 00:32:32,551
I'd stick by you
no matter what.

525
00:32:32,594 --> 00:32:34,718
Chode!

526
00:32:42,017 --> 00:32:44,116
Chode, we must
get off the ship.

527
00:32:55,116 --> 00:32:56,340
I don't get it.

528
00:32:56,383 --> 00:32:58,382
A bulletproof
clown on steroids

529
00:32:58,425 --> 00:32:59,573
tries to kill us.

530
00:32:59,616 --> 00:33:02,316
Now you show up
wearing ass floss.

531
00:33:02,359 --> 00:33:04,206
What the hell's going on?

532
00:33:04,249 --> 00:33:07,282
Firstly, I accept your
thanks for saving your life.

533
00:33:07,325 --> 00:33:08,816
And secondly, what's going on

534
00:33:08,859 --> 00:33:10,516
involves Chode, not you.

535
00:33:10,559 --> 00:33:12,087
Firstly, thanks.

536
00:33:12,130 --> 00:33:13,573
And secondly,

537
00:33:13,616 --> 00:33:17,416
you better talk, or I'll
tear you a new asshole.

538
00:33:19,481 --> 00:33:22,381
Can we try and survive
now and talk later?

539
00:33:25,049 --> 00:33:26,748
To the transporter room!

540
00:33:45,814 --> 00:33:46,938
Now what?

541
00:33:46,981 --> 00:33:49,014
I'm gonna get my
ass to the shuttle.

542
00:33:51,113 --> 00:33:52,146
But the others!

543
00:33:52,147 --> 00:33:53,964
Hey, it's not them
the thing is after.

544
00:33:54,007 --> 00:33:56,043
Right now, it's
every man for himself.

545
00:33:56,086 --> 00:33:58,080
Have I ever told
you you're my hero?

546
00:33:58,123 --> 00:34:00,604
Yahoo! We did it!

547
00:34:00,647 --> 00:34:03,846
We gave that crazy
motherfucker the slip!

548
00:34:08,580 --> 00:34:09,770
Beam me back down!

549
00:34:09,813 --> 00:34:11,379
No parla ingles, Monsieur.

550
00:34:11,422 --> 00:34:14,079
<i>Beamez-moi en port!</i>

551
00:34:14,122 --> 00:34:15,222
Merde!

552
00:34:32,412 --> 00:34:35,879
Hello? Mom? Can
you hear me? Hello!

553
00:34:37,178 --> 00:34:39,412
Nothing. It must have been
damaged when we landed.

554
00:34:39,455 --> 00:34:40,555
Do you have your communicator?

555
00:34:41,412 --> 00:34:42,444
No. You?

556
00:34:42,445 --> 00:34:44,302
No. I left it
on my nightstand.

557
00:34:44,345 --> 00:34:47,444
What kind of idiot leaves his
ship without his communicator?

558
00:34:47,487 --> 00:34:48,635
Don't rag on me, Chode.

559
00:34:48,678 --> 00:34:50,434
What with dismembered
princesses,

560
00:34:50,477 --> 00:34:53,101
shady nightclubs,
and homicidal maniacs,

561
00:34:53,144 --> 00:34:55,744
the last few days have
been the worst of my life.

562
00:34:55,787 --> 00:34:58,344
Seems somebody could use
a little R and R right now.

563
00:34:58,387 --> 00:35:00,544
And as luck would have
it, check that out.

564
00:35:00,587 --> 00:35:02,101
Chode, are you insane?

565
00:35:02,144 --> 00:35:04,811
The others could be in that
things clutches for all we know.

566
00:35:04,854 --> 00:35:06,201
Please tell me
you're not thinking

567
00:35:06,244 --> 00:35:07,878
of actually visiting
this den of iniquity

568
00:35:07,921 --> 00:35:09,033
at a time like this.

569
00:35:09,076 --> 00:35:12,176
Am I out of my mind?
Look who I'm talking to.

570
00:35:15,577 --> 00:35:17,893
Hey! Where are Gus
and Uncle Chode?

571
00:35:17,936 --> 00:35:20,209
Do you think the
clown got them?

572
00:35:20,252 --> 00:35:21,534
Who cares?

573
00:35:21,577 --> 00:35:24,977
I think our intrepid captain
left us to take the fall.

574
00:35:25,020 --> 00:35:26,120
No, wait. Look!

575
00:35:33,676 --> 00:35:35,709
He's still looking for him.
Chode must have escaped.

576
00:35:35,752 --> 00:35:37,342
There is no God.

577
00:35:42,642 --> 00:35:44,566
Can you help a fella out?

578
00:35:44,609 --> 00:35:47,976
I'm flat broke and in
desperate need of a lap dance.

579
00:35:48,019 --> 00:35:49,299
Well, consider this

580
00:35:49,342 --> 00:35:51,943
my random act of
kindness for the day.

581
00:35:55,441 --> 00:35:57,107
Not from you, Mary.

582
00:35:57,150 --> 00:35:58,465
Name's Bill.

583
00:35:58,508 --> 00:36:00,541
Offered the girls this
in lieu of Kroenigs,

584
00:36:00,584 --> 00:36:01,899
but had no takers.

585
00:36:01,942 --> 00:36:04,274
I'll sell it to
you for 20 Kroenigs.

586
00:36:04,317 --> 00:36:05,373
That should be enough

587
00:36:05,374 --> 00:36:07,042
to throw a little
party in my pants.

588
00:36:07,085 --> 00:36:08,398
What is it?

589
00:36:08,441 --> 00:36:10,508
Well, they take you
to the Champagne Room

590
00:36:10,551 --> 00:36:12,532
and do the old
bump-and-grind on your crotch.

591
00:36:12,575 --> 00:36:15,541
I was asking about the
medallion, you horny toad.

592
00:36:15,584 --> 00:36:18,464
I'm the only surviving
member of my expedition.

593
00:36:18,507 --> 00:36:21,007
We were searching for the
treasure of the Pyridians...

594
00:36:21,050 --> 00:36:22,006
Treasure?

595
00:36:22,007 --> 00:36:23,230
It was stolen and hidden

596
00:36:23,273 --> 00:36:25,607
somewhere in the jungle
many centuries ago.

597
00:36:25,650 --> 00:36:28,061
The key to the treasure
is on this planet.

598
00:36:28,104 --> 00:36:30,473
It not only reveals
the treasure's location,

599
00:36:30,516 --> 00:36:32,307
but also allows access to it.

600
00:36:32,350 --> 00:36:33,797
So where is thiskey?

601
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:36,296
That's the problem.
No one knows.

602
00:36:36,339 --> 00:36:38,796
But this medallion
will lead you to it.

603
00:36:38,839 --> 00:36:40,606
What kind of treasure
are we talking about here?

604
00:36:40,649 --> 00:36:42,496
The finder would be so rich,

605
00:36:42,539 --> 00:36:44,806
his toilet paper would
be made out of gold.

606
00:36:44,849 --> 00:36:45,939
Wouldn't that chafe?

607
00:36:45,940 --> 00:36:47,689
If this thing can
make you that wealthy,

608
00:36:47,732 --> 00:36:49,439
why are you sitting
here bumming a 20

609
00:36:49,482 --> 00:36:50,572
for a little tail-shaking?

610
00:36:50,573 --> 00:36:52,856
I said it would
lead you to the key.

611
00:36:52,899 --> 00:36:55,236
I said nothing about
it protecting you

612
00:36:55,279 --> 00:36:57,573
from the danger that
lurks along the way.

613
00:37:01,538 --> 00:37:03,538
Head for the third
sun on the right,

614
00:37:03,581 --> 00:37:05,595
due east, and pray,

615
00:37:05,638 --> 00:37:08,305
and hope that your
prayers are answered.

616
00:37:08,348 --> 00:37:09,529
Mine have been.

617
00:37:09,572 --> 00:37:12,071
Well, I've had my fun.

618
00:37:13,071 --> 00:37:14,595
I hear my pillow
calling my name.

619
00:37:14,638 --> 00:37:17,505
That's not your pillow,
that's the gold talking.

620
00:37:17,548 --> 00:37:19,562
Danger, shmanger!
We can do this.

621
00:37:19,605 --> 00:37:22,537
Am I going to have any success
getting your mind off this treasure

622
00:37:22,580 --> 00:37:24,060
and getting you
back aboard the ship?

623
00:37:24,103 --> 00:37:26,771
Have you ever noticed
you're the color of gold?

624
00:37:26,814 --> 00:37:28,609
I don't think
this is due east.

625
00:37:28,652 --> 00:37:30,361
Now you're sounding like Six.

626
00:37:30,404 --> 00:37:32,370
What the hell does
due east mean anyway?

627
00:37:36,203 --> 00:37:38,294
I swear that tree wasn't
there a second ago.

628
00:37:38,337 --> 00:37:41,170
One too many at
the juice bar, Gus?

629
00:37:41,213 --> 00:37:42,426
I only had one.

630
00:37:42,469 --> 00:37:45,169
And by the by, what
kind of juice was that?

631
00:37:45,212 --> 00:37:46,836
You don't want to
know, Gussie boy.

632
00:37:46,879 --> 00:37:48,026
You don't want to know.

633
00:37:48,069 --> 00:37:50,269
Umph! Okay, what's going on?

634
00:37:54,503 --> 00:37:56,369
I think I just rusted myself.

635
00:38:03,436 --> 00:38:04,536
This way!

636
00:38:12,435 --> 00:38:13,434
Six is right.

637
00:38:13,435 --> 00:38:15,135
Your sense of direction sucks.

638
00:38:16,535 --> 00:38:18,969
Excuse me, Butch.
Sundance is afraid of...

639
00:38:22,535 --> 00:38:26,067
You guys couldn't catch
herpes in a whorehouse.

640
00:38:26,110 --> 00:38:28,989
Oh, shit!

641
00:38:29,032 --> 00:38:31,868
Now what?

642
00:38:42,234 --> 00:38:43,935
I beg your pardon.

643
00:38:44,935 --> 00:38:46,324
I think I felt it move.

644
00:38:46,367 --> 00:38:47,967
It didn't move.
Just shut up already.

645
00:38:48,010 --> 00:38:49,033
<i>No, that.</i>

646
00:38:49,034 --> 00:38:50,190
What the hell?

647
00:38:50,233 --> 00:38:51,567
Maybe it's a lie detector.

648
00:38:52,900 --> 00:38:55,867
It's some sort of
crystal compass.

649
00:38:55,910 --> 00:38:57,824
You sure it's not Gaydar?

650
00:38:57,867 --> 00:38:59,991
That guy Bill was
a chicken shit.

651
00:39:00,034 --> 00:39:02,250
Get past those monsters,
and it's Froot Loops time.

652
00:39:02,293 --> 00:39:04,913
Follow your nose, baby.
Nothing to be afraid of.

653
00:39:04,956 --> 00:39:07,533
And I suppose that's
a Howard Johnson's.

654
00:39:07,576 --> 00:39:09,890
Don't judge a book
by its cover, Gus.

655
00:39:09,933 --> 00:39:12,582
It could be, like, a Vegas
theme hotel or something.

656
00:39:12,625 --> 00:39:15,232
<i>I don't remember an
Apocalypto hotel on the Strip.</i>

657
00:39:26,966 --> 00:39:29,198
Who did you say
was a chicken sh...

658
00:39:31,631 --> 00:39:34,032
This place reminds me of
one of those ancient ruins

659
00:39:34,075 --> 00:39:35,188
you'd see in the movies,

660
00:39:35,231 --> 00:39:36,581
where there'd
be an epic battle

661
00:39:36,624 --> 00:39:37,932
between two
ferocious monsters.

662
00:39:40,631 --> 00:39:42,221
I'm not going to keep playing

663
00:39:42,264 --> 00:39:44,898
if you keep throwing
paper every time.

664
00:39:44,941 --> 00:39:46,353
Then throw scissors.

665
00:39:46,396 --> 00:39:47,722
Then you'll do rock.

666
00:39:47,765 --> 00:39:50,998
Geez, Walter, that's
the friggin' game!

667
00:39:52,364 --> 00:39:53,564
Who there? Who there?

668
00:40:28,195 --> 00:40:29,529
Hey! Dude!

669
00:40:43,595 --> 00:40:45,628
Please, let this be it!

670
00:41:02,028 --> 00:41:03,551
Well, 3PO, you're the one

671
00:41:03,594 --> 00:41:05,811
with the tranlang
four-communicator module

672
00:41:05,854 --> 00:41:08,028
combined with a
double A-1 Verbobrain.

673
00:41:08,071 --> 00:41:09,417
What the hell does it say?

674
00:41:09,460 --> 00:41:11,694
That's just a golden
robot stereotype.

675
00:41:11,737 --> 00:41:13,498
Can you read it or not?

676
00:41:13,541 --> 00:41:15,260
Yes. Then read it.

677
00:41:18,761 --> 00:41:19,760
Out loud.

678
00:41:19,761 --> 00:41:22,126
It says "Push
Button for Treasure."

679
00:41:46,191 --> 00:41:48,759
This has got to be the next
piece of the puzzle, right?

680
00:41:48,802 --> 00:41:50,382
Unless it's some sort
of nuclear device.

681
00:41:50,425 --> 00:41:53,191
Can you at leastpretend
the glass is half full?

682
00:41:53,234 --> 00:41:54,746
Okay. Now what?

683
00:41:54,789 --> 00:41:56,307
What did Bill say?

684
00:41:56,350 --> 00:41:57,825
Remember to pray.

685
00:41:58,892 --> 00:42:01,315
God, Lord...

686
00:42:01,358 --> 00:42:03,392
What should I pray for?

687
00:42:03,435 --> 00:42:04,715
Treasure!

688
00:42:04,758 --> 00:42:06,858
I pray for lots
of treasure. Amen.

689
00:42:08,958 --> 00:42:10,281
That's funny. I could've sworn

690
00:42:10,324 --> 00:42:11,891
I've seen something
like that before.

691
00:42:11,934 --> 00:42:13,246
You have. It's the same shape

692
00:42:13,289 --> 00:42:14,515
as the medallion, you idiot.

693
00:42:14,558 --> 00:42:18,257
I know that. I was
just testing you.

694
00:42:38,957 --> 00:42:40,457
Step forward, please.

695
00:42:40,500 --> 00:42:41,914
Single file, no pushing.

696
00:42:41,957 --> 00:42:43,714
What the hell
is going on here?

697
00:42:43,757 --> 00:42:45,956
Please don't take
your anger out on me,

698
00:42:45,999 --> 00:42:48,155
I'm just a temp, hired
to provide slaves.

699
00:42:48,198 --> 00:42:49,254
Slaves?

700
00:42:49,255 --> 00:42:50,613
Yes. Mr. Big didn't want

701
00:42:50,656 --> 00:42:52,746
to get his hands dirty
with the day-to-day.

702
00:42:52,789 --> 00:42:56,122
Mr. Big? Is that just a
nickname, or is he really...

703
00:42:56,165 --> 00:42:58,289
He's the brains
behind this operation.

704
00:42:58,332 --> 00:42:59,923
Aren't we losing
the plot here?

705
00:42:59,966 --> 00:43:01,210
What about the treasure?

706
00:43:01,253 --> 00:43:02,412
Actually, we just need you

707
00:43:02,455 --> 00:43:04,771
for the discovery and
recovery of the key

708
00:43:04,814 --> 00:43:07,045
that opens the vault
containing the treasure.

709
00:43:07,088 --> 00:43:10,054
It was lost in one of
Pyridia's mines many moons ago.

710
00:43:10,097 --> 00:43:13,078
Ha ha ha. Okay, you got me.

711
00:43:13,121 --> 00:43:14,888
This is really one
of those stupid-assed

712
00:43:14,931 --> 00:43:16,821
Fox reality shows, isn't it?

713
00:43:19,154 --> 00:43:20,678
Consider what you've
been through today

714
00:43:20,721 --> 00:43:22,888
as kind of like getting
into a good college.

715
00:43:22,931 --> 00:43:24,588
Oof!

716
00:43:38,086 --> 00:43:39,186
Dig!

717
00:43:40,687 --> 00:43:42,620
There's no way I can
implement this tool

718
00:43:42,663 --> 00:43:44,344
without some kind of gloves.

719
00:43:44,387 --> 00:43:47,153
Hey Charlie, this
guy wants some gloves.

720
00:43:49,720 --> 00:43:51,120
Yes, thank you.

721
00:43:51,163 --> 00:43:52,520
That will do nicely.

722
00:43:57,686 --> 00:43:59,119
Thanks for the update, Bob.

723
00:43:59,162 --> 00:44:00,376
We'll stay down here

724
00:44:00,419 --> 00:44:03,052
in case that psycho
decides to beam back aboard.

725
00:44:03,095 --> 00:44:05,643
If Chode gets in touch,
tell him where we are.

726
00:44:05,686 --> 00:44:10,076
Yeah, get some rest, kiddo,
'cause when you wake up,

727
00:44:10,119 --> 00:44:12,676
you got a lot of
'splainin' to do.

728
00:44:12,719 --> 00:44:15,585
Come on you little green
asshole, we ain't got all day.

729
00:44:15,628 --> 00:44:16,728
I'm thinking.

730
00:44:16,752 --> 00:44:19,351
How do you manage
that without a brain?

731
00:44:19,394 --> 00:44:20,718
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

732
00:44:22,019 --> 00:44:25,251
You better be
spelling out "cunning."

733
00:44:27,184 --> 00:44:29,151
What the hell was that?

734
00:44:29,194 --> 00:44:31,251
Well, looky here!

735
00:44:33,518 --> 00:44:34,618
<i>Discovery!</i>

736
00:44:34,652 --> 00:44:36,118
<i>We have a discovery!</i>

737
00:44:41,851 --> 00:44:44,950
Yes, Mr. Big, I've got
it in my hand. What now?

738
00:44:44,993 --> 00:44:48,050
20% cut is a reasonable
reward, right, Gus?

739
00:44:48,093 --> 00:44:49,617
You'll get your
reward, all right...

740
00:44:49,660 --> 00:44:50,841
in heaven!

741
00:44:50,884 --> 00:44:53,384
Mr. Big said to throw them
back in the mine and seal it.

742
00:44:53,427 --> 00:44:55,851
What the f... Hey!

743
00:45:09,716 --> 00:45:11,340
Well, that's that.

744
00:45:11,383 --> 00:45:12,974
You can kiss my
shiny ass good-bye.

745
00:45:13,017 --> 00:45:15,650
If that doesn't make me want to
get out of here, nothing will.

746
00:45:22,649 --> 00:45:24,982
Gus! Load all that
dynamite into a hovercart.

747
00:45:57,447 --> 00:45:59,104
There's no way out!

748
00:45:59,147 --> 00:46:00,905
Will you hear my
confession before I die?

749
00:46:00,948 --> 00:46:03,447
Jenna Jameson's? Yes.
Yours? Not on your life.

750
00:46:12,346 --> 00:46:16,413
Yecch! First time, shame on
you. Second time, shame on me.

751
00:46:20,113 --> 00:46:21,313
Chode, let's get out of here.

752
00:46:21,356 --> 00:46:22,513
The sun was in this direction.

753
00:46:22,556 --> 00:46:23,837
Get a grip, Gussie.

754
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,213
There's something
we have to do first.

755
00:46:26,256 --> 00:46:28,002
But I thought... Chode McBlob,

756
00:46:28,045 --> 00:46:29,778
will you please tell
me what's going on?

757
00:46:29,821 --> 00:46:31,469
Are you telling me
that you swapped it

758
00:46:31,512 --> 00:46:33,612
for the key to the
lock on your porn stash?

759
00:46:33,655 --> 00:46:35,267
Relax. I got a duplicate.

760
00:46:35,310 --> 00:46:36,836
Besides, there's no way

761
00:46:36,879 --> 00:46:38,712
I'm going to walk away
from all that treasure.

762
00:46:38,755 --> 00:46:40,717
Now, all I have
to do is figure out

763
00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:42,536
how this key is going
to lead me to it.

764
00:46:42,579 --> 00:46:44,312
Probably got some kind
of magical element.

765
00:46:44,355 --> 00:46:46,603
An ancient spell...

766
00:46:46,646 --> 00:46:48,778
Hey! Look! There's a
little red button here.

767
00:46:49,978 --> 00:46:52,545
I just got chill bumps.

768
00:46:56,711 --> 00:47:00,034
Here you are, sir. The
key to the treasure.

769
00:47:00,077 --> 00:47:02,578
This isn't the key to the
treasure, you dunderfuck!

770
00:47:12,343 --> 00:47:14,011
What are you
waiting for, Chode?

771
00:47:14,054 --> 00:47:15,300
Stick it in.

772
00:47:15,343 --> 00:47:19,377
Gus, promise you'll never
say that to me again.

773
00:47:20,744 --> 00:47:23,310
<i>Two minutes till the
annihilation of Pyridia.</i>

774
00:47:23,353 --> 00:47:25,877
Holy shit! The fucking
thing's booby trapped!

775
00:47:28,810 --> 00:47:32,242
The treasure! The
fucking treasure!

776
00:47:32,285 --> 00:47:33,643
It's all yours!

777
00:47:33,686 --> 00:47:35,081
Shit!

778
00:47:44,342 --> 00:47:45,766
Good news, Chode.

779
00:47:45,809 --> 00:47:47,433
The radio is back
up and running,

780
00:47:47,476 --> 00:47:49,542
and I've made contact
with the others.

781
00:47:49,585 --> 00:47:51,609
We'll join them
in next to no time.

782
00:47:51,652 --> 00:47:52,900
Don't be so depressed.

783
00:47:52,943 --> 00:47:54,832
You may have missed
out on the treasure,

784
00:47:54,875 --> 00:47:57,298
but you'll always have
us, you faithful crew.

785
00:47:57,341 --> 00:48:00,275
You really know how rub salt
in the old wounds, don't you?

786
00:48:06,742 --> 00:48:09,108
Where were you two?
On your honeymoon?

787
00:48:09,151 --> 00:48:11,432
Don't ask. Any
sign of that clown?

788
00:48:11,475 --> 00:48:13,708
I think we've given it
the slip, Uncle Chode.

789
00:48:13,751 --> 00:48:15,941
And what the hell were
you doing on my ship?

790
00:48:15,984 --> 00:48:17,264
I beamed myself aboard.

791
00:48:17,307 --> 00:48:19,007
The dude at the
transporter boutique

792
00:48:19,050 --> 00:48:20,707
wasn't in much shape
to do it himself.

793
00:48:20,750 --> 00:48:22,364
I don't get it.

794
00:48:22,407 --> 00:48:23,997
Who is that crazy clown,

795
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:26,340
and why is he trying
to kill Uncle Chode?

796
00:48:26,383 --> 00:48:28,641
You're not going to
believe me if I tell you.

797
00:48:28,684 --> 00:48:29,737
Try us, kid.

798
00:48:29,738 --> 00:48:30,706
The other night,

799
00:48:30,707 --> 00:48:32,190
my folks were in bed talking.

800
00:48:32,233 --> 00:48:33,674
I was listening by the wall.

801
00:48:33,717 --> 00:48:34,865
My dad had just...

802
00:48:34,908 --> 00:48:36,924
Do you always listen
to your parents

803
00:48:36,967 --> 00:48:38,940
when they're in bed,
you little pervert?

804
00:48:38,983 --> 00:48:40,071
Well, I...

805
00:48:40,072 --> 00:48:41,897
Hey! Do you want to
hear my story or not?

806
00:48:41,940 --> 00:48:44,373
Yeah. Button your pie hole,
T'nuk. Let the kid speak.

807
00:48:44,416 --> 00:48:47,007
Like I said, my
dad had just...

808
00:48:47,050 --> 00:48:48,330
Were they talking dirty?

809
00:48:48,373 --> 00:48:52,530
You know, using words
like cornhole, ream, suck?

810
00:48:52,573 --> 00:48:56,373
Listen up! My dad had just
returned from Bobo's mansion,

811
00:48:56,416 --> 00:48:58,773
he'd been there answering
a domestic dispute call.

812
00:48:58,816 --> 00:49:01,262
You little slut!

813
00:49:01,305 --> 00:49:04,438
I should have had you
fixed the day you were born.

814
00:49:04,481 --> 00:49:07,038
You're going to get
rid of it, or else.

815
00:49:07,081 --> 00:49:08,295
Shove it, Pop!

816
00:49:08,338 --> 00:49:09,963
Don't tell me to shove it,

817
00:49:10,006 --> 00:49:13,705
or I'll put my size
24 boot up your ass!

818
00:49:13,748 --> 00:49:16,272
How could you have
done this to me?

819
00:49:16,315 --> 00:49:18,696
You, you harlot!

820
00:49:18,739 --> 00:49:20,929
Okay, okay, cool it, you two!

821
00:49:20,972 --> 00:49:23,137
We've been getting complaints
from all over this zone.

822
00:49:23,180 --> 00:49:25,328
Relax, Commander.

823
00:49:25,371 --> 00:49:28,204
My husband's just trying
to bond with his daughter.

824
00:49:28,247 --> 00:49:30,275
And you can keep
your trap shut!

825
00:49:30,318 --> 00:49:32,261
I blame you for all of this.

826
00:49:32,304 --> 00:49:34,971
Your daughter can't
help being a tramp.

827
00:49:35,014 --> 00:49:37,237
It runs in your family!

828
00:49:41,070 --> 00:49:42,871
All right, what's
this all about?

829
00:49:42,914 --> 00:49:44,525
It seems our daughter'sgone

830
00:49:44,568 --> 00:49:46,093
and got herself pregnant.

831
00:49:46,136 --> 00:49:47,861
You don't know
the worst of it.

832
00:49:47,904 --> 00:49:52,436
That dirty purple shit
Chode is responsible.

833
00:49:52,479 --> 00:49:54,760
When I get my hands on him,

834
00:49:54,803 --> 00:49:57,670
I'll ram a party
favor down his throat

835
00:49:57,713 --> 00:49:59,861
and blow it out his anus!

836
00:49:59,904 --> 00:50:02,903
When did this alleged act
of penetration take place?

837
00:50:02,946 --> 00:50:05,903
A couple of months ago
at Chode's birthday party.

838
00:50:05,946 --> 00:50:07,526
I don't want to hear any more!

839
00:50:07,569 --> 00:50:10,636
She got drunk and did it
with him in a washroom stall.

840
00:50:10,679 --> 00:50:14,402
When I think of that
disgusting pile of excrement

841
00:50:14,445 --> 00:50:16,459
with my little girl.

842
00:50:16,502 --> 00:50:19,936
And now she refuses to
terminate the bastard.

843
00:50:19,979 --> 00:50:21,636
If you don't mind
me saying, Bernice,

844
00:50:21,679 --> 00:50:23,226
you're taking
this pretty well.

845
00:50:23,269 --> 00:50:27,068
That's because, unlike
my loser husband,

846
00:50:27,111 --> 00:50:29,325
I've taken steps to ensure

847
00:50:29,368 --> 00:50:33,635
the vile act of copulation
never takes place.

848
00:50:33,678 --> 00:50:34,959
Wh...What? What do you mean?

849
00:50:35,002 --> 00:50:38,401
Remember that combat android
you constructed last year?

850
00:50:38,444 --> 00:50:41,925
The Arnie 1000. Sure I do.

851
00:50:41,968 --> 00:50:45,735
The first time I programmed
it to fight the Gleopadians,

852
00:50:45,778 --> 00:50:49,339
some grunt lobs a grenade
at it and destroys it.

853
00:50:49,382 --> 00:50:52,858
News bulletin, bonehead.
It wasn't destroyed.

854
00:50:52,901 --> 00:50:56,901
Seems for once in your miserable
life you exceeded yourself.

855
00:50:56,944 --> 00:50:59,033
The thing's indestructible.

856
00:50:59,076 --> 00:51:00,457
Well, where is it?

857
00:51:00,500 --> 00:51:02,924
Right now it's two
months in the past.

858
00:51:02,967 --> 00:51:05,800
I hope you didn't use a
Federation Time Displacer.

859
00:51:05,843 --> 00:51:06,954
That's not allowed.

860
00:51:06,997 --> 00:51:08,065
So's doing my daughter!

861
00:51:08,066 --> 00:51:11,466
The bitch refuses to
terminate Chode's spawn,

862
00:51:11,509 --> 00:51:13,566
so I've programmed
it to terminate Chode

863
00:51:13,609 --> 00:51:15,189
before he does her.

864
00:51:15,232 --> 00:51:18,165
Bernice, that was
sneaky, underhanded,

865
00:51:18,208 --> 00:51:20,823
cold-blooded, and vicious.

866
00:51:20,866 --> 00:51:24,032
I knew there was some
reason I married you.

867
00:51:24,075 --> 00:51:27,199
Cut the shit! You married
me for my Kroenigs!

868
00:51:27,242 --> 00:51:29,337
Aw, shut your gob, you bitch!

869
00:51:29,380 --> 00:51:31,389
bitch, bitch, bitch...

870
00:51:31,432 --> 00:51:33,999
So you've also transported
back from the future.

871
00:51:34,042 --> 00:51:35,455
Is that why you're naked?

872
00:51:35,498 --> 00:51:37,598
You can't use the Federation
Time Displacer wearing clothes?

873
00:51:37,641 --> 00:51:40,198
Not really. It's
gratuitous nudity.

874
00:51:40,241 --> 00:51:41,536
Tell me about it.

875
00:51:41,579 --> 00:51:42,789
You gotta help me.

876
00:51:42,832 --> 00:51:43,988
You have to get Bernice

877
00:51:44,031 --> 00:51:46,131
to call that thing
off, I'm begging you.

878
00:51:46,174 --> 00:51:48,188
If you promise not
to screw Babette,

879
00:51:48,231 --> 00:51:50,465
I'll return to the
future and tell Bernice.

880
00:51:50,508 --> 00:51:52,131
I'm sure she'll deprogram it.

881
00:51:52,174 --> 00:51:53,422
I promise.

882
00:51:53,465 --> 00:51:55,430
Okay. Wish me luck.

883
00:51:58,364 --> 00:51:59,788
Wait, I hadn't finished.

884
00:51:59,831 --> 00:52:01,531
I promise to
stick it to Babette

885
00:52:01,574 --> 00:52:03,154
until her eyeballs pop.

886
00:52:03,197 --> 00:52:05,531
Chode, are you crazy?
That android will kill you.

887
00:52:05,574 --> 00:52:07,069
But you heard the kid.

888
00:52:07,112 --> 00:52:08,521
Bernice will call it off.

889
00:52:08,564 --> 00:52:10,914
And if you guys think
I'm going to pass up

890
00:52:10,957 --> 00:52:13,264
this opportunity to
drive Bobo up the wall,

891
00:52:13,307 --> 00:52:14,688
you're the crazy one.

892
00:52:14,731 --> 00:52:17,147
Besides, that Babette's
one sweet piece of ass.

893
00:52:17,190 --> 00:52:19,563
Chode, what if Adam 12
can't convince Bernice

894
00:52:19,606 --> 00:52:20,820
to stop that thing?

895
00:52:20,863 --> 00:52:22,463
She's not exactly
Miss Congeniality.

896
00:52:22,506 --> 00:52:23,887
Yeah, you might have a point.

897
00:52:23,930 --> 00:52:25,679
I suppose it wouldn't
hurt to lie low

898
00:52:25,722 --> 00:52:27,429
for a little while
until the party.

899
00:52:27,472 --> 00:52:29,053
Right?

900
00:52:29,096 --> 00:52:31,720
<i>My name is Alice Marie.</i>

901
00:52:31,763 --> 00:52:34,463
<i>Nothing strange has
ever happened in my life.</i>

902
00:52:34,506 --> 00:52:35,854
<i>That is, until recently.</i>

903
00:52:35,897 --> 00:52:38,062
<i>That was when I
went in to my bedroom</i>

904
00:52:38,105 --> 00:52:39,586
<i>and retrieved an old revolver</i>

905
00:52:39,629 --> 00:52:41,328
<i>that hadn't been
used in years.</i>

906
00:52:42,395 --> 00:52:44,662
Goddamn fucking piece of shit!

907
00:52:49,862 --> 00:52:52,362
Alice certainly had
a beautiful funeral.

908
00:52:52,405 --> 00:52:53,695
Yes. Yes.

909
00:52:55,328 --> 00:52:56,845
Except when that whore Deirdre

910
00:52:56,888 --> 00:52:58,591
grabbed her husband's ass.

911
00:52:58,634 --> 00:53:00,480
I'm really going to miss her.

912
00:53:00,523 --> 00:53:02,284
She had so many
good qualities.

913
00:53:02,327 --> 00:53:04,451
I'll even miss
Alice's bad qualities.

914
00:53:04,494 --> 00:53:06,661
Remember she tended to
be a little paranoid.

915
00:53:06,704 --> 00:53:07,804
And she was bigoted.

916
00:53:07,837 --> 00:53:09,032
And a snob.

917
00:53:09,075 --> 00:53:10,184
And irrational.

918
00:53:10,227 --> 00:53:12,127
<i>A funny thing
happens when you die.</i>

919
00:53:12,170 --> 00:53:13,384
<i>Your body is gone,</i>

920
00:53:13,427 --> 00:53:15,628
<i>but you can still see
and hear everything.</i>

921
00:53:15,671 --> 00:53:17,451
<i>What a bunch of bitches.</i>

922
00:53:17,494 --> 00:53:19,410
Hey, there's that
strange family

923
00:53:19,453 --> 00:53:21,439
that moved in next
to Alice's place.

924
00:53:21,482 --> 00:53:23,426
They've sure been
keeping to themselves.

925
00:53:23,469 --> 00:53:24,894
Where do you
think they're from?

926
00:53:24,937 --> 00:53:26,517
Probably Africa.

927
00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:29,010
They've brought their
wildebeest with them.

928
00:53:29,053 --> 00:53:31,460
This may sound weird,
but I've been without,

929
00:53:31,503 --> 00:53:34,081
um, male companionship
for so long,

930
00:53:34,124 --> 00:53:36,660
even that disgusting
fat, purple one

931
00:53:36,703 --> 00:53:38,460
is beginning to look good.

932
00:53:38,503 --> 00:53:39,851
I hear you, sister.

933
00:53:39,894 --> 00:53:42,627
My dear old hubby spends
so much time working,

934
00:53:42,670 --> 00:53:44,225
I'm ready to date a banana.

935
00:53:46,526 --> 00:53:49,292
No wonder that broad
next door shot herself.

936
00:53:49,335 --> 00:53:51,092
This place is so boring.

937
00:53:51,135 --> 00:53:52,091
I agree.

938
00:53:52,092 --> 00:53:53,249
The flesh-burning puss swamp

939
00:53:53,292 --> 00:53:55,492
controlled by the
scab-infested anus rapers

940
00:53:55,535 --> 00:53:57,649
on Planet Vomiteria
look good right now.

941
00:53:57,692 --> 00:54:01,692
Only a complete idiot could
be happy living in this 'burb.

942
00:54:01,735 --> 00:54:04,325
Wow! There's some really
cool video games here.

943
00:54:04,368 --> 00:54:05,815
I just broke the
all-time record

944
00:54:05,858 --> 00:54:09,157
for hours logged on to
Universe of War Craft.

945
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:10,579
I rest my case.

946
00:54:14,091 --> 00:54:15,625
<i>� I like to be here</i>

947
00:54:17,191 --> 00:54:20,291
<i>� Here on the sidewalk</i>

948
00:54:22,458 --> 00:54:25,791
<i>� Watching you,
baby, move it so sexy</i>

949
00:54:25,834 --> 00:54:27,891
<i>� I can feel the desire</i>

950
00:54:30,524 --> 00:54:33,180
<i>� You look at me</i>

951
00:54:33,223 --> 00:54:36,857
<i>� Your eyes are on fire</i>

952
00:54:38,257 --> 00:54:40,247
Chode, what are you thinking?

953
00:54:40,290 --> 00:54:41,657
I'm thinking that if
I'm ever reincarnated,

954
00:54:41,700 --> 00:54:43,223
I'd like to come
back as that car.

955
00:54:43,266 --> 00:54:44,980
Chode, don't even consider

956
00:54:45,023 --> 00:54:46,547
fooling around
while we're here.

957
00:54:46,590 --> 00:54:48,390
We don't want to draw
attention to ourselves.

958
00:54:48,433 --> 00:54:50,256
Or do you want to
end up as a corpse?

959
00:54:50,299 --> 00:54:51,623
Or a prison bitch
for 30 years?

960
00:54:51,666 --> 00:54:53,644
Nix the prison bitch talk.

961
00:54:53,687 --> 00:54:55,623
Here come the local natives.

962
00:54:55,666 --> 00:54:57,146
Hi, there, neighbors.

963
00:54:57,189 --> 00:54:58,990
We noticed you moving in.

964
00:54:59,033 --> 00:55:00,133
I'm Sue Anne.

965
00:55:00,154 --> 00:55:01,621
I'm Danielle.

966
00:55:01,664 --> 00:55:03,089
And I'm horny.

967
00:55:06,155 --> 00:55:09,789
Sue Anne, Danielle, Horny.

968
00:55:09,832 --> 00:55:10,932
I'm Ch...

969
00:55:10,953 --> 00:55:12,045
Chance.

970
00:55:12,046 --> 00:55:13,053
I'm Chance.

971
00:55:13,054 --> 00:55:14,579
They're a bunch
of nobody-losers

972
00:55:14,622 --> 00:55:16,889
who cannot hold any
possible interest for you.

973
00:55:16,932 --> 00:55:18,643
Chance, I was wondering.

974
00:55:18,686 --> 00:55:20,312
Have you seen my pussy?

975
00:55:20,355 --> 00:55:22,455
No, but the night
is still young.

976
00:55:22,498 --> 00:55:23,712
Chance!

977
00:55:23,755 --> 00:55:26,889
Here it is.

978
00:55:29,588 --> 00:55:31,922
Chance? What do you
think of my hooters?

979
00:55:31,965 --> 00:55:33,854
They're magnificent.

980
00:55:33,897 --> 00:55:35,220
Chance!

981
00:55:36,254 --> 00:55:39,177
No, silly, up there.

982
00:55:39,220 --> 00:55:41,270
Hey! Want to see my ass?

983
00:55:41,313 --> 00:55:43,320
You have a donkey?

984
00:55:43,363 --> 00:55:45,344
No. An ass.

985
00:55:45,387 --> 00:55:47,811
Why don't you all kiss it!

986
00:55:47,854 --> 00:55:51,187
Whoa! I've seen smaller
cracks on a fault line.

987
00:56:13,953 --> 00:56:15,109
I virtually threw myself

988
00:56:15,152 --> 00:56:17,285
at that miserable
mauve motherfucker,

989
00:56:17,328 --> 00:56:19,418
and he still hasn't
come sniffing around.

990
00:56:19,461 --> 00:56:21,218
Perhaps I was too subtle.

991
00:56:21,261 --> 00:56:22,217
Yeah.

992
00:56:22,218 --> 00:56:23,719
"Have you seen my pussy?"

993
00:56:23,762 --> 00:56:24,876
Really subtle.

994
00:56:24,919 --> 00:56:26,919
If you insist on
jumping his bones,

995
00:56:26,962 --> 00:56:28,209
why don't you throw

996
00:56:28,252 --> 00:56:29,685
a "welcome to the
neighborhood" party?

997
00:56:29,728 --> 00:56:31,952
Hey, that's a great idea.

998
00:56:31,995 --> 00:56:33,142
Where? When?

999
00:56:33,185 --> 00:56:35,185
Why not here, tonight?

1000
00:56:35,228 --> 00:56:36,676
I have an idea.

1001
00:56:36,719 --> 00:56:39,185
Ron always liked my
Lobster Thermador.

1002
00:56:39,228 --> 00:56:41,672
All I need is 3 pounds
of cheddar cheese,

1003
00:56:41,715 --> 00:56:44,117
nutmeg, six bottles
of dry white wine,

1004
00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:45,116
a dozen lobsters,

1005
00:56:45,117 --> 00:56:46,475
and 30 gallons
of boiling water.

1006
00:56:46,518 --> 00:56:47,934
<i>Is it any wonder
why her husband</i>

1007
00:56:47,977 --> 00:56:49,351
<i>had a fucking heart attack?</i>

1008
00:56:51,584 --> 00:56:55,084
I hear the dead woman's
husband next door left town.

1009
00:56:55,127 --> 00:56:56,308
Smart guy.

1010
00:56:56,351 --> 00:56:59,718
Aren't you curious as to
why she killed herself?

1011
00:56:59,761 --> 00:57:02,155
We should take a look around.

1012
00:57:02,198 --> 00:57:04,550
Geez, why don't you
marry a Spice Girl

1013
00:57:04,593 --> 00:57:06,371
and sign for the L.A. Galaxy?

1014
00:57:06,414 --> 00:57:08,415
Oh, dear. Now I'll have to climb

1015
00:57:08,458 --> 00:57:10,416
over the fence
and get it back.

1016
00:57:32,048 --> 00:57:33,549
If I stay around
here much longer,

1017
00:57:33,592 --> 00:57:34,749
I'm going to kill something.

1018
00:57:34,792 --> 00:57:35,906
If you don't stay,

1019
00:57:35,949 --> 00:57:37,473
you might be the
one getting killed.

1020
00:57:37,516 --> 00:57:39,616
I'm willing to re-enter
the civilized world

1021
00:57:39,659 --> 00:57:41,005
and take my chances.

1022
00:57:41,048 --> 00:57:43,115
There's no way that
assassin will ever find me,

1023
00:57:43,158 --> 00:57:45,114
and if he does,
I'll kick his ass!

1024
00:57:52,615 --> 00:57:55,314
It's the babe from
across the street.

1025
00:57:56,414 --> 00:57:58,338
Hello again, Chance.

1026
00:57:58,381 --> 00:58:00,147
I've just dropped
by to invite you

1027
00:58:00,190 --> 00:58:01,572
over for a welcoming party.

1028
00:58:01,615 --> 00:58:04,648
One moment.
I'll consult my friends.

1029
00:58:04,691 --> 00:58:06,771
Please, Six!

1030
00:58:06,814 --> 00:58:08,413
Let me go. I'll be good.

1031
00:58:08,456 --> 00:58:10,103
I promise. Please!

1032
00:58:10,146 --> 00:58:11,580
It'll be safer
if we come along.

1033
00:58:11,623 --> 00:58:12,579
Thank you.

1034
00:58:12,580 --> 00:58:14,330
Are my friends invited?

1035
00:58:14,373 --> 00:58:16,037
If they're not, who cares?

1036
00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:18,447
I'll just tell them they
are and ditch them later.

1037
00:58:18,490 --> 00:58:20,037
Of course they're invited

1038
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:22,380
except for the ugly fat
one with the big ass.

1039
00:58:22,423 --> 00:58:23,747
Deal! What time
should we be there?

1040
00:58:23,790 --> 00:58:24,904
Anytime you're ready.

1041
00:58:24,947 --> 00:58:27,046
The front door is always open,

1042
00:58:27,089 --> 00:58:29,145
or you can go
around to the back

1043
00:58:29,188 --> 00:58:31,145
and enter that way.

1044
00:58:33,412 --> 00:58:36,146
And don't worry.
We're harmless.

1045
00:58:36,189 --> 00:58:38,484
"They are all stupid, shallow,

1046
00:58:38,527 --> 00:58:40,779
"and I believe quite insane.

1047
00:58:40,822 --> 00:58:42,351
I fear for my life."

1048
00:58:42,394 --> 00:58:43,837
Holy shit!

1049
00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:46,379
Those crazy
housewives killed her!

1050
00:58:46,422 --> 00:58:49,079
Hey, you'll never...

1051
00:58:53,044 --> 00:58:54,345
Damn!

1052
00:58:56,545 --> 00:58:59,478
Don't forget to
use your aliases.

1053
00:58:59,521 --> 00:59:00,611
Hi, neighbors.

1054
00:59:00,612 --> 00:59:02,311
Glad you could make
our little party.

1055
00:59:02,354 --> 00:59:03,410
Come on in.

1056
00:59:03,411 --> 00:59:05,645
And no hanky panky.

1057
00:59:05,688 --> 00:59:06,644
I promise.

1058
00:59:06,645 --> 00:59:07,979
Are you crossing your fingers?

1059
00:59:08,022 --> 00:59:09,411
Of course not.

1060
00:59:12,670 --> 00:59:15,544
So! Throw a party
and not invite me?

1061
00:59:15,587 --> 00:59:17,878
Well, nobody kisses
off Deirdre Clit

1062
00:59:17,921 --> 00:59:19,744
and gets away with it.

1063
00:59:22,978 --> 00:59:26,277
Yes. I think I have.

1064
00:59:27,978 --> 00:59:29,744
Look who's here, everyone.

1065
00:59:29,787 --> 00:59:31,110
Our new neighbors.

1066
00:59:31,153 --> 00:59:32,334
Hi, Chance.

1067
00:59:32,377 --> 00:59:34,610
We didn't catch yournames.

1068
00:59:34,653 --> 00:59:36,843
Hi, ladies. I'm Wally.

1069
00:59:36,886 --> 00:59:37,940
Who cares?

1070
00:59:37,941 --> 00:59:38,909
I'm Seven.

1071
00:59:38,910 --> 00:59:41,059
We all lie about
our ages, honey,

1072
00:59:41,102 --> 00:59:43,205
but aren't you
stretching it a bit?

1073
00:59:43,248 --> 00:59:45,266
And I'm Guffman.
I'm a 500k model.

1074
00:59:45,309 --> 00:59:47,443
You shouldn't sell
yourself short, Guffman.

1075
00:59:47,486 --> 00:59:49,133
Danielle used to be a model,

1076
00:59:49,176 --> 00:59:51,743
and she'd charge a
lot more than 500K.

1077
00:59:51,786 --> 00:59:53,042
I beg your pardon.

1078
00:59:53,910 --> 00:59:55,266
I'll get it!

1079
00:59:55,309 --> 00:59:56,475
Can I get you guys a drink?

1080
00:59:56,518 --> 00:59:57,833
Tie me to the bedpost.

1081
00:59:57,876 --> 01:00:00,041
That's vodka,
rum, melon liquor,

1082
01:00:00,084 --> 01:00:01,632
and sour mix, right?

1083
01:00:01,675 --> 01:00:04,308
No, tie me to the
bedpost. Really.

1084
01:00:04,351 --> 01:00:06,732
I'm looking for my friends.

1085
01:00:06,775 --> 01:00:08,008
I don't believe
you were invited.

1086
01:00:09,008 --> 01:00:10,909
Oh, my God! I'm too late!

1087
01:00:12,275 --> 01:00:14,642
What have you done,
you crazy bitch!

1088
01:00:14,685 --> 01:00:16,232
Get a grip, Cujo!

1089
01:00:16,275 --> 01:00:17,758
What are you talking about?

1090
01:00:17,801 --> 01:00:19,241
Quit blowing smoke up my ass.

1091
01:00:19,284 --> 01:00:20,512
I heard a scream.

1092
01:00:20,555 --> 01:00:21,698
It's the lobsters.

1093
01:00:21,741 --> 01:00:23,841
I just put them in the water.

1094
01:00:23,884 --> 01:00:25,941
Yeah? Then where's Chance?

1095
01:00:27,875 --> 01:00:30,708
Strange. He and Sue Anne
were here a moment a...

1096
01:00:31,708 --> 01:00:33,574
Chance? You
better not be doing

1097
01:00:33,617 --> 01:00:34,717
what I think you're doing.

1098
01:00:37,641 --> 01:00:39,331
Whoa!

1099
01:00:39,374 --> 01:00:40,996
Come on, get 'em off,

1100
01:00:41,039 --> 01:00:43,640
you sexy orb of
purple Play-Doh.

1101
01:00:43,683 --> 01:00:45,130
I'm trying!

1102
01:00:45,173 --> 01:00:47,573
But you'll have to
remove that finger first.

1103
01:00:47,616 --> 01:00:48,606
Chance? Where are you?

1104
01:00:48,607 --> 01:00:50,090
I can't be found like this!

1105
01:00:50,133 --> 01:00:51,573
What is it with that woman?

1106
01:00:51,616 --> 01:00:52,963
She's just jealous.

1107
01:00:53,006 --> 01:00:54,356
I mean, who could blame her.

1108
01:00:54,399 --> 01:00:55,707
Quick, think up a story.

1109
01:00:58,306 --> 01:00:59,339
Where is he?

1110
01:00:59,340 --> 01:01:00,831
I don't know what you mean.

1111
01:01:00,874 --> 01:01:03,323
I just came in
here for a lie-down.

1112
01:01:03,366 --> 01:01:05,772
My menstrual cramps
hurt like hell.

1113
01:01:09,205 --> 01:01:10,962
Hey, sweetheart.

1114
01:01:11,005 --> 01:01:13,405
Looking for a little action?

1115
01:01:13,448 --> 01:01:15,627
Chode? Is that you?

1116
01:01:15,670 --> 01:01:17,763
Forget Chode, baby.

1117
01:01:17,806 --> 01:01:20,839
He can't do with his
tongue what I can.

1118
01:01:20,882 --> 01:01:22,843
Whip! You're drunk.

1119
01:01:22,886 --> 01:01:24,762
Not that drunk.

1120
01:01:24,805 --> 01:01:27,705
And this was me at the
office a few years ago.

1121
01:01:27,748 --> 01:01:29,872
I was high up on
the corporate ladder.

1122
01:01:29,915 --> 01:01:31,015
You were a window cleaner?

1123
01:01:31,037 --> 01:01:33,154
That was before John
suggested that I quit

1124
01:01:33,197 --> 01:01:35,271
and become a full-time
housewife and mother.

1125
01:01:35,314 --> 01:01:36,695
How considerate.

1126
01:01:36,738 --> 01:01:39,571
After all, those are the most
precious days of a woman's life.

1127
01:01:39,614 --> 01:01:41,495
I hated the bastard for it,

1128
01:01:41,538 --> 01:01:43,605
and I wish he'd been
run over by a bus.

1129
01:01:43,648 --> 01:01:45,042
I couldn't agree more.

1130
01:01:45,085 --> 01:01:47,144
And these are the twins.

1131
01:01:47,187 --> 01:01:49,203
They are so adorable.

1132
01:01:49,246 --> 01:01:50,527
No, they're not.

1133
01:01:50,570 --> 01:01:51,670
They're ignorant, stupid,

1134
01:01:51,704 --> 01:01:53,804
and don't do a
word I tell them to.

1135
01:01:53,847 --> 01:01:55,761
Have you tried disciple?

1136
01:01:55,804 --> 01:01:58,370
Why, Guffman, you naughty boy!

1137
01:02:03,470 --> 01:02:06,527
And...that's how
you do the fox trot.

1138
01:02:06,570 --> 01:02:10,536
Now, the waltz is something
completely different.

1139
01:02:12,279 --> 01:02:13,379
Not so rough!

1140
01:02:13,402 --> 01:02:15,769
Quick! We have to
get out of here!

1141
01:02:15,812 --> 01:02:16,936
They killed their neighbor,

1142
01:02:16,979 --> 01:02:18,236
and we could be next!

1143
01:02:29,034 --> 01:02:30,792
I don't believe it.

1144
01:02:30,835 --> 01:02:33,068
Less than two hours to
go to my birthday bash,

1145
01:02:33,111 --> 01:02:35,459
and Six insists
I mow the lawn.

1146
01:02:35,502 --> 01:02:38,102
Soft fleshy snatch,
silicone snatch.

1147
01:02:38,145 --> 01:02:40,702
So what? Women
are all the same.

1148
01:02:45,568 --> 01:02:48,167
Not getting into Chance's
pants was bad enough,

1149
01:02:48,210 --> 01:02:50,767
but lobster three times
a day for the next month?

1150
01:02:50,810 --> 01:02:52,934
Give me a break. What's
going on over there?

1151
01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:57,234
Oh, my Lord! It's
a man with a gun!

1152
01:02:57,277 --> 01:02:58,901
And he's pointing
it at Chance!

1153
01:02:58,944 --> 01:03:00,491
He's kinda cute.

1154
01:03:00,534 --> 01:03:03,667
Damn! Here comes
that whore Deirdre.

1155
01:03:13,766 --> 01:03:15,156
I saw him first.

1156
01:03:15,199 --> 01:03:17,223
Back off, bitch!
This one's mine.

1157
01:03:17,266 --> 01:03:20,333
Stop scratching! There's
enough here for all of us.

1158
01:03:20,376 --> 01:03:22,633
That's it. I've had enough.

1159
01:03:22,676 --> 01:03:23,776
We're out of here.

1160
01:03:25,833 --> 01:03:26,989
<i>Look at them.</i>

1161
01:03:27,032 --> 01:03:28,900
<i>They'll screw
anything that moves.</i>

1162
01:03:28,943 --> 01:03:30,190
<i>But they didn't kill me,</i>

1163
01:03:30,233 --> 01:03:32,516
<i>and I wasn't referring
to them in my journal.</i>

1164
01:03:32,559 --> 01:03:34,799
<i>I was talking about
that bunch of foreigners</i>

1165
01:03:34,842 --> 01:03:36,765
<i>who moved in next door to me.</i>

1166
01:03:36,808 --> 01:03:37,955
<i>My friends are right.</i>

1167
01:03:37,998 --> 01:03:40,532
<i>I am a paranoid,
bigoted, irrational snob.</i>

1168
01:03:40,575 --> 01:03:42,322
<i>And yes, I shot myself.</i>

1169
01:03:42,365 --> 01:03:44,055
<i>I mean, who wants to live</i>

1170
01:03:44,098 --> 01:03:45,765
<i>next to stupid
assholes like that?</i>

1171
01:03:54,465 --> 01:03:55,931
70 Kroenigs.

1172
01:03:55,974 --> 01:03:57,354
70 Kroenigs?

1173
01:03:57,397 --> 01:04:01,364
I just got charged 200
at the door for admission.

1174
01:04:01,407 --> 01:04:02,935
What a rip-off!

1175
01:04:02,978 --> 01:04:04,421
This party sucks!

1176
01:04:04,464 --> 01:04:07,697
I said charge everybody
80 Kroenigs, not 70!

1177
01:04:07,740 --> 01:04:10,931
Except that sexy
little clown over there.

1178
01:04:10,974 --> 01:04:12,087
Her drinks are free.

1179
01:04:12,130 --> 01:04:14,997
I want her nice
and loosey-goosey.

1180
01:04:20,663 --> 01:04:22,953
Thanks, Babette. For what?

1181
01:04:22,996 --> 01:04:25,363
For the birthday bang you're
going to give me tonight.

1182
01:04:25,406 --> 01:04:28,597
Dream on, you
bloated sack of shit!

1183
01:04:28,640 --> 01:04:29,830
That's what you think.

1184
01:04:29,873 --> 01:04:30,829
What?

1185
01:04:30,830 --> 01:04:32,454
I said have another drink.

1186
01:04:32,497 --> 01:04:34,430
What do you mean
you have no intention

1187
01:04:34,473 --> 01:04:36,934
of deprogramming that android?

1188
01:04:36,977 --> 01:04:38,903
Read my lips. Chode is toast.

1189
01:04:38,946 --> 01:04:41,020
But he promised not to f...

1190
01:04:41,063 --> 01:04:43,229
Have sex with Babette.

1191
01:04:43,272 --> 01:04:45,352
Yeah, and he better not.

1192
01:04:45,395 --> 01:04:48,062
But if you think I'm going
to call off the Arnie,

1193
01:04:48,105 --> 01:04:50,629
you're out of your
friggin' minds.

1194
01:04:50,672 --> 01:04:51,952
Why should I?

1195
01:04:51,995 --> 01:04:55,529
This is my chance to get rid
of Chode once and for all!

1196
01:04:55,572 --> 01:04:58,019
Ha ha ha ha ha!

1197
01:04:58,062 --> 01:05:00,529
I just gotta check out
this high hair nightclub,

1198
01:05:00,572 --> 01:05:02,328
Get outta the way,
you green freak!

1199
01:05:04,228 --> 01:05:06,361
Sorry, fellas, no can do.

1200
01:05:08,461 --> 01:05:10,877
Okay, you asked
for it, asshole!

1201
01:05:10,920 --> 01:05:13,294
My wife needs a new handbag.

1202
01:05:15,828 --> 01:05:20,828
I gotta visit the
little girl's room.

1203
01:05:20,871 --> 01:05:23,294
I understand completely.

1204
01:05:27,494 --> 01:05:29,760
A thousand and one,
a thousand and two,

1205
01:05:29,803 --> 01:05:32,026
a thousand and... hell,
that's long enough.

1206
01:05:39,861 --> 01:05:41,894
Well, excuse...

1207
01:05:44,894 --> 01:05:45,994
Okay...

1208
01:05:47,493 --> 01:05:50,693
There you are,
you little vixen.

1209
01:05:50,736 --> 01:05:53,159
Come to Papa!

1210
01:05:55,025 --> 01:05:57,283
Keep doing that.

1211
01:05:57,326 --> 01:06:00,326
You like that, you
dirty girl, do ya?

1212
01:06:00,369 --> 01:06:02,025
Yeah, I do!

1213
01:06:06,960 --> 01:06:10,758
Why the fuck did you tell
us Chode was responsible?

1214
01:06:10,801 --> 01:06:13,525
I was afraid if you
found out Adam did it,

1215
01:06:13,568 --> 01:06:15,182
you'd kill him.

1216
01:06:15,225 --> 01:06:17,682
If you killed
Chode, who'd care?

1217
01:06:17,725 --> 01:06:19,892
But when you sent that
android to kill him,

1218
01:06:19,935 --> 01:06:21,035
I felt rotten about it.

1219
01:06:21,058 --> 01:06:22,859
That's why I went
back to warn him.

1220
01:06:22,902 --> 01:06:24,215
Under the circumstances,

1221
01:06:24,258 --> 01:06:26,925
isn't it about time
you shut it down?

1222
01:06:26,968 --> 01:06:29,115
What do you think, darling?

1223
01:06:29,158 --> 01:06:32,390
We have to do the
right thing, honey.

1224
01:06:32,433 --> 01:06:34,181
Chode dies!

1225
01:06:34,224 --> 01:06:35,289
What do you mean?

1226
01:06:35,290 --> 01:06:36,740
That thing's still after me?

1227
01:06:36,783 --> 01:06:38,190
I didn't do
Babette, I tell ya.

1228
01:06:38,233 --> 01:06:39,681
Maybe you should have.

1229
01:06:39,724 --> 01:06:42,990
Dying for no good
reason sucks big time!

1230
01:06:43,033 --> 01:06:44,657
Get out of here
before it sees you.

1231
01:06:44,700 --> 01:06:45,790
We'll try and stall it.

1232
01:06:45,791 --> 01:06:48,724
I'll never forget
you all for this.

1233
01:06:48,767 --> 01:06:50,095
Six,

1234
01:06:50,138 --> 01:06:51,447
Whip,

1235
01:06:51,490 --> 01:06:52,606
Gus...

1236
01:06:53,745 --> 01:06:54,755
T'nuk!

1237
01:06:54,756 --> 01:06:56,323
Yeah, T'nuk. Thanks, guys.

1238
01:06:58,656 --> 01:06:59,756
Thanks ever so.

1239
01:08:10,887 --> 01:08:11,987
Damn it!

1240
01:08:29,752 --> 01:08:31,242
So it's agreed.

1241
01:08:31,285 --> 01:08:32,942
You and Babette travel back,

1242
01:08:32,985 --> 01:08:35,735
decline the invitation
to Chode's party,

1243
01:08:35,778 --> 01:08:38,486
and Bernice will shut
down the Arnie 1000.

1244
01:08:38,529 --> 01:08:39,643
Yeah, okay.

1245
01:08:39,686 --> 01:08:40,851
I can't hear you!

1246
01:08:40,894 --> 01:08:42,017
Sir, yes, sir!

1247
01:08:44,017 --> 01:08:45,941
Please, let me live,

1248
01:08:45,984 --> 01:08:47,518
and I'll become a new person.

1249
01:08:47,561 --> 01:08:48,972
I won't cuss anymore.

1250
01:08:49,015 --> 01:08:50,341
I'll give up the booze.

1251
01:08:50,384 --> 01:08:52,685
I won't hang out with hookers.

1252
01:08:53,984 --> 01:08:56,108
Yahoo!

1253
01:08:56,151 --> 01:08:58,041
Just because we
won't be at the party

1254
01:08:58,084 --> 01:09:01,585
doesn't mean we still
can't get it on, right?

1255
01:09:01,628 --> 01:09:03,250
I heard that,
you little whore!

1256
01:09:03,293 --> 01:09:04,417
Bernice!

1257
01:09:06,650 --> 01:09:09,107
Hey, big guy. You
gotta give me a break.

1258
01:09:09,150 --> 01:09:12,684
It's tough to go cold turkey
on so many things at once.

1259
01:09:12,727 --> 01:09:15,340
What say I cut
back on my language

1260
01:09:15,383 --> 01:09:17,650
in exchange for the
occasional prostitute?

1261
01:09:17,693 --> 01:09:19,340
Aah!

1262
01:09:19,383 --> 01:09:21,507
No! I was joking, please!

1263
01:09:21,550 --> 01:09:24,116
I'll do it, if
you let me live.

1264
01:09:24,159 --> 01:09:25,114
You will travel back!

1265
01:09:25,115 --> 01:09:26,816
You will not go to the party!

1266
01:09:26,859 --> 01:09:28,106
You will not have sex...

1267
01:09:28,149 --> 01:09:31,015
not then, not now,
not ever. You got that?

1268
01:09:31,058 --> 01:09:32,850
Yeah. Yeah.

1269
01:09:40,583 --> 01:09:43,082
I'm going to say this one
more times, you cretins.

1270
01:09:43,125 --> 01:09:46,115
I now am the legal
owner of that cyborg.

1271
01:09:46,158 --> 01:09:47,548
Just because I'm
listening to you

1272
01:09:47,591 --> 01:09:49,305
doesn't mean I give a damn.

1273
01:09:49,348 --> 01:09:52,105
I created it, and
I want it back.

1274
01:09:52,148 --> 01:09:56,181
Hello, hello? Are we having
a communication problem here?

1275
01:09:56,224 --> 01:09:57,872
Confederation
law clearly states

1276
01:09:57,915 --> 01:10:00,981
that salvaged goods become
the property of the salvager.

1277
01:10:01,024 --> 01:10:03,548
You didn't salvage
it, you stole it!

1278
01:10:03,591 --> 01:10:05,205
And that salvaged goody

1279
01:10:05,248 --> 01:10:07,615
should be worth a few
Kroenigs on the black market.

1280
01:10:07,658 --> 01:10:10,247
You can't sell it! It's mine!

1281
01:10:10,290 --> 01:10:11,805
It's not, and I can.

1282
01:10:11,848 --> 01:10:13,271
Besides, whatever I get for it

1283
01:10:13,314 --> 01:10:15,481
still won't compensate
for the pain and suffering

1284
01:10:15,524 --> 01:10:17,371
you two assholes
have caused me.

1285
01:10:17,414 --> 01:10:22,247
Your pain and suffering
are only just starting.

1286
01:10:22,290 --> 01:10:23,379
You purple...

1287
01:10:23,380 --> 01:10:24,980
Hey! You know what they say!

1288
01:10:25,023 --> 01:10:25,979
Possession...

1289
01:10:25,980 --> 01:10:27,371
You're not going to give me

1290
01:10:27,414 --> 01:10:30,112
that "9/10 of the
law" crap, are you?

1291
01:10:30,155 --> 01:10:31,503
Well, I was going to say

1292
01:10:31,546 --> 01:10:33,480
I now possess the
cyborg, so fuck off,

1293
01:10:33,523 --> 01:10:34,623
but that works, too.

1294
01:10:35,780 --> 01:10:37,036
Chode, are you crazy?

1295
01:10:37,079 --> 01:10:39,246
Those two could start
that thing up again.

1296
01:10:39,289 --> 01:10:41,684
Relax, Gus is reprogramming
it as we speak.

1297
01:10:41,727 --> 01:10:44,079
<i>What makes you think
he can reprogram it?</i>

1298
01:10:44,122 --> 01:10:45,212
Yeah, Uncle Chode.

1299
01:10:45,213 --> 01:10:47,203
Perhaps it's unreprogammable.

1300
01:10:47,246 --> 01:10:48,929
<i>Once a killer,
always a killer,</i>

1301
01:10:48,972 --> 01:10:50,570
<i>and you brought it aboard.</i>

1302
01:10:50,613 --> 01:10:52,978
Geez! What a bunch
of scaredy cats!

1303
01:10:55,978 --> 01:10:57,595
Hey, Gus! Gus?

1304
01:10:57,638 --> 01:10:59,169
Are you there?

1305
01:10:59,212 --> 01:11:01,712
I don't like the look
of this, Uncle Chode.

1306
01:11:01,755 --> 01:11:03,169
Shut up, will ya?

1307
01:11:03,212 --> 01:11:04,745
That thing can't
hurt us anymore.

1308
01:11:04,788 --> 01:11:06,178
Look, I'll prove it.

1309
01:11:08,212 --> 01:11:10,145
How do you like
that, you metal moron?

1310
01:11:10,188 --> 01:11:11,569
See? What did I tell you?

1311
01:11:11,612 --> 01:11:13,612
Chode, run for your
life. I couldn't...

1312
01:11:19,511 --> 01:11:21,444
Quick. To the
transporter room.

1313
01:11:26,744 --> 01:11:28,344
Don't leave me here like this.

1314
01:11:28,387 --> 01:11:29,343
Open the door.

1315
01:11:29,344 --> 01:11:30,911
This thing's going to kill me!

1316
01:11:33,377 --> 01:11:35,777
Bob, for fuck's sake!
Beam me out of here!

1317
01:11:35,820 --> 01:11:37,200
<i>No can do, El Capitan.</i>

1318
01:11:37,243 --> 01:11:40,210
<i>I can't lock on to
a fast moving object.</i>

1319
01:11:53,910 --> 01:11:55,643
Very fucking funny!

1320
01:11:55,686 --> 01:11:56,801
Glad you think so.

1321
01:11:56,844 --> 01:11:59,366
It's just a little
payback, Uncle Chode.

1322
01:11:59,409 --> 01:12:02,108
<i>Yeah, for all the crap you've put
us through over the last few days.</i>

1323
01:12:02,151 --> 01:12:04,199
I hope this teaches
you a lesson.

1324
01:12:04,242 --> 01:12:07,108
You can't go around screwing
everything in the universe.

1325
01:12:07,151 --> 01:12:09,975
Why not? Hasn't done Paris
Hilton's career any harm.

1326
01:12:10,018 --> 01:12:11,476
Are you sure this
thing isn't dangerous?

1327
01:12:11,519 --> 01:12:13,209
Of course. It's reprogrammed.

1328
01:12:13,252 --> 01:12:14,542
Bob, cue music.

1329
01:12:24,241 --> 01:12:25,998
That's it. Wiggle your bum

1330
01:12:26,041 --> 01:12:27,908
like you're pulling up
a pair of underpants.

1331
01:12:29,208 --> 01:12:31,665
You programmed it to dance?

1332
01:12:31,708 --> 01:12:34,441
Why not? Dance is
the language of love.

1333
01:12:34,484 --> 01:12:35,698
Bob, hit it.

1334
01:12:35,741 --> 01:12:38,942
<i>� Do you wanna
dance around like me?</i>

1335
01:12:38,985 --> 01:12:41,574
<i>� I'm the generator</i>

1336
01:12:41,617 --> 01:12:43,564
<i>� Of moves</i>

1337
01:12:43,607 --> 01:12:44,831
<i>� Every day and night</i>

1338
01:12:44,874 --> 01:12:47,631
<i>� I'm well beyond your dreams</i>

1339
01:12:47,674 --> 01:12:50,373
Geez! Gus can do everything
that android can do,

1340
01:12:50,416 --> 01:12:53,240
only backwards
and in high heels.

1341
01:12:59,966 --> 01:13:03,045
Ripped from Closed Captions by:
FDSCR

1342
01:13:03,155 --> 01:13:07,573
<i>� My circuit sonnet
will light up on the beat</i>

1343
01:13:07,936 --> 01:13:12,530
<i>� I circled around
so you can see</i>

1344
01:13:12,853 --> 01:13:17,506
<i>� Might as well get
up from your seat</i>

1345
01:13:17,749 --> 01:13:22,439
<i>� The music ranges on a memory</i>

1346
01:13:41,058 --> 01:13:44,354
<i>� R-O-B-O-T</i>

1347
01:13:44,397 --> 01:13:47,927
<i>� Dance</i>

1348
01:13:47,970 --> 01:13:50,504
<i>� Robot dance</i>

1349
01:13:51,804 --> 01:13:53,037
<i>� Can you feel it?</i>

1350
01:13:53,080 --> 01:13:54,358
<i>� Can you feel it?</i>

1351
01:13:54,401 --> 01:13:55,602
<i>� Can you feel it?</i>

1352
01:13:55,645 --> 01:13:56,791
<i>� Can you feel it?</i>

1353
01:13:56,834 --> 01:13:57,935
<i>� Can you feel it?</i>

1354
01:13:57,978 --> 01:13:59,141
<i>� Can you feel it?</i>

1355
01:13:59,184 --> 01:14:00,394
<i>� Can you feel it?</i>

1356
01:14:00,437 --> 01:14:01,620
<i>� Can you feel it?</i>

1357
01:14:01,663 --> 01:14:02,833
<i>� Can you feel it?</i>

1358
01:14:02,876 --> 01:14:04,003
<i>� Can you feel it?</i>

1359
01:14:06,337 --> 01:14:07,537
<i>� Can you feel it?</i>

1360
01:14:07,580 --> 01:14:08,708
<i>� Can you feel it?</i>

1361
01:14:08,751 --> 01:14:09,876
<i>� Can you feel it?</i>

1362
01:14:09,919 --> 01:14:11,019
<i>� Can you feel it?</i>

1363
01:14:18,269 --> 01:14:19,586
<i>� Can you feel it?</i>

1364
01:14:19,629 --> 01:14:20,903
<i>� Can you feel it?</i>