1
00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:06,088
And here's another
interesting weather fact.

2
00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:08,757
Another? Great!

3
00:00:08,925 --> 00:00:12,011
Changes in jet streams
can affect the speed

4
00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:14,430
at which the Earth
rotates on its axis,

5
00:00:14,597 --> 00:00:17,933
so bad weather can actually
make the day longer.

6
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:21,562
Well, there must be a hell
of a storm somewhere.

7
00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:26,650
Joke if you must, but you're
going to miss these moments.

8
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,527
With Leonard home in a few days,

9
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,530
this was your last time
driving me to the grocery store.

10
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,824
You know, I will miss this.

11
00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:36,535
I'll tell you what,
if my apples are mealy,

12
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:41,206
we'll hit the produce section
for one last crazy blowout.

13
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,292
Heck, you can even push the cart.

14
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:47,963
Please don't take my looking
forward to Leonard's return

15
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:51,633
as criticism of the job you've
been doing in his absence.

16
00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:53,177
I won't.

17
00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:57,139
That criticism will come later
in your report card.

18
00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:59,224
Yeah, I didn't stay
for the detention,

19
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:01,268
I'm not gonna read
the report card.

20
00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:08,275
- Hello.
- (SCREAMS) Leonard! Hi!

21
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:10,027
- Sh! Keep your voice down.
- Oh, my God. You weren't supposed

22
00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:12,154
- to be here till Sunday!
- We finished the experiment early,

23
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:13,822
so I thought I'd come home
and surprise you.

24
00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:15,351
Oh, my gosh,
why are we whispering?

25
00:01:15,366 --> 00:01:17,951
I didn't tell Sheldon
so we could have a few days alone.

26
00:01:18,119 --> 00:01:22,498
- Oh! That is so romantic.
- Sure, that's why I did it.

27
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,959
I just cannot believe you're here.

28
00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:27,878
SHELDON: Penny, it's your lucky day!

29
00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:31,381
Three of the eggs are clearly
not jumbo. Grab your keys.

30
00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:36,261
♪ (THEME SONG PLAYING) ♪

31
00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:02,830
Stuart, I was wondering
if you could help me find something.

32
00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:05,707
Happy to, unless it's hope
or a reason to live.

33
00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:09,920
Oh, you make me laugh, sad clown.

34
00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:15,050
Anyhoo, Leonard will be back
in a couple days

35
00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,386
and I need a welcome-home
gift for him.

36
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,930
As he's been at sea,
perhaps something

37
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:22,474
with a nautical theme
might be appropriate.

38
00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:25,352
Okay, well, I don't know
how much you want to spend,

39
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,564
but I do have this pretty
cool Aquaman statue.

40
00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:36,822
Aquaman?
This isn't a gag gift, Stuart.

41
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,909
Yeah, just as well.
It's a pretty rare piece.

42
00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:43,120
I'd rather just sell it
to a real collector.

43
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:46,415
I'm a real collector.

44
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,750
How rare is it?

45
00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:51,518
I shouldn't even have mentioned it.
How about a Batman squirt gun?

46
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:52,796
Ye...

47
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:56,633
Don't try and trick me
into buying something I don't want.

48
00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:58,719
Now, let's talk Aquaman.

49
00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:02,973
What were they thinking,
putting Doctor Octopus's mind

50
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:04,808
in Spider-Man's body?

51
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,810
Well, I've been quite enjoying that.

52
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:09,271
It combines all the
superhero fun of Spider-Man

53
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:12,232
with all the body-switching
shenanigans of Freaky Friday.

54
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:16,069
Both versions: original and Lohan.

55
00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:19,573
(INDIAN ACCENT) "Both versions:
original and Lohan." You're an idiot.

56
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,700
Hey, what's your problem?

57
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,036
I'm sorry.
I've been kind of snippy lately.

58
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,413
It's probably this stupid diet
I'm on.

59
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:29,958
- Why are you on a diet?
- I've put on a couple pounds.

60
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:33,795
Had to buy these pants
in the men's section.

61
00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:37,382
Well, we've all seen your mom.

62
00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:42,221
That Butterball turkey
was bound to come home to roost.

63
00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:47,309
Twelve-hundred dollars!
That's my final offer!

64
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:49,519
All right, Sheldon, you win.

65
00:03:49,687 --> 00:03:51,730
I'm sure Leonard
is gonna love this.

66
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,441
Oh, right, a present for Leonard.

67
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:58,028
You better throw in that squirt gun.

68
00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:02,616
Hm... Yeah, I don't know.
This squirt gun, it's... it's pretty rare.

69
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:05,160
Oh!

70
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:11,041
And this is me doing
the Titanic pose on the boat.

71
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:12,876
Oh!

72
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,921
And... oh, that's me getting rescued
after I fell in.

73
00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:17,256
Oh.

74
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:18,590
(KNOCK ON DOOR)

75
00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:20,509
- Oh. That's the pizza.
- Yep.

76
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,594
- Here's some money.
- Thank you.

77
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,346
And I'm gonna hit the head.

78
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:27,391
That's what us salty sea dogs say
when we have to go pee-pee.

79
00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:31,478
- Hey.
- Twenty-two, fifty.

80
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:33,480
Okay, here's 25.
Keep the change.

81
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:37,359
Seriously? I just walked up,
like, four flights of stairs.

82
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:41,405
Oh, okay. Well, here's, um...

83
00:04:41,572 --> 00:04:43,156
Thirty-something cents,

84
00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:45,575
and a promise
I won't call your boss

85
00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:48,453
and tell him
you reek of marijuana.

86
00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,499
Oh, Penny, I see
you've ordered pizza.

87
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:55,002
- I have Chinese food.
- That's nice.

88
00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:58,171
Oh, that's a rather earthy cologne.

89
00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:03,385
My uncle used to wear that.

90
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:07,556
Perhaps we can enjoy one last meal
together before Leonard returns.

91
00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:09,766
Yeah, thanks, but I kind of feel
like eating alone tonight, so...

92
00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:13,645
Are you sure? With your Italian pizza
and my Chinese noodles,

93
00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,272
we could play Marco Polo.

94
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,150
I mean, of course,
a reenactment of a meal

95
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,736
in the life of Marco Polo
the Venetian explorer,

96
00:05:20,903 --> 00:05:24,156
not Marco Polo
the terrifying water sport.

97
00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:27,534
Uh, yeah. It sounds fun,
but no thanks.

98
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:28,577
(TOILET FLUSHES)
Have a good night!

99
00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:32,080
- What, now, do you have company?
- No. No, no, no.

100
00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:33,749
You know what?
The toilet's been doing that.

101
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:36,335
- I called the building manager, so...
- Oh, I can take a look at it.

102
00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:39,087
- Well...
- I'm quite familiar with plumbing.

103
00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:43,300
Not to brag, but I spent most of
fifth grade with my head in a toilet.

104
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:46,178
Yeah, no, no, no.
You know what, Sheldon, it's okay.

105
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,013
You don't have to go
into the bathroom.

106
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,932
That's curious.
If there's no one here,

107
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:54,186
why are there two glasses
of wine on the table?

108
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:57,439
Oh. Well, you know,
I've got two hands

109
00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:59,816
and a bit of a drinking problem.

110
00:05:59,984 --> 00:06:02,569
Of course.
Ask a silly question.

111
00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:06,865
- That's odd.
- What?

112
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:09,326
There are takeout containers
in the trash can.

113
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:11,912
So? That's my dinner from last night.

114
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,998
What's odd is they're
in the trash can.

115
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:17,626
Okay. Look, honey,
I promise there's no one's here.

116
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:20,394
I've had a long day. I just want
to have a quiet dinner by myself.

117
00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:22,672
Oh, very well.

118
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:27,094
I'm no stranger to enjoying
the pleasures of solitude.

119
00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:29,513
- Oh!
- What?

120
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:31,560
Have you gotten Leonard
a welcome-home gift yet?

121
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:32,641
- No.
- Oh, great.

122
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,685
Do you want to go halfsies
on a 200 dollar squirt gun?

123
00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:40,982
- Hi, honey.
- Hey.

124
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:42,651
I made some brownies.
You want one?

125
00:06:43,694 --> 00:06:45,320
You're kidding, right?

126
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:49,491
I mean, you know
I'm trying to lose weight.

127
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:52,994
God, I thought we were partners
in this marriage.

128
00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:56,540
We are. Stop it. And for the
last time, you're not fat.

129
00:06:56,707 --> 00:06:58,542
Really? Tell that
to the bathroom scale,

130
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:00,919
'cause one of you is lying.

131
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:05,382
Fine, forget I asked.
How was dinner at your mom's?

132
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:08,927
Awful. I had to rub her ointment
all over her again.

133
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,470
Why can't she do it?

134
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:13,765
'Cause we've got a deeply
unhealthy relationship.

135
00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:16,435
Which reminds me,

136
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:18,895
do you think you can get
any samples of this from work?

137
00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:20,230
This was supposed
to last her a month,

138
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:23,442
but they didn't take into account
the square footage of her back.

139
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,987
Let me see.

140
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,531
How long have you been
putting this on her?

141
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:31,741
I don't know.
Few weeks. Why?

142
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:34,619
This is really strong estrogen cream.

143
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:36,427
Please tell me
you've been wearing gloves.

144
00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:39,749
Like these swollen sausages
could fit in gloves.

145
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,587
Howie, the estrogen's
getting absorbed by your skin.

146
00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:45,797
That's why you've been
all bloated and moody

147
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,300
and a giant pain in the ass.

148
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,595
You're full of estrogen
and you don't act like that.

149
00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:56,433
That's 'cause I'm a woman. I've had
years of practice riding the dragon.

150
00:07:58,352 --> 00:08:00,687
Fine. I'll wear gloves next time.

151
00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:03,732
It's still gonna take a few weeks for
the hormones to leave your system.

152
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:08,111
I feel so stupid. And fat.

153
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:12,240
It's okay.
You still look great to me.

154
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:16,578
In fact, why don't we go in the
bedroom and I'll prove it to you?

155
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:20,290
Sex? Really? I mean,
that's just your solution to everything!

156
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,753
Oh, and here's a fun thing.

157
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,631
I worked it out so that there are
two different words for spoon:

158
00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:30,425
"planko" and "janko."

159
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:34,429
"Planko" is a spoon with food,
"janko" is a spoon without food.

160
00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:39,267
"Janko" is spelled
with a silent "ptang."

161
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:44,898
Sheldon, you're not even listening
to the rules of my made-up language.

162
00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:48,276
- Yes, I am.
- Then what does "tweepadock" mean?

163
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:49,653
Uh...

164
00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:51,321
Elephant?

165
00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:53,448
Lucky guess.

166
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:57,369
I'm sorry.

167
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,539
I'm just distracted by something
that happened over at Penny's.

168
00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:01,706
What happened?

169
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:04,543
I fear Penny is being unfaithful
to Leonard.

170
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:07,504
- What?
- She claimed to be alone

171
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:10,799
when there was obviously
someone else in her apartment.

172
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:13,301
I have no choice but
to assume the worst,

173
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:15,470
given Leonard's lengthy sea voyage

174
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:18,807
and her famously
ravenous nether regions.

175
00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:21,851
I don't think Penny
would cheat on Leonard.

176
00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:24,062
Oh, really?
(LAUGHS)

177
00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:28,775
She and I once had
a staring contest.

178
00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:31,570
She clapped really loud
and made me blink.

179
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:37,033
It's a small leap from there
to sexual infidelity.

180
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,203
You're being ridiculous.

181
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:45,292
Amy, there were Chinese
food containers... in the trash can.

182
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,420
Poor Leonard.

183
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:58,013
- Do you hear anything?
- I hear a woman's voice.

184
00:09:58,180 --> 00:10:00,724
- Is it Penny?
- No, it's you.

185
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:05,687
All right,
I hear whispering and giggling.

186
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,355
Now I think I hear kissing.

187
00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:10,275
Yeah, like you know
what kissing sounds like.

188
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:13,987
There's kissing in Star Trek,
smarty-pants.

189
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,697
Let me listen.

190
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,744
- Sounds like Leonard.
- Please.

191
00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:24,748
Why would Leonard come home early
and waste his time kissing Penny

192
00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:27,542
when he could be hanging out
with his best buddy?

193
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:32,130
Yeah, that's it.
I'm catching her in the act.

194
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,424
No, Sheldon, don't.

195
00:10:34,819 --> 00:10:35,819
A-ha!

196
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:38,303
- What the hell?!
- Leonard?

197
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,391
Sheldon, you cannot just
barge in here like that!

198
00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:41,765
Right.

199
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:45,560
(KNOCKING LOUDLY)

200
00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:48,355
SHELDON: Penny! Penny! Penny!

201
00:10:52,526 --> 00:10:54,069
Are you going to answer the door
or should I open it

202
00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:55,695
and say "a-ha" again?

203
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:03,161
I'm sorry, Sheldon.
I should've told you I was back.

204
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:05,409
I just wanted to have
a couple days alone with Penny.

205
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:07,540
Oh, no, I should apologize.

206
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:11,378
I never realized to what extent
our friendship was a burden to you.

207
00:11:11,545 --> 00:11:13,088
That is not fair.

208
00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:16,383
I complain about what a burden it is
at least once a month.

209
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:18,176
Oh, no, no, let's not sugarcoat this.

210
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:21,846
You find me finicky,
pedantic and annoying.

211
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,181
No, he doesn't.

212
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:26,768
I actually have used
those exact words before.

213
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,104
In that order.

214
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,440
Well, Leonard,
I think it's high time

215
00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:35,735
you and I address
the "tweepadock" in the room.

216
00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:38,405
- The what?
- Amy?

217
00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:41,199
- Please leave me out of this.
- Fine.

218
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:45,161
Leonard, there's no need for you
to pretend to like me anymore.

219
00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:48,415
- Come on, I said I was sorry.
- No, no, you save your apologies

220
00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:51,751
for after you've had
disappointing coitus with Penny.

221
00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:56,464
It was fine.

222
00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:58,133
Come on, this is silly.

223
00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:02,595
Hey, I brought you back
a little present from my trip, huh?

224
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,517
It's that sailor cap that you wanted.
It's neat, huh?

225
00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:12,814
You honestly think you can buy back
my friendship with a cheap souvenir?

226
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:17,110
I don't. No, I really don't.
Just try it on.

227
00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:23,030
- Oh, yeah.
- Hello, sailor.

228
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,951
Now we're talking.

229
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:28,288
Excuse me.

230
00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:38,882
This changes nothing.

231
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:42,343
Except the Halloween costume
I'm wearing this year.

232
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,848
Amy, you're going to be Olive Oyl.
Lay off the donuts.

233
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,688
- Thanks for coming over.
- No problem.

234
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:55,148
Ooh! You made little sandwiches!

235
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:57,901
Yeah, that's cucumber
and cream cheese.

236
00:12:58,068 --> 00:12:59,611
That's turkey and loganberry.

237
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:03,490
And don't tell my hips, but I'm
warming up a brie in the oven.

238
00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:05,492
Nice. So...

239
00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:07,368
What's up?

240
00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:10,705
Okay, well, I've been reading up
on all the side effects

241
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:15,668
you can get from estrogen, and...
I need you to be honest with me.

242
00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:19,130
Do my boobs look bigger to you?

243
00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:22,801
Well, it's kind of hard to tell.

244
00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:24,803
Come on, Raj,
it's a "yes or no" question.

245
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:27,680
I'm not sure. Um... Wait.

246
00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:30,683
Jump up and down,
let's see if they jiggle.

247
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:41,069
No, I... I still can't tell. Uh...

248
00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:44,447
Oh, you know what?
Okay, give me some of this.

249
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,077
- Seriously?
- Do you want my help or not?

250
00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:52,247
Fine.

251
00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:59,087
Okay, yup.

252
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:02,590
See, see, that looks like...
that looks like they could be bigger.

253
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:07,637
But, you know, I bet... I bet when
I do it, mine do the same thing.

254
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:15,520
- Yeah, they kind of do.
- Hm... Let me see something.

255
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,438
Hey, easy!

256
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:22,360
- My nipples are sensitive.
- Oh. Sorry, sorry.

257
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:23,570
(EXHALES)

258
00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:25,488
Okay.

259
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:32,662
I mean...

260
00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,207
Yeah, maybe.

261
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,626
Okay, let me feel.

262
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,971
No, I am definitely up a cup size.

263
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:52,932
You know, but they're very firm,
so you've got that going for you.

264
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:56,102
- You think?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, very perky.

265
00:14:57,396 --> 00:15:00,356
Thank you.
I really needed to hear that today.

266
00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:04,068
(OVEN DINGS)

267
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:05,361
- Ooh! Brie's ready!
- Yay!

268
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:13,077
- Good morning.
- Hello.

269
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:17,415
So am I driving you to work,
or are you still mad at me?

270
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,000
I'd like a ride.

271
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:22,754
Assuming you actually do
take me to work.

272
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,547
Where do you think I would take you?

273
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:28,927
Who knows? You said
you'd be home yesterday,

274
00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:30,803
but you came home three days ago.

275
00:15:30,971 --> 00:15:34,182
You say you're taking me
to work, but for all I know,

276
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:38,144
I'll end up
in a deserted amusement park.

277
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:40,980
Or a cornfield maze.

278
00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:44,150
Or a back-alley dog fight.
You tell me.

279
00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:47,570
I'm going to work.
You can come if you want.

280
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:49,405
Okay.

281
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:53,159
By the way, you have
something on your shirt.

282
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:56,454
- No, I don't.
- Hurts, doesn't it?

283
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,211
You know, I find myself wondering

284
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:06,297
if anything you've
ever told me is true.

285
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:09,759
I didn't make it back.
The ship sank, I'm in hell.

286
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:16,683
You say you're from New Jersey,
but how can I believe you?

287
00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:20,228
Why would anyone claim to be
from New Jersey if they weren't?

288
00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:24,399
All right, I'll give you that one.

289
00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:28,820
Hey, I said I was sorry.
What else do you want from me?

290
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,239
I want you to admit that
what you did was wrong.

291
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:34,409
Fine. What I did was wrong.

292
00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:36,494
I wish I could believe you.

293
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,914
You know what?
I'm not driving you to work,

294
00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:41,624
because you're incredibly annoying.

295
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:44,002
You say one thing and do the other,

296
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:48,256
so then you are driving me
and you find me a delight.

297
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,216
- Stop it.
- Keep it up?

298
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:52,552
- Bye!
- Hello!

299
00:16:57,182 --> 00:17:00,560
So I guess you're really
holding up the other four fingers?

300
00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:05,773
Oh, hey, what are you
doing here so early?

301
00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:08,568
- Driving Sheldon to work.
- He's still mad at Leonard, huh?

302
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,111
He's mad at you, too.

303
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:13,740
He says you're the succubus
who led his friend astray.

304
00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:18,661
I don't know
what "succubus" is, but...

305
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:21,039
it has "suck" in it,
so that can't be good.

306
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,376
- Thought I heard you out here.
- Hey, Sheldon.

307
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:28,713
You don't get a "hey."
You get a "hmm."

308
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,631
Come on, don't be like that.

309
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:33,051
We had so much fun together
the last couple of months.

310
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:36,137
You're right. Which makes your
betrayal all the more devastating.

311
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:37,972
- Sheldon...
- I let you buy

312
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:41,142
feminine hygiene products
with my supermarket club card.

313
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:46,105
You have any idea the kind of coupons
I'm going to get in the mail now?

314
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:50,318
Sheldon, your fight's with Leonard.
Penny's got nothing to do...

315
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:51,944
Careful, Amy.

316
00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:55,823
The friend of my enemy's girlfriend
is my enemy.

317
00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:57,492
- Really?
- Yes.

318
00:17:57,659 --> 00:17:59,494
You're either with me or against me.

319
00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:01,746
You want to take the bus to work?

320
00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:04,874
Maybe there's a third option.

321
00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:11,172
FYI, I had a doughnut
for breakfast, you jerk.

322
00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:15,635
So now we're just waiting
for the data

323
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:19,347
from the ship to be crunched, but the
numbers look pretty promising.

324
00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:23,351
That's so great. If you guys prove
the existence of Unruh radiation...

325
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,394
Hey, hey, hey!
My eyes are up here.

326
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:30,858
Howard, Raj, Judas.

327
00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:34,695
You know what?
You're a crazy person.

328
00:18:34,863 --> 00:18:36,864
A crazy person with a long memory,

329
00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:39,992
and if all goes according to plan,
a robot army.

330
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,079
- Stop it.
- Or a mutant army.

331
00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:45,706
It depends on how
my Kickstarter goes.

332
00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:49,460
I said stop it!

333
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,754
Now, listen to me.

334
00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:54,966
You two aren't just friends.

335
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,926
You're best friends.

336
00:18:57,886 --> 00:19:00,263
And that's a beautiful thing.

337
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:05,810
I mean, Leonard, you know
why he's so mad at you?

338
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,271
It's 'cause he missed you!

339
00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:11,357
Yeah, and as his friend,
you should be happy

340
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:15,194
he has love in his life.

341
00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:17,280
As I do.

342
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:22,743
This man held my breast
the other day, and I love him for it.

343
00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:26,831
A little loud, dude.

344
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:33,212
So can we please put aside
these petty differences

345
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:36,674
and just be glad
we're here together?

346
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:40,469
- Okay.
- I suppose so.

347
00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:42,430
Thank you.

348
00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:47,143
It wasn't anything weird.
It was just to see how big they were.

349
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:56,277
And then Leonard took me
to the barber and the dentist,

350
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,196
and then to cap off the perfect day,

351
00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:01,407
the Los Angeles Bureau
of Weights and Measures.

352
00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:05,286
I thought the measures were
going to be the stars of the show.

353
00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:08,080
Turns out it was the weights.

354
00:20:08,248 --> 00:20:11,083
I'm so glad you guys
are friends again.

355
00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:14,378
And I'm glad you and I
are friends again, too.

356
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:17,924
Which reminds me. This came in the
mail, and I want you to have it.

357
00:20:18,091 --> 00:20:21,427
"Fifty cents off Vagisil."

358
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,598
Think of me when you apply it.

359
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:31,771
Can I just say, I've missed
all of us hanging out together.

360
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:33,439
- Yeah.
- Me, too.

361
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:37,818
Um, since when can Koothrappali talk
in front of the girls without a beer?

362
00:20:37,986 --> 00:20:39,946
Oh, that happened
right after you left.

363
00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:41,489
And no one told me?

364
00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:45,076
Can't believe we forgot to tell him.

365
00:20:46,828 --> 00:20:49,664
Ahem. Think of Sheldon
when you apply it.

366
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,275
(English - US SDH)