1
00:00:06,886 --> 00:00:10,344
Welcome to the final moments
of the event they said could never happen.

2
00:00:14,527 --> 00:00:16,927
This is Jimmy Olsen,
and if you're just tuning in,

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00:00:17,096 --> 00:00:19,223
gee whiz,
where the heck have you been?

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00:00:19,399 --> 00:00:21,458
Let's look at the highlights
of the greatest event

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in the history of any sport ever played,
any place, ever.

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The Justice League International
versus the Legion Of Doom.

7
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The JLI took an early lead

8
00:00:33,613 --> 00:00:36,741
due to heavy hitters
Superman and Wonder Woman.

9
00:00:42,422 --> 00:00:45,755
We just got word
that Supes' first hit passed the moon, Titan.

10
00:00:46,392 --> 00:00:50,590
Luthor looked like an easy strikeout,
but had a surprise up his sleeve.

11
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Joker hit a foul ball, literally.

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He turned it into the tying run.

13
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Which brings us
to the bottom of the ninth.

14
00:01:08,948 --> 00:01:11,940
Heroes coming up to the plate
with the villains leading by three.

15
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Should be an exciting finish.

16
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I know it's not looking good right now.

17
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But those stands are full of people,

18
00:01:19,292 --> 00:01:23,023
kids, like little Julie Schwartz
and Franky Miller from Gotham City,

19
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who are depending on us to show that,
even in baseball,

20
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good always triumphs over evil.

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So let's go out there and give it our all.

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The heroes start the inning
with their heavy hitters.

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Merciful Minerva.

24
00:01:47,253 --> 00:01:48,948
- Out.
- Uh-oh.

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00:01:49,122 --> 00:01:51,613
Looks like Amazo's playing favorites
for the villains.

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Safe.

27
00:01:55,561 --> 00:01:57,119
But the truth prevails.

28
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Luthor's not taking any chances
on the Man of Steel.

29
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He forces him to take a stroll to first.

30
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Robin, the boy bunter,
loads the bases for the heroes.

31
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Luthor's calling time

32
00:02:20,887 --> 00:02:23,981
and I'm willing to bet he's calling
his team a few things while he's at it.

33
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Imbeciles! You couldn't catch a cold.

34
00:02:26,826 --> 00:02:29,556
What we need is a pitcher,
not a belly itcher.

35
00:02:29,896 --> 00:02:34,060
No. What we need is magic.

36
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Thanks to Faust's spell,

37
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they'll have better luck
swinging a wet noodle.

38
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The game is as good as ours.

39
00:02:43,076 --> 00:02:45,738
The heroes have the bases loaded
with no outs.

40
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This game is as good as theirs.

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Strike one.

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Strike two.

43
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Three strikes. He's out.

44
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Another out and what looked like
a promising inning

45
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has turned into a nail-biter.

46
00:03:05,498 --> 00:03:07,625
It all comes down to Batman.

47
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:11,793
Hey, mister. I won three
Little League championships with this.

48
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It's my lucky bat.

49
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I want you to have it.

50
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Doesn't matter.

51
00:03:18,644 --> 00:03:22,205
He's still no match for my arm.

52
00:03:23,916 --> 00:03:25,474
Great Scott!

53
00:03:25,651 --> 00:03:27,915
Luthor's been cheating the whole time.

54
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Strike one.

55
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Strike two.

56
00:03:41,934 --> 00:03:43,993
He swings.

57
00:03:53,279 --> 00:03:54,405
Batman's done it.

58
00:03:57,750 --> 00:03:59,149
I can't believe my eyes.

59
00:03:59,318 --> 00:04:02,253
JLI wins! JLI wins!

60
00:04:02,421 --> 00:04:07,358
Say what you want about the Dark Knight,
but today, he truly is a "bat" man.

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00:04:08,594 --> 00:04:11,028
This is Jimmy Olsen signing off.

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00:04:50,890 --> 00:04:54,382
Ladies and gentlemen,
today we present a modern twist

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on a true clown classic,
a staple of harlequin humor.

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Our unwilling participant,
the Dark Knight himself,

65
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and a surprise guest, a nosy reporter
who got a little too close to her story.

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I hope this doesn't dissuade you
from a life of journalism, Miss Vale.

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It's still a noble calling.

68
00:05:14,780 --> 00:05:19,717
Without further ado, I give you
that time-honored staple of comedy.

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A pie in the face, the abridged version.

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Disappointing.

71
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I expected a bit more fanfare

72
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to usher in the worldwide reign
of Lex Luthor.

73
00:06:00,493 --> 00:06:02,427
Hold it, Luthor.

74
00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:17,935
Surrender now, Cheetah, and spare yourself
another humiliating defeat.

75
00:06:18,110 --> 00:06:22,012
But, Wonder Woman, darling,
what fun would that be?

76
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,825
Hold tight, Miss Vale.

77
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But it was foolproof. Foolproof!

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I've won, Superman.

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Proven myself superior. Admit it.

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Have to know. How?

81
00:06:58,617 --> 00:07:01,142
A perpetual energy source, Superman.

82
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Enough to counter any degree of power,
even yours.

83
00:07:05,524 --> 00:07:07,617
Thanks for the info.

84
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:13,792
You've ruined everything.
But I can still ruin you.

85
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Here it comes.

86
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The city's lead sewer pipes
will take care of that.

87
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But it was foolproof.

88
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Foolproof!

89
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But it was foolproof.

90
00:07:48,567 --> 00:07:50,831
Foolproof!

91
00:07:51,570 --> 00:07:54,095
Couldn't have done it without your help,
Major Trevor.

92
00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:58,509
- So are we still on?
- I'm in.

93
00:07:58,677 --> 00:08:01,407
- Batman? You coming?
- Wouldn't miss it.

94
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Okay, here's one from my Smallville days.

95
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Disgusting.

96
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It's in my palm. See?

97
00:08:23,602 --> 00:08:25,866
I meant the tabletop. It's hideous.

98
00:08:26,038 --> 00:08:28,097
Are these cows?

99
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:31,539
It's not the venue. It's the company.

100
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- Double-bacon cheeseburger with fries.
- Make it two.

101
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:38,476
I'll have the tuna club on whole wheat
and a salad...

102
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Make it three. And shakes all around.

103
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:42,754
You'll work it off, princess.

104
00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:45,550
Have either of you given any thought
to the time capsule?

105
00:08:45,724 --> 00:08:48,625
Oh, right, the Superhero Memorial.

106
00:08:48,794 --> 00:08:50,625
So we give them a personal item,

107
00:08:50,796 --> 00:08:54,527
they bury it and dig it up again
in 50 years? Why?

108
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A message
to future generations of heroes.

109
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Did you see their suggestions?

110
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Your tiara, my cape, Batman's Batarang?

111
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Please. As if those things
were all that defined us.

112
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Agreed. But then, what?

113
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To be continued, I guess. Food's here.

114
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When I'm fighting for the American way,
this is what I'm really talking about.

115
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We need a victory. And we need it now.

116
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Oh, face it, Lexy, the act's gone stale.

117
00:09:31,670 --> 00:09:34,639
Our respective nemesi
know all the punch lines.

118
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Like kryptonite.
Can't you do anything creative with it?

119
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I don't need advice
from a cut-rate Catwoman.

120
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Crazy thought. Maybe it's time
we changed dance partners, hmm?

121
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You scratch my foe's back,
I'll scratch yours.

122
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Yes. If each of us takes on a different hero,
it's a whole new game.

123
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Advantage, us.

124
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Dibs on the swimsuit model.

125
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A mere mortal for a change.

126
00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:05,126
But that leaves Cheetah with...

127
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The Man of Steel? Ha.

128
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Steel or flesh,
no man can resist the claws of this cat.

129
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And this time,
we bring the battle to them.

130
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Mother, I really don't have time for this.

131
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Oh, please. It's just one little contest.

132
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Which can last for days.

133
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I only came to Paradise Island today

134
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to find something to donate
for the time capsule project,

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something that signifies heroism.

136
00:10:56,338 --> 00:10:58,067
I need to find...

137
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I haven't seen such a battle
since my own daughter's historic victory.

138
00:11:04,579 --> 00:11:05,705
Who are you?

139
00:11:06,014 --> 00:11:09,506
Just a humble warrior, my queen.

140
00:11:09,684 --> 00:11:13,313
Call me Maniaque, if it pleases you.

141
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Come forward and be honored,
Maniaque.

142
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Maniaque?

143
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Mother, look out!

144
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The Joker.

145
00:11:32,974 --> 00:11:35,772
Well, it ain't Helen of Troy.

146
00:11:37,212 --> 00:11:41,808
No man sets foot on Paradise Island,
let alone an insane psychopath.

147
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I am what I am, Wonder Wench.

148
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And you're about to be ancient history.

149
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So this is how the other half lives.

150
00:12:05,106 --> 00:12:09,543
Time to find out how the other half dies.

151
00:12:21,623 --> 00:12:26,151
Hmm. Kandor City.
Filled with Kryptonian artifacts.

152
00:12:26,327 --> 00:12:27,726
Sorry, big boy.

153
00:12:29,297 --> 00:12:32,095
Your message in a bottle
will have to wait forever.

154
00:12:35,003 --> 00:12:37,471
- How did you...?
- This charming little bauble.

155
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The Amulet of Urzkartaga
channels the full mystic powers

156
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of my feline namesake.

157
00:12:44,979 --> 00:12:46,571
Magic, Superman.

158
00:12:46,748 --> 00:12:50,616
Something to which
you are particularly vulnerable.

159
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Impressive, but you still won't win,
so you might as well surrender now.

160
00:13:09,003 --> 00:13:12,962
Kryptonite-laced nail polish.
Isn't it too divine?

161
00:13:13,508 --> 00:13:17,239
Under all that steel, just a man.

162
00:13:41,803 --> 00:13:44,533
Now to claim my prize.

163
00:13:50,879 --> 00:13:54,212
Are you sure this is the
right approach, Master Bruce?

164
00:13:54,382 --> 00:13:55,406
Of course, Alfred.

165
00:13:55,583 --> 00:13:59,519
By feeding all the requirements of the time
capsule ceremony into the Bat-Computer,

166
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length of time, posterity, heroics,
it'll tell me the perfect item to donate.

167
00:14:06,861 --> 00:14:08,692
"A Batarang."

168
00:14:08,863 --> 00:14:10,023
Genius.

169
00:14:10,331 --> 00:14:13,528
And you are officially late
for your dinner with Miss Vale.

170
00:14:13,701 --> 00:14:15,999
Will you have any further need
for me then, sir?

171
00:14:16,171 --> 00:14:18,867
That will be all for tonight, Alfred.

172
00:14:21,242 --> 00:14:24,143
Our tracking devices worked as planned.

173
00:14:24,312 --> 00:14:27,804
Leading us straight to our enemies.

174
00:14:30,151 --> 00:14:33,382
Caught with your trunks down,
Dark Knight?

175
00:14:37,158 --> 00:14:41,219
Hair, black. Muscular frame.

176
00:14:45,333 --> 00:14:46,425
Who are you?

177
00:14:46,601 --> 00:14:49,695
Did you come here to fight me,
Luthor, or my janitor?

178
00:14:52,407 --> 00:14:53,601
Oh, dear.

179
00:15:06,020 --> 00:15:07,885
Good job, Alfred. I've got it from here.

180
00:15:08,523 --> 00:15:10,286
Bash that bald blighter.

181
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:22,400
What's the matter, Luthor?
Superman proved too much for you?

182
00:15:22,737 --> 00:15:25,797
Years of fighting
an almost god-like being.

183
00:15:25,974 --> 00:15:28,408
Now it's just man against man.

184
00:15:36,384 --> 00:15:38,443
This is almost too easy.

185
00:15:56,838 --> 00:15:58,669
Delightful.

186
00:15:59,841 --> 00:16:02,969
Now then, where were we?

187
00:16:03,144 --> 00:16:08,172
Ah, yes, your secret identity.

188
00:16:18,572 --> 00:16:19,971
Manners, Batman.

189
00:16:20,140 --> 00:16:23,439
Always look a visitor in the eye.

190
00:16:23,877 --> 00:16:26,209
Very clever, Dark Knight.

191
00:16:26,847 --> 00:16:28,075
No matter.

192
00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:32,878
As we speak, Joker is finishing off
Wonder Woman, and Cheetah, Superman.

193
00:16:33,053 --> 00:16:34,611
Then go ahead, Luthor.

194
00:16:34,788 --> 00:16:38,383
Better to die here with dignity
than face the world in disgrace.

195
00:16:38,558 --> 00:16:40,526
The world, you say?

196
00:16:40,694 --> 00:16:43,720
Now that's an idea.
You're not as dumb as you look.

197
00:16:44,831 --> 00:16:47,857
Slave all teleporters to my command.

198
00:16:54,674 --> 00:16:58,405
You know me.
I love to beat a joke to death.

199
00:17:07,554 --> 00:17:09,749
You always had lousy timing, Lexy.

200
00:17:09,923 --> 00:17:12,858
I was about to deliver a killer punch line.

201
00:17:13,026 --> 00:17:16,393
You cretinous chrome dome!
What's the meaning of this?

202
00:17:16,563 --> 00:17:19,430
Wouldn't you rather
finish off our captive audience

203
00:17:19,599 --> 00:17:23,194
before a captive audience?

204
00:17:48,261 --> 00:17:50,286
Now the whole world can see.

205
00:17:50,464 --> 00:17:53,956
But this time, the world is not enough.

206
00:17:56,303 --> 00:17:59,636
<i>Attention all sentient beings
in the known galaxy.</i>

207
00:17:59,806 --> 00:18:02,468
<i>It is I, Lex Luthor.</i>

208
00:18:02,843 --> 00:18:06,643
<i>And I, the Cheetah in the adorable fur.</i>

209
00:18:06,813 --> 00:18:09,077
<i>And last but never least, me,</i>

210
00:18:09,416 --> 00:18:14,979
the mountebank of menace, the lord
of laughs, the clown prince of...

211
00:18:15,155 --> 00:18:16,554
Joker.

212
00:18:16,723 --> 00:18:19,089
We, Earth's greatest villains,

213
00:18:19,259 --> 00:18:23,821
hereby declare final victory
over Earth's greatest heroes,

214
00:18:23,997 --> 00:18:28,093
the big three, the trinity. Behold.

215
00:18:28,268 --> 00:18:32,932
Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman.

216
00:18:33,106 --> 00:18:34,573
This was your idea?

217
00:18:34,741 --> 00:18:37,471
Why bring us to the heart
of the enemy stronghold itself?

218
00:18:37,644 --> 00:18:39,874
Remember, it's not the venue.

219
00:18:40,046 --> 00:18:42,571
It's the company.

220
00:18:42,749 --> 00:18:45,616
So, Luthor, since you tricked us
by switching opponents,

221
00:18:45,785 --> 00:18:47,912
I assume you'll divvy up the spoils
accordingly.

222
00:18:48,088 --> 00:18:50,682
You'll get Gotham City,
Joker gets Paradise Island,

223
00:18:50,857 --> 00:18:52,347
and Cheetah gets Metropolis.

224
00:18:52,526 --> 00:18:53,959
Are you mad?

225
00:18:54,127 --> 00:18:58,530
Lex Luthor give Metropolis
to this freakish furball? Never.

226
00:19:00,033 --> 00:19:02,695
You dare deny me
your precious Metropolis?

227
00:19:02,869 --> 00:19:07,238
It was I who beat the last son of Krypton,
not you, little man.

228
00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:09,967
She's right, Lexy. A deal's a deal.

229
00:19:10,143 --> 00:19:12,373
- You can't stand that I'm better.
- Stop it.

230
00:19:12,546 --> 00:19:14,036
Don't you tell me what to do!

231
00:19:14,214 --> 00:19:18,412
Enough. Metropolis is mine
and that's final.

232
00:19:19,786 --> 00:19:21,378
Oh, Rats.

233
00:19:21,555 --> 00:19:24,422
Now it's time we thank our hosts
for their hospitality.

234
00:19:24,591 --> 00:19:26,456
Shall we trade dance partners again?

235
00:19:26,626 --> 00:19:28,719
Let's keep them guessing.

236
00:20:02,228 --> 00:20:03,252
Yeah!

237
00:20:34,294 --> 00:20:37,957
Three on one?
Where's your sense of sportsmanship?

238
00:20:45,372 --> 00:20:46,600
And that's a wrap.

239
00:20:58,284 --> 00:21:00,115
There's still one major problem.

240
00:21:00,286 --> 00:21:01,310
The time capsule.

241
00:21:01,488 --> 00:21:03,979
It's the deadline and none of us
have anything to put in it.

242
00:21:04,157 --> 00:21:06,921
I'm sure we'll figure something out.

243
00:21:14,634 --> 00:21:18,229
As we open this time capsule
after 50 years,

244
00:21:18,405 --> 00:21:21,238
we finally get our answer
to the question:

245
00:21:21,408 --> 00:21:24,900
What does it mean to be a superhero?

246
00:21:31,918 --> 00:21:35,319
Well, that's heroic.

247
00:21:45,165 --> 00:21:47,599
You take the one on the left,
I'll take the right.

248
00:21:47,767 --> 00:21:49,428
Works for me.

249
00:21:58,611 --> 00:21:59,771
You coming or what?

250
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:02,180
Wouldn't miss it.