1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

﻿1
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Ah!

2
00:00:02,317 --> 00:00:04,069
Damn, it's just Riley.

3
00:00:05,487 --> 00:00:06,695
"Damn, it's just Riley."

4
00:00:06,696 --> 00:00:08,782
I have a name for my autobiography.

5
00:00:09,783 --> 00:00:11,659
This dude has been waiting
on your brother,

6
00:00:11,660 --> 00:00:13,828
watching the door like a dog.

7
00:00:13,829 --> 00:00:16,164
I had to rub his belly to calm him down.

8
00:00:17,249 --> 00:00:19,917
I can't believe Dad's
picking Sam up at the airport.

9
00:00:19,918 --> 00:00:22,546
He didn't even pick me up when
I got my wisdom teeth pulled.

10
00:00:23,213 --> 00:00:25,298
It was fine. I've driven
on way more codeine.

11
00:00:26,299 --> 00:00:28,008
Sam joined the Navy.

12
00:00:28,009 --> 00:00:30,595
You got fired for stealing
socks from Old Navy.

13
00:00:32,514 --> 00:00:33,764
Alright, attention on deck!

14
00:00:33,765 --> 00:00:35,724
We got an officer coming in there.

15
00:00:35,725 --> 00:00:38,227
Sam Parker, Commander
of Naval Intelligence.

16
00:00:38,228 --> 00:00:39,436
Get over here.

17
00:00:39,437 --> 00:00:41,313
- Aw.
- Okay! Oh, yeah.

18
00:00:41,314 --> 00:00:43,148
I missed you so much.

19
00:00:43,149 --> 00:00:44,525
Oh, we're gonna have so much fun.

20
00:00:44,526 --> 00:00:46,360
We gotta go to the Grove.
They have a trolley now.

21
00:00:46,361 --> 00:00:48,154
- Gabe, sit. Sit, sit. Calm down.
- Okay.

22
00:00:48,155 --> 00:00:50,406
- Okay, my turn. Oh!
- Aw.

23
00:00:50,407 --> 00:00:52,658
Oh, this feels good.

24
00:00:52,659 --> 00:00:54,285
And weird without you
putting me in a headlock

25
00:00:54,286 --> 00:00:56,287
- and giving me a noogie.
- Well, if you insist.

26
00:00:56,288 --> 00:00:57,789
- No!
- Oh!

27
00:00:58,748 --> 00:01:00,374
Look at my man Sam.

28
00:01:00,375 --> 00:01:01,834
You lookin' good, baby.

29
00:01:01,835 --> 00:01:03,711
- Not as good as you.
- I know that's right.

30
00:01:05,380 --> 00:01:06,839
This is just great, you know?

31
00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:08,674
He's on the road to becoming an admiral

32
00:01:08,675 --> 00:01:10,551
and just flew in from... Where was it?

33
00:01:10,552 --> 00:01:12,386
- I'm not at liberty to say.
- Ha!

34
00:01:12,387 --> 00:01:13,680
I love it when he says that.

35
00:01:15,181 --> 00:01:17,976
Yeah, but when I say it,
I'm "withholding evidence."

36
00:01:26,507 --> 00:01:30,097
<b>Sync and corrections by btsix
www.MY-SUBS.com</b>

37
00:01:32,490 --> 00:01:35,618
Georgia, your mom tells me how
great you're doing in school.

38
00:01:35,619 --> 00:01:37,204
And, Carter...

39
00:01:37,787 --> 00:01:39,748
you're really funny on Instagram.

40
00:01:40,832 --> 00:01:42,625
Thanks. Missed you, Unc.

41
00:01:42,626 --> 00:01:44,293
You know, last time
you saw me, I was a boy.

42
00:01:44,294 --> 00:01:46,212
But now, I'm a man.

43
00:01:46,213 --> 00:01:49,966
And, yes, that is Obsession
by Calvin Klein you're smelling.

44
00:01:51,927 --> 00:01:55,430
It's better than his old scent,
Cool Ranch by Dorito.

45
00:01:57,307 --> 00:01:59,767
You know what? We should have
a welcome home party.

46
00:01:59,768 --> 00:02:02,561
Oh! You've never thrown me a party, Dad.

47
00:02:02,562 --> 00:02:05,189
Sure, I did. Junior year.
That big surprise party.

48
00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:08,024
That was an intervention.

49
00:02:08,025 --> 00:02:10,487
But the muffins were great.

50
00:02:11,446 --> 00:02:12,988
Fine, but not a lame party.

51
00:02:12,989 --> 00:02:15,032
- We should do a karaoke night!
- Ooh!

52
00:02:15,033 --> 00:02:16,617
No, no, no, no, I don't like karaoke.

53
00:02:16,618 --> 00:02:18,410
I don't listen to Bob Seger
songs thinking,

54
00:02:18,411 --> 00:02:20,622
"Maybe some drunk accountant
should sing this."

55
00:02:22,958 --> 00:02:24,500
- Uncle Sam.
- Hm?

56
00:02:24,501 --> 00:02:28,170
- You're a spy, right?
- I am not at liberty to...

57
00:02:28,171 --> 00:02:29,756
Yeah, yeah, save it for the sheeple.

58
00:02:31,424 --> 00:02:33,550
My Legend of Zelda game is missing,

59
00:02:33,551 --> 00:02:35,094
and I know Carter took it.

60
00:02:35,095 --> 00:02:37,638
Can you give me some
spy stuff to catch him?

61
00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:39,890
One of the first things they teach us...

62
00:02:41,351 --> 00:02:42,726
is that when people lie,

63
00:02:42,727 --> 00:02:45,146
they have a tic or a tell
that gives them away.

64
00:02:46,022 --> 00:02:48,691
- Like what?
- Um, fidgeting,

65
00:02:48,692 --> 00:02:50,025
avoiding eye contact.

66
00:02:50,026 --> 00:02:51,778
An unusual rise in vocal tone.

67
00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:57,367
Grandpa, you love Mom and Sam
the same, right?

68
00:02:57,784 --> 00:02:59,224
Yeah, of course I do.

69
00:03:04,291 --> 00:03:06,125
I can't believe how grown up
the kids are.

70
00:03:06,126 --> 00:03:07,835
Well, you've been gone a long time.

71
00:03:07,836 --> 00:03:09,545
You know, you spent all
that time in North Korea...

72
00:03:09,546 --> 00:03:11,756
- Dad.
- My mistake, South Korea.

73
00:03:12,674 --> 00:03:14,675
You know I can't tell you.

74
00:03:14,676 --> 00:03:16,260
And I also know how hard it is

75
00:03:16,261 --> 00:03:17,720
for you to not know where I've been.

76
00:03:17,721 --> 00:03:19,555
Well, it's a good thing for you

77
00:03:19,556 --> 00:03:21,432
'cause you're on that admiral track.

78
00:03:21,433 --> 00:03:23,517
Something you've always wanted
since you were a kid.

79
00:03:23,518 --> 00:03:27,313
Yeah, well, I also wanted
to be a dinosaur, so...

80
00:03:29,107 --> 00:03:30,399
I'm glad to be home.

81
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,111
Yeah. Me too. Really missed you, kid.

82
00:03:33,862 --> 00:03:37,574
So, my loss is the Philippines' gain?

83
00:03:39,451 --> 00:03:40,535
Nope.

84
00:03:43,121 --> 00:03:45,039
You know, Cyprus is on the water.

85
00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:46,373
It is Cyprus.

86
00:03:46,374 --> 00:03:48,042
Could be.

87
00:03:48,043 --> 00:03:49,043
Cleveland?

88
00:03:50,099 --> 00:03:51,773
♪ Yo, I'll tell you what I want ♪

89
00:03:51,774 --> 00:03:53,039
♪ What I really, really want ♪

90
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,340
♪ So tell me what you want,
what you really, really want ♪

91
00:03:55,341 --> 00:03:57,426
♪ I'll tell you what I want,
what I really, really want ♪

92
00:03:57,427 --> 00:03:59,386
♪ So tell me what you want,
what you really, really want ♪

93
00:03:59,387 --> 00:04:01,805
♪ I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna ♪

94
00:04:01,806 --> 00:04:03,348
♪ I wanna really, really,
really wanna zigaziga ♪

95
00:04:03,349 --> 00:04:04,683
♪ Ah! ♪

96
00:04:08,063 --> 00:04:09,688
I'll tell you what I really want.

97
00:04:09,689 --> 00:04:12,233
For these mushrooms to kick in faster.

98
00:04:13,026 --> 00:04:14,526
Hey, guys.

99
00:04:14,527 --> 00:04:16,487
- Oh, hey, you made it.
- Yeah, of course.

100
00:04:16,488 --> 00:04:18,739
You know Gabe and Stitch.
This is my brother.

101
00:04:18,740 --> 00:04:20,449
- Sam, this is my boyfriend, Andy.
- Hey.

102
00:04:20,450 --> 00:04:22,035
He's, uh... Well, look at him.

103
00:04:23,453 --> 00:04:25,371
Oh, it's nice to put a name
to the face of the guy

104
00:04:25,372 --> 00:04:27,414
that Gabe says
he can do more pull-ups than.

105
00:04:27,415 --> 00:04:29,417
- Hmm.
- Twelve.

106
00:04:30,085 --> 00:04:32,629
It's not important. But it's 12.

107
00:04:34,339 --> 00:04:37,758
Andy is a lawyer.
And he's never been arrested.

108
00:04:38,927 --> 00:04:40,094
I did a background check.

109
00:04:40,095 --> 00:04:41,720
But, unless you kill puppies,
we're good.

110
00:04:41,721 --> 00:04:43,348
And even then.

111
00:04:44,974 --> 00:04:48,435
- Hi, I'm Amelie.
- Hi. Nice to meet you, Amelie.

112
00:04:48,436 --> 00:04:51,355
- Stop that. Bring it in.
- Okay.

113
00:04:51,356 --> 00:04:55,527
Um, I'm a dancer,
but I minored in physics.

114
00:04:56,152 --> 00:04:59,696
The point is, I'm not defined
by being Gabe's girlfriend.

115
00:04:59,697 --> 00:05:01,866
I mean, what does "girlfriend"
even mean?

116
00:05:02,492 --> 00:05:04,034
It means that we live together

117
00:05:04,035 --> 00:05:05,828
in a monogamous sexual relationship.

118
00:05:05,829 --> 00:05:08,288
Shh! Stop.

119
00:05:08,289 --> 00:05:10,875
You know what? You guys
mind if I sing you a song?

120
00:05:11,501 --> 00:05:13,168
Oh. Oh!

121
00:05:13,169 --> 00:05:15,755
You brought a guitar. Huh. To karaoke.

122
00:05:16,798 --> 00:05:19,299
You know, the, uh,
the music's provided, right?

123
00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:22,302
Music is provided, but it is BYOA.

124
00:05:22,303 --> 00:05:24,054
That A is for awesomeness.

125
00:05:24,055 --> 00:05:27,391
Stitch, I'll Make Love to You.

126
00:05:27,392 --> 00:05:31,020
Uh. The... The song. Uh, Boyz II Men.

127
00:05:31,604 --> 00:05:33,313
I really feel like the right thing to do

128
00:05:33,314 --> 00:05:35,732
is to protect him from himself.

129
00:05:35,733 --> 00:05:36,943
And play.

130
00:05:42,157 --> 00:05:44,408
♪ Close your eyes ♪

131
00:05:44,409 --> 00:05:46,411
♪ Make a wish ♪

132
00:05:47,662 --> 00:05:49,455
Made one. You still have the guitar.

133
00:05:49,456 --> 00:05:51,623
♪ ...the candlelight ♪

134
00:05:51,624 --> 00:05:53,375
♪ For tonight! ♪

135
00:05:53,376 --> 00:05:56,212
♪ Is just your night ♪

136
00:05:57,046 --> 00:05:59,007
I should have protected him
from himself.

137
00:05:59,716 --> 00:06:02,217
This is Black-on-Black crime.

138
00:06:02,218 --> 00:06:04,511
♪ I’ll make love to you ♪

139
00:06:04,512 --> 00:06:06,805
♪ If you want me to ♪

140
00:06:06,806 --> 00:06:09,641
♪ And I'll hold you tight ♪

141
00:06:09,642 --> 00:06:12,019
♪ Baby, all through the night ♪

142
00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:14,063
♪ I'll make love to you ♪

143
00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:16,315
♪ Like you want me to ♪

144
00:06:16,316 --> 00:06:17,774
♪ And I'll... ♪

145
00:06:17,775 --> 00:06:20,486
This is the most painful thing
I've ever experienced.

146
00:06:20,487 --> 00:06:22,739
And I fist-fought a dude
from the Taliban.

147
00:06:24,532 --> 00:06:25,741
What are you talking about?

148
00:06:25,742 --> 00:06:27,494
This couldn’t be going any better.

149
00:06:28,244 --> 00:06:29,411
Guitar solo!

150
00:06:31,372 --> 00:06:33,124
And it just got better!

151
00:06:38,713 --> 00:06:40,673
Do you guys remember when he was hot?

152
00:06:42,383 --> 00:06:44,135
I missed you, babe.

153
00:06:48,431 --> 00:06:50,474
Well, you know the old saying,

154
00:06:50,475 --> 00:06:52,602
you never really know a man
until he karaokes.

155
00:06:53,853 --> 00:06:55,812
You don't have
to be enjoying this so much.

156
00:06:55,813 --> 00:06:56,980
Where did Sam go?

157
00:06:56,981 --> 00:06:58,649
Well, he certainly didn't
tell me a secret

158
00:06:58,650 --> 00:07:00,692
and go to the bar.

159
00:07:00,693 --> 00:07:03,028
- What?
- Sam's not gonna re-enlist.

160
00:07:03,029 --> 00:07:05,322
What?! That's insane.

161
00:07:05,323 --> 00:07:07,115
Not as insane as bringing
your own guitar to karaoke,

162
00:07:07,116 --> 00:07:08,825
but close.

163
00:07:08,826 --> 00:07:10,410
Alright, Stitch,
let's cue up a little ditty

164
00:07:10,411 --> 00:07:11,663
called American Pie.

165
00:07:13,248 --> 00:07:15,208
I gotta see this. He brought headgear!

166
00:07:23,841 --> 00:07:25,926
You're quitting the Navy?!

167
00:07:25,927 --> 00:07:28,137
I guess pinky promises
mean nothing to Gabe.

168
00:07:29,681 --> 00:07:31,598
I've dedicated 20 years
of my life to the military,

169
00:07:31,599 --> 00:07:33,600
and I'm ready for the next thing.

170
00:07:33,601 --> 00:07:36,937
Oh, my God, Dad is gonna freak!
When are you gonna tell him?

171
00:07:36,938 --> 00:07:38,814
And can I be there? And possibly film it

172
00:07:38,815 --> 00:07:40,608
and send it out as my Christmas card?

173
00:07:41,901 --> 00:07:44,486
I'm waiting for the right moment.

174
00:07:44,487 --> 00:07:46,738
Smart. 'Cause he is
gonna be disappointed.

175
00:07:46,739 --> 00:07:48,740
But just know, deep down,

176
00:07:48,741 --> 00:07:51,077
he's also gonna be really furious.

177
00:07:51,828 --> 00:07:53,078
You're not helping.

178
00:07:53,079 --> 00:07:54,580
- And are you smiling?
- What?

179
00:07:54,581 --> 00:07:56,207
- No. Cheek cramp.
- Yeah.

180
00:07:57,625 --> 00:07:59,543
But for real, I love you,
and I will support you

181
00:07:59,544 --> 00:08:01,253
every step of the way.

182
00:08:01,254 --> 00:08:03,922
Not because I wanna see
the golden boy crash and burn.

183
00:08:03,923 --> 00:08:06,341
Like I said, for support.

184
00:08:11,514 --> 00:08:13,098
- Good news.
- Mm.

185
00:08:13,099 --> 00:08:14,266
I just threw down my credit card.

186
00:08:14,267 --> 00:08:17,102
We got three more hours.
If I'm payin', I'm playin'!

187
00:08:21,899 --> 00:08:22,983
Carter's coming.

188
00:08:22,984 --> 00:08:24,651
I need to find out
if he stole my video game.

189
00:08:24,652 --> 00:08:26,486
- What do I do?
- Okay.

190
00:08:26,487 --> 00:08:27,946
You're just trying
to gather intelligence.

191
00:08:27,947 --> 00:08:31,741
Intelligence from Carter? Good luck.

192
00:08:31,742 --> 00:08:34,161
Okay, establish a baseline of behavior

193
00:08:34,162 --> 00:08:35,537
for when he's telling the truth.

194
00:08:35,538 --> 00:08:38,708
And then look for deviations
when the target is lying.

195
00:08:40,918 --> 00:08:42,002
Hey, Carter.

196
00:08:42,003 --> 00:08:44,296
- What time is it?
- Let me check.

197
00:08:44,297 --> 00:08:45,590
Time for you to get a watch.

198
00:08:49,552 --> 00:08:51,303
Walked right into that one.

199
00:08:51,304 --> 00:08:52,764
Carter, out!

200
00:09:04,192 --> 00:09:05,817
See?

201
00:09:05,818 --> 00:09:08,571
I can't play mind games
when he doesn't have the parts.

202
00:09:10,198 --> 00:09:11,948
Don't you moonwalk away from me!

203
00:09:11,949 --> 00:09:13,659
Ugh! Stop shouting.

204
00:09:13,660 --> 00:09:16,578
I drank so much last night.

205
00:09:16,579 --> 00:09:18,872
I browned out between
Andy doing Purple Rain

206
00:09:18,873 --> 00:09:20,875
and Andy doing acoustic Purple Rain.

207
00:09:21,793 --> 00:09:24,629
Yeah, that was the song
that was formerly known as good.

208
00:09:26,631 --> 00:09:29,383
Well, good morning, kids. Whoa.

209
00:09:29,384 --> 00:09:30,885
Wow, you look terrible.

210
00:09:32,387 --> 00:09:33,763
And you smell worse.

211
00:09:35,014 --> 00:09:38,726
Do we have to have another
little "surprise party"?

212
00:09:40,103 --> 00:09:41,771
Don't say party.

213
00:09:42,522 --> 00:09:44,606
Hey, you remember that
admiral friend of mine?

214
00:09:44,607 --> 00:09:46,358
Thinking maybe you guys could connect.

215
00:09:46,359 --> 00:09:49,277
Maybe guide you through the
process of becoming an admiral.

216
00:09:49,278 --> 00:09:52,740
And, you know, suggest a good
place to eat there in Yemen.

217
00:09:54,367 --> 00:09:56,660
Thanks. Yeah, I'll, uh,
I'll think about that.

218
00:09:56,661 --> 00:09:59,371
Great.

219
00:10:06,796 --> 00:10:08,256
Just throw up already.

220
00:10:14,470 --> 00:10:15,929
Why didn't you say anything?

221
00:10:15,930 --> 00:10:18,181
I told you, I'm waiting
for the right moment.

222
00:10:18,182 --> 00:10:20,434
Oh, no. The world’s bwavest man

223
00:10:20,435 --> 00:10:22,562
is afwaid of Daddy!

224
00:10:23,688 --> 00:10:25,773
You know, for a fun drunk,
you're a mean hangover.

225
00:10:26,899 --> 00:10:30,193
I'm just trying to be sensitive.
Dad just lost Mom.

226
00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:32,864
I don't want him
losing his only good kid.

227
00:10:33,197 --> 00:10:34,699
Hey! Well, fair.

228
00:10:36,117 --> 00:10:38,285
But I appreciate your help
and your support.

229
00:10:38,286 --> 00:10:39,703
And I appreciate your help

230
00:10:39,704 --> 00:10:41,371
directing me to the nearest trash can.

231
00:10:41,372 --> 00:10:43,457
Oh, yeah. Here you...

232
00:10:43,458 --> 00:10:44,583
- Thank you.
- Go.

233
00:10:46,169 --> 00:10:48,004
Aw, this reminds me of your Junior Prom.

234
00:10:49,922 --> 00:10:52,048
And your Senior Prom.

235
00:10:52,049 --> 00:10:53,593
Oh! And your wedding.

236
00:10:58,139 --> 00:10:59,765
I'm so proud of you, man.

237
00:10:59,766 --> 00:11:01,099
And you're protecting us
from communists,

238
00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:02,809
whether it's in strange countries,

239
00:11:02,810 --> 00:11:03,936
or Brooklyn.

240
00:11:05,021 --> 00:11:08,482
And, uh, my coffee protects
doctors from falling asleep

241
00:11:08,483 --> 00:11:09,858
in heart surgery.

242
00:11:09,859 --> 00:11:11,402
You're welcome, America.

243
00:11:13,404 --> 00:11:15,739
Hey, Unc, you got any cool battle scars?

244
00:11:15,740 --> 00:11:16,907
Oh, yeah. Shrapnel.

245
00:11:16,908 --> 00:11:19,201
And I stitched it up myself
with dental floss.

246
00:11:19,202 --> 00:11:20,577
Always be prepared.

247
00:11:20,578 --> 00:11:22,914
See, this is why I don't
waste it on my teeth.

248
00:11:26,167 --> 00:11:27,919
How do you have a girlfriend?

249
00:11:30,588 --> 00:11:31,880
- Hold on. Excuse me.
- Mm. Yeah.

250
00:11:31,881 --> 00:11:34,549
How much fun was the other night?

251
00:11:34,550 --> 00:11:36,301
We saw a whole other side of you, Andy.

252
00:11:36,302 --> 00:11:37,762
And I liked it.

253
00:11:39,138 --> 00:11:40,889
A lot.

254
00:11:40,890 --> 00:11:44,101
I know, man. When I do
karaoke, I just lose myself.

255
00:11:45,478 --> 00:11:48,606
Ugh! I should’ve done Lose Yourself.

256
00:11:50,441 --> 00:11:52,108
- You rap, too?
- Pfft.

257
00:11:52,109 --> 00:11:54,195
Man, save some talent
for the rest of us.

258
00:11:55,863 --> 00:11:58,323
Did, uh, did everyone get
some champagne?

259
00:11:58,324 --> 00:12:01,076
My dad wants you to know it's
American, not French.

260
00:12:01,077 --> 00:12:02,661
"It's half the price.

261
00:12:02,662 --> 00:12:04,302
And the grapes aren't
crushed by cowards."

262
00:12:05,748 --> 00:12:06,832
You know, I'm good, Mom.

263
00:12:06,833 --> 00:12:08,834
I found it a bit dry. Right?

264
00:12:11,712 --> 00:12:12,880
I've said too much.

265
00:12:14,465 --> 00:12:16,758
None for me, thanks.

266
00:12:16,759 --> 00:12:18,469
Just protecting the ole instrument.

267
00:12:20,429 --> 00:12:22,305
Hey, Sam, I just talked
to Admiral Masson.

268
00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:23,390
Oh.

269
00:12:23,391 --> 00:12:24,933
You never called him.

270
00:12:24,934 --> 00:12:26,602
Time to come clean.

271
00:12:27,478 --> 00:12:29,479
Uh, look, Dad, I was waiting
for the right moment

272
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:30,814
to tell you,

273
00:12:30,815 --> 00:12:32,732
which I now realize was
the car ride coming home

274
00:12:32,733 --> 00:12:33,817
back from the airport.

275
00:12:33,818 --> 00:12:35,235
Tell me what?

276
00:12:35,236 --> 00:12:37,946
I've decided to retire from the Navy.

277
00:12:37,947 --> 00:12:39,115
You tell him!

278
00:12:43,077 --> 00:12:45,246
- To become an actor.
- To do what?

279
00:12:52,253 --> 00:12:53,753
Dang it!

280
00:12:53,754 --> 00:12:55,715
I always clap at the wrong time.

281
00:12:56,299 --> 00:12:58,133
- Can we talk for a minute?
- Yeah.

282
00:12:58,134 --> 00:12:59,467
Excuse us.

283
00:12:59,468 --> 00:13:00,969
- I need you to come with me.
- Oh.

284
00:13:00,970 --> 00:13:03,179
Listen, why do I have to hear
this from the admiral?

285
00:13:03,180 --> 00:13:05,473
Okay, Dad. Sorry,
I didn't want to disappoint you.

286
00:13:05,474 --> 00:13:07,475
But honestly,
I didn't know how to tell you.

287
00:13:07,476 --> 00:13:08,977
But you're made for this.

288
00:13:08,978 --> 00:13:10,896
You got your analytic skills
from your mom,

289
00:13:10,897 --> 00:13:12,480
and look how far it's taken you.

290
00:13:12,481 --> 00:13:15,400
Yeah, well, now I wanna
follow my artistic side.

291
00:13:15,401 --> 00:13:17,485
Look, lots of former
military guys have gone on

292
00:13:17,486 --> 00:13:19,029
to become successful actors.

293
00:13:19,030 --> 00:13:20,614
Jimmy Stewart, Adam Driver...

294
00:13:20,615 --> 00:13:21,824
Bea Arthur.

295
00:13:24,327 --> 00:13:26,286
One of the Golden Girls!

296
00:13:26,287 --> 00:13:28,622
Dad, I know this is a lot to take in,

297
00:13:28,623 --> 00:13:30,540
but I'm serious about this.

298
00:13:30,541 --> 00:13:32,500
I'm, uh, gonna sign up
for improv classes.

299
00:13:32,501 --> 00:13:33,835
Ooh! Phew.

300
00:13:33,836 --> 00:13:35,236
Now, you're just trying to hurt me.

301
00:13:36,672 --> 00:13:38,715
You're on a path to become
an admiral in the Navy.

302
00:13:38,716 --> 00:13:40,717
This is something you've
wanted since you were a little boy.

303
00:13:40,718 --> 00:13:42,719
Yeah, well, acting is not that different

304
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,387
from what I do in Naval Intelligence.

305
00:13:44,388 --> 00:13:46,389
I pretend to be people
that I'm not all the time,

306
00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:48,183
and I'm good at it.

307
00:13:48,184 --> 00:13:52,520
I've done accents that would
get me canceled stateside.

308
00:13:52,521 --> 00:13:55,650
What I see is you throwing
away a great career for nothing.

309
00:13:56,692 --> 00:13:58,777
Sam just wants to follow his dream.

310
00:13:58,778 --> 00:14:00,487
And we should support that.

311
00:14:00,488 --> 00:14:02,114
Even if his dream is stupid.

312
00:14:04,700 --> 00:14:06,868
You're gonna do great.

313
00:14:06,869 --> 00:14:08,620
I can handle this on my own.

314
00:14:08,621 --> 00:14:11,874
Oh, see? That was good
acting. I almost believed him.

315
00:14:12,959 --> 00:14:14,876
You want to see some good acting?

316
00:14:14,877 --> 00:14:16,252
Hey,

317
00:14:16,253 --> 00:14:18,422
I think this is a great idea.

318
00:14:23,511 --> 00:14:25,553
That was actually pretty good.

319
00:14:30,267 --> 00:14:32,018
Here, I gotta hurry.

320
00:14:32,019 --> 00:14:34,562
A Girl Scout's selling cookies
right next to me.

321
00:14:34,563 --> 00:14:35,939
If she's there when I get back,

322
00:14:35,940 --> 00:14:38,445
she better be ready
to earn her bitch-slap badge.

323
00:14:39,652 --> 00:14:41,111
Does she have a limit on how many boxes

324
00:14:41,112 --> 00:14:42,779
of Do-si-dos you could buy?

325
00:14:42,780 --> 00:14:44,739
It's not important. Totally unrelated,

326
00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:45,950
I'll be right back.

327
00:14:47,368 --> 00:14:50,078
- So, how's your brother doing.
- Eh...

328
00:14:50,079 --> 00:14:52,914
I'm used to my dad being upset.
I've built up immunities.

329
00:14:52,915 --> 00:14:56,419
But Sam's like an unvaccinated
casino waitress in April 2020.

330
00:14:57,878 --> 00:14:59,422
Oh, wait, that was me.

331
00:15:00,965 --> 00:15:02,257
I never didn't have COVID.

332
00:15:02,258 --> 00:15:04,677
I tested positive every day
for eight months.

333
00:15:06,595 --> 00:15:08,722
Let me guess.
We're still talking about Sam?

334
00:15:08,723 --> 00:15:10,348
Ugh. I know you're upset.

335
00:15:10,349 --> 00:15:11,975
Yeah, I'm upset.

336
00:15:11,976 --> 00:15:13,601
He's always wanted to be an admiral.

337
00:15:13,602 --> 00:15:15,353
Now he's gonna just throw that all away?

338
00:15:15,354 --> 00:15:18,648
Well, maybe he'll play one on TV.

339
00:15:18,649 --> 00:15:20,650
On one of the channels
you watch, like two,

340
00:15:20,651 --> 00:15:22,360
or four, or seven.

341
00:15:22,361 --> 00:15:23,987
Yeah. You know what?

342
00:15:23,988 --> 00:15:26,698
Maybe he could play Cap'n Crunch's boss.

343
00:15:26,699 --> 00:15:28,617
Wait, Cap'n Crunch isn't an admiral?

344
00:15:29,869 --> 00:15:31,494
"Captain's" right in his name.

345
00:15:31,495 --> 00:15:33,164
Chocula's still a count, right?

346
00:15:35,666 --> 00:15:37,584
You know what, Dad?
Why don't you just cut Sam off

347
00:15:37,585 --> 00:15:39,335
like you did me for 15 years.

348
00:15:39,336 --> 00:15:41,004
Or, crazy thought,

349
00:15:41,005 --> 00:15:43,465
maybe for once in your life,
be the mature one.

350
00:15:43,466 --> 00:15:46,177
Now, if you'll excuse me, I
have to go choke out a Girl Scout.

351
00:15:49,346 --> 00:15:51,306
Stitch, you were in the service.

352
00:15:51,307 --> 00:15:52,432
Be honest with me.

353
00:15:52,433 --> 00:15:54,559
Do you think what Sam's doing is crazy?

354
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:56,561
Hey, come on, man, look,

355
00:15:56,562 --> 00:15:58,438
the man knows what he wants
to do with his life

356
00:15:58,439 --> 00:15:59,565
after the military.

357
00:16:00,191 --> 00:16:02,901
Not everybody has that. I didn't.

358
00:16:02,902 --> 00:16:05,278
You had a great second act.
You came to work here.

359
00:16:05,279 --> 00:16:08,073
Sam spent 20 years fighting
for other people's freedom.

360
00:16:08,074 --> 00:16:09,949
He deserves the same freedom

361
00:16:09,950 --> 00:16:12,118
to do whatever the hell he wants.

362
00:16:12,119 --> 00:16:14,538
To be an actor?

363
00:16:16,582 --> 00:16:20,002
I don't think I can get used to
Riley being the successful one.

364
00:16:21,170 --> 00:16:22,587
You'd be surprised, man.

365
00:16:22,588 --> 00:16:25,382
Your kids can make you proud
in all sorts of ways.

366
00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:28,134
Ding-dong! The witch is dead.

367
00:16:33,015 --> 00:16:35,850
Andy, sorry, we have a
strict "no music" policy.

368
00:16:35,851 --> 00:16:37,435
The jerk next door always complains.

369
00:16:37,436 --> 00:16:38,603
Your dad?

370
00:16:38,604 --> 00:16:40,856
I said what I said.

371
00:16:41,732 --> 00:16:43,817
You know what?
That's actually why I came.

372
00:16:43,818 --> 00:16:45,318
Oh, God.

373
00:16:45,319 --> 00:16:47,237
Riley,

374
00:16:47,238 --> 00:16:49,114
this one's for you.

375
00:16:50,324 --> 00:16:51,908
What the hell?

376
00:16:51,909 --> 00:16:53,660
I realized the other night

377
00:16:53,661 --> 00:16:55,411
that I took it a little too far
at karaoke.

378
00:16:55,412 --> 00:16:57,539
And I just wanted to make things right.

379
00:16:57,540 --> 00:16:59,875
It's not your fault.
You have pretty privilege.

380
00:17:01,585 --> 00:17:04,337
People let hot people
do whatever they want.

381
00:17:04,338 --> 00:17:06,339
It's why Idris Elba gets to be a DJ.

382
00:17:08,259 --> 00:17:10,551
Well, after seeing many, many...

383
00:17:10,552 --> 00:17:12,929
God, many videos of myself online,

384
00:17:12,930 --> 00:17:14,931
I realized that I have been, uh...

385
00:17:14,932 --> 00:17:17,977
What is the legal term?
It is a... douche canoe.

386
00:17:19,103 --> 00:17:20,185
You know what?

387
00:17:20,186 --> 00:17:21,786
I like that you're not good
at something.

388
00:17:22,481 --> 00:17:23,815
Thank you?

389
00:17:23,816 --> 00:17:26,108
No. People like you and my brother

390
00:17:26,109 --> 00:17:27,694
can be a little intimidating.

391
00:17:27,695 --> 00:17:30,405
So, I kinda like
that you're not perfect.

392
00:17:30,406 --> 00:17:31,906
Oh.

393
00:17:31,907 --> 00:17:33,491
Well, I kinda like
that you're not perfect, too.

394
00:17:33,492 --> 00:17:35,244
What? Okay, hold on.

395
00:17:36,245 --> 00:17:38,538
No, I mean, seriously, I ran
a background check on you.

396
00:17:38,539 --> 00:17:41,624
- Oh, God. Mm.
- No. It's fine.

397
00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:43,960
You do have an active warrant in Utah.

398
00:17:43,961 --> 00:17:46,504
Yeah, well, not to brag,
but I might have one here, too,

399
00:17:46,505 --> 00:17:47,965
if that Girl Scout presses charges.

400
00:17:50,342 --> 00:17:52,052
- You mind if I...?
- Go ahead.

401
00:17:54,597 --> 00:17:58,391
No! Look what they've done to my boy!

402
00:17:58,392 --> 00:18:00,811
Only one pepperoni left.
You want it, Georgia?

403
00:18:02,021 --> 00:18:04,898
No, Carter should have it.

404
00:18:04,899 --> 00:18:07,317
He's my brother,
he deserves something nice.

405
00:18:07,318 --> 00:18:09,235
Wait, you're being nice to him?

406
00:18:09,236 --> 00:18:10,946
Okay, missy, I don't like this one bit.

407
00:18:12,406 --> 00:18:14,532
She's trying to trick me.
You have been all week.

408
00:18:14,533 --> 00:18:16,075
- No I haven't.
- Just admit it,

409
00:18:16,076 --> 00:18:17,869
you want to know what happened
to your video game.

410
00:18:17,870 --> 00:18:20,038
- I think I'm entitled to it.
- You want answers?

411
00:18:20,039 --> 00:18:22,625
- I want the truth!
- You can't handle the truth!

412
00:18:24,460 --> 00:18:26,002
Zelda’s a free spirit.

413
00:18:26,003 --> 00:18:28,504
She belongs to no man,
woman, or forest nymph.

414
00:18:28,505 --> 00:18:31,592
- So, you did take it!
- You're damn right I did!

415
00:18:33,093 --> 00:18:36,179
'Cause you don't appreciate
the nonlinear storytelling.

416
00:18:36,180 --> 00:18:38,139
Or... Or the catchy music.

417
00:18:38,140 --> 00:18:40,100
You need me to play that game!

418
00:18:45,731 --> 00:18:47,149
Cracked him like an egg.

419
00:18:48,567 --> 00:18:50,611
That's it. She's the captain now.

420
00:18:52,905 --> 00:18:54,405
Hey, Sam, can we talk for a minute?

421
00:18:54,406 --> 00:18:55,490
Talk or yell?

422
00:18:55,491 --> 00:18:57,076
I'll just clean up.

423
00:18:58,869 --> 00:19:01,371
Look, Dad, I'm sorry
I wasn't upfront with you,

424
00:19:01,372 --> 00:19:03,539
but I've made my decision.

425
00:19:03,540 --> 00:19:04,707
This is what I'm gonna do.

426
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:06,960
That's exactly what I said to my dad.

427
00:19:06,961 --> 00:19:08,753
Do you remember when
your grandpa talked to me

428
00:19:08,754 --> 00:19:10,255
about taking over the machine shop?

429
00:19:10,256 --> 00:19:12,507
Yeah. You wanted to be
an industrial designer.

430
00:19:12,508 --> 00:19:14,259
Right. We fought about it,

431
00:19:14,260 --> 00:19:16,678
fought, fought, fought,
he's a very stubborn man.

432
00:19:16,679 --> 00:19:18,263
Hmm. Sounds like someone I know.

433
00:19:18,264 --> 00:19:19,765
- Could we...?
- Continue.

434
00:19:21,934 --> 00:19:24,727
Listen, my dad passed
before we had a chance

435
00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:26,312
to patch up our differences like that.

436
00:19:26,313 --> 00:19:27,522
It always stuck with me,

437
00:19:27,523 --> 00:19:29,817
and I couldn't stop thinking about this.

438
00:19:30,567 --> 00:19:33,319
You know, and I don't want that
to be between the two of us.

439
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:35,447
Ah. Told you you should
get that mole checked.

440
00:19:36,991 --> 00:19:37,991
I'll stop.

441
00:19:39,535 --> 00:19:41,619
I just want you to be happy. Period.

442
00:19:41,620 --> 00:19:45,832
And if that means expressing
your artistic side, like me,

443
00:19:45,833 --> 00:19:47,583
and that art happens to be acting,

444
00:19:47,584 --> 00:19:48,961
then, so be it, son.

445
00:19:49,753 --> 00:19:51,129
- Thanks, Dad.
- Yeah.

446
00:19:51,130 --> 00:19:53,840
So, you don't think me wanting
to be an actor is stupid?

447
00:19:53,841 --> 00:19:55,216
No. Huh-uh.

448
00:19:55,217 --> 00:19:57,057
I think it's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.

449
00:19:58,429 --> 00:19:59,929
But who knows? You might get cast

450
00:19:59,930 --> 00:20:01,890
as the guy that's really
in the Deadpool costume.

451
00:20:03,142 --> 00:20:05,519
While Ryan Reynolds is getting
his feet done in his trailer.

452
00:20:07,438 --> 00:20:09,314
But I'm proud of you.

453
00:20:09,315 --> 00:20:11,567
I have been, and I always will be, son.

454
00:20:13,277 --> 00:20:14,653
You too, Riley.

455
00:20:16,405 --> 00:20:17,906
You really turned your life around.

456
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:21,034
We're having a little moment here

457
00:20:21,035 --> 00:20:22,395
and you had to add yourself to it.

458
00:20:24,747 --> 00:20:27,166
- Sorry.
- Golden boy is back.

459
00:20:34,631 --> 00:20:36,758
Contact. Right.

460
00:20:41,180 --> 00:20:42,764
Talk to me, Goose.

461
00:20:42,765 --> 00:20:43,765
Talk to me.

462
00:20:47,353 --> 00:20:48,771
And scene.

463
00:20:51,482 --> 00:20:54,568
Wow. That was... Wow!

464
00:20:55,944 --> 00:20:57,654
It was great.

465
00:21:00,032 --> 00:21:02,034
Wait. Why was he so upset about a goose?

466
00:21:03,702 --> 00:21:05,411
Hey, Dad.

467
00:21:05,412 --> 00:21:06,830
What did you think?

468
00:21:07,539 --> 00:21:09,750
I am not at liberty to say.

469
00:21:13,796 --> 00:21:16,924
That was... That was beautiful, man.

470
00:21:19,259 --> 00:21:21,344
Hey, thanks, buddy.

471
00:21:21,345 --> 00:21:23,222
- You... Wow!
- Thanks.

472
00:21:23,223 --> 00:21:26,245
<b>Sync and corrections by btsix
www.MY-SUBS.com</b>


