1 00:00:15,708 --> 00:00:19,250 Come on, Blitzo. You can't hide in your office all day. 2 00:00:19,333 --> 00:00:21,791 Honey, I told you I'm with a client! 3 00:00:21,875 --> 00:00:24,666 Yeah, about your client. People want the coat rack back. 4 00:00:24,750 --> 00:00:26,291 Should we just get a new one? 5 00:00:26,375 --> 00:00:29,291 Loony, Daddy's going through something called depression-rage. 6 00:00:29,375 --> 00:00:32,541 Okay? It's like regular depression but with some asshole to blame. 7 00:00:32,625 --> 00:00:34,833 By "asshole," do you mean Stolas? 8 00:00:34,916 --> 00:00:37,500 Or is this one of those self-loathing things? 9 00:00:37,583 --> 00:00:39,208 Sweetheart, I love you, and you're adorable, 10 00:00:39,291 --> 00:00:40,625 but you have no idea what it is like 11 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:44,625 when someone you really desire is out diddling someone else. 12 00:00:44,708 --> 00:00:48,083 Uh-huh. Yeah, well, he's working here, and he's living with us. 13 00:00:48,166 --> 00:00:50,083 You kind of have to suck it up. 14 00:00:50,166 --> 00:00:51,833 Can't you, like, be mature about this? 15 00:00:51,916 --> 00:00:53,291 I am fucking mature! 16 00:00:53,375 --> 00:00:55,333 That's not the problem! 17 00:00:58,916 --> 00:01:00,333 Are you so lonely it hurts? 18 00:01:00,416 --> 00:01:02,625 Oh, my gods, it hurts so bad! 19 00:01:02,708 --> 00:01:05,708 Are you thinking maybe you could do with a romantic embrace of a stranger 20 00:01:05,791 --> 00:01:07,375 to keep you warm at night? 21 00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:10,083 - Oh, it's so cold it hurts! - Well, lucky for you, 22 00:01:10,166 --> 00:01:14,041 there's a service that can link you up with singles like this and whatnot. 23 00:01:14,125 --> 00:01:16,750 Hello. Would you like to be on top of me? 24 00:01:16,833 --> 00:01:19,541 What a catch. Who else is out there? 25 00:01:19,625 --> 00:01:22,916 I like, uh, well, not specifically, but, for example, feet. 26 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,916 Singles are standing by to take your call! 27 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,833 I'm looking for Jeffrey. He knows what he did. 28 00:01:28,916 --> 00:01:30,625 Hubba, hubba! 29 00:01:30,708 --> 00:01:34,541 I'm looking for someone to be mean to me, because I'm a real piece of shit. 30 00:01:34,625 --> 00:01:37,833 Every moment you're not calling is a person you're not meeting. 31 00:01:37,916 --> 00:01:41,500 I'm looking for someone who can really appreciate my Fizzarolli impression. 32 00:01:41,583 --> 00:01:43,083 Hey, what's up? 33 00:01:43,166 --> 00:01:44,166 Fuck! I fucked it up! 34 00:01:44,250 --> 00:01:45,708 This is what's out there. 35 00:01:45,791 --> 00:01:47,291 What? Do you want to be alone? 36 00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:49,625 I want a guy who's into the obscure holes. 37 00:01:49,708 --> 00:01:52,000 I'm talking nostrils, baby. 38 00:01:52,083 --> 00:01:53,750 You think you're too good for this? You ain't. 39 00:01:53,833 --> 00:01:55,083 I like planes. I like space. 40 00:01:55,166 --> 00:01:57,541 I like mountains. I just... I just like to be up. 41 00:01:57,625 --> 00:02:01,041 Sometimes I'll just climb a ladder. Just whatever gets me up. 42 00:02:01,125 --> 00:02:03,458 If you could do better, you wouldn't be watching. 43 00:02:03,541 --> 00:02:06,291 Oh, like, I'm not saying it's this, but, you know, maybe piss on me? 44 00:02:06,375 --> 00:02:07,458 Deal with it! 45 00:02:07,541 --> 00:02:11,083 ♪ If you're feeling tired of feeling so lonely ♪ 46 00:02:11,166 --> 00:02:12,625 ♪ then give us a call ♪ 47 00:02:12,708 --> 00:02:15,000 ♪ Yeah, just pick up the phonely ♪ 48 00:02:15,083 --> 00:02:18,291 ♪ It's our guarantee if you call I.M.P. ♪ 49 00:02:18,375 --> 00:02:21,291 - What?! - ♪ you'll immediately meet people ♪ 50 00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:25,083 {\an8}- Oh, I'll give you a call, motherfucker. - ♪ Just dial 555-555-443 ♪ 51 00:02:25,166 --> 00:02:27,583 {\an8}♪ 545-664-44... ♪ 52 00:02:27,666 --> 00:02:30,083 Wait! Too fast! Tits! 53 00:02:30,166 --> 00:02:32,000 ♪ 5555-124 ♪ 54 00:02:32,083 --> 00:02:34,083 ♪ 444-5555 ♪ 55 00:02:34,166 --> 00:02:37,708 ♪ 444-443-3336 ♪ 56 00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:39,208 ♪ Picture of a dinosaur ♪ 57 00:02:39,291 --> 00:02:41,791 ♪ 5442-222 ♪ 58 00:02:41,875 --> 00:02:43,000 ♪ then a bunch of threes ♪ 59 00:02:43,083 --> 00:02:44,875 ♪ 22-479 ♪ 60 00:02:44,958 --> 00:02:48,166 {\an8}♪ Immediately Meet People ♪ 61 00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:51,083 {\an8}I say, I say, call today! 62 00:02:51,166 --> 00:02:52,875 Ah, tits! 63 00:02:52,958 --> 00:02:54,916 I'm stepping out for a-- 64 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,833 - What the fuck is happening here? - It's Moxxie's birthday, Blitzo. 65 00:02:58,916 --> 00:03:01,291 - I knew that. - Did you? 66 00:03:01,375 --> 00:03:03,666 Yeah, well, no offense, but one of you fuckers 67 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:06,708 is my ex, who's currently in the rebound process, and-- 68 00:03:06,791 --> 00:03:08,750 I don't know-- I'm just not trying to think about 69 00:03:08,833 --> 00:03:12,875 what that beak munched on last night, 'cause it sure as shit wasn't cake! 70 00:03:12,958 --> 00:03:14,625 Okay, this has gone far enough. 71 00:03:14,708 --> 00:03:17,083 First off, I am not your ex. 72 00:03:17,166 --> 00:03:19,250 Yeah, well, you're my... 73 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,125 You're my something at least. 74 00:03:21,208 --> 00:03:23,458 Well, right now, I'm your employee, 75 00:03:23,541 --> 00:03:25,291 and I'd appreciate it if you could show me 76 00:03:25,375 --> 00:03:26,916 some professionalism. 77 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,875 There's your rack back, you simps. 78 00:03:31,541 --> 00:03:35,541 Blitzo! That's no way to treat Stolas for being a slut. 79 00:03:35,625 --> 00:03:37,125 You're a slut, too, 80 00:03:37,208 --> 00:03:40,166 so you don't get to depression-rage on my husband's birthday! 81 00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:42,458 - Oh, I am not a slut. - Chaz. 82 00:03:44,375 --> 00:03:46,166 Your husband's a gourd! 83 00:03:48,458 --> 00:03:50,041 Mmm. 84 00:03:57,458 --> 00:04:00,083 Where is that little possum-fucking rat's dick?! 85 00:04:00,166 --> 00:04:01,666 Do you have an appointment? 86 00:04:01,750 --> 00:04:04,750 Even better, I have a lawsuit! 87 00:04:06,875 --> 00:04:08,666 I say, I say! 88 00:04:08,750 --> 00:04:10,291 You've said enough! 89 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:16,083 I get it. You're hurt because I used a similar-sounding name for my business. 90 00:04:16,166 --> 00:04:19,958 It's not similar. It's identical, you fucking moron. 91 00:04:20,041 --> 00:04:21,333 Change the name now! 92 00:04:21,416 --> 00:04:24,583 Come now, Blitz-o. I ain't done nothing. 93 00:04:24,666 --> 00:04:28,916 You can come all you want, just change... the... name! 94 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,625 I'd love to do that for you, but I just can't, 95 00:04:31,708 --> 00:04:33,916 when I already got the rights to I.M.P., 96 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:38,041 which the registrar's office said you never filed for. 97 00:04:38,125 --> 00:04:40,958 Where the fuck are those documents? I'll shred them myself! 98 00:04:41,041 --> 00:04:43,083 Yeah! Motherfucker! 99 00:04:43,166 --> 00:04:44,791 Good! I hate paper, too! 100 00:04:44,875 --> 00:04:47,625 - Hey, hey, you stop! No, no! - Paper-- Oh! Paper cut! 101 00:04:47,708 --> 00:04:50,416 Hey, singles, uh, stop him! 102 00:04:53,416 --> 00:04:54,916 - Punch! - Uh-oh! 103 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:59,833 Got us coffee, babe, but... it tastes like piss. 104 00:04:59,916 --> 00:05:01,875 - Blitz-o?! - Verosika?! 105 00:05:01,958 --> 00:05:07,166 I say, I say, let's all be mature adults about this here. 106 00:05:07,250 --> 00:05:10,291 Let's not lose our heads, I say, I say. 107 00:05:10,375 --> 00:05:13,833 - You're about to lose your fucking accent. - Oh. 108 00:05:13,916 --> 00:05:17,541 You don't get to be angry that I found someone actually decent. 109 00:05:17,625 --> 00:05:21,000 No, I don't, but I am anyway. Shit on me. 110 00:05:21,083 --> 00:05:26,208 I mean, I know I'm in Hell, but this day has been one butt-fucker. 111 00:05:26,291 --> 00:05:31,291 Look, I might've taken your ex, and I might've taken your company name, but-- 112 00:05:31,375 --> 00:05:33,125 Now you're taking my patience. 113 00:05:34,583 --> 00:05:35,791 Ow! 114 00:05:35,875 --> 00:05:38,125 I'm gonna sue you for everything you've got 115 00:05:38,208 --> 00:05:41,416 and let my daughter mangle what's left! 116 00:05:44,291 --> 00:05:46,750 Oh, these fucking doors these days. 117 00:05:46,833 --> 00:05:48,500 You push it. 118 00:05:48,583 --> 00:05:49,791 Get fucked! 119 00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:54,125 Thank you all for being here tonight. 120 00:05:54,208 --> 00:05:56,041 You're paying us to be here, sir. 121 00:05:56,125 --> 00:05:58,916 That was never in writing. Look, we got to hit him where it hurts. 122 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,625 These are the addresses of his family members 123 00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:03,166 and a list of places that sell cheap bombs. 124 00:06:03,250 --> 00:06:05,291 Blitzo, I ain't killing the Wackfords. 125 00:06:05,375 --> 00:06:06,958 They're friends of my family. 126 00:06:07,041 --> 00:06:10,208 You know, Blitzo, maybe we should go about this more legally. 127 00:06:10,291 --> 00:06:11,458 I'd be happy to help. 128 00:06:11,541 --> 00:06:14,625 You know I spent years studying Hell's judicial system. 129 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:18,750 Yeah? You sure you could schedule time between all those randos you're porking? 130 00:06:18,833 --> 00:06:21,333 What happened to being mature about things? 131 00:06:21,416 --> 00:06:22,958 I am being mature about-- 132 00:06:23,041 --> 00:06:25,000 Oh. Okay. All right. Fine. 133 00:06:25,083 --> 00:06:31,083 Stolas, how does your cock-gobbling beak propose we handle this? 134 00:06:36,791 --> 00:06:38,375 Oh. 135 00:06:38,458 --> 00:06:40,708 Well... 136 00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:45,791 She knows bullshit when she smells it. 137 00:06:45,875 --> 00:06:47,041 That's bullshit! 138 00:06:47,125 --> 00:06:50,875 This... is Judge Jiner's House of Judgment. 139 00:06:50,958 --> 00:06:54,083 {\an8}28-year-old Wallace Wackford of Wrath 140 00:06:54,166 --> 00:06:58,458 {\an8}claims to have innocently started his dating hotline business, I.M.P., 141 00:06:58,541 --> 00:07:03,125 {\an8}as a way to provide singles with a service of care here in the lonely depths of Hell. 142 00:07:03,208 --> 00:07:07,708 I say, I say, I do, I do what I can. 143 00:07:07,791 --> 00:07:09,208 I can, I say, I do. 144 00:07:09,291 --> 00:07:11,041 Aw! 145 00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:14,166 {\an8}Blitzo Buckzo claims Wallace Wackford stole the likeness 146 00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:15,500 {\an8}and logo of his company's name. 147 00:07:15,583 --> 00:07:19,750 He will also be represented by the banished Goetian royal, Stolas. 148 00:07:19,833 --> 00:07:22,666 Gonna be hard to overlook that during the trial. 149 00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:26,916 And now, please rise for the Honorable Judge Jiner. 150 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,416 Sit down. 151 00:07:30,208 --> 00:07:33,416 So, Blitz-o, you're suing Wally Wackford. 152 00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:35,000 Heard of you, by the way. 153 00:07:35,083 --> 00:07:37,583 I use the Wackford Hole Sucker every morning. 154 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,666 Oh, you mean the Wackford Soul Sucker. 155 00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:41,458 Oh, that's what it's for. 156 00:07:41,541 --> 00:07:43,458 If I may keep us on subject, 157 00:07:43,541 --> 00:07:46,958 my client is suing this snake oil salesman 158 00:07:47,041 --> 00:07:51,666 on account of him using the very clearly established I.M.P. acronym, 159 00:07:51,750 --> 00:07:55,083 regardless of whether or not it was legally registered. 160 00:07:55,166 --> 00:07:58,416 I hear you're legally registered, you classist pervert! 161 00:07:58,500 --> 00:07:59,708 Sex offender! 162 00:07:59,791 --> 00:08:02,541 I am not a sex offender. 163 00:08:02,625 --> 00:08:04,958 Well, I find your sex offensive. 164 00:08:08,083 --> 00:08:10,750 Wally, what do you have to say about their claims? 165 00:08:10,833 --> 00:08:15,541 Well, I say, I say, my business is entirely legitimate. 166 00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:18,541 Just look at how much good it's done in such a short time. 167 00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:25,125 Look at all them beautiful singles I helped find true love. 168 00:08:25,208 --> 00:08:28,375 Not a single single we couldn't help mingle 169 00:08:28,458 --> 00:08:31,375 or get laid. 170 00:08:35,791 --> 00:08:37,916 - Wake me up when he's guilty. - Which one? 171 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,083 Eh. 172 00:08:39,166 --> 00:08:41,541 May I speak, Your... Judgy-ness? 173 00:08:41,625 --> 00:08:43,291 Your... Your Judgesty? 174 00:08:43,375 --> 00:08:45,833 - "Your Honor." - Oh, no, just "Blitzo" is fine. 175 00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:48,333 - Speak, dickhead! - Okay, with all due respect, 176 00:08:48,416 --> 00:08:52,166 Wallace Wackford may kindly gobble my fat, red cock. 177 00:08:52,250 --> 00:08:53,916 Oh! 178 00:08:54,916 --> 00:08:56,708 No, he didn't! 179 00:08:56,791 --> 00:08:59,041 - You want to come again? - I don't want to come at all 180 00:08:59,125 --> 00:09:02,375 knowing he's fucking that hole I used to know! 181 00:09:03,791 --> 00:09:07,458 I say, I say, don't talk to her that way! 182 00:09:07,541 --> 00:09:09,875 "I say, I say, don't talk to her that way." 183 00:09:09,958 --> 00:09:11,208 That's what you sound like. 184 00:09:11,291 --> 00:09:14,458 - Oh! - Drama! 185 00:09:14,541 --> 00:09:17,125 You're getting all this, right? 186 00:09:17,208 --> 00:09:19,208 Your Honor, with no due respect, 187 00:09:19,291 --> 00:09:24,125 he's just jealous because my Wally is better than him in every way. 188 00:09:24,208 --> 00:09:25,541 Bitch, please. 189 00:09:25,625 --> 00:09:27,833 He's kind, and he's funny, 190 00:09:27,916 --> 00:09:31,125 and you wouldn't believe how good he eats me out. 191 00:09:33,458 --> 00:09:35,708 - Ew! - Yuck. 192 00:09:35,791 --> 00:09:39,916 Your Honor, this isn't relevant to the case at all. 193 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,916 I think we should focus on the fact that my client-- 194 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,875 Oh, relationships aren't relevant to you? 195 00:09:45,958 --> 00:09:48,458 - I'm so shocked. - I just mean-- 196 00:09:48,541 --> 00:09:51,750 You sure don't make it obvious when you go out fucking every night. 197 00:09:51,833 --> 00:09:54,291 Blitz-o Buckzo has just called his Goetic lawyer a slut. 198 00:09:54,375 --> 00:09:57,166 - Oh! - Oh, shit! 199 00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:59,833 Yeah! Slut power! 200 00:10:00,541 --> 00:10:02,375 Well, I can't wait to see who's guilty. 201 00:10:02,458 --> 00:10:05,125 Let's find out after this quick commercial break. 202 00:10:05,208 --> 00:10:07,083 And... we're out. 203 00:10:11,333 --> 00:10:13,625 I'm taking my dump. 204 00:10:13,708 --> 00:10:15,875 May I speak with you for a moment? 205 00:10:15,958 --> 00:10:17,416 And what the fuck you think you're doing right now? 206 00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:18,625 Alone, please. 207 00:10:23,708 --> 00:10:26,666 {\an8}Look, I don't know if I can continue doing this. 208 00:10:26,750 --> 00:10:30,291 {\an8}Then go home. At least then I can say my lawyer fucked me. 209 00:10:30,375 --> 00:10:32,583 I mean, to work with you, Blitzo. 210 00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:36,041 You have been utterly vile to be around since-- 211 00:10:36,125 --> 00:10:38,541 Since what? Since I opened myself up to you 212 00:10:38,625 --> 00:10:40,208 and you threw me in the fucking trash? 213 00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:42,375 Hey, maybe close the lid next time 214 00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:46,875 so I don't have to watch you getting cream-pied till the garbage man shows up! 215 00:10:48,583 --> 00:10:50,375 Yeah, walk a little faster. 216 00:10:50,458 --> 00:10:52,208 Hey, maybe you can squeeze in an extra cock or two... 217 00:10:52,291 --> 00:10:54,291 ...before I'm home! 218 00:10:56,375 --> 00:10:58,541 All right, everyone, we're back in 30. 219 00:10:58,625 --> 00:10:59,916 Places, people. 220 00:11:01,875 --> 00:11:04,625 Your Honor, we can't start yet. We're still waiting on-- 221 00:11:04,708 --> 00:11:06,333 - Makeup! - Oh. Ooh. 222 00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:11,666 He's saying we're still waiting for-- Gah! 223 00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:14,208 No! No, get off me! 224 00:11:14,291 --> 00:11:16,583 Yes. 225 00:11:16,666 --> 00:11:18,375 Mucho makeup. 226 00:11:19,458 --> 00:11:21,041 Previously on Judge Jiner... 227 00:11:21,125 --> 00:11:24,083 - Eat me out! - I don't want to come! 228 00:11:24,166 --> 00:11:25,958 I am... sex offender. 229 00:11:26,041 --> 00:11:27,291 I'm the main character. 230 00:11:27,375 --> 00:11:28,916 Now, let's see who the fuck is guilty. 231 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,708 Welcome back. 232 00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:32,833 Today we've got Wally Wackford... 233 00:11:32,916 --> 00:11:35,833 - Howdy hoodle. - ...and Blitz-o Buckzo. 234 00:11:36,916 --> 00:11:39,791 Who still isn't back from recess! 235 00:11:39,875 --> 00:11:42,875 That's what I was trying to tell you. 236 00:11:42,958 --> 00:11:45,250 I don't get why you think you're entitled 237 00:11:45,333 --> 00:11:47,416 - to me and my intimate relations. - Well, I don't get 238 00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:50,583 why you insist on going out and fucking other guys. 239 00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:52,083 Kinky fucking, by the way. 240 00:11:52,166 --> 00:11:53,375 Not even regular fucking. 241 00:11:53,458 --> 00:11:55,250 When I'm right here! 242 00:11:55,333 --> 00:11:58,250 - Should I tell them their mics are on? - Fuck no! 243 00:11:58,333 --> 00:12:00,583 This is the best day of my damn life. 244 00:12:00,666 --> 00:12:02,291 You barged back into my life 245 00:12:02,375 --> 00:12:04,166 just to steal my grimoire. 246 00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:07,375 Then you leveraged my feelings to benefit yourself and your business, 247 00:12:07,458 --> 00:12:09,958 which I'll remind you I am fighting for today! 248 00:12:10,041 --> 00:12:12,125 Leverage? Oh, give-- Fuck you! 249 00:12:12,208 --> 00:12:15,541 You're a nine-foot royal prince with magic powers! 250 00:12:15,625 --> 00:12:20,708 Excuse me for not knowing that demon princes were capable of feeling shit! 251 00:12:20,791 --> 00:12:22,708 It's like he has no clue 252 00:12:22,791 --> 00:12:25,125 how his actions hurt everyone around him. 253 00:12:25,208 --> 00:12:26,500 Give him a break. 254 00:12:26,583 --> 00:12:29,958 He lost everything and has to live with Blitzo now. 255 00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:33,000 Uh, I was talking about Blitzo. 256 00:12:33,083 --> 00:12:35,166 He's handling this whole thing terribly. 257 00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:37,208 Well, how do you expect Blitzo, of all people, 258 00:12:37,291 --> 00:12:39,708 to handle a rebounding ex in the workplace? 259 00:12:39,791 --> 00:12:42,875 Mm, they're not technically "exes," Millie. 260 00:12:42,958 --> 00:12:44,625 Well, they were something. 261 00:12:44,708 --> 00:12:45,958 You know, I don't even buy 262 00:12:46,041 --> 00:12:48,625 that you ever wanted a relationship with me, 263 00:12:48,708 --> 00:12:52,875 'cause you didn't give me any warning or a chance to fucking talk about it, 264 00:12:52,958 --> 00:12:57,833 and then, the second I want something more, you just opened 265 00:12:57,916 --> 00:12:59,208 your holes to every Tom, 266 00:12:59,291 --> 00:13:01,208 Dick and comer in the underworld! 267 00:13:01,291 --> 00:13:02,291 What?! 268 00:13:02,375 --> 00:13:04,083 Ugh. Is he serious? 269 00:13:04,166 --> 00:13:05,958 The concept of "us" was just 270 00:13:06,041 --> 00:13:08,791 more of your bullshit escape fantasy, wasn't it? 271 00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:11,916 You fucked me to run away from your old life, 272 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,250 and now you're fucking everyone else to run away from me. 273 00:13:14,333 --> 00:13:16,208 Yeah, get him, Blitzo! 274 00:13:16,291 --> 00:13:19,458 Everyone knows royals got a kink for lower classes dicking 'em down! 275 00:13:19,541 --> 00:13:22,791 Millie, Stolas is our friend. 276 00:13:22,875 --> 00:13:24,291 Sorry. 277 00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:26,625 I got too caught up in all this drama. 278 00:13:26,708 --> 00:13:28,791 You can't be serious! 279 00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:31,958 I nearly sacrificed my fucking life for you, 280 00:13:32,041 --> 00:13:34,583 and only then did you finally decide you cared. 281 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:40,125 I tried so hard to convince you of my feelings. 282 00:13:40,208 --> 00:13:42,166 I gave you the way out. 283 00:13:42,250 --> 00:13:43,833 I asked for nothing in return. 284 00:13:43,916 --> 00:13:46,666 It's not my fault you never believed it, 285 00:13:46,750 --> 00:13:49,708 and somehow you still don't! 286 00:13:49,791 --> 00:13:52,125 Oh, Lucifer's Gooch, what the fuck am I supposed to do? 287 00:13:52,208 --> 00:13:56,125 Just forget about the full year you held that book over me? 288 00:13:56,208 --> 00:13:59,250 If you liked me so much, you could've just let me borrow it. 289 00:13:59,333 --> 00:14:03,375 But, no, you needed your booty call every month. 290 00:14:03,458 --> 00:14:06,166 It's not like I was the one in control of that! 291 00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:08,208 Yeah, Stolas could've ended that way sooner. 292 00:14:08,291 --> 00:14:11,250 He was stupid and in love, Millie. 293 00:14:12,583 --> 00:14:16,083 At what point, when you had me bound and gagged on the bed, 294 00:14:16,166 --> 00:14:17,500 did you not feel in control? 295 00:14:17,583 --> 00:14:20,708 The first thing you did was tie me down and bite me. 296 00:14:20,791 --> 00:14:24,333 You brought this thirsty, loud, slutty thing out of me, 297 00:14:24,416 --> 00:14:26,166 and I... I thought it's what you wanted. 298 00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:28,500 Clearly, I misread, but I really thought 299 00:14:28,583 --> 00:14:30,375 you were comfortable with what we were doing. 300 00:14:30,458 --> 00:14:32,833 I wish I had seen the red flags. 301 00:14:32,916 --> 00:14:34,458 What the fuck is that supposed to mean? 302 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:37,500 It means that I was too stupid to notice 303 00:14:37,583 --> 00:14:41,458 you barely wanted to spend any time with me, or talk or cuddle 304 00:14:41,541 --> 00:14:43,833 or anything that wasn't just sex. 305 00:14:43,916 --> 00:14:48,791 So I don't know how you could think sex was all I wanted. 306 00:14:48,875 --> 00:14:50,500 I tried to give you more. 307 00:14:50,583 --> 00:14:53,666 I say Stolas is making some really good points. 308 00:14:53,750 --> 00:14:56,916 Well, I say Blitzo has good ones, too. 309 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,791 Well, I say, I say-- 310 00:14:58,875 --> 00:15:00,458 You don't get to say shit! 311 00:15:00,541 --> 00:15:02,333 They're both fucking guilty... 312 00:15:02,416 --> 00:15:04,458 of miscommunication. 313 00:15:04,541 --> 00:15:06,708 Uh, let me take that again. 314 00:15:06,791 --> 00:15:09,333 I'm sorry. Uh, can you repeat that again, Stolas? 315 00:15:09,416 --> 00:15:12,083 Because all I'm hearing is a bunch of bitching 316 00:15:12,166 --> 00:15:15,000 spilling from the community cloaca! 317 00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:18,208 I told you these hookups don't mean anything! 318 00:15:18,291 --> 00:15:21,583 I've just been feeling such overwhelming guilt for everything I've done, 319 00:15:21,666 --> 00:15:23,500 and I just wanted to try to get out of that 320 00:15:23,583 --> 00:15:25,541 or feel like I was being punished for it, 321 00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:29,250 but now you've made me feel guilty for that, too. Gah! 322 00:15:29,333 --> 00:15:33,416 Now I'm starting to get why all your exes can't stand you. 323 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:36,625 Oh, fuck you. Fuck you! 324 00:15:36,708 --> 00:15:39,916 I've never opened myself up the way I did for you! 325 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:44,291 I gave you my beating fucking heart, and you... What did you do? 326 00:15:44,375 --> 00:15:47,416 You started fucking other people on top of it! 327 00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:51,250 If this is you opening up, then you have a nasty way of doing it. 328 00:15:51,333 --> 00:15:53,041 Yeah, well, that's me, I guess. 329 00:15:53,125 --> 00:15:55,875 Glad we finally see each other for who we are. 330 00:15:55,958 --> 00:15:59,000 I'll just keep being an unlovable asshole, 331 00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:03,375 and you can keep being a filthy fucking whore! 332 00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:08,625 Uh, no, you don't get to cry. 333 00:16:08,708 --> 00:16:10,333 I'm the one that gets to cry! 334 00:16:10,416 --> 00:16:12,125 You hurt me! 335 00:16:13,208 --> 00:16:14,541 You're right, Blitzo. 336 00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:16,625 What the fuck? No, I'm not. 337 00:16:16,708 --> 00:16:19,333 Well, I mean, I am, but you're not supposed to agree with me yet! 338 00:16:19,416 --> 00:16:21,375 This is my fault. 339 00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:22,916 I never meant for any of this to happen, 340 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:27,083 and yet, it all has, and it's all-- 341 00:16:27,166 --> 00:16:29,875 Stolas, don't. It's-- I know what you're about to say here. 342 00:16:29,958 --> 00:16:31,666 I'm sorry. 343 00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:33,833 For the pain I put you through. 344 00:16:34,958 --> 00:16:36,958 For the mistakes I've made. 345 00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:41,750 I don't know what I'm doing. 346 00:16:41,833 --> 00:16:46,750 I don't know why I need to go out and be spit on and insulted. I-I... 347 00:16:46,833 --> 00:16:49,625 I just know it's what I deserve. 348 00:16:49,708 --> 00:16:53,375 And I... I didn't want that to be you because, oh, 349 00:16:53,458 --> 00:16:55,083 what if that's how you'd always see me? 350 00:16:55,166 --> 00:16:57,458 I-I'd hate to think that you are just... are just... 351 00:16:57,541 --> 00:17:00,125 But, no, you're right. Why-why not just let it be you? 352 00:17:00,208 --> 00:17:03,208 Why not just give you what you want? It's what I wanted, right? It's-- 353 00:17:03,291 --> 00:17:04,958 I just.. I'm-I'm... 354 00:17:05,041 --> 00:17:07,208 - I don't know. I don't know. - Hang on. 355 00:17:07,291 --> 00:17:09,666 Hang on. This... this is a lot to unpack. 356 00:17:09,750 --> 00:17:11,375 Shit. Uh... 357 00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:17,416 Viewers at home are voting, and it looks like the owl is in the lead, 358 00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:20,208 now that he's admitting he done fucked up. 359 00:17:20,291 --> 00:17:23,000 - But he admitted he lost! - Makeup! 360 00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:24,791 Not again! Aah! 361 00:17:24,875 --> 00:17:27,791 I can't breathe! Fuck off! 362 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,291 I know what it's like to hate yourself. 363 00:17:38,375 --> 00:17:39,833 To punish yourself. 364 00:17:42,541 --> 00:17:45,041 Stolas, I had no idea that that's... 365 00:17:45,125 --> 00:17:48,583 that's where all this was coming from. 366 00:17:48,666 --> 00:17:50,416 I'm sorry. 367 00:17:56,583 --> 00:17:58,833 How do we even come back from this? 368 00:18:00,125 --> 00:18:02,833 I don't know that we can. 369 00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,666 Can you at least just tell me why? 370 00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:07,083 I'll listen. 371 00:18:07,166 --> 00:18:08,541 Blitzo. 372 00:18:09,541 --> 00:18:14,250 I want to let myself be with you, but I can't, 373 00:18:14,333 --> 00:18:17,583 because all I would think about is how I chose what I wanted 374 00:18:17,666 --> 00:18:20,958 over my daughter, over everything. 375 00:18:21,041 --> 00:18:23,083 And I lost her because of it. 376 00:18:23,166 --> 00:18:26,041 I lost the most precious thing I had. 377 00:18:26,125 --> 00:18:29,791 Betrayed her and ruined so much. 378 00:18:31,208 --> 00:18:35,166 I would never be able to rid myself of the guilt and the shame. 379 00:18:36,625 --> 00:18:38,208 You don't deserve that. 380 00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:40,583 Well, you don't get to decide what I deserve. 381 00:18:40,666 --> 00:18:42,666 Blitzo. 382 00:18:42,750 --> 00:18:47,500 I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully fall into a love I've tainted so badly. 383 00:18:48,750 --> 00:18:52,583 You and I have both lost a lot in our lifetime, Stolas, 384 00:18:52,666 --> 00:18:56,083 and there might be a universe where we lose each other, too. 385 00:18:58,125 --> 00:19:00,708 But I don't want to live in that universe. 386 00:19:00,791 --> 00:19:02,708 Neither do I. 387 00:19:04,666 --> 00:19:08,125 I mean, it is weird that I'm actually your boss now, isn't it? 388 00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:12,000 It is. 389 00:19:12,083 --> 00:19:16,625 This really is not easy for me in the slightest, 390 00:19:16,708 --> 00:19:20,625 but, look, if I have to be a mature person to make whatever this is work, 391 00:19:20,708 --> 00:19:23,791 even if we can't be with each other right now, 392 00:19:23,875 --> 00:19:25,791 then I'm willing to give it a shot, 393 00:19:25,875 --> 00:19:31,083 because I never want to make you cry again, Stolas. 394 00:19:31,166 --> 00:19:32,916 Thank you, Blitzo. 395 00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:46,166 It's beautiful. 396 00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:48,750 I hope they can work through their problem. 397 00:19:48,833 --> 00:19:51,208 What the fuck is everyone so happy about? 398 00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,250 Did we win? 399 00:19:53,333 --> 00:19:55,458 No, sir. Um... 400 00:19:55,541 --> 00:19:57,250 - Your mic. - Oh, fuck! 401 00:19:57,333 --> 00:19:58,958 Don't worry. 402 00:19:59,041 --> 00:20:00,791 I'm proud of you, Blitzo. 403 00:20:00,875 --> 00:20:02,541 Anyway, 404 00:20:02,625 --> 00:20:07,166 we still need to fucking find out who won this fucking case! 405 00:20:10,291 --> 00:20:12,416 Honorable Judge Jiner, 406 00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:16,375 Blitzo Buckzo is a very accomplished imp. 407 00:20:16,458 --> 00:20:18,666 He is an assassin, he is a businessman, 408 00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:22,875 and his business, I.M.P., has existed for a long time. 409 00:20:22,958 --> 00:20:26,375 Now, Wackford has indeed claimed the name I.M.P. for his dating service, 410 00:20:26,458 --> 00:20:29,875 but Buckzo was working professionally 411 00:20:29,958 --> 00:20:32,041 under the name before Wackford founded his service. 412 00:20:32,125 --> 00:20:35,416 By default, Blitzo is entitled 413 00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:38,375 to the copyright and recognition of his name and logo, 414 00:20:38,458 --> 00:20:39,916 as well as his jingle. 415 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,166 ♪ When you want somebody gone and you don't wanna wait too long ♪ 416 00:20:42,250 --> 00:20:43,291 ♪ call the Immediate Murder Professionals... 417 00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:45,291 Ooh. 418 00:20:45,375 --> 00:20:47,708 - Catchy. - Oh, from the pilot. 419 00:20:47,791 --> 00:20:50,958 I know, right? Now, I know the legal system well, 420 00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:54,041 and you cannot plagiarize someone's copyrighted material, 421 00:20:54,125 --> 00:20:55,666 even if they didn't register it, 422 00:20:55,750 --> 00:20:58,291 especially when it is this heavily sourced. 423 00:20:59,333 --> 00:21:02,208 Same shit. Buckzo wins. 424 00:21:02,291 --> 00:21:04,000 - Hell yeah! That's how it's done! - We did it! 425 00:21:04,083 --> 00:21:05,583 - Yee-haw! - Eat shit! 426 00:21:05,666 --> 00:21:07,541 We did it, Blitzo! We won! 427 00:21:07,625 --> 00:21:10,375 Thanks for watching, everyone. Go home. 428 00:21:10,458 --> 00:21:12,041 Get out. Shoo! 429 00:21:12,125 --> 00:21:14,541 All right, bring in the lobsters. 430 00:21:22,541 --> 00:21:25,416 So, lady, how does it feel to win back your company name? 431 00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:27,125 We won! 432 00:21:27,208 --> 00:21:29,041 We won! We won! We won! 433 00:21:29,125 --> 00:21:30,791 - You don't need that. - We won! We won! We won! 434 00:21:30,875 --> 00:21:32,333 - Hey, lady. Can I have it back? - We won! 435 00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:35,166 - We fucking won! - Lady, I still need that. 436 00:21:37,041 --> 00:21:39,375 Now, Blitzo, we heard you out there in the hallway. 437 00:21:39,458 --> 00:21:42,000 You promised your ex-fucker you're gonna be more mature. 438 00:21:42,083 --> 00:21:43,708 Is that a promise you can fulfill? 439 00:21:43,791 --> 00:21:45,291 Mm-hmm. I did say that. 440 00:21:45,375 --> 00:21:48,708 I said that whole thing on live television, didn't I? 441 00:21:48,791 --> 00:21:50,958 So I-I guess I better start being a mature person. 442 00:21:51,041 --> 00:21:53,166 Otherwise, I'd look real fucking stupid. 443 00:21:57,625 --> 00:21:58,791 Look! 444 00:21:58,875 --> 00:22:00,791 ♪ It's the fucking loser ♪ 445 00:22:00,875 --> 00:22:02,916 ♪ the little fucking loser ♪ 446 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,958 ♪ with the stupid cane and a stupid fucking hat ♪ 447 00:22:08,250 --> 00:22:11,708 How's it feel, cuck? Ha-ha! 448 00:22:15,208 --> 00:22:17,500 I mean, uh, hey, 449 00:22:17,583 --> 00:22:19,166 no hard feelings, buddy. 450 00:22:19,250 --> 00:22:21,041 Ya can't win 'em all. 451 00:22:21,125 --> 00:22:25,708 Listen, you, um... you've clearly got a flair for wowing a crowd. 452 00:22:25,791 --> 00:22:30,041 How'd you like to come work for the O.G. I.M.P.? 453 00:22:30,125 --> 00:22:32,708 You... You want to give me a job? 454 00:22:32,791 --> 00:22:35,041 Yeah. I mean, why not? 455 00:22:35,125 --> 00:22:37,166 I'm such a mature guy now, right? 456 00:22:37,250 --> 00:22:39,791 You could help us get our name out there more. 457 00:22:39,875 --> 00:22:42,791 Oh, thank you! You hear that, babe? 458 00:22:44,041 --> 00:22:46,250 Hmm. I hear it. 459 00:22:46,333 --> 00:22:47,375 And there you have it. 460 00:22:47,458 --> 00:22:50,916 Blitzo Buckzo really is one Helluva... 461 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:54,208 No. One damn good businessman. 462 00:22:55,583 --> 00:22:57,833 Good to see you doing the right thing, Blitzo. 463 00:23:04,083 --> 00:23:06,416 Ah, shit! Loona! 464 00:23:09,541 --> 00:23:11,583 - Can you lift your legs, miss? - Did we win? 465 00:23:11,666 --> 00:23:13,875 Ah, fuck! 466 00:23:16,208 --> 00:23:17,416 Thank you.