1 00:00:00,050 --> 00:00:02,194 My name is Nathan Fielder, 2 00:00:02,248 --> 00:00:05,505 and I graduated from one of Canada's top business schools 3 00:00:05,507 --> 00:00:07,172 with really good grades. 4 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:10,251 Now, I'm using my knowledge to help struggling 5 00:00:10,253 --> 00:00:13,311 small business owners make it in this competitive world. 6 00:00:18,333 --> 00:00:21,206 Sync and corrections by dwigt www.addic7ed.com 7 00:00:21,776 --> 00:00:24,445 This is Nathan for You. 8 00:00:25,268 --> 00:00:29,020 This is Mark Rappaport, owner of Marky Sparky Toys. 9 00:00:29,022 --> 00:00:30,722 And of all the products he's invented, 10 00:00:30,724 --> 00:00:33,358 one stands out as the absolute worst. 11 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:36,903 The "Doinkit" is a strange ball that doesn't do much. 12 00:00:36,914 --> 00:00:38,747 And, unfortunately for Mark, it hasn't been 13 00:00:38,749 --> 00:00:40,081 the biggest seller, either. 14 00:00:40,522 --> 00:00:42,222 It's not all fun-- it's all fun and games-- 15 00:00:42,287 --> 00:00:45,370 until nobody buys your toys. 16 00:00:45,372 --> 00:00:48,117 But as far as I'm concerned, the quality of the toy 17 00:00:48,171 --> 00:00:50,542 shouldn't matter, when you're selling to kids. 18 00:00:50,544 --> 00:00:52,276 So I paid Mark a visit, with a way to get 19 00:00:52,334 --> 00:00:53,595 those Doinkits sold. 20 00:00:53,597 --> 00:00:56,014 When you're a kid, what's the one thing you want, 21 00:00:56,016 --> 00:00:57,182 more than anything? 22 00:00:57,967 --> 00:00:59,301 Power. 23 00:00:59,303 --> 00:01:03,555 No. To not be seen as a baby. 24 00:01:03,765 --> 00:01:05,681 It's very easy to market to kids, 25 00:01:05,683 --> 00:01:07,850 because their brains are so small. 26 00:01:07,852 --> 00:01:10,319 So rather than selling a ball, Mark should be selling 27 00:01:10,321 --> 00:01:13,189 an identity for children. That identity? 28 00:01:13,191 --> 00:01:15,608 That owning a Doinkit is the only way to prove 29 00:01:15,610 --> 00:01:17,110 you're not a baby. 30 00:01:17,318 --> 00:01:18,984 No. No. 31 00:01:18,986 --> 00:01:20,786 This is Marketing 101. 32 00:01:20,788 --> 00:01:22,404 A-- According to you. 33 00:01:22,406 --> 00:01:23,989 Well, that's what sells products. 34 00:01:23,991 --> 00:01:28,460 Fantastic! Fantastic. I am so excited. 35 00:01:28,462 --> 00:01:30,879 Am I sensing some sarcasm? 36 00:01:31,571 --> 00:01:32,638 Yes. 37 00:01:32,987 --> 00:01:35,560 Mark wasn't convinced, and said there was only 38 00:01:35,586 --> 00:01:37,369 one thing that could win him over. 39 00:01:37,504 --> 00:01:39,554 Cash. Money. 40 00:01:39,556 --> 00:01:41,840 I needed to show that this would be profitable. 41 00:01:41,842 --> 00:01:44,309 So later that week, I arranged a focus group 42 00:01:44,311 --> 00:01:47,262 to see if my marketing approach would work with actual children. 43 00:01:47,264 --> 00:01:48,980 When I show this to you, what do you think? 44 00:01:48,982 --> 00:01:50,565 - Do you want it? - Nope. 45 00:01:50,567 --> 00:01:51,683 - Nah. - No. 46 00:01:51,685 --> 00:01:52,768 Why? 47 00:01:52,770 --> 00:01:55,320 - Dumb. - It's dumb? 48 00:01:55,322 --> 00:01:56,605 Yeah. 49 00:01:56,607 --> 00:01:59,658 Okay, uh, hold on a second, guys. 50 00:01:59,660 --> 00:02:02,027 I just got a call. 51 00:02:02,029 --> 00:02:03,528 Hello? 52 00:02:03,530 --> 00:02:06,365 Oh, yes sir. Really? 53 00:02:06,367 --> 00:02:09,334 Oh my god, yeah, I'll let them know. 54 00:02:09,336 --> 00:02:11,787 Sorry, guys. That was the President calling. 55 00:02:11,789 --> 00:02:14,756 And he just told me that owning this toy 56 00:02:14,758 --> 00:02:18,820 is now the only proof you're not a baby. 57 00:02:18,852 --> 00:02:21,102 Well, I mean, I have one. 58 00:02:21,104 --> 00:02:23,938 So that's good. Are you guys babies? Or... 59 00:02:23,940 --> 00:02:25,607 - Nope. - Nah. 60 00:02:25,609 --> 00:02:28,576 Well you don't have the toy, so you must be a baby. 61 00:02:28,578 --> 00:02:34,449 Unless you have it, then you're not. 62 00:02:34,451 --> 00:02:38,002 Oh, okay, so now... You two aren't babies, 63 00:02:38,004 --> 00:02:43,791 but are you a baby? 64 00:02:43,793 --> 00:02:45,627 - Are you a baby? - No. 65 00:02:45,629 --> 00:02:48,429 Well, you don't have the toy. 66 00:02:52,140 --> 00:02:54,845 What do you think about kids that don't have the toy? 67 00:02:54,972 --> 00:02:56,354 - Mm, sad. - Weird. 68 00:02:56,856 --> 00:02:58,189 - Sad? - Weird. 69 00:02:58,191 --> 00:03:00,308 - Why? - Because they're a baby. 70 00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:03,061 The strategy worked even better than I had hoped. 71 00:03:03,063 --> 00:03:05,146 So I rebranded the toy's packaging 72 00:03:05,148 --> 00:03:07,148 and brought it to Mark, to see what he thought. 73 00:03:07,150 --> 00:03:08,983 It's horrible. 74 00:03:08,985 --> 00:03:11,152 I mean, what specifically? 75 00:03:11,154 --> 00:03:13,905 Uh, kid in a diaper? With, um, 76 00:03:13,907 --> 00:03:15,707 children pointing at him? 77 00:03:15,709 --> 00:03:18,993 If this is the best you've got, you're awful. 78 00:03:18,995 --> 00:03:20,495 I mean, I'm putting a lot of effort 79 00:03:20,497 --> 00:03:22,330 and resources into trying to sell... 80 00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:23,414 - Well you're not... - It's less-- 81 00:03:23,416 --> 00:03:24,499 You're not good at what you do. 82 00:03:24,501 --> 00:03:27,502 Um, you're not good at what you do. 83 00:03:27,504 --> 00:03:29,420 Working with Mark was about as much fun 84 00:03:29,422 --> 00:03:31,089 as playing with his toys. 85 00:03:31,091 --> 00:03:32,840 But I was convinced I could win him over 86 00:03:32,842 --> 00:03:34,342 if I showed him results. 87 00:03:34,344 --> 00:03:37,061 So I wrote and shot a professional TV commercial 88 00:03:37,063 --> 00:03:38,846 for the Doinkit, that was guaranteed 89 00:03:38,848 --> 00:03:40,982 to get kids to buy it. 90 00:03:50,859 --> 00:03:53,161 If you are between the ages of three and eight, 91 00:03:53,163 --> 00:03:55,496 please listen closely. 92 00:03:55,498 --> 00:03:58,583 Owning a Doinkit is now the only proof 93 00:03:58,585 --> 00:04:00,285 that you are not a baby. 94 00:04:00,287 --> 00:04:03,705 If you don't have this toy, 95 00:04:03,707 --> 00:04:05,290 People will think you wear diapers, 96 00:04:05,292 --> 00:04:07,709 and cry all the time. 97 00:04:07,711 --> 00:04:10,378 Everybody will think you sleep in a crib, 98 00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:13,264 and drink from a bottle, if you don't have one of these. 99 00:04:14,768 --> 00:04:18,553 And whenever you speak, all people will hear is, 100 00:04:18,555 --> 00:04:20,855 "Goo goo, ga ga." 101 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:25,476 So tell your mom or dad to buy you a Doinkit. 102 00:04:25,478 --> 00:04:28,780 Because otherwise, as far as anyone's concerned, 103 00:04:28,782 --> 00:04:32,900 you're a baby. 104 00:04:32,902 --> 00:04:36,294 Oh, it can also be used as a toy ball. 105 00:04:42,578 --> 00:04:45,713 Cut. Nice. 106 00:04:45,715 --> 00:04:47,165 It was perfect. 107 00:04:47,167 --> 00:04:49,467 But when I tried to buy ad time on a local station, 108 00:04:49,469 --> 00:04:53,421 You're lying to the kids, and saying that they're a baby 109 00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:54,889 if they don't have this toy. 110 00:04:54,891 --> 00:04:57,809 They said a commercial like this would never make it on TV. 111 00:04:57,811 --> 00:05:00,978 And that meant, I needed a new approach. 112 00:05:00,980 --> 00:05:03,648 So I convinced a local toy store to carry the Doinkit, 113 00:05:03,650 --> 00:05:06,934 by offering to provide them with a Santa, free of charge, 114 00:05:06,936 --> 00:05:08,736 for the approaching holiday season. 115 00:05:08,738 --> 00:05:11,522 But what they didn't know, is that Santa was my old pal, 116 00:05:11,524 --> 00:05:14,242 James Bailey, who I could trust to make sure 117 00:05:14,244 --> 00:05:17,829 that every kid would be asking for a Doinkit for Christmas. 118 00:05:17,831 --> 00:05:21,282 - And with James in place... - Santa! 119 00:05:21,284 --> 00:05:23,284 it was time to sell some Doinkits. 120 00:05:23,286 --> 00:05:26,287 Do you know what you'd like to have for Christmas? 121 00:05:26,289 --> 00:05:31,125 Um, I would really want an Ever after high doll. 122 00:05:32,461 --> 00:05:37,432 Why? That-- That-- That tells me that you must be a baby. 123 00:05:38,634 --> 00:05:40,685 - Are you a baby? - No. 124 00:05:40,687 --> 00:05:43,187 See all these people making fun of the boy? 125 00:05:43,189 --> 00:05:46,023 So, we don't want people to think that you're a baby, 126 00:05:46,025 --> 00:05:48,142 and the only way you can prove that, 127 00:05:48,144 --> 00:05:52,063 - is if you have a Doinkit toy. - Okay. 128 00:05:52,065 --> 00:05:53,865 The plan was working great. 129 00:05:53,867 --> 00:05:56,401 - I need this, so... - You're gonna get this? 130 00:05:56,403 --> 00:06:01,489 One of the girls that-- at my school, she's mean to me. 131 00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:05,493 She's mean to you? Oh, that's not good. 132 00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:08,713 I wonder if that's because she might think you're a baby, 133 00:06:08,715 --> 00:06:10,965 because you don't have a Doinkit. 134 00:06:12,085 --> 00:06:14,836 Well, that must mean you wear diapers. 135 00:06:14,838 --> 00:06:17,088 No, I don't wear diapers anymore. 136 00:06:17,090 --> 00:06:19,590 'cause I don't wanna be a baby, I said! 137 00:06:21,261 --> 00:06:22,844 Just doesn't seem like something Santa should 138 00:06:22,846 --> 00:06:24,846 be saying, that kids are gonna look like babies. 139 00:06:24,848 --> 00:06:26,981 Well that's, that's your opinion. 140 00:06:26,983 --> 00:06:28,900 Despite a couple uptight parents, 141 00:06:28,902 --> 00:06:31,436 the Doinkit was the top-selling toy of the day. 142 00:06:31,438 --> 00:06:33,855 But when I went back to Mark with the good news, 143 00:06:33,857 --> 00:06:35,606 he still didn't get it. 144 00:06:35,608 --> 00:06:38,359 That was horrible advice and awful graphics, 145 00:06:38,361 --> 00:06:39,994 - terrible design... - No, but it did work. 146 00:06:39,996 --> 00:06:41,746 - Unprofessional... - Okay. 147 00:06:41,748 --> 00:06:43,364 You never proved that it worked. 148 00:06:43,366 --> 00:06:45,366 We did get sales. 149 00:06:45,701 --> 00:06:48,252 In life, not everyone will see your vision. 150 00:06:48,338 --> 00:06:51,455 But it's important to always take the high road. 151 00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:53,562 And sometimes the best way to brighten spirits, 152 00:06:53,626 --> 00:06:54,857 is with a gift. 153 00:06:56,317 --> 00:06:57,616 This is you. 154 00:06:57,764 --> 00:06:59,275 But the biggest difference between 155 00:06:59,345 --> 00:07:02,016 me and Mark, is that when I play with toys, 156 00:07:02,018 --> 00:07:03,684 - I win. - "Hi, I'm Marky. 157 00:07:03,686 --> 00:07:07,722 "I'm an idiot business man with a small dick. 158 00:07:07,724 --> 00:07:10,942 "I have no idea how much I hurt other people's feelings. 159 00:07:10,944 --> 00:07:14,529 "And I'm the laughingstock of my industry." 160 00:07:15,899 --> 00:07:17,055 Last season on my show, 161 00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:19,996 I helped a private investigator, named Brian Wolfe, 162 00:07:20,047 --> 00:07:22,008 by giving him a positive review on Yelp. 163 00:07:22,010 --> 00:07:24,624 I don't give a flying [bleep] about Yelp, okay? 164 00:07:24,649 --> 00:07:26,565 But when I recently visited Brian, 165 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,459 he told me something that came as a shock. 166 00:07:28,756 --> 00:07:31,044 When I was on your show, um, I've received 167 00:07:31,046 --> 00:07:33,464 a lot of phone calls from different production companies, 168 00:07:33,466 --> 00:07:36,333 and-- and personally, right now, I have my own reality show. 169 00:07:36,335 --> 00:07:38,502 It's true. Brian got his own show 170 00:07:38,504 --> 00:07:41,672 on the Discovery Channel, after I made him a star. 171 00:07:41,674 --> 00:07:43,841 But I got nothing from this deal. 172 00:07:43,843 --> 00:07:45,225 So, worried that more people 173 00:07:45,227 --> 00:07:47,118 from my show would be poached for their own 174 00:07:47,150 --> 00:07:50,230 reality series, I went through the entire first season, 175 00:07:50,232 --> 00:07:52,683 to see if there were any other potential candidates. 176 00:07:52,685 --> 00:07:54,690 And that's when I remembered Simon, 177 00:07:54,753 --> 00:07:58,021 a professional security guard, with one major weakness. 178 00:07:58,023 --> 00:07:59,857 Double "D" breasts are essential for you? 179 00:07:59,859 --> 00:08:02,025 It's gotta be-- It's gotta be substantial. 180 00:08:02,027 --> 00:08:03,861 His story had all the ingredients 181 00:08:03,863 --> 00:08:05,496 for a reality hit. 182 00:08:05,498 --> 00:08:07,197 So I called Simon into my office, 183 00:08:07,199 --> 00:08:09,116 because if he was gonna get his own series, 184 00:08:09,118 --> 00:08:10,334 I wanted to produce it. 185 00:08:10,336 --> 00:08:12,085 So, Simon. 186 00:08:12,087 --> 00:08:14,955 How do you feel about pitching a reality show 187 00:08:14,957 --> 00:08:18,041 - about you? - Wow. That's pretty big. 188 00:08:18,043 --> 00:08:20,961 I would-- I would definitely be interested in that. 189 00:08:20,963 --> 00:08:22,513 To me, it's the perfect concept. 190 00:08:22,515 --> 00:08:24,848 You're a security guard who's very good at his job, 191 00:08:24,850 --> 00:08:27,885 but there's only one thing that distracts you. 192 00:08:27,887 --> 00:08:29,603 - Right. - Which is? 193 00:08:29,605 --> 00:08:32,806 Uh, yeah. Girls with uh, big-- big, uh, breasts. 194 00:08:32,808 --> 00:08:34,475 Simon was in. 195 00:08:34,477 --> 00:08:35,859 So we spent the next hour coming up with some 196 00:08:35,861 --> 00:08:38,145 potential storylines for our series. 197 00:08:38,147 --> 00:08:40,030 Let's say a situation where I was working security 198 00:08:40,032 --> 00:08:43,233 in a store, and, um, a woman walked in, like, 199 00:08:43,235 --> 00:08:45,285 almost every day, who was very pretty, 200 00:08:45,287 --> 00:08:46,653 but had small breasts. 201 00:08:46,655 --> 00:08:48,372 And then, like maybe a week later, 202 00:08:48,374 --> 00:08:50,958 she walked in, um, and she had uh, larger breasts. 203 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:54,328 And I could tell that she'd had implants, you know. 204 00:08:54,330 --> 00:08:56,079 That could be, that could be, like one-- th-- one-- 205 00:08:56,081 --> 00:08:57,320 That could be one show. 206 00:08:57,583 --> 00:09:00,634 You know an episode of TV is a half an hour long, right? 207 00:09:00,636 --> 00:09:02,135 Right. 208 00:09:02,319 --> 00:09:03,470 Okay. 209 00:09:03,973 --> 00:09:05,839 We brainstormed a few more ideas, 210 00:09:05,841 --> 00:09:08,342 and after shooting a short demo presentation, 211 00:09:08,344 --> 00:09:10,286 I set up a pitch meeting with one of the biggest 212 00:09:10,285 --> 00:09:12,095 reality show producers in the country, 213 00:09:12,097 --> 00:09:13,514 for later that week. 214 00:09:13,516 --> 00:09:15,599 So we'll check back with this in a bit. 215 00:09:15,601 --> 00:09:17,100 But first... 216 00:09:17,102 --> 00:09:19,903 It's a tough time to be in the movie theater biz. 217 00:09:19,905 --> 00:09:21,905 With most of the ticket sales going to the people 218 00:09:21,907 --> 00:09:23,490 that make the movies, theaters like 219 00:09:23,492 --> 00:09:26,573 Whittier Village Cinemas, in Whittier, California, 220 00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:29,196 have to rely on snack sales to scrape by. 221 00:09:29,198 --> 00:09:30,753 The concession's where you're gonna make money. 222 00:09:30,767 --> 00:09:32,082 that's all we are, is one giant-- 223 00:09:32,084 --> 00:09:34,117 A movie theater's just one giant concession stand. 224 00:09:34,119 --> 00:09:36,954 So I paid theater manager, Erik Chaffino, a visit, 225 00:09:36,956 --> 00:09:40,173 with a simple way to instantly double his profits. 226 00:09:40,175 --> 00:09:43,260 It seems like, oftentimes, one person will buy popcorn, 227 00:09:43,262 --> 00:09:45,262 - Uh-huh. - and then two people 228 00:09:45,264 --> 00:09:46,263 will share it. 229 00:09:46,265 --> 00:09:47,548 Yeah. Pretty much every-- 230 00:09:47,550 --> 00:09:49,967 95% of the customers will share. 231 00:09:49,969 --> 00:09:52,135 But not anymore. The plan: 232 00:09:52,137 --> 00:09:54,721 force each customer to buy their own concession item 233 00:09:54,723 --> 00:09:57,558 with a new rule: no sharing allowed. 234 00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:59,643 Hmm. Do you think the customers are gonna treat-- 235 00:09:59,645 --> 00:10:00,777 take that well? 236 00:10:00,779 --> 00:10:02,279 You know, if Edison was worried about 237 00:10:02,281 --> 00:10:04,531 his candle customers, he would have never 238 00:10:04,533 --> 00:10:07,117 - invented the light bulb. - True, true. 239 00:10:07,119 --> 00:10:09,286 It takes a little bit of courage to be the first one out there 240 00:10:09,288 --> 00:10:10,487 to change something, so... 241 00:10:10,489 --> 00:10:13,156 And this could be, kind of, of that caliber. 242 00:10:13,158 --> 00:10:15,242 Yeah, like you said, uh, Thomas Jefferson would, 243 00:10:15,244 --> 00:10:16,827 if he was caring about the-- his candle... 244 00:10:16,829 --> 00:10:18,495 - Edison. - Edison, thank you. 245 00:10:18,497 --> 00:10:19,796 - Yeah, it's okay. - Yeah, so, yeah... 246 00:10:19,798 --> 00:10:22,666 What Edison did with the candles, you know? 247 00:10:22,668 --> 00:10:24,751 If he was afraid of that, he wouldn't have invented, 248 00:10:24,753 --> 00:10:27,304 you know, light bulbs, and so... 249 00:10:27,306 --> 00:10:28,722 Right. 250 00:10:28,724 --> 00:10:31,842 Erik was in. So the next day, after prepping the staff, 251 00:10:31,844 --> 00:10:33,810 we put the new policy into effect. 252 00:10:33,812 --> 00:10:35,702 Can I have a small popcorn, please? 253 00:10:35,796 --> 00:10:37,764 You guys can't be sharing, so, do you guys want 254 00:10:37,766 --> 00:10:41,485 - two small popcorns? - Shhh--uh, sure. 255 00:10:41,487 --> 00:10:43,770 It seemed to be working, as some people were 256 00:10:43,772 --> 00:10:45,989 adjusting their orders, and buying a second item. 257 00:10:45,991 --> 00:10:48,025 - One per each. - Thank you. 258 00:10:48,027 --> 00:10:50,243 There you go, enjoy. But as more customers arrived, 259 00:10:50,245 --> 00:10:52,412 I became worried that people were trying to get around 260 00:10:52,414 --> 00:10:53,190 the policy. 261 00:10:54,199 --> 00:10:55,582 Okay. 262 00:10:55,584 --> 00:10:57,034 And when I looked inside the theater, 263 00:10:57,036 --> 00:10:59,503 my suspicions were confirmed. 264 00:10:59,505 --> 00:11:01,204 So I discreetly had to remind people 265 00:11:01,206 --> 00:11:03,707 that they were in violation of theater rules. 266 00:11:03,709 --> 00:11:06,543 I'm sorry, we can't-- we can't have you sharing. 267 00:11:07,639 --> 00:11:08,817 I saw you sharing. 268 00:11:09,653 --> 00:11:11,048 I saw him take some. 269 00:11:13,636 --> 00:11:16,713 Did you have any? 'cause it's all over your shirt, here... 270 00:11:19,224 --> 00:11:22,392 Okay, can I-- j-- I'm sorry, do you mind if I... 271 00:11:22,394 --> 00:11:25,362 smell your fingers? 272 00:11:25,364 --> 00:11:27,390 Okay, so it smells like popcorn? 273 00:11:29,451 --> 00:11:31,985 He did, so he did. It's basically stealing 274 00:11:31,987 --> 00:11:33,153 from the theater, when you do that. 275 00:11:33,692 --> 00:11:35,455 It was too easy to cheat, 276 00:11:35,457 --> 00:11:37,708 and without a good way to monitor what was going on 277 00:11:37,710 --> 00:11:39,743 inside the theater, it was impossible 278 00:11:39,745 --> 00:11:42,412 for the no-sharing policy to be enforced. 279 00:11:42,414 --> 00:11:43,997 So before the evening rush, 280 00:11:43,999 --> 00:11:45,832 I set up several night-vision cameras 281 00:11:45,834 --> 00:11:47,167 at the front of the theater, 282 00:11:47,169 --> 00:11:49,920 enabling us to view any people that decided to share 283 00:11:49,922 --> 00:11:52,673 from monitors I set up in the back room. 284 00:11:52,675 --> 00:11:55,258 And while training the staff, I learned that the cameras 285 00:11:55,260 --> 00:11:58,311 might be useful to the theater for another purpose, as well. 286 00:11:58,313 --> 00:12:00,897 It's usually, it's like older, like, um, middle-aged men 287 00:12:00,899 --> 00:12:03,650 going to like a kid's movie by themselves, late at night. 288 00:12:03,652 --> 00:12:05,602 But we've never actually, like, caught somebody... 289 00:12:05,604 --> 00:12:07,437 - Oh, okay. - Mid-process. 290 00:12:07,439 --> 00:12:09,406 So this could work for popcorn-sharers. 291 00:12:09,408 --> 00:12:10,907 And-- And perverts. 292 00:12:10,909 --> 00:12:13,160 I was happy it could serve a dual purpose, 293 00:12:13,162 --> 00:12:15,529 but since all the camera angles were currently set up 294 00:12:15,531 --> 00:12:18,115 to catch people sharing snacks, I had Frank help me 295 00:12:18,117 --> 00:12:20,450 adjust the angles, to make sure they could also spot 296 00:12:20,452 --> 00:12:23,170 theater perverts, no matter where they were sitting. 297 00:12:23,172 --> 00:12:24,454 A little higher up. 298 00:12:24,456 --> 00:12:26,173 And as we perfected the camera's vantage point, 299 00:12:26,175 --> 00:12:29,960 I got to know a little bit more about this town I was in. 300 00:12:29,962 --> 00:12:32,879 So what's life like in Whittier? 301 00:12:32,881 --> 00:12:35,015 There's a-- quite a few parks, that are cool. 302 00:12:35,017 --> 00:12:38,719 Um, Ronald Reagan went to high school here. 303 00:12:38,721 --> 00:12:41,471 College... I think it has the most trees? 304 00:12:41,473 --> 00:12:44,641 In any city? Variety of trees... 305 00:12:44,643 --> 00:12:46,560 Wow. I didn't know that. 306 00:12:46,562 --> 00:12:48,311 Once the cameras were all set, 307 00:12:48,313 --> 00:12:50,113 I got in place for the next showing. 308 00:12:50,115 --> 00:12:52,699 And what I saw, shocked me. 309 00:12:52,701 --> 00:12:54,151 Share. Boom. 310 00:12:54,153 --> 00:12:57,320 Gotcha. That's premeditated sharing. 311 00:12:57,322 --> 00:13:00,157 They're just shameless. They just keep doing it. 312 00:13:00,159 --> 00:13:03,910 It's just like no one is even-- everyone is sharing. 313 00:13:03,912 --> 00:13:06,296 Knowing that this behavior would only continue 314 00:13:06,298 --> 00:13:07,998 without some sort of consequence, 315 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,499 after the screening was over, 316 00:13:09,501 --> 00:13:11,835 I led two of the perpetrators into the back room, 317 00:13:11,837 --> 00:13:13,587 to make an example of them. 318 00:13:13,589 --> 00:13:16,560 Uh, this right here is our, uh, monitoring system. 319 00:13:17,375 --> 00:13:19,541 - And you guys were sharing. - Mm-hmm. 320 00:13:19,978 --> 00:13:21,762 Because of that, that means you-- you have to 321 00:13:21,764 --> 00:13:24,347 - go up on the board. - What board? 322 00:13:25,003 --> 00:13:27,434 - The... - "popcorn sharing 323 00:13:27,436 --> 00:13:30,654 - and theaters... Uh-huh. - This is a violations board. 324 00:13:30,656 --> 00:13:32,522 Well, I don't think... I mean, we shared popcorn. 325 00:13:32,524 --> 00:13:34,185 - We weren't masturbating there. - No. 326 00:13:34,204 --> 00:13:36,421 It's not you, that's for when we catch someone else. 327 00:13:36,469 --> 00:13:38,333 Oh. - We just have one board for both. 328 00:13:38,369 --> 00:13:40,363 Okay, well you need to make two separate boards, 329 00:13:40,365 --> 00:13:42,249 'cause I ain't gonna be a masturbator up there. 330 00:13:42,251 --> 00:13:44,868 These cork boards are like $20. 331 00:13:44,870 --> 00:13:47,954 So, we'd have to buy two, if it was for-- 332 00:13:47,956 --> 00:13:49,384 and a separate one for masturbators. 333 00:13:49,390 --> 00:13:51,371 - So we just made it one board. - Well, you guys run a theater. 334 00:13:51,379 --> 00:13:53,122 You should be able to afford two boards. 335 00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:54,711 Okay, thank you for that feedback. 336 00:13:54,713 --> 00:13:56,046 - And we might take it in... - Yeah. 337 00:13:56,048 --> 00:13:56,904 - to account. 338 00:13:56,932 --> 00:13:59,049 With a punishment in place, I was hopeful it would 339 00:13:59,051 --> 00:14:01,718 curb violators. But the one thing I found out 340 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,721 about Whittier, is that people were just flat-out rude. 341 00:14:04,723 --> 00:14:06,523 I don't mind being on the board. 342 00:14:06,525 --> 00:14:08,763 Because I'll share, and share, and share. 343 00:14:08,763 --> 00:14:09,703 On top of that, 344 00:14:09,736 --> 00:14:11,551 when I finally showed Erik the system, 345 00:14:11,582 --> 00:14:13,548 he wasn't as excited as I had hoped. 346 00:14:14,032 --> 00:14:16,233 May not be for this theater. It may not be what we need. 347 00:14:16,235 --> 00:14:17,984 Okay. 348 00:14:17,986 --> 00:14:20,704 It was a hard blow, having two businesses reject 349 00:14:20,706 --> 00:14:23,456 my ideas in one week made me sad. 350 00:14:23,458 --> 00:14:25,792 My only hope was that my pitch with Simon 351 00:14:25,794 --> 00:14:27,077 would turn things around. 352 00:14:28,924 --> 00:14:31,091 It was the day of our big pitch. 353 00:14:31,093 --> 00:14:32,676 And Simon and I nervously waited 354 00:14:32,678 --> 00:14:34,261 in the lobby for our meeting. 355 00:14:34,263 --> 00:14:36,880 Before getting into the pitch, it might be good to start off 356 00:14:36,882 --> 00:14:39,550 with, you know, some Hollywood chitchat, or... 357 00:14:39,552 --> 00:14:41,718 - Right. - Make 'em aware that you-- 358 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:44,304 - you know-- you know the industry. - Yeah. A little small talk. 359 00:14:44,306 --> 00:14:45,773 - Yeah. - Yeah, okay. 360 00:14:45,775 --> 00:14:48,609 With Simon prepped, we met with reality TV producer 361 00:14:48,611 --> 00:14:51,111 Brant Pinvidic to see if we could land a deal 362 00:14:51,113 --> 00:14:53,113 for our new reality show. 363 00:14:53,115 --> 00:14:54,648 Do you remember that movie Captain Phillips? 364 00:14:54,650 --> 00:14:56,066 I do. 365 00:14:56,068 --> 00:14:58,152 Yeah, I heard that the, uh, Somali actor who played the, uh, 366 00:14:58,154 --> 00:14:59,820 who played the part of one of the pirates, 367 00:14:59,822 --> 00:15:01,989 I heard that he's almost broke-- broke right now, so... 368 00:15:01,991 --> 00:15:03,479 - Tough. - Yeah. 369 00:15:03,492 --> 00:15:04,561 - Tough business. - Yeah, it is. 370 00:15:04,581 --> 00:15:05,747 It's not all glamour. 371 00:15:05,831 --> 00:15:08,212 After Simon established his industry cred, 372 00:15:08,214 --> 00:15:09,630 we cued up our show for Brant. 373 00:15:09,632 --> 00:15:11,212 Here we go. 374 00:15:12,334 --> 00:15:13,917 "My name is Simon Kellogg, 375 00:15:15,004 --> 00:15:16,887 "and I'm a professional security guard. 376 00:15:16,889 --> 00:15:20,174 "My job requires constant focus, and split-second response time. 377 00:15:22,011 --> 00:15:24,678 "Nothing can keep me from focusing on my duty, 378 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,263 "except for one thing... 379 00:15:26,265 --> 00:15:30,818 "A crippling obsession with large breasts. 380 00:15:30,820 --> 00:15:32,486 "This is my story. 381 00:15:32,488 --> 00:15:34,458 "This is Simon Sees." 382 00:15:39,299 --> 00:15:42,196 Every morning, I wake up about 7:00 a.m. or 7:15 a.m., 383 00:15:42,198 --> 00:15:43,997 and then I usually have a glass of water 384 00:15:43,999 --> 00:15:46,036 that I put on the bedside table the night before. 385 00:15:49,421 --> 00:15:50,921 Then I make my bed, 386 00:15:50,923 --> 00:15:53,373 and then I go into the bathroom and I, uh, shave, 387 00:15:53,375 --> 00:15:55,442 brush my teeth, and take a shower. 388 00:15:57,172 --> 00:15:59,148 Next, I come back into my bedroom, and, 389 00:15:59,215 --> 00:16:01,882 if it's a work day, I put on my security uniform. 390 00:16:01,884 --> 00:16:05,644 Uh, usually my socks first, and then my pants, 391 00:16:06,889 --> 00:16:10,019 and then my undershirt, and then my security shirt. 392 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,310 I usually don't do up my pants until I have my shirts on, 393 00:16:13,312 --> 00:16:15,362 because it's easier to tuck my shirts in, 394 00:16:15,364 --> 00:16:16,952 after I've had my pants on. 395 00:16:18,701 --> 00:16:21,068 Then I go into my kitchen, and I usually have, uh, 396 00:16:21,070 --> 00:16:23,203 breakfast, and sometimes a cup of coffee. 397 00:16:23,205 --> 00:16:25,539 Today, for breakfast, I made a Hot Pockets sandwich, 398 00:16:25,557 --> 00:16:27,967 because it tasted better than eating cereal. 399 00:16:29,719 --> 00:16:32,212 Then the microwave sounded, and I knew my Hot Pockets 400 00:16:32,214 --> 00:16:33,943 was done, so I took it out of the microwave. 401 00:16:36,218 --> 00:16:39,253 My trick is to take, uh, the first bite, and then 402 00:16:39,255 --> 00:16:42,306 open the sandwich a little bit, and then I blow on the inside, 403 00:16:42,308 --> 00:16:43,964 uh, to cool it down. 404 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:45,926 And then after I finished 405 00:16:45,928 --> 00:16:49,062 eating the Hot Pockets sandwich, I, uh, rinsed off my plate, 406 00:16:49,064 --> 00:16:50,467 and put it on the dish drainer. 407 00:16:51,837 --> 00:16:53,675 Then I leave the house and go to work. 408 00:16:54,937 --> 00:16:57,070 Today I was assigned to work at a jewelry store 409 00:16:57,072 --> 00:16:58,238 in Chatsworth. 410 00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:00,157 I always try to be honest about things, 411 00:17:00,159 --> 00:17:02,910 so whenever I start a new job, I always try to let the owner 412 00:17:02,912 --> 00:17:05,445 know about me, so there will be no surprises. 413 00:17:05,447 --> 00:17:08,081 There is just one thing that I think you should know about... 414 00:17:08,083 --> 00:17:11,034 Um, sometimes I get distracted by women with big chests, 415 00:17:11,036 --> 00:17:13,036 um, you know, I might be looking at them, or something, 416 00:17:13,038 --> 00:17:14,139 But I, I-- I-- I-- 417 00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,204 Okay, this is something we really don't need to discuss, 418 00:17:16,221 --> 00:17:17,708 - I believe. - Okay. 419 00:17:17,710 --> 00:17:21,178 After I briefed him, I got in to my position and started working. 420 00:17:21,180 --> 00:17:23,380 I like to stand by the door, so I can see everybody 421 00:17:23,382 --> 00:17:27,050 who's coming in, and watch for any suspicious people. 422 00:17:27,052 --> 00:17:29,136 I noticed that there was a female employee, 423 00:17:29,138 --> 00:17:32,022 Uh, she was Asian, and in her-- in her early to mid 30s. 424 00:17:32,024 --> 00:17:34,107 But she was not a distraction, because she did not 425 00:17:34,142 --> 00:17:35,244 have large breasts. 426 00:17:35,644 --> 00:17:37,589 Then, about 20 or 30 minutes later, 427 00:17:37,622 --> 00:17:40,147 I heard the door open, and I saw a customer walk in. 428 00:17:40,149 --> 00:17:42,731 And I noticed it was a woman with large breasts. 429 00:17:44,787 --> 00:17:47,404 If a robbery happened then, I would proba-- probably 430 00:17:47,406 --> 00:17:49,656 be so distracted by the woman, that I would probably 431 00:17:49,658 --> 00:17:51,658 not even notice it. 432 00:17:51,660 --> 00:17:53,377 While the woman was in the store, 433 00:17:53,379 --> 00:17:54,661 I just kept thinking about all the things 434 00:17:54,663 --> 00:17:55,712 I'd like to do with her. 435 00:17:55,714 --> 00:17:57,130 How I'd like to get naked with her, 436 00:17:57,132 --> 00:17:59,800 and start to, uh, start to hold her breasts, 437 00:17:59,802 --> 00:18:03,503 and, uh, massage them. And then, um, to use my hands 438 00:18:03,505 --> 00:18:06,006 and try to uh, try to rock them. 439 00:18:06,008 --> 00:18:07,519 And, uh, massage them. 440 00:18:09,561 --> 00:18:12,320 That's super, super pretty. I really like that. 441 00:18:12,371 --> 00:18:15,015 Well, when I get into this state, time stands still 442 00:18:15,017 --> 00:18:17,985 or it kinda like, slows down, uh, uh, to a-- 443 00:18:17,987 --> 00:18:19,686 to an almost-stopping point. 444 00:18:19,688 --> 00:18:21,605 I mean, I have a little bit of a sense of time. 445 00:18:21,607 --> 00:18:23,657 I know that time is moving, but it's movinga 446 00:18:23,659 --> 00:18:25,035 very, very slowly. 447 00:18:25,944 --> 00:18:27,995 When she left, I opened the door for her, 448 00:18:27,997 --> 00:18:29,613 And said, "Good-bye, have a nice day." 449 00:18:29,615 --> 00:18:31,498 - Thank you, have a good day. - You too, thank you. 450 00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:33,750 It allows me to get one last glance 451 00:18:33,752 --> 00:18:35,549 A-- a-- at her, as she leaves. 452 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:40,117 I think they were probably "D" or double "D". 453 00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:43,210 After, when there was a break in the customers, 454 00:18:43,212 --> 00:18:45,095 I felt the need to go to my employer and 455 00:18:45,097 --> 00:18:46,580 explain my situation to him. 456 00:18:46,599 --> 00:18:48,094 Um, I don't know if you're aware of this, 457 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,050 but a little while ago, a young woman came in 458 00:18:50,052 --> 00:18:51,468 who had a very big chest, 459 00:18:51,470 --> 00:18:54,054 and, um, I couldn't help but look at her, and I-- 460 00:18:54,056 --> 00:18:55,792 I got a little distracted, I don't know if you... 461 00:18:55,829 --> 00:18:57,557 Um, I don't know that this should be something 462 00:18:57,559 --> 00:18:58,859 that we keep bringing up, Simon. 463 00:18:58,861 --> 00:19:00,310 I'm just concerned why you keep bringing it up. 464 00:19:00,312 --> 00:19:02,229 I don't think it's necessary to talk about it, 465 00:19:02,231 --> 00:19:03,814 as long as you can do your job. 466 00:19:03,816 --> 00:19:04,918 - Okay. - Okay? 467 00:19:04,973 --> 00:19:07,200 Well I promise I won't let myself get distracted again. 468 00:19:07,202 --> 00:19:09,653 - Okay. - Okay. 469 00:19:09,655 --> 00:19:11,571 I think the experience changed me for the better, 470 00:19:11,573 --> 00:19:13,373 because it helped me realize that 471 00:19:13,375 --> 00:19:15,575 it was pretty embarrassing to talk about that, 472 00:19:15,577 --> 00:19:17,377 so, um, next time 473 00:19:17,379 --> 00:19:20,130 I probably won't tell my boss about being distracted at work 474 00:19:20,132 --> 00:19:21,520 by women with large breasts. 475 00:19:28,954 --> 00:19:32,476 Uh, uh listen. It's well shot, it's well put together, 476 00:19:32,478 --> 00:19:34,761 um, the idea that you can't do your job 477 00:19:34,763 --> 00:19:36,763 with large breasts floating around 478 00:19:36,765 --> 00:19:38,181 - is a funny hook. - Yeah. 479 00:19:38,183 --> 00:19:40,934 Uh, the biggest limitation, of course, is that 480 00:19:40,936 --> 00:19:42,018 there's nowhere to sell it. 481 00:19:42,020 --> 00:19:43,320 Well, I think that a lot of people-- 482 00:19:43,322 --> 00:19:45,322 not just security guards, a lot of men-- 483 00:19:45,324 --> 00:19:47,991 when they watch this, they would probably feel 484 00:19:47,993 --> 00:19:49,409 - a little less... - Right. 485 00:19:49,411 --> 00:19:50,861 like it was a perversion, and more of a natural thing, 486 00:19:50,863 --> 00:19:52,946 - You know? Yeah. - Right. 487 00:19:52,948 --> 00:19:56,500 - Right, so it's humanizing it. - Yeah. In your current form, 488 00:19:56,502 --> 00:19:59,252 I'm gonna have to say no, I'm sorry. It's a pass. 489 00:19:59,254 --> 00:20:01,705 - And pass means that... - No. 490 00:20:01,707 --> 00:20:03,123 Right. 491 00:20:03,449 --> 00:20:06,050 I was upset that we couldn't sell the show. 492 00:20:06,591 --> 00:20:08,792 But I felt even worse that I let down Simon, 493 00:20:08,794 --> 00:20:10,322 after getting his hopes up. 494 00:20:10,342 --> 00:20:12,462 - Are you sad? - A little bit. 495 00:20:12,464 --> 00:20:14,631 I really was hoping that he liked the show. 496 00:20:14,633 --> 00:20:16,683 But Simon showed a quality that day, 497 00:20:16,685 --> 00:20:19,602 that you rarely see in people: perseverance. 498 00:20:19,604 --> 00:20:21,805 He's probably a little bit-- a little bit out of touch 499 00:20:21,807 --> 00:20:24,274 with the mainstream audience in America, I think. 500 00:20:24,276 --> 00:20:26,142 I think we should keep the breasts part, 501 00:20:26,144 --> 00:20:30,480 and maybe, uh, maybe also include me in my Elvis costume. 502 00:20:30,482 --> 00:20:33,483 - Do you have an Elvis costume? - Yes. 503 00:20:33,485 --> 00:20:36,286 Simon didn't want to give up on our show. 504 00:20:36,288 --> 00:20:38,538 And even though it was obvious that the Elvis costume 505 00:20:38,540 --> 00:20:42,075 would only make things worse, his spirit made me realize 506 00:20:42,077 --> 00:20:44,327 that Simon would be fine, no matter what 507 00:20:44,329 --> 00:20:45,495 life threw at him. 508 00:20:52,504 --> 00:20:54,056 - That was great. - Okay. 509 00:20:57,357 --> 00:21:00,450 Sync and corrections by dwigt www.addic7ed.com