1
00:01:48,927 --> 00:01:51,452
The colossal Kevin O'Shea
goes back to pass.
2
00:01:51,629 --> 00:01:53,927
Sees his little brother Danny downfield.
3
00:01:54,099 --> 00:01:57,933
The rush is on. The ball is in the air.
The crowd is going wild.
4
00:01:58,103 --> 00:02:02,096
Danny catches the ball.
He's at the 10, the 20, the 25.
5
00:02:02,273 --> 00:02:04,468
It looks like he could go all the way.
6
00:02:04,642 --> 00:02:07,634
The O'Shea brothers
are about to win the championship.
7
00:02:07,812 --> 00:02:12,010
Oh, there's a fumble.
Danny got it. Hey, Kevin, wait up.
8
00:02:12,183 --> 00:02:16,847
How many touchdowns you gonna throw me?
I'll bet it's at least 50, maybe 100.
9
00:02:17,022 --> 00:02:20,423
- What time was Mom gonna pick you up?
- She's not picking me up.
10
00:02:20,592 --> 00:02:23,959
She said I could spend
the day with you. Isn't that great?
11
00:02:24,129 --> 00:02:26,154
Yeah. Great.
12
00:02:36,174 --> 00:02:38,108
- Okay, spaces or laces?
- Spaces!
13
00:02:38,276 --> 00:02:41,473
- Come on!
- Go!
14
00:02:42,047 --> 00:02:43,480
- Come on!
- Spaces!
15
00:02:46,551 --> 00:02:49,019
- Laces.
- Laces, daddy-o.
16
00:02:50,355 --> 00:02:53,950
- I'll take Butz.
- Yes. It's over.
17
00:02:54,692 --> 00:02:56,353
- Stein and Rip.
- Yes.
18
00:02:56,528 --> 00:02:58,553
- Pinski.
- Yes.
19
00:02:58,730 --> 00:03:00,197
- McCormick.
- Yeah.
20
00:03:00,365 --> 00:03:01,957
- Ralphy.
- Yes.
21
00:03:02,133 --> 00:03:04,101
- Mouse.
- Yes.
22
00:03:04,269 --> 00:03:06,362
- Moritti.
- Yeah.
23
00:03:06,538 --> 00:03:09,029
All right. Let's play some football.
24
00:03:09,340 --> 00:03:11,467
Hey, Danny, the ball. Give me.
25
00:03:12,343 --> 00:03:15,676
I must be pretty bad
if my own brother won't even pick me.
26
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:19,146
- Danny, look at it my way.
- I stink and you know it.
27
00:03:19,317 --> 00:03:22,343
You're perfect, and I stink.
That's it. The end.
28
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:23,748
No, that's not it.
29
00:03:23,922 --> 00:03:27,016
It's just that I'm so good
it makes you look really bad.
30
00:03:27,192 --> 00:03:29,558
- Are you trying to cheer me up?
- Yeah.
31
00:03:30,161 --> 00:03:32,925
- It's not working.
- See, I stink at something too.
32
00:03:33,098 --> 00:03:36,590
Give me the ball.
I'll score a couple touchdowns for you.
33
00:03:39,137 --> 00:03:41,765
We kick off. Stand back, baby.
34
00:03:44,542 --> 00:03:46,339
Hi, Danny.
35
00:03:47,412 --> 00:03:48,640
Hi, Patty.
36
00:03:48,813 --> 00:03:53,011
- Aren't you playing today?
- No, I'm on the injured list.
37
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:57,717
Hey, Danny...
38
00:03:58,423 --> 00:03:59,720
...see that water tower?
39
00:03:59,991 --> 00:04:03,119
One day our name's
gonna be up there in big letters.
40
00:04:03,294 --> 00:04:04,727
The O'Shea brothers.
41
00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:08,127
We're gonna own this town.
You and me, buddy.
42
00:04:30,889 --> 00:04:34,154
Dig. Dig. Dig. Dig. Come on, people.
Show me something.
43
00:04:34,325 --> 00:04:36,156
Move it! Move it!
44
00:04:36,327 --> 00:04:40,263
Are you kidding, people? It's called sweat.
Show me some. Move. Move.
45
00:04:41,666 --> 00:04:44,396
Come on, gentlemen. Suck it up.
Suck it up!
46
00:04:44,569 --> 00:04:46,503
- Faster.
- Looking good, coach.
47
00:04:49,274 --> 00:04:51,538
- Oh, baby, now we're talking.
- Yeah.
48
00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:56,237
All right. Everybody, back up. Back up.
Give him room. Give him some air.
49
00:04:57,415 --> 00:04:59,110
Nice pop, Icebox.
50
00:05:00,151 --> 00:05:01,641
Thanks, Uncle Kev.
51
00:05:01,819 --> 00:05:03,684
- Is he dead?
- Well, he ain't moving.
52
00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:08,722
- You killed him, Icebox.
- Hey, Rudy, you okay?
53
00:05:10,595 --> 00:05:12,290
Oh, Rudy.
54
00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:18,595
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich?
Are you nuts?
55
00:05:19,771 --> 00:05:20,829
It's still good.
56
00:05:21,005 --> 00:05:23,997
You'll never get anywhere treating
your helmet like a lunch box.
57
00:05:24,175 --> 00:05:26,143
- What is that?
- Cheetos.
58
00:05:26,311 --> 00:05:28,643
- Crunchy or puffed?
- Puffed.
59
00:05:28,813 --> 00:05:29,802
Wimp.
60
00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:32,176
Everyone from here over,
go with Coach Butz.
61
00:05:32,650 --> 00:05:34,880
Everyone from here over, come with me.
62
00:05:35,153 --> 00:05:37,815
- Come on!
- Let's find out who's gonna make this team.
63
00:05:37,989 --> 00:05:40,617
- My mom made that!
- Move it.
64
00:05:40,792 --> 00:05:42,453
Set. Go.
65
00:05:45,830 --> 00:05:47,354
Set. Go.
66
00:05:51,469 --> 00:05:52,629
Go.
67
00:05:54,772 --> 00:05:57,536
- Oh, man.
- Next time.
68
00:05:57,709 --> 00:06:02,203
- Fifth one he's booted.
- Hands like frying pans. Set. Go.
69
00:06:04,816 --> 00:06:07,080
Why are you doing this to me, fellas?
70
00:06:07,252 --> 00:06:11,313
I cut your nails, wash you,
put gloves on you when you're cold.
71
00:06:11,489 --> 00:06:14,652
Hey, Hanon, you ever
catch anything? Ever?
72
00:06:14,826 --> 00:06:17,852
Caught a cold yesterday, Murph.
Here, have some.
73
00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:21,328
Gross. Gross. Get off of me, you little dork.
74
00:06:21,799 --> 00:06:23,232
Speed:
75
00:06:23,568 --> 00:06:27,698
The distance gained
divided by the time of travel.
76
00:06:27,872 --> 00:06:30,932
You clowns want to play football,
you gotta move.
77
00:06:31,109 --> 00:06:32,576
Ready.
78
00:06:37,749 --> 00:06:40,582
Come on, Tad. Go, Tad. Come on. Dig.
79
00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,912
What is this, a telethon? Ready.
80
00:06:57,068 --> 00:06:58,228
Next.
81
00:07:02,774 --> 00:07:05,902
Eight point five. Excellent, Briggs.
82
00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:09,745
- How did I do?
- I don't know. I don't have a sundial.
83
00:07:09,914 --> 00:07:11,404
Back in line.
84
00:07:11,582 --> 00:07:14,073
Hey, Icebox...
85
00:07:14,252 --> 00:07:17,653
...you look like a boy
and play like a boy.
86
00:07:17,822 --> 00:07:19,187
Do you pee standing up?
87
00:07:19,357 --> 00:07:22,224
No, when she's hot to trot
she's still gotta squat.
88
00:07:22,827 --> 00:07:27,560
- Get off. I can't breathe!
- That's the whole point.
89
00:07:29,334 --> 00:07:31,666
- Becky, let him go.
- I can't breathe.
90
00:07:31,836 --> 00:07:34,270
- Get away. Come on. Get off!
- Let him go.
91
00:07:34,439 --> 00:07:36,634
- Let me go.
- Please, stop.
92
00:07:37,942 --> 00:07:39,807
You're lucky my dad showed up.
93
00:07:44,148 --> 00:07:46,082
- Hi, Danny.
- Hi.
94
00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:48,343
- Hey, guys.
- Hi, Dan.
95
00:07:48,519 --> 00:07:52,615
Hey, guess what, Uncle Dan?
I got the whole headlock thing on tape.
96
00:07:52,790 --> 00:07:55,918
- Here, wanna see?
- No, that's okay. Thanks.
97
00:07:56,094 --> 00:07:59,154
- How's she doing?
- She's the best one out there.
98
00:08:06,504 --> 00:08:08,233
You know...
99
00:08:09,574 --> 00:08:13,169
...today I'm reminded
of what a lucky guy I am.
100
00:08:14,679 --> 00:08:17,341
Lucky to have been born an O'Shea.
101
00:08:19,617 --> 00:08:22,177
Lucky to have been born in this great town.
102
00:08:22,353 --> 00:08:24,878
Lucky to have been blessed
with abilities...
103
00:08:25,056 --> 00:08:29,186
...that allowed me to bring
something back here to Urbania...
104
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:30,725
...my town.
105
00:08:30,895 --> 00:08:33,295
- Things like:
- Three high school championships.
106
00:08:33,464 --> 00:08:36,695
- Three high school championships.
- A collegiate championship.
107
00:08:36,868 --> 00:08:39,666
- A collegiate title.
- An all-American title.
108
00:08:39,837 --> 00:08:44,570
- An all-American title. And not to mention...
- And not to mention a Heisman Trophy.
109
00:08:45,009 --> 00:08:46,408
...a Heisman Trophy.
110
00:08:52,850 --> 00:08:54,317
Today, I'm even more lucky...
111
00:08:54,485 --> 00:08:58,319
...because there's one more thing
I can bring back to this town:
112
00:08:58,823 --> 00:09:00,984
A Peewee State Championship.
113
00:09:01,159 --> 00:09:02,592
Yeah!
114
00:09:11,002 --> 00:09:12,492
All right. All right.
115
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:18,000
Now, when you hear your name called...
116
00:09:18,176 --> 00:09:20,610
...I want you to go over to Coach Butz...
117
00:09:20,778 --> 00:09:22,177
...and pick up your jersey.
118
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:26,280
- Those jerseys are so cool.
- Dibs on Montana's number.
119
00:09:26,451 --> 00:09:29,420
I'm getting Michael Irvin's number,
the big 8-8.
120
00:09:29,587 --> 00:09:31,555
I just want one of those shirts.
121
00:09:32,290 --> 00:09:34,884
- Briggs.
- Yeah!
122
00:09:35,693 --> 00:09:37,661
- Patterson.
- Yes!
123
00:09:37,829 --> 00:09:39,490
- Hoffs.
- Yeah.
124
00:09:39,664 --> 00:09:42,428
- Lewis.
- Yeah.
125
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,033
Bookman.
126
00:09:45,470 --> 00:09:48,132
- Grabelski.
- Grabelski!
127
00:09:48,306 --> 00:09:50,740
- Rivera.
- Rivera!
128
00:09:50,942 --> 00:09:54,503
- Scanlon.
- Scanlon, my man.
129
00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:57,239
- Parkhurst.
- Yes.
130
00:09:59,050 --> 00:10:01,814
- Walker.
- Yeah.
131
00:10:01,986 --> 00:10:04,819
- Lindemann.
- Yeah.
132
00:10:05,223 --> 00:10:06,952
- Beauregard.
- Yeah.
133
00:10:07,124 --> 00:10:08,785
Gibbs.
134
00:10:10,161 --> 00:10:12,959
- Grieson.
- Yes!
135
00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:16,659
And last but not least...
136
00:10:17,535 --> 00:10:20,231
...the backbone of this team...
137
00:10:21,739 --> 00:10:25,004
...Shawn Murphy.
- Yes! I knew it, Becky!
138
00:10:25,176 --> 00:10:28,805
Yes, thank you! I knew it!
139
00:10:35,553 --> 00:10:36,986
Now...
140
00:10:37,321 --> 00:10:38,788
...for the rest of you...
141
00:10:40,391 --> 00:10:42,416
...l'd like to say...
142
00:10:42,793 --> 00:10:44,454
Well, I just...
143
00:10:44,629 --> 00:10:47,655
I'd like to thank you for trying out.
144
00:10:47,832 --> 00:10:52,826
And I want you to remember,
hey, there's always next year.
145
00:10:55,540 --> 00:10:58,168
All right. Go.
146
00:11:12,590 --> 00:11:14,057
Okay.
147
00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:19,455
Well, I think this really sucks.
148
00:11:20,731 --> 00:11:23,962
I guess there's nothing we can learn
from this. Is there?
149
00:11:24,135 --> 00:11:26,933
Never try out for anything again.
150
00:11:45,957 --> 00:11:47,857
- Take her easy, coach.
- Hey, Ross.
151
00:11:48,159 --> 00:11:49,683
Kevin.
152
00:11:49,860 --> 00:11:53,728
- What the hell are you doing?
- I'm putting together a championship team.
153
00:11:53,898 --> 00:11:55,832
Did you see the faces of
the other kids?
154
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,299
Football isn't about faces.
It's about speed, about talent.
155
00:11:59,470 --> 00:12:02,496
I picked the best.
Besides, I only got three weeks.
156
00:12:02,673 --> 00:12:05,369
- I can't waste my time with...
- Losers.
157
00:12:05,776 --> 00:12:08,609
- Butz.
- Who the hell are you, Vince Lombardi?
158
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,672
This is peewee football.
159
00:12:10,848 --> 00:12:14,545
- Every kid should have a chance to play.
- Not on this team.
160
00:12:15,620 --> 00:12:18,214
What about Becky?
She's better than those boys.
161
00:12:18,389 --> 00:12:21,085
I hate to break it to you,
but Icebox is a girl.
162
00:12:21,258 --> 00:12:23,749
If you treat her like a girl,
she'll act like one.
163
00:12:23,928 --> 00:12:28,262
- Don't tell me how to raise my daughter.
- Don't tell me how to pick my squad.
164
00:12:28,799 --> 00:12:31,131
Way to go, Kevin.
You hurt their feelings.
165
00:12:31,302 --> 00:12:33,736
- Danny...
- You hurt their feelings.
166
00:12:33,904 --> 00:12:36,338
You and I both know
those kids can't cut it.
167
00:12:36,507 --> 00:12:39,840
What am I supposed to do, lie to them?
Build up their hopes?
168
00:12:40,011 --> 00:12:42,445
Trust me. It's better this way.
169
00:12:42,913 --> 00:12:45,541
You'll thank me tomorrow.
170
00:12:47,051 --> 00:12:49,815
I knew you'd see it my way.
171
00:13:10,408 --> 00:13:13,571
God bless family, friends...
172
00:13:13,744 --> 00:13:18,010
...flowers, Nickelodeon,
all the little kitties...
173
00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:23,676
...PEZ, Mr. Lorenzo, the school janitor...
His ears are so hairy.
174
00:13:23,854 --> 00:13:29,258
- He's an unfortunate man, Priscilla.
- God bless Daddy's favorite sport, football.
175
00:13:29,427 --> 00:13:30,416
- Amen.
- Amen, baby.
176
00:13:30,594 --> 00:13:32,585
- Amen.
- Dig in.
177
00:13:32,863 --> 00:13:35,923
I still don't understand
why you didn't pick Becky.
178
00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:38,796
- Yes, you do, Karen.
- It's not good enough, Kevin.
179
00:13:38,969 --> 00:13:42,928
She's your niece, and she's one
of the best players out there.
180
00:13:43,107 --> 00:13:46,804
- Yeah, and she can make boys cry.
- Honey, she's a girl.
181
00:13:46,977 --> 00:13:49,241
And girls can run countries...
182
00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:52,849
...they can sit on the Supreme Court,
they can discover radium...
183
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:55,343
...but they can't play peewee football.
184
00:13:55,519 --> 00:13:57,646
- Correct.
- Oh, Kevin.
185
00:13:57,822 --> 00:14:01,656
All right. Maybe I went a little too far.
Maybe I've been a little...
186
00:14:01,826 --> 00:14:05,694
- Pigheaded? Chauvinistic, maybe.
- All right. You proved your point.
187
00:14:05,863 --> 00:14:08,457
I think Becky should be
involved with the team.
188
00:14:08,799 --> 00:14:10,494
- Really?
- Yeah, or any girl.
189
00:14:10,668 --> 00:14:13,637
Debbie, get your friends.
I need girls with spirit.
190
00:14:13,804 --> 00:14:17,296
- I need pom-poms. I need cheerleaders!
- Yes!
191
00:14:21,712 --> 00:14:24,510
I hate not being picked.
192
00:14:26,684 --> 00:14:28,015
Hey, I got an idea.
193
00:14:28,185 --> 00:14:31,052
Why don't we go put some
mud tires on the go-cart?
194
00:14:31,222 --> 00:14:34,453
- I don't want to.
- All right. Forget the tires.
195
00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:38,561
How about if we go camping
in the woods, huh? Make moose sounds?
196
00:14:39,830 --> 00:14:41,855
Forget the moose sounds.
197
00:14:42,032 --> 00:14:44,000
Listen, Beck...
198
00:14:44,568 --> 00:14:49,096
...remember when Mom said that she was
gonna have to do what was best for her?
199
00:14:50,141 --> 00:14:54,669
Well, when she chose to leave us
she was kind of making a choice for us too.
200
00:14:54,845 --> 00:14:59,373
I mean, in a way, it gave us a chance
to get real close, you and me. Right?
201
00:15:00,785 --> 00:15:04,050
When Uncle Kevin didn't pick you
it was the same thing...
202
00:15:04,221 --> 00:15:07,213
...because, in a way, he freed
you up for something else.
203
00:15:07,558 --> 00:15:10,891
Or to do something different
where you could do the picking.
204
00:15:11,061 --> 00:15:12,551
Dad...
205
00:15:12,730 --> 00:15:14,630
...I just wanna play football.
206
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:19,697
Hey, sweetie, if I had a football team,
I'd pick you.
207
00:15:31,849 --> 00:15:34,613
We never get picked for anything.
208
00:15:34,885 --> 00:15:38,651
- Life stinks.
- Yeah, there goes my shot at the pros.
209
00:15:38,823 --> 00:15:40,757
I'm gonna have to be a senator.
210
00:15:40,925 --> 00:15:44,292
Here's a kiss for Murphy
and one for Patterson and Briggs.
211
00:15:53,437 --> 00:15:57,134
Zol-fart, what kind of road kill
did your mom feed you last night?
212
00:15:57,308 --> 00:16:00,971
- Free-range skunk.
- This is a private establishment, gentlemen.
213
00:16:01,545 --> 00:16:03,308
Yeah, scram.
214
00:16:04,582 --> 00:16:08,882
- Please?
- I'm hurt. I'm really hurt.
215
00:16:09,053 --> 00:16:13,251
Yeah, we just came by to tell you guys
how incredibly sorry we are...
216
00:16:13,424 --> 00:16:15,449
...that you didn't make the team.
217
00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:17,025
Not!
218
00:16:24,468 --> 00:16:26,333
The Icebox!
219
00:16:29,106 --> 00:16:31,506
- Let's get out of here.
- Go!
220
00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:35,832
Sure. Big shot on the go-cart.
221
00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:38,805
I'd give anything
to get you on the field.
222
00:17:38,976 --> 00:17:42,343
- Don't worry, Murph. You'll get your chance.
- Yeah, sure.
223
00:17:42,513 --> 00:17:45,277
You and your spaz patrol
didn't make the team.
224
00:17:45,449 --> 00:17:47,781
Well, I got a little news flash for you.
225
00:17:47,952 --> 00:17:52,412
We started our own team,
and we're gonna kick your Cowboy butts.
226
00:17:52,589 --> 00:17:55,285
If you got a team, who's your coach?
227
00:17:55,459 --> 00:17:57,222
My dad.
228
00:17:57,861 --> 00:18:00,056
Your dad?
229
00:18:11,275 --> 00:18:14,540
There are few times in a man's life
when he can howl at the moon.
230
00:18:14,712 --> 00:18:18,375
When he gets married, when he scores
the winning touchdown in a game...
231
00:18:18,615 --> 00:18:21,345
...and when he buys his first Chevy.
Congratulations.
232
00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:24,078
- Thanks, Mr. O'Shea.
- Butz.
233
00:18:27,658 --> 00:18:30,388
- I'm going to lunch. You wanna surprise me?
- Yeah.
234
00:18:30,561 --> 00:18:33,792
- Sell a car.
- Okay. Sure.
235
00:18:52,583 --> 00:18:56,849
We're down by six points.
It's third and goal, two seconds left.
236
00:18:57,021 --> 00:18:59,353
I've been hit so many times I can't see.
237
00:18:59,523 --> 00:19:03,323
I'm busted up. I'm bleeding.
I'm so bruised I look like a code blue.
238
00:19:03,494 --> 00:19:06,292
- Two seconds? Thought it was four.
- Swore it was three.
239
00:19:06,463 --> 00:19:11,423
Believe me. It was two seconds.
Now the crowd in the stadium is going nuts.
240
00:19:11,602 --> 00:19:14,833
- All eyes are on me. I know...
- Howdy, gents.
241
00:19:15,506 --> 00:19:16,939
Already voted, mayor.
242
00:19:18,075 --> 00:19:22,341
O'Shea, I got my tail in a trap.
We gotta talk.
243
00:19:22,513 --> 00:19:25,505
Excuse me, boys. A little peewee business.
244
00:19:26,316 --> 00:19:28,216
Four seconds.
245
00:19:28,385 --> 00:19:31,377
To hell with the time,
you don't know what year it is.
246
00:19:31,555 --> 00:19:32,681
No.
247
00:19:32,856 --> 00:19:36,257
I'm feeling kind of foolish, son.
248
00:19:36,427 --> 00:19:37,724
Maybe it's the tie.
249
00:19:39,163 --> 00:19:42,997
Never mind the tie.
Now, we got a turd in the punch bowl.
250
00:19:43,167 --> 00:19:44,259
What?
251
00:19:44,435 --> 00:19:47,836
I got Urbania in the Pop Warner
league by telling everybody...
252
00:19:48,005 --> 00:19:50,838
...that the great Kevin O'Shea
was gonna be coaching.
253
00:19:51,008 --> 00:19:53,636
- Yeah?
- I just got a phone call.
254
00:19:53,811 --> 00:19:56,644
It seems there's two teams in this town.
255
00:19:56,814 --> 00:19:58,441
Who's coaching the other one?
256
00:19:58,615 --> 00:20:00,981
Hey, fellas. Good morning, Louise.
257
00:20:01,151 --> 00:20:03,210
How you doing, champ?
258
00:20:07,458 --> 00:20:08,823
- Dad.
- Hi.
259
00:20:08,992 --> 00:20:10,619
I gotta tell you something.
260
00:20:10,794 --> 00:20:14,662
Me and the guys, we're forming
our own football team. Love you a lot.
261
00:20:14,832 --> 00:20:17,096
You trying to make me
look like an idiot?
262
00:20:17,267 --> 00:20:20,065
Where do you come off
trying to put together a team?
263
00:20:20,237 --> 00:20:24,264
I mean, what makes you think
that you could coach football?
264
00:20:29,446 --> 00:20:32,142
- I just heard about this...
- I don't want to hear it.
265
00:20:32,316 --> 00:20:36,412
No, Danny. You can't coach football.
Hell, you couldn't even play.
266
00:20:36,587 --> 00:20:39,715
- Whose fault was that?
- It wasn't my fault.
267
00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:42,916
Who said life was fair?
Some of us run for touchdowns...
268
00:20:43,093 --> 00:20:44,856
...some of us run the projector.
269
00:20:45,028 --> 00:20:48,759
- I ran the class projector.
- I'm sure you were a great projectionist.
270
00:20:48,932 --> 00:20:51,833
Danny, listen, guys like you
and kids like that...
271
00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:55,563
They can't help that they're no good,
but they learn things.
272
00:20:55,739 --> 00:20:58,799
I mean they invent things.
They win Nobel Prizes.
273
00:20:58,976 --> 00:21:03,572
Einstein. Could he catch?
Did anybody care? No.
274
00:21:03,814 --> 00:21:06,044
Danny, listen to me. Listen to me.
275
00:21:06,216 --> 00:21:09,310
These things that you do
with the kids, they're great.
276
00:21:09,486 --> 00:21:11,317
I think they're admirable.
277
00:21:11,488 --> 00:21:15,720
You want to start a chess club,
a little nature walk class? This is fine.
278
00:21:17,828 --> 00:21:19,455
So let me get this straight.
279
00:21:19,630 --> 00:21:22,326
It's okay with you if I do something
with the kids?
280
00:21:22,499 --> 00:21:23,932
Sure.
281
00:21:24,535 --> 00:21:27,095
- But not football.
- Exactly.
282
00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:30,332
I knew you'd see it my way.
283
00:21:30,507 --> 00:21:31,974
- No, I don't.
- Pardon me?
284
00:21:32,142 --> 00:21:33,666
I don't see it your way.
285
00:21:34,244 --> 00:21:38,078
I've really never seen it your way.
I hate your way.
286
00:21:38,248 --> 00:21:40,808
- Now what's gotten into you?
- I'll tell you.
287
00:21:40,984 --> 00:21:44,420
You've gotten into me,
and I'm sick of it.
288
00:21:46,690 --> 00:21:50,558
- We're forming our own team.
- League rules state: One town. One team.
289
00:21:50,727 --> 00:21:52,854
- You can't have two.
- Have a playoff.
290
00:21:53,030 --> 00:21:57,194
That's a great idea, Wilbur.
How about it, fellas?
291
00:21:57,367 --> 00:21:59,301
How about it?
292
00:21:59,469 --> 00:22:02,336
Two Saturdays from today,
meet me at half-court.
293
00:22:02,506 --> 00:22:05,703
It's the 50-yard line, Dad.
294
00:22:08,212 --> 00:22:09,474
Danny...
295
00:22:10,647 --> 00:22:12,342
...you don't stand a chance.
296
00:22:12,783 --> 00:22:15,183
We just want to play.
297
00:22:18,522 --> 00:22:20,547
Yeah!
298
00:22:27,364 --> 00:22:29,992
Where are we gonna find
anybody for the team?
299
00:22:30,167 --> 00:22:32,761
Someone who's good,
not at basketball, but like...
300
00:22:32,936 --> 00:22:34,995
Are you guys kidding me?
301
00:22:43,247 --> 00:22:45,078
Nothing but glass.
302
00:22:45,249 --> 00:22:46,716
You want to play football?
303
00:22:46,883 --> 00:22:49,977
Mr. O'Shea, I have an aversion
to pain and suffering.
304
00:22:50,153 --> 00:22:52,951
Nubie, I'm not talking
about setting foot on the field.
305
00:22:53,123 --> 00:22:57,924
I need somebody to help me coach,
you know, to come up with some plays.
306
00:22:58,795 --> 00:23:00,262
What kind of plays?
307
00:23:01,965 --> 00:23:03,694
Creative plays.
308
00:23:04,001 --> 00:23:05,764
Anything goes?
309
00:23:08,005 --> 00:23:09,734
Use your imagination.
310
00:23:13,577 --> 00:23:14,566
I'm in.
311
00:23:19,750 --> 00:23:21,945
- You ever played football?
- No.
312
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:24,485
- Do you like football?
- No.
313
00:23:24,655 --> 00:23:26,520
- You want to play football?
- No.
314
00:23:26,690 --> 00:23:28,351
Great. You can be on our team.
315
00:23:35,532 --> 00:23:37,966
Yes, that's right, flight 45.
316
00:23:38,135 --> 00:23:41,104
- Dad.
- I'll see you Tuesday, son.
317
00:23:41,271 --> 00:23:43,933
Yeah, the flight
gets in at 9:00. Don't worry.
318
00:23:57,321 --> 00:23:59,016
What about him?
319
00:23:59,189 --> 00:24:00,713
Hey.
320
00:24:06,930 --> 00:24:09,899
Merry Christmas, everybody.
321
00:24:11,234 --> 00:24:13,202
Look at this.
322
00:24:13,403 --> 00:24:15,997
There's more stuff over here.
Give me a hand.
323
00:24:18,608 --> 00:24:21,441
Careful with this.
Some of these are antiques.
324
00:24:25,315 --> 00:24:28,478
Timmy, I'm not sure,
but I don't think that goes there.
325
00:24:28,652 --> 00:24:31,849
Guys, a lot of this
equipment has been used before.
326
00:24:36,927 --> 00:24:39,088
It's a mom!
327
00:24:43,967 --> 00:24:47,596
Excuse me, coach? Hi, Mr. O'Shea.
I'm Cheryl Berman.
328
00:24:47,771 --> 00:24:51,070
I'm sorry Jake's late,
but I took him to see Dr. Harding.
329
00:24:51,241 --> 00:24:54,335
He sneezed three times this morning
and had me worried.
330
00:24:54,511 --> 00:24:56,001
You can't be too cautious.
331
00:24:56,179 --> 00:25:00,878
We never thought we'd have children,
not after 13 years. It was me.
332
00:25:01,051 --> 00:25:03,849
When I got pregnant
the doctor ordered me to bed.
333
00:25:04,020 --> 00:25:06,784
I spent nine miserable months
on my back.
334
00:25:06,957 --> 00:25:11,121
If I'd rolled over, I could've lost him.
And the birth, God only knows the pain.
335
00:25:11,294 --> 00:25:15,822
He weighed only 1 pound, 11 ounces.
He spent six weeks in an incubator.
336
00:25:15,999 --> 00:25:19,230
And I think football
is just the medicine for him.
337
00:25:22,105 --> 00:25:24,801
My shrink told her
I gotta get out more.
338
00:25:26,410 --> 00:25:29,345
- I think he's gonna be fine.
- Oh, okay.
339
00:25:41,191 --> 00:25:42,317
Cool.
340
00:25:44,027 --> 00:25:45,585
Thanks. I needed that.
341
00:25:48,198 --> 00:25:49,756
Let's kick some butt.
342
00:25:49,933 --> 00:25:53,630
- I don't know but I've been told
- Butz's butt is green with mold
343
00:25:53,804 --> 00:25:57,865
- You say thank you, I say please
- Kevin sits down when he pees
344
00:26:06,082 --> 00:26:08,573
Looking good. Real good.
345
00:26:09,886 --> 00:26:12,855
All right. Let's stretch it out. Come on.
346
00:27:01,204 --> 00:27:03,434
He throws. It's up.
347
00:27:06,109 --> 00:27:10,273
Yeah! Touchdown!
348
00:27:22,592 --> 00:27:25,755
- What a throw.
- What a find.
349
00:27:25,929 --> 00:27:29,421
What a hunk. Wait a minute.
350
00:27:29,966 --> 00:27:31,831
What am I saying?
351
00:27:32,002 --> 00:27:33,936
I'm the Icebox.
352
00:27:34,104 --> 00:27:37,039
The Icebox doesn't like boys...
353
00:27:37,707 --> 00:27:39,538
...except for that one.
354
00:27:43,847 --> 00:27:46,975
Hey, buddy, catch this.
355
00:27:47,784 --> 00:27:49,684
- He caught it.
- Good catch.
356
00:27:50,086 --> 00:27:52,577
Nice arm.
357
00:27:53,356 --> 00:27:55,187
- Junior Floyd.
- I'm Hanon.
358
00:27:55,358 --> 00:27:56,620
- Zolteck.
- What's up?
359
00:27:56,793 --> 00:27:58,385
- I'm Tad.
- Cool.
360
00:27:59,796 --> 00:28:04,130
- You wanna play some football?
- Yeah, let's see that arm again.
361
00:28:10,173 --> 00:28:11,470
Where is he?
362
00:28:11,641 --> 00:28:13,472
Hey, you.
363
00:28:22,752 --> 00:28:24,185
Hi.
364
00:28:26,923 --> 00:28:30,950
Dad, don't tell jokes. You can't tell jokes.
You never could tell jokes.
365
00:28:31,127 --> 00:28:33,823
I'm gonna ask his mother
if he can play football.
366
00:28:33,997 --> 00:28:36,989
I can't go in there.
I'd look like a geek.
367
00:28:37,167 --> 00:28:40,694
This doesn't sound like you.
You got a crush on this guy?
368
00:28:40,870 --> 00:28:45,068
I'm the Icebox.
I don't get crushes.
369
00:28:51,014 --> 00:28:52,675
Oh, my God. There he is.
370
00:28:52,849 --> 00:28:55,613
- He is so cute.
- Relax.
371
00:28:58,989 --> 00:29:01,753
- You didn't tell me his mother's Patty Floyd.
- So?
372
00:29:01,925 --> 00:29:04,325
I knew her when I was a kid.
I had a thing...
373
00:29:04,494 --> 00:29:07,019
- Would you get a grip?
- Me? You get a grip.
374
00:29:07,597 --> 00:29:10,361
- One of us has gotta knock on that door.
- You.
375
00:29:10,533 --> 00:29:13,058
- We need a quarterback. Do it.
- No, you do it.
376
00:29:17,073 --> 00:29:20,270
Hey. You traitor!
377
00:29:28,885 --> 00:29:31,080
Hi. Can I?
378
00:29:34,190 --> 00:29:36,317
- Danny?
- Hi.
379
00:29:37,427 --> 00:29:41,227
- Danny O'Shea, how are you?
- Fine. Really good.
380
00:29:41,398 --> 00:29:44,367
- Well, come on in.
- Sure.
381
00:29:52,008 --> 00:29:53,635
Ready.
382
00:29:54,010 --> 00:29:55,341
Go.
383
00:30:00,917 --> 00:30:04,580
- Man, what an arm.
- Ready. Go.
384
00:30:31,481 --> 00:30:35,178
Hanon, nice try. All right, guys.
Let's give it another shot.
385
00:30:35,351 --> 00:30:37,512
Use your hands.
386
00:30:38,021 --> 00:30:41,957
Ready. Go!
387
00:30:44,294 --> 00:30:47,695
Oh, good catch, guys. Good catch!
388
00:30:49,032 --> 00:30:52,195
My mom says the pads you gave me
weren't enough.
389
00:30:58,942 --> 00:31:00,432
Push him.
390
00:31:04,414 --> 00:31:06,473
Hey, this is great. Keep it up.
391
00:31:06,649 --> 00:31:07,673
I don't feel a...
392
00:31:10,887 --> 00:31:14,050
- Jake?
- Jake?
393
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:27,527
- He will never do it.
- They've done it already.
394
00:31:27,704 --> 00:31:29,501
- Make your bet.
- Make your bet.
395
00:31:29,672 --> 00:31:32,903
If these boys don't win,
I sweep the shop for three weeks.
396
00:31:33,076 --> 00:31:36,341
It's gonna be a landslide,
and I'll say it again.
397
00:31:36,513 --> 00:31:39,914
- lf they don't win, I'll sweep it for a month.
- Good.
398
00:31:40,083 --> 00:31:42,779
- You got witnesses. Understand?
- Remember this.
399
00:31:42,952 --> 00:31:44,749
Stand like this. Come on in.
400
00:31:44,921 --> 00:31:48,618
It's a huddle. Huddle, Latin for round.
Turn around. There you go.
401
00:31:48,792 --> 00:31:52,853
Communication is the key.
I signal the quarterback with the play.
402
00:31:53,029 --> 00:31:57,728
He relates it to you in the huddle. Then,
we try it on the field. Okay, let's do it.
403
00:31:58,101 --> 00:32:01,195
Okay, guys. It's a curl
out to the fullback on two.
404
00:32:01,371 --> 00:32:04,602
Hey, wait a second.
How come we never call a play for me?
405
00:32:04,774 --> 00:32:06,605
- You're a tackle, dip-head.
- Hey!
406
00:32:06,776 --> 00:32:09,210
Nobody calls me a dip-head
except my sister.
407
00:32:09,379 --> 00:32:11,370
Hey, guys. Guys. Guys, wait!
408
00:32:11,548 --> 00:32:13,573
Guys, I'll run the ball.
409
00:32:13,750 --> 00:32:16,548
You always run the ball.
Why can't I run the ball?
410
00:32:16,719 --> 00:32:19,119
Because you're slow
and no one likes you.
411
00:32:19,289 --> 00:32:21,257
- Says who?
- Everybody says.
412
00:32:21,724 --> 00:32:23,123
- I call the play.
- You suck!
413
00:32:23,293 --> 00:32:25,056
I want to run the ball.
414
00:32:25,228 --> 00:32:27,753
- You can't go to my birthday party.
- So what?
415
00:32:30,567 --> 00:32:34,230
Okay, guys. That was good
for a first time. Let's try it again.
416
00:32:34,404 --> 00:32:36,804
Ready. Go!
417
00:32:41,477 --> 00:32:43,308
Nice pass. Nice catch.
418
00:32:46,649 --> 00:32:47,946
Junior.
419
00:32:54,824 --> 00:32:57,816
Ready. Go!
420
00:33:02,999 --> 00:33:05,593
- Yeah!
- Yes!
421
00:33:05,768 --> 00:33:07,360
All right!
422
00:33:10,540 --> 00:33:15,341
Very nice. Okay, from now on, we'll play
with this. Put this in the bathroom.
423
00:33:28,124 --> 00:33:31,787
- Good job, Icebox.
- Thanks.
424
00:33:31,961 --> 00:33:33,053
Anytime.
425
00:33:37,300 --> 00:33:41,327
- I'll get the quarterback.
- Hut one. Hut two.
426
00:33:42,972 --> 00:33:44,963
Got you!
427
00:33:47,310 --> 00:33:49,972
Okay, Icebox. You can get off me.
428
00:33:50,146 --> 00:33:52,740
Oh, sorry.
429
00:33:57,253 --> 00:34:02,247
Gentlemen, that is your opponent.
You must defeat her at all costs.
430
00:34:02,425 --> 00:34:04,655
Patterson, Becky is all they've got.
431
00:34:04,827 --> 00:34:07,591
She's strong.
I want you to hit her low and hard.
432
00:34:07,764 --> 00:34:09,061
Get in your position.
433
00:34:09,232 --> 00:34:12,258
Head up, butt down. Stick and drive.
434
00:34:12,568 --> 00:34:14,001
Set. Go!
435
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:21,739
Oh, son. Son, it's a couch cushion.
It's a couch cushion, son!
436
00:34:21,911 --> 00:34:24,709
I want you to wrap your arms
and drive through it.
437
00:34:24,881 --> 00:34:28,578
- Stand back. Let the master do this.
- Let's go, coach!
438
00:34:28,751 --> 00:34:32,187
- Priscilla, I want you to shoot this.
- Go for it, Daddy.
439
00:34:33,022 --> 00:34:37,459
Briggs, count it off.
440
00:34:41,097 --> 00:34:42,860
Ready.
441
00:34:43,099 --> 00:34:44,964
Set. Go!
442
00:34:46,536 --> 00:34:47,935
Kevin!
443
00:34:54,544 --> 00:34:57,445
Oh, doctor!
444
00:34:59,749 --> 00:35:01,614
Coach!
445
00:35:01,784 --> 00:35:03,115
Daddy!
446
00:35:08,691 --> 00:35:12,718
If there's gonna be pee wee football
in Urbania, everybody's gonna play.
447
00:35:12,895 --> 00:35:18,060
Big round of applause for the Little Giants.
448
00:35:21,404 --> 00:35:23,736
She's buff. She's bad.
449
00:35:23,906 --> 00:35:28,240
She's Becky "The Icebox" O'Shea.
450
00:35:29,479 --> 00:35:34,815
All right. Let's give it up
for "Rad" Tad Simpson.
451
00:35:39,989 --> 00:35:44,688
Rudy Zolteck,
your neighborhood-friendly gasman.
452
00:35:47,130 --> 00:35:49,257
Gasman? I don't get it.
453
00:35:49,432 --> 00:35:50,763
Think about it.
454
00:35:50,933 --> 00:35:54,767
Here's Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon!
455
00:35:59,842 --> 00:36:04,609
Say hello to
Timmy "I Wanna Score" Moore.
456
00:36:10,219 --> 00:36:12,016
- Thanks for coming.
- That was great.
457
00:36:12,188 --> 00:36:14,622
- I want a copy of that.
- You got it.
458
00:36:14,791 --> 00:36:17,954
Johnny, I thought I was gonna
meet your dad tonight.
459
00:36:18,127 --> 00:36:22,120
He's got business and stuff.
See you, coach.
460
00:36:22,298 --> 00:36:24,357
- I'll see you.
- Bye.
461
00:36:24,534 --> 00:36:27,196
Well, the dip sucked.
462
00:36:27,370 --> 00:36:30,134
But bottom line, you're okay,
Coach O'Shea.
463
00:36:30,306 --> 00:36:32,137
Thanks, Junior.
464
00:36:32,308 --> 00:36:35,539
Do you have time to get me
your brother's autograph?
465
00:36:35,711 --> 00:36:38,805
Oh, let's go.
466
00:36:39,649 --> 00:36:41,947
- This was such a blast.
- It was nothing.
467
00:36:42,118 --> 00:36:44,985
No, you're doing an amazing job
with those kids.
468
00:36:45,154 --> 00:36:49,215
All that time I knew you, I had no idea
that you would be like this.
469
00:36:49,392 --> 00:36:51,690
- Well, I was 11.
- Yeah.
470
00:36:51,861 --> 00:36:54,159
I guess I've changed.
471
00:36:54,330 --> 00:36:56,491
Yeah, I guess you're right.
472
00:36:56,666 --> 00:36:57,690
Have I changed?
473
00:36:58,167 --> 00:37:01,830
Well, you're taller,
and you have your driver's license.
474
00:37:02,004 --> 00:37:07,567
And to be honest with you,
your face is exactly as I remember it.
475
00:37:08,344 --> 00:37:10,744
Come on, Mom.
476
00:37:12,748 --> 00:37:14,511
Good night, Danny.
477
00:37:14,684 --> 00:37:16,584
See you, coach.
478
00:37:16,752 --> 00:37:19,585
Good night, you guys. Sleep tightly.
479
00:37:19,755 --> 00:37:21,416
Tightly?
480
00:37:21,591 --> 00:37:23,525
Dumb.
481
00:37:23,926 --> 00:37:26,724
Okay, let's clean it up.
482
00:37:29,432 --> 00:37:31,866
There he goes.
483
00:37:32,702 --> 00:37:34,761
I love this. Wait, wait, wait.
484
00:37:36,706 --> 00:37:40,938
Hey, Karen, how many times you gonna
watch this? It's making me nauseous.
485
00:37:41,110 --> 00:37:42,099
You kill me.
486
00:37:42,278 --> 00:37:46,112
No, Mom. Mom, let's calm down.
Let's calm down.
487
00:37:46,282 --> 00:37:50,446
You know, I was only trying to make
a point that Becky's all they got...
488
00:37:50,620 --> 00:37:53,384
...and to win, we've gotta neutralize her.
489
00:37:53,556 --> 00:37:56,081
Wait, wait, wait. What about Junior?
490
00:37:58,261 --> 00:37:59,250
Who?
491
00:38:02,131 --> 00:38:07,125
Hut one! Hut two! Hut three!
492
00:38:10,473 --> 00:38:12,941
Look at the cannon on that kid.
493
00:38:15,144 --> 00:38:16,941
He's playing for the wrong team.
494
00:38:17,113 --> 00:38:20,310
Hut one! Hut two! Hut three!
495
00:38:24,587 --> 00:38:27,613
- Yeah!
- That's the way. All right. Come on back.
496
00:38:32,428 --> 00:38:35,261
That's good, Johnny. Keep your head up.
497
00:38:35,431 --> 00:38:37,592
Spies.
498
00:38:37,767 --> 00:38:41,134
- Where?
- In the weeds.
499
00:38:41,837 --> 00:38:44,169
Somebody's a little scared, huh?
500
00:38:45,441 --> 00:38:49,775
Okay. Take a little break. Then, we'll
start running the super-secret play.
501
00:38:49,946 --> 00:38:52,039
I'm just gonna get the diagram.
502
00:38:52,782 --> 00:38:54,943
Coach, they're gonna do
the super-secret play.
503
00:38:57,111 --> 00:39:00,672
State police? Oh, thank God.
This is Thelma May Rogers.
504
00:39:00,848 --> 00:39:02,611
I'm 86. I live in Urbania.
505
00:39:02,783 --> 00:39:06,082
There are two men down the bridge
from the Shell station...
506
00:39:06,253 --> 00:39:09,188
...in the bushes spying on some kids.
507
00:39:09,356 --> 00:39:10,789
We're all so upset.
508
00:39:10,958 --> 00:39:15,292
I don't think men their age should be
parading around in their underwear.
509
00:39:15,462 --> 00:39:17,953
Please, hurry.
510
00:39:18,132 --> 00:39:19,394
- Nice going.
- Yeah.
511
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:23,795
This is incredible.
They got the guards in the backfield.
512
00:39:23,971 --> 00:39:28,374
They... They got the center
to the right, and...
513
00:39:28,542 --> 00:39:30,976
And the quarterback isn't even there.
514
00:39:31,145 --> 00:39:34,205
They're standing around, Butz.
515
00:39:37,985 --> 00:39:39,247
Oh, yeah.
516
00:39:40,554 --> 00:39:42,146
Freeze!
517
00:39:43,624 --> 00:39:46,821
- I'm on a roll, huh?
- Your sandwich, dangerous one.
518
00:39:46,994 --> 00:39:50,157
Last night, I go out the window.
Today, I'm arrested...
519
00:39:50,330 --> 00:39:53,163
...handcuffed, humiliated. My own brother!
520
00:39:53,333 --> 00:39:55,995
lmagine how I feel married
to a peeping Tom.
521
00:39:56,170 --> 00:39:57,762
That was a brilliant move...
522
00:39:57,938 --> 00:40:00,839
...calling the state cops
instead of the local cops.
523
00:40:01,008 --> 00:40:04,341
I didn't think Danny had it in him.
I will get him back.
524
00:40:04,511 --> 00:40:07,742
This could've been avoided
if you'd just formed one team.
525
00:40:07,915 --> 00:40:11,681
Don't you understand that the people
of this town expect me to win?
526
00:40:11,852 --> 00:40:16,585
- Nobody buys a Chevy from a loser!
- Honey, this is peewee football. Remember?
527
00:40:16,757 --> 00:40:19,248
- It's supposed to be fun.
- It's not fun anymore.
528
00:40:19,426 --> 00:40:23,886
See, all the fun is gone now.
See, now it's war.
529
00:40:24,765 --> 00:40:27,131
Come on. Let's go. Keep moving.
530
00:40:29,670 --> 00:40:31,729
Come on. Make that cut.
531
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:36,305
Come on. Come on. Protect the ball.
Good. Good.
532
00:40:37,711 --> 00:40:40,646
Lift them. Lift those legs. Thattaboy.
533
00:40:41,215 --> 00:40:42,648
Drive, drive, drive!
534
00:40:42,816 --> 00:40:44,784
Come on. Unload on this thing!
535
00:40:47,487 --> 00:40:49,819
Very nice. Looking good. Looking good.
536
00:40:49,990 --> 00:40:53,619
Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit.
537
00:40:53,794 --> 00:40:56,228
That's right, guys. Make them pop.
538
00:40:58,899 --> 00:41:00,560
Yes!
539
00:41:54,354 --> 00:41:57,152
You'll have to put the top up
if you want us to wash it.
540
00:41:57,324 --> 00:41:58,951
I didn't come for a car wash.
541
00:41:59,126 --> 00:42:03,688
You're wasting our time with this team.
We should concentrate on Sutterville.
542
00:42:03,864 --> 00:42:07,732
Jeez, Dan, you don't even belong
on the same field as your brother.
543
00:42:07,901 --> 00:42:10,233
One dollar for the wash, Butz.
544
00:42:10,871 --> 00:42:14,034
You'll just embarrass yourself
with them dirt-balls.
545
00:42:14,308 --> 00:42:18,142
Hell, if I was a mama hen
and they was my chicks...
546
00:42:18,312 --> 00:42:21,713
...l'd lead them to water
and let them drown.
547
00:42:21,882 --> 00:42:25,045
Harold, you're the tenth car
that's come in here today.
548
00:42:25,218 --> 00:42:27,152
You're entitled to a free wash.
549
00:42:27,321 --> 00:42:29,380
Okay, guys. Wash it.
550
00:42:54,014 --> 00:42:57,006
Hey, Junior.
551
00:43:03,924 --> 00:43:05,858
Truce.
552
00:43:07,928 --> 00:43:09,919
No!
553
00:43:12,199 --> 00:43:15,362
Hey, Dan, we're next.
554
00:43:15,535 --> 00:43:17,025
- Hey, Uncle Dan.
- Hi, Deb.
555
00:43:17,204 --> 00:43:18,432
- Hi, Junior.
- Hey.
556
00:43:18,605 --> 00:43:22,302
Hey, Becky, check it out. My mom
got us new uniforms for the game.
557
00:43:22,776 --> 00:43:25,108
- Cool.
- I am so jealous of you...
558
00:43:25,278 --> 00:43:29,942
...being in the huddle with Junior Floyd!
Even 12-year-old girls think he's a fox.
559
00:43:30,117 --> 00:43:33,712
- Yeah, well, I really don't notice.
- Well, see you.
560
00:43:33,887 --> 00:43:35,377
Yeah.
561
00:43:35,555 --> 00:43:36,715
Hey. Hi, Junior.
562
00:43:36,890 --> 00:43:37,879
What's up?
563
00:43:38,058 --> 00:43:41,459
I wanted to let you know
I'm gonna be at the game Saturday.
564
00:43:41,628 --> 00:43:44,654
Hey, Icebox, maybe you
should become a cheerleader.
565
00:43:46,967 --> 00:43:48,298
Bubbles and stuff.
566
00:43:52,406 --> 00:43:54,806
Junior!
567
00:43:54,975 --> 00:43:57,500
Hey, don't!
568
00:43:59,312 --> 00:44:00,506
There you go.
569
00:44:20,333 --> 00:44:23,530
Give me a J
Give me a U
570
00:44:23,703 --> 00:44:26,297
- Give me an N
- Becky!
571
00:44:30,844 --> 00:44:33,506
Hey, I got an idea
for a whole new defense.
572
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:37,946
I read about a monster-back thing where
you run around causing destruction.
573
00:44:38,618 --> 00:44:40,950
Are you wearing lipstick?
574
00:44:41,288 --> 00:44:44,348
No. It's a cherry Tootsie Pop.
575
00:44:55,969 --> 00:44:57,402
O'Shea Chevrolet.
576
00:44:57,637 --> 00:45:00,071
I got a hot tip for you, Mr. Heisman.
577
00:45:01,208 --> 00:45:03,233
Butz!
578
00:45:03,477 --> 00:45:07,208
- Go ahead, Orville. I'm listening.
- There's a new family in town.
579
00:45:07,380 --> 00:45:10,178
They got a tough 10-year-old.
He's a monster.
580
00:45:10,350 --> 00:45:12,215
Now I'm talking real big.
581
00:45:12,385 --> 00:45:13,545
Oh, yeah? How big?
582
00:45:13,720 --> 00:45:14,982
Put it this way.
583
00:45:15,155 --> 00:45:18,090
If he was a trout,
you wouldn't throw him back.
584
00:45:18,258 --> 00:45:22,160
- Thanks a lot, buddy. I owe you one.
- Thanks.
585
00:45:31,738 --> 00:45:35,003
- Hi, big Jim.
- Hey there, Kevin.
586
00:45:39,079 --> 00:45:41,343
Hey, Kev. Where you going?
587
00:45:41,515 --> 00:45:44,177
Just out for a little spin, Danny.
588
00:45:44,351 --> 00:45:45,750
What's with the go-cart?
589
00:45:46,186 --> 00:45:49,212
Becky asked me to check the compression.
590
00:46:00,534 --> 00:46:02,525
- You following me?
- No.
591
00:46:04,104 --> 00:46:05,366
You following me?
592
00:46:05,539 --> 00:46:07,439
No.
593
00:46:08,542 --> 00:46:10,908
- Are you lying to me?
- No.
594
00:46:12,779 --> 00:46:14,644
He's mine, Danny! Damn it!
595
00:46:14,814 --> 00:46:17,374
Here they come! Danny's in the go-cart.
596
00:46:27,894 --> 00:46:29,725
This whole town may love you...
597
00:46:29,896 --> 00:46:32,729
...but I'm the only one
who knows how sick you are.
598
00:46:32,899 --> 00:46:35,766
- I treated you like a prince.
- You ignored me!
599
00:46:35,936 --> 00:46:39,838
- I took you to see the Cleveland Indians.
- You left me at the stadium.
600
00:47:03,463 --> 00:47:05,192
Damn it!
601
00:47:25,952 --> 00:47:27,351
Excuse me.
602
00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:29,454
Are you...?
603
00:47:29,623 --> 00:47:32,319
Hey, don't tell me. You're Coach O'Shea.
604
00:47:33,860 --> 00:47:35,487
Yeah, I'm Coach O'Shea.
605
00:47:36,529 --> 00:47:41,023
You're Coach O'Shea! Who am I?
Look at this.
606
00:47:42,802 --> 00:47:44,133
Who am I?
607
00:47:44,638 --> 00:47:47,368
Oh, you're remembering
my old playing days.
608
00:47:47,540 --> 00:47:49,474
Remembering them? I treasure them.
609
00:47:49,643 --> 00:47:54,012
You're the reason we moved to this town,
you and that football league.
610
00:47:54,748 --> 00:47:59,481
You... You look kind of small
for a football star.
611
00:48:03,857 --> 00:48:06,382
That's what they all thought.
612
00:48:08,561 --> 00:48:10,222
Yeah.
613
00:48:10,397 --> 00:48:13,025
- So where is your?
- His name's Spike.
614
00:48:13,199 --> 00:48:14,723
He's right here.
615
00:48:14,901 --> 00:48:16,334
Hang on a second. Spike!
616
00:48:16,736 --> 00:48:19,000
Come on down here.
617
00:48:20,006 --> 00:48:22,236
I want you to meet Coach O'Shea.
618
00:48:29,082 --> 00:48:32,279
Look at the boy.
He was bred for football glory.
619
00:48:32,452 --> 00:48:34,852
The first skin he touched was a pigskin.
620
00:48:35,021 --> 00:48:39,014
Pushing a football across the floor
with his head at four months old.
621
00:48:39,192 --> 00:48:43,128
Did his first pull-up when he was
18 months. Give me 10!
622
00:48:44,364 --> 00:48:47,856
Runs a 40 in 6.5 flat.
Bench-presses twice his own weight.
623
00:48:48,268 --> 00:48:53,137
Won the 8-year-old division of the pass,
punt, run when he was 5 years old.
624
00:48:53,606 --> 00:48:58,942
O'Shea, I've been cultivating him,
grooming him.
625
00:48:59,112 --> 00:49:01,376
Every night, before he goes to bed...
626
00:49:01,548 --> 00:49:06,611
...I massage his hamstrings
with evaporated milk. Yeah.
627
00:49:08,722 --> 00:49:10,451
He's quite a boy.
628
00:49:11,024 --> 00:49:12,150
Play to die!
629
00:49:12,459 --> 00:49:14,791
Knees high! Knees high!
630
00:49:15,061 --> 00:49:18,462
Guys, I got great news.
631
00:49:18,898 --> 00:49:20,388
We got a new player.
632
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:21,892
Mama!
633
00:49:22,068 --> 00:49:24,798
- Who's that?
- Looks like a side of beef.
634
00:49:24,971 --> 00:49:27,735
Or a genetics experiment
gone terribly wrong.
635
00:49:27,907 --> 00:49:30,137
- Where's his socks?
- Where's his neck?
636
00:49:30,310 --> 00:49:31,902
He's bigger than my dad.
637
00:49:32,078 --> 00:49:38,017
Spike's in hell.
Spike's in peewee hell.
638
00:49:38,184 --> 00:49:40,118
Guys, Spike's our new tailback.
639
00:49:40,286 --> 00:49:42,914
Now we can run the annexation
of Puerto Rico.
640
00:49:43,089 --> 00:49:46,320
- What's that?
- I don't know if we're ready for that.
641
00:49:46,493 --> 00:49:52,022
- What formation do you like to run out of?
- Power-I. Now, who's Spike's lead blocker?
642
00:49:52,499 --> 00:49:53,591
The Icebox.
643
00:49:53,767 --> 00:49:56,930
- Where's he at?
- Right here.
644
00:49:57,337 --> 00:50:01,000
Is Spike mistaken? Aren't you a girl?
645
00:50:01,174 --> 00:50:02,436
Gee, good eye.
646
00:50:02,609 --> 00:50:05,942
- Spike don't play with girls.
- She's pretty good, Spike.
647
00:50:06,112 --> 00:50:08,672
Spike don't care. Didn't you hear?
648
00:50:09,015 --> 00:50:10,346
Spike don't play with...
649
00:50:10,950 --> 00:50:14,113
I can tackle anything, anytime, anywhere.
Got that?
650
00:50:14,287 --> 00:50:17,620
Look, you berserk-o Barbie doll,
when you mess with Spike...
651
00:50:17,791 --> 00:50:21,158
...you mess with death.
- Can you walk the walk?
652
00:50:21,327 --> 00:50:22,351
- Try me!
- I will!
653
00:50:22,529 --> 00:50:24,156
- Let's go!
- Right now!
654
00:50:24,330 --> 00:50:26,161
Somebody call 911!
655
00:50:26,466 --> 00:50:29,230
All right. Okay. Okay. Hold it.
656
00:50:30,970 --> 00:50:33,370
Becky, wanna get that car for me, please?
657
00:50:33,540 --> 00:50:36,566
Why me? So you can play with this ape?
658
00:50:37,811 --> 00:50:40,644
Can I have a little word with you, please?
659
00:50:45,318 --> 00:50:47,809
Your leg's bigger than my body.
660
00:50:47,987 --> 00:50:51,047
With this guy, we got an actual shot
at winning this.
661
00:50:51,224 --> 00:50:55,160
Give me a minute to get him used
to the idea of playing with a girl.
662
00:50:55,328 --> 00:50:58,320
You don't think I can take him, do you?
663
00:50:59,732 --> 00:51:02,826
This is a bunch of crap.
664
00:51:21,521 --> 00:51:24,012
- Shirley.
- Hi, Kevin.
665
00:51:30,430 --> 00:51:32,921
Icebox not hungry?
666
00:51:33,099 --> 00:51:35,590
Alert the media.
667
00:51:35,935 --> 00:51:40,201
- How you doing, hotshot?
- Hey, Louise. Thank you, dear.
668
00:51:43,042 --> 00:51:45,203
Good shot.
669
00:51:45,378 --> 00:51:48,609
- You still mad at me for not picking you?
- No.
670
00:51:48,781 --> 00:51:52,046
- I guess you got your own team now.
- It's not my team.
671
00:51:52,218 --> 00:51:55,051
It's Spike's team.
672
00:51:56,556 --> 00:51:59,116
Dad's got a big crush on him.
673
00:51:59,292 --> 00:52:01,522
Don't be so hard on the old man.
674
00:52:01,694 --> 00:52:05,221
It can't be easy on him
having me as a brother...
675
00:52:05,398 --> 00:52:07,992
...or you as a daughter.
676
00:52:08,167 --> 00:52:09,896
Very funny.
677
00:52:10,069 --> 00:52:12,970
People like you and me, we're stubborn.
678
00:52:13,139 --> 00:52:16,404
If we don't get our own way, watch out.
679
00:52:16,576 --> 00:52:20,103
When you played football
you wanted to kill your coach too?
680
00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:22,942
Hey, you can't fault the guy
for trying to win.
681
00:52:23,416 --> 00:52:25,816
He doesn't wanna win.
682
00:52:25,985 --> 00:52:28,419
He wants to prove he's not scared of you.
683
00:52:28,821 --> 00:52:29,913
What do you want?
684
00:52:30,323 --> 00:52:34,089
I thought I wanted to play,
but now there's all this other stuff.
685
00:52:34,260 --> 00:52:36,490
What other stuff?
686
00:52:36,663 --> 00:52:39,427
Not football stuff.
687
00:52:41,768 --> 00:52:45,260
Debbie likes Junior, doesn't she?
688
00:52:45,939 --> 00:52:48,203
Does Veronica like Archie?
689
00:52:51,010 --> 00:52:54,138
She's gonna get him. I know it.
690
00:52:54,781 --> 00:52:58,683
You know, she'd probably kill me
if she knew I told you this...
691
00:52:58,851 --> 00:53:04,118
...but you wanna find a boy,
you gotta figure out how boys think.
692
00:53:04,290 --> 00:53:08,954
And if this boy's a quarterback,
he's probably gonna want some cute girl...
693
00:53:09,128 --> 00:53:10,686
...not some teammate.
694
00:53:12,465 --> 00:53:14,956
But I don't know about being a cute girl.
695
00:53:15,134 --> 00:53:16,533
I'm good at sports.
696
00:53:16,703 --> 00:53:19,968
Of course you are. You're an O'Shea.
697
00:53:21,040 --> 00:53:25,136
But listen to me.
You got a lot more to offer than football.
698
00:53:26,145 --> 00:53:28,079
- A lot more.
- You think so?
699
00:53:28,247 --> 00:53:30,477
I know so.
700
00:53:31,317 --> 00:53:33,842
Hey, Uncle Kevin.
701
00:53:36,322 --> 00:53:38,654
Do you think I'm pretty?
702
00:53:38,825 --> 00:53:40,019
No.
703
00:53:42,662 --> 00:53:45,153
I think you're beautiful.
704
00:53:56,843 --> 00:53:59,835
Okay, guys. Let's make
this power-I formation work.
705
00:54:00,013 --> 00:54:02,846
- Ready!
- Break!
706
00:54:05,918 --> 00:54:08,512
Ready. Set.
707
00:54:08,688 --> 00:54:12,089
Hut one. Hut two!
708
00:54:15,862 --> 00:54:18,592
You call this a team?
709
00:54:19,932 --> 00:54:22,696
Hey, pretty boy,
when you hand off to Spike...
710
00:54:22,869 --> 00:54:25,099
...put it here. Boom!
711
00:54:25,271 --> 00:54:26,863
And you, fat lineman!
712
00:54:27,206 --> 00:54:28,867
You rang?
713
00:54:29,042 --> 00:54:31,533
Get your jellyrolls out of Spike's way...
714
00:54:31,711 --> 00:54:34,407
...unless you want cleat marks
up your fat back.
715
00:54:37,116 --> 00:54:39,107
Spike!
716
00:54:39,786 --> 00:54:42,277
Come get in the car, son.
717
00:54:42,722 --> 00:54:43,984
What's going on?
718
00:54:44,157 --> 00:54:47,615
Oh, no.
719
00:54:48,461 --> 00:54:49,792
You're a Cowboy now.
720
00:54:49,962 --> 00:54:52,328
Thank you, football god.
721
00:54:52,498 --> 00:54:53,624
Where's he going?
722
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:55,791
So you're a Heisman Trophy winner?
723
00:54:55,968 --> 00:54:58,766
I said I was Coach O'Shea, not Kevin.
724
00:54:58,938 --> 00:55:01,270
You must think you're pretty slick, huh?
725
00:55:01,441 --> 00:55:03,466
I can't wait till tomorrow.
726
00:55:03,643 --> 00:55:06,237
One more day, baby!
727
00:55:06,813 --> 00:55:08,940
One more day.
728
00:55:17,790 --> 00:55:21,248
- Great. Now the other guys have Spike.
- We got nothing.
729
00:55:21,427 --> 00:55:23,156
- We got us.
- Yeah, we stink!
730
00:55:23,329 --> 00:55:26,492
- Because you can't catch.
- At least he can walk.
731
00:55:26,666 --> 00:55:32,002
- Hey, Zolteck, have another Pop-Tart.
- Or can't you open your mouth wide enough?
732
00:55:32,171 --> 00:55:35,607
- Come on, that's enough.
- Yeah, coach is right. Break it up.
733
00:55:35,775 --> 00:55:38,471
Shut up, Junior. You're so good
it makes us sick.
734
00:55:39,011 --> 00:55:44,847
Hey, you don't want me to play?
No problemo. I'm out of here.
735
00:55:45,017 --> 00:55:47,850
If it wasn't for him,
we wouldn't even have a team.
736
00:55:48,020 --> 00:55:52,548
If it wasn't for him, maybe you'd stop
drooling and play a little more football.
737
00:55:52,725 --> 00:55:53,953
Yeah, he's right!
738
00:55:55,094 --> 00:55:57,085
Why can't we all play together?
739
00:55:57,263 --> 00:56:01,131
Oh, shut up, dipstick! You're probably
the main reason Spike quit.
740
00:56:01,300 --> 00:56:03,200
Yeah, quit bawling, you big baby.
741
00:56:03,369 --> 00:56:07,635
I can cry if I want. It's a free country.
I can even do this.
742
00:56:09,375 --> 00:56:11,343
Nice kick!
743
00:56:13,980 --> 00:56:15,971
Hey, guys, practice isn't over yet.
744
00:56:16,149 --> 00:56:18,982
Who cares?
745
00:56:32,765 --> 00:56:38,499
What's the use? I am a dipstick.
I'll never get to play.
746
00:56:40,339 --> 00:56:41,863
Hey, kid, you got a second?
747
00:56:42,041 --> 00:56:45,841
We have to get to a banquet in Canton,
where the Hall of Fame is.
748
00:56:46,012 --> 00:56:50,346
And we took a wrong turn somewhere.
Look, we started out here on l-7 east.
749
00:56:50,516 --> 00:56:52,882
We're coming across here.
We went up 104.
750
00:56:53,052 --> 00:56:57,352
We took the 49. Then we were gonna take
shortcuts. We go 10, 12, 48. Hut.
751
00:56:57,523 --> 00:57:00,515
And we have to hit Canton,
and we have to hit it hard.
752
00:57:00,693 --> 00:57:02,593
And I don't know where we are!
753
00:57:05,531 --> 00:57:07,522
Guys?
754
00:57:08,367 --> 00:57:09,561
Now what?
755
00:57:09,936 --> 00:57:12,871
Let's play some ball.
756
00:57:16,275 --> 00:57:18,300
- Steve Emtman.
- Emmitt Smith.
757
00:57:18,477 --> 00:57:19,967
Tim Brown.
758
00:57:20,146 --> 00:57:22,740
- Bruce Smith.
- Emmitt Smith.
759
00:57:28,254 --> 00:57:30,119
Take a shot. Just block me.
760
00:57:32,124 --> 00:57:33,751
Come on. You can do it.
761
00:57:35,228 --> 00:57:36,718
- No way.
- Don't be scared.
762
00:57:36,896 --> 00:57:39,194
Run through me. Run through me.
Come on.
763
00:57:39,365 --> 00:57:42,391
Get the fear out of your eyes!
Let's go! Come on!
764
00:57:48,241 --> 00:57:49,936
Yeah!
765
00:57:52,578 --> 00:57:54,637
All right. All right now. Good job.
766
00:57:54,814 --> 00:57:59,410
Just remember, football's 80%% mental,
40%% physical.
767
00:57:59,752 --> 00:58:01,811
- Right.
- Right.
768
00:58:03,322 --> 00:58:04,311
What?
769
00:58:04,657 --> 00:58:07,854
I wasn't always the biggest.
I wasn't always the fastest.
770
00:58:08,427 --> 00:58:11,828
I wasn't always the smartest.
But I believed within myself...
771
00:58:12,164 --> 00:58:13,654
...that I was a giant.
772
00:58:13,933 --> 00:58:17,664
He pivots, fakes, chucks the big bomb
halfway down the field...
773
00:58:17,837 --> 00:58:20,601
...to our, hopefully,
still wide-open tailback.
774
00:58:20,773 --> 00:58:23,264
I call it the annexation of Puerto Rico.
775
00:58:23,442 --> 00:58:25,273
- Not bad.
- Really?
776
00:58:25,444 --> 00:58:27,275
I kind of stole it from you.
777
00:58:27,446 --> 00:58:29,846
Raiders-Vikings, Super Bowl XI.
778
00:58:30,016 --> 00:58:32,109
Hey, you are a genius.
779
00:58:32,285 --> 00:58:36,517
Thanks. Problem is we don't have
a tailback.
780
00:58:38,291 --> 00:58:41,488
Listen, what if you tried this?
781
00:58:41,661 --> 00:58:43,856
You know what this is called?
782
00:58:45,865 --> 00:58:47,457
Intimidation.
783
00:58:47,800 --> 00:58:48,960
Cool.
784
00:58:49,969 --> 00:58:52,460
Now, tomorrow,
when you go to the game...
785
00:58:52,638 --> 00:58:56,472
...you don't want to be intimidated.
So let me see your game faces.
786
00:58:58,644 --> 00:59:01,044
No, no. You can do better than that.
787
00:59:01,213 --> 00:59:03,044
Let me see your game faces.
788
00:59:05,985 --> 00:59:07,816
Try this.
789
00:59:09,288 --> 00:59:10,915
You're getting it.
790
00:59:11,157 --> 00:59:13,318
That's it, guys. Now come and get me.
791
00:59:21,834 --> 00:59:23,893
- Mind if I ask you something?
- Yeah.
792
00:59:24,070 --> 00:59:27,562
I got kind of a big game coming up.
You got any advice?
793
00:59:27,740 --> 00:59:30,504
- Good luck.
- What, that's it?
794
00:59:30,676 --> 00:59:33,008
- Later.
- See you, Steve. Bye, Emmitt.
795
00:59:33,179 --> 00:59:34,669
- Have a good trip.
- Thanks.
796
00:59:34,847 --> 00:59:39,841
There's no big secret to winning football.
It's doing what these guys do every game.
797
00:59:40,086 --> 00:59:42,350
Just go out and give it your best.
798
00:59:42,855 --> 00:59:46,416
Bottom line, I took a team
to a Super Bowl, and we won.
799
00:59:46,592 --> 00:59:49,959
I even had some guys on that team
that nobody wanted.
800
00:59:50,196 --> 00:59:52,926
But we were a team,
and that's what you guys are.
801
00:59:53,099 --> 00:59:57,593
You're a football team. That's like
a family, except you get to hit each other.
802
00:59:57,770 --> 01:00:02,230
But you have to stick together.
Do that, and you'll be fine.
803
01:00:02,408 --> 01:00:03,739
Thanks, Mr. Madden.
804
01:00:03,909 --> 01:00:06,377
- Thanks, Mr. Madden.
- See you!
805
01:00:06,545 --> 01:00:09,275
Let me tell you people something.
806
01:00:09,448 --> 01:00:11,882
This ain't just a football.
807
01:00:12,385 --> 01:00:17,448
This is your hopes, your dreams,
your ambitions, your soul in a roll.
808
01:00:17,623 --> 01:00:19,454
It's your life.
809
01:00:19,625 --> 01:00:24,494
Tomorrow on that field,
it's do or die. Win or cry!
810
01:00:24,663 --> 01:00:26,722
Go, baby! Go!
811
01:00:27,633 --> 01:00:31,626
Men, tonight when you go home,
I want you to brush your little teeth.
812
01:00:31,804 --> 01:00:33,897
I want you to wash your little faces.
813
01:00:34,073 --> 01:00:37,065
And I want you to dream
of football glory...
814
01:00:37,243 --> 01:00:42,237
...because tomorrow, we're gonna crush
the Little Giants into smithereens.
815
01:00:42,415 --> 01:00:44,315
- What do you say, men?
- Yeah!
816
01:00:44,483 --> 01:00:45,472
Yeah!
817
01:01:07,173 --> 01:01:08,470
- Guess who.
- Who?
818
01:01:08,641 --> 01:01:09,835
- Me.
- Hey, Junior.
819
01:01:10,009 --> 01:01:15,606
Hey, that's disgusting. It looks like they're
trying to swallow each other's heads.
820
01:01:15,781 --> 01:01:17,373
They're doing it all wrong.
821
01:01:17,550 --> 01:01:22,146
You have to move your head dramatic, like
Kevin Costner in Robin Hood. Like this.
822
01:01:22,321 --> 01:01:26,189
No. In movies, they do that
chicken-pecking, mouth half-open thing.
823
01:01:26,358 --> 01:01:29,122
Like this. "Hey, baby."
824
01:01:30,129 --> 01:01:32,120
No.
825
01:01:32,298 --> 01:01:37,497
Check this out. My cousin told me that
her and her boyfriend use their tongues.
826
01:01:38,204 --> 01:01:41,037
- That's disgusting.
- I know. Spit swappers.
827
01:01:41,207 --> 01:01:45,200
- Yeah, kind of like them.
- Tonsil hockey.
828
01:01:48,714 --> 01:01:51,979
You know the only problem
with kissing your own hand is?
829
01:01:52,151 --> 01:01:53,140
What?
830
01:01:53,319 --> 01:01:56,550
- It doesn't kiss back.
- You wanna learn how to kiss?
831
01:01:56,722 --> 01:02:00,317
- I didn't say that. Do you?
- No. I just got that vomit taste.
832
01:02:00,493 --> 01:02:03,155
Hey, we'll have to learn
how sooner or later...
833
01:02:03,329 --> 01:02:06,230
...I mean, if you wanna have kids
and get a job.
834
01:02:06,398 --> 01:02:09,595
- You can have kids without kissing.
- You can't get a job.
835
01:02:09,768 --> 01:02:12,999
Well, I'll become a teacher.
836
01:02:13,339 --> 01:02:17,935
But what if you were forced to?
Wouldn't it be good to learn with a friend?
837
01:02:18,511 --> 01:02:21,344
You know, for scientific purposes.
838
01:02:21,514 --> 01:02:26,417
No way! If I had to learn how to kiss,
and I mean absolutely, positively...
839
01:02:26,585 --> 01:02:32,080
...no way out of it, no matter what, can't
get out of it, I had to learn how to kiss...
840
01:02:32,258 --> 01:02:36,092
Well then, I think I'd want
to learn with...
841
01:02:36,262 --> 01:02:38,594
Let me guess.
842
01:02:39,265 --> 01:02:42,359
- Debbie.
- I don't know.
843
01:02:42,535 --> 01:02:46,938
But if not her, definitely another
cheerleader-type, right?
844
01:02:47,106 --> 01:02:50,371
Maybe. I don't know.
845
01:02:50,543 --> 01:02:52,773
Look, this is really weird.
846
01:02:53,546 --> 01:02:55,707
Hey, Junior.
847
01:02:56,549 --> 01:02:59,609
If I was like a cheerleader,
you'd wanna learn with me.
848
01:02:59,952 --> 01:03:02,944
But you're not. You're different.
849
01:03:03,122 --> 01:03:05,420
You're cool. You're the Icebox.
850
01:03:05,591 --> 01:03:09,891
Come on, you're probably the only girl
I've met that can beat up my dad.
851
01:03:11,964 --> 01:03:14,558
Anyways, I'll see you later.
852
01:03:34,987 --> 01:03:37,478
- Hey.
- Hey, Uncle Kev.
853
01:03:37,656 --> 01:03:41,023
Is Aunt Karen home?
854
01:03:47,933 --> 01:03:49,798
Come on in, buddy.
855
01:03:53,939 --> 01:03:55,566
Oh, no, you don't. You can't.
856
01:03:55,741 --> 01:03:59,040
This team has come too far
to be shot down on a lousy call.
857
01:03:59,345 --> 01:04:02,712
Watch the grabbing, zebra.
They're giving him the business.
858
01:04:02,881 --> 01:04:05,782
What? You're throwing me out?
I'll throw you out.
859
01:04:05,951 --> 01:04:07,851
I'll throw your mother out.
860
01:04:08,020 --> 01:04:10,511
- Hi, Dad.
- Hey.
861
01:04:10,689 --> 01:04:13,658
- Bye, Dad.
- Hang on. What do you got, a victory cake?
862
01:04:13,826 --> 01:04:16,693
- Half that team's allergic to chocolate.
- It's not a cake.
863
01:04:16,862 --> 01:04:19,797
You can't sneak away
without telling me what it is.
864
01:04:19,965 --> 01:04:21,364
It's nothing.
865
01:04:21,533 --> 01:04:24,468
Okay. If my little fullback
wants to surprise me...
866
01:04:24,637 --> 01:04:27,128
...that's all right with me.
867
01:04:28,307 --> 01:04:30,366
Little fullback?
868
01:04:30,542 --> 01:04:32,533
Your little fullback?
869
01:04:32,878 --> 01:04:36,245
That's all I am to you, isn't it?
Your little fullback.
870
01:04:37,149 --> 01:04:40,050
Your ticket to beating Kevin
and winning the game.
871
01:04:40,386 --> 01:04:41,717
Becky, what's wrong?
872
01:04:42,221 --> 01:04:44,815
What's wrong? Everything's wrong.
873
01:04:44,990 --> 01:04:48,687
Do you know what Mom used to call me?
Her little princess.
874
01:04:48,861 --> 01:04:52,194
When she tucked me in she'd go,
"Good night, little princess."
875
01:04:52,364 --> 01:04:54,628
Then she'd kiss me on my cheeks.
876
01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:57,997
Then she'd pull the covers all around me.
877
01:04:58,671 --> 01:05:00,536
And you remember that?
878
01:05:01,073 --> 01:05:02,233
Yeah.
879
01:05:02,408 --> 01:05:04,501
She wouldn't let me play football.
880
01:05:04,677 --> 01:05:08,010
She wouldn't call me
her little fullback either.
881
01:05:08,681 --> 01:05:12,947
Becky, look, Mom's not here anymore.
She left us.
882
01:05:13,252 --> 01:05:15,686
- She quit.
- No!
883
01:05:15,854 --> 01:05:19,017
She didn't quit. She just found
a better team.
884
01:05:19,391 --> 01:05:21,518
I'm not playing tomorrow.
885
01:05:21,694 --> 01:05:26,358
This was your idea. This game was the
most important thing in the world to you.
886
01:05:26,532 --> 01:05:32,027
No, Dad, this game means everything
in the world to you.
887
01:06:01,800 --> 01:06:05,236
Come on, Dad. Throw it in here.
888
01:06:16,815 --> 01:06:20,649
Come on, fellas. Tomorrow's the big one.
Don't let me down.
889
01:06:20,819 --> 01:06:24,619
You want intimidation?
I'll show you intimidation.
890
01:06:47,946 --> 01:06:50,779
I'll be back in a few days.
891
01:06:50,949 --> 01:06:53,110
Be good.
892
01:07:02,294 --> 01:07:05,627
- You get a good night's sleep.
- Don't think about football.
893
01:07:05,798 --> 01:07:08,358
I won't, Daddy.
894
01:07:14,206 --> 01:07:16,299
Three.
895
01:07:17,309 --> 01:07:19,709
Four.
896
01:07:20,312 --> 01:07:22,712
Five.
897
01:07:23,215 --> 01:07:25,547
Six.
898
01:07:26,051 --> 01:07:28,986
Seven. Eight.
899
01:07:35,727 --> 01:07:38,924
I want to pump you up.
900
01:08:08,694 --> 01:08:15,099
Good night, Urbania. And a special
good luck to all tomorrow's players.
901
01:08:44,396 --> 01:08:46,455
Well, hello again, everybody.
902
01:08:46,632 --> 01:08:50,068
This is Cliff Parson,
your play-by-play announcer.
903
01:08:50,235 --> 01:08:53,068
What a day it is.
We're at Kevin O'Shea Stadium...
904
01:08:53,238 --> 01:08:55,433
...located in pastoral Urbania, Ohio...
905
01:08:55,607 --> 01:08:58,667
...scene of what's become known
as "Mania in Urbania."
906
01:09:00,112 --> 01:09:02,239
Yeah, let's go.
907
01:09:04,483 --> 01:09:06,781
Now shake it up.
908
01:09:07,319 --> 01:09:10,083
Guys, quiet down! Hold it.
909
01:09:10,255 --> 01:09:14,157
Father Kelly is kind enough
to say a prayer for our victory today.
910
01:09:14,326 --> 01:09:15,418
Yeah!
911
01:09:15,594 --> 01:09:16,754
Pipe down!
912
01:09:16,929 --> 01:09:19,864
All right. Quiet down for chrissake!
913
01:09:21,166 --> 01:09:22,929
Hey, shut up!
914
01:09:25,437 --> 01:09:27,268
Go ahead, Father.
915
01:09:27,439 --> 01:09:33,503
As we are about to embark on this journey
of athletic competition...
916
01:09:33,679 --> 01:09:37,171
...we pause to reflect.
It is not whether you win or lose...
917
01:09:37,349 --> 01:09:39,681
Giants! Giants! Giants!
918
01:09:39,851 --> 01:09:40,875
What the hell?
919
01:09:41,053 --> 01:09:44,648
Giants! Giants! Giants! Giants!
920
01:09:44,823 --> 01:09:48,486
Giants! Giants! Giants! Giants!
921
01:09:48,961 --> 01:09:50,861
Let's kill them! Come on!
922
01:09:51,029 --> 01:09:52,326
They don't respect you!
923
01:09:54,533 --> 01:09:57,696
Hey, Briggs, you big snot-ball,
I'll eat you for lunch!
924
01:10:00,639 --> 01:10:03,472
All right. All right. All right. Guys, cool it.
925
01:10:03,642 --> 01:10:07,476
One sec, coach. Paging Spike the putz!
926
01:10:07,646 --> 01:10:10,137
Hey, hey! Hang on, son.
What's the matter?
927
01:10:10,315 --> 01:10:13,682
That's right, Spike!
Icebox is gonna defrost you!
928
01:10:13,852 --> 01:10:16,150
You're getting fired up?
929
01:10:16,321 --> 01:10:18,050
Yeah, there you go, son.
930
01:10:18,223 --> 01:10:21,192
Save that rage!
Uncork it on the first person you hit.
931
01:10:22,694 --> 01:10:25,492
All right. All right. All right.
Enough of that.
932
01:10:25,664 --> 01:10:28,224
- Relax, coach.
- We're unstoppable!
933
01:10:28,400 --> 01:10:29,924
Yeah!
934
01:10:30,836 --> 01:10:31,928
Hi, guys.
935
01:10:34,072 --> 01:10:35,664
Becky?
936
01:10:35,841 --> 01:10:39,743
Look, I just came by to wish you
good luck and have a great game.
937
01:10:40,345 --> 01:10:42,677
I'll be rooting for you.
938
01:10:47,252 --> 01:10:49,447
All right. Everything's gonna be okay.
939
01:10:49,621 --> 01:10:51,714
- Let's talk strategy, guys.
- Strategy?
940
01:10:51,890 --> 01:10:54,518
Without Becky, we're gonna be
Cream of Wheat.
941
01:10:54,693 --> 01:10:58,857
Without Icebox, Spike's gonna rip off
my face and wear it on Halloween.
942
01:10:59,031 --> 01:11:02,933
I'm leaving the country.
I'm going to New Mexico.
943
01:11:03,769 --> 01:11:06,033
Guys, wait. I got something to show you.
944
01:11:06,204 --> 01:11:07,466
- What?
- What is it?
945
01:11:12,044 --> 01:11:13,375
Death shrouds.
946
01:11:15,047 --> 01:11:16,571
Your name's on the back.
947
01:11:16,748 --> 01:11:21,879
So the guys at the morgue
can identify the bodies.
948
01:11:34,900 --> 01:11:39,132
Hold up! Gentlemen...
949
01:11:39,971 --> 01:11:41,734
...this ain't just a football.
950
01:11:41,907 --> 01:11:43,238
It's our lives!
951
01:11:43,408 --> 01:11:45,433
Show them what we have!
952
01:11:45,644 --> 01:11:48,807
Here come the Cowboys!
953
01:11:52,084 --> 01:11:54,609
Let's go, guys. Come on.
954
01:11:54,786 --> 01:11:57,277
Okay? Here we go. All right!
955
01:12:10,102 --> 01:12:13,765
Okay. Remember, guys,
this is just a football...
956
01:12:13,939 --> 01:12:15,873
...just air and pig intestines.
957
01:12:17,542 --> 01:12:19,772
All right. Come on.
Let's get out there.
958
01:12:33,625 --> 01:12:36,492
I can't see with this thing on!
959
01:12:42,934 --> 01:12:45,198
Is this on? Is this...?
960
01:12:45,370 --> 01:12:47,861
Great to see you, folks.
Welcome to the park.
961
01:12:48,039 --> 01:12:53,067
Today, Kevin's peewee Cowboys
are gonna test their mini-muscles...
962
01:12:53,245 --> 01:12:55,338
... against Danny's Little Giants.
963
01:12:55,514 --> 01:12:57,106
Little Giants, nice touch.
964
01:12:57,282 --> 01:12:59,147
- I thought you'd like that.
- Guys.
965
01:12:59,317 --> 01:13:00,443
Kevin, you call it.
966
01:13:00,619 --> 01:13:03,281
- Heads.
- Excuse me. How come he gets to call it?
967
01:13:03,455 --> 01:13:07,050
What's the difference?
You kick off, we ram it down your throat.
968
01:13:07,225 --> 01:13:10,683
We kick off, take it from you,
then ram it down your throat.
969
01:13:10,862 --> 01:13:14,320
You've been bossing me around
since we were kids. Stop it.
970
01:13:14,499 --> 01:13:16,933
You don't ask for things. You take them.
971
01:13:17,102 --> 01:13:19,696
Like you took my ticket
to that World Series?
972
01:13:19,871 --> 01:13:22,066
Guys, cut it out. You're brothers.
973
01:13:22,240 --> 01:13:25,004
- Not by choice.
- I don't have to take that...
974
01:13:25,177 --> 01:13:28,669
...from a guy who sunk
his last dime into a broken gas station.
975
01:13:28,847 --> 01:13:32,374
It's been servicing this community
for over 40 years.
976
01:13:32,551 --> 01:13:35,418
- It's a landmark.
- Ought to be a landfill.
977
01:13:35,587 --> 01:13:38,750
You don't know anything
about loyalty or heart.
978
01:13:38,924 --> 01:13:42,690
I would put that gas station
up against any business in this town.
979
01:13:42,861 --> 01:13:44,192
- You sure?
- Yes, I am.
980
01:13:44,362 --> 01:13:46,762
- Okay, fine.
- Okay, fine.
981
01:13:46,932 --> 01:13:48,456
What are we talking about?
982
01:13:48,934 --> 01:13:53,268
My car dealership against your gas station,
winner of this game takes it all.
983
01:13:53,438 --> 01:13:54,928
- You're on.
- Fine.
984
01:13:55,106 --> 01:13:58,269
I'll even let you call it. Open up your fist.
985
01:13:58,443 --> 01:14:00,934
- Heads.
- Tails.
986
01:14:01,112 --> 01:14:05,412
- This will be the longest day of your life.
- We'll see about that.
987
01:14:05,951 --> 01:14:07,043
What am I doing?
988
01:14:07,219 --> 01:14:10,382
Cowboys! Cowboys!
Win, win, win!
989
01:14:10,555 --> 01:14:14,150
- Giants! Giants!
- Help us, God!
990
01:14:16,928 --> 01:14:18,896
Let's make something happen.
991
01:14:21,933 --> 01:14:26,461
Giants kicking off. They'll defend
the western goal to my right, your left.
992
01:14:49,294 --> 01:14:50,283
Go!
993
01:14:50,462 --> 01:14:53,920
All right, guys. All right.
Kicking is the key to this game.
994
01:15:00,438 --> 01:15:03,999
Somebody's holding a pound of Aunt
Betty's nut butter. It's a live ball!
995
01:15:04,175 --> 01:15:06,268
Cowboys recover.
996
01:15:14,986 --> 01:15:16,954
That was easy.
997
01:15:19,324 --> 01:15:21,224
l-formation right, 32 dive on go.
998
01:15:21,393 --> 01:15:23,122
Ready. Break!
999
01:15:23,295 --> 01:15:25,286
When I get finished with you...
1000
01:15:25,463 --> 01:15:28,398
...you'll fart out your mouth
and talk out your butt.
1001
01:15:28,800 --> 01:15:30,461
Is that physically possible?
1002
01:15:30,635 --> 01:15:31,693
Down!
1003
01:15:32,804 --> 01:15:33,862
Set!
1004
01:15:34,039 --> 01:15:35,233
Go!
1005
01:15:40,979 --> 01:15:44,073
- All right. All right.
- That's my boy!
1006
01:15:47,552 --> 01:15:49,019
Are you all right?
1007
01:15:49,220 --> 01:15:50,244
I think so.
1008
01:15:50,555 --> 01:15:53,183
I guess it is possible.
1009
01:15:53,358 --> 01:15:55,053
Go!
1010
01:16:03,969 --> 01:16:06,301
Way to hold him.
1011
01:16:12,344 --> 01:16:14,505
Dead meat.
1012
01:16:16,147 --> 01:16:17,409
Go!
1013
01:16:24,689 --> 01:16:26,452
Stay with him. Come on.
1014
01:16:33,598 --> 01:16:36,431
Touchdown, Cowboys!
1015
01:16:39,904 --> 01:16:43,067
This isn't American Gladiators.
That was a cheap shot.
1016
01:16:43,274 --> 01:16:45,105
No penalty. No penalty.
1017
01:16:49,314 --> 01:16:53,478
Did I pass the spelling test, Mrs. Greely?
1018
01:16:53,852 --> 01:16:58,482
Wow. Spike knocked him all the way back
to second grade.
1019
01:17:09,467 --> 01:17:12,698
- Okay, three little pigs on go. Ready.
- Wait.
1020
01:17:12,871 --> 01:17:16,068
- What's the three little pigs?
- Here.
1021
01:17:16,241 --> 01:17:21,338
Look. We're lined up strong left. Zolteck,
watch Murphy coming through the hole.
1022
01:17:21,679 --> 01:17:23,943
- Ready.
- Break!
1023
01:17:28,887 --> 01:17:31,117
Down!
1024
01:17:31,289 --> 01:17:34,315
Set! Go!
1025
01:17:37,195 --> 01:17:40,130
Blow the whistle! Blow the whistle!
1026
01:17:40,298 --> 01:17:44,462
Blow the whistle! Come on. Blow it!
Blow it!
1027
01:17:45,170 --> 01:17:48,037
Tad, you're going the wrong way.
1028
01:17:48,273 --> 01:17:51,436
Blow the whistle! Come on!
Blow the whistle! Blow it.
1029
01:17:51,609 --> 01:17:53,167
Blow it!
1030
01:17:56,748 --> 01:17:57,874
All right.
1031
01:17:58,149 --> 01:17:59,776
Down!
1032
01:18:00,385 --> 01:18:03,115
Set! Hut!
1033
01:18:17,302 --> 01:18:20,328
I should have gone to summer school.
1034
01:18:45,830 --> 01:18:48,765
Okay. Hanon, I want you to run
a bear trap curl...
1035
01:18:48,933 --> 01:18:51,902
...and try to catch the ball.
- No problem.
1036
01:18:52,070 --> 01:18:55,870
- Okay, guys. On two. Ready.
- Break!
1037
01:19:04,182 --> 01:19:05,843
Down!
1038
01:19:07,118 --> 01:19:10,610
Set! Go! Go! Go!
1039
01:19:23,902 --> 01:19:27,065
Hey, Hot Hands.
You're the best player on our team.
1040
01:19:30,441 --> 01:19:32,568
- Ready.
- Break!
1041
01:19:33,912 --> 01:19:35,277
Gonna rip your head off.
1042
01:19:37,515 --> 01:19:39,176
Down!
1043
01:19:40,318 --> 01:19:41,808
Set!
1044
01:19:42,320 --> 01:19:44,720
Go! Go! Go! Go!
1045
01:19:48,560 --> 01:19:54,226
Hammersmith dives on the ball in the
end zone. Touchdown, Cowboys!
1046
01:19:54,866 --> 01:19:57,460
I can't see with this thing on!
1047
01:19:57,635 --> 01:20:02,436
That's the end of your first half.
The score: Cowboys 21, Giants nothing.
1048
01:20:02,607 --> 01:20:06,771
- I'm not finished with you, Zol-fart.
- Have a nice halftime, girls.
1049
01:20:06,945 --> 01:20:10,142
Look at my back. Is my spine sticking out
through my uniform?
1050
01:20:10,481 --> 01:20:14,349
- It's hard to tell.
- I've lost feeling in the back of my leg.
1051
01:20:14,519 --> 01:20:16,578
- Maybe it's asleep.
- Nobody wake it.
1052
01:20:16,754 --> 01:20:21,157
- Hanon, call 911.
- I can't. My fingers are stuck together.
1053
01:20:21,359 --> 01:20:25,762
Hey, Danny, this thing's gone far enough.
Let's call it off, huh?
1054
01:20:25,930 --> 01:20:28,490
- It's not over.
- It's not over. You're sure?
1055
01:20:28,666 --> 01:20:29,963
It's halftime.
1056
01:20:30,134 --> 01:20:35,037
Okay, kid. Hey, there'll always be a job
for you at the full-service pumps.
1057
01:20:47,585 --> 01:20:50,019
Okay, guys. Listen up. We still got a shot.
1058
01:20:50,188 --> 01:20:52,850
A couple things go differently for us,
we're in it.
1059
01:20:53,358 --> 01:20:56,122
- We can do it.
- We really creamed them by showing up.
1060
01:20:56,294 --> 01:21:00,321
We quit. So call us if you decide
to coach softball.
1061
01:21:00,898 --> 01:21:04,299
- What about the second half?
- Tell them we can't come out.
1062
01:21:06,204 --> 01:21:09,765
- Put us on the injured list.
- Yeah.
1063
01:21:22,687 --> 01:21:26,521
You know, there's something
you guys should know.
1064
01:21:26,691 --> 01:21:30,593
When I was 10 years old,
I put myself on the injured list.
1065
01:21:32,797 --> 01:21:36,255
- I never got off.
- Why?
1066
01:21:36,434 --> 01:21:40,996
Because I didn't get picked a few times.
So I started hiding under the bleachers.
1067
01:21:41,306 --> 01:21:43,774
That's where we belong,
under the bleachers.
1068
01:21:43,941 --> 01:21:45,340
No, you don't.
1069
01:21:45,510 --> 01:21:48,104
You guys belong out there
with those Cowboys.
1070
01:21:48,279 --> 01:21:51,942
You know how I know that?
Because I belong out there with my brother.
1071
01:21:52,116 --> 01:21:55,449
Give us a break. You couldn't beat
Kevin O'Shea at anything.
1072
01:21:55,620 --> 01:21:59,579
- No, that's not true. I did beat him once.
- When?
1073
01:22:00,391 --> 01:22:04,725
When we were kids. We used to race
our bikes down Cherry Hill after school.
1074
01:22:04,896 --> 01:22:07,490
We'd race every day,
and he always beat me.
1075
01:22:07,665 --> 01:22:11,260
But one time, one time, I beat him.
1076
01:22:11,469 --> 01:22:16,429
- You beat Kevin down Cherry Hill?
- Yes, I did. He ate my dust.
1077
01:22:16,874 --> 01:22:19,968
- Big deal. One time.
- You know...
1078
01:22:20,144 --> 01:22:24,638
...one time, at Randy Cooper's swim party,
I did a back flip off the high dive.
1079
01:22:24,816 --> 01:22:29,753
- And my brother chickened out.
- Roger chickened out? He's a Marine.
1080
01:22:29,921 --> 01:22:32,913
Oh, that's nothing.
One time, at a Spring Carnival...
1081
01:22:33,091 --> 01:22:35,753
...I beat both my brothers
in the cow-dung toss.
1082
01:22:35,927 --> 01:22:38,657
You beat Matt and Brad in the turd toss?
1083
01:22:38,896 --> 01:22:41,490
One time, I went fishing
with my entire family.
1084
01:22:41,666 --> 01:22:44,191
I was the only one that didn't throw up.
1085
01:22:44,369 --> 01:22:47,338
So what?
That doesn't make us good football players.
1086
01:22:47,638 --> 01:22:51,472
Wait a second, guys. Who said
you had to be good to play football?
1087
01:22:51,642 --> 01:22:53,837
You play football because you want to.
1088
01:22:54,145 --> 01:22:55,942
You play because it's fun.
1089
01:22:56,147 --> 01:22:59,139
You play so you can pretend
you're Joe Montana...
1090
01:22:59,317 --> 01:23:03,276
...throwing a touchdown pass
or Emmitt Smith going for a long run.
1091
01:23:03,454 --> 01:23:06,446
And even if those Cowboys are better
than you guys...
1092
01:23:06,624 --> 01:23:10,492
...even if they beat you 99 times
out of 100...
1093
01:23:10,661 --> 01:23:13,357
...that still leaves...
- One time.
1094
01:23:13,731 --> 01:23:17,895
- One time.
- Yeah. One time.
1095
01:23:21,038 --> 01:23:25,338
- Stop! Who are we?
- Giants!
1096
01:23:32,450 --> 01:23:36,511
- I just told the mayor you forfeited.
- You give the mayor a message for me.
1097
01:23:36,687 --> 01:23:38,951
Tell him not to bet on the Cowboys.
1098
01:23:39,123 --> 01:23:40,385
- You forget one thing.
- What?
1099
01:23:40,558 --> 01:23:44,392
- That's my field.
- Yeah, well, we got the ball.
1100
01:23:45,696 --> 01:23:48,062
Come on. All right.
1101
01:23:57,942 --> 01:24:00,274
Okay, guys. All right. Here we go.
1102
01:24:00,478 --> 01:24:02,844
- Go, Spike.
- All right. Let's hit somebody.
1103
01:24:03,014 --> 01:24:04,948
Break!
1104
01:24:07,251 --> 01:24:09,811
They're gonna have to put you in a body bag.
1105
01:24:10,221 --> 01:24:13,713
- Prepare to eat grass.
- Pig breath, you're in big trouble.
1106
01:24:13,925 --> 01:24:19,090
- How come?
- Football's 80%% mental and 40%% physical.
1107
01:24:19,263 --> 01:24:20,890
- Set. Go!
- What?
1108
01:24:31,742 --> 01:24:33,767
Hey, guys, look!
1109
01:24:34,912 --> 01:24:38,040
- Second and nine.
- They gained a yard!
1110
01:24:40,585 --> 01:24:42,746
We got one yard.
1111
01:24:45,790 --> 01:24:47,451
One yard.
1112
01:24:47,859 --> 01:24:49,417
Don't mean nothing.
1113
01:24:49,827 --> 01:24:51,556
Down!
1114
01:24:51,729 --> 01:24:54,129
Set! Go!
1115
01:24:59,537 --> 01:25:03,234
Flea-flicker to Floyd. He's got
room up the sideline, the 45, the 50.
1116
01:25:09,146 --> 01:25:13,105
First down, Giants, on their longest gain
of the afternoon.
1117
01:25:13,317 --> 01:25:15,376
What kind of defense is that? Come on.
1118
01:25:15,553 --> 01:25:17,544
All right. Great. Great stuff.
1119
01:25:17,722 --> 01:25:22,284
Giants, Giants, first and 10
Giants, Giants
1120
01:25:22,560 --> 01:25:26,257
Okay, listen up. What would be the last thing
they'd expect us to do?
1121
01:25:27,131 --> 01:25:31,261
- A reverse to me?
- Down!
1122
01:25:31,802 --> 01:25:35,101
Set! Go!
1123
01:25:37,341 --> 01:25:39,673
I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die.
1124
01:25:39,844 --> 01:25:42,312
- Come on, Tad!
- I'm gonna die!
1125
01:25:42,480 --> 01:25:44,971
Tad! Go! Go! Run out of bounds!
1126
01:25:50,087 --> 01:25:51,611
Tad! Run!
1127
01:26:00,831 --> 01:26:02,696
Go! Go!
1128
01:26:04,769 --> 01:26:07,169
We scored! We scored a touchdown!
1129
01:26:07,371 --> 01:26:09,805
Touchdown, Giants!
1130
01:26:12,043 --> 01:26:14,807
Oh, my God! My son scored a touchdown.
1131
01:26:40,605 --> 01:26:44,632
Down. Set. Go!
1132
01:26:55,219 --> 01:26:58,154
Yes. I've done it.
1133
01:27:12,770 --> 01:27:15,534
All right, Spike.
We're not taking any chances.
1134
01:27:15,706 --> 01:27:20,040
Either take Junior Floyd out of the game
or you donate a kidney to Aunt Ruth.
1135
01:27:20,211 --> 01:27:23,112
- Yes, sir!
- Okay. Come on. Get going.
1136
01:27:41,465 --> 01:27:46,027
- Personal foul, number 32, white.
- Are you crazy? What kind of call is that?
1137
01:27:46,203 --> 01:27:49,934
Hey. That wasn't very nice, you big bully.
1138
01:27:50,107 --> 01:27:54,441
If that kid of yours pulls another stunt
like that, you're both out of here.
1139
01:27:54,612 --> 01:27:59,242
- Hey, I thought you wanted to win.
- Not like that.
1140
01:28:28,913 --> 01:28:31,347
- Hi.
- Sure you want to do this, Becky?
1141
01:28:31,515 --> 01:28:34,450
- Call me Icebox.
- Hey, Icebox.
1142
01:28:34,618 --> 01:28:36,415
Kick some butt.
1143
01:28:38,656 --> 01:28:40,146
Call me Becky.
1144
01:28:49,800 --> 01:28:53,497
- What's that cheerleader doing?
- It's no cheerleader. That's my niece.
1145
01:28:53,671 --> 01:28:54,968
And she's pissed.
1146
01:28:55,139 --> 01:28:56,663
Break!
1147
01:28:59,110 --> 01:29:02,978
Keep clear, Ice Chest,
or I'll have to mess up your face.
1148
01:29:04,882 --> 01:29:08,841
Two, fifty-six. Two, fifty-six.
1149
01:29:09,019 --> 01:29:12,386
Two, fifty-six. Down!
1150
01:29:12,656 --> 01:29:15,625
Set! Go!
1151
01:29:26,470 --> 01:29:31,305
What a hit by Becky O'Shea.
The ball is loose. Hanon tightly covers it up.
1152
01:29:31,509 --> 01:29:34,034
Yes! All right! That's my girl!
1153
01:29:34,211 --> 01:29:36,042
Yeah.
1154
01:29:36,213 --> 01:29:37,703
No!
1155
01:29:40,584 --> 01:29:42,313
- Let it go, man.
- Get away.
1156
01:29:43,120 --> 01:29:46,556
I got it! I got it! I got it!
1157
01:29:56,600 --> 01:29:58,693
Zolteck! Come here.
1158
01:29:59,203 --> 01:30:04,800
- You rang?
- Chicken little flea-flicker on two. Take it.
1159
01:30:06,610 --> 01:30:10,341
- Okay. Chicken little flea-flicker on two.
- What's that?
1160
01:30:10,614 --> 01:30:12,013
It's a pitch to Johnny.
1161
01:30:12,516 --> 01:30:16,919
Pitch to Johnny?
You can't pitch to Johnny. I'm Johnny!
1162
01:30:17,087 --> 01:30:19,681
Zolteck, he's gonna need some running room.
1163
01:30:19,990 --> 01:30:21,355
Got you.
1164
01:30:21,525 --> 01:30:24,961
- Break!
- Excuse me, guys! Guys, come on!
1165
01:30:26,630 --> 01:30:31,727
Excuse me. Maybe you can help me.
I'm trying to remember what I had for lunch.
1166
01:30:31,969 --> 01:30:35,632
- How can we do that?
- By taking a whiff of this.
1167
01:30:37,875 --> 01:30:39,433
Hut. Hut two.
1168
01:30:41,579 --> 01:30:44,810
- Now what?
- Just run to him.
1169
01:30:46,250 --> 01:30:48,115
Dad?
1170
01:30:48,686 --> 01:30:50,779
Dad!
1171
01:30:50,955 --> 01:30:52,217
Dad!
1172
01:30:58,429 --> 01:31:00,260
Dad!
1173
01:31:01,398 --> 01:31:03,525
Dad!
1174
01:31:07,171 --> 01:31:08,468
Dad!
1175
01:31:09,373 --> 01:31:12,501
Touchdown! The Giants deficit
is cut in half...
1176
01:31:12,676 --> 01:31:15,270
...on brilliant running by Johnny Vennaro.
1177
01:31:17,915 --> 01:31:22,477
- Line up. Let's go. Get the guys over here.
- We're out there. Let's go to kick off.
1178
01:31:25,089 --> 01:31:26,647
Down!
1179
01:31:26,824 --> 01:31:29,816
Set! Go!
1180
01:31:36,300 --> 01:31:40,327
- Clear it out. Let's go.
- All right, guys. Way to go.
1181
01:31:40,504 --> 01:31:42,802
What's the matter, four-eyes?
1182
01:31:42,973 --> 01:31:45,134
Want your mama?
1183
01:31:45,809 --> 01:31:48,141
Don't be talking about my mama.
1184
01:31:49,380 --> 01:31:53,373
Watching Jake play football
has really been great for my family.
1185
01:31:53,550 --> 01:31:54,608
Yeah.
1186
01:31:54,785 --> 01:31:57,652
Down. Set. Go!
1187
01:32:02,927 --> 01:32:06,363
Rip their filthy ears off, Jakester!
1188
01:32:08,499 --> 01:32:10,763
Yes! Yes!
1189
01:32:17,675 --> 01:32:22,476
- I use these for acid indigestion.
- So what are we gonna use these for?
1190
01:32:22,646 --> 01:32:24,341
Intimidation.
1191
01:32:27,318 --> 01:32:28,808
Break!
1192
01:32:41,165 --> 01:32:42,894
Go.
1193
01:32:46,170 --> 01:32:49,264
What's the matter with you?
You gonna play or what?
1194
01:32:49,773 --> 01:32:53,903
Okay. I've got the play.
Silver streak to Hanon on two.
1195
01:32:54,078 --> 01:32:55,340
Are you sure?
1196
01:32:55,512 --> 01:32:57,844
- Ready.
- Break!
1197
01:32:58,983 --> 01:33:01,474
- Oh, crud.
- Come on.
1198
01:33:02,419 --> 01:33:04,546
Set! Go!
1199
01:33:09,093 --> 01:33:11,118
Pass! Pass! Pass!
1200
01:33:24,942 --> 01:33:26,569
Yeah! That's my boy!
1201
01:33:34,485 --> 01:33:36,214
All right, Hanon!
1202
01:33:36,387 --> 01:33:37,649
Touchdown!
1203
01:33:37,821 --> 01:33:40,119
- Wrong defense!
- I didn't call the blitz!
1204
01:33:45,129 --> 01:33:47,996
With 1:45 left and the score tied
21 to 21...
1205
01:33:48,165 --> 01:33:52,158
...it looks like Mr. Momentum
may be changing his address.
1206
01:33:52,336 --> 01:33:53,667
All right, men. Let's go.
1207
01:33:55,005 --> 01:33:56,802
Down!
1208
01:33:57,141 --> 01:33:58,802
Set!
1209
01:33:59,309 --> 01:34:01,106
Go!
1210
01:34:06,750 --> 01:34:09,583
- Get off of me.
- You're mine.
1211
01:34:11,755 --> 01:34:13,882
All right. All right.
1212
01:34:16,460 --> 01:34:20,726
With less than a minute to play, the
Cowboys are heading for that end zone.
1213
01:34:20,898 --> 01:34:22,661
Set! Go!
1214
01:34:28,472 --> 01:34:30,303
Stick a fork in them. They're done!
1215
01:34:32,409 --> 01:34:34,604
Easy! Easy! One more!
1216
01:34:34,945 --> 01:34:36,105
Come here, son.
1217
01:34:36,280 --> 01:34:39,875
Thirty-eight toss. You understand?
Thirty-eight toss. Let's go.
1218
01:34:43,087 --> 01:34:46,056
Do you remember that
championship game with Sutterville?
1219
01:34:46,223 --> 01:34:49,317
The one where Kevin scored
the winning touchdown?
1220
01:34:50,461 --> 01:34:51,723
Time-out.
1221
01:34:51,895 --> 01:34:56,332
The Giants call a time-out with 10 seconds
left and the ball on the one-yard line.
1222
01:34:57,034 --> 01:34:59,025
Come on, guys. Huddle up.
1223
01:34:59,203 --> 01:35:02,730
Look, no one thought
we'd make it this far.
1224
01:35:02,906 --> 01:35:06,899
But now it's time to really dig in.
They're gonna give the ball to Spike.
1225
01:35:07,077 --> 01:35:09,978
- We've gotta stop him.
- He's too strong.
1226
01:35:10,147 --> 01:35:12,513
We can do it together.
1227
01:35:14,184 --> 01:35:16,709
- Ready.
- Break!
1228
01:35:17,521 --> 01:35:21,321
Hold that line! Hold that line!
Hold that line!
1229
01:35:22,793 --> 01:35:24,226
Set!
1230
01:35:26,864 --> 01:35:28,422
They know the play.
1231
01:35:28,599 --> 01:35:30,692
They know the play.
1232
01:35:33,770 --> 01:35:36,170
Set!
1233
01:35:36,406 --> 01:35:38,431
Go!
1234
01:36:07,171 --> 01:36:09,162
Turn it up!
1235
01:36:15,312 --> 01:36:17,712
- Yes! We're in! Touchdown!
- Yeah!
1236
01:36:17,881 --> 01:36:19,644
- It was over!
- No. We stopped him.
1237
01:36:19,816 --> 01:36:21,374
- He was in.
- No way.
1238
01:36:21,685 --> 01:36:23,949
Move it back. Everybody, off the ball.
1239
01:36:24,121 --> 01:36:25,782
Move back.
1240
01:36:26,290 --> 01:36:27,484
Giants' ball!
1241
01:36:28,091 --> 01:36:29,752
No! No!
1242
01:36:29,927 --> 01:36:31,952
Giants' ball!
1243
01:36:32,129 --> 01:36:33,596
Told you.
1244
01:36:33,764 --> 01:36:35,629
Time-out.
1245
01:36:40,003 --> 01:36:43,097
You did it, guys. You stopped him.
I'm real proud of you.
1246
01:36:43,273 --> 01:36:47,141
- Coach, there's still four seconds left.
- We can beat these guys.
1247
01:36:49,313 --> 01:36:52,043
Put me in, coach!
I wanna kick some butt!
1248
01:36:52,216 --> 01:36:54,514
What kind of play you got for this?
1249
01:36:54,918 --> 01:36:57,580
How about the annexation of Puerto Rico?
1250
01:36:57,754 --> 01:37:02,123
With four seconds left, the Giants
trot onto the field for the final play.
1251
01:37:05,295 --> 01:37:07,957
- Ready.
- One time.
1252
01:37:10,834 --> 01:37:12,597
- Ready.
- Break!
1253
01:37:13,837 --> 01:37:16,169
You're mine, pom-pom.
1254
01:37:17,674 --> 01:37:20,700
- All right.
- Let's go, baby. One more play, baby.
1255
01:37:20,877 --> 01:37:23,072
Watch the wingman.
1256
01:37:28,819 --> 01:37:30,446
Down!
1257
01:37:30,621 --> 01:37:33,181
- Don't let anybody behind you!
- Set!
1258
01:37:37,995 --> 01:37:39,758
Go!
1259
01:37:44,201 --> 01:37:46,965
Reverse! Reverse!
1260
01:37:50,240 --> 01:37:53,676
She doesn't have the ball.
Fumblerooski! Fumblerooski!
1261
01:37:57,147 --> 01:38:01,413
- Yeah! No mercy!
- No ball.
1262
01:38:06,757 --> 01:38:09,055
- Get him!
- He's got the ball!
1263
01:38:21,705 --> 01:38:24,333
I got it. I got it.
1264
01:38:24,508 --> 01:38:26,066
Come on! Come on!
1265
01:38:26,543 --> 01:38:29,944
I'm gonna score a touchdown.
I'm gonna score a touchdown!
1266
01:38:30,113 --> 01:38:32,081
No, you're not.
1267
01:38:37,788 --> 01:38:39,016
Yeah!
1268
01:38:42,359 --> 01:38:45,260
- We won!
- We won!
1269
01:39:05,282 --> 01:39:07,147
We did it! We won!
1270
01:39:07,684 --> 01:39:10,915
- We won! We won! We won!
- We did it!
1271
01:39:11,088 --> 01:39:12,817
We won!
1272
01:39:13,924 --> 01:39:16,984
We won! We won!
1273
01:39:17,994 --> 01:39:19,222
We won!
1274
01:39:22,632 --> 01:39:24,691
Patty Floyd...
1275
01:39:25,335 --> 01:39:29,101
...I was wondering if you'd be interested
in having dinner with me?
1276
01:39:33,009 --> 01:39:35,603
Fine, if you'd like to think about it.
1277
01:39:38,582 --> 01:39:40,675
Get a grip, Dad.
1278
01:39:42,919 --> 01:39:45,649
Yeah! Oh, yeah!
1279
01:39:46,423 --> 01:39:47,856
Yes!
1280
01:39:51,061 --> 01:39:55,964
Giants! Giants! Giants! Giants!
1281
01:39:57,000 --> 01:40:00,197
Congratulations, Danny.
Looks like you're the new head coach.
1282
01:40:00,370 --> 01:40:03,635
If you're pissed at me, don't be.
If I wasn't tough on you...
1283
01:40:03,807 --> 01:40:06,742
...when we were kids,
you never would've beat me today.
1284
01:40:06,910 --> 01:40:11,677
- Okay. Listen, Kev, my guys are wondering...
- They want to tar and feather me in public?
1285
01:40:11,915 --> 01:40:15,783
No. They're wondering if your team
wants to join the Little Giants.
1286
01:40:15,952 --> 01:40:18,182
One town. One team.
1287
01:40:19,156 --> 01:40:21,681
- All right. I'll tell my boys.
- Hey, Kev.
1288
01:40:21,858 --> 01:40:25,055
- Is it possible to have two head coaches?
- No.
1289
01:40:25,228 --> 01:40:29,460
In case the head coach doesn't know
as much about football as the other coach?
1290
01:40:34,871 --> 01:40:37,101
Let me think about it. All right?
1291
01:40:37,274 --> 01:40:39,868
- Deal.
- Danny.
1292
01:40:40,477 --> 01:40:42,911
That bet we made,
you're not holding me to it?
1293
01:40:43,480 --> 01:40:48,508
Kevin, am I the kind of guy that's gonna
throw his own brother out on the street?
1294
01:40:48,819 --> 01:40:51,014
- No.
- There's always a job for you...
1295
01:40:51,188 --> 01:40:54,521
...at Danny O'Shea Chevrolet.
I'll start you on commission...
1296
01:40:54,691 --> 01:40:59,321
Danny, look, there's gotta be some way
we can work this out. What do you want?
1297
01:40:59,496 --> 01:41:02,693
Well, there is one thing.
1298
01:41:02,866 --> 01:41:04,390
What?
1299
01:45:50,420 --> 01:45:51,409
[ENGLISH]