1
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,680
<i>Usually, when I looked
into the mirror,</i>

2
00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,682
<i>I could only focus on my flaws.</i>

3
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:20,729
<i>That my stomach wasn't flat enough,
my thighs weren't thin enough.</i>

4
00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:22,231
<i>My butt wasn't high enough.</i>

5
00:00:22,898 --> 00:00:26,068
<i>But I finally had
something else to focus on.</i>

6
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:33,200
<i>It made me feel invincible.</i>

7
00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:38,413
<i>King Arthur had Excalibur
and now, I had a crown.</i>

8
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:43,460
<i>I was going to be a queen
and nothing could get in my way.</i>

9
00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:53,679
Oh, my God!

10
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:55,764
Whoa.

11
00:00:58,392 --> 00:00:59,393
No way.

12
00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:03,188
Ew!

13
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,440
What the eff?

14
00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:08,068
What the eff? Wha...

15
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:10,988
Why the hell did you send out a picture
of Dixie Sinclair's hoo-ha

16
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,197
to the entire school?

17
00:01:12,281 --> 00:01:13,323
I didn't.

18
00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:17,035
Oh, my God!
It looks like it came from my phone.

19
00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:19,371
How did you even get
a picture of Dixie's...?

20
00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:20,956
I didn't. I don't have one.

21
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,584
How would this even happen?

22
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:24,876
Where's your phone?

23
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,506
You're sure you had this with you
the entire morning?

24
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,758
- Yes.
- Somebody must have hacked your phone.

25
00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:33,135
Who would hack Patty's phone?

26
00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:36,722
Clearly someone who has naked pictures
of Dixie Sinclair.

27
00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:39,558
Don't look at me.

28
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,518
Dixie's on Teen Roulette.

29
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:44,855
There's at least 30 different guys
who have pictures of her shenanigans.

30
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,940
Oh, gross. Doesn't that bother you?

31
00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:49,401
- She's your girlfriend.
- No, she's not.

32
00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,862
She was just using me for my dong.
So I ended it.

33
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,239
What? You guys are already over?

34
00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:56,575
All I wanted to do was
take her out to dinner,

35
00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:59,703
but she didn't want to be seen
with me in public.

36
00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:02,956
Her loss. She's a moron.

37
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:07,210
You're smart and sweet and handsome.

38
00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:08,837
Really?

39
00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:10,797
Focus on the problem.

40
00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:13,258
Who the hell would hack my phone
and make it look like I...?

41
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,470
No! No, no, no, no, no, no!

42
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,764
It's an email from
the Miss Magic Jesus Pageant Board.

43
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,557
They heard about the Dixie photos.

44
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,770
they're disqualifying me
for cyber-bullying.

45
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,521
Well, that's one mystery solved.

46
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:28,440
Somebody's trying to sabotage you.

47
00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:31,777
Dixie Sinclair.

48
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:34,321
No way. She's not smart enough
to hack your phone.

49
00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:36,531
Okay, so who else would...?

50
00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:37,908
I got to talk to Bob.

51
00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:41,161
I should go after her.

52
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:44,331
Or you could just stay here.

53
00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:46,249
Why?

54
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,046
Did you mean what you said earlier?

55
00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:52,798
That I'm...

56
00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:57,094
smart and sweet and handsome?

57
00:02:58,261 --> 00:02:59,179
Yeah.

58
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:00,806
Why?

59
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:25,080
<i>Every morning, I put on my armor
like a knight.</i>

60
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,666
<i>I readied myself for battle each day.</i>

61
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:30,585
<i>And since Patty had won
the mother-daughter pageant,</i>

62
00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:33,338
<i>I felt like I had slain my first dragon.</i>

63
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:38,218
<i>Now, I was ready to go on my very own
grail quest for Patty</i>

64
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:42,931
<i>to win the Miss Magic Jesus crown
and nothing could get in my way.</i>

65
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,939
<i>"Dear Bob. Patty gave me this.</i>

66
00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:52,733
<i>I know you cheated.</i>

67
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,609
<i>I need time and space to think.</i>

68
00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:57,446
<i>I'll call when I'm ready to talk.
Coralee."</i>

69
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,158
<i>And suddenly,
I had another dragon to slay.</i>

70
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:02,826
<i>Patty Bladell.</i>

71
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:09,166
<i>We regret to inform you,
you have been blocked by this user.</i>

72
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,793
Shit! Shit! Shit!

73
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,969
Magnolia, wait up!

74
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,347
I still can't believe you don't want
to drive to school together.

75
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:27,309
I've seen plenty of you this morning,
thanks to Patty Bladell.

76
00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:30,771
Don't judge me! Patty's a cyber-bully.

77
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:33,440
And you should be on my side,
as my friend.

78
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:36,234
We are not friends. Just because my dad
let you move into our house

79
00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,236
because he felt bad
for putting your mom in jail.

80
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,405
Okay, fine. Not friends, sisters.

81
00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:41,406
We are not!

82
00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:44,618
Stop climbing into my bed at night
and spooning me. It's weird.

83
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:46,912
But I miss my mama
and I can't sleep alone.

84
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:47,829
That's pathetic.

85
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:50,832
You're pathetic.

86
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:55,337
At least my boyfriend's not
sleeping with some old slut!

87
00:04:58,089 --> 00:04:59,132
Which old slut?

88
00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:00,425
My mama.

89
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:03,178
So suck on that, mo-fo.

90
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:13,146
Hey.

91
00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:14,856
Regina Sinclair?

92
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,318
You're disgusting.

93
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,612
- How'd you...?
- Did you think I wouldn't find out?

94
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:23,156
Don't ever talk to me again.

95
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,118
Mag, Mag, Mag, I'm sorry.

96
00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:30,080
Oh, God!

97
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:37,295
- Hey, Bob, I was just about to call you.
- Care to explain this?

98
00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,173
I, uh...

99
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,634
Coralee left me
and it's all 'cause of you.

100
00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:46,888
Why on God's green earth
would you give this to Coralee?

101
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:51,810
- Were you trying to hurt me?
- No. No, I was trying to hurt Coralee.

102
00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:54,312
We really bonded
in the mother-daughter pageant

103
00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:57,190
and then she just totally blew me off.

104
00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:00,026
Like I didn't matter at all.

105
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:03,655
It's exactly what my own mom does to me
and she knew that.

106
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:06,616
Coralee knew that and
that's what made it a million times worse.

107
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:08,910
I wanted her to feel as bad as I did,

108
00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:11,580
but I didn't think about
how it would affect you. I'm so sorry.

109
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:15,917
I was trying to help you
and this is how you repay me.

110
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,878
This... This is not working.

111
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,380
Are you breaking up with me?

112
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:23,216
No, we cannot break up.
We are not a couple!

113
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:26,511
- Are you still gonna coach me?
- I don't... I don't know.

114
00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:27,637
I need you.

115
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:31,850
I just got disqualified from
Miss Magic Jesus for cyber-bullying.

116
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:35,604
- Somebody hacked my phone and...
- You need to deal with that yourself.

117
00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:39,357
I can't. I don't know how to do any of
this pageant stuff without you.

118
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,569
You and I, we were in this together.
We both needed a win.

119
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,696
Yeah, I just...
I need to figure out my life first.

120
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:45,780
Dad?

121
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:50,118
- What are you doing here?
- I needed to speak with Patty.

122
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:53,496
Maybe if you were a little less concerned
with pageants, Mom wouldn't have left.

123
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:54,956
You want to tell me what happened?

124
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,125
When I asked her,
she told me to talk to you.

125
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,127
Now is neither the time nor the place.

126
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:01,963
Yeah, right. Let me know when
you can work me into your schedule.

127
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:12,891
<i>It looked like I had hurt
more than just Bob's marriage.</i>

128
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,644
<i>I had hurt Brick too.</i>

129
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,772
Hey, Brick, I'm sorry.

130
00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:19,856
For what?

131
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:22,400
<i>I couldn't tell him
I blew up his parents' marriage.</i>

132
00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:25,946
For... taking time away
from you and your dad.

133
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:28,657
He and I have spent
a lot of time together lately.

134
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:31,576
Yeah, don't worry about it.
We don't spend any time together anyways.

135
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:33,745
- Really?
- Yeah.

136
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,914
All he cares about are his pageant girls.

137
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:38,750
I thought maybe if I was a winner too,
he might pay attention to me.

138
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,669
But I'm the number one wrestler
in my division,

139
00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:42,212
he hasn't been to one of my matches.

140
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,089
- That's horrible.
- Yeah, I'm used to it.

141
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:47,342
But as long as we're apologizing,
I'm sorry too...

142
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,052
for blowing you off when you asked me out.

143
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,389
- You remember that?
- Yeah.

144
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,975
I've been thinking about it
since you started working with my dad

145
00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:57,394
and I feel really bad for
how crappy I was to you.

146
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:58,645
Will you forgive me?

147
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,776
Cool, um... thanks.

148
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,786
Um... Oh!

149
00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:17,706
And now that you're gay, or whatever,

150
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:20,625
I do community service
at the LGBTQ Center.

151
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,335
- So if you ever want to come by...
- Sorry.

152
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,212
Uh, gay?

153
00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:26,339
Who said I was gay?

154
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,717
Um... everyone at school.

155
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:37,892
Do you know anything about this?

156
00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:40,228
People are saying
you and Dixie were together.

157
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:41,479
Like, sexually.

158
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,773
- What are you talking about?
- I guess it makes sense.

159
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,650
Why else would you have
pictures of her hoo-ha?

160
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:46,818
What?

161
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:49,821
People are saying you sent them out
because you're jealous of her and Choi.

162
00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:51,197
Oh, my God.

163
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,782
Hey, look on the bright side.

164
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,617
There's nothing wrong
with being a lesbian.

165
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,327
People don't think you're a cyber-bully.

166
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:57,787
Well, the pageant board still does.

167
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,873
Ugh... This sucks.

168
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:03,001
First, you got bullied for being fat
and now you're getting gay bashed.

169
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:04,461
Right, it's so stupid.

170
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:07,213
I'm not even gay
and even if I was, who should care?

171
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,841
Um, your new girlfriend might.

172
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:13,803
I'm not gay.

173
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:16,556
Why would you think I was gay?

174
00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,683
Didn't you say
there's nothing wrong with being gay?

175
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:19,893
Yeah, for you.

176
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,187
Whatever. I have bigger problems.

177
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:25,732
I got disqualified from Miss Magic Jesus
for sending out those Dixie pics,

178
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,025
which I didn't do.

179
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:30,487
Somebody must have hacked my phone.
So, now my pageant future is toast.

180
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:31,446
I can help.

181
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,282
What? Why?
Aren't I, like, your competition?

182
00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:36,868
Are you kidding?
It'd be amazing if you did win.

183
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:39,954
I am so over pageants
and if someone else beat me,

184
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:42,207
maybe my dad would finally let me quit.

185
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,959
Sit with me at lunch
and we'll figure everything out.

186
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:46,002
- Okay.
- Yeah.

187
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:58,306
I was reading the paper when I heard
a knock on the door. It was the police,

188
00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:00,016
who asked me about my son.

189
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,227
<i>Coralee still wasn't
returning my calls.</i>

190
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:07,065
<i>But this was my first case since Patty,
so I tried to focus.</i>

191
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:09,234
So imagine my surprise

192
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:12,695
when I found out my son had been arrested
for having drugs in his car.

193
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,031
I told you, they weren't mine.

194
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,742
I was holding them for Magnolia Barnard.
She asked me to.

195
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,536
Magnolia Barnard is on drugs?

196
00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:27,293
What's the charge?
Possession, distribution?

197
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:28,294
Possession.

198
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:30,213
Mm-hmm. And his first offense?

199
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:33,091
He'll probably get community service
and probation.

200
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:37,011
- It's all pretty straightforward.
- See. Now, can I go to school?

201
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:41,307
Go. But I expect you home
immediately afterwards.

202
00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:52,193
I know you, right?
I saw you talking to Patty this morning.

203
00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:56,239
Yeah? I'm her pageant coach, I think.

204
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:57,615
Oh.

205
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,159
Well, say hi from me.

206
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:07,876
He's a real charmer, my son.
With those eyes and that smile.

207
00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:09,544
He is a very handsome boy.

208
00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:11,379
He's a manipulative little shit!

209
00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:12,297
I'm sorry?

210
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,632
He even talked the cops
into believing that bullshit story

211
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:16,467
about Magnolia Barnard.

212
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:18,720
He's not holding, he's dealing.

213
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:22,432
He takes calls, runs errands
at all hours of the night.

214
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:25,810
All kinds of weird kids coming over
to our house for five minutes at a time.

215
00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:26,936
I know the signs.

216
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,938
Why are you telling me all this?

217
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:33,151
Because I'm at the end of my rope and
I think some jail time would do him good.

218
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:35,486
I want you to throw the case.

219
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:36,821
You want me to throw...?

220
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:40,700
That would be unethical.
Why would you think that I...?

221
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,994
Because Coralee said you would.

222
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:47,665
You see, I'm an Angel donor
at Coralee's service organization, Wombs.

223
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,835
And when she and I spoke, she told me

224
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:53,755
that you would do whatever it took
to fix things.

225
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:56,090
And I did my research,
your career is in the shitter.

226
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:58,551
It's not like you have
a reputation to protect.

227
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:02,805
<i>Coralee's subtext was
loud and clear.</i>

228
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:04,933
<i>Wombs was important to her</i>

229
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:08,228
<i>and this was a way to show her
that she was important to me.</i>

230
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:12,106
<i>Yes, it was unethical,
but so was my infidelity</i>

231
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:15,026
<i>and I was desperate to win back Coralee.</i>

232
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:18,196
<i>Desperate enough
to make a deal with the devil.</i>

233
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,573
<i>I am a victim!</i>

234
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:23,952
Attention! I am a victim!

235
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:28,039
Patty Bladell is a cyber-bully!

236
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:36,089
Lesbian bitch fight!

237
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:40,885
No, no, no, no! It is not!
It is just a regular bitch fight!

238
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:46,849
Dixie, get off me!

239
00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:52,897
Patty! Over here.

240
00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:57,318
Why are we sitting with Magnolia Barnard?

241
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,279
Because without Bob, I need her help.

242
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:03,783
Plus, Magnolia is awesome.
She's pretty and smart and nice.

243
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,451
I know, it's annoying.

244
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,120
Hey.

245
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:10,123
- Make room for Patty and her girlfriend.
- Friend, who's a girl.

246
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:11,332
That's what I said.

247
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,169
Dixie's the worst, right?

248
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:18,506
And she's living in my house.
It's a total disastrophe.

249
00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:20,633
Anyway, let's talk about
your pageant issues.

250
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:23,136
What you have is an image problem.

251
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:25,138
You need to worry about the pageant board.

252
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:27,390
We have to get them thinking
you're a good person,

253
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,726
someone who's deserving
of the Miss Magic Jesus crown.

254
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:33,146
- So, how do we do that?
<i>- </i>We need a multi-pronged approach.

255
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:36,232
First, we need to prove to them that
you didn't send out that picture of Dixie.

256
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,775
Figure out who hacked your phone.

257
00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:39,777
I could ask the guys
in Computer Club for help.

258
00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:40,695
Great idea.

259
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:44,157
In the meantime, we need to present you
as some one who's kind, charitable.

260
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,951
The kind of person who never would've
cyber-bullied in the first place.

261
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,788
Hmm... Do you have any philanthropy
on your resume?

262
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:53,249
Because most of the main competitors
for Miss Magic Jesus

263
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:56,085
have earned at least $5,000
for their respective charities.

264
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,170
Shit, really?

265
00:13:57,253 --> 00:14:00,298
You should choose a cause that has
something to do with your platform.

266
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:02,675
- Do you have one yet?
- A platform? Yeah.

267
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:05,470
It's something about being fat
and then not being fat.

268
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,973
Perfect. Awareness of eating
and body dysmorphic disorders.

269
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:13,686
You can raise money for the Northern
Georgia Eating Disorder Recovery Clinic.

270
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:17,190
- Oh, my God! You're really good at this.
- Now, we just need an event.

271
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,362
- Bikini car wash?
- Played out.

272
00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:25,365
- Dog adoption?
- Yawn.

273
00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:28,201
Bikini dog wash?

274
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:32,163
- Bikini dog wash?
- Bikini dog wash!

275
00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:34,707
Bikini dog wash!

276
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:38,044
Bikinis for girls recovering
from eating disorders...

277
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:40,421
- isn't that sort of...?
- Let's do it. This weekend?

278
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:43,341
Amazing. Patty, you talk to
the Computer Club about your phone.

279
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:46,260
I'll talk to Student Council about
getting a permit for this dog wash.

280
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:50,390
- And Nonnie, can you make a flyer?
- She'll totally do it. Right, Nonnie?

281
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:53,393
- Whatever you say.
- Okay, perfect.

282
00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:56,646
Okay, now that that's sorted,
how are we gonna get the word out?

283
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,731
First things first,
'cause it's all about promotion.

284
00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,025
Patty's losing her mind.

285
00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,361
"Oh. Magnolia's so awesome.

286
00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:05,822
Magnolia's so everything."

287
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:08,449
What's wrong?

288
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:11,077
Everything is always about Patty.

289
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,038
I'm such an idiot.
I should have known you were gay.

290
00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:16,457
Wait, what?

291
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,501
Everyone's saying
you and Patty are a couple.

292
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,336
What the hell, Choi?

293
00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:22,922
Did I seem gay
when your tongue was in my mouth?

294
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:26,175
No, but whenever we're together,
all you do is talk about her.

295
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,677
That is so not true.

296
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,847
It is true. And if you're into Patty,
it's totally cool,

297
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,599
but please, just be honest.

298
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:36,978
I am not into Patty.
I'm super annoyed at her.

299
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:39,856
Six months ago, Magnolia
wouldn't give her the time of day.

300
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,650
I'm the one who was there when
she ran out of Weight Watcher's points,

301
00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:45,027
when she ate birthday cake
out of the trash.

302
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:46,112
You sound jealous.

303
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:47,363
Seriously?

304
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:51,325
I just got out of a situation where I was
more into someone than they were into me.

305
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:55,329
So, when you figure your shit out,
let me know.

306
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,092
- Gentlemen.
- What?

307
00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:09,343
Oh, hi.

308
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:13,139
I need your help. Somebody hacked my phone
and leaked those pictures of Dixie.

309
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:16,851
- I need you to figure out who.
- Wait, what's in it for us?

310
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:18,603
Uh...

311
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:20,104
What do you want?

312
00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:21,856
- A date.
- With all of us.

313
00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:23,900
Collectively. Three.

314
00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:28,905
Gross. You can't just leverage me
like that, it's wrong.

315
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:32,492
Okay. Hey, was it wrong when you
showed your boobs to Donald Choi?

316
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,204
Yeah, it's a small town, people talk.

317
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:37,788
This was a bad idea.

318
00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:40,208
Hey, mystery girl, maybe I can help you.

319
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:45,046
Oh, no. That burnout over there
has no idea how to trace a hacker.

320
00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:47,840
Loser, what's it like to have sex
with a USB port?

321
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,052
Christian, how do you...?

322
00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:54,889
I've traveled the world with my dad,
spent most of my time in Internet cafes.

323
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,767
I met this guy in Brussels,
he took me under his wing,

324
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,143
taught me all about the dark web.

325
00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:01,395
So, you can help me?

326
00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:02,355
For a price.

327
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,276
- You're just as bad as they are.
- Not like that.

328
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,196
I need your help with something too.

329
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:14,367
I can trust you, right?

330
00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:17,161
I'm in trouble.

331
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:21,791
Last Saturday night,
I, uh, got arrested with drugs in my car.

332
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,503
My mom thinks I'm dealing, which I'm not.

333
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:27,880
And she wants my lawyer to throw the case,

334
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:30,091
because she thinks some jail time
would do me good.

335
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:31,676
That sucks.

336
00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:34,262
But I'm not sure how I can help you.

337
00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:36,556
My lawyer is your pageant coach.

338
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:40,476
I need you to help me convince him
to keep me out of jail.

339
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:42,353
You guys are close, right?

340
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,481
Not at the moment.

341
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,276
Besides, Bob would never throw a case.
It's unethical.

342
00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:50,778
Maybe you don't know him
as well as you think.

343
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,906
He definitely agreed to do it.
I heard my parents arguing about it.

344
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:58,035
So, can you talk to him for me?

345
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,913
I'm not sure he would listen.

346
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:03,416
Then I'm not sure if I can help you.

347
00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:10,715
<i>Christian was my only hope
at getting back into Miss Magic Jesus.</i>

348
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:14,260
<i>So even if it was a long shot,
I had to take my chances.</i>

349
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:15,636
Christian, wait!

350
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,350
<i>With a charge so small,</i>

351
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:24,562
<i>Christian was likely to get off
with a slap on the wrist,</i>

352
00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:27,690
<i>which would leave me
in the doghouse with Coralee.</i>

353
00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:32,361
<i>If I wanted Christian in jail,
I'd have to bat Barnard's beehive.</i>

354
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:35,615
<i>Luckily, I had an ace up my sleeve.</i>

355
00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,952
Patty, what are you doing?

356
00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:42,788
Look, Bob, I know you're mad at me,
but I need your help.

357
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:46,959
La, la, la! No, no, no! I have no time.
I'm on my way to a meeting.

358
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:49,754
Is it true you agreed to throw
Christian's case for his mom?

359
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:53,549
Why is that any of your business?

360
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:56,302
Because Christian said he can help me
figure out who hacked my phone,

361
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,429
but only if I convince you
to keep him out of jail.

362
00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,097
I am his attorney.

363
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:03,309
Obviously, I will do everything I can
to defend him.

364
00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:05,978
That's not what his mom said.

365
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,439
He overheard her saying that
you agreed to throw the case.

366
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:10,775
I had to, because of you.

367
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,944
- Wait, what?
- It's a favor for Coralee.

368
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:17,782
It's my best chance at getting her back
after the stunt you pulled.

369
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:23,788
So, if you'll excuse me, I have to go
swallow my pride and compromise my morals

370
00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:25,623
because of your bad judgment.

371
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:29,377
Wait... Wait, so you're not gonna help me?

372
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:30,920
What about Miss Magic Jesus?

373
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:34,548
Maybe you should have thought of that
before you decided to blow up my life.

374
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:40,721
Just so you know,
Brick thinks you don't care about him.

375
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:42,515
Excuse me?

376
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:44,558
After you left the school, we talked.

377
00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:47,186
He told me that all he wants is
for you to pay attention to him

378
00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:50,231
and you haven't even bothered to show up
to one of his wrestling matches.

379
00:19:52,066 --> 00:19:53,275
He said that?

380
00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:55,027
I...

381
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,779
I got to go see him.

382
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,449
<i>If there's one thing
Coralee and I would agree on,</i>

383
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:04,578
<i>it's that Brick was more important.
Barnard would have to wait.</i>

384
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:15,423
- What in the hell are you doing?
- My community service.

385
00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:19,468
I got caught texting and driving,
so they assigned me here.

386
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,303
I mean, that.

387
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:23,806
Oh, the director asked me
to paint over the slurs.

388
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:26,892
I'm pretty sure he meant
on the outside of the building.

389
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:32,982
I can't do anything right.

390
00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:36,068
Honey, it's just paint.

391
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,319
No, I am a mess.

392
00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:41,866
My girlfriend just broke up with me
because I slept with someone else's mom.

393
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:44,785
Well, why'd you cheat? Were you not happy?

394
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:48,581
I don't know.
I didn't really think about it.

395
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:52,001
Did she not make you laugh?
Could you talk to her?

396
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,253
All I know is, I hurt her
and I want to make it right.

397
00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:58,507
Sweetie, sometimes you can't
un-ring a bell.

398
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:03,554
I'm screwed. Bob hates me and if
I don't figure out who hacked my phone,

399
00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:05,264
I'm never gonna get into Miss Magic Jesus.

400
00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:07,391
Relax. One thing at a time.

401
00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:11,520
We'll work on your philanthropy
and then we'll work on clearing your name.

402
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:15,107
All thanks to Magnolia Barnard's
multi-pronged plan.

403
00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:16,776
Is something wrong?

404
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:18,319
Uh...

405
00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:22,490
At lunch... you just let Magnolia
boss me around.

406
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:25,910
I'm your best friend,
now you're just gonna up and ditch me

407
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:27,661
because Magnolia Barnard is so awesome.

408
00:21:27,745 --> 00:21:28,788
No, Nonnie.

409
00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:32,374
Look, no matter what happens,
you're still my number one.

410
00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:34,084
Good.

411
00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:39,006
Because I think the flyer I made for you
is also pretty freaking awesome.

412
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:42,593
Where'd you get
all those pictures of girls in bikinis?

413
00:21:43,219 --> 00:21:46,430
Uh, from a website,
which I've never been to before.

414
00:21:48,057 --> 00:21:49,975
God, I wish I looked that good
in a bikini.

415
00:21:50,601 --> 00:21:51,811
Have you seen yourself?

416
00:21:51,894 --> 00:21:53,479
Yeah, I'm thinner.

417
00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:57,191
I still have to lose 100 pounds before I'd
even think about getting into a bikini.

418
00:21:57,274 --> 00:21:59,944
Stop. Your body is banging.

419
00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:02,738
I'm still not gonna put on a bikini
in front of other people.

420
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,241
Uh, you kind of have to.

421
00:22:06,075 --> 00:22:09,078
It's your event. It won't look good
if you don't participate.

422
00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:11,914
- This is a catastrophe.
- It's not nuclear war.

423
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,040
I'll help you.

424
00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:16,418
- Patty told you that?
- Is it true?

425
00:22:16,710 --> 00:22:18,128
You think I don't care about you?

426
00:22:18,212 --> 00:22:19,672
What am I supposed to think?

427
00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:22,800
You don't ask me anything
about my life, my friends, school.

428
00:22:22,883 --> 00:22:25,678
- I don't know what to ask.
- You are proving my point.

429
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:29,056
Okay, yeah, we're nothing alike,
but I'm still your son,

430
00:22:29,139 --> 00:22:32,101
so you can't just... blow me off.

431
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:35,062
Oh, my God.

432
00:22:36,272 --> 00:22:37,439
Oh, my God.

433
00:22:38,148 --> 00:22:39,400
I'm doing it to you.

434
00:22:40,234 --> 00:22:41,652
The same thing he did to me.

435
00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:42,736
Who?

436
00:22:43,487 --> 00:22:45,948
My own dad.

437
00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:48,951
He wanted a wide receiver
and instead he got Henry Higgins.

438
00:22:49,785 --> 00:22:51,662
Higgins, is that like
a baseball player, or...?

439
00:22:51,745 --> 00:22:56,292
Lord, no!
It is only the most iconic character...

440
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,502
Okay, look, it doesn't matter.

441
00:23:00,629 --> 00:23:01,755
I'm sorry.

442
00:23:02,256 --> 00:23:05,801
I never meant to make
you feel the way I felt.

443
00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:10,556
And I'm so proud of you
and your accomplishments.

444
00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:12,516
How can I make it up to you?

445
00:23:14,143 --> 00:23:17,688
For starters, you can tell me
what happened between you and mom.

446
00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:32,077
Decades ago, before you were born,

447
00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:36,498
I had an affair...

448
00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:39,877
with my pageant-coaching mentor.

449
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:44,465
Your mom just found out about it
and she needs some time to think.

450
00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:46,842
Do you regret it?

451
00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:49,595
One-million percent.

452
00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:53,182
It was... It was a stupid, stupid mistake.

453
00:23:55,893 --> 00:23:57,144
Did you love her?

454
00:23:59,438 --> 00:24:03,108
I don't know.
Maybe, but I loved your mother more.

455
00:24:03,192 --> 00:24:04,443
Then why'd you cheat?

456
00:24:08,238 --> 00:24:12,117
It was a certain time,
it was a certain place.

457
00:24:12,201 --> 00:24:15,996
Stella Rose and I had mutual interests,
mutual goals.

458
00:24:17,373 --> 00:24:21,085
Also, there was a lot of drink
and she liked it rough

459
00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:23,796
and wanted to try some stuff
that your mama just wouldn't.

460
00:24:23,879 --> 00:24:27,257
Stop!
I did not want to know that.

461
00:24:27,341 --> 00:24:28,342
You asked.

462
00:24:28,425 --> 00:24:30,844
No, I was asking if you and mom
thought you could work it out.

463
00:24:31,845 --> 00:24:33,180
I am trying.

464
00:24:34,723 --> 00:24:35,557
How?

465
00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:42,147
The next time you talk to your mom,
tell her I'm doing what she asked,

466
00:24:42,231 --> 00:24:45,859
because I'm willing to do
whatever it takes to get her back, okay?

467
00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:48,612
Whatever, Dad.

468
00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:00,874
Patty?

469
00:25:01,834 --> 00:25:02,876
You okay?

470
00:25:04,294 --> 00:25:06,046
You've been in there for a while.

471
00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:12,261
Patty?

472
00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:15,389
I'm...

473
00:25:16,473 --> 00:25:17,683
I'm coming in.

474
00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:22,604
Oh, my God! What's wrong?

475
00:25:23,605 --> 00:25:24,565
I'm gross.

476
00:25:24,648 --> 00:25:26,692
No, you're not, you're beautiful.

477
00:25:26,775 --> 00:25:28,068
Mm-mm. I'm ugly.

478
00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:32,364
On the outside and on the inside.
I hurt Bob, I hurt you.

479
00:25:32,448 --> 00:25:33,699
I forgive you.

480
00:25:33,782 --> 00:25:35,784
Yeah, you shouldn't and he hasn't.

481
00:25:35,868 --> 00:25:37,369
Patty, stop!

482
00:25:37,995 --> 00:25:39,663
When you're mad at yourself
about something,

483
00:25:39,747 --> 00:25:41,957
- you always decide that you're fat.
- I am fat.

484
00:25:42,041 --> 00:25:45,294
I'm disgusting, and fat, and awful
and I don't deserve to live.

485
00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:47,463
Stop being mean to my best friend.

486
00:25:53,218 --> 00:25:55,637
You're the most beautiful person
I've ever met,

487
00:25:56,513 --> 00:25:58,182
even before you got thin.

488
00:26:00,809 --> 00:26:01,852
I don't see it.

489
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:07,149
Sometimes other people see things
in you that you can't see for yourself.

490
00:26:11,862 --> 00:26:13,322
Everyone thinks I'm gay.

491
00:26:15,199 --> 00:26:17,785
Including Donald Choi,
who I made out with.

492
00:26:18,535 --> 00:26:21,038
Wait, you made out with Choi?
You're not gay.

493
00:26:21,121 --> 00:26:23,791
And besides,
nobody knows you better than me.

494
00:26:23,874 --> 00:26:26,293
If you were gay, I would know, trust me.

495
00:26:30,881 --> 00:26:32,007
Trust me.

496
00:26:32,841 --> 00:26:34,468
You look amazing in that bikini.

497
00:26:36,470 --> 00:26:37,638
You should buy it.

498
00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:51,693
<i>I was willing to do whatever it took
to win Coralee back,</i>

499
00:26:51,777 --> 00:26:55,739
<i>even if it meant taking a meeting
with Bob Boy Barbie Barnard.</i>

500
00:26:56,907 --> 00:26:59,493
Do you have to do that right now?

501
00:26:59,576 --> 00:27:01,245
Sorry. When you said
you were gonna be late,

502
00:27:01,328 --> 00:27:03,580
I thought I could squeeze in
a quick workout.

503
00:27:04,748 --> 00:27:07,209
We need to talk about Christian Keene.

504
00:27:07,292 --> 00:27:11,088
Don't need to spend time or money going
to court, he's a first time offender.

505
00:27:11,171 --> 00:27:14,049
I'm happy to settle
for a nominal fine, probation.

506
00:27:14,133 --> 00:27:15,676
Absolutely.

507
00:27:15,926 --> 00:27:17,845
No reason to destroy two lives.

508
00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:20,597
Who's the other one?

509
00:27:21,140 --> 00:27:23,433
- Magnolia.
- What are you talking about?

510
00:27:23,517 --> 00:27:25,727
She's one of his clients.

511
00:27:25,811 --> 00:27:29,523
There is no way
that Magnolia is a drug user.

512
00:27:29,606 --> 00:27:31,024
She's a straight-A student.

513
00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:36,697
Well, have you noticed
any changes in her behavior recently?

514
00:27:40,159 --> 00:27:42,661
She has been saying that
she's over doing pageants.

515
00:27:43,662 --> 00:27:44,663
Classic sign.

516
00:27:45,164 --> 00:27:48,625
Apathy, losing interest
in something you used to love.

517
00:27:49,251 --> 00:27:52,421
If Christian's selling drugs,
he's a danger to all our kids.

518
00:27:52,504 --> 00:27:54,631
He should be behind bars,
I'm not settling.

519
00:27:54,715 --> 00:27:56,175
He's going to jail.

520
00:27:56,758 --> 00:27:59,803
Oh...

521
00:28:00,262 --> 00:28:03,599
My client will be so disappointed.

522
00:28:04,516 --> 00:28:05,851
You heard from Coralee?

523
00:28:06,935 --> 00:28:07,936
What?

524
00:28:08,645 --> 00:28:09,855
- Why?
- Eh...

525
00:28:09,938 --> 00:28:10,939
She called me.

526
00:28:11,023 --> 00:28:15,777
Said she needed a place to stay
while the two of you "figured things out."

527
00:28:15,861 --> 00:28:17,487
- She called you?
- Mm.

528
00:28:17,988 --> 00:28:19,531
Is she staying at your house?

529
00:28:19,615 --> 00:28:20,490
No.

530
00:28:20,574 --> 00:28:23,368
Let's just say I have some real estate.

531
00:28:23,994 --> 00:28:28,373
But she made me promise not to tell you
where she is and I respect her.

532
00:28:28,457 --> 00:28:30,000
Don't worry, she's safe.

533
00:28:30,292 --> 00:28:33,045
Now that she has a real man
looking out for her.

534
00:28:35,255 --> 00:28:36,715
Where is she?

535
00:28:38,300 --> 00:28:39,384
Easy, Bob.

536
00:28:41,762 --> 00:28:43,180
Fuck you, Bob.

537
00:28:43,555 --> 00:28:46,850
<i>Coralee had the gall to ask me
to compromise my ethics</i>

538
00:28:46,934 --> 00:28:51,730
<i>after she had gone to the one person
she knew I hated the most?</i>

539
00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:53,941
<i>It felt like a kick in the nuts.</i>

540
00:28:54,942 --> 00:28:58,278
<i>Forget throwing the case,
Coralee would have to understand,</i>

541
00:28:58,362 --> 00:29:00,530
<i>I couldn't abandon my pageant dreams.</i>

542
00:29:00,614 --> 00:29:04,493
<i>If I wanted a chance at being a winner,
I needed to find a way to help Patty.</i>

543
00:29:08,163 --> 00:29:10,874
You can wait in here.
My dad should be home any minute.

544
00:29:11,583 --> 00:29:12,417
Thanks.

545
00:29:15,587 --> 00:29:18,340
Listen, I know you talked to my dad
behind my back.

546
00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:19,841
That's not cool.

547
00:29:19,925 --> 00:29:21,426
I'm sorry.

548
00:29:22,636 --> 00:29:24,888
I just thought it was so messed up,
what you told me.

549
00:29:24,972 --> 00:29:27,975
And you made things worse.
He told me a bunch of inappropriate shit.

550
00:29:28,058 --> 00:29:31,019
It was just the most
uncomfortable conversation ever.

551
00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:33,939
At least a bad conversation
is better than no conversation.

552
00:29:35,357 --> 00:29:38,443
I'm not trying to defend myself,
I'm just saying I've never met my dad.

553
00:29:38,527 --> 00:29:40,237
So at least you two were talking.

554
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:43,115
And I would give anything
for one conversation with him,

555
00:29:43,198 --> 00:29:44,783
even an uncomfortable one.

556
00:29:46,034 --> 00:29:49,288
But that doesn't give me the right to
get all up in your business and I'm sorry.

557
00:29:49,371 --> 00:29:51,999
No, I'm sorry... about your dad.

558
00:29:52,082 --> 00:29:54,251
And I appreciate you
sticking up for me like that.

559
00:29:55,585 --> 00:29:59,339
I mean, you may have
actually helped, so...

560
00:30:01,383 --> 00:30:02,217
thank you.

561
00:30:06,221 --> 00:30:08,015
Do you want me
to sit with you while you wait?

562
00:30:08,098 --> 00:30:10,017
Or I could get you a soda, or...?

563
00:30:10,100 --> 00:30:13,145
Hey, Brick, Patty. I'm glad you're here.

564
00:30:14,604 --> 00:30:18,066
I'll, uh, let you two
get down to business.

565
00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:24,990
I want to help you get back
into Miss Magic Jesus.

566
00:30:26,742 --> 00:30:28,410
So, you're not still mad at me?

567
00:30:28,493 --> 00:30:30,829
I am. I'm just more mad at Coralee.

568
00:30:30,912 --> 00:30:32,122
Why? What did she do?

569
00:30:33,457 --> 00:30:34,499
It doesn't matter.

570
00:30:34,583 --> 00:30:37,753
From now on,
my personal life is off limits to you.

571
00:30:38,211 --> 00:30:40,505
The point is,
I want to win Christian's case.

572
00:30:40,589 --> 00:30:43,300
Great. Then he'll help me figure out
who hacked my phone.

573
00:30:43,383 --> 00:30:46,136
Now that I'm planning my bikini dog wash,
I'll look better to the board.

574
00:30:46,219 --> 00:30:47,304
Your bikini what?

575
00:30:47,387 --> 00:30:49,848
- Dog wash.
- What? Is that even a thing?

576
00:30:49,931 --> 00:30:52,267
It's a charity event
to add to my pageant resume.

577
00:30:52,351 --> 00:30:55,062
Why didn't you tell me I needed
a philanthropy to win Miss Magic Jesus?

578
00:30:55,145 --> 00:30:57,689
'Cause I was a little busy
proving you weren't a murderer

579
00:30:57,773 --> 00:31:00,359
and keeping you from ending up face down
in a puddle of chocolate!

580
00:31:02,944 --> 00:31:04,696
So, you'll win Christian's case?

581
00:31:04,780 --> 00:31:06,490
I've said I wanted to.

582
00:31:06,573 --> 00:31:10,118
The problem is, now Barnard knows
Christian sold drugs to Magnolia.

583
00:31:10,202 --> 00:31:12,037
He won't stop
till Christian is behind bars.

584
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:13,580
But Christian said he wasn't dealing.

585
00:31:13,663 --> 00:31:16,291
Can't you get Magnolia to testify
he was just holding them for her?

586
00:31:17,751 --> 00:31:18,835
No.

587
00:31:18,919 --> 00:31:21,713
But you may have just figured out
a way to keep Christian out of jail.

588
00:31:24,174 --> 00:31:27,886
Why are you helping Patty Bladell with
her stupid eating disorder fundraiser?

589
00:31:27,969 --> 00:31:30,347
You are a horrible gremlin. Please leave.

590
00:31:32,516 --> 00:31:34,142
That bikini makes you look fat.

591
00:31:38,563 --> 00:31:40,065
Dixie, what part of...?

592
00:31:40,273 --> 00:31:41,566
What the hell are these?

593
00:31:43,402 --> 00:31:45,028
You can't search my room
without a warrant.

594
00:31:45,112 --> 00:31:48,573
I certainly can, as your father.
Are you doing this to get back at me?

595
00:31:49,533 --> 00:31:50,492
For what?

596
00:31:50,951 --> 00:31:53,328
Forcing me to do pageants
when I told you I was done?

597
00:31:53,912 --> 00:31:55,956
Inviting a pocket-sized Satan
to live in our house,

598
00:31:56,039 --> 00:31:58,417
without considering for one second
how that might affect me?

599
00:31:58,500 --> 00:32:01,711
Or for not telling me that my boyfriend
was cheating on me?

600
00:32:01,795 --> 00:32:03,839
No, do not turn this around.

601
00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:06,299
This is serious.
You are screwing up your life.

602
00:32:06,383 --> 00:32:09,261
Don't you mean
I'm screwing up your reputation?

603
00:32:09,344 --> 00:32:11,721
- This isn't about me.
- Of course it is.

604
00:32:11,805 --> 00:32:15,100
I am so tired
of having to be perfect all the time.

605
00:32:17,144 --> 00:32:19,771
I can't make a mistake,
I can't get a bad grade.

606
00:32:19,855 --> 00:32:23,316
I can't even leave my room without
looking like I'm off to a fashion shoot.

607
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:26,403
I am so over being Magnolia Barnard.

608
00:32:34,578 --> 00:32:36,163
All right. I understand.

609
00:32:37,581 --> 00:32:43,128
It's hard having to keep up
the Barnard image all the time.

610
00:32:44,004 --> 00:32:46,256
And mom is away from home so much.

611
00:32:47,132 --> 00:32:49,092
Come on, we got to be a team, huh?

612
00:32:49,426 --> 00:32:51,595
Come on. Come here.

613
00:32:52,345 --> 00:32:54,139
I'm here for you, Magnolia.

614
00:32:54,848 --> 00:33:00,520
Okay? And I promise, we will win
Miss Magic Jesus and Miss American Lady

615
00:33:00,604 --> 00:33:02,606
and then we'll get you
whatever help you need.

616
00:33:02,689 --> 00:33:05,025
Hmm?

617
00:33:05,108 --> 00:33:06,193
Who's that?

618
00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:12,073
I got to go take care of this, sweetheart,
but I'm glad we talked.

619
00:33:18,455 --> 00:33:21,082
What's this about?
You gonna try to beat me up again?

620
00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:24,836
Oh, no, I am sorry about that.

621
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:28,924
And since you were kind enough
to give me the heads up about Coralee,

622
00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:31,301
I wanted to give you a heads up
about Magnolia.

623
00:33:31,384 --> 00:33:32,469
- Another one?
- Mm-hm.

624
00:33:32,552 --> 00:33:36,973
I've complied a short list of witnesses
for Christian Keene's case

625
00:33:37,057 --> 00:33:39,684
and I wanted to warn ya,
Magnolia is on it.

626
00:33:40,936 --> 00:33:41,770
Wait, what?

627
00:33:41,853 --> 00:33:45,565
Well, Christian insists that
he was holding drugs for her...

628
00:33:45,649 --> 00:33:48,568
and that makes her the only person
that can attest to the fact that

629
00:33:48,652 --> 00:33:50,570
he didn't have any intent to distribute.

630
00:33:50,654 --> 00:33:52,656
Now you said he sold her those drugs.

631
00:33:52,739 --> 00:33:55,367
Do you really want her
to say that from the stand?

632
00:33:56,117 --> 00:33:59,996
I know how damaging that can be,
what with Miss Magic Jesus coming up,

633
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:03,083
but some things are not preventable.

634
00:34:03,291 --> 00:34:06,169
So, I just wanted to let you know,

635
00:34:06,253 --> 00:34:09,839
'cause I know you would do
the same thing for me.

636
00:34:10,632 --> 00:34:11,841
Mm-hm.

637
00:34:13,051 --> 00:34:16,555
What would you say to a nominal fine
and community service?

638
00:34:18,306 --> 00:34:20,767
What do you mean, you can't figure out
who hacked Patty's phone?

639
00:34:20,850 --> 00:34:22,310
That was your end of the deal!

640
00:34:22,394 --> 00:34:24,563
I'm sorry, it's a sophisticated hack.

641
00:34:24,646 --> 00:34:28,149
Whoever had it out for Patty
is some kind of criminal mastermind.

642
00:34:28,233 --> 00:34:30,193
Ugh. Bullshit, you played me.

643
00:34:30,819 --> 00:34:32,696
Maybe you shouldn't have trusted
a drug dealer.

644
00:34:34,656 --> 00:34:35,991
I can't believe you.

645
00:34:36,533 --> 00:34:38,702
You took advantage of me
because you knew I liked you.

646
00:34:38,785 --> 00:34:39,911
I didn't know...

647
00:34:41,663 --> 00:34:42,706
until now.

648
00:34:43,665 --> 00:34:45,417
Thanks for keeping me out of jail.

649
00:34:50,255 --> 00:34:52,632
There has to be another way
to figure out who hacked my phone.

650
00:34:52,716 --> 00:34:55,302
Maybe there is. Christian is right.

651
00:34:55,385 --> 00:34:58,096
There is at least one criminal
who has it out for you.

652
00:34:58,179 --> 00:35:00,515
Or, more accurately, for us.

653
00:35:02,601 --> 00:35:03,685
Regina.

654
00:35:03,768 --> 00:35:08,607
Now, she is no mastermind, but she is
certainly in jail surrounded by a few.

655
00:35:09,190 --> 00:35:12,027
I can call over there
and see if Regina's in close proximity

656
00:35:12,110 --> 00:35:13,862
to any tech-savvy criminals.

657
00:35:19,326 --> 00:35:22,621
Oh, I like that.
Oh, I like that a lot.

658
00:35:24,331 --> 00:35:26,374
Wait, what are you...?

659
00:35:27,667 --> 00:35:28,752
Hello?

660
00:35:30,545 --> 00:35:31,713
It's for you.

661
00:35:32,005 --> 00:35:35,759
Oh! I hope you don't mind,
I gave my daughter this number.

662
00:35:36,176 --> 00:35:38,011
- Hello.
- Hi, Mama.

663
00:35:38,094 --> 00:35:40,388
Hi, baby. How's everything going?

664
00:35:40,472 --> 00:35:41,723
Not good.

665
00:35:41,806 --> 00:35:44,267
Everyone's been talking about my wigwam.

666
00:35:44,351 --> 00:35:46,936
<i>Well, what did you think would happen?</i>

667
00:35:47,020 --> 00:35:49,814
Sending out that picture was your idea.

668
00:35:49,898 --> 00:35:52,567
Yeah, to get Patty disqualified.

669
00:35:52,651 --> 00:35:55,195
But I figured everyone
would just think I'm a slut.

670
00:35:55,278 --> 00:35:58,073
Now they think I'm a lesbian
and that's way worse.

671
00:35:58,156 --> 00:35:59,949
Oh, honey.

672
00:36:00,283 --> 00:36:02,494
Everyone's a little gay.

673
00:36:02,744 --> 00:36:05,163
Besides, you should be grateful.

674
00:36:05,246 --> 00:36:08,708
It is a gift from God that my cellmate
happens to be a cyber-terrorist

675
00:36:08,792 --> 00:36:11,961
and she was able to hack
into Patty's phone.

676
00:36:12,587 --> 00:36:16,966
And you have no idea
what she made me do for payment.

677
00:36:20,095 --> 00:36:21,096
<i>Sorry, baby. I got to run.</i>

678
00:36:23,390 --> 00:36:24,224
Four.

679
00:36:24,766 --> 00:36:25,684
Five!

680
00:36:26,226 --> 00:36:27,102
- Six.
- Shelby!

681
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:28,353
Got you a visitor.

682
00:36:29,646 --> 00:36:30,480
Done.

683
00:36:31,106 --> 00:36:34,442
<i>I pulled a favor with one of
the ladies who works admin at the prison.</i>

684
00:36:34,526 --> 00:36:36,736
<i>We swapped fashion tips for information.</i>

685
00:36:37,570 --> 00:36:40,990
<i>Lo and behold,
there was a cyber-terrorist in residence</i>

686
00:36:41,074 --> 00:36:46,246
<i>who happened to be cellmates
with none other than Regina Sinclair.</i>

687
00:36:46,871 --> 00:36:47,831
I'm Bob Armstrong.

688
00:36:49,999 --> 00:36:53,253
I, uh... I'm pretty sure
there's no touching allowed.

689
00:36:53,336 --> 00:36:54,796
But Ramon likes to watch.

690
00:36:55,630 --> 00:36:59,342
I've had my tired-of-bars and convicted-
to-love profiles up for over a year

691
00:36:59,426 --> 00:37:02,137
and I even hacked myself
onto the front page of both,

692
00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:04,264
and you're the first man to respond.

693
00:37:05,056 --> 00:37:06,725
Actually, I'm an attorney.

694
00:37:06,808 --> 00:37:08,017
Oh, well, good for you.

695
00:37:08,101 --> 00:37:09,644
Ramon, get us in the mood.

696
00:37:10,145 --> 00:37:13,231
Wait, what are you doing? Stop! Stop it!

697
00:37:13,857 --> 00:37:16,484
You want to peel the banana yourself?
That's even hotter.

698
00:37:16,568 --> 00:37:17,777
No. No peeling!

699
00:37:18,653 --> 00:37:20,238
I am here on business.

700
00:37:20,321 --> 00:37:22,198
- This isn't a conjugal?
- No.

701
00:37:24,033 --> 00:37:28,413
I know you hacked my client's cell phone
on behalf of Regina Sinclair.

702
00:37:28,496 --> 00:37:31,875
It is only a matter of time
before I have proof.

703
00:37:31,958 --> 00:37:33,960
Well, good luck with that.

704
00:37:34,043 --> 00:37:36,546
'Cause I'm a hacker,
I always cover my tracks.

705
00:37:36,629 --> 00:37:38,548
Shelby, I need your help.

706
00:37:38,965 --> 00:37:43,011
Those photos have wreaked havoc
on an innocent young girl's life.

707
00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:44,888
I used to be young too.

708
00:37:44,971 --> 00:37:46,723
And now I'm drying up like a prune.

709
00:37:46,806 --> 00:37:49,017
I might be able to help with that.

710
00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:50,894
That is, if you confess.

711
00:37:50,977 --> 00:37:52,812
I can't confess.

712
00:37:52,896 --> 00:37:56,191
I only got two weeks left on my sentence.
I can't risk not getting out.

713
00:37:56,775 --> 00:37:59,068
What if you pinned it on Regina Sinclair?

714
00:37:59,861 --> 00:38:01,738
And then you'll give me what I want?

715
00:38:04,491 --> 00:38:06,868
<i>I wasn't sure
I could go through with it.</i>

716
00:38:07,368 --> 00:38:10,246
<i>But my pageant-coaching future
was at stake.</i>

717
00:38:10,914 --> 00:38:13,541
<i>So, I did what I had to do.</i>

718
00:38:17,253 --> 00:38:18,713
I look like a lady.

719
00:38:19,255 --> 00:38:20,381
Give me your burner.

720
00:38:20,465 --> 00:38:24,844
<i>In both my legal and pageant careers,
I'd never worked harder on a client,</i>

721
00:38:24,928 --> 00:38:27,555
<i>but the results were spectacular.</i>

722
00:38:27,639 --> 00:38:28,556
Mmm...

723
00:38:29,015 --> 00:38:32,018
Maybe don't smile. It's more mysterious.

724
00:38:34,896 --> 00:38:39,526
Online dating is just like a pageant,
you got to put your best face forward.

725
00:38:39,609 --> 00:38:41,861
As soon as you upload that photo,
I promise,

726
00:38:41,945 --> 00:38:44,155
you are gonna have conjugals up the wazoo.

727
00:38:44,739 --> 00:38:46,866
How'd you know I like it up there?

728
00:39:10,223 --> 00:39:12,600
<i>With Bob on the case
of who hacked my phone,</i>

729
00:39:12,684 --> 00:39:15,019
<i>I could turn my focus back to my dog wash.</i>

730
00:39:16,187 --> 00:39:19,524
<i>Magnolia and her friends looked like
they were having so much fun.</i>

731
00:39:19,941 --> 00:39:22,443
<i>I can't imagine feeling that comfortable
in my own skin.</i>

732
00:39:23,111 --> 00:39:24,153
Why aren't you in a bikini?

733
00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:27,782
- Ladies!
- Oh, this can't be good.

734
00:39:27,866 --> 00:39:29,951
Y'all need to stay hydrated
and protect yourselves

735
00:39:30,034 --> 00:39:32,453
from those cancer-causing "Oove" rays.

736
00:39:32,996 --> 00:39:34,956
Dixie, what are you doing here?

737
00:39:35,039 --> 00:39:40,003
Oh, you know, letting bygones be bygones.
Let me rub sunscreen on your back.

738
00:39:41,588 --> 00:39:44,716
Dixie, you're here.
I was hoping for a little better turnout.

739
00:39:46,551 --> 00:39:49,262
You know what gets more attention
than girls in bikinis?

740
00:39:49,345 --> 00:39:52,307
Girls in bikinis
rubbing oil on each other.

741
00:39:54,350 --> 00:39:56,019
I mean, she's not wrong.

742
00:39:56,352 --> 00:39:58,479
Are you sure we should,
like, sexualize ourselves?

743
00:39:58,563 --> 00:40:00,565
Yeah, it's for a good cause, girl.

744
00:40:01,399 --> 00:40:05,528
Ladies, grab your sunscreen.
We are going live! Whoo!

745
00:40:06,154 --> 00:40:07,196
Yes!

746
00:40:07,655 --> 00:40:11,284
Yes. Get all good and oiled up.
You go, girl.

747
00:40:13,870 --> 00:40:15,163
Patty, where's your suit?

748
00:40:15,246 --> 00:40:17,582
This is your event. Get in on this, girl.

749
00:40:19,125 --> 00:40:20,627
The camera adds ten pounds.

750
00:40:21,085 --> 00:40:24,047
- I thought I can do this, I can't do this.
- Yes, you can.

751
00:40:24,130 --> 00:40:26,090
It's all in your head. Be brave.

752
00:40:26,174 --> 00:40:28,801
Screw brave, I want to be thinner.

753
00:40:31,095 --> 00:40:34,599
Oh my God! Brick is here,
with the world's tiniest dog.

754
00:40:34,682 --> 00:40:36,476
I can't let him see me in a bikini.

755
00:40:38,144 --> 00:40:40,939
Excuse me. How much for a deluxe wash
and a second chance?

756
00:40:41,022 --> 00:40:42,982
Isn't that dog a little young?

757
00:40:43,441 --> 00:40:45,401
I thought you were into older bitches.

758
00:40:46,986 --> 00:40:48,363
Get out of my face.

759
00:40:52,367 --> 00:40:53,284
Bye.

760
00:40:54,744 --> 00:40:56,871
It's slobbering all over me!

761
00:41:00,041 --> 00:41:02,293
Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait.

762
00:41:03,878 --> 00:41:05,171
No. No, down!

763
00:41:06,339 --> 00:41:07,799
Ew! Stop it, get off!

764
00:41:08,967 --> 00:41:09,842
Get off!

765
00:41:09,926 --> 00:41:11,678
Oh, my God! It's like dogmageddon!

766
00:41:16,724 --> 00:41:18,101
Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no.

767
00:41:23,314 --> 00:41:24,273
Get off!

768
00:41:24,357 --> 00:41:25,566
Wait. Come back. No.

769
00:41:27,819 --> 00:41:30,446
SPF meat, bitches!

770
00:41:33,157 --> 00:41:34,659
What happened?

771
00:41:35,785 --> 00:41:38,746
That stupid tritch spiked our sunscreen
with bacon grease.

772
00:41:39,372 --> 00:41:40,498
Tritch.

773
00:41:40,957 --> 00:41:42,792
Troll plus bitch, I like.

774
00:41:43,376 --> 00:41:44,794
Screw this, I'm out!

775
00:41:47,380 --> 00:41:48,423
Well, great.

776
00:41:48,506 --> 00:41:51,801
Now my chances of winning
Miss Magic Jesus have gone to shit.

777
00:41:53,636 --> 00:41:57,473
- Anything I can do to help?
- Wanna put on a bikini and wash 50 dogs?

778
00:41:59,308 --> 00:42:03,271
Uh, no.
But I do know some ladies who might.

779
00:42:05,148 --> 00:42:06,190
One second.

780
00:42:13,740 --> 00:42:15,908
You threw me under the bus,
you cyber-slut.

781
00:42:15,992 --> 00:42:18,202
I didn't hack Patty's phone, you did!

782
00:42:18,453 --> 00:42:21,414
No! Stop it, I just got a makeover!

783
00:42:21,497 --> 00:42:23,708
Oh, yeah, pretty lady? Yeah?

784
00:42:24,125 --> 00:42:26,919
Who's pretty now? Bitch!

785
00:42:27,003 --> 00:42:29,005
You like your little hair, Pretty Pony?

786
00:42:29,505 --> 00:42:32,759
Oh, I'll show you pretty!
I'll show you pretty!

787
00:42:51,694 --> 00:42:52,904
Who are they?

788
00:42:52,987 --> 00:42:54,822
How does Brick know them?

789
00:42:54,906 --> 00:42:56,824
Where did they get their shoes?

790
00:42:56,908 --> 00:42:58,493
I can't believe Brick did this.

791
00:42:58,826 --> 00:43:00,953
Maybe he does deserve a second chance.

792
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:04,832
Patty? These are my friends
from the LGBTQ Center.

793
00:43:05,416 --> 00:43:07,210
They've been tweeting
about it on the way over.

794
00:43:07,293 --> 00:43:08,461
It's gonna be huge.

795
00:43:09,087 --> 00:43:12,381
Brick, this is amazing. Thank you.

796
00:43:24,018 --> 00:43:27,730
I got to admit,
the Brick Armstrong I know,

797
00:43:27,814 --> 00:43:32,610
does not hang out with LGBTQ people
or help girls with eating disorders.

798
00:43:33,569 --> 00:43:34,987
Maybe I misjudged you.

799
00:43:36,864 --> 00:43:40,868
Yeah, well, Patty's cool and smart
and a really good person, so...

800
00:43:42,036 --> 00:43:43,746
Wait, you did this for Patty?

801
00:43:43,830 --> 00:43:45,039
Yeah, it's her charity.

802
00:43:45,123 --> 00:43:46,874
But I helped plan it.

803
00:43:47,792 --> 00:43:52,296
I thought you did this for me, as,
like, a grand gesture to win me back.

804
00:43:52,380 --> 00:43:53,214
Seriously?

805
00:43:53,297 --> 00:43:56,342
Patty is out here trying to help people
and you're thinking of yourself.

806
00:43:58,344 --> 00:44:02,431
Wow, if you think Patty's so cool,
you can hang out with her.

807
00:44:03,099 --> 00:44:04,267
I'm going home.

808
00:44:06,269 --> 00:44:09,230
Ladies, let's get fur-ocious!

809
00:44:37,592 --> 00:44:40,344
<i>It was my event
and I still felt left out.</i>

810
00:44:41,095 --> 00:44:42,722
<i>It was a bikini dog wash</i>

811
00:44:42,805 --> 00:44:45,725
<i>and I still couldn't bring myself
to put on that bikini.</i>

812
00:44:52,773 --> 00:44:53,816
Hey.

813
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:56,319
Are you with the LGBTQ Center?

814
00:44:57,528 --> 00:44:58,738
What gave it away?

815
00:45:01,157 --> 00:45:02,116
When...?

816
00:45:04,202 --> 00:45:07,121
When did you know you were someone who...

817
00:45:08,831 --> 00:45:11,626
goes to the LGBTQ Center?

818
00:45:15,713 --> 00:45:16,756
Uh...

819
00:45:17,882 --> 00:45:21,260
I think I always knew,
but I kept trying to convince myself

820
00:45:21,344 --> 00:45:25,306
that it was just, like,
regular 15-year-old girl stuff, you know.

821
00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:27,975
Like, before I realized
<i>Heavenly Creatures</i> is a gay movie.

822
00:45:28,059 --> 00:45:30,269
- It is?
- Yeah, dude.

823
00:45:30,353 --> 00:45:33,105
Melanie Lynskey
is in love with Kate Winslet.

824
00:45:33,606 --> 00:45:37,151
And I was obsessed with my best friend.

825
00:45:37,526 --> 00:45:39,946
Totally jealous when
she got her first boyfriend,

826
00:45:40,029 --> 00:45:41,864
but I didn't think that made me gay.

827
00:45:42,323 --> 00:45:47,119
And then I saw her making out with a guy
and I wanted to die.

828
00:45:48,412 --> 00:45:49,872
That's when I knew.

829
00:45:58,839 --> 00:46:00,258
I do that too.

830
00:46:01,801 --> 00:46:04,887
I get stuck in the mirror,
looking at my body,

831
00:46:05,888 --> 00:46:07,223
wishing it were different.

832
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:09,725
You have an amazing body.

833
00:46:10,268 --> 00:46:11,352
So do you.

834
00:46:12,770 --> 00:46:16,065
I... I used to be fat.

835
00:46:17,024 --> 00:46:18,359
I used to be a guy.

836
00:46:18,609 --> 00:46:19,902
Shit, really?

837
00:46:20,319 --> 00:46:25,574
Well, no. I mean, I've always been a girl,
I just had the body of a guy.

838
00:46:27,034 --> 00:46:28,369
I'm trans.

839
00:46:28,661 --> 00:46:31,497
If anyone understands feeling
uncomfortable in their own skin,

840
00:46:32,373 --> 00:46:33,457
it's me.

841
00:46:34,750 --> 00:46:38,379
I thought once I had my surgery,
I'd feel better about myself.

842
00:46:39,755 --> 00:46:42,258
I'm still not comfortable
wearing a bathing suit.

843
00:46:44,135 --> 00:46:48,222
I keep thinking there's gonna be a day
where I feel female enough.

844
00:46:49,765 --> 00:46:50,933
Yeah.

845
00:46:51,434 --> 00:46:55,104
I think I'll feel thin enough
when I lose another ten pounds.

846
00:46:56,355 --> 00:47:00,484
I just... keep wishing I looked perfect.

847
00:47:03,446 --> 00:47:08,117
Sometimes I wonder if
I'm gonna spend the rest of my life

848
00:47:08,617 --> 00:47:09,994
waiting for it to start.

849
00:47:11,746 --> 00:47:12,705
Me too.

850
00:47:15,166 --> 00:47:16,167
Maybe we don't have to.

851
00:47:35,853 --> 00:47:37,355
I feel so...

852
00:47:37,772 --> 00:47:38,606
Free.

853
00:47:38,689 --> 00:47:40,358
No, I was gonna say
totally self-conscious.

854
00:47:40,441 --> 00:47:41,817
- Thank God, me too.
- Okay.

855
00:47:41,901 --> 00:47:43,527
- Baby steps.
- Baby steps.

856
00:47:44,195 --> 00:47:45,196
Patty.

857
00:47:47,615 --> 00:47:49,283
Uh, hey, I'll catch up with you.

858
00:47:52,286 --> 00:47:54,538
This is amazing. I'm proud of you.

859
00:47:56,707 --> 00:47:58,209
Does that mean you forgive me?

860
00:47:58,834 --> 00:48:00,169
It means I understand, yes.

861
00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:04,924
Nobody's perfect.
Not you, not me, not Coralee.

862
00:48:05,591 --> 00:48:08,219
Believe me,
you did a really messed up thing,

863
00:48:08,844 --> 00:48:10,596
but also,
you're trying to make things right.

864
00:48:10,679 --> 00:48:12,640
Your heart's in the right place.

865
00:48:12,765 --> 00:48:14,809
And I know you'd never
hurt anyone on purpose.

866
00:48:15,393 --> 00:48:17,770
Well, the homeless guy. And Coralee.

867
00:48:18,813 --> 00:48:20,022
Don't make me change my mind.

868
00:48:21,399 --> 00:48:24,443
Regina Sinclair hacked your phone,
I got proof.

869
00:48:24,527 --> 00:48:27,863
I alerted the Miss Magic Jesus Board.
So you're back in.

870
00:48:27,947 --> 00:48:30,241
Oh, my God. Thank you.

871
00:48:30,366 --> 00:48:31,283
Dad!

872
00:48:31,367 --> 00:48:33,953
I talked to Mom and she said
whatever you were doing to fix things,

873
00:48:34,036 --> 00:48:35,996
you screwed up, so, good job.

874
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:39,166
Yeah, maybe tell your mother,
if she hadn't gone running to...

875
00:48:40,042 --> 00:48:42,002
You know what? Never mind.

876
00:48:42,086 --> 00:48:44,380
Your mother and I
have a lot to work through.

877
00:48:44,463 --> 00:48:45,798
It's best you don't get involved.

878
00:48:45,881 --> 00:48:48,050
There's no reason
to put you in the middle.

879
00:48:49,135 --> 00:48:52,680
Bob, again, I'm truly sorry.

880
00:48:53,848 --> 00:48:57,184
Just win Miss Magic Jesus,
Miss American Lady

881
00:48:57,268 --> 00:49:01,439
and then maybe we can both make
all this worth the trouble.

882
00:49:03,899 --> 00:49:05,025
Uh, hey, Brick.

883
00:49:07,445 --> 00:49:08,279
You okay?

884
00:49:09,905 --> 00:49:11,365
I mean, no, but yeah.

885
00:49:13,784 --> 00:49:16,287
You saved my ass today. Thank you.

886
00:49:16,370 --> 00:49:20,583
Thank you... for caring about me
enough to talk with my dad.

887
00:49:24,879 --> 00:49:26,755
So, maybe you could, like,
take me out to coffee?

888
00:49:26,839 --> 00:49:28,674
Say thank you for earlier, you know.

889
00:49:29,175 --> 00:49:30,301
Like a date.

890
00:49:32,094 --> 00:49:35,181
I get it. I'm thinner now,
so you're suddenly interested.

891
00:49:35,723 --> 00:49:36,682
No!

892
00:49:37,349 --> 00:49:41,312
I mean, you... you look great,
but I really like talking to you.

893
00:49:42,104 --> 00:49:45,733
I've said more to you in the last few days
than I've said to Magnolia in a year.

894
00:49:47,151 --> 00:49:50,362
Which is weird for me, because usually,
when I like talking to someone,

895
00:49:52,907 --> 00:49:54,366
I don't also want to do this.

896
00:50:04,168 --> 00:50:06,921
Yeah, I definitely want to do that too.


