1 00:00:03,467 --> 00:00:07,534 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:38,834 HELLO, IS THAT THE WHOLESOME BAKERY? 3 00:00:40,267 --> 00:00:42,834 NOW TELL ME-- AND I SHALL KNOW IF YOU'RE LYING-- 4 00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:47,133 ARE YOUR FRESH CREAM CAKES REALLY FRESH? 5 00:00:47,133 --> 00:00:49,300 THERE'S NO NEED TO TAKE THAT ATTITUDE. 6 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:51,534 THIS IS A SERIOUS CUSTOMER INQUIRY. 7 00:00:51,534 --> 00:00:54,000 MY NAME IS "BOUQUET," 8 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,234 B-U-C-K-E-T. 9 00:00:57,234 --> 00:01:00,968 NO, IT'S NOT BUCKET, IT'S "BOUQUET." 10 00:01:00,968 --> 00:01:05,734 I WISH TO PLACE A LARGE ORDER, A VERY IMPORTANT ORDER. 11 00:01:05,734 --> 00:01:07,934 I HAVE THE NEW VICAR CALLING THIS AFTERNOON 12 00:01:07,934 --> 00:01:09,934 FOR TEA AND LIGHT REFRESHMENTS. 13 00:01:09,934 --> 00:01:12,167 HOW SOON CAN YOU DELIVER? 14 00:01:12,167 --> 00:01:14,734 YES, I KNOW IT'S SATURDAY, 15 00:01:14,734 --> 00:01:17,133 AND I'M VERY HAPPY THAT YOU'RE BUSY. 16 00:01:17,133 --> 00:01:20,834 I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT YOU DON'T DELIVER JUST ANYWHERE, 17 00:01:20,834 --> 00:01:22,834 THE NEW VICAR 18 00:01:22,834 --> 00:01:24,868 COMING FOR TEA AND LIGHT REFRESHMENTS, 19 00:01:24,868 --> 00:01:28,234 AND I WANT SIX FRESH CREAM CAKES. 20 00:01:29,801 --> 00:01:32,067 THAT IS A LARGE ORDER. 21 00:01:33,501 --> 00:01:35,200 HELLO? 22 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:37,567 HELLO? 23 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,000 HOI POLLOI. 24 00:01:43,534 --> 00:01:45,067 ( grunts ) 25 00:01:47,934 --> 00:01:49,734 ( groans ) 26 00:01:52,467 --> 00:01:55,701 I WISH YOU WOULDN'T RAISE YOUR ARMS LIKE THAT, RICHARD, 27 00:01:55,701 --> 00:01:59,701 NOT WHEN YOU'RE OVERHEATED. IT'S VERY COMMON OUT OF DOORS. 28 00:01:59,701 --> 00:02:01,801 IT'S WARM WORK, HYACINTH. 29 00:02:01,801 --> 00:02:03,801 TO PERSPIRE, 30 00:02:03,801 --> 00:02:06,267 I WISH YOU'D GO INTO THE BACK GARDEN, 31 00:02:06,267 --> 00:02:09,234 SO AS NOT TO DISTURB THE PEOPLE WHO RESPECT US SOCIALLY. 32 00:02:09,234 --> 00:02:12,868 I DIDN'T INVENT THE HUMAN COOLING SYSTEM. 33 00:02:12,868 --> 00:02:15,434 WE MUSTN'T ABUSE IT, MUST WE, DEAR? 34 00:02:19,234 --> 00:02:22,734 WHY ARE MY ROSES NOT AS BIG AS THOSE NEXT DOOR? 35 00:02:22,734 --> 00:02:26,834 MAYBE THEY'RE A DIFFERENT VARIETY? 36 00:02:26,834 --> 00:02:30,234 I DON'T LIKE OUR ROSES NOT BEING AS BIG AS THOSE NEXT DOOR. 37 00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:32,100 ARE YOU NEGLECTING THEM, RICHARD? 38 00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:36,501 I WANTED THE VICAR TO BE GREETED BY A BLAZE 39 00:02:36,501 --> 00:02:38,300 OF PETALED GLORY. 40 00:02:38,300 --> 00:02:42,167 THIS TYPE ONLY GROWS TO THIS SIZE, HYACINTH. 41 00:02:42,167 --> 00:02:44,534 I'M SURE IF YOU TRIED HARDER. 42 00:02:44,534 --> 00:02:48,400 I KEEP THINKING YOU'RE OUT HERE GROWING THESE HUGE ROSES, 43 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,701 ALL THE TIME I SUPPOSE YOU'RE GOSSIPING WITH PASSERS-BY. 44 00:02:51,701 --> 00:02:55,234 FUNNY YOU SHOULD SAY THAT, YOU KNOW WHO PASSED BY EARLIER THIS MORNING-- 45 00:02:55,234 --> 00:02:58,200 MY GOODNESS! IS THAT A DEAD LEAF? 46 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,767 WHY ARE YOU COLLECTING OLD DEAD LEAVES, RICHARD? 47 00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:04,334 I'M GONNA CORNER THE MARKET, 48 00:03:04,334 --> 00:03:06,167 THE ENTIRE WORLD MARKET. 49 00:03:06,167 --> 00:03:09,467 THEY'RE GOING TO BE BEGGING ME FOR OLD DEAD LEAVES. 50 00:03:09,467 --> 00:03:10,734 MMM? 51 00:03:16,968 --> 00:03:19,267 GOOD MORNING, ELIZABETH! 52 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,400 GOOD MORNING, HYACINTH. 53 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:25,334 DO COME IN AND WE'LL HAVE A LITTLE REHEARSAL FOR THIS AFTERNOON. 54 00:03:25,334 --> 00:03:27,701 REHEARSAL? 55 00:03:27,701 --> 00:03:30,701 SURELY YOU HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN YOU'RE HAVING TEA WITH THE NEW VICAR? 56 00:03:30,701 --> 00:03:32,968 AND LIGHT REFRESHMENTS. 57 00:03:32,968 --> 00:03:35,667 OH YES, FOR LIGHT REFRESHMENTS. 58 00:03:35,667 --> 00:03:38,934 I'VE HAD THEM BEFORE. DO WE NEED YOUR REHEARSAL? 59 00:03:38,934 --> 00:03:41,767 I NEVER LIKE LEAVING THINGS TO CHANCE. 60 00:03:41,767 --> 00:03:44,934 IT'S THE MARK OF THE THOUGHTFUL HOSTESS. 61 00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:46,934 OOOH! 62 00:03:46,934 --> 00:03:48,434 RICHARD! 63 00:03:48,434 --> 00:03:49,934 SORRY. 64 00:03:58,234 --> 00:04:00,801 DO SIT DOWN, ELIZABETH. 65 00:04:00,801 --> 00:04:03,834 NOT THERE, DEAR. I LIKE TO FACE THE WINDOW. 66 00:04:06,267 --> 00:04:07,701 OH, DEAR. 67 00:04:07,701 --> 00:04:09,100 TSK, TSK, TSK. 68 00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:11,334 I'M REALLY RATHER BUSY, HYACINTH. 69 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,133 OH, THAT'S NICE, DEAR. 70 00:04:14,834 --> 00:04:17,200 NOW, WITH REGARD TO WHAT TO WEAR, 71 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,868 I THINK ONE OF US SHOULD LOOK ATTRACTIVE IN SOMETHING TASTEFUL 72 00:04:20,868 --> 00:04:22,400 AND SUMMERY FLORAL. 73 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:25,734 WHAT WILL YOU WEAR? 74 00:04:25,734 --> 00:04:28,934 WELL, I'M RATHER EXPECTING YOU TO TELL ME. 75 00:04:28,934 --> 00:04:31,400 I WOULDN'T DREAM OF INTERFERING. 76 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:34,100 BUT JUST REMEMBER, THE IMPORTANT THING IS 77 00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:36,200 NOT TO CLASH WITH MY SUMMER FLORAL. 78 00:04:38,467 --> 00:04:40,734 SINCE WE LIVE NEXT DOOR TO EACH OTHER, 79 00:04:40,734 --> 00:04:43,234 THE LEAST WE CAN DO IS COORDINATE. 80 00:04:43,234 --> 00:04:45,267 I'LL PROBABLY WEAR MY TAN TWO-PIECE. 81 00:04:46,767 --> 00:04:48,000 OH, I SEE. 82 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,367 NOT MY TAN TWO-PIECE. 83 00:04:50,367 --> 00:04:53,467 I THINK SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE CHIC, DEAR, DON'T YOU? 84 00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:56,000 WELL, ALL RIGHT THEN, MY GREEN PRINT DRESS. 85 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,300 ISN'T THAT A LITTLE REVEALING? 86 00:04:58,300 --> 00:05:00,434 MMM. 87 00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:03,234 MY ELBOWS, POSSIBLY, BUT THAT'S ABOUT ALL! 88 00:05:03,234 --> 00:05:04,968 YES, I KNOW, DEAR. 89 00:05:04,968 --> 00:05:07,434 BUT ARE WE QUITE SURE WHERE THE NEW VICAR STANDS 90 00:05:07,434 --> 00:05:09,534 WITH REGARD TO NAKED ELBOWS? 91 00:05:09,534 --> 00:05:12,033 I DON'T THINK MINE WILL DRIVE HIM WILD. 92 00:05:12,033 --> 00:05:14,133 - EXCUSE ME. 93 00:05:14,133 --> 00:05:16,100 THAT'S PROBABLY THE WHOLESOME BAKERY 94 00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:18,534 RINGING TO APOLOGIZE. 95 00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:21,701 WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY TAN TWO-PIECE? 96 00:05:21,701 --> 00:05:25,534 THE "BOUQUET" RESIDENCE, THE LADY OF THE HOUSE SPEAKING. 97 00:05:26,567 --> 00:05:28,834 OH, IT'S YOU, ROSE. 98 00:05:28,834 --> 00:05:31,300 IT'S MY SISTER ROSE, ELIZABETH. 99 00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:33,767 SHE'S INCLINED TO BE TALKATIVE AND EXCITABLE, 100 00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,934 SO DO HELP YOURSELF TO A BISCUIT, DEAR. 101 00:05:35,934 --> 00:05:37,467 AND MIND THE CRUMBS! 102 00:05:39,934 --> 00:05:43,067 WHAT IS IT NOW, ROSE? 103 00:05:43,067 --> 00:05:47,667 ROSE, YOU WILL NOT COMMIT SUICIDE, I FORBID IT. 104 00:05:47,667 --> 00:05:50,467 NO ONE IN THIS FAMILY HAS EVER COMMITTED SUICIDE, 105 00:05:50,467 --> 00:05:52,534 AND I'M SURE WE'RE NOT GOING TO START 106 00:05:52,534 --> 00:05:56,501 ON THE DAY I'M HAVING THE NEW VICAR FOR TEA AND LIGHT REFRESHMENTS. 107 00:05:56,501 --> 00:06:00,100 I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR ROMANTIC ENTANGLEMENTS ARE, 108 00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:03,267 YOU CANNOT HAVE DEAR DEAD MOMMY'S WEDDING DRESS-- 109 00:06:03,267 --> 00:06:06,234 ESPECIALLY TO BE BURIED IN. 110 00:06:06,234 --> 00:06:09,567 - I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT MR. HEPPLEWHITE! 111 00:06:09,567 --> 00:06:12,033 WILL YOU KEEP IT DOWN, ROSE? 112 00:06:12,033 --> 00:06:14,400 I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT MR. HEPPLEWHITE-- 113 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,601 NOT SINCE THE TRAGEDY. 114 00:06:16,601 --> 00:06:19,834 WELL, IT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO ALL MEN IN THE END, 115 00:06:19,834 --> 00:06:22,734 HE'S GONE BACK TO HIS WIFE. 116 00:06:22,734 --> 00:06:26,667 I HAVE TO DIE! I THREATENED HIM I WOULD. 117 00:06:26,667 --> 00:06:28,667 WHAT DO YOU FANCY IN THE 3:00? 118 00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:29,901 RAINBOW LADY. 119 00:06:31,501 --> 00:06:33,534 HYACINTH! 120 00:06:33,534 --> 00:06:36,634 I WANT TO BE BURIED IN MOMMY'S WEDDING DRESS! 121 00:06:36,634 --> 00:06:38,701 YOU'VE GOT A BLOODY CHEEK BEING BURIED IN WHITE. 122 00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:44,434 I DON'T SEE WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE THE DRESS, ANYWAY. 123 00:06:44,434 --> 00:06:46,834 SHE WAS MY MOTHER TOO! 124 00:06:46,834 --> 00:06:49,400 THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS HAVE A LITTLE SYMPATHY 125 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,934 FOR YOUR SISTER WHEN SHE'S DETERMINED TO DIE! 126 00:06:51,934 --> 00:06:53,634 HAVE YOU SEEN MY LIBRARY BOOK? 127 00:06:54,968 --> 00:06:57,167 HAVE YOU LOOKED WHERE IT USUALLY IS? 128 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,167 UNDER THE SETTEE! 129 00:06:59,167 --> 00:07:02,801 NO, HYACINTH! 130 00:07:02,801 --> 00:07:04,234 NOT THE WEDDING DRESS! 131 00:07:04,234 --> 00:07:06,300 OUR DAISY'S LIBRARY BOOK! 132 00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,267 WHO'S MR. HEPPLEWHITE? 133 00:07:08,267 --> 00:07:10,400 SHE MET HIM LAST WEEK. 134 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,067 OH, HE'S LASTED NEARLY A WEEK THEN? 135 00:07:13,067 --> 00:07:16,434 THOUGHT IT WAS THE REAL THING THIS TIME. 136 00:07:16,434 --> 00:07:18,734 AND WHAT DOES BORIS THINK? 137 00:07:18,734 --> 00:07:21,367 OH, SHE DOESN'T TELL BORIS. 138 00:07:21,367 --> 00:07:24,367 WHAT'S THE POINT IN HURTING BORIS? 139 00:07:26,767 --> 00:07:29,133 SHE'S VERY THOUGHTFUL, YOUR ROSE. 140 00:07:29,133 --> 00:07:31,534 SHE'S GOT A GOOD HEART. 141 00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:34,033 A PITY SHE HASN'T GOT A HEAD TO MATCH. 142 00:07:34,033 --> 00:07:36,000 ( humming ) 143 00:07:39,767 --> 00:07:42,033 - PSST! - ( humming ) 144 00:07:43,133 --> 00:07:44,868 PSST! 145 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,801 PSST-- ( spits ) 146 00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:54,467 DEAR, GOOD MORNING! 147 00:07:54,467 --> 00:07:56,601 IT'S A LOVELY DAY, ISN'T IT? 148 00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:59,033 MIND YOU, I SHAN'T SEE MUCH OF IT. 149 00:07:59,033 --> 00:08:01,400 DID I TELL YOU I WAS HAVING THE NEW VICAR TODAY 150 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,000 FOR TEA AND LIGHT REFRESHMENTS? 151 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,601 SEVERAL TIMES. 152 00:08:06,601 --> 00:08:09,133 SHE'S PLAINLY SEETHING WITH ENVY. 153 00:08:09,133 --> 00:08:11,367 - MORNING. - RICHARD! 154 00:08:11,367 --> 00:08:13,968 I WILL NOT HAVE YOU WAVING IN DIRTY GARDENING GLOVES. 155 00:08:15,601 --> 00:08:18,901 THEY GET DIRTY WHEN YOU'RE GARDENING, HYACINTH. 156 00:08:18,901 --> 00:08:22,133 CAN'T YOU KEEP ONE PAIR FOR GARDENING AND ONE PAIR FOR WAVING? 157 00:08:24,601 --> 00:08:27,300 I'VE BEEN STANDING IN THAT DOORWAY FOR TWO MINUTES 158 00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:29,200 TRYING TO ATTRACT YOUR ATTENTION. 159 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:32,133 - I WAS WORKING. - YOU'VE NO RIGHT TO BE WORKING 160 00:08:32,133 --> 00:08:34,567 WHEN I'M HISSING AT YOU. I'VE GOT ROSE ON THE TELEPHONE. 161 00:08:34,567 --> 00:08:36,934 SHE'S GOING TO-- ( silent ) 162 00:08:36,934 --> 00:08:38,934 ( mimics knife ) 163 00:08:38,934 --> 00:08:41,133 NOT AGAIN. 164 00:08:41,133 --> 00:08:44,267 - WHO IS IT THIS TIME? - I THINK SHE SAID A MR. HEPPLEWHITE. 165 00:08:44,267 --> 00:08:48,300 THAT'S ALL RIGHT THEN. NOBODY EVER COMMITTED SUICIDE FOR SOMEBODY CALLED HEPPLEWHITE. 166 00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:51,200 WILL YOU KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN, RICHARD? 167 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:53,701 I'VE GOT ELIZABETH IN THE KITCHEN. 168 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:56,033 I DON'T WANT HER OVERHEARING FAMILY SCANDAL. 169 00:08:56,033 --> 00:09:00,000 I WANT YOU TO GO INSIDE AND ENGAGE ELIZABETH IN CONVERSATION. 170 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,501 I DON'T WANT HER LISTENING 171 00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:04,734 WHILE I'M TRYING TO CALM ROSE DOWN. 172 00:09:08,334 --> 00:09:10,767 NOT IN YOUR GARDENING SHOES, RICHARD! 173 00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:12,267 GO ROUND THE BACK! 174 00:09:17,968 --> 00:09:19,901 ( chuckles ) 175 00:09:21,701 --> 00:09:23,934 YES, OF COURSE I'M HERE, ROSE. 176 00:09:23,934 --> 00:09:25,767 I'VE BEEN HERE ALL THE TIME, DEAR. 177 00:09:25,767 --> 00:09:27,834 NOW PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, ROSE. 178 00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:31,868 WHAT CAN POSSIBLY HAPPEN ONCE A WEEK ON WEDNESDAYS 179 00:09:31,868 --> 00:09:34,367 TO MAKE MR. HEPPLEWHITE SO NECESSARY TO YOU? 180 00:09:39,501 --> 00:09:41,033 RICHARD! 181 00:09:41,033 --> 00:09:43,133 ARE YOU TALKING TO ELIZABETH? 182 00:09:43,133 --> 00:09:45,467 I'M TALKING! I'M TALKING! 183 00:09:45,467 --> 00:09:48,834 ROSE, I KNOW I ASKED THE QUESTION, 184 00:09:48,834 --> 00:09:52,400 BUT I'M NOT STANDING HERE SURROUNDED BY EXPENSIVE WALLPAPER 185 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,133 TO BE GIVEN DETAILS LIKE THAT. 186 00:09:55,467 --> 00:09:58,901 IT'S NOT AN EXCESSIVE YEAR 187 00:09:58,901 --> 00:10:00,767 FOR GREEN-FLY. 188 00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:06,133 WELL, THAT'S SOMETHING, ANYWAY. 189 00:10:06,133 --> 00:10:07,701 THEY ARE THERE, 190 00:10:07,701 --> 00:10:09,434 BUT NOT IN EXCESS. 191 00:10:09,434 --> 00:10:12,133 OH, THAT WAS ROSE. 192 00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:15,634 SHE TURNS TO ME FOR ADVICE, ALL THE FAMILY DO. 193 00:10:15,634 --> 00:10:18,033 "RING HYACINTH," THEY SAY. "SHE'LL KNOW." 194 00:10:18,033 --> 00:10:19,634 IT GETS VERY WEARING. 195 00:10:19,634 --> 00:10:22,567 THANK YOU, DEAR. 196 00:10:22,567 --> 00:10:25,400 - ANYTHING WRONG? - WRONG?! NO, NO! 197 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,400 WHY SHOULD THERE BE ANYTHING WRONG? 198 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,100 NO, IT'S JUST SISTER TALK. 199 00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:31,434 I LIKE WEEKLY REPORTS ON DADDY'S CONDITION. 200 00:10:31,434 --> 00:10:34,634 - HOW IS YOUR FATHER? - OH, TRAGIC. 201 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:38,133 A BRILLIANT I.Q. STRUGGLING WITH SENILITY. 202 00:10:38,133 --> 00:10:40,868 I'D LOVE TO HAVE HIM HERE BUT HE DROPS FOOD EVERYWHERE. 203 00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:45,634 NOW, RICHARD, DON'T JUST SIT THERE. 204 00:10:45,634 --> 00:10:48,901 WASH YOUR HANDS, CHANGE YOUR SHOES, 205 00:10:48,901 --> 00:10:51,367 THEN I WANT YOU TO GO TO THE WHOLESOME BAKERY 206 00:10:51,367 --> 00:10:54,534 WHERE YOU WILL SPEAK TO THE MANAGER ABOUT THEIR DELIVERY POLICY. 207 00:11:00,067 --> 00:11:04,968 AND THEN YOU WILL RETURN HERE WITH SIX SUPERIOR FRESH CREAM CAKES. 208 00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:10,467 OH, UH, WHAT ABOUT THEIR DELIVERY POLICY? 209 00:11:10,467 --> 00:11:13,634 INEPT. POINT TO THE FOLLY OF THEIR NOT UNDERSTANDING 210 00:11:13,634 --> 00:11:16,067 CUSTOMERS OF OUR SOCIAL STATUS. 211 00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:17,968 BE SCATHING, RICHARD. 212 00:11:17,968 --> 00:11:19,267 CRUSH THEM. 213 00:11:23,801 --> 00:11:26,501 ( electric razor buzzing, stops ) 214 00:11:29,701 --> 00:11:32,868 SHOULD I WEAR A SUIT OR SOMETHING CASUAL? 215 00:11:32,868 --> 00:11:35,467 CASUAL MIGHT GIVE THE WRONG IMPRESSION, DEAR. 216 00:11:35,467 --> 00:11:37,300 IT IS SATURDAY. 217 00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:39,601 EXACTLY! NEARLY SUNDAY. 218 00:11:39,601 --> 00:11:42,367 THE NEW VICAR PROBABLY HAS HALF HIS MIND 219 00:11:42,367 --> 00:11:45,167 ALREADY ON TOMORROW'S RELIGIOUS DUTIES. 220 00:11:45,167 --> 00:11:48,400 IN WHICH CASE, RICHARD, IT SEEMS HARDLY FITTING 221 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,968 FOR YOU TO COME SLINKING IN, DRESSED FOR FRIVOLITY. 222 00:11:50,968 --> 00:11:54,934 FRIVOLITY? 30 YEARS MARRIED, 223 00:11:54,934 --> 00:11:57,167 I CAN'T REMEMBER A SINGLE FRIVOL. 224 00:11:57,167 --> 00:11:59,634 ( phone ringing ) 225 00:11:59,634 --> 00:12:02,033 WEAR A SUIT, DEAR. 226 00:12:02,033 --> 00:12:04,133 AND ANSWER THAT, WILL YOU? 227 00:12:10,267 --> 00:12:12,701 IT'S FOR YOU, IT'S ELIZABETH. 228 00:12:12,701 --> 00:12:14,901 FROM NEXT DOOR? 229 00:12:17,734 --> 00:12:19,801 GET SOMETHING ON. 230 00:12:19,801 --> 00:12:22,701 YOU SHOULDN'T BE ANSWERING THE PHONE TO LADIES IN THAT CONDITION. 231 00:12:23,734 --> 00:12:25,701 ELIZABETH! 232 00:12:25,701 --> 00:12:29,267 YES, CERTAINLY I'LL GIVE YOU THE BENEFIT OF MY OPINION. 233 00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:42,701 YES, I LIKE THAT. I'VE ALWAYS LIKED THAT. 234 00:12:42,701 --> 00:12:45,534 I HAVEN'T HAD IT ALL THAT LONG. 235 00:12:45,534 --> 00:12:47,067 IT'S VERY SUITABLE, DEAR. 236 00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:50,767 YOU'LL BLEND BEAUTIFULLY INTO THE BACKGROUND. 237 00:12:53,801 --> 00:12:55,734 AHH... THIS SUIT? 238 00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:59,000 GOOD GRIEF, RICHARD, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ASK ME? 239 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,701 I DON'T DETERMINE WHAT PEOPLE WEAR. 240 00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:05,334 DO I TAKE IT THAT'S A YES? 241 00:13:05,334 --> 00:13:08,467 CAN'T YOU FIND A MORE RELIGIOUS TIE? 242 00:13:14,667 --> 00:13:16,601 YOU LOOK VERY NICE, ELIZABETH. 243 00:13:16,601 --> 00:13:18,067 THANK YOU, RICHARD. 244 00:13:18,067 --> 00:13:20,534 YOU TOO. VERY SMART. 245 00:13:20,534 --> 00:13:23,267 CASUAL WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE. 246 00:13:23,267 --> 00:13:25,334 RICHARD! 247 00:13:25,334 --> 00:13:27,100 DUTY CALLS. 248 00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:29,267 FREQUENTLY. 249 00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:49,467 YEAH? 250 00:13:49,467 --> 00:13:52,834 BUY SOMETHING, SIR, FROM A GYPSY WOMAN, AND BE LUCKY. 251 00:13:52,834 --> 00:13:56,033 YOU BE LUCKY. HOW ABOUT BUYING FROM ME? 252 00:13:56,033 --> 00:13:58,801 I'LL BET YOUR OLD MAN'S GOT A LOT MORE IN HIS BACK POCKET THAN I HAVE. 253 00:14:00,634 --> 00:14:03,133 I COULD LET HIM HAVE THAT OLD WRECK IN THE GARDEN. 254 00:14:05,167 --> 00:14:07,534 NOT THERE, I MEAN THE CAR. 255 00:14:07,534 --> 00:14:11,267 BUY SOMETHING FROM THE GYPSY, MISSUS, AND BE LUCKY. 256 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,000 I DON'T KNOW WHETHER I'VE GOT ANY CHANGE. 257 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,701 SHE HASN'T. I'M ABLE TO TELL YOU THAT BECAUSE "A," I'M PSYCHIC, 258 00:14:16,701 --> 00:14:20,467 AND "B," I'M THE ONE THAT GOES THROUGH HER POCKETS. 259 00:14:20,467 --> 00:14:23,667 IT'S BAD LUCK NOT TO BUY SOMETHING. 260 00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:26,167 WHAT'RE YOU SELLING ANYWAY? 261 00:14:26,167 --> 00:14:28,367 RIBBONS AND LUCKY CHARMS. 262 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,234 JUST WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED. 263 00:14:31,367 --> 00:14:33,801 HAS SHE GOT ANY LOVE POTIONS, 264 00:14:33,801 --> 00:14:35,634 OR-- OPEN RAZORS? 265 00:14:35,634 --> 00:14:37,567 TELL YOUR FORTUNE, LADY. 266 00:14:37,567 --> 00:14:40,434 SHE KNOWS HER FORTUNE, SHE'S BEEN MOANING ABOUT IT ALL DAY. 267 00:14:40,434 --> 00:14:42,968 WILL YOU GET OUT OF THE DOORWAY, ONSLOW? 268 00:14:42,968 --> 00:14:44,701 LET THE GYPSY IN. 269 00:14:44,701 --> 00:14:48,000 - WHERE'S SHE GOING? - I'M NOT STANDING OUT HERE 270 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,834 HAVING MY FORTUNE TOLD. 271 00:14:49,834 --> 00:14:52,934 YOU'RE VERY FUSSY FOR SOMEONE WHO'S ABOUT TO COMMIT SUICIDE. 272 00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:56,934 I CAN SEE YOU'RE TROUBLED IN LOVE. 273 00:14:56,934 --> 00:14:58,467 OH RIGHT. 274 00:14:58,467 --> 00:15:00,267 MAKES YOU WONDER HOW THEY DO IT. 275 00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:04,601 IT'S BAD LUCK NOT TO BUY SOMETHING FROM A GYPSY. 276 00:15:05,801 --> 00:15:07,934 BAD LUCK? 277 00:15:07,934 --> 00:15:11,567 WHEN WE LIVE LIKE THIS, HOW CAN YOU BE SCARED OF BAD LUCK? 278 00:15:13,901 --> 00:15:16,000 NOW... I THINK WHEN THEY COME, 279 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,734 I'LL SIT YOU THERE, ELIZABETH. 280 00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:23,601 I'LL HAVE THE VICAR HERE, NEXT TO ME, OF COURSE. 281 00:15:23,601 --> 00:15:26,400 AND WE LEAVE THAT ONE FOR THE VICAR'S WIFE. 282 00:15:27,567 --> 00:15:30,200 AND RICHARD WILL SIT NEXT TO HER. 283 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:31,734 RIGHT? 284 00:15:32,734 --> 00:15:34,567 OH! SORRY, VICAR. 285 00:15:36,033 --> 00:15:38,801 NOW, TOPICS OF CONVERSATION. 286 00:15:38,801 --> 00:15:40,868 MUST KEEP EVERYTHING WHOLESOME. 287 00:15:40,868 --> 00:15:42,934 NOTHING CONTROVERSIAL. 288 00:15:42,934 --> 00:15:46,300 RICHARD, I THINK I'D HAVE OUR HOLIDAY SNAPS AT THE READY. 289 00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:49,000 AND WHEN THEY BEGIN TO PALL, I SHALL REGALE THE VICAR 290 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,267 WITH TALES OF SHERIDAN'S ACADEMIC PROWESS. 291 00:15:51,267 --> 00:15:54,834 - I HOPE THAT'S NOT A CANCELLATION. 292 00:15:54,834 --> 00:15:57,133 HE MAY HAVE BEEN CALLED AWAY FOR A FUNERAL. 293 00:15:59,033 --> 00:16:03,267 HOW INCONSIDERATE OF PEOPLE TO DIE AT THE WEEKEND. 294 00:16:03,267 --> 00:16:06,801 THE "BOUQUET" RESIDENCE, THE LADY OF THE HOUSE SP-- 295 00:16:06,801 --> 00:16:11,033 NO, YOU CANNOT HAVE THREE OF 22 AND A PORTION OF 19 WITH CHIPS! 296 00:16:11,033 --> 00:16:13,033 THIS IS NOT THE CHINESE TAKE-AWAY. 297 00:16:13,033 --> 00:16:17,033 THIS IS A PRIVATE, SLIMLINE, PEARL WHITE TELEPHONE, 298 00:16:17,033 --> 00:16:20,000 WITH NO ORIENTAL ASSOCIATIONS WHATSOEVER! 299 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,434 THAT WAS AT MIDDLETON. 300 00:16:22,434 --> 00:16:24,834 - AH. - WRONG NUMBER. 301 00:16:24,834 --> 00:16:27,234 THE CHINESE TAKEAWAY AGAIN. 302 00:16:27,234 --> 00:16:29,033 WE OUGHT TO CHANGE OUR NUMBER. 303 00:16:29,033 --> 00:16:31,334 CHANGE OUR NUMBER! 304 00:16:31,334 --> 00:16:33,367 I'VE WRITTEN TO BRITISH TELECOM 305 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:36,467 INSISTING THEY CHANGE THE CHINESE NUMBER. 306 00:16:36,467 --> 00:16:39,434 I'VE TOLD THEM. I WON'T STAND HERE LISTENING 307 00:16:39,434 --> 00:16:42,467 TO PEOPLE BREATHING SOYA SAUCE DOWN THE TELEPHONE. 308 00:16:42,467 --> 00:16:45,767 - OOOH. - I THINK I HEARD A CAR. 309 00:16:45,767 --> 00:16:47,367 ( car approaching ) 310 00:16:47,367 --> 00:16:48,968 OH NO. 311 00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:55,934 YOU TELL HER. 312 00:16:55,934 --> 00:16:58,767 ME? TELL HYACINTH? 313 00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:00,868 ONLY TWO THINGS WRONG WITH THAT-- 314 00:17:00,868 --> 00:17:03,100 ONE, SHE NEVER LISTENS TO ANYBODY; 315 00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:05,601 AND TWO, SHE CERTAINLY NEVER LISTENS TO ME. 316 00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:08,767 THAT MEANS I'LL HAVE TO TELL HER. 317 00:17:08,767 --> 00:17:10,501 SHE'S YOUR SISTER. 318 00:17:10,501 --> 00:17:12,701 SHE'LL GO MAD. 319 00:17:12,701 --> 00:17:14,901 THAT COULD BE AN IMPROVEMENT. 320 00:17:18,133 --> 00:17:20,667 - THEY'RE COMING IN. - OF COURSE THEY'RE COMING IN. 321 00:17:20,667 --> 00:17:22,801 - I WANT YOU TO GET THAT CAR 322 00:17:22,801 --> 00:17:24,567 AWAY FROM THIS PROPERTY. 323 00:17:24,567 --> 00:17:26,934 I WANT THEM AND IT OUT OF THE AVENUE. 324 00:17:26,934 --> 00:17:28,601 I JUST CAN'T SEND THEM AWAY. 325 00:17:28,601 --> 00:17:31,300 I WANT THEM OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE THE VICAR COMES. 326 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:32,934 ( doorbell rings ) 327 00:17:32,934 --> 00:17:35,033 HYACINTH, ISN'T THAT YOUR DOORBELL? 328 00:17:35,033 --> 00:17:36,834 OH! ( chuckles ) 329 00:17:36,834 --> 00:17:38,634 IT DOES THAT SOMETIMES. 330 00:17:38,634 --> 00:17:41,067 IT'S PART OF A VERY EXPENSIVE TEST SYSTEM. 331 00:17:42,601 --> 00:17:45,100 YOU HAVE TO SEE THEM, HYACINTH. 332 00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:48,167 THEY CAN HAVE TWO MINUTES ON THE DOORSTEP! 333 00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:52,968 DAISY, ONSLOW, WHAT A SURPRISE. 334 00:17:52,968 --> 00:17:55,334 HOW NICE OF YOU TO CALL ON THE WAY TO TOWN. 335 00:17:55,334 --> 00:17:58,200 - LET ME WALK YOU TO THE CAR. - WE'RE NOT GOING TO TOWN. 336 00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,601 NOT GOING TO TOWN ON SUCH A PLEASANT SATURDAY? 337 00:18:00,601 --> 00:18:02,334 OF COURSE, I'D LOVE YOU TO STAY, 338 00:18:02,334 --> 00:18:05,300 BUT I'M EXPECTING THE NEW VICAR FOR TEA AND LIGHT REFRESHMENTS. 339 00:18:05,300 --> 00:18:07,701 - YOU SHOULD HAVE TELEPHONED. - WE TRIED TO TELEPHONE, 340 00:18:07,701 --> 00:18:10,801 - BUT YOU WERE ENGAGED. - I WAS DEALING WITH A WRONG NUMBER. 341 00:18:10,801 --> 00:18:13,434 SOME DAMN FOOL THINKS I'M A CHINESE RESTAURANT. 342 00:18:13,434 --> 00:18:15,767 TELL HER! 343 00:18:15,767 --> 00:18:17,601 TELL ME WHAT? 344 00:18:17,601 --> 00:18:20,467 - IT'S DAD. - DADDY? 345 00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:22,133 WHAT'S WRONG WITH DADDY? 346 00:18:22,133 --> 00:18:24,467 NOT A LOT, APPARENTLY. ( laughs ) 347 00:18:24,467 --> 00:18:26,701 BE QUIET, ONSLOW. 348 00:18:26,701 --> 00:18:28,968 TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG WITH DADDY. 349 00:18:28,968 --> 00:18:30,400 HE'S MISSING. 350 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,601 MISSING? OF COURSE HE'S NOT MISSING! 351 00:18:32,601 --> 00:18:34,734 I EXPECT HE'S JUST MISLAID. 352 00:18:34,734 --> 00:18:37,267 HE'S RUN OFF WITH A GYPSY. 353 00:18:37,267 --> 00:18:39,701 KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN! 354 00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:42,634 HOW COULD HE HAVE RUN OFF WITH A GYPSY? 355 00:18:42,634 --> 00:18:44,934 ON HIS BIKE FOR STARTERS. 356 00:18:44,934 --> 00:18:47,167 WE HAD A GYPSY AT THE HOUSE. 357 00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:49,367 SHE WAS TELLING ROSE HER FORTUNE. 358 00:18:49,367 --> 00:18:52,968 WHEN SHE LEFT-- DAD MUST HAVE FOLLOWED HER. 359 00:18:52,968 --> 00:18:55,300 DADDY WITH A GOLDEN EARRING. 360 00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:57,801 IT'S UNTHINKABLE. 361 00:18:57,801 --> 00:19:00,367 - SHOULD WE CALL THE POLICE? - NO! 362 00:19:00,367 --> 00:19:03,400 NO POLICE. WE DON'T NEED ANY SCANDAL. 363 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:06,667 - YOU MUST GO AND FIND HIM. - WHAT'S GOING ON, HYACINTH? 364 00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:09,267 RICHARD WILL GO WITH YOU. 365 00:19:09,267 --> 00:19:12,434 IT'S DADDY. HE'S BEEN KIDNAPPED 366 00:19:12,434 --> 00:19:14,133 BY GYPSIES. 367 00:19:14,133 --> 00:19:16,400 NOW, RUSH TO DADDY'S ASSISTANCE. 368 00:19:19,467 --> 00:19:22,734 I THOUGHT TRADITIONALLY THEY ONLY KIDNAPPED CHILDREN? 369 00:19:22,734 --> 00:19:25,334 BRING DADDY BACK TO ME, RICHARD. 370 00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:29,801 AS FAR AS DAISY'S, ANYWAY. 371 00:19:29,801 --> 00:19:31,968 ( engine sputtering ) 372 00:19:32,968 --> 00:19:35,434 ( sputtering continues ) 373 00:19:35,434 --> 00:19:38,200 ( engine starts, bangs ) 374 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,434 ( car departs ) 375 00:19:45,033 --> 00:19:47,234 ( door opens ) 376 00:19:49,667 --> 00:19:52,133 - WHAT IS IT, HYACINTH? - IT'S DADDY. 377 00:19:52,133 --> 00:19:54,400 HE'S BEEN KIDNAPPED BY GYPSIES. 378 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,934 OH MY GOODNESS! 379 00:19:55,934 --> 00:19:57,801 WE MUST RING THE POLICE! 380 00:19:57,801 --> 00:19:59,200 NO! NO POLICE. 381 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,167 WE CAN'T. 382 00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:03,701 DAISY'S WEARING SLIPPERS, ONSLOW'S GOT BARE ARMS. 383 00:20:07,868 --> 00:20:10,334 WHY WOULD THE GYPSIES KIDNAP YOUR FATHER? 384 00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:15,067 I EXPECT FOR RANSOM. 385 00:20:15,067 --> 00:20:18,133 THEY'LL BE AFTER MY VERY EXPENSIVE ROYAL DOULTON CHINA 386 00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:20,167 WITH THE HAND-PAINTED PERIWINKLES. 387 00:20:25,734 --> 00:20:29,133 WHY WOULD HE RUN AWAY WITH A GYPSY? 388 00:20:29,133 --> 00:20:31,133 LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY, 389 00:20:31,133 --> 00:20:33,868 JUST HOPE YOU CATCH HIM BEFORE HE GETS MARRIED. 390 00:20:33,868 --> 00:20:36,100 I THOUGHT HE WAS IN BED. 391 00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:38,300 I COULD HEAR HIS TELLY. 392 00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:41,267 HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO ANTICIPATE YOUR OWN FATHER 393 00:20:41,267 --> 00:20:44,634 SNEAKING OUT UNDER THE COVER OF TELEVISION IN PURSUIT OF A GYPSY? 394 00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:47,934 HAS HE ALWAYS FANCIED THE ROMANY LIFE? 395 00:20:47,934 --> 00:20:50,434 HE NEVER SAID. 396 00:20:50,434 --> 00:20:52,701 - ( taps ) - WE'RE RUNNING DRY. 397 00:20:52,701 --> 00:20:54,734 GOT ANY PETROL MONEY? 398 00:20:54,734 --> 00:20:56,534 I DIDN'T BRING A PURSE. 399 00:20:57,567 --> 00:20:59,200 DOWN TO YOU, DICKY. 400 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,334 I'VE CHANGED MY CLOTHES. 401 00:21:01,334 --> 00:21:03,400 I'VE LEFT ALL MY MONEY AT HOME. 402 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,100 NOW... 403 00:21:05,100 --> 00:21:07,868 I WANT YOU TO SIT HERE, VICAR. 404 00:21:07,868 --> 00:21:11,734 I'VE HAD MANY A RELIGIOUS INSPIRATION ON THAT SOFA. 405 00:21:14,133 --> 00:21:15,801 OH! ( laughs ) 406 00:21:15,801 --> 00:21:19,100 AND IF YOUR CHARMING WIFE WOULD LIKE TO SIT HERE, 407 00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:22,968 WHERE SHE'LL BE WITHIN EASY REACH OF MY TASTY, HOMEMADE CANAPES. 408 00:21:22,968 --> 00:21:26,067 IT'S VERY KIND OF YOU TO INVITE US, MRS. BUCKET. 409 00:21:26,067 --> 00:21:28,467 IT'S "BOUQUET," VICAR. 410 00:21:28,467 --> 00:21:30,300 OH, I'M SORRY. 411 00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:32,267 IT'S OF FRENCH ORIGIN. 412 00:21:32,267 --> 00:21:36,367 I BELIEVE MY HUSBAND'S FAMILY IN THE DISTANT PAST 413 00:21:36,367 --> 00:21:39,033 WERE "HUGUENICKS" OR SOMETHING. 414 00:21:39,033 --> 00:21:42,067 NOT THAT THERE'S ANY FRENCH BLOOD IN HIM NOW OF COURSE. 415 00:21:42,067 --> 00:21:45,868 YOU MAY REST ASSURED, VICAR, YOU'RE QUITE SAFE, 416 00:21:45,868 --> 00:21:47,834 THERE ARE NO FRENCH HABITS HERE. 417 00:21:47,834 --> 00:21:50,234 ( laughing ) 418 00:21:51,767 --> 00:21:54,400 ELIZABETH, IF YOU COULD PASS ROUND MY ROYAL DOULTON 419 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:57,334 WITH THE HAND-PAINTED PERIWINKLES? 420 00:21:57,334 --> 00:22:00,467 MUST I, HYACINTH? I'M TERRIFIED OF DROPPING ONE. 421 00:22:00,467 --> 00:22:02,567 IT IS LOVELY CHINA, MRS. BUCKET. 422 00:22:02,567 --> 00:22:05,033 UH-- "BOUQUET!" 423 00:22:05,033 --> 00:22:07,767 IT IS SOMETHING OF A FAMILY HEIRLOOM. 424 00:22:10,367 --> 00:22:13,400 I-- LOOK, I THINK IT REALLY WOULD BE BETTER, HYACINTH, 425 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:16,167 - IF WE ALL HELPED OURSELVES. - YES! WE CAN DO THAT. 426 00:22:16,167 --> 00:22:17,501 YES, JOLLY GOOD IDEA. 427 00:22:17,501 --> 00:22:19,300 ( Hyacinth stuttering ) 428 00:22:19,300 --> 00:22:21,567 I DID HAVE IN MIND SOMETHING RATHER MORE ORDERLY. 429 00:22:21,567 --> 00:22:23,734 ( car backfires ) 430 00:22:26,501 --> 00:22:30,767 IF THE ASSEMBLED COMPANY WOULD PLEASE EXCUSE ME. 431 00:22:30,767 --> 00:22:32,868 SOMETHING'S JUST COME UP. 432 00:22:40,133 --> 00:22:41,667 OOOH! 433 00:22:44,734 --> 00:22:46,834 WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK HERE? 434 00:22:46,834 --> 00:22:48,868 WHY DID YOU BRING THEM BACK HERE? 435 00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:51,067 I WANT SOME PETROL MONEY. IT'S IN MY OTHER SUIT. 436 00:22:51,067 --> 00:22:53,067 GET THEM OUT OF SIGHT! 437 00:22:53,067 --> 00:22:54,400 AS SOON AS I GET THE MONEY. 438 00:23:02,100 --> 00:23:04,834 WHY DON'T YOU-- GET IN THE CAR, ONSLOW? 439 00:23:04,834 --> 00:23:07,400 I'M SURE IT'S GOING TO RAIN. 440 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,167 YES, THERE IT IS. I CAN FEEL IT NOW. RAIN. 441 00:23:10,167 --> 00:23:12,167 CAN'T FEEL A THING. 442 00:23:12,167 --> 00:23:14,367 ANY MINUTE NOW-- THERE IT IS. 443 00:23:14,367 --> 00:23:16,200 RAIN. 444 00:23:17,968 --> 00:23:20,033 IF WE CAN'T FIND DAD, 445 00:23:20,033 --> 00:23:21,834 WE'LL HAVE TO RING THE POLICE. 446 00:23:21,834 --> 00:23:25,167 I WILL NOT HAVE THIS FAMILY INVOLVED WITH THE POLICE. 447 00:23:25,167 --> 00:23:27,367 HEY, THEY'RE ALL RIGHT WHEN YOU GET TO KNOW THEM. 448 00:23:27,367 --> 00:23:29,734 TO KNOW THEM! 449 00:23:34,367 --> 00:23:36,234 ISN'T THAT OUR ROSE? 450 00:23:38,801 --> 00:23:40,667 OH MY GOD. 451 00:23:43,534 --> 00:23:47,000 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN BLACK? - I'M IN MOURNING. 452 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,968 - WHO FOR? - FOR ME! 453 00:23:49,968 --> 00:23:51,634 NOBODY ELSE WILL. 454 00:23:51,634 --> 00:23:54,601 ( sniffles ) MR. HEPPLEWHITE DOESN'T CARE. 455 00:23:54,601 --> 00:23:56,701 ROSE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 456 00:23:56,701 --> 00:23:59,100 I'VE COME FOR MOMMY'S WEDDING DRESS! 457 00:23:59,100 --> 00:24:01,868 - I'VE TOLD YOU, YOU CAN'T HAVE-- - IT WON'T FIT YOU ANYWAY. 458 00:24:01,868 --> 00:24:05,100 IT'LL DO TO BE BURIED IN. 459 00:24:05,100 --> 00:24:07,400 YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE. THE VICAR'S IN THERE. 460 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:10,267 OH GREAT! HE CAN READ ME THE BURIAL SERVICE! 461 00:24:10,267 --> 00:24:12,567 OH NO! 462 00:24:15,167 --> 00:24:17,467 WHO'S FUNERAL IS SHE GOING TO? 463 00:24:17,467 --> 00:24:19,434 SOMEBODY SHE'S VERY CLOSE TO. 464 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:22,968 ( door opens, slams ) 465 00:24:22,968 --> 00:24:26,133 YOU CAN'T JUST BURST IN. THEY'RE HAVING TEA AND LIGHT REFRESHMENTS. 466 00:24:26,133 --> 00:24:29,968 YOU CAN'T BEGRUDGE A PERSON A VICAR WHEN THEY'RE ON THE BRINK OF THE GRAVE! 467 00:24:29,968 --> 00:24:33,133 YOU'RE NOT ON THE BRINK, YOU'VE HARDLY SET FOOT IN THE CEMETERY. 468 00:24:34,601 --> 00:24:37,601 HAVE YOU ANY IDEA OF THE LOVE I BEAR FOR MR. HEPPLEWHITE? 469 00:24:37,601 --> 00:24:39,801 YOU'RE DROPPING PETALS ON MY LACQUERED WOODBLOCK. 470 00:24:42,033 --> 00:24:45,234 THIS IS THE LAST TIME I SHALL INCONVENIENCE YOU. 471 00:24:45,234 --> 00:24:47,200 DON'T TRY AND STOP ME! 472 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:50,267 IT'S CRUEL TO ASK ME TO LIVE WITH A BROKEN HEART! 473 00:24:50,267 --> 00:24:52,834 ROSE! 474 00:24:52,834 --> 00:24:55,200 - HE'S VERY YOUNG! - YOU-- 475 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,400 YOU NEVER SAID HE WAS YOUNG. 476 00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,167 - YEAH, I-- ROSE! - IT'S VERY WICKED OF YOU, HYACINTH. 477 00:25:00,167 --> 00:25:02,467 - KEEPING HIM ALL TO YOURSELF. - ROSE! 478 00:25:02,467 --> 00:25:04,701 ( phone ringing ) 479 00:25:07,367 --> 00:25:10,801 THE "BOUQUET" RESIDENCE, THE LADY OF THE HOUSE-- 480 00:25:10,801 --> 00:25:14,467 OH, SHERIDAN, HOW WONDERFUL TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, DEAR! 481 00:25:14,467 --> 00:25:17,167 WHAT A CLOSE PSYCHIC BOND BETWEEN YOU AND I. 482 00:25:18,934 --> 00:25:20,467 �50? 483 00:25:20,467 --> 00:25:22,133 WHY DO YOU NEED �50, DEAR? 484 00:25:23,634 --> 00:25:26,000 WHY DO YOU WANT CURTAIN MATERIAL? 485 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,367 A FLAT? WHOSE FLAT? 486 00:25:28,367 --> 00:25:31,968 SHERIDAN, YOU'RE NOT MOVING IN WITH SOME DESIGNING FEMALE. 487 00:25:33,567 --> 00:25:37,534 OH, IT'S NOT A GIRL'S FLAT, IT'S A BOY'S FLAT. 488 00:25:37,534 --> 00:25:41,934 AND YOU'RE MAKING YOUR OWN CURTAINS? HOW INVENTIVE, DEAR. 489 00:25:41,934 --> 00:25:45,367 YOUR FRIEND ALWAYS MAKES HIS OWN CURTAINS. I SEE. 490 00:25:45,367 --> 00:25:48,133 ( engine sputtering ) 491 00:25:48,133 --> 00:25:51,067 DON'T WORRY. 492 00:25:51,067 --> 00:25:53,968 - BLOODY THING. 493 00:25:53,968 --> 00:25:57,200 YOU SHOULDN'T BE MUTTERING THINGS LIKE THAT, ONSLOW. 494 00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:00,434 NOT WITH A VICAR IN THE VICINITY. 495 00:26:00,434 --> 00:26:04,067 BY ALL MEANS SEND ME A SAMPLE OF HIS EMBROIDERY. 496 00:26:04,067 --> 00:26:07,267 IT'S A LIFELINE FINDING SOMEONE YOU CAN CONFIDE IN. 497 00:26:07,267 --> 00:26:10,634 - ROSE. ROSE! - WHAT A PITY YOU DON'T DO CONFESSIONS. 498 00:26:10,634 --> 00:26:12,267 YOU COULD HAVE A BALL WITH MINE. 499 00:26:12,267 --> 00:26:14,467 ROSE, WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THE VICAR? 500 00:26:14,467 --> 00:26:16,634 SHERIDAN, DEAR, WILL YOU HOLD JUST A MOMENT? 501 00:26:16,634 --> 00:26:20,434 I'M SURE SHE'S NOT GOING AT HIM. SHE JUST NEEDS A SHOULDER TO CRY ON. 502 00:26:20,434 --> 00:26:23,067 SHE DIDN'T LOOK AS THOUGH SHE WAS ABOUT TO CRY TO ME! 503 00:26:23,067 --> 00:26:25,234 SHE WAS DOING EVERYTHING BUT BITE HIS NECK. 504 00:26:25,234 --> 00:26:27,200 SHE'S VERY EMOTIONAL, DEAR. 505 00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:30,033 THINK OF IT AS A HORMONE IMBALANCE. 506 00:26:31,667 --> 00:26:35,467 WE DO-- WE ALWAYS THINK OF IT AS A HORMONE IMBALANCE! 507 00:26:35,467 --> 00:26:40,467 IT'S VERY KIND OF THE VICAR. HE MAY HAVE SAVED MY SISTER FROM A DESPERATE ACT! 508 00:26:40,467 --> 00:26:44,501 WHERE'S MY HUSBAND? WHICH WAY DID HE GO? WHERE'S MY HUSBAND? 509 00:26:49,567 --> 00:26:51,801 - REALLY, I MUST STAY. - OH, BY THE WAY! 510 00:26:51,801 --> 00:26:54,567 DAD'S COME BACK WITH A STACK OF RIBBONS AND LUCKY CHARMS. 511 00:26:54,567 --> 00:26:55,634 COME ON. 512 00:26:55,634 --> 00:26:57,801 WHERE IS HE GOING? WHERE IS SHE TAKING HIM? 513 00:26:57,801 --> 00:27:00,601 - WHERE IS HE GOING? - HE'S PROBABLY BETTER OFF DOWN THERE 514 00:27:00,601 --> 00:27:02,567 THAN LISTENING TO WHAT ONSLOW'S SAYING. 515 00:27:02,567 --> 00:27:04,968 ( horn blowing ) 516 00:27:09,901 --> 00:27:13,734 DO FEEL FREE TO POP IN AT ANY TIME, DEAR. 517 00:27:13,734 --> 00:27:17,267 THERE'LL ALWAYS BE A WELCOME FOR YOU AT THE "BOUQUETS'." 518 00:27:18,734 --> 00:27:23,434 WHAT A DISASTER TO MY TEA AND LIGHT REFRESHMENTS. 519 00:27:23,434 --> 00:27:26,734 I COULD MURDER SOME LIGHT REFRESHMENTS. 520 00:27:26,734 --> 00:27:29,033 IF IT WASN'T FOR SHERIDAN'S GOOD NEWS, 521 00:27:29,033 --> 00:27:31,200 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS DAY WOULD HAVE BEEN. 522 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:32,868 GOOD NEWS FROM SHERIDAN? 523 00:27:32,868 --> 00:27:35,567 HE'S MOVED IN WITH A VERY SUITABLE FRIEND. 524 00:27:35,567 --> 00:27:38,868 THEY'RE MAKING THEIR OWN CURTAINS. 525 00:27:38,868 --> 00:27:41,968 APPARENTLY HIS FRIEND'S VERY GOOD WITH A NEEDLE. 526 00:27:41,968 --> 00:27:44,667 HE HAS PRIZES FOR EMBROIDERY. 527 00:27:46,667 --> 00:27:49,634 YOU BETTER COME IN AND HAVE SOME TEA AND LIGHT REFRESHMENTS. 528 00:27:51,567 --> 00:27:53,734 ONSLOW... 529 00:27:53,734 --> 00:27:55,300 BEFORE YOU COME IN, 530 00:27:55,300 --> 00:27:58,300 JUST SHIFT THIS WRECK NEXT DOOR, WILL YOU, DEAR? 531 00:27:59,534 --> 00:28:01,634 "PRIZES FOR EMBROIDERY"? 532 00:28:01,634 --> 00:28:04,634 LET'S MOVE THE CAR, SHALL WE, ONSLOW? 533 00:28:05,801 --> 00:28:08,267 ( theme music playing )