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HAUNTING MUSIC

2
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DOOR OPENS

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HAUNTING MUSIC CONTINUES

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WIND HOWLS

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DOOR CREAKS

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Oh, excuse me.
I've just been draining a kidney.

7
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You're Mr Parkway, I take it?

8
00:01:44,875 --> 00:01:47,234
Er, Dr Parkway, yes.

9
00:01:47,235 --> 00:01:49,024
You must be Mr Wilson?

10
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Oh, call me Dick. Everyone does.

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So have you ever been
champing before?

12
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Sorry?

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Champing — camping in a church.
That's what we call it.

14
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Though it does have unfortunate
connotations of someone

15
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eating with their mouth full.

16
00:02:03,755 --> 00:02:05,794
Ah, no, I haven't, actually.

17
00:02:05,795 --> 00:02:09,234
My wife booked this as a Christmas
present, but sadly, sh...

18
00:02:09,235 --> 00:02:12,794
As I'm sure you're aware,
it costs a pretty penny to preserve

19
00:02:12,795 --> 00:02:16,604
these old buildings, and champing
is our biggest money-spinner.

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00:02:16,605 --> 00:02:21,435
We let them all in, every creed,
faith, culture -

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as long as they pay
their overnight fees.

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Speaking of which...?

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Oh, yes, sorry.
I only have a card, I'm afraid.

24
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I've got my swiper.

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HE CHUCKLES

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00:02:35,875 --> 00:02:38,674
As you see,
I've set up your bed here.

27
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Some churches put a full-size
Queen Anne in the transept,

28
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but speaking personally,
I don't think it's in fitting.

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I said to Canon Berry man, I said,
"We're not an Airbnb."

30
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"No, Dick", he said,
"we're a Prayer C of E!"

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HE LAUGHS

32
00:02:54,085 --> 00:02:57,794
85 and sharp as a blade.

33
00:02:57,795 --> 00:03:01,824
Many's the time I've seen him
do a Wordle in two.

34
00:03:01,825 --> 00:03:05,804
Ah, yes, um, I set up
a little lounge for you here,

35
00:03:05,805 --> 00:03:08,594
with some literature on the history
of the place.

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Fascinating. Did you know that
in the 15th century...?

37
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Uh, can I ask, um,
do you spend the night here also,

38
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or will you eventually leave?

39
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Oh, I'll soon be out of your hair,
don't worry.

40
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I have to tell you that we've
never had a booking

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on Christmas Eve before!
CARD READER BEEPS

42
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Oh, thank you.

43
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Your wife will be joining you later,
will she?

44
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No, she passed away in the autumn.

45
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I am so sorry.

46
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So sorry — I've charged you
at a two person rate.

47
00:03:41,095 --> 00:03:44,267
I'll void it and start again.
No, no, no. No, please.

48
00:03:44,268 --> 00:03:46,737
I just want to spend
a peaceful night here

49
00:03:46,738 --> 00:03:49,429
alone with my thoughts and memories.

50
00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:53,577
Oh, I'm sure you won't be alone.

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00:03:53,578 --> 00:03:56,088
Merry Christmas, Dr Parkway.

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And God bless us, every one.

53
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SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC

54
00:04:27,068 --> 00:04:28,778
Hello?

55
00:04:38,358 --> 00:04:40,018
Hello?

56
00:04:44,429 --> 00:04:46,458
DISTANT RATTLING

57
00:04:48,578 --> 00:04:50,738
BAUBLE THUDS

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00:05:10,738 --> 00:05:12,818
SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC CONTINUES

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00:05:30,738 --> 00:05:32,179
HE GASPS

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00:05:37,018 --> 00:05:38,708
Mr Wilson...

61
00:05:42,628 --> 00:05:44,508
...is that you?

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DOOR OPENS

63
00:05:47,299 --> 00:05:49,267
Oh, my God, it's freezing!
DOOR CLOSES

64
00:05:49,268 --> 00:05:50,787
I told you it would be.

65
00:05:50,788 --> 00:05:52,787
It's a bloody church,
what did you expect?

66
00:05:52,788 --> 00:05:54,747
What did I expect
on Christmas Eve night?

67
00:05:54,748 --> 00:05:56,457
Oh, I don't know, a Radisson.

68
00:05:56,458 --> 00:05:58,428
Hey, I told you, don't blame me.

69
00:05:58,429 --> 00:06:00,787
Holiday Inn, maybe.
Blame global warming.

70
00:06:00,788 --> 00:06:03,157
Anyway, I asked that old bloke
to try and get us some booze.

71
00:06:03,158 --> 00:06:05,867
Champers for the champers.
That should cheer you up a bit.

72
00:06:05,868 --> 00:06:07,169
Hey, watch this.

73
00:06:09,028 --> 00:06:12,987
Our lager which art in barrels,
hallowed be thy ale.

74
00:06:12,988 --> 00:06:17,817
Thy kegdom come, I will be drunk,
at home, as in the tavern.

75
00:06:17,818 --> 00:06:21,827
Give us this day our foamy head,
and forgive us our spillages,

76
00:06:21,828 --> 00:06:24,737
as we forgive those
who spill against us.

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Deliver us not into inebriation,
for thine is the stout,

78
00:06:28,098 --> 00:06:29,977
the bitter, and the lager,

79
00:06:29,978 --> 00:06:32,147
forever and ever, barmen!

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00:06:32,148 --> 00:06:34,147
HE LAUGHS
You're not funny, you know.

81
00:06:34,148 --> 00:06:37,357
Course I am. Hey, do you want to see
my little white balls...?

82
00:06:37,358 --> 00:06:39,617
Ooh!

83
00:06:39,618 --> 00:06:41,147
Oh, my Lord!

84
00:06:41,148 --> 00:06:43,667
Not quite, I'm afraid.
He arrives in the morning.

85
00:06:43,668 --> 00:06:46,027
You nearly give us a bloody heart
attack! Are you the vicar?

86
00:06:46,028 --> 00:06:48,947
No, no, I'm Dr Parkway, Jasper,

87
00:06:48,948 --> 00:06:52,737
and I'm afraid I have exclusive use
of this church till 10am tomorrow.

88
00:06:52,738 --> 00:06:56,997
Use? I should explain — my mother
passed away earlier this year.

89
00:06:56,998 --> 00:06:58,937
She's buried out in the graveyard.

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00:06:58,938 --> 00:07:03,077
I simply wanted to spend the night
here in quiet contemplation.

91
00:07:03,078 --> 00:07:05,587
Oh, well, we booked it on
the website this morning.

92
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That Dick, the man called Dick, he
said he hadn't seen our email yet.

93
00:07:08,938 --> 00:07:11,617
I'm Pierce. This is my wife, Posy.

94
00:07:11,618 --> 00:07:14,357
Like the flowers. Yeah, because when
her mam got pregnant with her,

95
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the first thing she said was
"Thanks a bunch.”

96
00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:19,148
Ignore him, he's pathetic.
I'm sorry about your mother.

97
00:07:20,439 --> 00:07:22,507
We were supposed to be going to
Lapland yesterday,

98
00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:24,537
only they rang up and said
there wasn't any snow.

99
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How unfortunate.

100
00:07:26,348 --> 00:07:28,827
Yeah. They said we could still go
and they'd put us up in a shed,

101
00:07:28,828 --> 00:07:31,257
but we thought, well, if
it's not an igloo, what's the point?

102
00:07:31,258 --> 00:07:33,308
Well, I hate to disappoint you
but as you can see,

103
00:07:33,309 --> 00:07:35,137
there's only one bed set out.

104
00:07:35,138 --> 00:07:36,977
Don't worry about that.
We've come prepared.

105
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Sleeping bags at the ready.

106
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We'll just set up here beside you.

107
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Who wants a brew?

108
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Oh, sorry.

109
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WIND HOWLS

110
00:07:52,299 --> 00:07:54,747
These biscuits are nice, Po.
Do you want one?

111
00:07:54,748 --> 00:07:57,438
I don't think they're for us,
Pierce, they're like church wafers.

112
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What do you mean?
It's the Eucharist.

113
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The body of Christ.

114
00:08:02,698 --> 00:08:04,617
Oh, shit!

115
00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:07,387
Sorry! They taste like rich teas,
anyway.

116
00:08:07,388 --> 00:08:09,428
The most boring of all biscuits.

117
00:08:09,429 --> 00:08:12,977
Apart from them Nices which,
ironically enough, are horrible.

118
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I'll go and see
if there's anything else.

119
00:08:14,738 --> 00:08:16,597
There's got to be a kitchen
somewhere. Yeah.

120
00:08:16,598 --> 00:08:19,097
Especially with all these
lady vicars now. Idiot.

121
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HE CHUCKLES

122
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CLEARS THROAT

123
00:08:22,628 --> 00:08:26,587
So, are you a religious man, then,
Jaz?

124
00:08:26,588 --> 00:08:28,617
Not particularly, no.

125
00:08:28,618 --> 00:08:31,308
It's the building itself
I'm most interested in.

126
00:08:31,309 --> 00:08:33,428
Oh, right, you're more like
a history doctor, then,

127
00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:35,327
Indiana Jones,
Da Vinci Code stuff?

128
00:08:35,328 --> 00:08:37,547
You could say that, yes.

129
00:08:37,548 --> 00:08:40,787
"Doctor, Doctor, I've got a chip up
my nose, a sausage in my left ear,

130
00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:42,947
"a carrot in my right ear,
what's the matter with me?”

131
00:08:42,948 --> 00:08:45,348
The doctor says,
"You're not eating properly.”

132
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Tough crowd.

133
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POSY SCREAMS

134
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Oh, my good godfathers!

135
00:08:58,608 --> 00:09:00,337
Who is it?

136
00:09:00,338 --> 00:09:01,827
I don't know.

137
00:09:01,828 --> 00:09:04,188
I just pulled back the curtain,
and he were there.

138
00:09:04,189 --> 00:09:05,947
I thought it was Paul Hollywood.

139
00:09:05,948 --> 00:09:07,467
You wouldn't want him
reaching out

140
00:09:07,468 --> 00:09:09,058
and giving you an handshake,
would you?

141
00:09:09,059 --> 00:09:11,058
It's St Nicholas.

142
00:09:11,059 --> 00:09:13,188
The original Santa Claus.

143
00:09:13,189 --> 00:09:15,157
You mean the Coca Cola one?

144
00:09:15,158 --> 00:09:18,337
Uh, a little before that, I believe.

145
00:09:18,338 --> 00:09:20,747
Patron Saint and protector
of children dating back

146
00:09:20,748 --> 00:09:23,787
to around 300 AD,
possibly even earlier.

147
00:09:23,788 --> 00:09:25,467
What's his origin story?

148
00:09:25,468 --> 00:09:27,337
It's not X-Men, Pierce!

149
00:09:27,338 --> 00:09:31,028
Actually, St Nick was an "Avenger"
in his own way.

150
00:09:32,328 --> 00:09:35,438
Three small children
were said to be lost one night,

151
00:09:35,439 --> 00:09:39,467
after straying too far from their
homes whilst playing in the woods.

152
00:09:39,468 --> 00:09:41,947
As darkness fell,
they came across an old building

153
00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:43,977
belonging to a butcher.

154
00:09:43,978 --> 00:09:46,457
He offered them food
and shelter for the night,

155
00:09:46,458 --> 00:09:48,618
and they eagerly accepted
his invitation.

156
00:09:50,179 --> 00:09:54,977
However, once inside,
the butcher set upon the three boys,

157
00:09:54,978 --> 00:09:58,227
slitting their throats one by one.

158
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Bloody hell!

159
00:09:59,468 --> 00:10:01,697
He then cut up the children's bodies

160
00:10:01,698 --> 00:10:05,387
and laid the pieces
in a salting tub,

161
00:10:05,388 --> 00:10:09,309
preserving their flesh to sell
as ham to the nearby villagers.

162
00:10:11,538 --> 00:10:14,827
Seven years had passed when
Nicholas, the Bishop of Myra,

163
00:10:14,828 --> 00:10:17,987
was riding in the woods
and came upon the house.

164
00:10:17,988 --> 00:10:21,148
He demanded that the butcher open up
his barrels of salt.

165
00:10:22,828 --> 00:10:25,907
When he saw the contents,
Nicholas performed a miracle,

166
00:10:25,908 --> 00:10:28,797
restoring the three boys to life
and sending them home

167
00:10:28,798 --> 00:10:30,767
to their astonished parents.

168
00:10:30,768 --> 00:10:32,337
Lucky for them.

169
00:10:32,338 --> 00:10:35,097
The myth also explains
why we now hang pickles

170
00:10:35,098 --> 00:10:37,237
or gherkins as Christmas tree
decorations.

171
00:10:37,238 --> 00:10:39,198
Oh, we've got one of them!
A big green one.

172
00:10:39,199 --> 00:10:41,467
Posy calls it the Grinch's co...
Pierce!

173
00:10:41,468 --> 00:10:45,157
Yes, It's an unusual derivation,
the pickling or preserving

174
00:10:45,158 --> 00:10:48,028
of children's bodies in salt
or vinegar. Mm.

175
00:10:49,698 --> 00:10:52,337
Did you bring any crisps? I think
we've got some cheese puffs.

176
00:10:52,338 --> 00:10:53,778
Oh, right.

177
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SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC

178
00:11:05,108 --> 00:11:08,597
♪ O little town of Bethlehem

179
00:11:08,598 --> 00:11:12,667
♪ How still we see thee thy

180
00:11:12,668 --> 00:11:17,707
♪ Among the hills and daffodils

181
00:11:17,708 --> 00:11:19,827
♪ Do-do-ba-da-do-do-ba... ♪

182
00:11:19,828 --> 00:11:22,517
Would you be quiet, please?
Sorry?

183
00:11:22,518 --> 00:11:24,257
Would you please stop singing?

184
00:11:24,258 --> 00:11:25,747
I'm trying to work.

185
00:11:25,748 --> 00:11:27,468
Oh, yeah.

186
00:11:28,618 --> 00:11:30,097
Sorry.

187
00:11:30,098 --> 00:11:32,318
I'm just getting in the mood.

188
00:11:32,319 --> 00:11:35,237
I'm looking for somewhere nice
to hang my stocking...

189
00:11:35,238 --> 00:11:37,107
How about round your neck?

190
00:11:37,108 --> 00:11:39,877
Pardon?
Uh, anywhere around the nave.

191
00:11:39,878 --> 00:11:41,268
HE CHUCKLES

192
00:11:43,028 --> 00:11:46,257
Have you not got one? I think I've
got a spare in here somewhere...

193
00:11:46,258 --> 00:11:47,309
HE SIGHS

194
00:11:48,988 --> 00:11:51,107
They're a bit laddered
around the gusset,

195
00:11:51,108 --> 00:11:53,227
but you could pop a tangerine in.

196
00:11:53,228 --> 00:11:54,668
That's very kind.

197
00:11:55,818 --> 00:11:58,348
Shall I just hang them on the end
of his bed? Yeah.

198
00:11:59,828 --> 00:12:03,747
♪ O little town of Bethlehem

199
00:12:03,748 --> 00:12:06,827
♪ How still we see thee thy... ♪

200
00:12:06,828 --> 00:12:09,708
SINGING FADES

201
00:12:31,758 --> 00:12:33,958
WET GURGLING

202
00:12:35,828 --> 00:12:37,778
Is somebody there?

203
00:12:40,059 --> 00:12:41,698
GURGLING CONTINUES

204
00:13:31,908 --> 00:13:34,205
TIMBERS CREAK UNDER HIS WEIGHT

205
00:13:36,965 --> 00:13:39,186
BEAMS GROAN

206
00:13:50,895 --> 00:13:53,306
TIMBERS CREAK

207
00:14:10,775 --> 00:14:12,306
SCRAPING

208
00:14:14,405 --> 00:14:16,455
CLUNKING

209
00:14:18,015 --> 00:14:19,904
SCRAPING NEARBY

210
00:14:19,905 --> 00:14:21,385
Hello?

211
00:14:23,465 --> 00:14:26,944
Only me! Just wondered
if you might like to join us

212
00:14:26,945 --> 00:14:29,414
for a little tot of Bristol Cream,
eh?

213
00:14:29,415 --> 00:14:30,615
HE CHUCKLES

214
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,405
Christmas Eve.

215
00:14:36,415 --> 00:14:39,385
The most magical night of the year.

216
00:14:40,825 --> 00:14:43,664
I used to love it when was a kid.
You still are a bloody kid!

217
00:14:43,665 --> 00:14:45,565
Do you have any children?

218
00:14:47,015 --> 00:14:48,664
No.

219
00:14:48,665 --> 00:14:50,214
No, we don't.

220
00:14:50,215 --> 00:14:53,774
Still, um... believe in Santa
though, don't we?

221
00:14:53,775 --> 00:14:58,254
Well, you know, this church
has a unique link to St Nicholas,

222
00:14:58,255 --> 00:15:00,465
hence the display.

223
00:15:01,615 --> 00:15:05,024
Would you like to hear it?
It does involve a ghost.

224
00:15:05,025 --> 00:15:06,624
Oh, now you're talking.

225
00:15:06,625 --> 00:15:08,694
Hey, Doc, pull up a pew!

226
00:15:08,695 --> 00:15:11,344
I'd rather not,
if it's all the same to you.

227
00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:14,894
Oh, come on! A ghost story
for Christmas!? It's perfect.

228
00:15:14,895 --> 00:15:17,424
I don't believe in ghosts,

229
00:15:17,425 --> 00:15:20,774
and I've no interest in
made-up narratives about them.

230
00:15:20,775 --> 00:15:24,764
I assure you, Doctor,
the events I'm about to recount

231
00:15:24,765 --> 00:15:27,575
are not made up. I know that...

232
00:15:28,625 --> 00:15:30,186
...for certain.

233
00:15:33,105 --> 00:15:34,196
Well?

234
00:15:35,825 --> 00:15:39,484
Seems like I don't have much choice,
do I?!

235
00:15:39,485 --> 00:15:40,705
Thank you.

236
00:15:43,695 --> 00:15:47,694
The body of St Nicholas,
like all the great saints,

237
00:15:47,695 --> 00:15:51,204
was harvested for reliquaries
and devotionals.

238
00:15:51,205 --> 00:15:52,684
Sorry, you've lost me already.

239
00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:56,134
Relics are the bones or body parts
of venerated individuals,

240
00:15:56,135 --> 00:15:59,424
often stolen from tombs
and sold all around the world.

241
00:15:59,425 --> 00:16:03,334
They used to be a big business.
They still are.

242
00:16:03,335 --> 00:16:05,744
What would you say
if I were to tell you

243
00:16:05,745 --> 00:16:08,494
that the jawbone of St Nicholas

244
00:16:08,495 --> 00:16:12,694
is hidden in this very building?

245
00:16:12,695 --> 00:16:14,464
Is it?

246
00:16:14,465 --> 00:16:17,494
I can tell you that
it has not yet been found,

247
00:16:17,495 --> 00:16:24,985
but I have reason to believe
that it resides here... somewhere.

248
00:16:26,056 --> 00:16:28,344
And why do you believe that?

249
00:16:28,345 --> 00:16:32,264
Because of what I saw
with my own eyes,

250
00:16:32,265 --> 00:16:37,024
five years ago on Christmas Eve.

251
00:16:37,025 --> 00:16:38,534
Here we go.

252
00:16:38,535 --> 00:16:40,105
Hold my hand, Pierce.

253
00:16:41,105 --> 00:16:44,764
I'd extinguished the last of
the candles, and I was leaving

254
00:16:44,765 --> 00:16:48,185
with just the light from my
phone screen to see me out.

255
00:16:48,186 --> 00:16:49,814
HE CLICKS FINGERS

256
00:16:49,815 --> 00:16:52,264
Why didn't you turn your torch on?

257
00:16:52,265 --> 00:16:53,974
I didn't know it had one.

258
00:16:53,975 --> 00:16:56,774
HE CLICKS FINGERS
Carry on.

259
00:16:56,775 --> 00:17:00,974
I was standing over there
by the pulpit,

260
00:17:00,975 --> 00:17:05,655
and I heard a noise
by the Christmas tree.

261
00:17:07,545 --> 00:17:10,624
I genuinely thought,
"I've really got to be careful here

262
00:17:10,625 --> 00:17:13,104
"because I might end up
locking someone up in the church

263
00:17:13,105 --> 00:17:15,334
"and they might freeze to death."

264
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:18,134
We had that in the school
where I clean.

265
00:17:18,135 --> 00:17:22,384
A homeless man was living in
the gym equipment cupboard,

266
00:17:22,385 --> 00:17:24,774
sleeping in the vaulting box.

267
00:17:24,775 --> 00:17:28,984
The deputy head had to coax him out
with a boneless banquet from KFC,

268
00:17:28,985 --> 00:17:31,334
and the Sally Army came for him.

269
00:17:31,335 --> 00:17:33,204
Have you quite finished?

270
00:17:33,205 --> 00:17:34,495
Sorry.

271
00:17:36,105 --> 00:17:39,215
I walked over
to the Christmas tree...

272
00:17:41,056 --> 00:17:43,575
...and that's when I saw him...

273
00:17:45,186 --> 00:17:48,825
...peeping out
from behind the branches.

274
00:17:50,295 --> 00:17:54,705
A figure in a dark red cloak.

275
00:17:56,645 --> 00:17:59,655
His head bowed.

276
00:18:02,825 --> 00:18:06,015
I kept perfectly still...

277
00:18:08,066 --> 00:18:10,844
...but I wasn't expecting what I saw.

278
00:18:10,845 --> 00:18:15,735
His head slowly lifted... up.

279
00:18:17,575 --> 00:18:19,066
It was so...

280
00:18:20,305 --> 00:18:21,824
...sad.

281
00:18:21,825 --> 00:18:26,224
An old man, with kind eyes,

282
00:18:26,225 --> 00:18:30,575
but such pain behind them.

283
00:18:33,625 --> 00:18:37,625
And below this tender,
imploring face...

284
00:18:40,655 --> 00:18:42,774
...there was no bottom jaw.

285
00:18:42,775 --> 00:18:48,134
Just a black lolling tongue,

286
00:18:48,135 --> 00:18:52,424
dangling down into the space below.

287
00:18:52,425 --> 00:18:56,134
It moaned and clacked,

288
00:18:56,135 --> 00:19:00,424
then it started to come towards me.

289
00:19:00,425 --> 00:19:01,984
That's when I ran.

290
00:19:01,985 --> 00:19:05,504
I ran and ran
and didn't stop till I got home,

291
00:19:05,505 --> 00:19:07,775
and I locked the door behind me.

292
00:19:09,285 --> 00:19:13,425
The next day, Christmas Day...

293
00:19:14,995 --> 00:19:16,625
...when I came back...

294
00:19:18,415 --> 00:19:20,615
...there were footprints.

295
00:19:22,855 --> 00:19:26,705
Black, filthy...

296
00:19:28,545 --> 00:19:32,575
...footprints all around the church.

297
00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:39,734
I believe that his restless spirit
roams around this site,

298
00:19:39,735 --> 00:19:42,654
longing to be whole again,

299
00:19:42,655 --> 00:19:46,941
and finally be at peace.

300
00:19:50,971 --> 00:19:53,002
ALARM BEEPS

301
00:19:53,003 --> 00:19:55,652
Right, I'd better be off.

302
00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:58,342
HE LAUGHS AND CLAPS

303
00:19:58,343 --> 00:20:01,732
That was brilliant! I bet that
shit you up, didn't it, Doc?!

304
00:20:01,733 --> 00:20:04,262
Now do you believe in ghosts?
Of course not.

305
00:20:04,263 --> 00:20:05,972
We are pattern-finding creatures,

306
00:20:05,973 --> 00:20:09,652
and we rationalise what we don't
understand with ridiculous stories.

307
00:20:09,653 --> 00:20:11,292
Now if you don't mind,

308
00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:13,944
I'd like to spend the rest
of the evening in my own company.

309
00:20:20,733 --> 00:20:22,273
Is that sherry free?

310
00:20:29,453 --> 00:20:31,133
HE GRUNTS QUIETLY

311
00:20:42,093 --> 00:20:44,303
HE SNORES QUIETLY

312
00:20:53,383 --> 00:20:56,013
You all right, Po?
Yeah.

313
00:20:57,633 --> 00:20:59,343
Are you thinking about Paisley?

314
00:21:01,814 --> 00:21:04,184
I lit a candle for her.
Aw...

315
00:21:08,623 --> 00:21:10,093
...that's nice.

316
00:21:11,373 --> 00:21:13,064
Be 18 years next Christmas.

317
00:21:16,663 --> 00:21:19,783
I'll book Lapland again.
That'd be nice.

318
00:21:22,853 --> 00:21:25,382
I didn't like Dick's story.

319
00:21:25,383 --> 00:21:28,422
Do you believe him?
No, course not.

320
00:21:28,423 --> 00:21:31,582
Just his party piece.
He'll have one for every season.

321
00:21:31,583 --> 00:21:34,813
Be a giant rabbit at Easter,
witch at Halloween.

322
00:21:34,814 --> 00:21:36,262
What's summer?

323
00:21:36,263 --> 00:21:39,582
Er... beach ghost.

324
00:21:39,583 --> 00:21:41,172
It's just a bloke with trunks on

325
00:21:41,173 --> 00:21:43,252
wandering about with
a bright red face.

326
00:21:43,253 --> 00:21:46,132
A bottle of sunblock.
Yeah, probably.

327
00:21:46,133 --> 00:21:48,783
Why, did it spook you?
A little bit.

328
00:21:51,503 --> 00:21:52,903
It's just...

329
00:21:54,873 --> 00:21:58,343
...that night, when I was pregnant
and I had the accident...

330
00:21:59,703 --> 00:22:01,983
...something happened
that I never told you.

331
00:22:04,703 --> 00:22:06,662
That night...

332
00:22:06,663 --> 00:22:08,943
...you saw a ghost?

333
00:22:08,944 --> 00:22:12,452
Not really. I was just mopping
the floor in reception

334
00:22:12,453 --> 00:22:14,492
when I saw my mother walk past.

335
00:22:14,493 --> 00:22:16,493
I thought,
"Well, what's she doing here?"

336
00:22:18,573 --> 00:22:21,943
I waved at her,
but she didn't say anything,

337
00:22:21,944 --> 00:22:23,663
just stared at me.

338
00:22:25,293 --> 00:22:29,983
Then, suddenly, she put her hand up
on the glass and started to cry.

339
00:22:31,583 --> 00:22:35,934
Mascara running down her face
in black lines.

340
00:22:38,463 --> 00:22:40,702
Then she turned and went off again.

341
00:22:40,703 --> 00:22:43,263
I went to look for her,
but there was no-one there.

342
00:22:45,983 --> 00:22:50,342
That's weird. Anyway, as I was
walking home, I tried phoning her,

343
00:22:50,343 --> 00:22:52,302
and it was as I was dialling

344
00:22:52,303 --> 00:22:55,573
that the motorbike
came off the road and...

345
00:22:59,433 --> 00:23:01,712
Bloody hell.

346
00:23:01,713 --> 00:23:06,302
A few days later, when I was in the
hospital, she came to visit me,

347
00:23:06,303 --> 00:23:08,862
and she told me that that night,

348
00:23:08,863 --> 00:23:11,782
the night of the accident,
she'd had an awful feeling

349
00:23:11,783 --> 00:23:14,502
something bad was going
to happen to me.

350
00:23:14,503 --> 00:23:16,792
I didn't tell her what I'd seen,

351
00:23:16,793 --> 00:23:19,572
then as she was leaving,

352
00:23:19,573 --> 00:23:22,272
she put her hand up on the glass,

353
00:23:22,273 --> 00:23:24,023
and started to cry.

354
00:23:26,703 --> 00:23:29,944
Mascara running down her face
in black lines.

355
00:23:32,064 --> 00:23:33,373
My God.

356
00:23:35,153 --> 00:23:37,532
It wasn't a ghost.

357
00:23:37,533 --> 00:23:39,223
It was a warning.

358
00:23:41,783 --> 00:23:43,663
PHONE RINGS

359
00:23:47,583 --> 00:23:49,512
What's that?

360
00:23:49,513 --> 00:23:51,512
Must be one of them
new—fangled machines

361
00:23:51,513 --> 00:23:53,892
that let you talk to each other
through the air.

362
00:23:53,893 --> 00:23:55,622
Come on.

363
00:23:55,623 --> 00:23:59,022
Hey! Don't leave me!

364
00:23:59,023 --> 00:24:00,303
Pierce!

365
00:24:05,103 --> 00:24:07,103
Don't answer it.

366
00:24:12,944 --> 00:24:14,423
Hello?

367
00:24:21,583 --> 00:24:23,223
It's for you.

368
00:24:31,613 --> 00:24:32,814
Yes?

369
00:24:34,463 --> 00:24:36,823
Boo!
SHE SHRIEKS, HE LAUGHS

370
00:24:36,824 --> 00:24:40,432
You bloody idiot, what are you
playing at?! Who was it?

371
00:24:40,433 --> 00:24:42,933
No-one, they hung up.
Must have been a wrong number.

372
00:24:42,934 --> 00:24:45,423
Come on, it's freezing in here.
HE CHUCKLES

373
00:24:46,863 --> 00:24:48,512
Hey, we forgot to
check our stockings.

374
00:24:48,513 --> 00:24:49,943
Let's see if Santa's been.

375
00:24:49,944 --> 00:24:51,532
What's on your list?

376
00:24:51,533 --> 00:24:54,302
Socks and undies, obviously.
Yeah, obviously.

377
00:24:54,303 --> 00:24:57,742
Handkerchiefs with a P on which'll
never come out of the packet.

378
00:24:57,743 --> 00:25:00,512
Selection box, they're
not as big as they used to be.

379
00:25:00,513 --> 00:25:03,422
All right, Peter Kay!
It's true! What about you?

380
00:25:03,423 --> 00:25:06,382
Um, bath salts?

381
00:25:06,383 --> 00:25:09,752
Um, chocolates full of
some disgusting liqueur.

382
00:25:09,753 --> 00:25:12,422
Oh, and a shit scented candle.

383
00:25:12,423 --> 00:25:16,102
Shit—scented? How do they do that?
You don't want to know.

384
00:25:16,103 --> 00:25:17,503
HE CHUCKLES

385
00:25:19,713 --> 00:25:21,422
WET GURGLING

386
00:25:21,423 --> 00:25:23,662
SHE SCREAMS
Oh, bloody hell!

387
00:25:23,663 --> 00:25:26,222
CHOKING GURGLES

388
00:25:26,223 --> 00:25:27,743
DOOR SLAMS

389
00:25:29,463 --> 00:25:30,623
FABRIC RIPS

390
00:25:32,074 --> 00:25:34,023
Thought they'd never fucking leave.

391
00:25:58,583 --> 00:26:01,173
Ho, ho...

392
00:26:02,583 --> 00:26:03,944
...ho.

393
00:26:05,183 --> 00:26:07,103
Dr Parkway!
Shit!

394
00:26:12,303 --> 00:26:17,103
Dr Parkway, are you there?

395
00:26:19,463 --> 00:26:22,453
I had a phone call from Pierce.

396
00:26:28,663 --> 00:26:34,393
He says he saw something
rather disturbing.

397
00:26:35,583 --> 00:26:37,023
Dr Parkway?

398
00:26:38,223 --> 00:26:40,793
BAUBLE FALLS AND THUDS ON FLOOR

399
00:26:49,383 --> 00:26:51,793
PHONE RINGS

400
00:26:58,313 --> 00:26:59,593
Hello?

401
00:27:02,694 --> 00:27:04,303
Hello?

402
00:27:14,543 --> 00:27:18,382
Doctor? Doctor?

403
00:27:18,383 --> 00:27:25,663
I'm ever so sorry if I frightened
you with what I said earlier.

404
00:27:27,103 --> 00:27:29,704
It was just a story.

405
00:27:45,903 --> 00:27:51,303
There is no ghost here,
I can assure you of that!

406
00:28:00,803 --> 00:28:03,143
Ghosts aren't real!

407
00:28:05,373 --> 00:28:07,312
It wasn't a ghost.

408
00:28:07,313 --> 00:28:08,824
Hello?

409
00:28:12,153 --> 00:28:13,743
It was a warning.

410
00:28:16,153 --> 00:28:18,813
CRASHING, HE CHOKES

411
00:28:18,814 --> 00:28:20,593
WET GURGLING

412
00:28:21,694 --> 00:28:23,954
BAUBLE THUDS

413
00:28:27,944 --> 00:28:29,462
GUST OF AIR

414
00:28:29,463 --> 00:28:31,944
GURGLING

415
00:28:34,613 --> 00:28:36,672
HINGES CREAK

416
00:28:36,673 --> 00:28:39,772
WET GURGLING

417
00:28:39,773 --> 00:28:41,513
Is somebody there?

418
00:28:43,513 --> 00:28:44,983
CLUNKING

419
00:28:46,233 --> 00:28:47,743
SCRAPING

420
00:28:48,704 --> 00:28:50,112
Hello?

421
00:28:50,113 --> 00:28:52,472
CLUNKING, BELL VIBRATES

422
00:28:52,473 --> 00:28:54,473
SCRAPING

423
00:29:09,063 --> 00:29:10,954
Oh, no!

424
00:29:25,773 --> 00:29:28,623
Well, I never!

425
00:29:32,023 --> 00:29:34,113
Merry Christmas.

426
00:29:36,993 --> 00:29:39,782
♪ Ding dong! Merrily on high

427
00:29:39,783 --> 00:29:43,182
♪ In heav'n the bells are ringing

428
00:29:43,183 --> 00:29:51,183
♪ Glo—o—o—o—oria

429
00:29:52,063 --> 00:29:55,953
♪ Hosanna in excelsis

430
00:29:55,954 --> 00:30:01,312
♪ Glo—o—o—o—oria

431
00:30:01,313 --> 00:30:01,449
♪ Glo—o—o—o—oria

432
00:30:01,473 --> 00:30:05,612
♪ Glo-o-o-o-mouths

433
00:30:05,613 --> 00:30:10,423
♪ Hosanna in the highest ♪