1
00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:21,587
AMY:
Can't get over this heat.
2
00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:24,000
MAN: Swear to God,
they put your office
on top of hell.
3
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,690
I know you have to get going.
4
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:28,560
I do. Senator Doyle's
kind of a stickler.
5
00:00:28,628 --> 00:00:31,730
Yeah. Yeah, he seems
like a massive stickler.
6
00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:35,567
Well, like I was saying,
the senator has a lot of
time for filibuster reform.
7
00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:37,881
Bottom line here, Eric,
we need him to sponsor
this bill.
8
00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:39,304
(SNEEZES)
9
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,284
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
Excuse me.
10
00:00:41,308 --> 00:00:44,843
God, this gastric bug,
it's got my head
all jammed up
11
00:00:44,911 --> 00:00:46,973
and my ass is
like the Thunderdome.
12
00:00:46,997 --> 00:00:48,747
Yeah! Boom, come to mama!
13
00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:51,867
Sorry, not you.
This. Excuse me.
14
00:00:51,935 --> 00:00:55,987
Oh, my God,
this heat is
just unbearable.
15
00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:57,689
I feel like a gecko.
16
00:00:57,758 --> 00:01:00,670
Sorry to interrupt,
but fuck-a-deedoo-dah,
fuck-a-dee-ay!
17
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:02,722
Martin at the White House.
What?
18
00:01:02,746 --> 00:01:05,608
"Clean Jobs Task Force
likely to be green lit!"
Exclamation point.
19
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,649
Yeah!
20
00:01:07,718 --> 00:01:08,758
Oh, my God!
21
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:10,618
That is so great for me.
22
00:01:10,688 --> 00:01:13,032
And the country.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what I meant.
23
00:01:13,056 --> 00:01:14,723
Oh, Amy. Good job, Amy.
24
00:01:14,791 --> 00:01:16,257
Good job.
25
00:01:16,327 --> 00:01:17,904
That's why I get paid
the medium bucks.
26
00:01:17,928 --> 00:01:19,260
This is legacy stuff.
27
00:01:19,330 --> 00:01:20,612
SELINA: Yeah, it is.
28
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:23,632
Polluting corporations
held accountable by me.
29
00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:26,501
Dependence on foreign oil
ended by me.
30
00:01:26,570 --> 00:01:28,464
Could you stop that?
AMY: Really close.
31
00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:30,183
I'm gonna get Sue to call
Martin at the White House.
32
00:01:30,207 --> 00:01:33,441
I still need to say goodbye
to Senator Doyle's
Chief of Staff.
33
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,127
Oh! Is he still here?
34
00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:37,474
You know what
I'm gonna do?
Brush past.
35
00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:39,609
Give him a smile to
take back to his boss.
36
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:41,850
Okay.
Which way are you going?
37
00:01:41,919 --> 00:01:43,530
Elevator bank,
first door.
Okay, yup.
38
00:01:43,554 --> 00:01:45,620
AMY: Eric, apologies.
39
00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:47,221
Sue, did the President call?
40
00:01:47,290 --> 00:01:48,568
No.
No? Okay.
41
00:01:48,592 --> 00:01:50,036
ERIC: Everything okay?
Yeah, things are great.
42
00:01:50,060 --> 00:01:52,110
Good.
Things are great.
43
00:01:52,179 --> 00:01:55,830
So, yeah, the Vice President
will see you this afternoon.
44
00:01:55,899 --> 00:01:58,666
We'll see the senator
and yourself.
45
00:01:58,736 --> 00:02:01,870
This is an interesting
piece of paper.
46
00:02:01,939 --> 00:02:04,639
Oh, Madam Vice President,
you remember Eric.
47
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:05,907
Oh, of course. Eric.
48
00:02:05,976 --> 00:02:07,208
Madam Vice President.
49
00:02:07,277 --> 00:02:09,288
How are you?
I've got a little bit
of the bug,
50
00:02:09,312 --> 00:02:11,379
but other than that, I'm good.
51
00:02:11,448 --> 00:02:13,543
I'm sorry to hear that.
Well, drink plenty
of liquid.
52
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,895
That's sort of
a stupid thing
to say, isn't it?
53
00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:18,181
'Cause you can't drink
a solid, can you?
54
00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:20,472
Soup?
55
00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:23,236
Soup is solids suspended
in liquid, so it qualifies
as a liquid.
56
00:02:23,260 --> 00:02:27,061
See that?
Gary was a major at U.Va.
in science.
57
00:02:27,130 --> 00:02:30,265
So occasionally that's of use.
58
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,179
AMY: So we'll see you guys
this afternoon.
59
00:02:33,203 --> 00:02:34,669
Great. Nice to see you.
60
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:35,815
So nice to see you.
61
00:02:35,839 --> 00:02:37,506
Take care.
62
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:38,923
Soup?
63
00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:41,193
Press release
for Selina approval.
64
00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:43,056
Mike, your perspiration...
I know.
65
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,874
I'm just saying.
Can't help it.
Sign of a healthy body.
66
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,676
There are products
available, Mike.
I tried them all.
67
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:49,734
Sweat right through 'em.
I got very large pores.
68
00:02:49,787 --> 00:02:52,320
Hey, guys, quick
sidebar meeting, okay?
69
00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:55,989
AMY: Yeah, yeah,
Senator Lowden's
guy canceled.
70
00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:58,076
He has the gastric flu, too.
71
00:02:58,128 --> 00:03:01,930
His Facebook status is
"May God have mercy
on my boxers."
72
00:03:01,998 --> 00:03:04,716
Yeah, I saw that.
I "Liked" it.
73
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:07,368
Dan, can you get
some more oxygen
in here, please?
74
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,587
Yeah.
75
00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:10,856
This thing is completely
useless, by the way.
76
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,957
Can move more air by farting.
77
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,026
(LAUGHS)
I'm sure you can, ma'am.
78
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:17,873
Those don't open.
Those are
anti-suicide windows.
79
00:03:17,897 --> 00:03:21,044
They only put those in
after you started
working here, right, Gary?
80
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:23,068
So, here's the deal.
81
00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:26,121
Clean Jobs in the bag.
So that's good.
82
00:03:26,189 --> 00:03:29,791
But we've got filibuster
reform talks this afternoon
that we've got to deal with.
83
00:03:29,859 --> 00:03:32,110
So let's nail this,
okay, everybody?
84
00:03:32,162 --> 00:03:33,611
Let's seize the agenda.
85
00:03:33,664 --> 00:03:35,780
You're making it
sound like a coup.
86
00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:38,361
I'm not gonna say I'm not
enjoying the President
being in South Africa.
87
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:42,304
God, wearing
some kind of shawl
at a lion sanctuary.
88
00:03:42,372 --> 00:03:44,550
Did you see that photo?
It's unbelievable.
(LAUGHING)
89
00:03:44,574 --> 00:03:47,809
Anyway, I'm just talking
about redefining...
90
00:03:47,877 --> 00:03:50,878
Dan, what was that
phrase that you used
in our meeting?
91
00:03:50,947 --> 00:03:52,931
What was that?
"Two point me."
92
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,528
"Two point me."
That's exactly right.
I love that.
93
00:03:55,552 --> 00:03:58,153
Ma'am, your two-hour with
Glenn Yates just canceled.
94
00:03:58,222 --> 00:03:59,605
He's got the bug.
95
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:02,307
All right, then that means
I've got two hours free.
96
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,287
Let's capitalize
on this, you guys.
97
00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:06,878
Come on,
let's go somewhere.
Let's meet the public.
98
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,758
You want to
normalize it?
Yes, exactly.
99
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:11,327
I want to meet
some regular normals.
Where we gonna find them?
100
00:04:11,351 --> 00:04:13,652
Photo op with the normals
and the normalistas.
101
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:15,599
There's a book fair...
Oh, my God.
102
00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:17,033
In Adams Morgan.
Too dull, no.
103
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,969
You're not gonna
get a good photo
holding a book.
104
00:04:18,993 --> 00:04:21,571
You need something active.
No, it's like kids
read or something.
105
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,845
Kids are unpredictable.
They wet their pants.
106
00:04:23,913 --> 00:04:25,942
Keep it simple.
Keep it simple.
Yeah, not good.
107
00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:28,967
Ma'am, frozen yoghurt,
all right, is huge in
this town right now.
108
00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:30,852
It's hot out,
let's go to a store.
109
00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:33,805
There's one that I know
that I go to all the time
on U Street.
110
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,985
It's owned by
three generations
of African-Americans.
111
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:38,037
I mean there's
a narrative built right in.
Done. Excellent.
112
00:04:38,061 --> 00:04:39,572
A home run.
It's perfect. Done deal.
113
00:04:39,596 --> 00:04:41,273
We can totally normalize
with those guys.
114
00:04:41,297 --> 00:04:43,832
That's what we're gonna do.
Make it happen, guys.
115
00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:46,067
MIKE: All right,
we're going to
a yoghurt shop.
116
00:04:46,136 --> 00:04:48,414
When was this
"Two point me" meeting
with Selina?
117
00:04:48,438 --> 00:04:50,405
Oh, are you still
tracking my every move?
118
00:04:50,473 --> 00:04:52,340
I thought we agreed to move on.
119
00:04:52,409 --> 00:04:54,220
Move on from what?
We dated for like a week.
120
00:04:54,244 --> 00:04:56,210
It was like getting over
mild food poisoning.
121
00:04:56,279 --> 00:04:58,847
Look, Amy, I am genuinely
sorry that my arrival here
122
00:04:58,915 --> 00:05:02,362
has caused you to become
so self-conscious and
gain a little weight.
123
00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:03,918
Fuck point you.
124
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:06,571
Are we early?
125
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,573
Yeah. I want to
get there early.
126
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,887
I want the people
who are on time to
think that they're late.
127
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,672
Oh, mind games. Love it.
Yeah.
128
00:05:12,696 --> 00:05:15,275
I didn't appreciate
the reference to my
potential suicide earlier.
129
00:05:15,299 --> 00:05:17,165
I'm not a joke.
130
00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:19,345
No, you're the guy with
the big bag of lip balm, Gary.
You're fucking Kissinger.
131
00:05:19,369 --> 00:05:22,014
Every single thing
you say to me
is emasculating.
132
00:05:22,038 --> 00:05:23,772
Do you realize that?
Yes.
133
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:27,442
I think that Senator Doyle
still might go cold on
sponsoring this bill.
134
00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:30,395
We've got to warm him up,
'cause we need his support on
135
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:33,298
"Junk the jams,"
or whatever they're
calling it now.
136
00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:34,599
"Unclog the backlog."
137
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,201
"Unclog the backlog"?
138
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,670
I do a serious job.
139
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:41,618
I'm next to the Veep
more than any other
human being.
140
00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:43,586
You are distantly orbiting her.
141
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,109
I'm her moon.
142
00:05:46,329 --> 00:05:49,348
So would you take a bullet
for the Veep, Gary?
143
00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:51,349
Oh, my God.
No, no, no.
144
00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:54,618
Because, you know,
you're gonna be right
in the line of fire.
145
00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:58,050
It's not my job.
I would help her
if she was down.
146
00:05:58,074 --> 00:06:00,185
Right, with the lip balm
if she got shot in the lips.
147
00:06:00,209 --> 00:06:01,587
That could crack 'em pretty bad.
148
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:04,011
Great, we missed the elevators.
149
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:09,367
Doyle is essential.
He's the Russian
doll of the Senate.
150
00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:11,737
Comes with little
senators inside of him.
151
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,438
Gary, can I have a Kleenex?
152
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:15,874
Where are my people?
Oh, here they go.
153
00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:17,108
Come on.
154
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:18,488
Don't shoot. Don't shoot.
Please don't shoot.
155
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:20,862
DAN: Shoot him.
You can shoot him.
156
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:23,248
SELINA: Where the hell
did you go?
157
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,611
Dan, you're gonna
have to go in the limo.
Sure, yeah.
158
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:29,031
Ma'am, I think we should start
ramping up the whole launch
of "Two point you" right now.
159
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:32,095
Just kind of put a little
hint out there about what
Clean Jobs is gonna be.
160
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,203
Yeah, I think the same thing.
161
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,307
I can get right on this.
162
00:06:34,344 --> 00:06:36,477
Leon West has given me
his private cell.
163
00:06:36,546 --> 00:06:39,358
Oh, good. All right,
let's set up 10 minutes
of face time with him
164
00:06:39,382 --> 00:06:41,549
after the Doyle meeting.
Copy that, I'm on it.
165
00:06:41,618 --> 00:06:43,250
(SIRENS BLARING)
166
00:06:50,793 --> 00:06:52,760
You know what?
I'm nervous about Doyle.
167
00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:53,940
He can be a real hogfucker.
168
00:06:53,964 --> 00:06:54,996
He's a stickler.
169
00:06:55,065 --> 00:06:56,898
Wait a minute.
Hand sanitizer, ma'am.
170
00:06:56,966 --> 00:06:59,429
You know what I heard?
Senator Doyle wears
pantyhose.
171
00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:01,319
(AMY LAUGHS)
Oh, really?
172
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:04,216
No. But now that
you have that image,
he's not that scary.
173
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:08,560
Oh, listen, tell Dan
to start working on
the yoghurt store, okay?
174
00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:12,029
Wait a minute, Gary.
Gary, this is way
too much.
175
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,382
What do you want me
to do? What?
176
00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:19,782
Okay, let's not
do that again,
all right?
177
00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:21,740
(ERIC COUGHING)
Andrew, how are you?
178
00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:23,336
Madam Vice President,
a pleasure.
179
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,080
Oh, come on.
Selina, please.
180
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:27,561
Let's play this one by the book.
181
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:28,996
Eric, of course.
182
00:07:29,065 --> 00:07:30,565
Yes, we just saw him
this morning.
183
00:07:30,634 --> 00:07:32,567
Yeah, you spoke about soup.
184
00:07:32,636 --> 00:07:33,876
(COUGHS)
185
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:38,189
So should we get to it?
186
00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:39,323
Let's get to it.
187
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:40,441
Let's... Okay.
188
00:07:40,510 --> 00:07:41,787
I'm gonna lighten
this up a little bit.
189
00:07:41,811 --> 00:07:43,044
Please. Please do.
190
00:07:43,112 --> 00:07:44,352
Hi, everybody.
191
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,819
Well, we have lots
to talk about.
192
00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:54,322
Yup, let's do some talking.
193
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,924
You need me to
sponsor this bill.
194
00:07:55,993 --> 00:07:57,642
Yes, I do.
195
00:07:57,711 --> 00:08:00,273
I do need you to do that.
And I want to know
what you need from me.
196
00:08:00,297 --> 00:08:03,848
What do you need?
You need some
non-earmark earmarks?
197
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:06,317
You need support during
your reelection campaign?
198
00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:10,605
I just won't be photographed
eating a hot dog or any other
phallic food.
199
00:08:10,674 --> 00:08:12,273
Oops. (LAUGHS)
200
00:08:12,341 --> 00:08:13,992
That was a mistake.
201
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:15,738
Really don't need
any of that, ma'am.
Okay.
202
00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:17,696
What I need is very simple.
203
00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:19,709
Actually,
what I would like...
(SELINA SCREAMS)
204
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,533
What the hell, Eric?
205
00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:23,312
What was that?
What just happened?
206
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,747
He was gonna
sneeze on you
and I blocked it.
207
00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:26,337
I am so sorry,
Madam Vice President.
208
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:28,918
That is nice work, Eric.
I mean, you want to
take another shot?
209
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:31,176
I don't think we're drenched
at this end of the table.
210
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:33,494
Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
That scared me to death.
211
00:08:33,563 --> 00:08:36,348
He can be a gold-plated
fucking shit gibbon.
212
00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:37,527
He works for you.
213
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:39,028
I mean, he almost
sneezed in your face.
214
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,281
I think it's treason.
Let me get you
a cup of coffee.
215
00:08:41,305 --> 00:08:43,171
I would love a cup of coffee.
216
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,190
Oh, my goodness.
217
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,342
Listen, I've got this
covered now.
218
00:08:47,411 --> 00:08:49,689
Okay? Why don't you
go round up
a few more senators?
219
00:08:49,713 --> 00:08:52,480
Okay, you sure?
Mmm-hmm.
Filibuster smackdown.
220
00:08:52,548 --> 00:08:54,782
That's what I call it.
All right, dig it.
Thank you.
221
00:08:54,851 --> 00:08:58,402
Oh, wow.
I'm shaking from that.
Are you guys?
222
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:02,774
No, we perfectly understand
Senator Murray's reservations.
223
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:06,528
Yeah, of course,
she must be guided
by her conscience.
224
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:08,307
No hard feelings whatsoever.
225
00:09:08,331 --> 00:09:10,331
MIKE: Uh, Dan?
Yeah?
226
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,650
I hope you don't take this
the wrong way,
227
00:09:12,702 --> 00:09:15,681
but can I just say
you kinda look
like an asshole.
228
00:09:15,705 --> 00:09:17,622
Hello.
Did you tell them, Amy?
229
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:20,024
I...
Oh, come on. Come on.
230
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:21,504
I took a bullet for the Veep.
231
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:22,844
How'd you take a bullet, Gary?
232
00:09:22,912 --> 00:09:25,313
It was a sneeze bullet.
Right in the face.
233
00:09:25,382 --> 00:09:27,882
Saved Selina from the bug.
Pure instinct.
234
00:09:27,951 --> 00:09:30,534
It was like a dirty bomb
and I... Bam!
235
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:32,520
Dived on it. Mmm!
236
00:09:32,588 --> 00:09:34,339
Hey, it's the flunkies.
237
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:36,152
And people say
you're bad at your jobs.
238
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:38,170
You here to spy, Jonah?
I'm not here to spy.
239
00:09:38,194 --> 00:09:40,573
I work at the White House,
so I can just walk in
and say,
240
00:09:40,597 --> 00:09:42,758
"I'm from the White House.
What the fuck are you doing?"
241
00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:44,716
What? You work
at the White House?
242
00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:46,562
Oh, my God.
Can I blow you?
243
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,986
Uh, yes, you can.
244
00:09:48,038 --> 00:09:49,782
I will meet you
out in the hallway
in a few seconds.
245
00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:51,467
MIKE: Sure,
I'll get a stepladder.
246
00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:53,469
Anyway,
I work for the White House.
What the fuck are you doing?
247
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:56,853
Trying to figure out what
flavor frozen yoghurt
the Veep should get.
248
00:10:00,917 --> 00:10:03,051
Mint.
249
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:07,088
It implies freshness,
trust, traditional values.
250
00:10:07,157 --> 00:10:08,322
Fascinating.
251
00:10:08,391 --> 00:10:09,585
This is one of my areas.
252
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,220
Yeah.
Food choices.
Seriously, put it up.
253
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:14,507
Oh! Swirl.
Racial harmony and
crossing the aisle.
254
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:16,209
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
So is cookies and cream.
255
00:10:16,233 --> 00:10:18,211
White House.
This is Jonah.
256
00:10:18,235 --> 00:10:20,000
Okay. Watch your head.
257
00:10:20,069 --> 00:10:23,721
Oh, fuck you.
No, not you, sir.
258
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:26,691
Very excited about this
filibuster reform bill.
259
00:10:26,743 --> 00:10:28,343
That is great to hear.
260
00:10:28,411 --> 00:10:30,678
If you can get
a Senate reform bill
261
00:10:30,747 --> 00:10:32,947
through the place
it's designed to reform,
262
00:10:33,016 --> 00:10:34,782
that would be amazing.
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
263
00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:40,238
I mean, that would be
like persuading a guy
to fist himself.
264
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,290
(CHUCKLES) Jesus Christ.
265
00:10:44,194 --> 00:10:47,228
Tell me, Mr. Flatterbox,
what do you need
from me, really?
266
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:53,200
Well, I need you
to keep oil guys off
the Clean Jobs Task Force.
267
00:10:53,270 --> 00:10:54,480
Don't do this to me, Andrew.
268
00:10:54,504 --> 00:10:56,198
I'm going to do it to you, yup.
269
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:58,222
This is a nuanced area.
270
00:10:58,275 --> 00:10:59,918
You are not
in the pocket of oil?
271
00:10:59,942 --> 00:11:02,327
No, I'm not in
the pocket of oil. No.
272
00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:04,162
So we can make this work.
273
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:06,464
I'm eager to be
constructive.
Right.
274
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:09,918
It seems to me that somehow
we can make this happen,
then I'd...
275
00:11:09,986 --> 00:11:12,804
Deal. You keep oil guys
off Clean Jobs,
276
00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:14,717
I will sponsor
the filibuster bill.
277
00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:16,975
We can work...
278
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:18,776
This out.
279
00:11:18,828 --> 00:11:20,895
Great. Terrific.
Wonderful.
280
00:11:20,964 --> 00:11:22,780
Coffee.
Hmm?
281
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:26,301
Cup?
Oh, uh-huh. Sure.
282
00:11:26,369 --> 00:11:29,003
Gary, Senator Doyle's guy
looks like he's dying.
283
00:11:29,072 --> 00:11:31,984
If I were you, I would go
straight to the pharmacy
and take one of everything.
284
00:11:32,008 --> 00:11:33,786
I'm gonna have a blowout
if I walk to the pharmacy.
285
00:11:33,810 --> 00:11:35,287
That's what I'm worried about.
286
00:11:35,311 --> 00:11:36,956
If you're gonna
shit your pants,
I don't want you here.
287
00:11:36,980 --> 00:11:39,058
I think I did the right thing,
288
00:11:39,082 --> 00:11:42,311
but I just need you
to confirm that I did
the right thing.
289
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:43,868
I said something to someone.
290
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:46,938
What exactly did you say,
ma'am, and to who?
291
00:11:46,990 --> 00:11:48,522
To whom.
292
00:11:48,591 --> 00:11:51,559
Senator Doyle said that
he would sponsor the bill...
293
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:52,722
MIKE: Oh!
294
00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:55,346
If we keep oil
off of Clean Jobs.
295
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:58,349
And there was
an implication, perhaps...
296
00:11:58,417 --> 00:12:00,351
(STAMMERS)
297
00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:01,919
You didn't say yes?
298
00:12:01,988 --> 00:12:03,037
No.
299
00:12:03,105 --> 00:12:05,139
I didn't say, "Yes."
300
00:12:05,208 --> 00:12:07,342
I said, "Yeah."
301
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:10,428
Okay, well, we told oil
we'd put one of their guys
on Clean Jobs.
302
00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:11,740
That's why we got away
with the cutlery tweet.
303
00:12:11,764 --> 00:12:12,858
I know, I know.
304
00:12:12,882 --> 00:12:13,925
AMY:
She's aware of that.
305
00:12:13,949 --> 00:12:15,344
Okay, I was charmed by Doyle.
306
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:16,946
He's got that little
twinkle in his eye.
307
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,681
He was talking about
fisting people.
308
00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:21,806
He just niced me.
I got niced, all right?
309
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,786
And where were you,
Amy, by the way?
Where were you?
310
00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:25,521
No, you said you had it covered.
311
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:27,723
No, I didn't have it covered.
And it's your job to know
312
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,091
that if I say I have it covered,
313
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:30,576
I don't have it covered
and you cover me.
314
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:34,469
I need you all to make me
have not said that.
315
00:12:34,538 --> 00:12:37,338
I need you to have
make me unsaid it.
316
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:39,306
Okay. Let's just
slow down for a second.
317
00:12:39,376 --> 00:12:41,387
Make two columns,
one with filibuster,
one with Clean Jobs,
318
00:12:41,411 --> 00:12:43,572
because now they are versus.
319
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,030
Doyle gives us filibuster,
so put him there.
320
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:49,133
Okay, but oil gives us
Clean Jobs.
321
00:12:49,201 --> 00:12:50,729
Clean Jobs
is your legacy.
Yes.
322
00:12:50,753 --> 00:12:52,547
Hold on a second.
What?
323
00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:57,207
What if we put an ex-oil guy
on the task force?
324
00:12:57,276 --> 00:13:00,089
You see what I'm saying?
Someone who's cozy with
oil, but not active oil.
325
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,496
Former oil.
326
00:13:01,564 --> 00:13:02,747
That's lying.
327
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,483
Creative semantics.
328
00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:08,035
That's a creatively semantic
way of saying we're lying.
329
00:13:08,104 --> 00:13:09,720
Still creative.
330
00:13:09,772 --> 00:13:12,407
MIKE: Oh, hey, Jonah.
Jonah. Jonah.
331
00:13:12,475 --> 00:13:14,353
AMY: That we...
Yeah, that we might like.
332
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:16,994
What I'm saying is that
we go with what I just said,
333
00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:20,865
the Jamaican rum flavor.
334
00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:25,369
That's a really
strong flavor choice.
335
00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:27,204
I mean, it's unexpected,
336
00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:29,206
it's funky, it's kind of sexual.
337
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:32,293
Yeah, I don't want to make
too quick of a decision.
338
00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:35,129
Let's consider other flavors.
339
00:13:35,198 --> 00:13:36,631
Like vanilla.
340
00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:37,865
JONAH: Oh, come on.
341
00:13:37,934 --> 00:13:39,567
Vanilla is a girl's flavor.
342
00:13:39,636 --> 00:13:41,852
No, I have no choice here, Amy.
343
00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:44,155
Because I was backed
into a corner.
344
00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:47,225
So other flavors aren't
an option for me, okay?
345
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:49,561
Perhaps if you had
done your job better,
346
00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:52,163
then I could choose
vanilla or chocolate
347
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:54,376
or fucking blueberry with
fucking sprinkles on it.
348
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,367
But that's not
an option for me, okay?
349
00:13:56,435 --> 00:13:58,247
That flavor is not
an option for me.
AMY: Okay.
350
00:13:58,271 --> 00:14:00,182
You know,
I think Jamaican rum
is a great choice.
351
00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:02,423
And your passion about it
is gonna sell it.
352
00:14:02,492 --> 00:14:04,770
I'm confused.
Are we still talking
about yoghurt here?
353
00:14:04,794 --> 00:14:07,929
We're gonna go
with Dan's idea.
AMY: Okay.
354
00:14:07,997 --> 00:14:10,898
Jamaican rum is where
we are headed.
355
00:14:10,967 --> 00:14:13,512
All right?
Jamaican rum, mon.
AMY: Okay.
356
00:14:13,536 --> 00:14:16,837
That's good. Maybe we
don't need the accent.
357
00:14:16,906 --> 00:14:18,606
Hey, Dan.
Yeah?
358
00:14:18,675 --> 00:14:21,309
Leon West is down
at front security for you.
359
00:14:21,377 --> 00:14:23,477
Leon West?
Leon West is here for you?
360
00:14:23,546 --> 00:14:25,424
The journalist?
The Beltway Butcher?
361
00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:27,859
Don't you worry for
one second, all right?
I'm not worried.
362
00:14:27,883 --> 00:14:29,662
I'm gonna take him
to the yoghurt store.
I'm not worried
363
00:14:29,686 --> 00:14:31,797
because you are
gonna get rid of him.
You're gonna kill him
364
00:14:31,821 --> 00:14:35,021
and you're gonna do life
for murder and I never have
to see your face again.
365
00:14:36,493 --> 00:14:38,303
You know, if I wash
my hands any more,
366
00:14:38,327 --> 00:14:40,072
the bones are
gonna come through.
367
00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:41,378
Hey, where is Dan?
368
00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:43,480
He's at the yoghurt store.
369
00:14:43,533 --> 00:14:46,166
Gary, are you all right?
Are you getting the bug?
370
00:14:46,235 --> 00:14:48,469
No, I'm... Oh!
371
00:14:48,538 --> 00:14:51,339
Okay, you're not
gonna like this.
What?
372
00:14:51,407 --> 00:14:53,502
White House press guys
have just been in touch.
373
00:14:53,526 --> 00:14:56,594
POTUS wants to announce
Clean Jobs Task Force
374
00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:59,063
next week when he is
back from Africa.
375
00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:02,210
We now go over live
to the Vice President
for her pissed-off reaction.
376
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:05,269
Come on. He wants to
announce it next week?
377
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:06,370
Yeah.
378
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:07,679
Okay, it's my policy.
379
00:15:07,723 --> 00:15:09,235
He's sliding in.
Who knows?
380
00:15:09,259 --> 00:15:11,091
He's... Yeah,
that feels like a slide.
381
00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:13,372
This happens every time,
does it not?
Yes.
382
00:15:13,396 --> 00:15:15,641
It's like Charlie Brown
and the football.
Yeah.
383
00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,459
We're gonna have to
rewind this, okay?
384
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:19,716
Because I've got Dan
backgrounding it right now.
385
00:15:19,785 --> 00:15:21,319
What? You asked Dan
to do that?
386
00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:22,653
Yeah, I did.
387
00:15:22,721 --> 00:15:25,050
I asked him
because of the whole
"Veep point two" thing.
388
00:15:25,074 --> 00:15:27,508
"Two point me."
(GROANS)
389
00:15:27,577 --> 00:15:29,577
The "Two point me" thing.
390
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:31,873
Now you have to call him
and tell him to stay quiet.
391
00:15:31,897 --> 00:15:35,016
And you've got to go down
to that yoghurt store.
392
00:15:35,084 --> 00:15:36,928
You didn't just roll
your eyes, did you?
393
00:15:36,952 --> 00:15:38,030
No, ma'am.
394
00:15:38,054 --> 00:15:39,331
'Cause it sure
looked like it to me.
395
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,272
I can't stand that
passive-aggressive stuff.
396
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:44,625
This whole day is
turning apocalyptic now.
397
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:47,327
Okay?
Okay.
398
00:15:48,631 --> 00:15:50,163
DAN: Leon, hi.
399
00:15:50,232 --> 00:15:51,466
Just right in here.
400
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,250
Okay, Dan, a very
obscure rendezvous.
401
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:57,288
So you either have
a very hot story for me,
or you're going to shoot me.
402
00:15:57,357 --> 00:16:01,326
I have got a story for you.
Things are about to get
very Veep-tastic.
403
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:04,061
Mr. Egan.
Good to see you.
Anthony.
404
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,630
How are you, sir?
405
00:16:05,699 --> 00:16:08,282
We are very excited about
the Vice President's visit
today.
406
00:16:08,351 --> 00:16:10,913
As are we.
My son has named
a yoghurt after her.
407
00:16:10,937 --> 00:16:13,820
Strawberry Selina.
It's very tasty.
408
00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,501
Great name.
Who's this one?
409
00:16:15,525 --> 00:16:17,792
Leon West, ma'am.
Washington Post.
410
00:16:17,861 --> 00:16:19,460
Oh, we don't get the Post.
411
00:16:19,529 --> 00:16:22,663
This is an old,
established family store.
412
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:26,884
And we spell yoghurt
with an "H" right there
in the middle.
413
00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:28,419
I see that.
I'll make a note of it.
414
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,299
Hey, Dan.
You haven't been
picking up your phone.
415
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,490
Yeah, I've been
a little bit busy, Mike.
416
00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:34,078
Hello, Leon.
Hi, Mike.
417
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:37,440
Mike, this is Anthony,
the owner of the store.
418
00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:39,007
And his lovely mother Maria.
419
00:16:39,031 --> 00:16:40,351
You have on a very sweaty shirt.
420
00:16:40,383 --> 00:16:43,384
(LAUGHS) By golly, I do.
He does, yeah.
421
00:16:43,452 --> 00:16:46,003
She speaks her mind.
She's 84.
422
00:16:46,072 --> 00:16:48,706
No. I had you
pegged for 39, ma'am.
423
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:50,842
Mike is so good with facts.
424
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:54,612
We are both
very big supporters
of this administration.
425
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,292
We appreciate that.
Thank you.
426
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:58,115
Although it's not always easy.
427
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,651
A lot of taxes you guys impose.
428
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,598
A ton of taxes.
Hold on a second.
429
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:04,989
Those taxes are eating us alive.
430
00:17:05,058 --> 00:17:06,451
Gobble, gobble.
This isn't officially...
431
00:17:06,475 --> 00:17:08,404
If you'd excuse us
for one moment.
432
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:10,789
Dan, can I talk
to you for a second?
Just one second.
433
00:17:10,813 --> 00:17:13,892
POTUS interruptus,
that's what I call it.
And I'm gonna tell him that.
434
00:17:13,916 --> 00:17:16,245
Madam Vice President,
you can't go back in there
for future meetings.
435
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:18,614
What? No. Let me
tell you something.
436
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:21,678
You tell that
shit-for-brains
President...
437
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:24,020
Madam Vice President,
if you would listen to me
for just one moment.
438
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,804
No, I won't listen
to you for one second.
439
00:17:25,828 --> 00:17:28,095
I'm not interested in...
Please be quiet!
440
00:17:28,163 --> 00:17:31,398
The President
is experiencing
severe chest pains.
441
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:32,907
We just got word
from South Africa.
442
00:17:32,935 --> 00:17:35,319
You need to get
to the West Wing
immediately.
443
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:36,420
Oh.
444
00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:40,491
I'm so sorry.
445
00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:43,611
Ma'am, if you could
just make your way
in this direction, please.
446
00:17:44,714 --> 00:17:46,547
Where are we going?
447
00:17:46,616 --> 00:17:50,334
We're gonna take you
to the White House
situation room.
448
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,481
Amy, are you here?
I am right by your side.
449
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:54,483
Wait, where is Gary?
Gary, are you here?
I'm right here.
450
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:57,236
I'm right here.
What the hell?
I'm with her.
451
00:17:57,260 --> 00:17:58,575
SELINA: Should we run?
452
00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:00,511
Leon West? Here?
453
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,462
That's the fucking
Beltway Butcher.
454
00:18:02,532 --> 00:18:04,315
Have you told him
about Clean Jobs yet?
455
00:18:04,367 --> 00:18:06,578
Yeah, you know what,
I was just about to,
shit stack.
456
00:18:06,602 --> 00:18:08,135
Enjoy, gentlemen.
457
00:18:08,204 --> 00:18:09,386
Oh, thank you.
458
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:12,039
We got Leon West here
and nothing to give him.
459
00:18:12,107 --> 00:18:13,284
I've got plenty to give him.
460
00:18:13,308 --> 00:18:15,109
No, you don't.
461
00:18:15,178 --> 00:18:17,923
POTUS wants us to announce
Clean Jobs Task Force
next week when he's in town.
462
00:18:17,947 --> 00:18:20,798
So you, my friend,
have your cock out
at a funeral.
463
00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:22,549
Sprinkles.
Come on.
464
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,274
God.
465
00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:33,343
Do you ever write about
yoghurt in your newspaper?
466
00:18:33,412 --> 00:18:36,546
No, I don't.
I'm not a food writer.
467
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:38,883
What do you write?
468
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,568
I write about politics.
469
00:18:40,636 --> 00:18:44,705
I'm interested in lobbying,
advocacy groups.
470
00:18:44,774 --> 00:18:47,574
Do you know how yoghurt is made?
471
00:18:47,643 --> 00:18:49,554
No, but I'm sure
it's fascinating.
472
00:18:49,578 --> 00:18:50,878
Don't patronize me.
473
00:18:50,947 --> 00:18:52,187
All right, you got it.
474
00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:58,468
Oh, gentlemen.
475
00:18:58,537 --> 00:19:00,387
Madam Vice President.
Yes?
476
00:19:00,456 --> 00:19:02,234
These would need to be
dealt with pretty urgently
477
00:19:02,258 --> 00:19:03,636
should the situation
become more serious.
478
00:19:03,660 --> 00:19:08,596
We have a Captain Reynolds
of the USS Abraham Lincoln.
479
00:19:08,665 --> 00:19:10,743
Aircraft carrier.
(SNEEZES)
480
00:19:10,767 --> 00:19:13,734
He's expecting
a conference call
in about 15 minutes
481
00:19:13,803 --> 00:19:17,572
with the President,
Secretary of State
and General Marsh.
482
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,406
Pentagon.
483
00:19:19,475 --> 00:19:21,609
Could you step in
notionally?
Yes.
484
00:19:21,677 --> 00:19:23,321
Thank you.
No problem at all.
Thank you.
485
00:19:23,345 --> 00:19:25,424
Madam Vice President,
may I get you a cup
of coffee?
486
00:19:25,448 --> 00:19:26,741
Oh, yes, thank you, Jonah.
487
00:19:26,765 --> 00:19:29,549
Excuse me. Pardon me.
488
00:19:29,619 --> 00:19:31,552
Have you noticed how he's...
489
00:19:31,621 --> 00:19:33,498
Yeah, he thinks I'm
about to be his boss.
490
00:19:33,522 --> 00:19:36,051
Yeah, he's gonna
be the first to go,
by the way.
491
00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:38,125
Okay.
Dead man walking.
492
00:19:38,193 --> 00:19:40,360
Dan.
Yes?
493
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:43,258
Can I get a heads-up?
'Cause I'm standing over
here like a fucking meerkat.
494
00:19:43,282 --> 00:19:46,584
Yes. The truth is I had
a huge story to give you.
495
00:19:46,652 --> 00:19:48,151
It's just been back-burnered.
496
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:49,570
Oh, sorry.
497
00:19:49,639 --> 00:19:52,256
No, no, listen.
Mike is on his way out,
all right?
498
00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:54,444
Either he or his arteries
are gonna quit any second.
499
00:19:54,476 --> 00:19:56,576
I'm the new face of
the Veep's office, okay?
500
00:19:56,646 --> 00:19:58,229
I can bring you major scoops.
501
00:19:58,297 --> 00:19:59,958
You can bring me major scoops?
502
00:19:59,982 --> 00:20:02,349
Come on, I major in major.
503
00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:04,417
Stop doing that.
I'm sorry.
504
00:20:04,487 --> 00:20:05,887
Should I just put this
right here?
505
00:20:05,921 --> 00:20:08,117
Yeah, just
put it down, okay?
Thank you.
506
00:20:08,141 --> 00:20:10,557
Um...
507
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:13,405
If we could just
have some quiet, please.
Thank you very much.
508
00:20:13,429 --> 00:20:14,862
JONAH: Quiet.
509
00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:18,115
Ladies and gentlemen...
510
00:20:18,183 --> 00:20:19,417
(CLEARS THROAT)
511
00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:22,819
We come here today
in togetherness
512
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,756
and in hope, certainly hope,
513
00:20:25,824 --> 00:20:30,077
for the swift recovery of
this great, great President
514
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:34,365
who has been a...
515
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:39,620
faultless GPS
in guiding our nation.
516
00:20:39,688 --> 00:20:43,157
We stand here today
with courage in our hearts...
517
00:20:43,226 --> 00:20:44,492
(COUGHS)
518
00:20:46,094 --> 00:20:48,028
Oh, Jesus Christ.
519
00:20:49,031 --> 00:20:51,064
Let us pray.
520
00:20:51,133 --> 00:20:52,399
(GROANS)
521
00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:57,738
Holy mother of God
and sweet Jesus Christ.
522
00:21:00,576 --> 00:21:02,426
Where is she?
I apologize.
523
00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:05,229
We'll have some information
soon for you, okay, Anthony?
524
00:21:05,297 --> 00:21:07,926
And you know what? You guys
can just act naturally like
you'd normally act.
525
00:21:07,950 --> 00:21:10,885
Great.
Brilliant normalizing.
I'm normal.
526
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:13,615
Yes, sir.
Where is she, Dan?
I don't know.
527
00:21:13,639 --> 00:21:15,884
My balls are
comprehensively
busted here.
528
00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:17,185
I'm down to my reserve pair.
529
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:18,787
Look, Mike, I've got Sue.
530
00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:20,689
She's gonna call me
any second. Just give me
a fucking break.
531
00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:22,791
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
Bingo, Amy.
I guess I'll fill you in.
532
00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:25,283
Amy, what the duck?
533
00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:27,217
That screaming, falling sound
534
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:29,097
was my fucking patience
going out the window.
535
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,683
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
Sue?
536
00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:32,518
Okay, Dan, listen up.
This is very important.
537
00:21:32,542 --> 00:21:34,142
The Veep has gone
to the White House.
538
00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:35,954
The President is
having a heart attack.
539
00:21:35,978 --> 00:21:37,912
Dan, look at me
with your stupid eyes.
540
00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:40,658
Stop talking to that man,
Dan. Stop talking to
that man and focus.
541
00:21:40,682 --> 00:21:43,295
Sue, can you please
just repeat that part
one more time for me?
542
00:21:43,319 --> 00:21:46,253
Selina is currently the most
powerful woman in the world.
543
00:21:46,322 --> 00:21:49,667
And obviously you cannot
tell anyone this or she
will have you destroyed.
544
00:21:49,691 --> 00:21:51,425
Understood?
Dan.
545
00:21:51,493 --> 00:21:54,228
You have to give me
something right now.
546
00:21:55,831 --> 00:21:57,275
Oh, fuck it,
it's gonna break anyway.
547
00:21:57,299 --> 00:21:59,110
Yeah, as a matter of fact,
Selina Meyers...
548
00:21:59,134 --> 00:22:02,336
Is gonna come here
in a second and order
Jamaican rum with sprinkles.
549
00:22:03,789 --> 00:22:09,527
Okay, your working life just
got 80% more fucked! Okay?
550
00:22:09,595 --> 00:22:12,929
From now on, you bleached,
plucked asshole,
551
00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:15,332
I am your fucking
Siamese stalker.
552
00:22:17,403 --> 00:22:19,914
Mike, always a pleasure
to see you be a stupid
asshole.
553
00:22:19,938 --> 00:22:22,122
I'm hearing some language
that I don't like.
554
00:22:22,191 --> 00:22:24,325
Yeah?
ANTHONY:
What are you saying?
555
00:22:24,393 --> 00:22:26,721
Forget it.
No, wait a minute.
What are you saying?
556
00:22:26,745 --> 00:22:28,623
What is he talking about?
Nothing. Nothing.
557
00:22:28,647 --> 00:22:31,815
No, you guys live in
your own little world
558
00:22:31,884 --> 00:22:34,518
with your heads stuck up
your Capitol Hill asses.
559
00:22:34,587 --> 00:22:37,688
And you, you gay,
Irish fireman,
you're okay.
560
00:22:37,757 --> 00:22:40,424
But you, you I do not like.
561
00:22:40,492 --> 00:22:42,126
(WHISPERING)
562
00:22:42,195 --> 00:22:44,094
SELINA: Amy.
Yeah?
563
00:22:44,163 --> 00:22:47,882
If Gary is sick,
I'm gonna need
a temporary body man.
564
00:22:47,950 --> 00:22:50,818
Sure. Oh, and I told Sue
to drop the yoghurt store.
565
00:22:50,886 --> 00:22:53,537
I don't have room
in my head for yoghurt.
566
00:22:53,606 --> 00:22:55,717
Madam Vice President,
we've been asked to tell you
567
00:22:55,741 --> 00:22:58,141
that you may stand down,
the President is fine.
568
00:23:00,245 --> 00:23:02,880
Well, that's terrific news.
569
00:23:02,949 --> 00:23:04,726
Thank God.
Mmm-hmm.
570
00:23:04,750 --> 00:23:07,301
Crossed wires.
POTUS just
suffered heartburn
571
00:23:07,370 --> 00:23:10,704
after a traditional barbecue
at the state function.
572
00:23:10,772 --> 00:23:12,739
Are you absolutely sure that...
573
00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:14,858
No, the President is... Uh.
574
00:23:14,927 --> 00:23:16,944
Back in charge of the GPS.
575
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,898
Super. Super.
576
00:23:20,967 --> 00:23:23,183
Oh, and I'm sorry.
I just spoke to Mike.
577
00:23:23,252 --> 00:23:24,518
Yup.
578
00:23:24,586 --> 00:23:27,955
He said that you were needed
down at a yoghurt store.
579
00:23:29,225 --> 00:23:32,076
It was something about
damage control.
580
00:23:32,145 --> 00:23:34,812
Yeah.
581
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,948
It's been an honor to
serve such an accomplished
understudy, ma'am.
582
00:23:39,968 --> 00:23:41,846
Are you gonna
take those with you?
What?
583
00:23:41,870 --> 00:23:45,288
Oh, I'm sorry.
Should I give
that to you?
584
00:23:45,357 --> 00:23:47,035
Thank you.
Here's a pen.
585
00:23:47,059 --> 00:23:49,271
I'll put it back.
Do you want me
to put it here?
586
00:23:49,295 --> 00:23:50,672
That's fine. Great.
Okay.
587
00:23:50,696 --> 00:23:52,176
Thank you.
Thank you.
588
00:23:52,230 --> 00:23:54,048
Bye-bye.
589
00:24:00,022 --> 00:24:01,655
(SIRENS BLARING)
590
00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:07,094
Ma'am, we spent a nice
afternoon bonding
with these owners.
591
00:24:07,163 --> 00:24:08,479
They're lovely people.
592
00:24:08,548 --> 00:24:10,514
A lot of the online guys
are still here.
593
00:24:10,583 --> 00:24:12,149
Online? Are you serious?
594
00:24:12,217 --> 00:24:13,733
Yeah.
It's much more relevant.
595
00:24:13,802 --> 00:24:15,322
I've been telling Dan
this for years.
596
00:24:15,371 --> 00:24:17,370
Wow, I do not feel good.
I feel bad.
597
00:24:17,439 --> 00:24:18,739
You're kidding?
598
00:24:18,807 --> 00:24:20,852
No.
Really? Like,
where does it hurt?
599
00:24:20,876 --> 00:24:24,912
I don't know.
It's hard to define exactly.
Where did Gary's thing start?
600
00:24:24,981 --> 00:24:26,697
His started,
like, in his stomach.
601
00:24:26,765 --> 00:24:28,760
It did start in his stomach?
He lost color
right away, though.
602
00:24:28,784 --> 00:24:30,984
And you still look...
MIKE: You look great.
603
00:24:31,053 --> 00:24:32,330
Do I?
You look beautiful.
604
00:24:32,354 --> 00:24:34,455
Thank you. Okay.
605
00:24:34,523 --> 00:24:36,501
Yeah, but aren't
dairy products bad
for your stomach?
606
00:24:36,525 --> 00:24:38,002
AMY: Well, you've got to
eat the yoghurt now.
607
00:24:38,026 --> 00:24:39,454
I mean, there will be
cameras on you.
608
00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:41,590
This is like
dairy DEFCON 1.
Yeah. Hi.
609
00:24:41,614 --> 00:24:43,514
Madam Vice President,
this is Anthony Holland,
610
00:24:43,582 --> 00:24:45,415
the owner of the store.
How do you do?
611
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:48,185
Madam Vice President,
welcome to Super Scooper.
612
00:24:48,253 --> 00:24:50,454
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
613
00:24:50,523 --> 00:24:52,534
I thought we'd do
the photo over here,
if that's okay.
614
00:24:52,558 --> 00:24:56,176
Sure. Do you have any
Jamaican rum flavor?
(GAGS)
615
00:24:56,245 --> 00:24:57,978
I'm sorry, I don't.
616
00:24:58,047 --> 00:25:01,265
And I've also thrown out
all of the Strawberry Selina.
617
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:03,293
Oh.
It had a bad taste.
618
00:25:04,336 --> 00:25:06,470
That's a shame to hear that.
619
00:25:06,539 --> 00:25:08,973
All I have left is vanilla.
620
00:25:09,041 --> 00:25:10,741
Okay.
I hope you like that.
621
00:25:10,793 --> 00:25:12,709
That'll be fine.
Members of the media.
622
00:25:12,778 --> 00:25:14,072
This is the media here.
Come on in, guys.
623
00:25:14,096 --> 00:25:16,496
Just this?
MIKE: Yeah.
624
00:25:16,565 --> 00:25:17,860
You guys will be right here.
625
00:25:17,884 --> 00:25:19,483
Oh, that's fantastic.
626
00:25:19,551 --> 00:25:23,320
Yeah, it would have been
better about two hours ago.
627
00:25:23,389 --> 00:25:25,439
Amy, you're gonna need to...
628
00:25:25,508 --> 00:25:26,907
Of course.
629
00:25:26,976 --> 00:25:28,709
Amy.
Yup.
630
00:25:28,777 --> 00:25:31,211
(CHAIR SQUEAKING)
I know, it's just stuck.
631
00:25:31,279 --> 00:25:33,224
We're gonna do the picture?
632
00:25:33,248 --> 00:25:35,293
MIKE: All right,
guys, get this shot.
It's real America.
633
00:25:35,317 --> 00:25:37,534
Bite and smile.
634
00:25:40,306 --> 00:25:44,108
Yeah? It's good, huh?
Mmm. Mmm-hmm.
635
00:25:44,176 --> 00:25:46,343
MIKE: You know,
let's get one more.
636
00:25:46,412 --> 00:25:47,789
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
AMY: Really quick.
637
00:25:47,813 --> 00:25:49,630
I think you probably just one...
638
00:25:49,699 --> 00:25:52,099
AMY: Yeah, yeah.
Are you okay?
639
00:25:52,168 --> 00:25:53,566
Uh-huh.
640
00:25:53,635 --> 00:25:54,902
Mmm.
641
00:25:54,970 --> 00:25:57,087
(GAGS)
Can I get you something?
642
00:25:57,155 --> 00:25:59,506
I think we got it, guys.
Take a step back.
643
00:25:59,575 --> 00:26:01,886
I have to use
the bathroom
right away.
644
00:26:01,910 --> 00:26:04,039
Can we use your bathroom?
No, I'm sorry,
my mother is in there.
645
00:26:04,063 --> 00:26:06,158
She's 84.
She takes a while.
646
00:26:06,182 --> 00:26:08,076
Okay, then we're
gonna go, but thanks.
Okay.
647
00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:11,367
Madam Vice President,
are you gonna do
anything about taxes?
648
00:26:11,436 --> 00:26:13,270
Yeah, I'm moving them down.
649
00:26:13,338 --> 00:26:15,105
I don't know
where this is headed.
650
00:26:15,174 --> 00:26:17,374
Okay, let's go this way, then.
651
00:26:18,194 --> 00:26:20,461
Nice, we'll just move
to the car and get it...
652
00:26:20,529 --> 00:26:22,762
That was moved quickly.
653
00:26:22,831 --> 00:26:25,299
Oh! Ooh-ooh! Ooh-ooh!
654
00:26:26,952 --> 00:26:28,335
I can't...
655
00:26:28,404 --> 00:26:30,415
Do you need to squeeze
my hand or something?
656
00:26:30,439 --> 00:26:31,771
What's up?
657
00:26:32,408 --> 00:26:33,624
Need help?
658
00:26:33,692 --> 00:26:36,126
Okay.
I can't uncross my legs.
659
00:26:36,195 --> 00:26:38,478
Yeah.
Oh, God. Okay. I get it.
660
00:26:38,547 --> 00:26:40,914
Guys, we need a wall
around the Vice President.
661
00:26:40,983 --> 00:26:42,749
No photos.
No clean photos.
662
00:26:44,352 --> 00:26:45,552
(SELINA GROANS)
Here we go.
663
00:26:45,587 --> 00:26:47,721
Here we go. Let's move.
Car's open. Door open.
664
00:26:48,624 --> 00:26:49,923
Let's get her in.
Come on.
665
00:26:49,992 --> 00:26:51,592
Oh, no. Is it locked?
666
00:26:51,660 --> 00:26:53,627
It's open.
Here we go. We're good.
667
00:26:53,696 --> 00:26:55,596
Get her in.
Dump her in there.
668
00:26:55,664 --> 00:26:57,097
Be careful. Careful.
669
00:26:57,165 --> 00:26:58,399
AMY: No one's judging.
670
00:26:58,467 --> 00:26:59,632
SELINA: Don't come in.
671
00:26:59,701 --> 00:27:00,951
Don't come in here.
672
00:27:01,020 --> 00:27:02,085
Ma'am, I'm gonna...
673
00:27:02,154 --> 00:27:04,188
I got to go with you,
ma'am, I'm sorry.
674
00:27:04,256 --> 00:27:06,440
Just dive into it.
AMY: I have to.
675
00:27:07,643 --> 00:27:09,209
Aw, shit.
676
00:27:09,278 --> 00:27:10,755
AMY: Okay, get your ass in.
Come on.
677
00:27:10,779 --> 00:27:12,729
All right, all right.
(SELINA GROANS)
678
00:27:12,798 --> 00:27:15,332
You know what?
I could use a walk.
I'll meet you guys there.
679
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:16,967
SELINA: I can't
put on my seat belt.
680
00:27:17,036 --> 00:27:18,802
AMY: It's fine.
Just stay there.
681
00:27:18,871 --> 00:27:20,503
(SIRENS WAILING)
682
00:27:27,412 --> 00:27:31,448
DAN: Where does Gary
put those wipes?
Oh, my God.
683
00:27:32,918 --> 00:27:33,984
Whew.