1
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:56,255
- At the far
reaches of the Universe

2
00:00:56,557 --> 00:01:00,392
lies a planet of men who
have advanced technologically

3
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:03,804
beyond the realm of human comprehension.

4
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,432
There is no breeding.

5
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,896
They are a product of cloning

6
00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:14,109
and their reproductive organs
have shrunk and disappeared.

7
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:20,661
All emotions have been
bred out of this race

8
00:01:20,956 --> 00:01:24,700
and each succeeding generation
has become more ambitious

9
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:27,540
and driven than the previous one.

10
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:31,839
They want to rule the Universe

11
00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:34,797
and now they are planning
their next takeover

12
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,211
from the inside.

13
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:02,533
- This planet is four
solar systems from our own,

14
00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:06,745
across the Sea of Vell at
a fixed position of 13-690,

15
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,751
on the subset grid 410.

16
00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:13,711
It is a solid, rigid
mass, with a dense core

17
00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:16,217
of magnetic, metallic liquid.

18
00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:20,763
The atmosphere is composed
of nitrogen, oxygen

19
00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:25,018
and argon in amounts of 78,
21, and one percent by volume.

20
00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,355
This is our target.

21
00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:32,274
This is Earth,

22
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:36,066
and this is where one of
you will serve your planet

23
00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,732
to the act of procreation.

24
00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:41,492
Your training will be extensive.

25
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,113
- The Earth
woman's reproductive organs

26
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:49,079
are located here.

27
00:02:49,378 --> 00:02:51,244
The access point is here.

28
00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:55,290
Insertion in any other access point

29
00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,800
will not result in pregnancy.

30
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:02,548
To get the woman in a
receptive mood for insertion,

31
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,136
compliment her on these areas.

32
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:15,898
She will also enjoy being
told that she smells nice,

33
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,734
and that her footwear is stylish.

34
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,942
You will spend many hours in study,

35
00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:23,610
trying to learn all you can

36
00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:26,154
about the females of this planet.

37
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:27,913
- It
is important to a woman

38
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,827
that she feels you are
listening when she speaks.

39
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:35,668
This is most easily achieved
by repeating the phrase,

40
00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:39,084
uh huh, when the woman is communicating.

41
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,887
- I went
to the store this morning.

42
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,092
Uh huh.

43
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:46,633
- And on the way, the car
started making a funny noise

44
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:47,925
so I pulled over.

45
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,059
Uh huh.

46
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:51,266
Bet then I couldn't hear it, so I got in

47
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:52,601
and started driving again.

48
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,106
Uh huh.

49
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:55,767
And then it was fine.

50
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:56,900
Uh huh.

51
00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:58,481
You will familiarize yourself

52
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:01,193
with her predilections, her customs,

53
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:03,483
her ranges of mood and temperament,

54
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:07,654
her smiles, her frowns,
her ups, and her downs.

55
00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,492
Your footwear is quite fashionable.

56
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:10,497
Thank you.

57
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,078
May I insert my penis in you?

58
00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:12,912
Yes.

59
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:16,625
10 seconds.

60
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,666
This time is your personal best.

61
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,084
Congratulations.

62
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:27,098
You have all performed admirably,

63
00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:30,351
and your concentration has been exemplary,

64
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:33,103
but one man has been chosen.

65
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,890
This man has excelled in his training

66
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:38,480
and we are confident
that the women of earth

67
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,361
will be both interested in

68
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:44,945
and willing to experience
insertion with him.

69
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:46,575
This man is H1449-6

70
00:04:58,048 --> 00:04:59,880
Congratulations H1449-6

71
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,418
or as you'll now be referred to,

72
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,337
Harold Anderson from Seattle, Washington.

73
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,222
But let me warn you, we've
given you a great wealth

74
00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:09,473
of information about Earth

75
00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,384
but her people are unpredictable.

76
00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:13,643
As with all alien cultures,
there will be subtleties

77
00:05:13,939 --> 00:05:16,431
which we couldn't possibly
have prepared you for.

78
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,690
However, given your adaptability

79
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,601
and your great capacity for learning,

80
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:23,567
we are certain that you will
achieve your goal with ease.

81
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:25,447
The success of our planet's domination

82
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:28,234
of the Universe rests in your hands.

83
00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:29,527
Thank you, sir.

84
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,241
Now, if you'll go with these men,

85
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:34,908
they'll arrange your transfer
and attach your penis.

86
00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:54,601
Ladies and gentlemen,

87
00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:56,933
we'll be beginning our
descent into the Phoenix area

88
00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:58,348
in about 30 minutes.

89
00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:00,858
Flight crew will be by shortly to pick up

90
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:03,109
all remaining food and beverage items.

91
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:06,944
Thank you once again
for flying Arizona West.

92
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:13,913
What the hell is that?

93
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,323
What?

94
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:18,242
There, inbound at our two o'clock.

95
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:19,581
Jesus, it's movin'.

96
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,587
Tell me where to go.

97
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:28,252
Hydraulics?

98
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,093
Uh, landing hydraulics okay.

99
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,098
Wing and tail hydraulics okay.

100
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,429
We're losing altitude.

101
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:35,889
Air speed is dropping.

102
00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:37,894
What the hell is this?

103
00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:41,307
- Collision
alert, collision alert.

104
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:44,318
It's on us!

105
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,161
Simple people.

106
00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:56,914
They're a thousand years behind us.

107
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,198
Haven't even figured out that round

108
00:06:58,501 --> 00:06:59,992
is the most efficient way to fly.

109
00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:01,581
This is going to be a snap.

110
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,246
Remember, get a woman pregnant.

111
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:04,254
Give me two days.

112
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:07,087
Wait for the baby, and then come back.

113
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:10,219
And whatever you do, don't
let anyone know the truth.

114
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,596
We don't want another
Roswell on our hands.

115
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,427
- Well that happened
because you made the mistake

116
00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:16,433
of sending H228-J.

117
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:19,687
That guy was an idiot,
and not as handsome as me.

118
00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:21,017
Nowhere near.

119
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:38,614
Hi, hi.

120
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:41,166
Hey there.

121
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,622
Hey, I like your shoes.

122
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:43,536
What?

123
00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:44,874
- Hey, let me give you
a hand there, gorgeous.

124
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:46,414
Sir please, I need you to take your seat

125
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:47,627
and fasten your seatbelt.

126
00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:49,007
Rebecca.

127
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,009
You know, I always wanted
my children to have a mother

128
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,170
named Rebecca, interested?

129
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,884
Are you all right, sir?

130
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,766
- Well, to be honest I
am a little lightheaded

131
00:07:58,061 --> 00:07:59,768
from that perfume.

132
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,395
You smell nice.

133
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:03,852
Sir, if you don't take your seat,

134
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,937
I'll report you when we land.

135
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,147
Ouch.

136
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:09,152
Kitty likes to scratch.

137
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:13,699
Anyone sitting here?

138
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:19,072
Well there is now, hi there.

139
00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:20,706
Hi.

140
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:21,912
You're shaking.

141
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:23,371
I thought we were gonna crash.

142
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:27,505
- I like it when a woman
shakes, turns me on.

143
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:28,414
What?

144
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,343
I like your shoes.

145
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:33,297
Thank you.

146
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:34,552
And you smell nice too.

147
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:35,383
Thank you.

148
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,389
- Going to Phoenix on
business or pleasure?

149
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,425
I'm going to see my husband.

150
00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:40,263
Uh huh.

151
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,268
He's a Pharmacist.

152
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,270
He works in the Pharmaceutical industry.

153
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:44,100
Uh huh.

154
00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:46,106
- And we had a big fight
before I took this flight.

155
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:47,482
I know you shouldn't get on a flight

156
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,268
without saying you're sorry,
or I love you or something,

157
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:50,937
and now, if I'd been
killed he'd still think

158
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,355
I was pissed off.

159
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:19,219
Hey!

160
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,258
Hey, watch the cart, man.

161
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,427
Do you want me to get you a copy

162
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,473
of the FAA rules and
regulations, ass wipe?

163
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:29,108
I do my job, then you do yours.

164
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,688
Stay outta my way!

165
00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:35,068
- They'll give anybody
a fucking badge, man.

166
00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:35,901
Hello Mr. Jones.

167
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:37,066
What we got here?

168
00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:38,358
Well, it's hard to say.

169
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:39,777
It could be bad air, but judging

170
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,036
from what I've heard from the crew,

171
00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:43,288
it sounds a little more
out of the ordinary.

172
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:44,915
How long you been with the department?

173
00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:46,166
Uh, three months, sir.

174
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:47,076
Let me do you a favor.

175
00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:48,539
It's never out of the ordinary,

176
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:49,578
never.

177
00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:51,873
It's either a flock of
geese, a weather balloon,

178
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:54,963
or if it's Friday, the crew is drunk.

179
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,342
Yeah.

180
00:09:56,638 --> 00:09:59,176
Nadine, what did I tell you
about using this number?

181
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,056
I told you never to call me at this number

182
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:02,592
unless the goddamn house is on fire

183
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:06,433
and I don't hear a siren,
so this better be good.

184
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:09,269
Yeah, I know today's our anniversary.

185
00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:10,899
What makes you think I forgot?

186
00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:12,435
How do you know I'm not comin' home

187
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:15,946
with a bunch of flowers or
somethin' along those lines?

188
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:17,607
How do you know that?

189
00:10:17,909 --> 00:10:19,320
Nadine don't, don't cry.

190
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,234
Bye bye.

191
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:22,278
Bye.

192
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:35,541
Bye bye.

193
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,094
- One of the passengers
was shooting some video

194
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:40,550
when the incident took place.

195
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,056
Thought you might wanna take a look at it.

196
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:42,965
Uh huh.

197
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,180
Deplane 'em here, get a list
of the passengers and crew,

198
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,719
check the cabin, write your report,

199
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:48,683
and if you see anything
at all interesting,

200
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,599
just remember one thing, it's not.

201
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:58,565
Well, Christmas is early this year.

202
00:10:58,867 --> 00:10:59,903
You guys twins?

203
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:01,237
Pft, asshole.

204
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,454
- Would you like to contribute
to the downtown mission?

205
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,162
- Sure, what can I get
for 150 bucks, gorgeous?

206
00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:11,702
Oh.

207
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:26,766
What's that noise?

208
00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:28,848
I don't hear anything.

209
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,393
It's coming out of your pants.

210
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,184
- There's something else
that comes out of my pants.

211
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:36,351
Wanna see?

212
00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:40,193
Oh!

213
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:42,900
Thanks, keep the change.

214
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,364
Can I have your autograph?

215
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:45,197
I beg your pardon?

216
00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,362
Well, you are Miss America, aren't you?

217
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:48,200
Yeah.

218
00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:49,956
Who are you, Mr. Universe?

219
00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:51,332
Hey, where ya headed?

220
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:52,243
Chicago.

221
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:53,786
Oh.

222
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,420
That's attractive.

223
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,126
The windy city.

224
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:58,836
So, what time's your flight?

225
00:11:59,135 --> 00:11:59,750
40 minutes.

226
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,965
- Ah, well, I don't know
what you're doing until then,

227
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,971
but I notice that there's a
Hilton right across the street

228
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:08,680
and I don't know if they have
a 40 minute rate or not but,

229
00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:14,098
maybe we could...

230
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,015
Taxi.

231
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,011
Hey, I know who you are.

232
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:45,841
You do?

233
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:47,301
Yeah, I know exactly who you are

234
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:48,636
and where you're from.

235
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:50,096
Really?

236
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:51,226
New guy from Seattle, right?

237
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:52,136
Commercial and home loans?

238
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:54,054
How did you know?

239
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:55,393
My gut.

240
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:56,227
Perry Gordon.

241
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:57,482
I'm in commercial and home loans myself.

242
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,018
Nice to meet ya, Harold Anderson.

243
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,154
- Yeah, word is you're some
sorta big banking kahuna

244
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:02,983
from up north.

245
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,149
I heard your letters of
recommendation were unbelievable.

246
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:06,658
Ah, they're not that great.

247
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,785
- Oh yeah, they were, 'cause I
snuck into Mr. Fisk's office,

248
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:09,820
read every single one.

249
00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:11,909
Who's that?

250
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:15,076
Oh, that's Rita, office manager.

251
00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:16,414
I got her a job.

252
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:18,670
Smartest thing I ever did.

253
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:20,793
Is she...

254
00:13:21,092 --> 00:13:22,299
Too late, my friend.

255
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:23,128
All mine.

256
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,465
Yep, she's a noisy one too.

257
00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:27,299
Thank god we work in a bank,

258
00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:30,432
able to close the vault door,
nobody can hear a thing.

259
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:31,763
Does she have a friend?

260
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:32,596
I don't know.

261
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,011
Listen, anytime you wanna
hit the night spots,

262
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:34,849
you give me a call.

263
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,514
Thanks, great, how about now?

264
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:40,726
You kidding, right?

265
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,190
No.

266
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:43,854
It's 10 o'clock in the morning.

267
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:44,943
You haven't met the boss yet.

268
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,027
So?

269
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,988
You got some balls on ya.

270
00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:52,621
- I sure do, two of 'em,
right below my penis.

271
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:53,530
Listen,

272
00:13:55,209 --> 00:13:57,326
I gotta have sex, and I
have to have it right away.

273
00:13:57,628 --> 00:13:59,995
I mean, I'm really, really horny.

274
00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:01,084
I'm getting that.

275
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:02,372
Anderson?

276
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:03,290
Yes sir.

277
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:05,793
I've been waiting for you.

278
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,176
Don Fisk.

279
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:08,303
Come on in.

280
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:10,464
Good morning, Mr. Fisk.

281
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,730
As long as the contractionary

282
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,521
British fiscal policy continues.

283
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:28,065
Well, I can see we don't need any time

284
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,324
to get acclimated.

285
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:30,359
Pretty girl.

286
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:33,119
Oh, that's Rita, the office manager.

287
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:34,120
She's mine.

288
00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:37,533
We go to Scottsdale every weekend.

289
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:39,326
I have a condo up there.

290
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:41,837
By the way, you're free to
use it anytime you like.

291
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:42,666
Rita?

292
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:43,500
The condo.

293
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:44,790
Thanks.

294
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:47,961
You know, I have never seen such a stack

295
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:49,628
of glowing recommendations.

296
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,672
If I didn't know better, I'd
think you wrote them yourself.

297
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:58,436
You know, there's a vice
president's job opening up soon.

298
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,017
I assume you're interested.

299
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:01,602
No, not necessarily.

300
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,143
- Come on Anderson, it's
okay to be ambitious.

301
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:05,185
You're only human.

302
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:06,353
Well.

303
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:07,362
Well, think it over.

304
00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:09,944
In the meantime, welcome aboard.

305
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:10,949
Thank you.

306
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,405
- We got a wonderful family
of people working here.

307
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,444
It's top quality people.

308
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:15,828
Except for Perry.

309
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,331
He's a sneaky little prick.

310
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,833
He's always looking for
pussy, never doing his job.

311
00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:21,539
I can't stand that.

312
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,545
That is good to know.

313
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:25,793
Neglected?

314
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,129
Nadine, how can you feel neglected?

315
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,169
What do you mean, we never
do anything together?

316
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:31,461
What about that trip to New Orleans?

317
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:34,723
That was a good time, wasn't it?

318
00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:36,303
I don't care if it was four years ago.

319
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:37,342
I didn't ask ya when it was,

320
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:40,729
I asked ya if it was a good time.

321
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:43,060
Don't get all pissy, will ya?

322
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:44,816
Jesus, I can't even answer your question.

323
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:47,478
Honey, can you hold?

324
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,237
Can you hold please?

325
00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:50,147
Thank you.

326
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,817
Jones.

327
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:55,862
No, that's closed, Pacific
East flight 769-er?

328
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:57,905
Yeah, it was the hydraulics.

329
00:15:58,207 --> 00:15:59,823
Arizona West flight 442,

330
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,458
I was just gettin' through that stuff.

331
00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:03,459
Wait a minute, hold on.

332
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,546
Yeah, I'm gonna have to call ya back.

333
00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:08,298
Let me call ya back.

334
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,016
What the hell?

335
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:32,026
You like?

336
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,066
Trust me, this is the
best titty bar in Phoenix.

337
00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:35,358
How many are there?

338
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,197
- This one, and I think
there might be one other,

339
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,409
but I heard it sucks.

340
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:41,118
You come here a lot?

341
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:42,749
Once, twice a year.

342
00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:44,501
- Hi Perry.
- Hey Cheryl.

343
00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:45,831
Grab me a beer, will ya sweetheart?

344
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,211
Sure, and what would you like?

345
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:48,543
Someone just like you.

346
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:51,132
Relative?

347
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,678
I'm your cowboy, baby.

348
00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,590
Great, but that noise is getting louder.

349
00:16:58,893 --> 00:16:59,883
Traffic.

350
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:00,721
Are you sure?

351
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,056
It's rush hour, baby.

352
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,062
Come on, make me feel like a man.

353
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:05,893
Hmm, hold on mister.

354
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,149
Time to put on your party clothes.

355
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:09,560
What's that?

356
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:10,602
A condom.

357
00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:12,692
- Oh, my boss has one
of those in Scottsdale.

358
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:13,980
He said I can use it.

359
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:16,283
Great, put it on.

360
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:19,320
- But baby, I don't want
anything between us.

361
00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:20,829
Just unroll it.

362
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:29,287
Oh boy.

363
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:33,875
What the hell was that?

364
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:35,043
It slipped.

365
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,096
- Morning.
- Morning.

366
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,883
How'd it go with Cheryl?

367
00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:42,642
- Not good, I had to
rush her to the hospital.

368
00:17:42,937 --> 00:17:44,599
She got some glass in her eye.

369
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,433
Yeah, that happens.

370
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:50,062
Where we goin' tonight?

371
00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:51,727
I'll take you to a great place.

372
00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:54,191
I'm taking you where I met Rita.

373
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,402
Hi, my name is Doreen, I'm an alcoholic.

374
00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:57,782
- Hi Doreen.
- Hi.

375
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:01,070
Today marks my 59th day of sobriety.

376
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:05,991
Thanks, thank you very much.

377
00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:08,536
And I celebrated by calling my parents

378
00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:12,127
to tell 'em about my engagement to Janice.

379
00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:16,009
Dykes, made popular on television,

380
00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:17,795
and now they're everywhere.

381
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:21,636
- Is there anyone else
who would like to share?

382
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:22,549
You.

383
00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:28,688
- Hello, get the bread,
I see something tasty.

384
00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:29,473
Hi.

385
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:32,142
This is the first time I've
actually gotten up to speak,

386
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:32,980
so I'm...

387
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,235
Your name, start with your name.

388
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:35,737
Oh.

389
00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:38,240
Thanks, of course, I'm sorry.

390
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:39,524
Um, I'm Susan.

391
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,409
- Hi Susan.
- Hi

392
00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:42,410
Hi Susan.

393
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:46,661
Anyway, I'm an alcoholic.

394
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,918
I've been sober a couple of months now.

395
00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:53,709
Oh, thanks, that's okay.

396
00:18:56,927 --> 00:19:00,170
My father was an abusive alcoholic.

397
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:04,262
I guess maybe I'm lucky that
he left when I was seven,

398
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,768
but then my stepfather was an alcoholic,

399
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:09,476
and so was my second stepfather.

400
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,857
Anyway, I have a history
of picking the wrong men.

401
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:16,020
Big surprise, right?

402
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:19,235
The thing is, I never knew
I had a drinking problem

403
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,820
because, ever since high school,

404
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:24,156
I've only dated musicians
and they always told me

405
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:25,286
I was a lot of fun.

406
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:27,622
I like what I'm hearing.

407
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:30,375
But all that's changed now.

408
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:31,706
I bottomed out.

409
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,290
Uh oh.

410
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:35,626
I was having fun in uh...

411
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:40,460
I don't even remember what city.

412
00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:41,844
And when I woke up in the morning

413
00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,256
I didn't know where I
was or how I got there

414
00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:46,345
or who the guy was that I was with,

415
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:50,183
and I thought I should know
at least one of those things.

416
00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:52,518
That's when I came here,
and I stopped putting myself

417
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:55,901
in situations where I
couldn't respect myself,

418
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,187
so others didn't respect me.

419
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,030
She wants respect.

420
00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:01,860
Cuts me out.

421
00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:04,025
Anyway, I took my first step today.

422
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:07,162
I bought a new car,
and it's gonna be great

423
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:09,994
to get up in the morning and
remember where I parked it.

424
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:12,625
Thanks.

425
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:20,758
- Would
anyone else like to share?

426
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:26,514
It's dead tonight.

427
00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:27,890
Not a weeper in the joint.

428
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:28,845
Weeper?

429
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:30,636
Yeah, there's usually one or two gals

430
00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:32,679
get all weepy after the meeting.

431
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:33,597
That's where you clean up.

432
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:36,983
You go over, offer 'em a
tissue, bang, you're in.

433
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:38,689
You really wanna sell it, yank a nose hair

434
00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:39,523
right before you go.

435
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,529
They see the tears, think
you're a kindred spirit,

436
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,531
you are in huge.

437
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:45,408
Look.

438
00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:46,568
Wish me luck.

439
00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:49,620
What happened?

440
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:56,541
- I did so much blow once, I
didn't sleep for three weeks.

441
00:20:56,839 --> 00:20:58,125
I lost about 15 pounds.

442
00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:00,290
The good thing, I've
been able to keep it off.

443
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:01,128
Hey!

444
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:02,008
How are you?

445
00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:02,963
Remember me from the airplane?

446
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:04,173
Oh yeah, of course.

447
00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,589
You hit me really hard.

448
00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:07,506
Bye.

449
00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:10,550
What are you doing here?

450
00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:13,061
Well, I have a slight problem.

451
00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:14,471
You know how it is with the airlines.

452
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:16,185
You're 30,000 feet in
the air with all those

453
00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:17,019
tiny little bottles.

454
00:21:17,318 --> 00:21:18,479
It's really not my fault.

455
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:22,112
Sure.

456
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:25,322
Oh, damn it!

457
00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:29,528
Oh, you hit my car,

458
00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:33,247
my new car.

459
00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:35,374
I don't believe it!
- What happened?

460
00:21:35,669 --> 00:21:36,705
Oh, don't get excited.

461
00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:38,290
First of all, this isn't new.

462
00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:39,375
This is a 98.

463
00:21:39,673 --> 00:21:40,834
I know a guy who's got one of these.

464
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,374
Hey, it's new to me.

465
00:21:42,676 --> 00:21:43,291
Oh god.

466
00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:45,381
Look at it.

467
00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:47,136
- Well, I guess we're
gonna both have to drive

468
00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:49,138
a little more carefully.

469
00:21:49,433 --> 00:21:50,924
I was parked, asshole.

470
00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:52,308
I don't see a lot of damage here,

471
00:21:52,603 --> 00:21:53,468
so I think I'm gonna run, but...

472
00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:55,603
- Right, right, I bought it
with a cracked tail light,

473
00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:57,514
dented fender package.

474
00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:01,773
I wanna see your drivers
license, your registration,

475
00:22:02,071 --> 00:22:03,061
and your insurance.

476
00:22:03,364 --> 00:22:04,445
Can't we settle this without bringing

477
00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:06,231
insurance companies into this?

478
00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:07,069
No.

479
00:22:07,368 --> 00:22:07,983
Okay.

480
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:09,821
- And if you try to worm
your way outta this,

481
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:11,861
I will hunt you down
and cut your heart out

482
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:13,780
with my hood ornament.

483
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,866
Have we dated?

484
00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:23,332
I'm not very good in bed.

485
00:22:23,634 --> 00:22:26,092
Oh no, you're great.

486
00:22:26,387 --> 00:22:28,253
No, my boyfriend once said

487
00:22:28,556 --> 00:22:31,469
it was like trying to start a dead car.

488
00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:32,553
You've gotta help me.

489
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,013
You've got to uncross your legs.

490
00:22:34,311 --> 00:22:35,768
I told you, I'm not very good in bed.

491
00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:37,304
I'm sorry.

492
00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:39,472
What is that humming sound?

493
00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:42,518
- Oh, I think it's the tendon
in your legs vibrating.

494
00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:45,983
Oh, you know what?

495
00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:48,239
Just, can you, one second.

496
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:53,195
Hello?

497
00:22:54,248 --> 00:22:56,911
Oh, I was just thinking
about you too, Steve.

498
00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:58,290
- Hurry up, we don't
wanna lose our momentum.

499
00:22:58,586 --> 00:22:59,201
Shh.

500
00:23:00,713 --> 00:23:01,453
Hi.

501
00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:05,169
I miss you too.

502
00:23:05,467 --> 00:23:06,332
Is she there?

503
00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:08,300
Okay, okay.

504
00:23:09,471 --> 00:23:10,131
Bye.

505
00:23:10,431 --> 00:23:12,093
Ready for more?

506
00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:13,802
Ugh, I can't do this.

507
00:23:14,101 --> 00:23:16,184
I'm in love with a
married pilot from Dallas.

508
00:23:16,478 --> 00:23:17,138
That's our hub.

509
00:23:17,438 --> 00:23:18,144
Uh huh.

510
00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:20,271
You know who I really sorry for?

511
00:23:20,566 --> 00:23:21,226
His wife.

512
00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:23,312
He's off cheating on her.

513
00:23:23,611 --> 00:23:24,317
With you?

514
00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:26,816
Get out.

515
00:23:27,114 --> 00:23:27,649
What'd I do?

516
00:23:27,948 --> 00:23:29,029
I'm crazy about ya baby.

517
00:23:29,325 --> 00:23:30,532
- Get out!
- You smell nice.

518
00:23:30,826 --> 00:23:32,237
- To think I almost
opened up to you, get out!

519
00:23:32,536 --> 00:23:33,401
Are those your shoes?

520
00:23:33,704 --> 00:23:34,239
Out!

521
00:23:34,538 --> 00:23:36,450
Those are beautiful shoes.

522
00:23:45,966 --> 00:23:47,082
- You're certainly in
a hurry this morning.

523
00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:48,920
Aren't you gonna eat?

524
00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:51,795
Mmm.

525
00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:53,133
Gotta get to the office.

526
00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:55,424
You mean you have to get to her?

527
00:23:55,726 --> 00:23:56,807
What?

528
00:23:57,102 --> 00:23:59,059
You're having an affair, aren't you?

529
00:23:59,355 --> 00:24:00,391
What's wrong with you?

530
00:24:00,689 --> 00:24:01,224
You hate work.

531
00:24:01,523 --> 00:24:02,479
All you talk about is how it bores you,

532
00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:03,731
and suddenly you're rushing out the door

533
00:24:04,026 --> 00:24:04,857
to get to your job.

534
00:24:05,152 --> 00:24:05,858
What's her name?

535
00:24:06,153 --> 00:24:07,394
I'm not having an affair.

536
00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:09,107
- It's that Pamela person that
works down the hall from you.

537
00:24:09,406 --> 00:24:11,238
I've seen the way she
looks at you, Roland.

538
00:24:11,533 --> 00:24:12,774
The woman is a slut.

539
00:24:13,077 --> 00:24:14,409
She's in a wheelchair, Nadine.

540
00:24:14,703 --> 00:24:15,910
- Yeah, and don't think
she hasn't played that

541
00:24:16,205 --> 00:24:17,446
for all it's worth.

542
00:24:17,748 --> 00:24:20,240
Okay, you wanna know what's going on?

543
00:24:20,542 --> 00:24:21,999
You wanna know the truth?

544
00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:24,581
I think I deserve that much.

545
00:24:25,673 --> 00:24:29,007
- Okay, this is classified so
it's just between you and me.

546
00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:31,338
A couple of days ago on
an Arizona West flight,

547
00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:32,548
there was an incident.

548
00:24:32,846 --> 00:24:34,212
The crew almost lost control.

549
00:24:34,515 --> 00:24:37,633
One of the passengers was shooting video.

550
00:24:37,935 --> 00:24:39,176
I can't believe I'm gonna say this,

551
00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:41,470
but something made
contact with that plane,

552
00:24:41,772 --> 00:24:44,310
and the thing is, Nadine, I
don't have an answer for it.

553
00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:46,645
For the first time in 22 years,

554
00:24:46,944 --> 00:24:49,436
I don't know what the hell happened.

555
00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:53,652
There's somethin' about
that, about the not knowing.

556
00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:58,662
Look at me, I'm gettin'
goosebumps just thinking about it.

557
00:24:58,956 --> 00:25:00,037
It's what I've been waitin' for, babe.

558
00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:01,994
I've been waitin' for this,
and now it's finally come.

559
00:25:02,292 --> 00:25:03,408
You understand what I'm
talkin' about, don't ya?

560
00:25:03,711 --> 00:25:05,498
Does she have bigger tits than me?

561
00:25:05,796 --> 00:25:07,833
I'm gonna figure this out.

562
00:25:08,132 --> 00:25:10,795
I'll take that as a yes.

563
00:25:11,093 --> 00:25:12,129
I'll be late.

564
00:25:19,768 --> 00:25:22,431
Oh!

565
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:33,654
Damn.

566
00:25:43,667 --> 00:25:44,999
Can I help you?

567
00:25:46,462 --> 00:25:47,919
I'm looking for Perry.

568
00:25:48,213 --> 00:25:49,374
Oh, you know Perry?

569
00:25:49,673 --> 00:25:51,289
Yeah, but not too well.

570
00:25:51,592 --> 00:25:52,457
I'm his wife.

571
00:25:53,552 --> 00:25:54,884
His wife?

572
00:25:55,179 --> 00:25:58,923
Well, Perry's a very
lucky man, if I may say.

573
00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:00,089
Very lucky.

574
00:26:01,101 --> 00:26:02,763
Harold Anderson.

575
00:26:03,062 --> 00:26:03,677
Helen.

576
00:26:04,688 --> 00:26:07,396
He's probably in the vault.

577
00:26:15,657 --> 00:26:18,400
Excuse me, I'm looking for Perry Gordon.

578
00:26:18,702 --> 00:26:20,739
Do you think it's okay
if I wait in his office?

579
00:26:21,038 --> 00:26:21,824
Sure, that'll be fine.

580
00:26:22,122 --> 00:26:23,283
- All right, thank you.
- Hi.

581
00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:24,288
Hi.

582
00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:25,744
Oh, hey.

583
00:26:26,043 --> 00:26:27,409
Were you at the AA meeting last night?

584
00:26:27,711 --> 00:26:28,667
Yes, I saw you there.

585
00:26:28,962 --> 00:26:30,669
Your speech was very good.

586
00:26:30,964 --> 00:26:31,624
Thanks.

587
00:26:31,924 --> 00:26:33,415
Do you work here?

588
00:26:33,717 --> 00:26:35,674
- Commercial and home
loans, not too exciting.

589
00:26:35,969 --> 00:26:37,130
Just a normal guy.

590
00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:39,421
There's nothing wrong with normal.

591
00:26:39,723 --> 00:26:40,839
Do you know where Perry Gordon is?

592
00:26:41,141 --> 00:26:42,177
Oh, you know Perry?

593
00:26:42,476 --> 00:26:43,091
Well, no.

594
00:26:43,393 --> 00:26:44,850
He backed into my car last night.

595
00:26:45,145 --> 00:26:46,101
I've got an estimate for him.

596
00:26:46,396 --> 00:26:47,512
Could you give this to him?

597
00:26:47,815 --> 00:26:48,430
Sure.

598
00:26:50,859 --> 00:26:52,475
You have beautiful handwriting.

599
00:26:52,778 --> 00:26:54,269
That's the mechanic.

600
00:26:54,571 --> 00:26:55,778
Oh.

601
00:26:56,073 --> 00:26:57,985
Well, this part down here
where you signed your name,

602
00:26:58,283 --> 00:26:58,898
lovely.

603
00:26:59,868 --> 00:27:02,281
So, how long you been in the program?

604
00:27:02,579 --> 00:27:03,615
- Program?
- AA.

605
00:27:04,998 --> 00:27:05,909
Oh, oh that.

606
00:27:06,208 --> 00:27:07,119
No, I'm not involved in the program.

607
00:27:07,417 --> 00:27:08,282
Perry just took me there.

608
00:27:08,585 --> 00:27:10,247
Oh, so he's in the program?

609
00:27:10,546 --> 00:27:11,582
Uh, not that I know of.

610
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:13,667
You know, this would make
fantastic dinner conversation.

611
00:27:13,966 --> 00:27:14,706
Are you doing anything tonight?

612
00:27:15,008 --> 00:27:16,124
So, what were you doing there, then?

613
00:27:16,426 --> 00:27:17,166
Just checking it out.

614
00:27:17,469 --> 00:27:19,552
Have you had any chance
to think about dinner yet?

615
00:27:19,847 --> 00:27:21,338
Oh god, I get it.

616
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:23,131
You're one of those guys
that goes to AA meetings

617
00:27:23,433 --> 00:27:25,220
to pick up women, that's sick.

618
00:27:25,519 --> 00:27:27,886
How can you take advantage
of people like that?

619
00:27:28,188 --> 00:27:28,769
Perry took me there.

620
00:27:29,064 --> 00:27:29,850
I had no idea what it was.

621
00:27:30,149 --> 00:27:30,684
How's eight?

622
00:27:30,983 --> 00:27:32,599
Oh, excuse me, may I?

623
00:27:32,901 --> 00:27:34,858
Here's the estimate, okay?

624
00:27:36,697 --> 00:27:38,233
And I hope the next time
you take one of your

625
00:27:38,532 --> 00:27:39,989
pathetic little jaunts to AA,

626
00:27:40,284 --> 00:27:42,321
you drive a bit more carefully.

627
00:27:42,619 --> 00:27:43,609
What is she talking about?

628
00:27:43,912 --> 00:27:45,494
I am as confused as you are, sweetheart.

629
00:27:45,789 --> 00:27:46,449
Oh come on.

630
00:27:46,748 --> 00:27:49,161
Look, I just put everything
I have into this car.

631
00:27:49,459 --> 00:27:51,496
If you don't wanna go
through your insurance, fine.

632
00:27:51,795 --> 00:27:54,128
Write me a check, I'll wait.

633
00:27:54,423 --> 00:27:56,130
Is that where you were last night?

634
00:27:56,425 --> 00:27:57,916
That's what you didn't wanna tell me.

635
00:27:58,218 --> 00:27:59,675
You were at an AA meeting?

636
00:27:59,970 --> 00:28:00,630
Now you know.

637
00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:02,295
I hope you're happy.

638
00:28:02,598 --> 00:28:03,634
You'll get your check.

639
00:28:03,932 --> 00:28:05,093
But, why couldn't you tell me?

640
00:28:05,392 --> 00:28:07,429
- Because, I wasn't sure
that I was strong enough

641
00:28:07,728 --> 00:28:09,264
to stay committed to the program,

642
00:28:09,563 --> 00:28:12,101
and I didn't wanna disappoint
you if I dropped out.

643
00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:14,391
Oh baby, I had no idea.

644
00:28:14,693 --> 00:28:18,687
- It's been tough but,
thank god, so far so good.

645
00:28:18,989 --> 00:28:20,275
That's such a brave thing you're doing.

646
00:28:20,574 --> 00:28:21,906
I can hardly believe it.

647
00:28:22,201 --> 00:28:24,409
- One day at a time,
sugar, one day at a time.

648
00:28:24,703 --> 00:28:25,318
I'll walk ya out.

649
00:28:25,621 --> 00:28:27,157
You know, I love you so much.

650
00:28:27,456 --> 00:28:28,913
Now that I know, I'm gonna
do everything in my power

651
00:28:29,208 --> 00:28:30,790
to make sure you never take another drink

652
00:28:31,084 --> 00:28:33,041
for the rest of your life.

653
00:28:34,296 --> 00:28:35,207
Thank you.

654
00:28:37,299 --> 00:28:39,416
That was his wife?

655
00:28:39,718 --> 00:28:40,708
Yeah.

656
00:28:41,011 --> 00:28:43,344
- He's married, and he's
going to AA meetings

657
00:28:43,639 --> 00:28:45,005
to pick up women?

658
00:28:45,307 --> 00:28:46,889
What a humongous sleazebag.

659
00:28:47,184 --> 00:28:48,095
Are you married?
- Nope.

660
00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:51,602
So I guess that means we're on for dinner?

661
00:28:51,897 --> 00:28:52,512
No.

662
00:28:53,607 --> 00:28:55,098
Nice meeting you.

663
00:29:04,826 --> 00:29:07,193
What planet are you from?

664
00:29:07,496 --> 00:29:08,577
What do you mean?

665
00:29:08,872 --> 00:29:10,363
- Well, I guess you really
wanna go out with me.

666
00:29:10,666 --> 00:29:12,828
I say no and you're like,
okay, and that's that.

667
00:29:13,126 --> 00:29:14,992
I mean, put a little effort
into it, why don't you?

668
00:29:15,295 --> 00:29:16,251
Are you asking me out?

669
00:29:16,546 --> 00:29:18,003
No, no I'm not asking you out.

670
00:29:18,298 --> 00:29:18,958
Why would you think that?

671
00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:21,841
If I was asking a man out, he'd know it.

672
00:29:22,135 --> 00:29:23,467
- Right.
- Yeah.

673
00:29:23,762 --> 00:29:26,800
You know, I have a feeling that you're not

674
00:29:27,099 --> 00:29:28,886
what you appear to be.

675
00:29:29,184 --> 00:29:30,891
You smell nice.

676
00:29:31,186 --> 00:29:32,267
Thanks.

677
00:29:32,562 --> 00:29:34,679
Something new, just bought it today.

678
00:29:34,982 --> 00:29:38,601
God, why was it never
this complicated before?

679
00:29:38,902 --> 00:29:39,858
Oh, I know why.

680
00:29:40,153 --> 00:29:41,815
Because before, by now
I'd already be drunk

681
00:29:42,114 --> 00:29:43,195
and in bed with the guy.

682
00:29:43,490 --> 00:29:44,822
How's six o'clock?

683
00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:47,074
Damn it, fine, anything.

684
00:29:48,203 --> 00:29:49,569
Seven.

685
00:29:49,871 --> 00:29:50,907
6:45?

686
00:29:51,206 --> 00:29:51,821
Fine.

687
00:30:08,598 --> 00:30:11,511
Tell me something about yourself.

688
00:30:11,810 --> 00:30:15,770
- My name is Harold
Anderson, I work in a bank.

689
00:30:16,064 --> 00:30:16,679
And?

690
00:30:18,025 --> 00:30:18,811
More?

691
00:30:19,109 --> 00:30:21,021
I never met a man

692
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:22,652
that talks less about himself.

693
00:30:22,946 --> 00:30:24,903
Where were you born?

694
00:30:25,198 --> 00:30:26,439
My turn to ask a question.

695
00:30:26,742 --> 00:30:29,075
What do you do for a living?

696
00:30:29,369 --> 00:30:31,281
- Well, I worked in a
guitar shop for a long time,

697
00:30:31,580 --> 00:30:33,913
but when I got sober I realized
I had to get out of there.

698
00:30:34,207 --> 00:30:36,665
You know, too many negative influences.

699
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:38,292
Uh huh, such as?

700
00:30:38,587 --> 00:30:40,874
- Well, musicians for one.
- Uh huh.

701
00:30:41,173 --> 00:30:43,256
- And I think there was a
sign over the door that said

702
00:30:43,550 --> 00:30:45,086
come in and pick up the nearest guitar

703
00:30:45,385 --> 00:30:46,921
and play the beginning
of Stairway to Heaven

704
00:30:47,220 --> 00:30:48,802
as badly as you can.
- Uh huh.

705
00:30:49,097 --> 00:30:51,259
I mean, I was close to going postal.

706
00:30:51,558 --> 00:30:53,299
So what are you doing now?

707
00:30:53,602 --> 00:30:57,562
- Well, don't laugh but, I'm
working as a real estate agent.

708
00:30:58,607 --> 00:30:59,563
Uh huh.

709
00:30:59,858 --> 00:31:02,066
Yeah.

710
00:31:02,361 --> 00:31:03,602
Yeah, a friend of mine has an office

711
00:31:03,904 --> 00:31:05,190
and she helped me study for my license,

712
00:31:05,489 --> 00:31:07,196
so now I'm out there
trying to sell houses.

713
00:31:07,491 --> 00:31:09,574
Uh huh, uh huh, how's it going?

714
00:31:09,868 --> 00:31:12,656
- I guess it's okay, but
I'm like six weeks into it

715
00:31:12,954 --> 00:31:14,115
and come to find out
that you don't get paid

716
00:31:14,414 --> 00:31:17,031
until you sell something,
which is like, oh great.

717
00:31:20,462 --> 00:31:22,328
So what exactly is your mission?

718
00:31:24,132 --> 00:31:24,667
I'm sorry?

719
00:31:24,966 --> 00:31:27,049
Your mission, in life.

720
00:31:27,344 --> 00:31:29,301
Like my mission is to get to know myself

721
00:31:29,596 --> 00:31:31,929
so that I can actually end
up focusing less on myself

722
00:31:32,224 --> 00:31:33,840
and more on others.

723
00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:35,098
I think.

724
00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:39,388
- I believe I was put here
on earth to have a child.

725
00:31:39,689 --> 00:31:40,304
Wow.

726
00:31:41,733 --> 00:31:44,976
I've never heard a man say that.

727
00:31:45,278 --> 00:31:47,110
I would love to have kids.

728
00:31:47,406 --> 00:31:49,739
I just hope I'm ready, because you know,

729
00:31:50,033 --> 00:31:51,820
we transfer all our
dysfunction onto our kids

730
00:31:52,119 --> 00:31:53,451
and I don't want to be guilty of that.

731
00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:57,034
I've already totally fucked up my dog.

732
00:32:00,043 --> 00:32:01,579
I want to have a child.

733
00:32:01,878 --> 00:32:03,460
That's all I want.

734
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,042
What is that noise?

735
00:32:09,344 --> 00:32:10,880
Cheap sound system.

736
00:32:13,348 --> 00:32:15,510
I don't trust you.

737
00:32:15,809 --> 00:32:16,469
Why?

738
00:32:16,768 --> 00:32:18,259
Because all men are the same.

739
00:32:18,562 --> 00:32:19,769
They'll say whatever they have to

740
00:32:20,063 --> 00:32:22,146
to get into your pants.

741
00:32:22,441 --> 00:32:23,977
That's terrible.

742
00:32:24,276 --> 00:32:26,393
But what would it be?

743
00:32:26,695 --> 00:32:27,310
What?

744
00:32:27,612 --> 00:32:30,320
- The thing I'd have to
say to get into your pants?

745
00:32:37,622 --> 00:32:40,035
It's a little messy.

746
00:32:40,333 --> 00:32:41,574
How long you been working on it?

747
00:32:41,877 --> 00:32:43,618
Oh, just a couple of months but,

748
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:46,913
I can already tell I'm never gonna stop.

749
00:32:47,215 --> 00:32:48,376
You know, one day I'm happy,

750
00:32:48,675 --> 00:32:51,133
oh, the breakfast nook should
be yellow, bright and sunny.

751
00:32:51,428 --> 00:32:54,171
The next minute I'm
down, I repaint it blue.

752
00:32:54,473 --> 00:32:56,135
It was black a couple of days ago.

753
00:32:56,433 --> 00:32:57,514
Black breakfast nook?

754
00:32:57,809 --> 00:33:00,142
Yeah, doesn't work, trust me.

755
00:33:00,437 --> 00:33:03,555
- Why don't you take that
arch thing out altogether?

756
00:33:03,857 --> 00:33:05,223
That whole thing?

757
00:33:05,525 --> 00:33:06,060
Why not?

758
00:33:06,359 --> 00:33:07,019
I have a feeling that what's out there

759
00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:09,527
is more interesting anyway.

760
00:33:16,995 --> 00:33:18,156
What are these?

761
00:33:20,207 --> 00:33:20,947
Oh, um,

762
00:33:22,292 --> 00:33:23,749
part of this whole thing that I'm doing,

763
00:33:24,044 --> 00:33:25,205
this whole changing thing.

764
00:33:25,504 --> 00:33:28,042
I'm supposed to turn myself
over to a higher power.

765
00:33:28,340 --> 00:33:30,172
My only problem is, I'm
having a little trouble

766
00:33:30,467 --> 00:33:34,006
choosing one, so I'm just covering my ass.

767
00:33:34,304 --> 00:33:35,044
Higher power?

768
00:33:35,347 --> 00:33:37,304
- Yeah, god, or whatever
you wanna call it.

769
00:33:37,599 --> 00:33:38,680
I'm looking into each one

770
00:33:38,975 --> 00:33:40,807
until I find the one
that connects with me.

771
00:33:41,102 --> 00:33:41,888
How will you know?

772
00:33:42,187 --> 00:33:43,894
I'll just know.

773
00:33:44,189 --> 00:33:44,804
How?

774
00:33:46,107 --> 00:33:49,521
Well, I'll feel something, I guess.

775
00:33:49,819 --> 00:33:51,310
This one looks very old.

776
00:33:51,613 --> 00:33:52,524
Actually, it's not old.

777
00:33:52,822 --> 00:33:54,563
I got this on QVC.

778
00:33:56,159 --> 00:33:57,866
You don't care about this.

779
00:33:58,161 --> 00:33:59,368
You're just tricking me.

780
00:33:59,663 --> 00:34:02,155
- There's no way to
prove that a god exists.

781
00:34:02,457 --> 00:34:03,117
So?

782
00:34:03,416 --> 00:34:04,952
So then, why look?

783
00:34:05,252 --> 00:34:06,538
That's not the point.

784
00:34:06,836 --> 00:34:08,577
Then what is the point?

785
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:09,870
Oh god, I knew it.

786
00:34:10,173 --> 00:34:12,085
I knew this normal guy, normal life thing

787
00:34:12,384 --> 00:34:13,500
had a big catch.

788
00:34:14,511 --> 00:34:17,595
Harold please, Harold, I have to stop.

789
00:34:19,099 --> 00:34:20,931
No, I, I can't do this.

790
00:34:26,481 --> 00:34:27,722
Part of this whole thing,

791
00:34:28,024 --> 00:34:29,481
this whole thing about me changing my life

792
00:34:29,776 --> 00:34:32,519
and living by a different set of rules is,

793
00:34:32,821 --> 00:34:34,938
you're gonna laugh, but
I've actually decided

794
00:34:35,240 --> 00:34:37,823
I'm not gonna have sex
until I get married.

795
00:34:38,118 --> 00:34:38,653
Sorry?

796
00:34:38,952 --> 00:34:42,912
- You see, I am finally free
not to have to have sex.

797
00:34:44,374 --> 00:34:45,160
Do you have any water?

798
00:34:45,458 --> 00:34:47,040
Nevermind, I'll help myself.

799
00:34:52,048 --> 00:34:52,834
Thanks for coming.

800
00:34:53,133 --> 00:34:54,624
- I don't understand what
we have to talk about.

801
00:34:54,926 --> 00:34:56,292
Have you gotten a woman pregnant yet?

802
00:34:56,595 --> 00:34:57,676
I'm very close, but there are variables

803
00:34:57,971 --> 00:34:59,712
the simulator didn't prepare me for.

804
00:35:00,015 --> 00:35:00,596
I warned you about that.

805
00:35:00,890 --> 00:35:01,425
You're close?

806
00:35:01,725 --> 00:35:03,136
- Yes, but the woman I
have the best chance with

807
00:35:03,435 --> 00:35:05,017
she wants to get married.

808
00:35:05,312 --> 00:35:06,519
Three billion females on the planet

809
00:35:06,813 --> 00:35:08,395
and you pick one that
wants to get married.

810
00:35:08,690 --> 00:35:09,976
- Yes.
- That is bad luck.

811
00:35:10,275 --> 00:35:11,982
- What should I do?
- Marry her.

812
00:35:12,277 --> 00:35:13,358
But I'm not trained for marriage.

813
00:35:13,653 --> 00:35:14,939
Perry tells me it's a living hell.

814
00:35:15,238 --> 00:35:15,819
Who's Perry?

815
00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:16,774
This guy at work.

816
00:35:17,073 --> 00:35:18,860
He didn't even think Susan was that hot.

817
00:35:19,159 --> 00:35:19,740
Who's Susan?

818
00:35:20,035 --> 00:35:21,401
Why is she hot, is she on fire?

819
00:35:21,703 --> 00:35:23,945
Susan is the woman.

820
00:35:24,247 --> 00:35:24,907
You know the projections.

821
00:35:25,206 --> 00:35:26,697
Earth probes are at Jupiter right now.

822
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,707
In three generations,
they'll know about us.

823
00:35:29,002 --> 00:35:30,868
Our takeover must be complete by then.

824
00:35:31,171 --> 00:35:33,834
Marry her, impregnate her,
and don't call for me again.

825
00:35:34,132 --> 00:35:35,543
The more we make contact,
the greater the risk

826
00:35:35,842 --> 00:35:37,925
of being discovered.

827
00:35:41,306 --> 00:35:42,467
Thanks a lot.

828
00:35:44,100 --> 00:35:46,057
- Did you notice anything
unusual about the jolt

829
00:35:46,353 --> 00:35:47,844
that hit the airplane?

830
00:35:48,146 --> 00:35:51,560
- Well, it wasn't like
anything I've ever experienced.

831
00:35:51,858 --> 00:35:53,144
Did you see anything fly by the aircraft

832
00:35:53,443 --> 00:35:55,184
around the time of the jolt?

833
00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:59,231
- No, I was busy trying to
keep things calm in the cabin.

834
00:35:59,532 --> 00:36:00,443
A lot of panic?

835
00:36:00,742 --> 00:36:02,574
You could imagine.

836
00:36:02,869 --> 00:36:04,155
Except for one jerk.

837
00:36:04,454 --> 00:36:05,911
He started hitting on me right after.

838
00:36:06,206 --> 00:36:07,572
He acted like nothing even happened.

839
00:36:07,874 --> 00:36:10,036
Can you believe that?

840
00:36:10,335 --> 00:36:12,668
- Tell me about the guy
that was hitting on you.

841
00:36:12,962 --> 00:36:16,501
- Darn it, I knew I
shouldn't have said anything.

842
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:18,632
Okay, I went out with a passenger.

843
00:36:18,927 --> 00:36:19,633
I'm guilty.

844
00:36:21,012 --> 00:36:21,672
Excuse me?

845
00:36:21,971 --> 00:36:23,633
- Listen, I know we're not
supposed to date passengers,

846
00:36:23,932 --> 00:36:26,140
but I met this guy after
the flight at a function.

847
00:36:26,434 --> 00:36:29,393
We went back to my place,
but nothing happened.

848
00:36:29,688 --> 00:36:32,522
So you first noticed him after the jolt?

849
00:36:32,816 --> 00:36:34,853
Yes, he was very obnoxious.

850
00:36:35,151 --> 00:36:36,733
What was he like before the jolt?

851
00:36:37,028 --> 00:36:39,736
- Well, I don't remember
seeing him before the jolt.

852
00:36:40,031 --> 00:36:43,240
- Did you notice anything
peculiar or unusual about him?

853
00:36:43,535 --> 00:36:45,071
Not really.

854
00:36:45,370 --> 00:36:49,831
Until we got to my place,
then there was something odd.

855
00:36:50,125 --> 00:36:50,990
Go on.

856
00:36:51,292 --> 00:36:55,206
- Again, nothing happened but,
while we were fooling around

857
00:36:55,505 --> 00:36:58,293
there was this strange humming sound

858
00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:01,041
coming from his pants.

859
00:37:03,805 --> 00:37:06,013
From the front or the back?

860
00:37:06,307 --> 00:37:08,924
The front, from the crotch area.

861
00:37:12,147 --> 00:37:14,230
I don't suppose you remember his name?

862
00:37:14,524 --> 00:37:15,810
Harold Anderson.

863
00:37:22,365 --> 00:37:25,028
- There was no Harold
Anderson on that flight.

864
00:38:01,821 --> 00:38:03,403
Oh my god.

865
00:38:11,206 --> 00:38:13,243
- We're going to have a
problem funding your loan

866
00:38:13,541 --> 00:38:14,577
because we did some checking,

867
00:38:14,876 --> 00:38:17,084
and it turns out there's
five frozen yogurt places

868
00:38:17,378 --> 00:38:19,370
right within a one mile radius.

869
00:38:19,672 --> 00:38:20,788
Hey stranger.

870
00:38:21,090 --> 00:38:22,422
Hey, it's you.

871
00:38:22,717 --> 00:38:25,334
- I'm thinking about
opening an account here.

872
00:38:25,637 --> 00:38:26,468
- Great.
- Yeah.

873
00:38:26,763 --> 00:38:27,844
I don't have a lot of money.

874
00:38:28,139 --> 00:38:30,552
I have uh, seven dollars and 35 cents.

875
00:38:30,850 --> 00:38:32,432
I'd like to put some of it into a T bill,

876
00:38:32,727 --> 00:38:34,559
some of it into the stock market,

877
00:38:34,854 --> 00:38:37,813
and the rest I'd just like
to save for a rainy day.

878
00:38:38,107 --> 00:38:39,814
Would you think about marrying me?

879
00:38:41,069 --> 00:38:42,935
All right, I deserved that.

880
00:38:43,238 --> 00:38:44,069
No, I'm serious.

881
00:38:44,364 --> 00:38:45,980
I was thinking about what
you said the other night.

882
00:38:46,282 --> 00:38:47,523
- Oh god, everything
I said the other night

883
00:38:47,826 --> 00:38:48,612
was such a turn off.

884
00:38:48,910 --> 00:38:50,446
I went completely overboard.

885
00:38:50,745 --> 00:38:52,031
It was typical Susan.

886
00:38:52,330 --> 00:38:53,821
You know what?

887
00:38:54,123 --> 00:38:56,240
There was some of that, but,

888
00:38:57,794 --> 00:39:00,582
Susan, what is your last name?

889
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:02,291
Um, Hart.

890
00:39:02,590 --> 00:39:06,550
- Susan Hart, would you do
me the honor of marrying me?

891
00:39:09,222 --> 00:39:11,509
Oh, you're serious.

892
00:39:11,808 --> 00:39:12,844
I'm serious, Susan

893
00:39:13,142 --> 00:39:13,802
I wanna marry you.

894
00:39:14,102 --> 00:39:15,092
I mean, I could court you for three months

895
00:39:15,395 --> 00:39:16,476
or six months or a year.

896
00:39:16,771 --> 00:39:18,012
We could really get to know each other

897
00:39:18,314 --> 00:39:20,522
and then break up, or,
we could do something

898
00:39:20,817 --> 00:39:23,025
that I think we both want now,

899
00:39:23,319 --> 00:39:25,106
and that's have a child.

900
00:39:27,532 --> 00:39:31,947
- Wow, and I just came
in to ask you to lunch.

901
00:39:32,245 --> 00:39:34,202
You really mean this?

902
00:39:34,497 --> 00:39:35,112
Yes.

903
00:39:37,333 --> 00:39:38,540
Can I think about it?

904
00:39:38,835 --> 00:39:41,373
Well, if you think you have to.

905
00:39:47,093 --> 00:39:47,833
Oh, hmm.

906
00:39:49,345 --> 00:39:52,213
This room will be perfect for the baby.

907
00:39:52,515 --> 00:39:54,131
Oh, you have a baby?

908
00:39:54,434 --> 00:39:57,097
We're having one, in about six months.

909
00:39:57,395 --> 00:40:00,183
Congratulations, that's wonderful.

910
00:40:02,066 --> 00:40:03,602
I'm sure they'll accept our offer.

911
00:40:03,902 --> 00:40:05,438
You're gonna be very happy here.

912
00:40:05,737 --> 00:40:07,273
- Well thanks for everything,
you've been great.

913
00:40:07,572 --> 00:40:09,438
We'll talk to you soon.

914
00:40:13,119 --> 00:40:13,779
What?

915
00:40:14,078 --> 00:40:16,035
- Why don't you just fuck
her right in front of me?

916
00:40:16,331 --> 00:40:17,617
You're never gettin' pregnant again.

917
00:40:17,916 --> 00:40:18,531
Never.

918
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:41,721
It's insanity.

919
00:40:42,023 --> 00:40:43,810
Come on Suze, you're off the booze,

920
00:40:44,108 --> 00:40:45,144
you're off the musicians,

921
00:40:45,443 --> 00:40:46,650
you're finally free of all that bullshit

922
00:40:46,945 --> 00:40:48,026
and now you wanna get married?

923
00:40:48,321 --> 00:40:49,732
And to a man you barely know?

924
00:40:50,031 --> 00:40:51,192
Don't make me put
together an intervention.

925
00:40:51,491 --> 00:40:52,777
I don't have time for that.
- Thank you.

926
00:40:53,076 --> 00:40:53,611
Where the hell's the waiter?

927
00:40:53,910 --> 00:40:54,616
This is Susan's life.

928
00:40:54,911 --> 00:40:55,742
She knows what's best for her.

929
00:40:56,037 --> 00:40:57,824
It's not our place to pass judgement.

930
00:40:58,122 --> 00:40:59,203
- That's right, if she
wants to get married

931
00:40:59,499 --> 00:41:02,287
and make a complete idiot of
herself, then it's her choice.

932
00:41:02,585 --> 00:41:03,666
Is that the waiter, hello?

933
00:41:03,962 --> 00:41:05,373
- No, that's just a gay
guy without a jacket.

934
00:41:05,672 --> 00:41:06,662
Why is getting married a bad choice?

935
00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:07,921
- Oh please.
- Oh come on,

936
00:41:08,216 --> 00:41:09,423
she doesn't even know the man.

937
00:41:09,717 --> 00:41:10,798
Well, there is something to be said

938
00:41:11,094 --> 00:41:13,552
for going to the end of the
diving board and jumping off.

939
00:41:13,846 --> 00:41:14,802
I mean, life is short.

940
00:41:15,098 --> 00:41:16,134
Yeah, until you marry the wrong guy

941
00:41:16,432 --> 00:41:17,548
and then it gets pretty goddamn long.

942
00:41:17,850 --> 00:41:18,385
Amen.

943
00:41:18,685 --> 00:41:19,391
- You know, I am almost
completely dehydrated.

944
00:41:19,686 --> 00:41:20,802
Well, what do you wanna do, Susan?

945
00:41:21,104 --> 00:41:22,094
I mean, what are you feeling?

946
00:41:22,397 --> 00:41:23,808
- I can tell you exactly
what she's thinking.

947
00:41:24,107 --> 00:41:25,439
She thinks being single is great,

948
00:41:25,733 --> 00:41:26,689
but then she goes out onto the street

949
00:41:26,985 --> 00:41:27,941
or she goes into people's homes,

950
00:41:28,236 --> 00:41:29,852
and then she just sees
these babies everywhere.

951
00:41:30,154 --> 00:41:30,689
They're taking over.

952
00:41:30,989 --> 00:41:32,070
I used to think the very same thing,

953
00:41:32,365 --> 00:41:34,357
and then I would look
at those little shits

954
00:41:34,659 --> 00:41:35,820
and it would make me so angry

955
00:41:36,119 --> 00:41:37,735
because it looks like they're
taunting you by saying,

956
00:41:38,037 --> 00:41:39,494
"Why don't you have one of me yet?

957
00:41:39,789 --> 00:41:41,576
"Why are you such a big a loser?"

958
00:41:41,874 --> 00:41:42,910
You don't like my baby?

959
00:41:43,209 --> 00:41:44,290
Liz, your baby's adorable.

960
00:41:44,585 --> 00:41:45,416
As soon as her head gets normal,

961
00:41:45,712 --> 00:41:46,748
she's gonna be gorgeous, Liz.

962
00:41:47,046 --> 00:41:48,287
Her head is normal.

963
00:41:48,589 --> 00:41:49,170
I'm kidding.

964
00:41:49,465 --> 00:41:50,501
Now wait just a minute, I wanna find out

965
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:51,961
more about this guy.

966
00:41:52,260 --> 00:41:52,875
Is he rich?

967
00:41:53,177 --> 00:41:54,884
- You can't ask that.
- Why not?

968
00:41:55,179 --> 00:41:57,136
- Because,
she doesn't know, okay?

969
00:41:57,432 --> 00:41:59,048
And how can you have a child with a man

970
00:41:59,350 --> 00:42:00,466
that you don't even know?

971
00:42:00,768 --> 00:42:02,555
- Excuse me, you
were artificially inseminated,

972
00:42:02,854 --> 00:42:03,389
remember?

973
00:42:03,688 --> 00:42:05,429
- Yes I was,
but I knew the technician

974
00:42:05,732 --> 00:42:07,769
longer than she's known this guy.

975
00:42:08,067 --> 00:42:09,308
I'm out of time.

976
00:42:09,610 --> 00:42:12,023
Oh, do you really have to go?

977
00:42:12,321 --> 00:42:13,528
No.

978
00:42:13,823 --> 00:42:15,906
I'm running out of time.

979
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:17,361
No, I think that would be great.

980
00:42:17,660 --> 00:42:18,741
I'm looking forward to it.

981
00:42:20,079 --> 00:42:22,662
Oh, hold on, someone's on the other line.

982
00:42:22,957 --> 00:42:23,492
Hello?

983
00:42:23,791 --> 00:42:24,577
Hi, Harold?

984
00:42:24,876 --> 00:42:25,957
It's me.

985
00:42:26,252 --> 00:42:26,867
Hey me.

986
00:42:28,671 --> 00:42:29,411
Yes.

987
00:42:30,923 --> 00:42:32,334
The answer is yes.

988
00:42:33,634 --> 00:42:34,966
I will marry you.

989
00:42:36,679 --> 00:42:38,136
Hold on a second.

990
00:42:41,517 --> 00:42:42,803
Uh Debbie, listen, I'm not gonna be able

991
00:42:43,102 --> 00:42:45,310
to go rollerblading with
you this weekend after all.

992
00:42:45,605 --> 00:42:47,346
I'm getting married, bye.

993
00:42:47,648 --> 00:42:51,983
I'm back, Mrs. Anderson.

994
00:42:52,278 --> 00:42:54,645
I like the sound of that.

995
00:42:54,947 --> 00:42:55,562
Me too.

996
00:42:56,783 --> 00:42:57,569
You sure you don't mind?

997
00:42:57,867 --> 00:42:59,324
- No, no, no, I'll handle
it, is this everything?

998
00:42:59,619 --> 00:43:00,655
- Yeah, this is all of my
work for the next week,

999
00:43:00,953 --> 00:43:02,034
so if any of my clients call you,

1000
00:43:02,330 --> 00:43:03,787
you'll have all their information.

1001
00:43:04,082 --> 00:43:04,788
You are fast, man.

1002
00:43:05,083 --> 00:43:05,823
I didn't even know you were doing her.

1003
00:43:06,125 --> 00:43:07,115
I'm not.

1004
00:43:07,418 --> 00:43:10,206
- You're marrying a woman
you've never had sex with?

1005
00:43:10,505 --> 00:43:11,245
Are you insane?

1006
00:43:11,547 --> 00:43:12,754
Didn't you see the crying game?

1007
00:43:13,049 --> 00:43:14,210
You think she's got the
goods under her skirt,

1008
00:43:14,509 --> 00:43:16,341
you lift it up, it's Oscar Meyer time.

1009
00:43:16,636 --> 00:43:17,171
Really.

1010
00:43:17,470 --> 00:43:18,927
Oh my god, is this your
third quarter report?

1011
00:43:19,222 --> 00:43:21,555
- Yeah, Fisk won't need
this 'til I get back.

1012
00:43:21,849 --> 00:43:23,090
- Damn it.
- What?

1013
00:43:23,392 --> 00:43:24,473
Let's go.

1014
00:43:24,769 --> 00:43:26,305
Listen to me, what am
I talking about here?

1015
00:43:26,604 --> 00:43:27,310
I'm such a downer.

1016
00:43:27,605 --> 00:43:29,562
Imagine not banging your
wife until you're married.

1017
00:43:29,857 --> 00:43:30,722
How romantic is that?

1018
00:43:31,025 --> 00:43:31,560
Right.

1019
00:43:31,859 --> 00:43:32,895
You have a great wedding.

1020
00:43:33,194 --> 00:43:33,980
Everything will work out fine.

1021
00:43:34,278 --> 00:43:35,940
Not that that's ever
happened, I'm kidding.

1022
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:37,025
Congratulations.

1023
00:43:37,323 --> 00:43:38,814
Hey, thanks again for doing this.

1024
00:43:39,117 --> 00:43:41,109
Go get her, tiger.

1025
00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:58,299
I promise to respect you,

1026
00:43:58,594 --> 00:44:01,803
even if I don't always understand you.

1027
00:44:02,098 --> 00:44:05,387
Um, I will honor you and take care of you,

1028
00:44:06,602 --> 00:44:08,559
and though it's not politically correct,

1029
00:44:08,855 --> 00:44:12,474
I will obey you as long as
your request is reasonable.

1030
00:44:12,775 --> 00:44:15,392
I will be mother to your children,

1031
00:44:16,529 --> 00:44:19,442
and love you until death do us part.

1032
00:44:20,783 --> 00:44:21,694
Very nice.

1033
00:44:22,702 --> 00:44:23,738
Harold?

1034
00:44:24,036 --> 00:44:24,571
Present.

1035
00:44:24,871 --> 00:44:26,863
No, your vows are next.

1036
00:44:27,165 --> 00:44:31,125
- This is
where they all get nervous.

1037
00:44:34,922 --> 00:44:38,506
- Susan, I'm so happy
we're getting married.

1038
00:44:42,054 --> 00:44:43,420
Well, you know what they say.

1039
00:44:43,723 --> 00:44:45,430
Sometimes less is more.

1040
00:44:46,976 --> 00:44:49,889
Harold and Susan, by
the powers granted in me

1041
00:44:50,188 --> 00:44:51,554
by the state of Nevada,

1042
00:44:51,856 --> 00:44:54,724
I now pronounce you husband and wife.

1043
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,192
You can kiss the bride.

1044
00:45:16,505 --> 00:45:18,292
Oh, oh Harold!

1045
00:46:14,438 --> 00:46:16,054
Stop, stop.

1046
00:46:16,357 --> 00:46:18,849
I never thought I'd say this,
but I can't take it anymore.

1047
00:46:19,151 --> 00:46:20,437
- A few more times.
- No.

1048
00:46:20,736 --> 00:46:21,817
Where did you learn that?

1049
00:46:22,113 --> 00:46:22,648
Learn what?

1050
00:46:22,947 --> 00:46:23,983
You're amazing.

1051
00:46:24,282 --> 00:46:25,443
I've had so many orgasms.

1052
00:46:25,741 --> 00:46:28,609
Some are still stacked up waiting to land.

1053
00:46:28,911 --> 00:46:29,992
Aren't you tired?

1054
00:46:30,288 --> 00:46:31,324
Tired of waiting.

1055
00:46:31,622 --> 00:46:33,238
Come on, let's get it on.

1056
00:46:33,541 --> 00:46:34,406
Let's talk.

1057
00:46:35,793 --> 00:46:36,533
Okay.

1058
00:46:40,715 --> 00:46:42,502
- I loved our
wedding, but I still wish

1059
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:44,917
we'd gotten married in a
church with a lot of people.

1060
00:46:45,219 --> 00:46:47,427
I always dreamed our wedding like that.

1061
00:46:47,722 --> 00:46:48,337
Me too.

1062
00:46:49,724 --> 00:46:50,714
Stop, stop.

1063
00:46:54,353 --> 00:46:56,390
I thought we'd take one
of those helicopter trips

1064
00:46:56,689 --> 00:46:57,975
over Hoover dam or something.

1065
00:46:58,274 --> 00:46:59,264
When we could be making love?

1066
00:46:59,567 --> 00:47:01,058
Harold, I need a break.

1067
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,602
We've been screwing for 21 hours non-stop.

1068
00:47:03,904 --> 00:47:04,815
We've had room service.

1069
00:47:05,114 --> 00:47:06,605
We did it while I ate.

1070
00:47:06,907 --> 00:47:07,863
If I'd known that was gonna happen,

1071
00:47:08,159 --> 00:47:09,400
I wouldn't have ordered the soup.

1072
00:47:09,702 --> 00:47:10,692
You know, this is what I heard happens

1073
00:47:10,995 --> 00:47:13,112
after you get married, the
woman loses interest in sex.

1074
00:47:13,414 --> 00:47:15,781
Harold, I love sex with you but,

1075
00:47:16,083 --> 00:47:18,416
I wanna do something that involves,

1076
00:47:18,711 --> 00:47:20,668
oh I don't know, standing.

1077
00:47:22,131 --> 00:47:25,590
Let's do some goofy tourist thing.

1078
00:47:25,885 --> 00:47:27,126
Like what?

1079
00:47:33,976 --> 00:47:35,262
So, back to the room then?

1080
00:47:45,321 --> 00:47:46,653
Knock knock.

1081
00:47:46,947 --> 00:47:50,406
- Perry, I am very
impressed with this work.

1082
00:47:51,577 --> 00:47:52,567
Thank you.

1083
00:47:52,870 --> 00:47:54,111
Not only have you done your work,

1084
00:47:54,413 --> 00:47:55,995
but it looks like you've
done Anderson's work as well,

1085
00:47:56,290 --> 00:47:58,031
because this third quarter
report is brilliant.

1086
00:47:58,334 --> 00:47:59,370
I didn't know you had it in ya.

1087
00:47:59,668 --> 00:48:01,876
- Well, now you do, and I hope
you'll keep that in mind sir

1088
00:48:02,171 --> 00:48:05,084
when you're picking a new
vice president for this bank.

1089
00:48:05,383 --> 00:48:05,998
Well I have to admit that Harold

1090
00:48:06,300 --> 00:48:07,290
had the inside track but...

1091
00:48:07,593 --> 00:48:11,132
- You know, I don't know
if I trust Anderson.

1092
00:48:11,430 --> 00:48:13,467
It's strange, but what kinda guy

1093
00:48:13,766 --> 00:48:16,725
marries a chick after one date?

1094
00:48:17,019 --> 00:48:18,635
Smell some sorta weird cult thing.

1095
00:48:18,938 --> 00:48:22,397
I mean, I've no
facts at all to back that up,

1096
00:48:22,691 --> 00:48:25,104
but they show up dead with 30
or 40 of their best friends,

1097
00:48:25,403 --> 00:48:26,894
then we'll know for sure.

1098
00:48:27,196 --> 00:48:28,312
Well, I'm sure he's not...

1099
00:48:28,614 --> 00:48:30,822
- And not to tell tales,
but he is kinda lazy,

1100
00:48:31,117 --> 00:48:32,107
except for when you're around.

1101
00:48:32,410 --> 00:48:33,491
The rest of the time he sits around here

1102
00:48:33,786 --> 00:48:35,322
talking about his time spent in prison.

1103
00:48:35,621 --> 00:48:36,532
Ah, wasn't even supposed to mention that.

1104
00:48:36,831 --> 00:48:38,117
- I'm back.
- Oh!

1105
00:48:38,416 --> 00:48:39,031
Harold, hello.

1106
00:48:39,333 --> 00:48:41,074
Hey, buddy, how was the honeymoon?

1107
00:48:41,377 --> 00:48:42,333
Good, great.

1108
00:48:43,254 --> 00:48:44,119
How was Vegas?

1109
00:48:44,422 --> 00:48:45,003
Eh, nevermind.

1110
00:48:45,297 --> 00:48:47,163
How many times you bang the wifey?

1111
00:48:47,466 --> 00:48:48,547
126.

1112
00:48:53,597 --> 00:48:55,429
Come on, how many?

1113
00:48:55,724 --> 00:48:56,430
126, why?

1114
00:48:58,018 --> 00:48:59,634
Are you serious?

1115
00:48:59,937 --> 00:49:01,144
126 times in a week?

1116
00:49:01,439 --> 00:49:05,058
- Harold, there's a Mr.
Roland Jones here to see you.

1117
00:49:05,359 --> 00:49:06,145
Excuse me.

1118
00:49:08,571 --> 00:49:11,314
I thought you said he was lazy?

1119
00:49:21,292 --> 00:49:23,249
Hi, Harold Anderson.

1120
00:49:23,544 --> 00:49:24,409
Roland Jones.

1121
00:49:24,712 --> 00:49:25,543
- Have a seat.
- Thank you.

1122
00:49:25,838 --> 00:49:27,170
I won't take up much of your time.

1123
00:49:27,465 --> 00:49:29,422
I'm with the Federal Aviation Authority.

1124
00:49:29,717 --> 00:49:31,379
- Oh, don't tell me the
government needs a loan.

1125
00:49:32,928 --> 00:49:33,884
That's another story.

1126
00:49:34,180 --> 00:49:36,388
Maybe you can help me out here.

1127
00:49:36,682 --> 00:49:39,174
You were on an Arizona
West flight from Seattle

1128
00:49:39,477 --> 00:49:40,968
a couple of weeks ago, were you not?

1129
00:49:41,270 --> 00:49:41,805
I believe I was.

1130
00:49:42,104 --> 00:49:44,471
I'd have to check my date
planner, I do a lot of flying.

1131
00:49:44,773 --> 00:49:46,059
- Well let me help to
remind you of the flight.

1132
00:49:46,358 --> 00:49:48,645
The plane experienced a
severe episode of turbulence

1133
00:49:48,944 --> 00:49:50,606
that frightened a lot of the passengers.

1134
00:49:50,905 --> 00:49:53,067
- Well, I don't remember
it being that scary.

1135
00:49:53,365 --> 00:49:54,947
I remember a small bump and then,

1136
00:49:55,242 --> 00:49:56,323
was there something mechanically wrong

1137
00:49:56,619 --> 00:49:58,201
with the plane that caused that?

1138
00:49:58,496 --> 00:49:59,452
Do you still have your ticket?

1139
00:49:59,747 --> 00:50:00,362
It would really be a help.

1140
00:50:00,664 --> 00:50:02,701
- I wish I did, I throw
all that stuff out.

1141
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:03,911
You don't save it for the records?

1142
00:50:04,210 --> 00:50:05,542
No, don't keep records.

1143
00:50:05,836 --> 00:50:06,371
Don't tell my boss.

1144
00:50:06,670 --> 00:50:07,911
I could win a Pulitzer Prize for fiction

1145
00:50:08,214 --> 00:50:10,501
for some of my expense reports.

1146
00:50:14,470 --> 00:50:16,757
I won't waste anymore of your time.

1147
00:50:17,056 --> 00:50:19,673
Woops, a little light reading.

1148
00:50:19,975 --> 00:50:23,935
Have you seen this
month's issue of Playboy?

1149
00:50:24,230 --> 00:50:26,563
Check out this month's Playmate.

1150
00:50:26,857 --> 00:50:30,225
Tell me if you think
those babies are real.

1151
00:50:45,084 --> 00:50:47,417
I think those are real.

1152
00:50:47,711 --> 00:50:48,326
Me too.

1153
00:50:49,505 --> 00:50:50,837
I'll be in touch.

1154
00:50:55,636 --> 00:50:56,376
God.

1155
00:50:59,932 --> 00:51:01,969
Okay, so, where are the pictures?

1156
00:51:02,268 --> 00:51:02,883
Pictures?

1157
00:51:03,185 --> 00:51:04,141
Of the honeymoon.

1158
00:51:04,436 --> 00:51:05,768
As my friend you have a moral obligation

1159
00:51:06,063 --> 00:51:07,520
to bore the shit out of me
with your honeymoon pictures.

1160
00:51:07,815 --> 00:51:08,646
Well, I don't have any.

1161
00:51:08,941 --> 00:51:10,352
- Oh come on, you didn't
take any pictures?

1162
00:51:10,651 --> 00:51:13,064
- No, I took some, but I wanted
to get the roll filled up

1163
00:51:13,362 --> 00:51:14,478
before I had it processed.

1164
00:51:14,780 --> 00:51:16,112
Okay wait, you took less than one roll

1165
00:51:16,407 --> 00:51:17,818
of pictures on your honeymoon?

1166
00:51:18,117 --> 00:51:19,358
- Yeah.
- What is that?

1167
00:51:19,660 --> 00:51:22,573
- I guess she was kept
busy doing other things.

1168
00:51:22,871 --> 00:51:24,362
You could say that.

1169
00:51:28,002 --> 00:51:29,493
It was pretty great.

1170
00:51:29,795 --> 00:51:32,663
I'll bet, I'll bet, I'll bet.

1171
00:51:32,965 --> 00:51:34,172
There's just one thing.

1172
00:51:34,466 --> 00:51:36,378
Yes well, there's always one thing.

1173
00:51:36,677 --> 00:51:37,793
Now I don't know how serious this is

1174
00:51:38,095 --> 00:51:40,553
or if I should be worried but...

1175
00:51:41,765 --> 00:51:42,425
What?

1176
00:51:42,725 --> 00:51:45,012
Well, how should I put this?

1177
00:51:47,062 --> 00:51:50,146
When he's aroused, his penis vibrates.

1178
00:51:52,151 --> 00:51:54,438
Hey, two, two, two mints in one.

1179
00:51:54,737 --> 00:51:56,694
- Wait a second, what
do you mean it vibrates?

1180
00:51:56,989 --> 00:51:58,480
Vibrates is not really the word.

1181
00:51:58,782 --> 00:52:02,241
It's more like a, there's a humming sound.

1182
00:52:02,536 --> 00:52:03,697
Humming.

1183
00:52:03,996 --> 00:52:05,237
Hey, I was with a black guy once

1184
00:52:05,539 --> 00:52:07,371
and his penis whistled
when he got excited.

1185
00:52:07,666 --> 00:52:08,452
Oh stop it.

1186
00:52:08,751 --> 00:52:09,332
It did not.

1187
00:52:09,627 --> 00:52:10,708
What did it whistle?

1188
00:52:11,003 --> 00:52:12,039
The score from Guys and Dolls.

1189
00:52:12,338 --> 00:52:13,704
It just whistled, isn't that enough?

1190
00:52:14,006 --> 00:52:14,792
You would ask that.

1191
00:52:15,090 --> 00:52:17,332
- Every time we had sex, I
thought I was making tea.

1192
00:52:17,635 --> 00:52:18,921
I love it, I love it.

1193
00:52:20,888 --> 00:52:23,346
Hi honey, you're home, hi.

1194
00:52:23,641 --> 00:52:24,757
You remember the girls.

1195
00:52:25,059 --> 00:52:25,799
Yes, hello.

1196
00:52:26,101 --> 00:52:26,887
Oh, hello.

1197
00:52:34,860 --> 00:52:35,600
Showtime.

1198
00:52:41,492 --> 00:52:43,984
I guess you don't like my friends.

1199
00:52:44,286 --> 00:52:46,118
Why do you say that?

1200
00:52:46,413 --> 00:52:48,245
Well, you barely acknowledged them.

1201
00:52:48,540 --> 00:52:49,656
What's the problem?

1202
00:52:49,958 --> 00:52:52,826
I don't know, they're your friends.

1203
00:52:53,962 --> 00:52:55,123
What's wrong?

1204
00:52:56,632 --> 00:52:57,372
Nothing.

1205
00:52:58,717 --> 00:53:00,083
I had a bad day at work.

1206
00:53:00,386 --> 00:53:02,594
Oh, you wanna talk about it?

1207
00:53:02,888 --> 00:53:03,503
Well...

1208
00:53:04,848 --> 00:53:06,714
Have you taken the pregnancy test yet?

1209
00:53:07,017 --> 00:53:08,849
- No, but I'll take another
one in a couple of days.

1210
00:53:09,144 --> 00:53:13,559
Harold, you're not even looking
at me when I talk to you.

1211
00:53:13,857 --> 00:53:15,064
Okay, you're looking at me

1212
00:53:15,359 --> 00:53:17,146
but you're not really looking at me.

1213
00:53:17,444 --> 00:53:20,482
- I'm looking right at you
and listening, I swear.

1214
00:53:20,781 --> 00:53:21,988
Oh, I'm sorry.

1215
00:53:22,282 --> 00:53:24,865
It's probably not you, it's probably me.

1216
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:27,152
Can we just try to have a conversation?

1217
00:53:28,789 --> 00:53:31,122
Oh Christ, turn that thing off.

1218
00:53:57,151 --> 00:53:58,858
- Maybe you
should pee on it again.

1219
00:53:59,153 --> 00:54:01,019
You pee on it, I'm done.

1220
00:54:01,321 --> 00:54:02,528
I just wanna know for sure.

1221
00:54:02,823 --> 00:54:03,688
You know, I'm starting to feel like

1222
00:54:03,991 --> 00:54:05,983
I'd be worth nothing to
you if I couldn't conceive.

1223
00:54:06,285 --> 00:54:07,526
I mean, what if I can't have a baby?

1224
00:54:07,828 --> 00:54:09,069
Do you ever think about that?
- You can have a baby.

1225
00:54:09,371 --> 00:54:12,114
- I led a pretty wild life,
all that sex and drinking.

1226
00:54:12,416 --> 00:54:13,623
You know, maybe I can't conceive.

1227
00:54:13,917 --> 00:54:16,034
- How much sex and drinking?
- That's not the point.

1228
00:54:16,336 --> 00:54:17,372
Well you brought it up.

1229
00:54:17,671 --> 00:54:19,082
How would we know for sure?

1230
00:54:19,381 --> 00:54:19,916
I don't know.

1231
00:54:20,215 --> 00:54:21,456
I'd have to have an exam.

1232
00:54:21,759 --> 00:54:24,672
Well let's call and schedule something.

1233
00:54:24,970 --> 00:54:26,757
I have to talk to you.

1234
00:54:33,896 --> 00:54:34,761
What?

1235
00:54:35,063 --> 00:54:35,644
Nothing.

1236
00:54:35,939 --> 00:54:38,147
You said you wanted to talk.

1237
00:54:38,442 --> 00:54:39,728
I changed my mind.

1238
00:54:40,027 --> 00:54:40,642
Okay.

1239
00:54:41,653 --> 00:54:43,986
Harold, what are you thinking?

1240
00:54:44,281 --> 00:54:45,613
- Who?
- You.

1241
00:54:45,908 --> 00:54:48,776
What are you thinking right now?

1242
00:54:49,077 --> 00:54:50,784
Uh, I don't remember.

1243
00:54:52,164 --> 00:54:54,076
- Look, it's not like the
world is gonna stop spinning

1244
00:54:54,374 --> 00:54:56,582
if I can't have a child, you know.

1245
00:54:56,877 --> 00:54:59,870
I mean, there's such a thing as adoption.

1246
00:55:00,172 --> 00:55:02,414
That's a viable alternative.

1247
00:55:02,716 --> 00:55:04,673
What are you thinking now?

1248
00:55:06,220 --> 00:55:07,631
I'm thinking that you're telling me

1249
00:55:07,930 --> 00:55:09,421
you can't have a baby.

1250
00:55:09,723 --> 00:55:11,214
Is that all you're thinking?

1251
00:55:11,517 --> 00:55:12,553
Let me think.

1252
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:14,300
Yeah.

1253
00:55:16,104 --> 00:55:17,515
I wanna have a child.

1254
00:55:17,815 --> 00:55:20,057
You know, I'm as in to
having a child as you are,

1255
00:55:20,359 --> 00:55:22,851
but I'm getting this vibe from you,

1256
00:55:23,153 --> 00:55:25,520
this vibe that says, I don't know,

1257
00:55:25,823 --> 00:55:27,906
I'm holding out on you or I don't want it

1258
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:29,361
as much as you do.

1259
00:55:29,660 --> 00:55:33,074
Well, whether I can have
a child or if I can't,

1260
00:55:33,372 --> 00:55:36,365
there has to be more to this relationship.

1261
00:55:36,667 --> 00:55:39,000
Like, for instance,
maybe some communication

1262
00:55:39,294 --> 00:55:43,208
and a little feeling, which
is not what I'm getting.

1263
00:55:45,050 --> 00:55:46,586
I suggest you start opening up here

1264
00:55:46,885 --> 00:55:49,423
and stop pressuring me about the baby,

1265
00:55:49,721 --> 00:55:51,883
because at this point
I'm ready to buy a baby

1266
00:55:52,182 --> 00:55:54,048
and shove it up your ass.

1267
00:56:01,066 --> 00:56:03,809
This might be a good
time to sit next to me

1268
00:56:04,111 --> 00:56:05,727
and try to comfort me.

1269
00:56:16,999 --> 00:56:21,084
You might wanna consider
putting your arm around me.

1270
00:56:29,887 --> 00:56:33,380
You should try to put
some feeling into it.

1271
00:56:36,643 --> 00:56:38,635
Not that kind of feeling!

1272
00:56:40,230 --> 00:56:41,687
Jesus, Harold.

1273
00:56:41,982 --> 00:56:44,349
At times like this I feel
like I don't even know you.

1274
00:56:44,651 --> 00:56:45,607
Well you don't.

1275
00:56:45,903 --> 00:56:47,690
Maybe that's why you're
having that feeling.

1276
00:56:47,988 --> 00:56:48,648
What?

1277
00:56:48,947 --> 00:56:51,906
You don't really know me, you don't.

1278
00:56:53,785 --> 00:56:55,151
I don't know what to say.

1279
00:56:55,454 --> 00:56:56,695
Why don't you just try talking to me

1280
00:56:56,997 --> 00:56:58,363
like a human being.

1281
00:57:06,256 --> 00:57:08,168
I have to take a little walk.

1282
00:57:08,467 --> 00:57:10,174
I'll be right back.

1283
00:57:12,471 --> 00:57:13,678
Why are you drinking?

1284
00:57:13,972 --> 00:57:14,928
You gotta get me outta this.

1285
00:57:15,223 --> 00:57:15,838
You know, when we met, she liked it

1286
00:57:16,141 --> 00:57:17,097
that I didn't talk about myself.

1287
00:57:17,392 --> 00:57:18,382
Now she wants to know every damn thing

1288
00:57:18,685 --> 00:57:19,766
I'm thinking and feeling.

1289
00:57:20,062 --> 00:57:21,644
- Who?
- Susan, the wife.

1290
00:57:21,939 --> 00:57:22,770
It's a living hell.

1291
00:57:23,065 --> 00:57:24,806
And this guy, Perry, at work, he turned in

1292
00:57:25,108 --> 00:57:27,441
my third quarter report and
claimed the work was his own.

1293
00:57:27,736 --> 00:57:28,943
What if he gets that promotion?

1294
00:57:29,237 --> 00:57:31,900
I am this close to taking off
the penis and coming home.

1295
00:57:32,199 --> 00:57:32,985
You will do no such thing.

1296
00:57:33,283 --> 00:57:35,195
Your penis is staying right where it is.

1297
00:57:35,494 --> 00:57:36,405
How's it working, by the way?

1298
00:57:36,703 --> 00:57:38,410
Oh, it's a major pain in the ass.

1299
00:57:38,705 --> 00:57:39,821
They installed it too far back?

1300
00:57:40,123 --> 00:57:41,204
No, it hums.

1301
00:57:41,500 --> 00:57:42,707
I'll have them work on it.

1302
00:57:43,001 --> 00:57:44,617
That's why you're here, so
we can make adjustments.

1303
00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:46,912
- She thinks she might not
even be able to have a baby.

1304
00:57:47,214 --> 00:57:47,749
Isn't that great?

1305
00:57:48,048 --> 00:57:49,664
What am I supposed to do
if she can't have a child?

1306
00:57:49,967 --> 00:57:52,129
- I've got four million men
waiting for you to succeed.

1307
00:57:52,427 --> 00:57:53,338
If this woman can't have a baby,

1308
00:57:53,637 --> 00:57:55,344
find someone who can and get her pregnant.

1309
00:57:55,639 --> 00:57:57,972
All right, I'll cheat on my wife.

1310
00:57:58,266 --> 00:57:59,928
I don't know what that means.

1311
00:58:00,227 --> 00:58:03,015
I want you to complete your mission.

1312
00:58:04,648 --> 00:58:07,391
Fine, I'll get someone else pregnant.

1313
00:58:07,693 --> 00:58:09,275
Stop drinking.

1314
00:58:09,569 --> 00:58:11,526
And don't worry, I'll get
on your penis right away.

1315
00:58:11,822 --> 00:58:14,064
Oh, could you say that a little louder?

1316
00:58:15,367 --> 00:58:17,074
- Just put it in
triplicate, give it to him.

1317
00:58:17,369 --> 00:58:18,826
Wait, hang on.

1318
00:58:19,121 --> 00:58:20,077
Hang on!

1319
00:58:20,372 --> 00:58:21,237
Hello?

1320
00:58:21,540 --> 00:58:24,374
Yeah, Randy just talk, I can hear ya.

1321
00:58:25,961 --> 00:58:27,293
Arizona West 771?

1322
00:58:28,338 --> 00:58:30,170
The same kind of jolt?

1323
00:58:30,465 --> 00:58:32,422
How many jolts were there?

1324
00:58:33,885 --> 00:58:35,126
Okay listen, listen to me.

1325
00:58:35,429 --> 00:58:37,591
Do you have a passenger list there?

1326
00:58:37,889 --> 00:58:38,424
Okay.

1327
00:58:38,724 --> 00:58:42,013
Is there a Harold Anderson on board?

1328
00:58:42,310 --> 00:58:44,723
There is?

1329
00:58:45,022 --> 00:58:46,308
What a coincidence.

1330
00:58:48,442 --> 00:58:50,149
I'm an alien from another planet.

1331
00:58:50,444 --> 00:58:53,061
Really?

1332
00:58:53,363 --> 00:58:56,572
Yeah, somewhere way the hell out there.

1333
00:58:57,743 --> 00:59:00,827
- How come you don't
have a head like a pear

1334
00:59:01,121 --> 00:59:02,407
with the big eyes?

1335
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:06,992
Well you know, there's a lotta aliens.

1336
00:59:07,294 --> 00:59:09,001
We're not the only ones.

1337
00:59:09,296 --> 00:59:11,037
Those guys with the big heads scare me.

1338
00:59:11,339 --> 00:59:13,046
I wouldn't wanna bump into one of them.

1339
00:59:13,341 --> 00:59:15,583
I hear they perform those anal probes.

1340
00:59:15,886 --> 00:59:17,297
How primitive is that technology?

1341
00:59:17,596 --> 00:59:20,054
"Hello, we've come six trillion
miles to study your ass.

1342
00:59:20,348 --> 00:59:22,260
"We're proctologists from space."

1343
00:59:24,269 --> 00:59:27,057
Can I have another one here?

1344
00:59:27,355 --> 00:59:28,812
What's it all about?

1345
00:59:33,653 --> 00:59:35,440
Yeah, go ahead and rest.

1346
00:59:42,537 --> 00:59:43,448
Hey Helen.

1347
00:59:51,797 --> 00:59:53,413
- Harold.
- Hey.

1348
00:59:53,715 --> 00:59:54,626
Helen, right?

1349
00:59:54,925 --> 00:59:55,836
Yeah.

1350
00:59:56,134 --> 00:59:57,215
Who's your friend?

1351
00:59:57,511 --> 00:59:59,093
Oh, that's my personal shopper.

1352
00:59:59,387 --> 01:00:01,674
Unfortunately, she only
knows how to buy booze.

1353
01:00:04,059 --> 01:00:05,971
I think I'll bum one of her cigarettes.

1354
01:00:06,269 --> 01:00:08,352
You think she'll miss it?

1355
01:00:08,647 --> 01:00:10,639
- At this point, I don't
think she'd miss a limb.

1356
01:00:10,941 --> 01:00:13,979
Light me.

1357
01:00:20,534 --> 01:00:21,274
Thanks.

1358
01:00:22,536 --> 01:00:23,617
So how's work?

1359
01:00:25,372 --> 01:00:28,115
Bank stuff, nothing exciting.

1360
01:00:28,416 --> 01:00:29,372
Nothing exciting?

1361
01:00:29,668 --> 01:00:30,875
I wouldn't say that.

1362
01:00:31,169 --> 01:00:32,580
I've always loved numbers and math,

1363
01:00:32,879 --> 01:00:35,121
ever since I was a little girl.

1364
01:00:35,423 --> 01:00:37,255
I find it fascinating.

1365
01:00:37,551 --> 01:00:39,713
And you get to deal with
all that money all day.

1366
01:00:40,011 --> 01:00:42,378
Mm, just thinkin' about it makes me hot.

1367
01:00:51,064 --> 01:00:53,147
Oh, you're making a noise.

1368
01:00:54,234 --> 01:00:55,645
That's my penis.

1369
01:00:57,362 --> 01:00:58,102
It hums.

1370
01:00:59,698 --> 01:01:02,281
Guess it doesn't know the words.

1371
01:01:02,576 --> 01:01:04,283
I could teach it a few.

1372
01:01:25,432 --> 01:01:26,673
What's the matter?

1373
01:01:26,975 --> 01:01:27,590
Nothing.

1374
01:01:58,965 --> 01:02:00,376
God damn it, come on.

1375
01:02:02,427 --> 01:02:03,042
Damn it.

1376
01:02:16,608 --> 01:02:18,725
I'm sorry Helen, I can't do this.

1377
01:02:19,027 --> 01:02:22,646
- I can do whatever you
need, what do you need?

1378
01:02:22,948 --> 01:02:24,234
I need to go home.

1379
01:02:24,532 --> 01:02:25,568
To your wife?

1380
01:02:26,576 --> 01:02:28,533
Don't tell me you feel guilty.

1381
01:02:28,828 --> 01:02:29,443
Guilty?

1382
01:03:36,813 --> 01:03:39,726
Congratulations dad, we're pregnant!

1383
01:03:42,694 --> 01:03:44,435
I don't believe it, I did it!

1384
01:03:44,738 --> 01:03:45,444
I helped.

1385
01:03:46,406 --> 01:03:48,113
Now you can't leave me.

1386
01:03:53,163 --> 01:03:54,620
- Morning Melanie.
- Mornin'.

1387
01:03:54,914 --> 01:03:56,030
Jessie, how are the kids?

1388
01:03:56,333 --> 01:03:56,868
Great.

1389
01:03:57,167 --> 01:03:57,998
Dave, don't say it.

1390
01:03:58,293 --> 01:03:59,659
Have a cigar, I can tell
from the look on your face

1391
01:03:59,961 --> 01:04:01,577
you got some last night.

1392
01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:02,495
Good man.

1393
01:04:17,395 --> 01:04:18,636
Morning Harold.

1394
01:04:18,938 --> 01:04:20,850
I heard the good news, congratulations.

1395
01:04:21,149 --> 01:04:22,139
Thank you.

1396
01:04:22,442 --> 01:04:24,354
By the way, I've been
thinking a bit more seriously

1397
01:04:24,652 --> 01:04:25,392
about that promotion.

1398
01:04:25,695 --> 01:04:26,936
I hope you haven't made up your mind yet.

1399
01:04:27,238 --> 01:04:28,695
- Ah, well it's close
between you and Perry.

1400
01:04:28,990 --> 01:04:30,276
His third quarter report was a knockout,

1401
01:04:30,575 --> 01:04:31,486
but we'll see what happens.

1402
01:04:31,785 --> 01:04:32,616
Speaking of Perry, you seen him?

1403
01:04:32,911 --> 01:04:34,152
He's in the vault, he's lookin' for ya.

1404
01:04:34,454 --> 01:04:37,322
- Thank you Harold.
- You're welcome.

1405
01:04:40,710 --> 01:04:42,167
- So, you
see the balance of power

1406
01:04:42,462 --> 01:04:43,953
changing eventually in the Middle East?

1407
01:04:44,255 --> 01:04:45,791
- Well
it has to, eventually,

1408
01:04:46,091 --> 01:04:47,502
because a high percentage of Israelis

1409
01:04:47,801 --> 01:04:49,793
practice birth control,
whereas a high percentage

1410
01:04:50,095 --> 01:04:52,257
of people in the Arab nation do not.

1411
01:04:52,555 --> 01:04:53,636
- You know,
I've heard this theory

1412
01:04:53,932 --> 01:04:55,093
but it sounds a little bit crazy,

1413
01:04:55,392 --> 01:04:56,007
maybe even a little paranoid.

1414
01:04:56,309 --> 01:04:57,550
- Now,
your interpretation of it

1415
01:04:57,852 --> 01:04:59,559
might be paranoid, but the fact is

1416
01:04:59,854 --> 01:05:01,846
that the Arabs are having more children,

1417
01:05:02,148 --> 01:05:03,605
and in a matter of a couple of generations

1418
01:05:03,900 --> 01:05:06,358
they'll be able to control
the voting in Israel,

1419
01:05:06,653 --> 01:05:07,313
hence take over.

1420
01:05:07,612 --> 01:05:08,477
So what are you saying?

1421
01:05:08,780 --> 01:05:10,112
That they're getting control form within?

1422
01:05:10,407 --> 01:05:12,069
That's the idea.

1423
01:05:12,367 --> 01:05:13,733
- Well, what
about your feelings on...

1424
01:05:17,831 --> 01:05:18,696
I think I've got it.

1425
01:05:18,998 --> 01:05:20,330
I think I know why he's here.

1426
01:05:20,625 --> 01:05:22,287
What are you doing?

1427
01:05:22,585 --> 01:05:23,450
I'm leaving.

1428
01:05:23,753 --> 01:05:24,709
You're leaving?

1429
01:05:25,004 --> 01:05:26,336
I found this in your bottom drawer

1430
01:05:26,631 --> 01:05:28,418
under your winter pants.

1431
01:05:29,384 --> 01:05:30,795
That's not for your eyes, Nadine.

1432
01:05:31,094 --> 01:05:32,005
Can you tell me why you have a picture

1433
01:05:32,303 --> 01:05:35,011
of a naked man touching
himself in the drawer

1434
01:05:35,306 --> 01:05:36,513
under your winter pants?

1435
01:05:36,808 --> 01:05:38,970
It's not a man, that's the alien.

1436
01:05:39,269 --> 01:05:40,680
Oh, oh, the alien.

1437
01:05:40,979 --> 01:05:42,060
Alien slash banker.

1438
01:05:42,355 --> 01:05:43,846
- I don't know what I'll do
if you tell me you're gay,

1439
01:05:44,149 --> 01:05:45,481
so please don't tell me that.

1440
01:05:45,775 --> 01:05:46,640
I'm not gay.

1441
01:05:46,943 --> 01:05:47,979
I'm tracking an alien.

1442
01:05:48,278 --> 01:05:49,189
He's here to have sex with our women.

1443
01:05:49,487 --> 01:05:50,568
You can't tell it from the picture,

1444
01:05:50,864 --> 01:05:51,695
but his penis hums.

1445
01:05:51,990 --> 01:05:53,606
It makes a noise like
that water heater we had

1446
01:05:53,908 --> 01:05:55,024
in that timeshare at Deer Valley.

1447
01:05:55,326 --> 01:05:56,988
I'm not making this up, Nadine.

1448
01:05:57,287 --> 01:05:58,994
I'm going to prove everything.

1449
01:05:59,289 --> 01:06:02,157
Oh my god, you've done it again, Roland.

1450
01:06:02,459 --> 01:06:04,371
It's always like this with you, isn't it?

1451
01:06:04,669 --> 01:06:06,661
You get obsessed with things,

1452
01:06:06,963 --> 01:06:08,875
anything to avoid intimacy.

1453
01:06:09,174 --> 01:06:11,040
You lost your first wife
'cause you got hooked on golf,

1454
01:06:11,342 --> 01:06:12,583
your second wife because of other women.

1455
01:06:12,886 --> 01:06:13,842
Hey, you were one of 'em.

1456
01:06:14,137 --> 01:06:15,127
Golf I can understand.

1457
01:06:15,430 --> 01:06:16,591
Other women I can understand.

1458
01:06:16,890 --> 01:06:17,425
But this?

1459
01:06:17,724 --> 01:06:18,965
Aliens having sex with people?

1460
01:06:19,267 --> 01:06:21,805
How does that make me feel?

1461
01:06:22,103 --> 01:06:23,389
Please, please, please just tell me

1462
01:06:23,688 --> 01:06:24,644
that you're having an affair

1463
01:06:24,939 --> 01:06:26,851
with a beautiful female
stripper instead of a man

1464
01:06:27,150 --> 01:06:28,311
so that I can at least look at myself

1465
01:06:28,610 --> 01:06:29,771
in the mirror in the morning.

1466
01:06:30,069 --> 01:06:31,856
Baby, I swear I'm not.

1467
01:06:38,328 --> 01:06:41,571
This is not what I want my life to be.

1468
01:06:43,333 --> 01:06:46,167
I think Helen's having an affair.

1469
01:06:48,004 --> 01:06:49,245
What makes you think that?

1470
01:06:49,547 --> 01:06:52,210
- I found a belt in my
bedroom that wasn't mine.

1471
01:06:52,509 --> 01:06:53,249
You sure it's not yours?

1472
01:06:53,551 --> 01:06:55,213
Positive, it was Armani.

1473
01:06:55,512 --> 01:06:58,676
I don't wear Armani,
only queers wear Armani.

1474
01:06:58,973 --> 01:07:00,180
I think he did her in the shower.

1475
01:07:00,475 --> 01:07:01,431
The curtain was all ripped to shit.

1476
01:07:01,726 --> 01:07:02,261
Maybe she slipped.

1477
01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:03,266
Everything's weird.

1478
01:07:03,561 --> 01:07:04,802
Fisk walked into the vault yesterday.

1479
01:07:05,104 --> 01:07:07,721
Two seconds earlier he
woulda caught me and Rita.

1480
01:07:08,024 --> 01:07:08,639
Wow.

1481
01:07:10,777 --> 01:07:13,736
- Did you tell Fisk I was
in the vault with Rita?

1482
01:07:14,030 --> 01:07:15,066
You fuckin' my wife?

1483
01:07:15,365 --> 01:07:16,856
No, and no.

1484
01:07:17,158 --> 01:07:17,739
You sure?

1485
01:07:18,034 --> 01:07:19,366
Why would I do that?

1486
01:07:19,661 --> 01:07:20,742
To get even with you for giving Fisk

1487
01:07:21,037 --> 01:07:22,198
my third quarter report?

1488
01:07:22,497 --> 01:07:24,830
Whoa, whoa, where does that come from?

1489
01:07:25,124 --> 01:07:27,241
What did I do to deserve that, Harold,

1490
01:07:27,544 --> 01:07:29,331
other than just extend
the hand of friendship

1491
01:07:29,629 --> 01:07:30,665
and helping you in general?

1492
01:07:30,964 --> 01:07:32,250
After everything I've done for you?

1493
01:07:32,549 --> 01:07:34,415
What have you done for me?

1494
01:07:34,717 --> 01:07:37,380
- What have I done, what
have I done for you?

1495
01:07:37,679 --> 01:07:38,544
That hurts worse.

1496
01:07:38,846 --> 01:07:40,337
Did I not take you to the
place where you met your wife?

1497
01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:42,757
Did I not do that for you?

1498
01:07:43,059 --> 01:07:44,721
- Sorry.
- It's okay.

1499
01:07:45,019 --> 01:07:45,634
Sorry.

1500
01:07:46,688 --> 01:07:48,304
Geez, just try to relax.

1501
01:07:48,606 --> 01:07:50,723
You are wound as tight as a drum.

1502
01:07:51,025 --> 01:07:52,891
Do us both a favor, okay?

1503
01:07:54,946 --> 01:07:56,437
I'll be in the vault for about 30 minutes.

1504
01:07:56,739 --> 01:07:57,729
If you see Fisk, cover for me.

1505
01:07:58,032 --> 01:07:58,647
Sure.

1506
01:08:00,201 --> 01:08:01,487
Asshole.

1507
01:08:01,786 --> 01:08:02,651
Not you, sir.

1508
01:08:04,956 --> 01:08:07,494
- They try
the reverse to Specca.

1509
01:08:07,792 --> 01:08:09,328
Has some running room.

1510
01:08:09,627 --> 01:08:11,710
Cuts it back inside, but
the pursuit will catch up.

1511
01:08:12,005 --> 01:08:13,496
That's Tim Schaefer,
the right cornerback,

1512
01:08:13,798 --> 01:08:15,005
coming over to chase him out of bounds.

1513
01:08:15,300 --> 01:08:17,257
On the wet field, it just takes too long

1514
01:08:17,552 --> 01:08:19,669
for a reverse to really have it.

1515
01:08:19,971 --> 01:08:21,052
I expect he gets the ball.

1516
01:08:21,347 --> 01:08:23,384
You can see that quarterback number 14,

1517
01:08:23,683 --> 01:08:26,471
Jason Behr with a block
that just takes too long,

1518
01:08:26,769 --> 01:08:27,976
and Tim Schaefer...

1519
01:08:28,271 --> 01:08:28,886
Hi.

1520
01:08:31,190 --> 01:08:32,431
Hi dad.

1521
01:08:32,734 --> 01:08:33,349
Hi.

1522
01:08:34,569 --> 01:08:36,652
- Come on, you wanna go in the
other room and fool around?

1523
01:08:36,946 --> 01:08:37,811
Fourth quarter.

1524
01:08:38,114 --> 01:08:39,605
Is there something wrong?

1525
01:08:39,907 --> 01:08:40,863
No.

1526
01:08:41,159 --> 01:08:41,774
Why?

1527
01:08:43,036 --> 01:08:45,153
I hope I'm not gonna say this.

1528
01:08:45,455 --> 01:08:46,070
I am.

1529
01:08:47,582 --> 01:08:50,416
It seems like you're more
distant since I got pregnant,

1530
01:08:50,710 --> 01:08:52,042
or is it just my hormones?

1531
01:08:52,337 --> 01:08:53,293
I think it's just your hormones.

1532
01:08:53,588 --> 01:08:54,829
I don't think so.

1533
01:08:55,131 --> 01:08:55,871
I don't know what you're talkin' about.

1534
01:08:56,174 --> 01:08:59,167
- You're distant, you
haven't touched me in weeks.

1535
01:08:59,469 --> 01:09:00,459
Oh, oh are you gonna turn that off?

1536
01:09:00,762 --> 01:09:01,969
No, I'm just gonna turn the sound up.

1537
01:09:02,263 --> 01:09:03,424
Oh okay, let me.

1538
01:09:06,809 --> 01:09:08,095
Okay, maybe I haven't touched you

1539
01:09:08,394 --> 01:09:09,760
as much as I used to, but that's no reason

1540
01:09:10,063 --> 01:09:11,599
to destroy the remote.

1541
01:09:11,898 --> 01:09:13,355
I mean, come on now.

1542
01:09:21,115 --> 01:09:22,902
Where are you going?

1543
01:09:23,201 --> 01:09:24,282
I'm going to buy a new remote,

1544
01:09:24,577 --> 01:09:26,409
otherwise we're gonna have
to keep getting up and down.

1545
01:09:26,704 --> 01:09:29,947
- Excuse me, we have plans,
or have you forgotten?

1546
01:09:30,249 --> 01:09:31,035
We have plans?

1547
01:09:31,334 --> 01:09:33,451
- Yes, I was thinking
about going and looking

1548
01:09:33,753 --> 01:09:34,994
at cribs for the baby.

1549
01:09:35,296 --> 01:09:36,127
You didn't tell me that.

1550
01:09:36,422 --> 01:09:37,879
Well I'm telling you now.

1551
01:09:38,174 --> 01:09:39,039
You know what?

1552
01:09:39,342 --> 01:09:40,298
Don't let me hold you up.

1553
01:09:40,593 --> 01:09:42,425
You just go and get your precious remote.

1554
01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:44,086
We won't worry about the crib.

1555
01:09:44,389 --> 01:09:45,880
The baby can sleep in a dresser drawer

1556
01:09:46,182 --> 01:09:47,764
for the first year of its life.

1557
01:09:48,059 --> 01:09:48,674
Just go.

1558
01:09:50,895 --> 01:09:51,806
What are you doing?

1559
01:09:52,105 --> 01:09:53,061
You said go.

1560
01:09:54,065 --> 01:09:54,805
Bye.

1561
01:09:58,194 --> 01:09:59,651
It's called a universal remote.

1562
01:09:59,946 --> 01:10:01,528
It comes with codes for
every make and model

1563
01:10:01,823 --> 01:10:03,359
of television and VCR, and all you do

1564
01:10:03,658 --> 01:10:05,695
is punch in the code for your equipment

1565
01:10:05,993 --> 01:10:06,983
and you're in business.

1566
01:10:07,286 --> 01:10:08,948
Yes, modern technology.

1567
01:10:09,247 --> 01:10:10,112
You said it.

1568
01:10:10,415 --> 01:10:11,872
What do you think of Aaron?

1569
01:10:12,166 --> 01:10:13,077
Who's Aaron?

1570
01:10:13,376 --> 01:10:14,867
No, for the baby if it's a boy.

1571
01:10:17,672 --> 01:10:19,413
You said you were six weeks pregnant?

1572
01:10:19,716 --> 01:10:20,331
Yeah.

1573
01:10:22,301 --> 01:10:23,963
Is something wrong?

1574
01:10:28,182 --> 01:10:29,718
Who are you calling?

1575
01:10:30,977 --> 01:10:34,470
Tom, could you come in here a second?

1576
01:10:34,772 --> 01:10:36,263
Oh, I'm sure it's nothing
to be alarmed about.

1577
01:10:36,566 --> 01:10:39,855
Have you been having any
pain or any other symptoms

1578
01:10:40,153 --> 01:10:41,189
that are out of the ordinary?

1579
01:10:41,487 --> 01:10:42,978
No, no I haven't had a single problem.

1580
01:10:43,281 --> 01:10:46,695
I haven't even had morning sickness.

1581
01:10:46,993 --> 01:10:48,325
Oh Tom,

1582
01:10:48,619 --> 01:10:49,484
look at this.

1583
01:10:53,666 --> 01:10:54,702
Looks like a perfectly formed

1584
01:10:55,001 --> 01:10:56,367
four or five month old fetus.

1585
01:10:56,669 --> 01:10:58,706
Yeah, she's at six weeks.

1586
01:11:01,924 --> 01:11:02,880
I'm scared.

1587
01:11:03,176 --> 01:11:04,132
There's nothing to worry about.

1588
01:11:04,427 --> 01:11:06,043
He said it was healthy, that's
the important thing, right?

1589
01:11:06,345 --> 01:11:07,802
Did you see Rosemary's Baby?

1590
01:11:08,097 --> 01:11:08,678
Rosemary who?

1591
01:11:08,973 --> 01:11:09,929
No, no, it's...

1592
01:11:10,224 --> 01:11:11,010
You need to rest.

1593
01:11:11,309 --> 01:11:12,595
Just sit down and don't think about it.

1594
01:11:12,894 --> 01:11:13,429
Oh thanks.

1595
01:11:13,728 --> 01:11:14,593
No problem.

1596
01:11:16,189 --> 01:11:17,771
Easy, easy.
- Thanks.

1597
01:11:18,065 --> 01:11:19,601
There you go, okay.

1598
01:11:22,403 --> 01:11:23,143
Don't.

1599
01:11:28,201 --> 01:11:32,241
- Thank you all so much,
thank you, thank you Hank.

1600
01:11:32,538 --> 01:11:33,403
Hey Anderson!

1601
01:11:34,624 --> 01:11:36,456
You're a little late, it's 11 o'clock.

1602
01:11:36,751 --> 01:11:38,242
I'll let it slide, seeing
as it's my first day

1603
01:11:38,544 --> 01:11:39,751
as vice president.

1604
01:11:41,714 --> 01:11:42,795
You got the promotion?

1605
01:11:43,090 --> 01:11:43,671
And you didn't.

1606
01:11:43,966 --> 01:11:46,925
Well, there is always five years from now.

1607
01:11:47,220 --> 01:11:47,835
Champagne?

1608
01:11:51,140 --> 01:11:53,553
Harold, don't take it so hard.

1609
01:12:04,695 --> 01:12:05,606
Do I smell tears?

1610
01:12:05,905 --> 01:12:07,692
What is your fucking problem?

1611
01:12:07,990 --> 01:12:09,652
You stole my third quarter report.

1612
01:12:09,951 --> 01:12:11,317
And, you've been having sex

1613
01:12:11,619 --> 01:12:13,201
with a coworker during office hours,

1614
01:12:13,496 --> 01:12:15,032
and you got the promotion
which can only mean

1615
01:12:15,331 --> 01:12:16,993
you've also been blowing the boss.

1616
01:12:17,291 --> 01:12:17,826
You know what?

1617
01:12:18,125 --> 01:12:19,787
I've met some pathetic
human beings in my life,

1618
01:12:20,086 --> 01:12:21,372
but you take the cake.

1619
01:12:21,671 --> 01:12:22,582
Oh, like you're so much better.

1620
01:12:22,880 --> 01:12:23,745
You don't think I knew it was you

1621
01:12:24,048 --> 01:12:25,414
who sent Fisk to the vault that time?

1622
01:12:25,716 --> 01:12:26,832
And the Armani belt?

1623
01:12:27,134 --> 01:12:28,090
It was yours, you prick!

1624
01:12:28,386 --> 01:12:29,217
Maybe you wouldn't have to go around

1625
01:12:29,512 --> 01:12:30,343
banging other people's wives

1626
01:12:30,638 --> 01:12:32,721
if your old lady wasn't a drunk.

1627
01:12:39,647 --> 01:12:40,558
You're crazy!

1628
01:12:40,857 --> 01:12:41,597
I don't even remember hitting him.

1629
01:12:41,899 --> 01:12:43,606
All I know is he was
talking and I was filled

1630
01:12:43,901 --> 01:12:45,437
with this feeling of, I don't know what,

1631
01:12:45,736 --> 01:12:48,524
because he got the promotion
and because he stole my work

1632
01:12:48,823 --> 01:12:51,065
and now he's gonna make more money than me

1633
01:12:51,367 --> 01:12:55,452
and we have a baby on
the way, and I hit him.

1634
01:12:55,746 --> 01:12:56,907
I don't know who I am anymore.

1635
01:12:57,206 --> 01:12:58,196
You're being too hard on yourself.

1636
01:12:58,499 --> 01:13:00,411
You're just human, that's all.

1637
01:13:00,710 --> 01:13:02,872
Oh shit, I'm bleeding.

1638
01:13:03,170 --> 01:13:05,537
No you're not, you're crying.

1639
01:13:24,233 --> 01:13:26,099
I love the way you look at the stars.

1640
01:13:26,402 --> 01:13:28,519
Oh I was just, you know, looking.

1641
01:13:28,821 --> 01:13:29,902
No, there's something different.

1642
01:13:30,197 --> 01:13:31,438
Most people when they look at the stars

1643
01:13:31,741 --> 01:13:33,027
they look all over.

1644
01:13:33,326 --> 01:13:35,784
You're always very focused,
like you're looking

1645
01:13:36,078 --> 01:13:38,115
at the same one every time.

1646
01:13:39,248 --> 01:13:42,787
I feel so much better when I'm with you.

1647
01:13:43,085 --> 01:13:45,452
- That's the nicest thing
you've ever said to me.

1648
01:13:45,755 --> 01:13:49,044
- I didn't say it to be
nice, it's just, a fact.

1649
01:13:49,342 --> 01:13:51,550
That's even nicer, I guess.

1650
01:13:53,638 --> 01:13:56,426
- I'm sorry about that
whole thing with the remote.

1651
01:13:56,724 --> 01:13:57,680
That's okay.

1652
01:14:12,823 --> 01:14:15,236
Are you gonna make love to me?

1653
01:14:15,534 --> 01:14:16,570
I believe so.

1654
01:14:17,620 --> 01:14:19,282
I'm pregnant.

1655
01:14:19,580 --> 01:14:20,195
I know.

1656
01:14:40,184 --> 01:14:41,391
I don't know what the problem is.

1657
01:14:41,686 --> 01:14:43,393
- The problem is, you have
a problem listening to me.

1658
01:14:43,688 --> 01:14:44,394
What are you talking about?

1659
01:14:44,689 --> 01:14:46,100
Stop being so stubborn, okay?

1660
01:14:46,399 --> 01:14:46,934
I'm being stubborn?

1661
01:14:50,403 --> 01:14:51,018
Hi.

1662
01:14:56,742 --> 01:14:57,858
Harold, why are you here?

1663
01:14:58,160 --> 01:14:58,991
I think we should buy this house.

1664
01:14:59,286 --> 01:15:00,697
- What?
- That's right, why not?

1665
01:15:00,997 --> 01:15:02,488
Come on, it's a beautiful house.

1666
01:15:02,790 --> 01:15:03,325
And you know what?

1667
01:15:03,624 --> 01:15:04,205
This is perfect for the baby.

1668
01:15:04,500 --> 01:15:05,490
Harold, you can't be serious.

1669
01:15:05,793 --> 01:15:07,375
I am, I'm dead serious.

1670
01:15:07,670 --> 01:15:08,285
Harold!

1671
01:15:09,463 --> 01:15:11,045
- Come on, you won't
be needing this anymore.

1672
01:15:11,340 --> 01:15:12,547
I don't believe this!

1673
01:15:12,842 --> 01:15:14,674
Let's take a look.

1674
01:15:14,969 --> 01:15:16,676
It's gonna be so great.

1675
01:15:17,972 --> 01:15:19,304
Look, this is our cactus.

1676
01:15:19,598 --> 01:15:20,964
I couldn't even imagine it.

1677
01:15:21,267 --> 01:15:22,474
I don't either.

1678
01:15:23,436 --> 01:15:25,974
- Universal domination,
taking over from the inside

1679
01:15:26,272 --> 01:15:27,979
through deception and fraud.

1680
01:15:28,274 --> 01:15:29,185
I know it sounds improbable,

1681
01:15:29,483 --> 01:15:33,568
but I believe in what I'm saying 110%.

1682
01:15:33,863 --> 01:15:36,321
So, this person is here to have sex?

1683
01:15:36,615 --> 01:15:37,196
Correct.

1684
01:15:37,491 --> 01:15:40,609
Did they run out of pussy on his planet?

1685
01:15:40,911 --> 01:15:41,992
I know it sounds insane,

1686
01:15:42,288 --> 01:15:44,655
but I have here the passenger
list of all three flights

1687
01:15:44,957 --> 01:15:47,165
that experienced the
same strange turbulence.

1688
01:15:47,460 --> 01:15:50,077
Harold Anderson was on all
these flights, gentlemen.

1689
01:15:50,379 --> 01:15:52,166
Explain that, and you will
never hear another word

1690
01:15:52,465 --> 01:15:54,502
from me about this subject.

1691
01:15:56,010 --> 01:15:57,421
Oh, it's too small.

1692
01:15:57,720 --> 01:16:00,133
Try raising your hands over your head.

1693
01:16:01,724 --> 01:16:02,760
- Well, how often do you
have to raise your hands

1694
01:16:03,059 --> 01:16:03,594
higher than this?

1695
01:16:03,893 --> 01:16:04,804
Honey, it's perfect.

1696
01:16:05,102 --> 01:16:07,139
No, I'll exchange it.

1697
01:16:07,438 --> 01:16:10,055
Your turn, I got you a present.

1698
01:16:10,357 --> 01:16:10,972
Open it.

1699
01:16:14,028 --> 01:16:14,814
All right.

1700
01:16:20,451 --> 01:16:21,191
Oh!

1701
01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:25,161
It's the crib!

1702
01:16:27,208 --> 01:16:29,200
This is the one I wanted.

1703
01:16:30,961 --> 01:16:32,122
This one's for the baby, but maybe

1704
01:16:32,421 --> 01:16:34,629
you can both squeeze into it.

1705
01:16:36,258 --> 01:16:36,998
Oh god.

1706
01:16:37,968 --> 01:16:39,129
What's wrong?

1707
01:16:40,554 --> 01:16:42,420
I feel like I'm being ripped apart!

1708
01:16:42,723 --> 01:16:43,713
It's okay, just hang on.

1709
01:16:44,016 --> 01:16:44,972
You're driving too fast.

1710
01:16:45,267 --> 01:16:46,007
I thought you wanted me to hurry.

1711
01:16:46,310 --> 01:16:47,926
I do, but slow down.

1712
01:17:11,669 --> 01:17:12,204
Oh god!

1713
01:17:12,503 --> 01:17:13,789
Is this amount of pain normal?

1714
01:17:14,088 --> 01:17:14,623
Yes.

1715
01:17:14,922 --> 01:17:15,457
Did you hear that?

1716
01:17:15,756 --> 01:17:17,213
This amount of pain's
normal, that's a good sign.

1717
01:17:17,508 --> 01:17:18,840
Shut up, asshole.

1718
01:17:19,135 --> 01:17:20,000
She's fine.

1719
01:17:25,307 --> 01:17:26,093
They're not home.

1720
01:17:26,392 --> 01:17:27,098
The Andersons?

1721
01:17:27,393 --> 01:17:29,851
- They're at the hospital
having their baby.

1722
01:17:30,146 --> 01:17:31,387
I love babies.

1723
01:17:31,689 --> 01:17:33,021
Shit, which hospital?

1724
01:17:33,315 --> 01:17:36,479
Oh, she told me a couple of weeks ago.

1725
01:17:36,777 --> 01:17:38,018
It's a woman's name.

1726
01:17:38,320 --> 01:17:38,935
Think.

1727
01:17:40,948 --> 01:17:42,234
Saint Agnes.

1728
01:17:42,533 --> 01:17:44,320
No wait, that's my name.

1729
01:17:46,370 --> 01:17:48,202
It was, Saint Agatha's.

1730
01:17:52,459 --> 01:17:54,416
Give us another push, Susan.

1731
01:17:56,881 --> 01:17:58,497
Why are there so many people here?

1732
01:17:58,799 --> 01:18:00,711
- Considering the unusual
nature of your pregnancy,

1733
01:18:01,010 --> 01:18:02,922
I thought we should have
some specialists on hand

1734
01:18:03,220 --> 01:18:03,926
just in case.

1735
01:18:04,221 --> 01:18:05,837
Is that supposed to make me feel better?

1736
01:18:06,140 --> 01:18:07,051
Her blood pressure's dropping.

1737
01:18:07,349 --> 01:18:09,181
- We're gonna
have to do a c-section.

1738
01:18:09,476 --> 01:18:10,091
God help me.

1739
01:18:10,394 --> 01:18:12,761
Hold it, hold it, I see the head.

1740
01:18:13,063 --> 01:18:15,180
Keep pushing Susan, give me some pushes.

1741
01:18:15,482 --> 01:18:19,021
Please, please.

1742
01:18:22,198 --> 01:18:23,405
What's happening?

1743
01:18:23,699 --> 01:18:24,439
Just give me a second.

1744
01:18:24,742 --> 01:18:26,699
All right, suction here please.

1745
01:18:26,994 --> 01:18:29,077
Oh god, I can't hear my baby.

1746
01:18:29,371 --> 01:18:32,079
I, I can't see anything.

1747
01:18:34,084 --> 01:18:37,998
This is the strangest, most incredible.

1748
01:18:38,297 --> 01:18:39,913
Mr. and Mrs. Anderson,

1749
01:18:42,343 --> 01:18:45,927
say hello to your completely
healthy new baby boy.

1750
01:18:52,394 --> 01:18:54,977
Better not tell anyone about
this three month pregnancy.

1751
01:18:55,272 --> 01:18:57,559
Everyone's gonna want one.

1752
01:18:57,858 --> 01:18:59,315
You okay?

1753
01:18:59,610 --> 01:19:01,818
Look at him we, we made this.

1754
01:19:02,112 --> 01:19:02,818
This is us.

1755
01:19:05,866 --> 01:19:07,198
It's a miracle.

1756
01:19:18,462 --> 01:19:20,875
I can't wait to see him again.

1757
01:19:23,092 --> 01:19:26,711
You were so cute in the delivery room.

1758
01:19:27,012 --> 01:19:28,298
I'll always remember your face

1759
01:19:28,597 --> 01:19:30,930
when they handed him to you.

1760
01:19:31,225 --> 01:19:33,592
I want you to remember that.

1761
01:19:33,894 --> 01:19:34,930
What's wrong?

1762
01:19:36,647 --> 01:19:38,138
Harold, what is it?

1763
01:19:39,191 --> 01:19:41,057
I have to leave.

1764
01:19:41,360 --> 01:19:43,352
Leave the hospital?

1765
01:19:43,654 --> 01:19:44,269
Yeah.

1766
01:19:45,239 --> 01:19:47,151
When will you be back?

1767
01:19:49,535 --> 01:19:51,276
I'm not coming back.

1768
01:19:52,788 --> 01:19:53,528
What?

1769
01:19:54,581 --> 01:19:56,994
I don't wanna go, I have to.

1770
01:19:59,253 --> 01:20:01,245
You're not coming back?

1771
01:20:04,717 --> 01:20:05,924
No.

1772
01:20:06,218 --> 01:20:10,553
Maybe I should've just
left, this seems worse.

1773
01:20:16,729 --> 01:20:17,389
Can I help you?

1774
01:20:17,688 --> 01:20:18,519
Looking for Harold Anderson,

1775
01:20:18,814 --> 01:20:20,305
his wife is having a baby.

1776
01:20:20,607 --> 01:20:21,723
- Anderson, they are
in the maternity wing,

1777
01:20:22,026 --> 01:20:24,359
I believe in the delivery room.

1778
01:20:24,653 --> 01:20:27,066
You can't go in there, sir.

1779
01:20:27,364 --> 01:20:29,447
Sir, you are not allowed in there!

1780
01:20:29,742 --> 01:20:32,450
Get out, get the hell away from me.

1781
01:20:32,745 --> 01:20:34,611
I don't believe it, I don't believe it,

1782
01:20:34,913 --> 01:20:37,121
I did it again, I did it again.

1783
01:20:37,416 --> 01:20:39,032
I know you're angry.

1784
01:20:39,335 --> 01:20:40,576
You coward.

1785
01:20:40,878 --> 01:20:43,120
Two minutes with your child
and you're scared shitless.

1786
01:20:43,422 --> 01:20:45,914
Get him out, get him out of here.

1787
01:20:46,216 --> 01:20:47,548
Get out!

1788
01:20:47,843 --> 01:20:48,378
Bye.

1789
01:20:48,677 --> 01:20:49,963
Get out!

1790
01:20:59,396 --> 01:21:01,262
Harold Anderson, I need to talk to him.

1791
01:21:01,565 --> 01:21:02,601
Is he in the military?

1792
01:21:02,900 --> 01:21:03,765
Where is he?

1793
01:21:04,068 --> 01:21:04,774
His wife's here, but he's gone.

1794
01:21:05,069 --> 01:21:05,604
Can I talk to her?

1795
01:21:05,903 --> 01:21:06,814
This isn't a good time.

1796
01:21:07,112 --> 01:21:08,023
If you find the bastard, give him a swift

1797
01:21:08,322 --> 01:21:09,403
kick in the pants for me.

1798
01:21:09,698 --> 01:21:11,781
10 minutes after the baby's
born, he leaves his wife.

1799
01:21:12,076 --> 01:21:13,362
What kind of a sick person is that?

1800
01:21:13,660 --> 01:21:14,400
He's going back.

1801
01:21:14,703 --> 01:21:15,739
I know where he is, come on.

1802
01:21:18,749 --> 01:21:20,115
Excuse me there, chief.

1803
01:21:20,417 --> 01:21:21,828
Hi, Merry Christmas, I'm
lookin' for a passenger

1804
01:21:22,127 --> 01:21:25,620
on one of your flights, Harold
Anderson, usual spelling.

1805
01:21:28,300 --> 01:21:30,758
We're just about to push away.

1806
01:21:37,893 --> 01:21:39,384
Hi, how ya doin'?

1807
01:22:06,130 --> 01:22:07,996
So they gave her a c-section.

1808
01:22:08,298 --> 01:22:09,914
Doctor Weitzman, we've got a problem.

1809
01:22:10,217 --> 01:22:10,877
What is it?

1810
01:22:11,176 --> 01:22:12,587
It's about the Anderson baby.

1811
01:22:14,388 --> 01:22:15,424
The captain has turned off

1812
01:22:15,722 --> 01:22:16,758
the fasten seat belt sign.

1813
01:22:17,057 --> 01:22:19,049
But for your safety and the
safety of those around you,

1814
01:22:19,351 --> 01:22:21,217
we suggest that you remain seated

1815
01:22:21,520 --> 01:22:23,477
with your seat belt securely fastened.

1816
01:22:23,772 --> 01:22:26,230
Thank you and enjoy your flight to Reno.

1817
01:22:26,525 --> 01:22:27,185
Excuse me.

1818
01:22:27,484 --> 01:22:28,895
Excuse me, I need to get by.
- Oh sorry.

1819
01:22:29,194 --> 01:22:30,025
You know, why is it you always pack

1820
01:22:30,320 --> 01:22:31,276
exactly what you need
where you can't get at it?

1821
01:22:31,572 --> 01:22:33,063
And why do they make
these aisles so narrow?

1822
01:22:33,365 --> 01:22:33,900
What do I look like?

1823
01:22:34,199 --> 01:22:34,814
Fucking Andy Rooney?

1824
01:22:35,117 --> 01:22:36,733
Get outta the way!

1825
01:22:51,300 --> 01:22:53,041
Excuse me, watch your
back, watch your back.

1826
01:22:53,343 --> 01:22:54,333
Excuse me, comin' through,

1827
01:22:54,636 --> 01:22:58,596
watch your back, watch your back
please, 'scuse me, comin' through.

1828
01:23:16,658 --> 01:23:19,526
- No I'm okay, really,
I don't need anything.

1829
01:23:19,828 --> 01:23:22,491
Just a mild sedative, help keep you calm

1830
01:23:22,789 --> 01:23:24,325
while you recuperate.

1831
01:23:28,420 --> 01:23:30,457
I know you've had some bad news,

1832
01:23:30,756 --> 01:23:34,375
and believe me, I hate
to give you more but,

1833
01:23:34,676 --> 01:23:38,420
we believe that your
husband has taken the baby.

1834
01:23:40,516 --> 01:23:43,099
We've contacted the authorities.

1835
01:23:44,686 --> 01:23:45,802
I'm fired?

1836
01:23:46,104 --> 01:23:48,437
- No, uh, you're just
taking your sabbatical.

1837
01:23:48,732 --> 01:23:51,145
- And that will bring you
up to your retirement.

1838
01:23:51,443 --> 01:23:52,308
So I'm fired?

1839
01:23:52,611 --> 01:23:54,193
No, you're taking a sabbatical,

1840
01:23:54,488 --> 01:23:56,354
and then you're retiring.

1841
01:23:57,824 --> 01:23:59,611
I saw him walk into the lavatory.

1842
01:23:59,910 --> 01:24:01,867
When I opened the door, he was gone.

1843
01:24:02,162 --> 01:24:03,869
Yeah, do you hear what you're saying?

1844
01:24:04,164 --> 01:24:05,826
Is there any awareness
of what you're saying?

1845
01:24:06,124 --> 01:24:08,582
Just, why don't you just
enjoy your time off?

1846
01:24:08,877 --> 01:24:09,492
Rest.

1847
01:24:16,760 --> 01:24:18,092
Bastard.

1848
01:24:18,387 --> 01:24:19,002
Bastard!

1849
01:24:47,082 --> 01:24:50,371
- I have to go buy a remote
control for the television set.

1850
01:24:50,669 --> 01:24:52,035
Well don't let me stop you.

1851
01:24:52,337 --> 01:24:53,623
You go, have a wonderful time.

1852
01:24:53,922 --> 01:24:55,959
I wanted to go shopping for
clothes for the baby but,

1853
01:24:56,258 --> 01:24:57,123
we won't worry about that.

1854
01:24:57,426 --> 01:24:58,382
The baby can just go around naked

1855
01:24:58,677 --> 01:25:01,385
for the first year of its life, go.

1856
01:25:03,348 --> 01:25:04,088
Go.

1857
01:25:06,184 --> 01:25:06,924
So I go?

1858
01:25:07,227 --> 01:25:08,217
No, you don't go.

1859
01:25:09,646 --> 01:25:10,762
See, that's the interesting thing.

1860
01:25:11,064 --> 01:25:12,976
But she told me to go.

1861
01:25:13,275 --> 01:25:16,063
- Well, there's a whole
layer here you're missing.

1862
01:25:16,361 --> 01:25:17,772
Now you know what I had to deal with.

1863
01:25:18,071 --> 01:25:19,107
Take your seat.

1864
01:25:20,782 --> 01:25:23,399
And this isn't easy, so don't
beat yourself up over it.

1865
01:25:23,702 --> 01:25:25,489
What does that mean?

1866
01:25:25,787 --> 01:25:26,903
Just sit down.

1867
01:25:28,373 --> 01:25:29,113
I've...

1868
01:25:34,212 --> 01:25:37,421
Reprogrammed the computer
to more accurately

1869
01:25:37,716 --> 01:25:40,584
represent what you'll be
dealing with on Earth.

1870
01:25:40,886 --> 01:25:43,503
If you're looking for an
overriding logic or rationality,

1871
01:25:43,805 --> 01:25:47,549
just remember, this is
Earth we're dealing with.

1872
01:25:47,851 --> 01:25:49,558
I guess you don't like my friends.

1873
01:25:49,853 --> 01:25:50,593
I like your friends.

1874
01:25:50,896 --> 01:25:52,103
You barely acknowledged them.

1875
01:25:52,397 --> 01:25:53,638
What's wrong with you?

1876
01:25:53,940 --> 01:25:56,774
If you don't talk to me, how
will I know what's wrong?

1877
01:25:57,069 --> 01:25:58,105
You gotta open up, you gotta connect.

1878
01:26:02,157 --> 01:26:04,490
Ah, I guess you don't like my friends.

1879
01:26:04,785 --> 01:26:05,946
You barely acknowledge them.

1880
01:26:06,244 --> 01:26:07,451
What's wrong with you?

1881
01:26:07,746 --> 01:26:10,454
If you don't talk to me, how
will I know what's wrong?

1882
01:26:10,749 --> 01:26:14,368
I mean, you gotta con...

1883
01:26:14,670 --> 01:26:17,788
It goes on and on like that for hours.

1884
01:26:19,049 --> 01:26:22,713
Human relationships are
filled with conflict.

1885
01:26:24,304 --> 01:26:27,638
The whole planet is filled with conflict.

1886
01:26:28,600 --> 01:26:30,466
Not that that's a bad thing,
because it's through conflict

1887
01:26:30,769 --> 01:26:32,852
that we learn about ourselves.

1888
01:26:38,652 --> 01:26:39,392
Questions?

1889
01:26:42,781 --> 01:26:44,864
I see some confused faces.

1890
01:26:45,826 --> 01:26:49,911
You see, here on our planet we
have no emotion or conflict,

1891
01:26:51,123 --> 01:26:54,116
so we've never had to
look inward at ourselves,

1892
01:26:54,418 --> 01:26:57,161
and that's helped us
become a technological,

1893
01:26:57,462 --> 01:26:59,829
intellectual force in the Universe but,

1894
01:27:00,132 --> 01:27:01,714
I really think it's a dead end.

1895
01:27:02,008 --> 01:27:04,796
I mean, to be honest with ya, I question

1896
01:27:05,095 --> 01:27:07,803
why we're even taking over Earth.

1897
01:27:08,098 --> 01:27:09,088
I mean, why?

1898
01:27:09,391 --> 01:27:11,428
So we can make them like us?

1899
01:27:11,727 --> 01:27:12,968
When in fact, we can learn from them,

1900
01:27:13,270 --> 01:27:16,684
and they can remind us
of who we were before.

1901
01:27:16,982 --> 01:27:17,597
Excuse me.

1902
01:27:21,486 --> 01:27:23,819
Why does Graydon wanna see me?

1903
01:27:24,114 --> 01:27:25,321
You know, if you don't talk to me

1904
01:27:25,615 --> 01:27:27,481
I won't know what's wrong.

1905
01:27:38,462 --> 01:27:41,250
Hey, my baby, that's my baby.

1906
01:27:41,548 --> 01:27:43,505
Wait a minute, what's my baby doing here?

1907
01:27:43,800 --> 01:27:45,007
Stop!

1908
01:27:45,302 --> 01:27:46,759
Wait a minute, stop.

1909
01:27:50,348 --> 01:27:51,839
- I can't have you polluting
the minds of others.

1910
01:27:52,142 --> 01:27:52,973
What is my son doing here?

1911
01:27:53,268 --> 01:27:54,099
You're raising your voice.

1912
01:27:54,394 --> 01:27:55,054
You bet your ass I am.

1913
01:27:55,353 --> 01:27:57,185
You never told me you were
going to take the baby.

1914
01:27:57,481 --> 01:27:59,017
- Did you tell anyone the
truth about who you were

1915
01:27:59,316 --> 01:28:00,932
and why you were there?
- A woman in a bar.

1916
01:28:01,234 --> 01:28:02,475
We took care of her, anyone else?

1917
01:28:02,778 --> 01:28:04,861
Because anyone you told
will be disposed of.

1918
01:28:05,155 --> 01:28:06,316
Why are we taking over Earth?

1919
01:28:06,615 --> 01:28:07,446
How much more do we need?

1920
01:28:07,741 --> 01:28:09,277
Is that what it's about, more, more, more?

1921
01:28:09,576 --> 01:28:10,111
Yes.

1922
01:28:10,410 --> 01:28:13,118
I'm sending you to the
purification center.

1923
01:28:13,413 --> 01:28:13,948
Take him.

1924
01:28:14,247 --> 01:28:15,328
I don't want him to remember anything

1925
01:28:15,624 --> 01:28:18,742
about his time there, or about the baby.

1926
01:28:25,759 --> 01:28:27,341
Get out of my way.

1927
01:29:01,336 --> 01:29:02,702
Okay, get back.

1928
01:29:03,004 --> 01:29:04,211
Put your weapons down.

1929
01:29:04,506 --> 01:29:05,462
Okay guys, put your weapons down.

1930
01:29:05,757 --> 01:29:06,918
You're scaring the baby.

1931
01:29:12,931 --> 01:29:13,591
See?

1932
01:29:13,890 --> 01:29:15,256
See what you did?

1933
01:29:15,559 --> 01:29:17,050
I told you you were scaring the baby.

1934
01:29:17,352 --> 01:29:18,263
Turn that thing off.

1935
01:29:18,562 --> 01:29:19,177
Turn it off?

1936
01:29:19,479 --> 01:29:21,892
You're the one who got it
started, you turn it off.

1937
01:29:22,190 --> 01:29:23,772
Go ahead, turn it off.

1938
01:29:24,067 --> 01:29:27,105
This thing's gonna blow,
that's what they do.

1939
01:29:27,404 --> 01:29:28,940
This is how it starts,
and then it gets worse,

1940
01:29:29,239 --> 01:29:31,697
and worse, and then they explode.

1941
01:29:31,992 --> 01:29:35,201
There's gonna be baby all over the place.

1942
01:29:42,377 --> 01:29:43,458
That's my boy!

1943
01:29:59,769 --> 01:30:02,307
Thank you, thank you so much.

1944
01:30:02,606 --> 01:30:06,145
Just please let me know as
soon as you hear anything.

1945
01:30:06,443 --> 01:30:07,058
Okay.

1946
01:30:09,070 --> 01:30:11,562
Somebody spotted a man in Michigan

1947
01:30:11,865 --> 01:30:15,825
who matches Harold's description
and was carrying a baby.

1948
01:30:19,164 --> 01:30:19,904
Hi.

1949
01:30:20,957 --> 01:30:22,118
Hi Liz, Alison.

1950
01:30:26,171 --> 01:30:28,379
He's fine.
- You bastard!

1951
01:30:28,673 --> 01:30:29,459
He's fine.

1952
01:30:32,969 --> 01:30:33,709
Shh.

1953
01:30:42,604 --> 01:30:44,345
Do you have any idea
what I've been through

1954
01:30:44,648 --> 01:30:46,059
in the last two days?

1955
01:30:46,358 --> 01:30:47,894
Do you have any clue?

1956
01:30:48,193 --> 01:30:49,604
- Not exactly, but I'm
sure it's been awful.

1957
01:30:49,903 --> 01:30:51,769
That's why I brought him back.

1958
01:30:52,072 --> 01:30:53,563
How could you take him?

1959
01:30:53,865 --> 01:30:55,697
How could you do this?

1960
01:30:55,992 --> 01:30:57,153
How, Harold?

1961
01:30:57,452 --> 01:30:58,033
I didn't.

1962
01:30:58,328 --> 01:30:59,114
Then who did?

1963
01:30:59,412 --> 01:31:00,027
Not me.

1964
01:31:01,039 --> 01:31:03,998
- Why would I expect you to
tell me the truth at this point?

1965
01:31:04,292 --> 01:31:05,248
How sick am I?

1966
01:31:06,711 --> 01:31:08,202
Would you take him?

1967
01:31:12,717 --> 01:31:14,299
I'll be right there.

1968
01:31:20,350 --> 01:31:24,060
I just, I have to know how
you could do this to me.

1969
01:31:24,354 --> 01:31:25,595
How, Harold?

1970
01:31:25,897 --> 01:31:27,559
I'll tell you the truth.

1971
01:31:27,857 --> 01:31:28,438
All right.

1972
01:31:28,733 --> 01:31:30,520
I will.

1973
01:31:30,819 --> 01:31:32,526
I can wait, go ahead.

1974
01:31:38,785 --> 01:31:40,868
I'm an alien from another planet.

1975
01:31:41,162 --> 01:31:44,496
I was sent here to impregnate
a woman, and then go back.

1976
01:31:44,791 --> 01:31:46,657
But Graydon, the leader of the planet,

1977
01:31:46,960 --> 01:31:48,997
came and took the baby without telling me,

1978
01:31:49,295 --> 01:31:51,787
so I stole the baby back.

1979
01:31:52,090 --> 01:31:53,297
And now I'm here.

1980
01:31:54,300 --> 01:31:57,418
Is there any way we can start over?

1981
01:31:57,721 --> 01:32:00,509
- Is there a history of
mental illness in your family?

1982
01:32:00,807 --> 01:32:01,593
I care about you.

1983
01:32:01,891 --> 01:32:04,304
I think our son should be with his mother.

1984
01:32:04,602 --> 01:32:05,809
This is my son.

1985
01:32:07,063 --> 01:32:08,179
This is my son.

1986
01:32:09,482 --> 01:32:11,690
This is not our son.

1987
01:32:11,985 --> 01:32:15,319
There's no us anymore, so
there can't be any our.

1988
01:32:15,613 --> 01:32:18,196
I'm calling the police now, Harold.

1989
01:32:18,491 --> 01:32:19,982
I can prove that I'm an alien.

1990
01:32:20,285 --> 01:32:20,820
Oh really?

1991
01:32:21,119 --> 01:32:23,076
- I can make a bright
light come out of my nose.

1992
01:32:23,371 --> 01:32:24,452
That must come in handy on nights

1993
01:32:24,748 --> 01:32:26,364
you can't find a flashlight.

1994
01:32:26,666 --> 01:32:28,453
I can show you the light,

1995
01:32:28,752 --> 01:32:30,414
or you can just take my
word for it and trust me.

1996
01:32:30,712 --> 01:32:31,919
Trust you?

1997
01:32:32,213 --> 01:32:32,919
Trust you?

1998
01:32:33,214 --> 01:32:34,295
I should trust a man that...

1999
01:32:51,316 --> 01:32:53,649
I thought I did everything
right this time,

2000
01:32:53,943 --> 01:32:58,062
but now I married an
alien from another planet.

2001
01:33:03,078 --> 01:33:04,819
- I'm sorry, I could never
give you want you want

2002
01:33:05,121 --> 01:33:06,282
because I'm not human.

2003
01:33:06,581 --> 01:33:09,449
I could never understand what love is.

2004
01:33:09,751 --> 01:33:13,711
I hope as time goes by,
you'll be able to forgive me.

2005
01:33:16,424 --> 01:33:17,164
Goodbye.

2006
01:33:29,270 --> 01:33:31,353
Well, well, well, I was right.

2007
01:33:31,648 --> 01:33:33,685
I wasn't crazy, I was right.

2008
01:33:33,983 --> 01:33:35,224
You got me, congratulations.

2009
01:33:35,527 --> 01:33:36,392
Nobody believed me.

2010
01:33:36,694 --> 01:33:37,525
My wife didn't even believe me.

2011
01:33:37,821 --> 01:33:38,777
My wife didn't believe me either.

2012
01:33:39,072 --> 01:33:39,903
What is it with these women?

2013
01:33:40,198 --> 01:33:41,860
Don't get me started.

2014
01:33:42,158 --> 01:33:44,320
- So what are you going
to do now, take me in?

2015
01:33:44,619 --> 01:33:45,279
To where, my bosses?

2016
01:33:45,578 --> 01:33:46,364
They fired me.

2017
01:33:46,663 --> 01:33:48,370
I could give a rats ass about them.

2018
01:33:48,665 --> 01:33:52,409
No, I just had to know the
truth for me, as a man.

2019
01:33:52,710 --> 01:33:53,496
I hear ya.

2020
01:33:54,838 --> 01:33:56,249
So, what was the plan?

2021
01:33:56,548 --> 01:33:57,834
World domination, right?

2022
01:33:58,133 --> 01:33:58,964
Isn't it always?

2023
01:33:59,259 --> 01:34:00,466
Tell me about it.

2024
01:34:00,760 --> 01:34:02,752
Look, I'm really in dutch with the wife

2025
01:34:03,054 --> 01:34:03,840
about this whole deal.

2026
01:34:04,139 --> 01:34:05,220
If you could come with me and show her

2027
01:34:05,515 --> 01:34:06,756
that whole nose light thing,

2028
01:34:07,058 --> 01:34:08,299
it would really help get
me outta the dog house.

2029
01:34:08,601 --> 01:34:09,557
It would be my pleasure.

2030
01:34:09,853 --> 01:34:10,468
Great, let's go.

2031
01:34:10,770 --> 01:34:12,432
No one's going anywhere.

2032
01:34:12,730 --> 01:34:13,390
Who's this guy?

2033
01:34:13,690 --> 01:34:15,397
This is the leader of my planet.

2034
01:34:15,692 --> 01:34:16,603
No shit.

2035
01:34:16,901 --> 01:34:19,188
- You've placed us in a
very difficult position.

2036
01:34:19,487 --> 01:34:20,398
You're coming with me.

2037
01:34:20,697 --> 01:34:23,314
- Uh, look, I don't know
what your thing is with him,

2038
01:34:23,616 --> 01:34:26,359
but he's gotta go see my wife first, okay?

2039
01:34:26,661 --> 01:34:27,742
You appear intelligent,

2040
01:34:28,037 --> 01:34:30,780
but when you open your
mouth, the effect is spoiled.

2041
01:34:31,082 --> 01:34:32,618
You might wanna drop that, chum.

2042
01:34:32,917 --> 01:34:35,159
Fool, I have a highly evolved brain

2043
01:34:35,461 --> 01:34:37,327
that cannot only block
the most intense pain,

2044
01:34:37,630 --> 01:34:39,212
but also heal any injury sustained

2045
01:34:39,507 --> 01:34:41,123
within a matter of seconds.

2046
01:34:41,426 --> 01:34:42,792
You cannot hurt me.

2047
01:34:53,104 --> 01:34:54,265
I always had a feeling that

2048
01:34:54,564 --> 01:34:57,557
heal any injury thing was bullshit.

2049
01:34:57,859 --> 01:34:58,474
Harold?

2050
01:34:59,652 --> 01:35:00,813
Harold, Harold.

2051
01:35:04,657 --> 01:35:05,773
Who was that?

2052
01:35:06,075 --> 01:35:08,317
Graydon, the leader of my planet.

2053
01:35:08,620 --> 01:35:09,576
Is he dead?

2054
01:35:09,871 --> 01:35:11,863
Yeah, he just killed him.

2055
01:35:12,165 --> 01:35:14,077
Oh, well listen, there's something

2056
01:35:14,375 --> 01:35:15,911
I have to talk to you about.

2057
01:35:16,211 --> 01:35:19,329
- You know, I should
probably be running along.

2058
01:35:19,631 --> 01:35:23,591
I was just wondering if
it'd be okay if, you know,

2059
01:35:25,511 --> 01:35:26,672
can I have him?

2060
01:35:27,764 --> 01:35:29,881
I don't see why not.

2061
01:35:30,183 --> 01:35:30,969
Excuse me.

2062
01:35:37,649 --> 01:35:39,606
Great, nice meetin' the both of you.

2063
01:35:39,901 --> 01:35:40,516
Take care.

2064
01:35:41,819 --> 01:35:44,232
Oh, uh, to be clear, this really was

2065
01:35:44,530 --> 01:35:46,112
the leader of your planet, right?

2066
01:35:46,407 --> 01:35:48,319
Because if it's your
insurance agent or somethin',

2067
01:35:48,618 --> 01:35:50,610
I'm in some amazingly deep shit.

2068
01:35:50,912 --> 01:35:51,993
You're okay, man.

2069
01:35:52,288 --> 01:35:52,903
Thanks.

2070
01:36:00,129 --> 01:36:01,870
You know what you said in the house?

2071
01:36:02,173 --> 01:36:04,586
About not knowing what love is?

2072
01:36:04,884 --> 01:36:06,841
Well, I don't know either.

2073
01:36:08,012 --> 01:36:09,378
Really?

2074
01:36:09,681 --> 01:36:12,890
No, but you married me, we had a child,

2075
01:36:13,893 --> 01:36:16,556
you rescued my child and
brought him back to me,

2076
01:36:16,854 --> 01:36:21,189
and then you told me the truth
about who you really are.

2077
01:36:21,484 --> 01:36:24,477
Maybe that's your way
of saying you love me?

2078
01:36:24,779 --> 01:36:25,815
I don't know.

2079
01:36:28,157 --> 01:36:28,897
Me too.

2080
01:36:47,260 --> 01:36:49,627
Let us celebrate with Susan and Harold

2081
01:36:49,929 --> 01:36:52,091
as they renew their marriage vows,

2082
01:36:52,390 --> 01:36:54,882
and let this also be a
time for the rest of us

2083
01:36:55,184 --> 01:36:58,973
to reflect upon and make a
renewed spiritual commitment

2084
01:36:59,272 --> 01:37:01,639
to our own vows and unions.

2085
01:37:01,941 --> 01:37:04,729
Harold and Susan have
written their own vows.

2086
01:37:05,028 --> 01:37:07,486
Harold, would you like to start?

2087
01:37:14,787 --> 01:37:16,824
- Susan, when I married
you the first time,

2088
01:37:17,123 --> 01:37:19,490
I only did it to get into your pants.

2089
01:37:19,792 --> 01:37:21,283
Now I'm doing it because I want to spend

2090
01:37:21,586 --> 01:37:24,124
the rest of my life
getting into your pants.

2091
01:37:26,674 --> 01:37:28,131
Thank you for marrying me,

2092
01:37:28,426 --> 01:37:30,509
and I will do everything possible

2093
01:37:30,803 --> 01:37:33,045
to make you and our new son...

2094
01:37:34,932 --> 01:37:35,672
Aaron.

2095
01:37:36,851 --> 01:37:38,387
Aaron, very happy.

2096
01:37:40,313 --> 01:37:41,975
That was beautiful, Harold.

2097
01:37:42,273 --> 01:37:44,560
- Thank you.
- Now you, Susan.

2098
01:37:44,859 --> 01:37:46,225
Harold, meeting you has taught me

2099
01:37:46,527 --> 01:37:49,019
that the Universe is
one big screwed up place

2100
01:37:49,322 --> 01:37:52,315
where everyone's trying to
work out their problems,

2101
01:37:52,617 --> 01:37:54,734
but I'm honored to work them out with you

2102
01:37:55,036 --> 01:37:57,699
because I think I love you.

2103
01:37:57,997 --> 01:37:58,953
Very cosmic.

2104
01:37:59,874 --> 01:38:03,208
And with that, I again
pronounce you man and wife.

2105
01:38:03,503 --> 01:38:05,460
You may now kiss.

2106
01:38:17,850 --> 01:38:19,136
Well that was great.

2107
01:38:19,435 --> 01:38:20,642
That was the wedding I always wanted.

2108
01:38:20,937 --> 01:38:21,802
I know.

2109
01:38:22,105 --> 01:38:24,142
- What a perfect day.
- Yeah.

2110
01:38:24,440 --> 01:38:26,272
Your friends seem nice.

2111
01:38:26,567 --> 01:38:27,683
Oh listen, I didn't wanna bring this up

2112
01:38:27,985 --> 01:38:29,726
until after the ceremony, but they want me

2113
01:38:30,029 --> 01:38:32,646
to be leader of the planet.

2114
01:38:32,949 --> 01:38:34,485
You're kidding.

2115
01:38:34,784 --> 01:38:35,319
No.

2116
01:38:35,618 --> 01:38:37,200
What did you say?

2117
01:38:37,495 --> 01:38:39,703
- Well, I told them I had
to talk to you about it.

2118
01:38:39,997 --> 01:38:40,987
That's quite an honor.

2119
01:38:41,290 --> 01:38:42,246
I'm proud of you.

2120
01:38:42,542 --> 01:38:45,876
- Thanks but, you know, it
means we'd have to move there.

2121
01:38:46,170 --> 01:38:47,001
Oh.

2122
01:38:47,296 --> 01:38:48,503
I mean, I guess I could commute,

2123
01:38:48,798 --> 01:38:49,788
but that's a long commute.

2124
01:38:50,091 --> 01:38:51,627
All my friends are here.

2125
01:38:51,926 --> 01:38:54,464
Who, Liz and Alison and what's her name?

2126
01:38:54,762 --> 01:38:56,628
Why do you have to do that?

2127
01:38:56,931 --> 01:38:57,466
Sorry.

2128
01:38:57,765 --> 01:38:59,381
- Besides, I know nothing
about your planet.

2129
01:38:59,684 --> 01:39:01,516
I don't know what the schools are like.

2130
01:39:01,811 --> 01:39:03,177
We're a thousand years ahead of Earth.

2131
01:39:03,479 --> 01:39:04,344
What do you think the schools are like?

2132
01:39:04,647 --> 01:39:05,763
Will you please slow down?

2133
01:39:06,065 --> 01:39:07,272
You're going too fast for the baby.

2134
01:39:07,567 --> 01:39:08,398
Don't start, all right.

2135
01:39:08,693 --> 01:39:10,901
The baby was fine in
the transporter chamber.

2136
01:39:11,195 --> 01:39:14,404
Four solar systems, I never heard a peep.

2137
01:39:17,368 --> 01:39:18,859
Okay, I'll commute.