1
00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:09,835
Okay. Plug her in.

2
00:00:09,879 --> 00:00:11,576
Oh, yay![exclaiming, laughing]

3
00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:12,969
All right. Wonderful.Yeah. Yeah!

4
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,797
Your old gazebo's looking
pretty good, huh, Hetty?

5
00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:17,191
Indeed!
Now, get some swans in the lake,

6
00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:19,932
Yeah.and a couple of giraffes
at a dinner party...

7
00:00:19,976 --> 00:00:21,673
It'll be the Gilded Age
all over again.

8
00:00:21,717 --> 00:00:22,848
They love it, Jay.

9
00:00:22,892 --> 00:00:24,850
Woo-hoo!
Two days of sanding,

10
00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:26,635
three coats of paint,
but the smiles

11
00:00:26,678 --> 00:00:28,854
you claim to see on
your invisible friends' faces

12
00:00:28,898 --> 00:00:30,900
make it all worthwhile.

13
00:00:30,943 --> 00:00:33,511
Hey, should we hang some
Halloween decorations on it?Yes.

14
00:00:33,555 --> 00:00:36,036
Oh, my God, wait.
Halloween? Ghosts!

15
00:00:36,079 --> 00:00:38,647
This is your holiday.
You guys must love Halloween.

16
00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:40,170
[all grumbling]Who's gonna tell her?

17
00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:41,998
We hate Halloween.

18
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:42,999
What'd they say?

19
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,044
They don't like it.

20
00:00:44,087 --> 00:00:45,219
Okay, that feels off brand.

21
00:00:45,262 --> 00:00:46,959
All Hallows Eve mocks us

22
00:00:47,003 --> 00:00:49,092
and belittles
our very existence.

23
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:50,267
People putting sheets
over their heads

24
00:00:50,311 --> 00:00:51,660
and pretending
to be "ghosts"?

25
00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:53,140
I mean,
what is that?

26
00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:54,880
Plus, we can't do any of the
fun stuff that Livings do.

27
00:00:54,924 --> 00:00:57,100
We can't dress up in costumes,
we can't eat candy...

28
00:00:57,144 --> 00:00:58,623
Can't hook up with
a sexy nurse.

29
00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:00,190
Or a sexy kitten.
Or sexy Bobby Boucher

30
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:01,365
from Waterboy.

31
00:01:01,409 --> 00:01:02,540
I didn't think
it was possible, either,

32
00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:04,020
but this chick pulled it off.

33
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,891
Also, I died on Halloween.

34
00:01:07,719 --> 00:01:09,852
At a party at the mansion
in 1995.

35
00:01:09,895 --> 00:01:11,114
This is a costume.

36
00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:13,116
I'm actually an accountant
and my name is Mike.

37
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:14,552
Seriously?

38
00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:16,076
No, I'm 500 years old.

39
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:17,947
Come on, Sam.[laughs]

40
00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:19,253
Oh, that was a good one.

41
00:01:19,296 --> 00:01:20,906
Huh. Storyteller.
[clicks tongue] It's a gift.

42
00:01:20,950 --> 00:01:22,952
♪

43
00:01:29,132 --> 00:01:30,699
Okay, I get that you guys
don't like Halloween.

44
00:01:30,742 --> 00:01:33,354
But all the kids dressed up...
It's so cute.

45
00:01:33,397 --> 00:01:36,096
Don't get us
started on "kids."

46
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:37,662
Every year
on Halloween,

47
00:01:37,706 --> 00:01:40,404
my beloved Woodstone
Mansion is defiled

48
00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:41,710
by adolescent
hooligans.

49
00:01:41,753 --> 00:01:42,711
ALBERTA: [groans]
They throw eggs,

50
00:01:42,754 --> 00:01:44,234
put toilet paper
in the trees...

51
00:01:44,278 --> 00:01:45,627
Been going on
for decades.

52
00:01:45,670 --> 00:01:47,194
It's sort of a
local tradition,

53
00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:49,109
passed down from delinquent
father to delinquent son.

54
00:01:49,152 --> 00:01:50,458
ISAAC:
It's humiliating.

55
00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:51,459
This is our home.

56
00:01:51,502 --> 00:01:52,677
This is where we live.

57
00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:54,723
And we're powerless to stop it.

58
00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:57,117
What's going on?The ghosts say
there's a group of kids

59
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,596
that vandalize the house
each Halloween.

60
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,729
Oh, no, no, no.
Not on my watch, babe.

61
00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:02,165
Guys, don't worry.

62
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:03,819
Of course-- we have them.

63
00:02:03,862 --> 00:02:05,429
We don't have
to depend on

64
00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:07,344
some useless old lady
to defend the house.

65
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:10,304
My great-great-granddaughter,
may she rest in peace.

66
00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:12,175
That's right.
This year we have Samantha

67
00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:13,568
and her virile
young husband.

68
00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:16,136
They can do battle against
the wayward youths for us.

69
00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:18,181
Jump out of tree,
and bash their heads!

70
00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:19,313
Oh, my God, no.

71
00:02:19,356 --> 00:02:20,488
Nobody's doing battle
with anybody.

72
00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:22,490
Jay and I will
talk to the kids.

73
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:23,665
JAY: They're probably just
messing with the house

74
00:02:23,708 --> 00:02:25,362
'cause a creepy
old lady lived there.

75
00:02:25,406 --> 00:02:26,842
She was really creepy.
That's true.

76
00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:28,409
Again, my descendant.

77
00:02:28,452 --> 00:02:29,627
Who just passed.

78
00:02:29,671 --> 00:02:31,847
We all were there.
Mm.
[sighs]

79
00:02:34,415 --> 00:02:35,546
JAY:
Ooh, pre-Halloween pics

80
00:02:35,590 --> 00:02:37,244
are coming in
on the 'Gram.

81
00:02:37,287 --> 00:02:38,767
Yeah, there's gonna be
a lot of Carole Baskins

82
00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:40,682
hooking up with
Baby Yodas this year.

83
00:02:40,725 --> 00:02:43,641
I know it's English,
and yet I gleaned nothing.

84
00:02:43,685 --> 00:02:46,209
Aw, man. Some of our friends
are at a rooftop in Brooklyn.

85
00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:48,559
Aw, somebody's got FOMO.

86
00:02:48,603 --> 00:02:50,170
What is FOMO?

87
00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:51,562
Oh, it's "fear
of missing out."

88
00:02:51,606 --> 00:02:53,260
Like if you're not invited
to a party or something.

89
00:02:53,303 --> 00:02:56,176
Like when Mamie Fish
excluded me from her cotillion

90
00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:57,829
because she knew
I had the more comely ankles.

91
00:02:57,873 --> 00:02:59,353
SAMANTHA: Okay, I know we're
not in the city anymore.

92
00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:01,485
But think of
the positives:

93
00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:03,574
This is our first
Halloween as homeowners.

94
00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:05,185
We're getting
trick-or-treaters.

95
00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:06,664
And we're still
the Step Brothers.

96
00:03:06,708 --> 00:03:08,797
Yeah, I guess it's cool.[laughs]

97
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,842
Who are the Step Brothers?SAMANTHA:
It's from a movie.

98
00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:12,496
We dress like
this every year,

99
00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:13,889
because it's cheap,
it's comfortable,

100
00:03:13,932 --> 00:03:15,717
and it doesn't
sexually objectify me.

101
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:17,588
But that's the whole point
of Halloween.

102
00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:19,547
[doorbell rings]Our first trick-or-treaters.

103
00:03:19,590 --> 00:03:20,896
Are you ready?

104
00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:24,943
It's go time.

105
00:03:27,555 --> 00:03:28,686
Trick or treat.

106
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:29,687
[gasps] Aw.

107
00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:31,559
He's a little
Ghostbuster.

108
00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:33,865
A little what?What is ghostbuster?

109
00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:35,345
Not now.

110
00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:36,607
Oh, sorry, are we too early?

111
00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:39,306
No, no, I was just
trying to remember

112
00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:41,264
when the Ghostbustersmovie
came out

113
00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:44,702
and it was not now,
so it must have been before.

114
00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:46,313
[quietly]:
Nailed it, sweetie.

115
00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:50,578
Uh, Ghostbuster, would
you like some candy?

116
00:03:50,621 --> 00:03:52,275
Are you seriously not going to
tell us what a ghostbuster is?

117
00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:54,451
It's another movie.Classic Bill Murray.

118
00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:55,757
He plays a scientist

119
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:56,932
who's trying to sleep
with Sigourney Weaver

120
00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:58,368
and bust ghosts.

121
00:03:58,412 --> 00:04:00,849
[gasping]Bust ghosts?

122
00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:03,852
You want to bust me?

123
00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:05,897
I bust you!

124
00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,290
Okay, thanks for stopping by,
enjoy your Mounds.

125
00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:08,422
Uh, Happy Halloween!

126
00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:11,425
Ghost thing?
Ghost thing.

127
00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:12,469
Cool.

128
00:04:12,513 --> 00:04:13,862
[gasping]

129
00:04:13,905 --> 00:04:15,733
Ooh! We should watch
Ghostbusterstonight.

130
00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:16,908
You guys will
love it, trust me.

131
00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:18,432
Is there a Blockbuster
around here?

132
00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:19,955
We don't have time
for frivolous entertainment.

133
00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:21,435
We must set up sentries.

134
00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:22,914
An attack is nigh.

135
00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:23,915
Okay, take it easy.

136
00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:25,656
We should do shifts
or something.

137
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,702
Some of you stand around,
keeping lookout,

138
00:04:27,745 --> 00:04:29,443
while I watch
a talkie with Trev.

139
00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:30,748
Oh, you know what?
I'll join you.

140
00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:32,750
What? No! You guys are
the worst army ever.

141
00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:33,925
PETE:
I never saw it.

142
00:04:33,969 --> 00:04:35,449
It came out
the year before I died,

143
00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,364
but you know how it is--
between work and family

144
00:04:37,407 --> 00:04:38,756
and getting shot in the neck
with an arrow...

145
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,454
Fine, fine.

146
00:04:40,497 --> 00:04:42,369
But the rest of us
will keep watch

147
00:04:42,412 --> 00:04:43,761
and alert the Livings

148
00:04:43,805 --> 00:04:45,763
so they may confront
our vandals.Mm.

149
00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:49,332
Then bash them on the heads!
[chuckles]

150
00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:51,378
Any chance you
change your mind on that?

151
00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:52,596
No?

152
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,294
Okay.

153
00:04:57,732 --> 00:04:59,299
The enemies have arrived.

154
00:04:59,342 --> 00:05:01,518
Jay, Isaac says
the enemies have arrived.

155
00:05:01,562 --> 00:05:02,998
Enemies?

156
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,958
You mean these kids
out here on the bikes?

157
00:05:07,002 --> 00:05:08,569
SAMANTHA:Come on!

158
00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:14,444
It's the parents
who are at fault.

159
00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:16,054
Properly raised children
would be at home

160
00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:17,882
or working
in a factory.

161
00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:22,452
That's the evil leader Zack,
his paramour Zoey,

162
00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:24,976
and their very dumb
third wheel Robbie.

163
00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:26,326
Dude.

164
00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:27,457
How do you know so much
about these kids?

165
00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:28,763
Last year,
they hung out

166
00:05:28,806 --> 00:05:29,981
and split something called
a "hard lemonade."

167
00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:31,766
And we listened in
on their conversation.

168
00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:33,550
JAY:
What's up, bro-hams?

169
00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:35,509
Hey, you got some
sick cykes, huh?

170
00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:37,424
Thank you, sir.

171
00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:38,860
I'm sorry, what? Sir?

172
00:05:38,903 --> 00:05:40,165
Ouch.

173
00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:41,341
Well, we just wanted
to introduce ourselves.

174
00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:42,385
I'm Samantha, this is Jay.

175
00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:44,387
And we're the owners
of this house.

176
00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:45,736
So, listen, like,
whatever happened in the past,

177
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:46,824
it's water under the bridge.

178
00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:49,740
But let's just agree
that it ends here.

179
00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:51,829
Yeah, you know, we were actually
planning on egging the place,

180
00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:53,701
but after seeing you guys,
and seeing how cool you are,

181
00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:55,572
it just doesn't feel right
anymore.

182
00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:57,879
Hmm. This feels like a trap.

183
00:05:57,922 --> 00:05:59,489
Well, thank you.
ZACK:Anyway,

184
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,012
we'll be on our way.

185
00:06:01,056 --> 00:06:02,362
Well, next time,
pop on your helmets.

186
00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:03,406
Cool kids wear lids.

187
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:05,408
They do! [chuckles]
Keep it a hundo.

188
00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:07,062
They seem really nice.

189
00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:09,760
Very. See, Isaac?
No need for war.

190
00:06:11,675 --> 00:06:12,937
Attack!

191
00:06:12,981 --> 00:06:15,549
Egg war!
Get 'em!

192
00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:17,072
Hey! What?
Whoa! What-- No!

193
00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:19,727
SAMANTHA:
That's not fair!How do you like that, bro-ham?

194
00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:21,381
[Zack laughs]

195
00:06:21,424 --> 00:06:22,686
[grunts]

196
00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:24,601
I hate to say
"I told you so."

197
00:06:24,645 --> 00:06:26,560
Wait, no, it's actually
quite satisfying.

198
00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:27,778
This is just great.

199
00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:29,389
Our friends
are partying on rooftops,

200
00:06:29,432 --> 00:06:30,999
and we're being egged by
the cast of Stranger Things.

201
00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:32,435
We have to do something.

202
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:34,045
Those kids can't
get away with that.

203
00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:35,656
Do something? It's over.

204
00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:37,875
We've just got to get
cleaned up and move on.

205
00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:39,529
Wait, no. Samantha is right.

206
00:06:39,573 --> 00:06:41,444
There must be accountability.

207
00:06:41,488 --> 00:06:43,141
Without repercussions,
these children will never learn.

208
00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:45,535
The ghosts agree.
The kids need consequences.

209
00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:47,015
Come on, babe.
What do they know?

210
00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:48,712
Well, for one thing,
we were parents.

211
00:06:48,756 --> 00:06:50,105
Well, they were all parents.

212
00:06:50,148 --> 00:06:51,541
SASAPPIS:
I'm definitely not a parent.

213
00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:53,151
I don't know why
I said "definitely."

214
00:06:53,195 --> 00:06:54,805
I mean, I had sex
during my life.

215
00:06:54,849 --> 00:06:57,852
We just have also been around
for such a very long time,

216
00:06:57,895 --> 00:06:59,506
we have observed what works
and what doesn't work

217
00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:01,072
with regard to disciplining
children.

218
00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:02,683
So what do you think
we should do?

219
00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:04,685
I just told you I think
we should let it go.

220
00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:05,729
I was actually asking
the ghosts.

221
00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:08,036
Seriously?Mm-hmm.

222
00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:09,516
They've been around forever.

223
00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:10,734
We should take advantage
of this.

224
00:07:10,778 --> 00:07:13,084
It's like a wise council
of elders.

225
00:07:13,128 --> 00:07:15,696
43 times.
I had sex 43 times.

226
00:07:15,739 --> 00:07:18,176
A number so specific
it'd be impossible to make up.

227
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:19,787
You know what I would do,
if I were alive

228
00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:21,179
and the telephone
had been invented:

229
00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:22,920
call their mommies.HETTY: Yes.

230
00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:25,488
Zack's last name is Ekenrod
if that helps.

231
00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:27,969
His mother is Meg. She works
at a place called Applebee's

232
00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:29,449
as some sort of wench.

233
00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:31,581
They're saying we should
call Zack's mom.

234
00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:33,888
They want us to narc? Mm-mm.
Snitches get stitches.

235
00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:35,498
You're only gonna
antagonize him.

236
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:37,065
Or correct his behavior.

237
00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:38,762
[sighs]

238
00:07:38,806 --> 00:07:40,721
Okay, do people think
I'm lying about the sex thing?

239
00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:42,200
'Cause I'm really not lying.

240
00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:43,811
THORFINN:
Don't worry.

241
00:07:43,854 --> 00:07:45,160
I know you tell truth.

242
00:07:45,203 --> 00:07:47,902
As ghost I watch you
many times.

243
00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:51,035
Thank you.
Wait, what?

244
00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:52,559
ALBERTA:
Pause the movie, Trev.

245
00:07:52,602 --> 00:07:54,212
Pause the movie. [Trevor straining]

246
00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:55,649
Paused. Whew.

247
00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:58,478
What the H-E-double hockey
sticks is this movie?

248
00:07:58,521 --> 00:07:59,740
People rounding up ghosts,

249
00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:01,698
keeping them in some
contraption.

250
00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:03,961
For what? Till when?

251
00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:05,659
I thought Venkman
was a hero.

252
00:08:05,702 --> 00:08:07,704
He's no hero,
he's a war criminal.

253
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:09,967
Poor Slimer's just trying
to live his afterlife,

254
00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:12,143
eating leftover room service
that no one even wants.

255
00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:14,842
And then they vacuum him up
into this tiny little box?

256
00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:17,148
I don't remember it
being this disturbing.

257
00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:19,020
Well, you were a Living
when you watched it last.

258
00:08:19,063 --> 00:08:20,891
This is a whole new perspective.

259
00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:23,024
Also, why the hell
are they all green?

260
00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:24,634
Were they green in life?

261
00:08:24,678 --> 00:08:27,681
I mean, what died
and made that ghost?

262
00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:31,511
JAY:
Look, we're not trying to
get anyone in trouble.

263
00:08:31,554 --> 00:08:33,556
But we didn't want to
just let it go.

264
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,166
Tell her to deny him supper.

265
00:08:35,210 --> 00:08:38,605
Tell her to do Blood Eagle;
tear out ribs and lungs.

266
00:08:38,648 --> 00:08:40,607
Zack, apologize to them.

267
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:43,610
Fine. I'm sorry.

268
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:45,133
It wasn't nice,

269
00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:46,134
and I won't do it again.

270
00:08:46,177 --> 00:08:47,657
SAMANTHA:
Thank you, Zack.

271
00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:49,006
Apology accepted.

272
00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:50,878
All right, let's go.

273
00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:55,665
[gasping]

274
00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:59,843
Well, that was subtle.It wasn't great.

275
00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:01,671
I told you we were gonna
antagonize

276
00:09:01,715 --> 00:09:02,933
the little psychopath.

277
00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:05,022
Maybe he was just
messing with us.

278
00:09:05,066 --> 00:09:06,546
Blood Eagle get out truth.

279
00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:11,159
Or fake confession.
Either way it's still fun.

280
00:09:11,202 --> 00:09:13,944
Troops, we all saw
the threatening gesture

281
00:09:13,988 --> 00:09:15,990
made by young Zack.
[scoffs]

282
00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:20,211
It doesn't take a military
genius, which I am,

283
00:09:20,255 --> 00:09:23,301
to know that we must be
on guard for a new attack.

284
00:09:23,345 --> 00:09:24,868
We must spread out.

285
00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:26,783
Vast territory to defend.

286
00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:28,219
ISAAC:
Yes, that is the rub.

287
00:09:28,263 --> 00:09:29,699
But where?

288
00:09:29,743 --> 00:09:32,049
Where will these rapscallions
strike next?

289
00:09:32,093 --> 00:09:34,051
Well, I can tell you
an obvious target.

290
00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:35,662
We're sitting in it.[gasps]

291
00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:38,012
Sasappis is right.
This recently restored

292
00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:40,710
grand structure, all lit up,
it's begging to be hit.

293
00:09:40,754 --> 00:09:41,929
Yes, that's right.

294
00:09:41,972 --> 00:09:43,321
We must tell Samantha to

295
00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:44,845
turn these lights off
immediately.

296
00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:46,803
This place is a sitting duck.

297
00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:50,198
Thorfinn turn
off lights. Easy.

298
00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:51,808
Very good.

299
00:09:51,852 --> 00:09:54,202
[straining]

300
00:09:54,245 --> 00:09:58,032
[electricity crackling][crying out]

301
00:09:58,075 --> 00:09:59,947
Gadzooks, what have you done?!

302
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:01,992
Oh, oh, oh, oh...

303
00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:04,691
Go, go, go, go, go, go.

304
00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:10,000
Uh-oh.

305
00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:11,654
If anyone has a water power
they're sitting on,

306
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,961
now would be
a good time to use it.

307
00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:20,358
Oh, this isn't good.

308
00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:21,403
They worked forever on this.
I watched Jay sand for hours,

309
00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:24,014
getting sweatier
and sweatier...

310
00:10:24,058 --> 00:10:27,627
Maybe they won't notice.

311
00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:30,717
The Livings are not
going to be happy.

312
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,632
Well, the good news is there's
nothing they can really do.

313
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:35,330
We're ghosts. We're impervious
to their worldly punishments.

314
00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:36,592
They could take away our TV.

315
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,941
[gasps]
Wait, no.

316
00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:39,290
But there's
a new season of The Bakeoff.

317
00:10:39,334 --> 00:10:42,163
No! No, no, no, no!Our gazebo!

318
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:43,294
JAY:
Oh, my God.

319
00:10:43,338 --> 00:10:44,774
What happened?
Did anybody see anything?

320
00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:47,255
Is actually funny story.

321
00:10:47,298 --> 00:10:48,430
It was the kids.

322
00:10:48,473 --> 00:10:50,040
The kids did it.JAY: I got this.

323
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:54,697
And that's-that's what happened,
and that's what we all saw.

324
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:56,743
Are you serious?Yeah.

325
00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:57,831
What? What's going on?

326
00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:59,615
They're saying they saw
those kids

327
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:00,660
burn down the gazebo.

328
00:11:00,703 --> 00:11:02,400
I-I can't believe this.

329
00:11:02,444 --> 00:11:03,663
Oh, my God, that kid
really follows through

330
00:11:03,706 --> 00:11:04,794
on a threat, doesn't he?

331
00:11:04,838 --> 00:11:06,491
The tiny fiends approached

332
00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:08,145
with malice in their eyes,

333
00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:10,278
their torches held aloft.

334
00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:11,671
They had torches?

335
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:12,802
Those tiny wooden torches.

336
00:11:12,846 --> 00:11:14,499
Matches, I believe
you call them.

337
00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:15,675
Yes, that's the word
I was looking for.

338
00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:16,806
Damn my female brain.

339
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:18,634
This doesn't make any sense.

340
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,505
I mean, they egg, they TP,
but arson?

341
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:23,508
This is a major escalation.ISAAC: And yet it happened.

342
00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:26,337
As sad a comment on today's
youth though that may be.

343
00:11:26,381 --> 00:11:28,905
We're gonna have to
call the cops.

344
00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:32,300
This is officially
the worst Halloween ever.

345
00:11:32,343 --> 00:11:33,562
Fine! I get it.

346
00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:35,738
I took you away from
all those fun parties,

347
00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:37,740
and then I called
that kid's mommy,

348
00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:39,524
and now we have no gazebo,
and it's all my fault.

349
00:11:39,568 --> 00:11:40,569
I'm sorry, Jay.

350
00:11:42,876 --> 00:11:44,181
[sighs]

351
00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:45,705
Man, I can't believe kids are

352
00:11:45,748 --> 00:11:47,315
capable of this sort of thing.

353
00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:49,273
Didn't kids murder you?

354
00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:52,320
That was an accident,
I-I'm pretty sure.

355
00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:55,192
OFFICER: Well, we talked
to the kids, and...

356
00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:56,367
they denied everything.

357
00:11:56,411 --> 00:11:58,239
The kid made a weird
throat slash gesture,

358
00:11:58,282 --> 00:11:59,544
and an hour later,
the gazebo burned down.

359
00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:01,198
Isn't that pretty damning?

360
00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:02,634
She'd have made
a great lawyer

361
00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:04,724
had she not gone into journalism
or been born a woman.

362
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:05,942
OFFICER:
Okay, look,

363
00:12:05,986 --> 00:12:07,465
this is a small town.

364
00:12:07,509 --> 00:12:09,946
We know these kids,
and frankly, they're bad news.

365
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:12,688
Nothing like arson before,
but maybe they just snapped.

366
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,691
They did say that you
called their mommies.

367
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,301
Listen, what's gonna happen
to these kids?

368
00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:18,738
Eh, we're looking at fines,

369
00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:20,130
maybe community service.

370
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:22,567
They'll definitely kick Zack
off the basketball team.

371
00:12:22,611 --> 00:12:25,396
Yeah, what these kids
really burned down tonight

372
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:26,833
was any hope
for a bright future.

373
00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:28,486
Oh, boy.

374
00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:31,402
Keep it together, man.Have you noticed any other

375
00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:35,232
suspicious activity
around the house?

376
00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:36,886
Mm... no.

377
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:38,801
Well, would you mind
showing us to the, uh,

378
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:41,412
uh, uh... the gazebo?

379
00:12:41,456 --> 00:12:43,240
Sure.

380
00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:44,981
You couldn't remember
"gazebo"?

381
00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:46,722
Well, all's well that ends well.

382
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,637
And, oh, God,
I believe it's Sunday.

383
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,508
Pete, I think it's time
for Food Club.

384
00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:51,771
HETTY:Oh, where did we
leave off last week?

385
00:12:51,814 --> 00:12:52,946
Thor was talking about cod.

386
00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:54,817
Oh, yes, you're right.
Absolutely.

387
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:57,689
It was quite a cliffhanger,
if I recall.Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh!

388
00:12:57,733 --> 00:12:59,822
Not so fast.
[sniffs]

389
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:02,607
Something doesn't
smell right here.

390
00:13:02,651 --> 00:13:04,696
I think everything smells
perfectly fine.

391
00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:08,526
Thorfinn, sounds like those kids
are in a lot of trouble.

392
00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:09,963
Do you think they deserve it?

393
00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:11,791
Well, I mean...

394
00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,923
Of course he thinks
they deserve it.I didn't ask you.

395
00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:16,578
Spill it, iceberg.
What are you sitting on?

396
00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:21,409
Okay! Kids didn't do it.
I did.

397
00:13:21,452 --> 00:13:23,280
What?Good God, man,

398
00:13:23,324 --> 00:13:25,674
that's all it took?How did you know?

399
00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:27,632
You date a two-timing
bootlegger for five years,

400
00:13:27,676 --> 00:13:30,374
you learn to tell
when someone's lying.It was an accident.

401
00:13:30,418 --> 00:13:31,854
Also, Isaac lie.

402
00:13:31,898 --> 00:13:33,900
Hetty and Sass went along.

403
00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:35,466
Sorry.

404
00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:36,859
Law of the sea.

405
00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:40,036
The ship goes down,
we all perish.

406
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:41,821
Well, we have to tell Sam.

407
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,039
Look, maybe these kids
didn't commit

408
00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:44,867
this particular offense,

409
00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:46,086
but they have been
terrorizing

410
00:13:46,129 --> 00:13:47,827
Woodstone Mansion
for years.

411
00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:49,959
We can't just frame them.

412
00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:53,093
This goes against
everything I stand for.Oh, really, Pete?

413
00:13:53,136 --> 00:13:55,878
Because from where
I'm sitting, I see a man

414
00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:57,749
who for the past 40 years
has blathered on

415
00:13:57,793 --> 00:14:00,274
about his "troop,"
and things like loyalty.

416
00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:02,232
I mean, you literally have
a loyalty badge.

417
00:14:02,276 --> 00:14:04,147
So?

418
00:14:04,191 --> 00:14:05,192
So we're your troop now.

419
00:14:05,235 --> 00:14:07,063
Your loyalty lies with us.

420
00:14:07,107 --> 00:14:10,850
So what's it gonna be, Pete,
the ghosts or the Livings, hmm?

421
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:13,940
Trevor, back us up.

422
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,075
I stand with Pete.

423
00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:21,686
Wait, what? But Pete's
on the side of good.

424
00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:23,079
I mean, the other side.

425
00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:26,778
We spend our days complaining
about how Halloween

426
00:14:26,822 --> 00:14:28,693
makes us out to be evil,

427
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:32,654
and movies paint us
to be the villains.

428
00:14:32,697 --> 00:14:34,656
But if we let some kids
take the fall

429
00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:36,136
for something that we did,

430
00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:40,053
then aren't we exactly
what they say we are?

431
00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:42,925
And don't we deserve
to be busted?

432
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:45,101
ALBERTA:
Oh, amen.

433
00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:46,842
ISAAC:
Really?

434
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:47,974
He's the one doing
the right thing?

435
00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:49,845
I really do feel bad now.

436
00:14:51,847 --> 00:14:53,675
Are you slow-clapping
your own speech?

437
00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:55,285
You're damn right I am.
They haven't seen an '80s movie,

438
00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:57,722
and you didn't start it,
so I have to.

439
00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:11,084
[laughing, cheering]

440
00:15:12,085 --> 00:15:13,825
That's weird.

441
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:17,351
There's some charred wood
over there.

442
00:15:17,394 --> 00:15:19,396
Is that part of the gazebo?

443
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,659
Why would they drag it
over there?

444
00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:23,661
Oh, no, no, no.
That's our canoe.

445
00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:25,315
Yeah, yeah, we dragged it
up from the lake.

446
00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:28,057
Hold up. You're the folks
that burned down the canoe

447
00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:29,058
a few weeks ago.

448
00:15:29,102 --> 00:15:30,364
I didn't get
a good look at you.

449
00:15:30,407 --> 00:15:31,800
Well, here we are.

450
00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:33,019
And now you're claiming
that some kids

451
00:15:33,062 --> 00:15:34,411
burned down your gazebo?

452
00:15:34,455 --> 00:15:35,891
Okay, it doesn't
look great.

453
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,762
Yeah, but we're not arsonists.No.

454
00:15:37,806 --> 00:15:39,851
Although if we were arsonists,
we would definitely

455
00:15:39,895 --> 00:15:41,244
deny being arsonists.

456
00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:43,029
'Cause that would--
I'm not gonna talk anymore.

457
00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:44,987
Why would we burn down
our own gazebo?

458
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:46,902
Why would you burn down
your own canoe?

459
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,860
We had zero to do with this.Zero.

460
00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:50,993
This was 100% those kids.It was the kids.

461
00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:52,168
And frankly, we're
a little offended

462
00:15:52,212 --> 00:15:53,213
that you would even
accuse us

463
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:54,301
of something so heinous.

464
00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:55,824
A quick word if I may, Samantha.

465
00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:57,957
It wasn't the kids.
We lied.

466
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,175
We burned down the gazebo.

467
00:15:59,219 --> 00:16:01,351
So, okay, carry on.

468
00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:05,355
Although actually, it may
not have been the kids.

469
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:06,878
What?

470
00:16:06,922 --> 00:16:08,706
Yeah, it's sort of
coming to me now.

471
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:10,447
Gosh, this is embarrassing.

472
00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:12,101
Ma'am, what's going on?

473
00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:15,148
I had a cigarette earlier.

474
00:16:15,191 --> 00:16:17,933
I recently started
smoking again.

475
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,066
And I thought
I put it out,

476
00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:21,371
but now that I'm
thinking about it again,

477
00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:23,199
maybe it wasn't completely out.

478
00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:25,158
And you just
remembered this now?

479
00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:26,724
I didn't want Jay
to find out.

480
00:16:26,768 --> 00:16:28,988
And, uh, then the lies just
sort of started piling up

481
00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:32,034
on top of each other,
and then he called you guys.

482
00:16:32,078 --> 00:16:33,557
Okay, Jim, I think
we should wrap this up.

483
00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:35,342
Ma'am, if you have
any other problems,

484
00:16:35,385 --> 00:16:36,386
please lose our number.

485
00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:39,520
That's more than fair.
Thank you.

486
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:41,043
Sorry.You're smoking?

487
00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:42,175
You should be ashamed
of yourself.

488
00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:43,654
Jay, the ghosts
burned down the gazebo.

489
00:16:43,698 --> 00:16:45,439
What do you mean the ghosts
burned it down? How?

490
00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:48,050
I don't know, but
they are in big trouble.

491
00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:50,009
W-Well, what, can they shoot
lasers out of their eyes?

492
00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:52,011
That would be so cool.

493
00:16:52,054 --> 00:16:54,056
I mean terrifying,
but so cool!

494
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,843
Samantha, we want you
to know that

495
00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:00,932
we just feel terrible.ISAAC: Yes.

496
00:17:00,976 --> 00:17:02,325
And we would like to take
this opportunity

497
00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:03,935
to formally apologize

498
00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:05,502
for this evening's, um,

499
00:17:05,546 --> 00:17:08,027
you know what, let's call them
missteps, shall we?

500
00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:10,029
Because I think we all learned
a very valuable les...

501
00:17:10,072 --> 00:17:11,508
Shut it, Isaac.
Ooh. Yep.

502
00:17:11,552 --> 00:17:13,206
Tonight was unacceptable.

503
00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:16,122
You guys destroyed our property,
then lied about it,

504
00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:18,080
then tried to get
children arrested.

505
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,864
You're no wise council
of elders.

506
00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:21,344
You know what they are?

507
00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:22,867
They're the children
in this scenario.

508
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:23,955
Yes.Mm-hmm.

509
00:17:23,999 --> 00:17:26,045
Nuh-uh!It was Thor.
He started it.

510
00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:27,524
PETE:
Just so you know,

511
00:17:27,568 --> 00:17:28,917
not all of us were to blame.

512
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,092
I gave a big speech about
doing the right thing.

513
00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:32,051
It was very moving.Mm-hmm.

514
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:33,269
Someone started a slow-clap.

515
00:17:33,313 --> 00:17:34,401
I don't want to hear it.

516
00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:35,880
JAY:
You know what children need

517
00:17:35,924 --> 00:17:37,404
when they do something
wrong, babe?

518
00:17:37,447 --> 00:17:40,015
You give 'em consequences.

519
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,104
That's true, Jay.
I like that.

520
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:44,585
Small man using our
own words against us.

521
00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:46,021
Not loving where this is headed.

522
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,154
No TV, one week.

523
00:17:48,197 --> 00:17:49,633
[all gasp]But The Bakeoff!

524
00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:50,591
Oh, no!All of us?!

525
00:17:50,634 --> 00:17:52,506
It's football season.Come on!

526
00:17:52,549 --> 00:17:54,421
[others protesting]You guys did this. Come on!

527
00:17:57,424 --> 00:18:00,122
What's the latest?

528
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:01,602
Ooh, they left the rooftop,

529
00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:03,299
and now they're at
a warehouse party

530
00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:04,909
in the Meatpacking District.

531
00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:06,911
Oh, sounds fun.

532
00:18:06,955 --> 00:18:10,219
[yawns]Yeah. We would've
crushed that.

533
00:18:10,263 --> 00:18:14,484
Well, without storming off
or yelling and in all sincerity,

534
00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:17,096
I'm sorry you had
a lame Halloween.

535
00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:20,099
Yeah, that's the thing,
I didn't.

536
00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:21,839
What do you mean?

537
00:18:21,883 --> 00:18:25,016
Um, our gazebo got
burned down by ghosts

538
00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:28,846
on Halloween, in front
of our haunted house.

539
00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:31,588
We by far had the coolest
Halloween of all our friends.

540
00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:32,937
Really?

541
00:18:32,981 --> 00:18:34,113
Yeah. When we first
moved here from New York,

542
00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,940
I thought our lives
were gonna be boring

543
00:18:35,984 --> 00:18:38,291
and slow, but after tonight,

544
00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:42,121
turns out they're gonna
be anything but.

545
00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:44,384
You're okay stuck out here
alone with me?

546
00:18:44,427 --> 00:18:47,387
Hell yeah.
You're all I need.

547
00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:51,260
You're my stepbrother.

548
00:18:51,304 --> 00:18:53,523
SAMANTHA:
No, you're my stepbrother.

549
00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:55,438
HETTY:
Well, this is just disturbing.

550
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:56,483
ALBERTA:
Didn't you marry your cousin?

551
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,579
So, how are the ghosts
taking their punishment?

552
00:19:05,622 --> 00:19:07,276
They're not loving it.

553
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,496
Yeah, I wasn't stoked
on no TV either,

554
00:19:09,539 --> 00:19:11,585
but it's kind of peaceful.

555
00:19:11,628 --> 00:19:12,934
This is so unfair!Oh, come on!

556
00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:14,240
We did nothing wrong!

557
00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:15,589
I think they've learned
their lesson.

558
00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:17,199
Mm-mm, stay strong.

559
00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:19,201
Maybe we just put on
something educational.

560
00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:22,465
[all protesting, clamoring]

561
00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:32,388
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

562
00:19:32,432 --> 00:19:35,435
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org