1 00:00:04,604 --> 00:00:06,105 - Hey, hey, it's the monkees. 2 00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:08,340 - Hi, daddy. - Yay, daddy's home. 3 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,341 - Hey. 4 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:10,776 - How was chicago? 5 00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:12,511 - What are you saying, I'm cheating on you? 6 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,346 Is that it? 7 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,749 She means nothing! 8 00:00:16,751 --> 00:00:18,083 You missed me. 9 00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:20,019 - You missed all that fun stuff. 10 00:00:20,021 --> 00:00:22,287 - Daddy, what did you bring us? 11 00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:27,126 - I bring you? Um... 12 00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:31,030 All right, well, let's see. Got something. 13 00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:34,533 I brought you something. Okay. 14 00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:36,702 For michael, 15 00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:40,406 Some lovely apricot shampoo. 16 00:00:42,342 --> 00:00:44,209 Yeah. 17 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:49,548 For geoffrey, 18 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,316 Conditioner. 19 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,486 Mm. 20 00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:59,825 All imported from the enchanted isle of marriott. 21 00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:05,597 You having trouble getting your shoes on, ally? 22 00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:07,299 Not anymore. 23 00:01:08,668 --> 00:01:10,436 - Ray. 24 00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:13,405 - Don't worry, I didn't forget you, my darling. 25 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:16,175 For mommy, something as sweet as she is, 26 00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:19,711 Some fine candy. 27 00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:22,181 - Aww, the mints from your pillow. 28 00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:25,250 - Yeah, that's part of the hotel's turndown service. 29 00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:27,820 - Well, tonight you're gonna get my turndown service. 30 00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:34,393 - Well, I guess mommy doesn't want peanuts 31 00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:36,195 From the sky. 32 00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:43,669 - Hi, everybody. 33 00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:45,404 - Oh, there you are. 34 00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:47,106 - What took you so long? 35 00:01:47,108 --> 00:01:51,243 - Yeah, you're just coming from across the street. 36 00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:52,644 - Yeah, well, I got confused 37 00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:54,613 And went to where I wished you lived. 38 00:02:00,386 --> 00:02:02,154 - All right, they're here, let's do this. 39 00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:04,223 - Wait, wait, wait, what about the other guests? 40 00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:06,492 - What other guests? Everyone's here. 41 00:02:06,494 --> 00:02:08,861 Do you have the mortgage? - Yeah, here we go. 42 00:02:08,863 --> 00:02:11,630 I've been waiting 30 years to do this. 43 00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:17,703 - There you go. 44 00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:20,339 - There we go. - Ooh. 45 00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:22,174 yeah. 46 00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:23,175 - Oh-ho. 47 00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:24,176 - Yay. 48 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,881 - The house is now paid off. 49 00:02:28,883 --> 00:02:30,382 And here's to the wonderful people 50 00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:31,583 At lynbrook mortgage, 51 00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:33,152 Thanks for the calendars, 52 00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:36,455 And you can all kiss my great american ass. 53 00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,191 - Grandpa. Grandpa. 54 00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:41,860 - Oh, oh, sorry, kids. Don't say "ass." 55 00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:46,198 Hey, that was fun. - Yeah. 56 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,699 Let's have a real party. 57 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,735 Marie, go get our marriage license. 58 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:54,907 - You know, now that the place is all ours, 59 00:02:54,909 --> 00:02:56,575 I can't wait to redecorate 60 00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:58,477 And get rid of some of that old stuff. 61 00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:00,913 So long, frank. 62 00:03:00,915 --> 00:03:03,315 - All right. Can we eat, please? 63 00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:04,416 - Yeah, okay. Come on, kids. 64 00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:05,951 - Mom, dad, congratulations. 65 00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:08,253 The house becomes part of your estate, 66 00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:11,223 Which, in the old country, would be passed down 67 00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:13,926 To the firstborn son. 68 00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:17,329 - In the old country, you'd be working in the circus. 69 00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:23,569 - Monkey suit's coming off. 70 00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:25,270 - So, marie, what happened? 71 00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:27,573 I thought you were gonna have a big party to celebrate. 72 00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:29,942 - It is a party. I made bruschetta. 73 00:03:29,944 --> 00:03:32,744 - Oh, well, I thought when you said you were having a party, 74 00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:33,979 That would include-- 75 00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,447 I don't know, some friends. 76 00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,916 - Oh, who has time for friends? 77 00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:41,220 Have a deviled egg, dear. 78 00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:43,288 - What do you mean you don't have time for friends? 79 00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:45,791 - Well, after you and raymond moved in, 80 00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:48,994 I mean, I guess someone had to help you raise a family, 81 00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:50,429 So we had to give-- 82 00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:52,998 We just had to give up some things. 83 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,566 - Your social life? 84 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,301 - Well, we still have a social life. 85 00:04:00,506 --> 00:04:02,241 - Ma, robert's eating all the deviled egg, 86 00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:04,509 Won't give me any. 87 00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:07,379 - They don't feed us enough in the circus. 88 00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:09,448 - Yeah, ha. 89 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:19,791 - Hey, did my father give geoffrey some wine today? 90 00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,594 - No, why? 91 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,829 - 'cause I was putting him to bed, 92 00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:26,365 He said, "I love you, man." 93 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:35,574 Perhaps you would like some wine. 94 00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:39,044 - Hey, listen, you know what your mom told me at that party? 95 00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:42,648 They don't have any friends. 96 00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:45,617 - You sound surprised. 97 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:48,053 - Well, it's kind of sad. It's kind of sad. 98 00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:50,289 - Well, it's not sad for the people 99 00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:52,357 Who would have to be their friends. 100 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:57,296 - Except we have to be their friends. 101 00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:01,933 - That is a little sad. - Yeah. 102 00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:04,603 I mean, look, we're their whole lives. 103 00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:08,073 And it occurred to me that if they had more friends, 104 00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:10,609 We'd have less them. 105 00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:17,516 - Have you worked out a budget for this? 106 00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,551 - All right. Break it up. 107 00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:20,752 - Oh, what? What do you want? 108 00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:22,854 We just saw you. 109 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:25,991 - We just brought you some leftovers. 110 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:29,995 - They don't qualify as leftovers if they're still warm. 111 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,830 - Let's watch some highlights. 112 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,700 - Frank, you already watched this game. 113 00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:38,036 - So I know how good the highlights will be. 114 00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:41,340 Let's not ruin these by talking. 115 00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:47,979 So, gosh, marie, it must feel so liberating 116 00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:49,114 To own the house now, huh? 117 00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:50,649 - Yeah. 118 00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:52,451 - Gosh, think of all the things you can do now, 119 00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:54,553 Like, gosh, you could entertain more. 120 00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,021 - Hey, we just had a party. 121 00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:58,390 What are we, studio 54? 122 00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:04,663 - But, really, you deserve your own social life, you know? 123 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:07,065 Especially now that all your house obligations are over 124 00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,600 And we seem to be managing. 125 00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,068 - Mm-hmm. 126 00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:12,771 - Now might be the perfect time for you to just say, 127 00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,773 "hi, neighbor." 128 00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:22,013 - I got all the friends I need right here. 129 00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,715 - You see, debra? 130 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,051 I mean, I would love to start entertaining again, 131 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,519 But if we have guests, 132 00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,621 What am I supposed to do with this? 133 00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:33,859 - Tell them that you lost a bet 134 00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:36,161 And you got to clean and feed him for another year. 135 00:06:42,668 --> 00:06:46,705 - Come on, we all know that frank can be a lot of fun. 136 00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:49,007 Hey, you know who else is a lot of fun? 137 00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:50,509 The mauers next door. - Mm-hmm. 138 00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:51,877 - I like the mauers, yeah. - Yes. 139 00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:54,045 - No can do. 140 00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:55,447 - Well, why not? 141 00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:57,149 - Because I may or may not 142 00:06:57,151 --> 00:07:00,152 Recently have flipped one of them the bird. 143 00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:05,090 What? 144 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:09,194 He was trying to put a piece of garbage in our garbage can. 145 00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:12,931 - Well, that's no reason to flip them a bird. 146 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:16,134 - Hey, I can't have the garbage man thinking I dye my hair. 147 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:22,207 - Oh, so then all that is natural. 148 00:07:26,512 --> 00:07:29,514 - Hey, you know who's cool? The stipes. 149 00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:31,583 - Yes, the stipes. - Yeah. 150 00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:33,518 - Who? - You remember. 151 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,988 The--those old, nice people that robert lived with 152 00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,890 The first time he moved out? 153 00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:41,092 Yeah, if they're still alive, they're very friendly. 154 00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:45,497 - I ran into the husband in a hardware store, 155 00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:46,965 He's actually not a jerk. 156 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,600 - Well, see, it sounds like you guys 157 00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,168 Would have a blast together. 158 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:51,803 - Really, probably would. 159 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:54,072 - But what are we supposed to do with these stipes? 160 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,541 - I don't know, you could... 161 00:07:56,543 --> 00:08:00,612 Invite them over for dinner or drinks. 162 00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:03,081 - You could play "guess what I forgot." 163 00:08:15,127 --> 00:08:17,696 - What about a board game? 164 00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:20,198 - Yes, yes, a board game, great idea. 165 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,634 - Oh, that's a good idea, debra. 166 00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:25,237 Frank, we're having company. 167 00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:28,006 - They better like swearing. 168 00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:34,913 - Well, what should we do? Should we call them? 169 00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,848 - Only as soon as possible. 170 00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:39,584 - You know who has their number? 171 00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:41,253 Robert, who lives in your house right now. 172 00:08:41,255 --> 00:08:44,289 - Oh, I have so many menu ideas. 173 00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:45,790 - Yeah, we're all very excited. 174 00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:46,925 Out of the chair, dad. 175 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,260 - Yeah, hey. - Come on. 176 00:08:48,262 --> 00:08:49,861 - I just want to watch-- 177 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,563 - Yeah, well, go outside. Mom's outside. 178 00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:53,131 You're gonna go play with your new friends. 179 00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,300 Here he comes. There he goes. 180 00:08:59,805 --> 00:09:02,007 Yeah. 181 00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:03,742 I know that dance, 182 00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:08,013 That's the "I want to have sex with ray" dance. 183 00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:12,984 And here's my "if you insist" dance. 184 00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:14,886 What are you-- don't laugh. 185 00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:18,957 - Mmm. - Heh, this is fun. 186 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:20,725 This is like a date. 187 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:24,129 - Yeah, except on a date, you never got to level two. 188 00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,232 Come on. Come on. 189 00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,767 - Mmm. - Come on. 190 00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:29,768 Okay. All right. 191 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:30,902 - Hi, dears! 192 00:09:32,639 --> 00:09:33,672 - Come on, move over. 193 00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:35,340 - You remember the stipes. 194 00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,576 - See, harry? I told you he was home. 195 00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:38,577 - Yeah. 196 00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:41,246 - How may we help you? 197 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:43,181 - You know, harry's a big fan of your column, 198 00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:46,618 And he wouldn't let up until we swung by to say hello. 199 00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:47,619 - Hello. 200 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,256 - So, listen, it's so nice to see you, 201 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,857 Thanks for dropping by. 202 00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:54,726 - Hey, ray, I told harry you would let him 203 00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:56,795 See tomorrow's column today. 204 00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,263 - Yeah, you know what I'd really like, 205 00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,665 If you'd tell me tomorrow's scores. 206 00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:02,701 Yeah, then I could make some bets. 207 00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:09,341 - Mom, what are you doing? Why'd you bring 'em here? 208 00:10:09,343 --> 00:10:12,143 - Well, they wanted to see you. 209 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:15,113 - Well, yeah, but debra and I, we were--happy. 210 00:10:16,716 --> 00:10:17,849 - Just five minutes, okay? 211 00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:19,351 - Well, no, ma. No. No. No. 212 00:10:19,353 --> 00:10:22,153 - Why are you making such a big fuss over it? 213 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:24,089 Our friends wanted to see you. 214 00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:26,992 - I want them to see you. 215 00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:29,094 - All right. Okay. 216 00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:31,096 I'm sorry. 217 00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:34,199 I'm sorry people like you so much. 218 00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:36,935 I'm sorry that I'm proud of you. 219 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:40,138 I'm sorry that I raised you to be a nice boy. 220 00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:47,045 Five minutes. 221 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:49,381 - Okay. Okay. 222 00:10:49,383 --> 00:10:52,784 - I tell you, ray, you got the life. 223 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:55,253 - Yeah. - Sportswriter. 224 00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:57,322 You get to go to different places, 225 00:10:57,324 --> 00:11:00,692 Meet famous athletes. 226 00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:02,327 - Yeah, well, yeah, there could be worse jobs. 227 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,329 - Hey, ray? - Yeah. 228 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,364 - Hey, tell 'em who you met the other day. 229 00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:07,999 - Come on, dad. - Who did you meet? 230 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,134 - Yeah, who? - No, no, come on. 231 00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:10,669 Tell them, it's funny. 232 00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:12,671 - Nothing, evander holyfield sat next to me. 233 00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:15,240 - Holy-- - evander holyfield. 234 00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:18,043 My boy and evander holyfield. 235 00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:20,111 - He's a boxer. - Oh. 236 00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:23,281 - Uh, try to keep up. 237 00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:25,083 Sorry. 238 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:27,352 - So--so what happened? 239 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:29,854 - You know, I just-- I said, 240 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,790 "hey, how you doing?" 241 00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:33,324 He said, "great." you know? 242 00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:34,893 Yeah, he's a good guy. He's a good guy. 243 00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,094 - Wait, you talked to him? 244 00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:37,729 - Yeah, sure. Sure. 245 00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:39,698 You know, like, "good fight, huh?" 246 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:40,799 That kind of thing. 247 00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,267 - Yeah, oh. - Yeah, yeah. 248 00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:45,270 - wow. That's a terrific story. 249 00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:46,271 Yeah. - Yeah. 250 00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:48,106 - Okay, so-- 251 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:50,375 - Hey, dad, how about the time I took you to the all-star game? 252 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:51,976 - Yeah. Press box. 253 00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:53,278 oh, you lucky bastard. 254 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:55,280 - Oh-ho. 255 00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:57,348 Our son would love this, 256 00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:59,451 He's a regular sports nut. 257 00:11:59,453 --> 00:12:00,952 - Yeah, listen, listen. 258 00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:02,387 So I was coming back from the bathroom, 259 00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:03,922 And I see my father standing there, 260 00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:05,390 And I don't know what I'm thinking, 261 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:06,925 But I sneak up behind him 262 00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:08,426 And I kind of goose him a little, you know? 263 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:09,994 Yeah. 264 00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:11,296 He turns around, 265 00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:13,164 I goosed joe garagiola. 266 00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:20,205 - 'cause from behind, I look like joe garagiola. 267 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,476 - Oh. - Yeah, ray? 268 00:12:24,478 --> 00:12:26,044 - Yeah, yeah. He's a good guy too. 269 00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,779 Joe's a good guy. Yeah. 270 00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:28,880 - Oh, isn't this fun? 271 00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:30,348 I'm so glad you came over. 272 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,951 - Oh, we are, too. - Yeah, well, us too. Us too. 273 00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:35,019 - Oh, hey, chinese here. What do we got? 274 00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:37,789 Hey, deb, get some forks. 275 00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,457 - You know what would be nice is some tea. 276 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:40,525 I'll make some tea. - Oh. 277 00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:42,227 - I wouldn't mind some tea. 278 00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:44,062 - Hey, you know who used to like tea? 279 00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:45,363 Joe dimaggio. - No. 280 00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:47,432 - That's right. Mr. Coffee. 281 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,768 - there, mr. Coffee. 282 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:50,969 And you know what? 283 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,203 You know who used to like coffee? 284 00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:53,204 Mr. T. 285 00:13:05,818 --> 00:13:07,519 Hey, swizzle. - Hey, don't get comfortable. 286 00:13:07,521 --> 00:13:09,487 The stipes are over visiting your parents again. 287 00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:11,222 We got to get out of here in case they decide 288 00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:13,024 To drop back over. 289 00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:14,993 - Well, what about the kids? 290 00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:16,261 - Well, robert's babysitting. 291 00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:18,163 - Oh, do we have to go? I just got home. 292 00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:19,464 I'm tired. Can't we just hide? 293 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,266 - No, no, no. 294 00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:24,035 Don't unbutton your shirt. Stop it, stop it, stop it. 295 00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:28,573 - You don't know that they're definitely gonna come over. 296 00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:30,308 - Yeah, you'd probably love it if they did, 297 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,110 You could do a revival of your one-man show, 298 00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:35,413 "my fair raymond." 299 00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,882 - Hey, I was trying to help out. 300 00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:39,217 That's why I got stuck there, 301 00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:40,819 And where'd you disappear to anyway? 302 00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:43,321 - I was in bed. It was midnight. 303 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,323 You don't even have an intermission. 304 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,558 - What? What, do you-- 305 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:49,127 What, you think I liked that? Come on. 306 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:51,296 Those stipes smell like the attic. 307 00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:55,300 - Hey, where's the candy? The kids want some candy. 308 00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:57,836 - The kids know they're not supposed to have candy at night. 309 00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:59,470 - Okay. 310 00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:01,339 I want candy. 311 00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:07,278 - It's on top of the fridge, robert. 312 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,180 Come on, come on, button up. We got to get going. 313 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,849 We'll call you from the restaurant. 314 00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:12,450 - So, hey, ray, how come you're not going over 315 00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:16,054 To see your new best friends, the stipes, huh? 316 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:18,056 Mom was just going on and on about it, 317 00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:19,891 How they loved your stories. 318 00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:20,892 - See, ray? 319 00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,327 - I was being polite. 320 00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:25,096 - You know they were my friends first. 321 00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,431 They would've loved my stories too. 322 00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,299 I just happened to be in a sitz bath 323 00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:29,901 When they came over. 324 00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:31,402 - All right. Robert, we won't be late. 325 00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:32,503 Come on. We got to go. 326 00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:33,938 - I'm not hungry. Come on. 327 00:14:33,940 --> 00:14:35,473 I had banana splits at the office. 328 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:39,043 - You get banana splits at the office? 329 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:42,247 - You can just have appetizers, all right, you-- 330 00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:43,948 - What? What? 331 00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:45,516 - There he is. 332 00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:47,218 - Where have you been? 333 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,453 - All right, don't get sucked in, 334 00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:49,888 We're going out, you understand? 335 00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:51,122 Hi. 336 00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:53,958 - There he is, the man of the hour. 337 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:54,993 - Hi. 338 00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:56,160 - Did you get a haircut? 339 00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,896 No, I just-- I combed it today. 340 00:14:57,898 --> 00:14:59,530 there he goes. 341 00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:00,965 - Raymond, 342 00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:04,102 I want you to meet our son, seth. 343 00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:06,037 - Ray barone, finally we meet. 344 00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:07,505 - Hey, how you doing? 345 00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:09,407 - I'm a big fan of yours. - Well, thank you. 346 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,276 - We have very similar writing styles. 347 00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:13,678 - Seth's a sportswriter too. - Oh. 348 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,947 - Well, mostly in internet chat rooms, 349 00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:19,484 And I call in to all the sports radio shows. 350 00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:20,685 You've probably heard me. 351 00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:23,454 Seth from massapequa? 352 00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:25,056 - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 353 00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,524 Great, man, that's great. Good for you. 354 00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:28,326 Listen, we were kind of on our way out, right? 355 00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:29,661 - Yes. Yes. 356 00:15:29,663 --> 00:15:31,329 - Wait, wait, wait. Where are you going? 357 00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:32,931 - We're just going out to dinner, 358 00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,532 But you guys make yourself at home, you know. 359 00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:36,601 Marie knows where everything is. 360 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:39,604 She put it there, so-- - yeah. 361 00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,105 - Hey, I read your column today, 362 00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,573 Great, just great. 363 00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:44,943 - Hey, harry says you're better than lupica. 364 00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,978 - Oh, well, thank you. Thank you. 365 00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:48,680 - I love your baseball stuff. 366 00:15:48,682 --> 00:15:49,948 - Thanks. - Thanks. 367 00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:51,149 - Except you could be 368 00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:53,718 A little more objective about the mets. 369 00:15:55,421 --> 00:15:57,255 - What do you--what? - Ray, ray. 370 00:15:57,257 --> 00:16:00,058 - You seem to have a real axe to grind there. 371 00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:02,193 - Well... 372 00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:04,028 Wait, listen, you understand that they pay me 373 00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:07,098 To write my opinions, not to be objective. 374 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:10,268 You know, I find that, in sports writing, 375 00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:12,403 If you pull your punches, 376 00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,238 You're gonna end up the one getting hit. 377 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:18,076 - Oh. Now, that's a pro, son. 378 00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:20,712 That's why you're still on that internet. 379 00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:23,614 - Hey. I bow to the master. 380 00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:25,350 - Ray... 381 00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:27,018 - Hey, rita, harry. 382 00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:28,553 Sorry I missed you last night. 383 00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:32,123 - Hey, rodney. So-- 384 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:34,459 Ray, tell seth that story you were telling us 385 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:37,362 About the squirrel that ran up your leg at the king dome. 386 00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,364 - Oh, that was so funny. 387 00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:42,533 - Ah, you told them the squirrel story, huh, ray? 388 00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:45,737 Yeah, isn't that chuck wilson's story? 389 00:16:45,739 --> 00:16:47,238 - That's not chuck wilson's story. 390 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,474 - yes, it is. Yeah. 391 00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:52,043 - It's not. 392 00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:55,346 - I'll tell you a story. 393 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:59,684 I was recently gored by a bull 394 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:04,355 Which is about 2,000 times larger than a squirrel. 395 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,524 You see, they were having an illegal rodeo-- 396 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,593 - Oh, here it is. 397 00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:10,595 Raymond, would you mind? 398 00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:12,096 - What, you want to take my picture? 399 00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:14,499 - Yes. - Okay, yeah. 400 00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:16,234 - Here. 401 00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:19,370 Rodney, would you mind getting a picture of all of us? 402 00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,142 - Why would I mind? 403 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,677 Add a little insult to my injury. 404 00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:29,147 - I want to get in on this. Come on, frank. 405 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,581 - I'm in, but I'd better sit down, 406 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:34,052 Unless you want to get a shot of my garagiola. 407 00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:36,754 - This is phenomenal. I'm posting this on my web site. 408 00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:38,689 - Hey, you got us in focus there? 409 00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:40,091 - I sure do. 410 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,794 Everybody, say "raymond." 411 00:17:42,796 --> 00:17:45,296 Raymond. 412 00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:50,334 - Beautiful. - Yeah. 413 00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:53,337 Hey, where's deb? 414 00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:54,672 - I heard the garage door. 415 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:55,706 - Oh, no. 416 00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:58,342 - Oh, raymond, stay with us. 417 00:17:58,344 --> 00:18:00,745 You can see her anytime. 418 00:18:04,483 --> 00:18:06,117 - Hey, hey, hey, where you going? 419 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,151 - I'm going to eat. 420 00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:08,252 I would ask you to come along, 421 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:09,587 But I see you have a girlfriend 422 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,456 And three boyfriends and another girlfriend. 423 00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:12,723 Oh, come on. Look, it's okay. 424 00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:14,459 They said I could see other people. 425 00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:15,827 Okay, all right, I'm sorry, stop. 426 00:18:15,829 --> 00:18:17,495 - You have a problem. - Give me your keys. 427 00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,397 You can't drive in this condition. 428 00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:20,665 What-- 429 00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,834 Come on, I don't have a problem. 430 00:18:22,836 --> 00:18:24,335 - This can't keep happening, ray. 431 00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:26,104 You have a sick connection to your parents. 432 00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:27,538 Do you understand that? It is sick. 433 00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,273 - All right. We've already been over that. 434 00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:30,808 - Yeah, but you're worse now. 435 00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:32,810 You don't get enough attention from your parents, 436 00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,679 So you have to get an extra set? You're sick. 437 00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:36,647 - Okay, I won't do it anymore. Come on, I'm sorry-- 438 00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:39,517 Come on, let's go. We'll sneak out. 439 00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:40,518 We'll go eat. 440 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,121 - Hi, dears. 441 00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:44,822 - Hi. - What's going on? 442 00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:46,357 - Hi. No, nothing. 443 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:48,292 - Everything all right? - Fine. Yeah. Yeah. 444 00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:50,895 Did you find that aaa booklet you're looking for there, debra? 445 00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:53,831 - You're sick! 446 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,900 - All right. Keep looking. 447 00:18:55,902 --> 00:18:59,370 Listen, you know, I think you and the stipes 448 00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:01,439 Should go to your house maybe for the rest of the night 449 00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,407 'cause debra and I, we made plans to go out and eat. 450 00:19:03,409 --> 00:19:04,909 - Oh, I know, I know, but couldn't you just 451 00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:06,444 Spend a few minutes with us? 452 00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:08,479 I mean, you hardly talked to seth at all. 453 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,414 - Well, ma, I don't even know seth, okay? 454 00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:11,516 I don't even know the stipes. 455 00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:13,384 The stipes are your friends. 456 00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:15,686 Why don't you just go and be with your friends? 457 00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,488 - Because we need you, raymond. 458 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,490 - Well, what do you mean, you need me? 459 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,393 Why? Dad's in there, he's funny. 460 00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:25,329 - No, he's not. 461 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,832 Couldn't you come in for just a few minutes? 462 00:19:30,936 --> 00:19:32,770 - No, no, no. 463 00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,672 Ma, it's enough, please. It's enough. 464 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,274 - Okay, okay. - Yeah. 465 00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:38,609 - It's fine. I understand. 466 00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:41,612 It's just that I-- I like to see you with them 467 00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:45,383 Because, you know, I don't get to see you like that anymore. 468 00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:46,784 - What? Like what? 469 00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:48,886 - Well, when you come over to the house now, 470 00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:51,422 It's just to eat or watch a game, 471 00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:56,427 And it's different to see you excited when you're talking. 472 00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:58,663 I like it. 473 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,207 Okay. 474 00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:12,643 Guess we should all go back inside. 475 00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:14,512 - Really? Yeah? 476 00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:15,646 Okay. I guess it's okay. 477 00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:18,449 - Oh, you're such a good son. 478 00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:20,718 Thank you, honey. - Mm-hmm. 479 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,687 - He's coming back. 480 00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:27,892 - Got to give the people what they want. 481 00:20:30,262 --> 00:20:32,663 - A common misconception is that a bull 482 00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:35,233 Will charge when shown the color red. 483 00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:36,701 Actually, it's motion-- 484 00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:39,904 - Uh, ray. Thank god. 485 00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,539 Uh, here. Have a seat. 486 00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:43,341 - Hey, no time for that, harry. We got to go. 487 00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:44,508 We're gonna be late. 488 00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:45,676 - Oh, yeah. You're right. 489 00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:46,777 - Late for what? 490 00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:48,312 - We're taking your parents 491 00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:52,717 To the big senior jamboree at the v.F.W. 492 00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:54,885 - Wow. A senior jamboree. 493 00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:56,787 Well, that's perfect. That's perfect for you. 494 00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:58,022 Ma, you'll have fun. 495 00:20:58,024 --> 00:20:59,624 You go, you'll have fun. Go ahead. 496 00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:02,493 - You should go too, ray. 497 00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:03,728 - What? 498 00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:05,329 - Yeah, you were just telling your mom 499 00:21:05,331 --> 00:21:07,365 That you wanted to spend more time with them. 500 00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:08,766 - Yeah, come on with us, ray. 501 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:12,603 They're giving free eye tests tonight. 502 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:13,871 - No, no. I mean, look, no. 503 00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:15,339 We wanted to go out to eat you know? 504 00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:16,807 Right? So, no. 505 00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:20,911 - But you got to give the people what they want. 506 00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:23,347 - Come on, raymond. There'll be refreshments. 507 00:21:23,349 --> 00:21:24,548 Come on, come on. 508 00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:25,783 how bad is this thing? 509 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:27,285 - Sounds like a nightmare to me. 510 00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:29,320 I'm not going. 511 00:21:29,322 --> 00:21:31,289 - Bye-bye. 512 00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:33,724 - I hope you like dancing, raymond. 513 00:21:38,330 --> 00:21:39,664 - Chinese? 514 00:21:39,666 --> 00:21:40,831 - Love it.