1 00:00:01,701 --> 00:00:03,235 Dad, we need to talk. 2 00:00:03,236 --> 00:00:05,804 - Is it about the bees? - Bees? 3 00:00:05,805 --> 00:00:08,574 We're throwing a housewarming party in two weeks. 4 00:00:08,575 --> 00:00:10,743 - Oh. - It's gonna be friends, neighbors. 5 00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:12,978 - Did he say- Did he say bees? - Yeah. 6 00:00:12,979 --> 00:00:16,482 Anyway, Marshall's been working very long hours lately... 7 00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:20,319 so I have been planning this whole party by myself, and everything's in place- 8 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,054 the food, the wine. 9 00:00:22,055 --> 00:00:24,723 I even found a rare Gouda on the lnternet. 10 00:00:24,724 --> 00:00:26,825 - Ah. - Getting back to these bees. 11 00:00:26,826 --> 00:00:29,895 Bottom line- this party is very important to me. 12 00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:33,499 So I can only assume- and I say this with love- 13 00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:35,968 you're gonna ruin it. 14 00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:38,504 Lily, I promise I won't ruin your party. 15 00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:41,807 I'll be charming and convivial. A regular Burt Reynolds. 16 00:00:41,808 --> 00:00:44,910 - You have absolutely nothing to worry- - Tell us about the bees! 17 00:00:44,911 --> 00:00:47,146 Well, all right, since you asked. 18 00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:51,684 I'm starting up a business cultivating all-organic, artisanal honey. 19 00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,953 That's right. I'm a job creator. 20 00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:56,021 - Oh. - So this party- 21 00:00:56,022 --> 00:01:01,427 No, Lily, wait. Um, if you don't mind, I have one follow-up. 22 00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:03,295 Where are you doing this exactly? 23 00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:07,846 Downstairs. There's 10,000 bees in the basement. 24 00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:10,601 25 00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:14,672 26 00:01:19,279 --> 00:01:21,113 27 00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:23,549 - Why would you even say that? That's the most ridic- - [Shouting] 28 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,317 [Together] Happy housewarming! 29 00:01:25,318 --> 00:01:27,219 - Hey, guys. - Hey. 30 00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:30,322 Robin here spent all day learning how to make kugel. 31 00:01:30,323 --> 00:01:32,658 Couldn't figure it out. This is from Zabar's. 32 00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:36,528 - Can we heat it up in your oven? - Faster than heating it up in the refrigerator. 33 00:01:36,529 --> 00:01:38,697 - I've had a few cocktails. - [Ted] Yeah. 34 00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:41,360 - I've got it. - Take that. 35 00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:44,269 [Ted Narrating] Kids, some day you're gonna throw a party... 36 00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:47,840 and you might find yourself worrying that something's gonna go wrong. 37 00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,241 Well, don 't. 38 00:01:49,242 --> 00:01:53,145 What you should worry about is everything going wrong. 39 00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:57,016 And what's really scary is how quickly that can happen. 40 00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:59,451 At Lily and Marshall's housewarming party, for instance- 41 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:02,921 - [Beeping] - it only took five minutes. 42 00:02:02,922 --> 00:02:05,357 Now, a lot happened in those five minutes. 43 00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:07,993 You know what? I'm gonna take this room by room. 44 00:02:07,994 --> 00:02:10,829 - [Beeps] - We'll start in the living room. 45 00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:13,640 46 00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:15,701 Oh, no. That's not what you want. 47 00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:17,136 - What? - Oh, nothing. 48 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,971 So you think this is going pretty well? 49 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,539 Baby, are you kidding? 50 00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:22,574 You single-handedly pulled off the party of the year. 51 00:02:22,575 --> 00:02:25,244 Oh, stop it. I used both hands. 52 00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:26,712 [Chuckles] So what can I do to help? 53 00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:29,748 Honey, this is your first night off in however long. 54 00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:32,584 You just relax and keep knocking back those cocktails. 55 00:02:32,585 --> 00:02:34,019 [Laughs] Mr. Cootes. 56 00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:35,254 Hey, isn't it nice... 57 00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:36,522 to finally have a night off? 58 00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:38,924 It is. But tonight is not that night. 59 00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:41,360 Uh, we're going back to the office in 45 minutes. 60 00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:43,429 But, sir, this is our housewarming party. 61 00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:46,265 You know, Mother Earth is also having... 62 00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:48,500 a housewarming party too. 63 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:52,371 Only hers ends in humankind at the bottom of a rising ocean... 64 00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:56,008 passing through the digestive tract of a sting ray. 65 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,844 By the way, it's a lovely home. 66 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,080 Mr. Cootes, I know you're a vegan... 67 00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:05,384 so I got some vegan spring rolls for you over there. 68 00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:07,885 Oh, nummies! 69 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,155 You're going back to work? 70 00:03:10,156 --> 00:03:13,025 Geez, Marshall, you are as busy as a- 71 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:16,095 Oh, gosh. What are you as busy as? 72 00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:17,796 Please don't talk about the bees. 73 00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:21,433 I was gonna say Nicolas Cage. That guy is in everything. 74 00:03:21,434 --> 00:03:24,154 Let's just put on some music. 75 00:03:27,006 --> 00:03:29,541 - - I'll bring out the Gouda. 76 00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,743 We'll open a couple bottles of wine... 77 00:03:31,744 --> 00:03:33,312 that are in the basement. 78 00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:35,414 All right. I'll get my beekeeper's suit. 79 00:03:35,415 --> 00:03:37,116 You should be happy about the bees. 80 00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,517 They're keeping the mice at bay. 81 00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:39,685 We have mice? 82 00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:41,386 Not with all these bees flying around, we don't. 83 00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:43,887 You're welcome. 84 00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:49,268 Ted, baby Gouda's coming out. Look alive. 85 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:54,967 - Are you a vegan? - What? 86 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:57,664 - Ooh-whee! - Kitchen. Now! 87 00:03:57,737 --> 00:03:59,738 What? 88 00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:02,474 I can't believe that he's making us go to work tonight. 89 00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:06,036 Are... you... a... vegan? 90 00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:08,113 Um, no. 91 00:04:08,114 --> 00:04:12,651 Uh-huh. And when you were shoveling the spring rolls down your gullet... 92 00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:16,155 did you happen to notice a little sign next to the plate marked "Vegan"? 93 00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:17,789 I- I think there's been some mistake. 94 00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:20,926 You could've had anything on that table! 95 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:23,427 Anything at all! 96 00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:25,230 Mini pizzas. 97 00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:27,399 Bacon-wrapped figs. Pigs in blankets. 98 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,635 There was even talk of an inbound Gouda. 99 00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:31,370 But no, no. 100 00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:34,773 You had to have the one thing that someone with my dietary preferences can eat! 101 00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:37,075 Look, I didn't eat the spring rolls. 102 00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:38,610 Liar! 103 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:43,061 Your breath reeks of shredded carrots and deceit! 104 00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:48,287 Okay, okay. Maybe I did eat your precious spring rolls. 105 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:52,816 - Ohh. - What are you gonna do about it, hippie? 106 00:04:52,892 --> 00:04:56,828 - [Woman Screams] - It's fine. Everything's fine. 107 00:04:56,829 --> 00:04:59,627 Young man- [Deep Breath] 108 00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:02,201 are you suggesting fisticuffs? 109 00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:05,370 - As in with our fists? - And feet. 110 00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:07,172 I'm a kicker. 111 00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:08,574 Well, well. 112 00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:12,678 Looks like I just started eating white meat again. 113 00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:17,082 I will bite and scratch you like a wolverine. 114 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,518 May I warn you... 115 00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:21,887 I have been in a fight before. 116 00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:24,388 So have l, sort of. 117 00:05:25,191 --> 00:05:27,593 Oh, God. 118 00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:29,328 Oh, Mr. Cootes? 119 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:33,098 Hi. Did you see that we had hummus and veggies? 120 00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:35,667 - There's hummus and veggies? - Over there. 121 00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:38,270 Hey, I'm not gonna let that guy push me around! 122 00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,739 I believe it was Sun Tzu who wrote... 123 00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:42,608 "Never give up. Never surrender." 124 00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:44,042 - Shut up, Ted. - Okay. 125 00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:47,533 For God's sake, Lily. You're pregnant. 126 00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:53,068 [Grunts] For God's sake, Ted. Lily's pregnant. 127 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,921 [Grunts] 128 00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:57,356 Oh, man. 129 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,224 Sorry about that. 130 00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:00,892 I don't need this right now, Ted. 131 00:06:00,893 --> 00:06:02,794 I shouldn't do this. 132 00:06:02,795 --> 00:06:04,129 - I shouldn't do this. - What? 133 00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:07,366 This is a bad idea. This is a bad idea. 134 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:10,135 - What is? - I should just go. I should just go! 135 00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:12,771 Okay, okay. Just tell me what is going on. 136 00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:15,297 I love my penis, Robin. 137 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,643 Barney, you promised! 138 00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:20,012 I do! I love it! 139 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,447 If I could kiss it, I would! 140 00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:25,117 I'd be lying if I told you I hadn't tried. 141 00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:27,252 I'm not comfortable with this conversation. 142 00:06:27,253 --> 00:06:30,689 Oh, come on, Robin! It's my penis we're talking about. 143 00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:32,791 You've seen her. She's magnificent! 144 00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:35,294 - "She"? - Every penis is a girl, Robin. 145 00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:37,029 Everyone knows that. 146 00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:41,262 Like ships and lake monsters. 147 00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,168 And Gouda! 148 00:06:43,169 --> 00:06:46,338 - She's a "beaut-a." - Ooh, Gouda. 149 00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:48,607 Well, I'll be back. 150 00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:51,372 Most of me anyway. 151 00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,712 Don't eat that. Whoops. 152 00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:57,482 - Oh! It's ruined! - It's not ruined. Ten-second rule. 153 00:06:57,483 --> 00:07:00,319 Eight, nine, 10. And it's ruined. 154 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:02,820 This whole party's ruined. 155 00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:05,290 I got a basement full of bees... 156 00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:07,659 and Ted almost got into a fight with Mr. Cootes. 157 00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:10,529 Lily, look around. Everyone's having an amazing time. 158 00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:12,097 It's a great party. 159 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:16,001 - [Timer Beeping] - Okay. Maybe it's not a total disaster. 160 00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:18,596 [Screaming] 161 00:07:18,671 --> 00:07:20,772 [Man] I'm burning for you 162 00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:23,273 What the hell was that? 163 00:07:27,413 --> 00:07:29,381 [Screaming] 164 00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:31,683 [Ted Narrating] So that's what happened in the living room. 165 00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:33,085 [Beeps] 166 00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:35,554 Now I'm gonna tell you what happened in the dining room. 167 00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:37,155 168 00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:40,246 Oh, no. That's not what you want. 169 00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:43,628 Man, I can't believe these are vegan! 170 00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:47,165 - I've had like 20 of 'em! - I should get the name of this caterer. 171 00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:49,801 It's my kitten's bat mitzvah next week. 172 00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:51,903 She's finally becoming a cat. 173 00:07:51,904 --> 00:07:56,273 Oh, God, you are crazy... about cats. 174 00:07:56,342 --> 00:07:59,745 Cats are so honest and real with their affections. 175 00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:02,781 Ever since my divorce, it's been one liar after another. 176 00:08:02,782 --> 00:08:06,685 That's why it's so refreshing to meet someone honest like you... 177 00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:09,020 Special Agent Gary Powers. 178 00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:14,051 Listen, I think we can agree... there's something here. 179 00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:16,161 Something big... 180 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:19,928 that looks and probably feels real. 181 00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:24,002 Maybe we can go back to your place? 182 00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:27,239 I can't ask you to delay intercepting those asteroids. 183 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,608 I do need to intercept those asteroids. 184 00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:32,344 - I think we need to have sex right now. - Y- 185 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:35,547 Meet me in the upstairs guest bedroom in two minutes. 186 00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:38,449 - [Chuckles] - [Laughing] 187 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,819 I'm just looking for the vegan spring rolls. 188 00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:43,054 - Last one. Sorry. - Two minutes. 189 00:08:43,055 --> 00:08:45,190 - Mmm. - How can they all be gone? 190 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,225 - The party just started. - I know, right? 191 00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:49,946 Let's just put on some music. 192 00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:53,532 - - I'll bring out the Gouda. 193 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:57,302 We'll open a couple bottles of wine... that are in the basement. 194 00:08:57,303 --> 00:08:59,938 Some jerk was just here, and he was all, like... 195 00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:02,774 "l can't believe these are vegan! I've had like 20 of 'em!" 196 00:09:02,775 --> 00:09:05,944 Point me into the direction of this scoundrel. 197 00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:08,641 Um, it was that guy. 198 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:12,524 Ted, baby Gouda's coming out. Look alive. 199 00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:16,469 Lily, these spring rolls? Ooh-whee! 200 00:09:16,522 --> 00:09:19,022 Kitchen. Now. 201 00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:22,060 I can't believe that he's making us go to work tonight. 202 00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:26,097 It's time somebody took him aside and told him this is not how you treat your staff. 203 00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:29,868 - Well, I'm sort of busy with the party right now. - Fine. I'll do it myself. 204 00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:33,138 But he's gonna scream at me, and you know that I can't stand up to screaming. 205 00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:37,739 - Just go talk to him! - I should go talk to him. 206 00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:41,680 - Barney. - Oh, Lily. Ted ate all the spring rolls. 207 00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:44,483 You could've had anything on that table! 208 00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:47,612 Mini pizzas. Bacon-wrapped figs. 209 00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:51,490 Pigs in blankets. There was even talk of an inbound Gouda. 210 00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:53,325 Robin! Okay, listen. I need your help. 211 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,627 I'm about to get in a screaming match with my boss... 212 00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:58,697 and I'm not good at being screamed at, so I need you to warm me up. 213 00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:01,099 - How? - I want you to scream at me. 214 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:04,002 You know, like you do to strangers on the street at the slightest provocation. 215 00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:06,004 - [Scoffs] I don't do that. - Come on! 216 00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:08,940 Lay some of that classic Scherbatsky mean son of a bitch on me. 217 00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:11,142 Treat me like I'm a Girl Scout trying to sell you cookies. 218 00:10:11,143 --> 00:10:14,379 Four dollars a box and you're out of Thin Mints? You green little- 219 00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:16,147 I don't do that. 220 00:10:16,148 --> 00:10:18,149 Come on! Scream at me. 221 00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:19,751 - [Woman Screams] - Like that. 222 00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:21,620 It's fine. Everything's fine. 223 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:25,524 Marshall, there is plenty of stuff I don't get mad about. 224 00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:28,093 [Chuckles] Like the fact that you're serving pigs in blankets... 225 00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:30,028 without hot mustard. 226 00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:33,031 I'm not the type of person to be driven crazy by a host... 227 00:10:33,032 --> 00:10:35,534 who refuses to provide delicious hot mustard... 228 00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:37,135 in which to dip my pigs in blankets! 229 00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:39,638 I'm the type of girl who- [Deep Breath] keeps her cool. 230 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,139 Who keeps her cool. 231 00:10:42,174 --> 00:10:45,343 - [Exhales] - Hey, oh. Baby, are you okay? 232 00:10:45,344 --> 00:10:47,512 Of course. Oh, this party is great. 233 00:10:47,513 --> 00:10:50,778 I am handling this. Oh, God. 234 00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:53,385 [Murmurs] 235 00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,420 No. 236 00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:59,391 Hummus and veggies. I'm looking for hummus and veggies. 237 00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:02,160 Can I talk to you about something very dear to me? 238 00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:04,129 Promise me this isn't about your penis. 239 00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:06,898 I promise it isn't about my penis. 240 00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:09,399 I'm sorry, dude. 241 00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:15,630 Excuse me, sir. Could I talk to you in the kitchen? 242 00:11:19,545 --> 00:11:22,080 - Sorry about that. - I don't need this right now, Ted. 243 00:11:22,081 --> 00:11:24,516 I swear, if there is one more crisis- 244 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,318 Well, the bees escaped their enclosure... 245 00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:28,820 but no reason to "bee" concerned. 246 00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:31,122 [Chuckling] 247 00:11:31,123 --> 00:11:32,958 No, there is. We're in big trouble. 248 00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:36,861 - What is that smell? - Oh, I doused my suit with kerosene. 249 00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:38,597 All beekeepers do this. 250 00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:41,566 - Dad, just take off the suit right now. - All right, fine. 251 00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:45,470 Every 30 seconds, there's another crisis that needs to be dealt with... 252 00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:47,272 and I have to deal with it. 253 00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:48,974 This is- 254 00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:51,710 Oh, God. This is parenthood, isn't it? 255 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,779 - So they say. - Okay, it's official. 256 00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:56,781 I thought I could do it, but I can't. 257 00:11:56,782 --> 00:11:58,783 No. Marshall's always at work. 258 00:11:58,784 --> 00:12:00,819 He's gotta go back tonight, and I don't know... 259 00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:04,155 if I can handle a life that's just one crisis after another. 260 00:12:04,156 --> 00:12:06,391 Lily, listen to me. I'm gonna give you a little piece of- 261 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,793 - Gouda! - God. 262 00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:11,294 - Crisis? - Crisis. 263 00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:14,132 Don't eat that. Whoops. 264 00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:16,735 - Gouda's out, Ted. Don't sleep on the Gouda. - Wouldn't dream of it. 265 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:20,038 - So Lily told me you have to go back to work tonight? - I don't have to go to work. 266 00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:21,740 Mr. Cootes and I came to an understanding. 267 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,308 But, hey, what's going on with Robin? 268 00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:26,144 I called her a mean son of a bitch, and she took it all weird. 269 00:12:26,145 --> 00:12:27,746 - She did? - Yeah. 270 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,481 Crazy, right? 271 00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:32,317 Hey, buddy. Best housewarming party ever. 272 00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:34,686 Everybody's abuzz. 273 00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:37,155 - "Abuzz." - Oh, good one, Mickey. 274 00:12:37,156 --> 00:12:40,225 - Hey, you're right. Great party. - [Timer Beeping] 275 00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:44,026 [Screaming] 276 00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:46,690 277 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,500 What the hell was that? 278 00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:56,041 [Screaming] 279 00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:58,209 [Ted Narrating] And that's what happened in the dining room. 280 00:12:58,210 --> 00:12:59,844 [Beeps] 281 00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:02,147 Now I'm gonna tell you what happened in the kitchen. 282 00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:03,715 283 00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:06,806 Oh, no. That's not what you want. 284 00:13:06,819 --> 00:13:10,021 Man, I can't believe these are vegan. 285 00:13:10,022 --> 00:13:11,856 - Back to our fight? - Back to our fight. 286 00:13:11,857 --> 00:13:14,159 I cannot believe you screamed at that woman at Zabar's. 287 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,995 She was trying to cut in line! She was gonna get the last kugel. 288 00:13:16,996 --> 00:13:20,398 She was 90 years old. It was probably gonna be her last kugel. 289 00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:23,468 Sometimes in life, you have to be assertive and stand up for yourself. 290 00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:26,304 - You called her a whore. - Who wears that much makeup? 291 00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:29,240 - Old ladies! - Who take money for sex. Exactly. 292 00:13:29,241 --> 00:13:31,409 Look, I'm sorry. 293 00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:34,079 If I would've left things in your dainty, lily-white... 294 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,347 "never ripped an old lady's wig off" hands... 295 00:13:36,348 --> 00:13:38,416 we would be kugel-free right now. 296 00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:40,085 Oh, so what- I'm too nice? 297 00:13:40,086 --> 00:13:41,820 You never stand up for yourself. 298 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,189 Remember that sixth grader who kept stealing your lunch? 299 00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,958 High school was a tough time for me, okay? 300 00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:48,693 And that-that girl was muscular! 301 00:13:48,694 --> 00:13:50,628 Forearms like Popeye! 302 00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:52,697 - How-How do you even know about that? - Marshall told me. 303 00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:55,100 He also said that you had your mom stop making... 304 00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:56,901 peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches... 305 00:13:56,902 --> 00:13:58,837 because of that girl's nut allergy. 306 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,739 I didn't wanna add to her health problems. 307 00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:03,608 She was already in a wheelchair. 308 00:14:03,609 --> 00:14:06,377 Okay, so what? I would rather be nice than be like you... 309 00:14:06,378 --> 00:14:09,514 always getting in fights about stuff that's not even worth fighting about. 310 00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:11,082 I disagree. 311 00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:13,284 It's like Sun Tzu wrote in The Art of War- 312 00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:15,353 "Never give up. Never surrender." 313 00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:18,323 - That was Tim Allen in Galaxy Quest. - Whatever, dude. 314 00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:22,360 Your problem is, anytime you're faced with the least bit of confrontation, you run away. 315 00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:25,431 Oh, I run away from confrontation? 316 00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:32,237 Ted, baby Gouda's coming out. Look alive. 317 00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:34,606 - [Barney] Ooh-whee! - Whoops! 318 00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:38,810 Son of a- I'm sorry. Maybe that was my fault. 319 00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:41,412 Ya think? You're right in my snack track. 320 00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:43,882 Hey, nice beekeeper suit. 321 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,918 Do you know that, uh, most bees are left-handed? 322 00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:49,420 Do you know that bees hate the smell of kerosene? 323 00:14:49,421 --> 00:14:51,089 I knew that. Geez, what do you think? 324 00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:52,824 This is my first day as a beekeeper? 325 00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:55,726 - [Zipper Zips] - Nice. Oh. 326 00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:58,296 Is that true about bees and kerosene? 327 00:14:58,297 --> 00:15:00,732 I don't know. 328 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,300 - Barney. - Oh, Lily. 329 00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:04,569 Ted ate all the spring rolls. 330 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:07,338 Barney, that woman you were talking to- our neighbor Geraldine. 331 00:15:07,339 --> 00:15:10,141 Some guy slept with her and didn't call her... 332 00:15:10,142 --> 00:15:14,879 so she hunted him down and cut off a certain part of his anatomy... 333 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:16,781 with a cheese knife. 334 00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:20,785 - [Exhales] - So whatever you do, don't sleep with her. 335 00:15:20,786 --> 00:15:22,353 It's funny. 336 00:15:22,354 --> 00:15:26,357 She is, uh, waiting for me in the guest bedroom right now. 337 00:15:26,358 --> 00:15:28,326 Oh, God. Oh, God! 338 00:15:28,327 --> 00:15:30,795 That was the idea, but now forget it! 339 00:15:30,796 --> 00:15:35,166 Barney, this is a disaster. I swear, if there is one- [Gasps] 340 00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:38,102 It's fine. Everything's fine. Hey, 10-second rule, right? 341 00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:40,104 [Lily Screams] 342 00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:42,540 It's fine. Everything's fine. 343 00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:45,203 Shoo. Shoo. Shoo! 344 00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,712 I know you're pregnant, but you need a glass of wine. 345 00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:49,514 I got that cheese off the lnternet. 346 00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:51,082 I know you got it off the lnternet. 347 00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:52,650 Why does that make it impressive? 348 00:15:52,651 --> 00:15:54,285 You know what else you can find on the lnternet? 349 00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:55,854 Zoo animals masturbating. 350 00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:58,389 There's one of a walrus. [Chuckling] 351 00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:00,890 He's- 352 00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:05,161 Uh- Uh- 353 00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:07,864 [Sighs] 354 00:16:07,933 --> 00:16:09,968 [Gasps, Hisses] 355 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,767 [Panting] 356 00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:15,206 No. 357 00:16:15,207 --> 00:16:18,267 - [Bees Buzzing] - [Exhales] 358 00:16:18,344 --> 00:16:22,944 Excuse me, sir. Can I talk to you in the kitchen? 359 00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:28,586 [Clears Throat] 360 00:16:28,587 --> 00:16:32,423 Mr. Cootes, I am not going back to work tonight. 361 00:16:32,424 --> 00:16:34,859 Oh, no, she didn't just say that! 362 00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:37,428 - [Laughing] - Mickey, can we just have a minute? 363 00:16:37,429 --> 00:16:39,929 Oh, yeah, sure. 364 00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:44,869 Marshall, look, I know when you started with this firm... 365 00:16:44,870 --> 00:16:46,871 it was all fun and games. 366 00:16:46,872 --> 00:16:50,842 The office chair races were particularly spirited... 367 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:54,279 until, of course, Gail went down the stairs. 368 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:58,116 But for one brief moment, boy, did she fly. 369 00:16:58,117 --> 00:17:02,144 [Sighs] I'm not here. I'm not here. 370 00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:04,756 Mr. Cootes, you are working yourself to death. 371 00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:09,460 Just- Cut loose a little. Have a beer. Find a hobby. 372 00:17:09,461 --> 00:17:11,262 Look, son, it's very simple. 373 00:17:11,263 --> 00:17:15,400 Um, Mother Earth doesn't get a night off. Neither do you. 374 00:17:15,401 --> 00:17:17,901 Well, then I quit. 375 00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:23,007 And I don't know if I can handle a life... 376 00:17:23,008 --> 00:17:25,109 that's just one crisis after another. 377 00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:27,312 Lily, listen to me. I'm gonna give you a little piece of- 378 00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:28,746 Gouda! 379 00:17:28,747 --> 00:17:31,983 Maybe he's right. Maybe I do need a hobby. 380 00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:34,319 Well, hey, how about beekeeping? 381 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,621 Me? No. I don't know the first thing about bees. 382 00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:40,402 Do you wanna know a secret? Neither do l. 383 00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:43,594 It's not a secret. 384 00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:46,164 - Let me try this thing on. - Let me give you some privacy. 385 00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:49,100 Oh, thank you. Okay. 386 00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:52,437 Hey, buddy. Best housewarming party ever. 387 00:17:52,438 --> 00:17:54,238 Everybody's abuzz. 388 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:56,607 - [Bees Buzzing] - [Alarm Beeping] 389 00:17:56,608 --> 00:17:59,277 Maybe it's not a total disaster. 390 00:17:59,278 --> 00:18:01,346 Great party. 391 00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:05,477 [Gasps, Screaming] 392 00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:09,354 I'm burning for you 393 00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:11,855 [Screaming Continues] 394 00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:15,890 Oh, my God! Oh! Oh! Mr. Cootes! 395 00:18:15,961 --> 00:18:18,096 Mr. Cootes, are you okay? 396 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,622 That was amazing! 397 00:18:20,699 --> 00:18:22,333 Did you see me? 398 00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:25,336 I flew through the air like a human fireball and didn't get a scratch! 399 00:18:25,337 --> 00:18:28,039 Eat your heart out, Gail! [Laughs] 400 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,540 God, I feel so alive! 401 00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:32,210 I want to drink a beer. 402 00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:34,879 Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. One beer coming right up. 403 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,576 Oh, and, uh, Marshall? 404 00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:41,285 I- I think we'll take the night off tonight, okay? 405 00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,987 Sounds good. Yeah. 406 00:18:42,988 --> 00:18:45,488 But I'll see you Monday? 407 00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:50,052 - Of course. - [Sighs] 408 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:53,731 You know, Robin, I've been thinking about it. 409 00:18:53,732 --> 00:18:57,568 I guess it's kinda nice you're such a bad ass. 410 00:18:57,569 --> 00:19:01,319 It's pretty bad ass you're so nice, Ted. 411 00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:05,817 Was I supposed to close the basement door? 412 00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:09,045 [Bees Buzzing] 413 00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:20,591 God, this feels so right! 414 00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:22,560 - We're so great together. - Well- 415 00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:24,862 I wanna spend every minute of every day with you. 416 00:19:24,863 --> 00:19:27,031 I never wanna let you out of my sight for one second. 417 00:19:27,032 --> 00:19:29,467 Not one second! Not one second! I don't! Ah! 418 00:19:29,468 --> 00:19:33,037 God! My last lover was not like this. He was the worst. 419 00:19:33,038 --> 00:19:36,240 Do you know, he didn't even come to my cat's bris? 420 00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:39,877 I mean, what? Well, we showed him. Yes, we did. 421 00:19:39,878 --> 00:19:43,881 Let's just say, the punishment fit the crime. 422 00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:46,350 I can't wait to tell everybody that we're boyfriend and girlfriend! 423 00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:47,685 - [Bees Buzzing] - Let's do it tonight! 424 00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:50,254 No, it's Lily and Marshall's party. We'll wait. 425 00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:53,524 We can do it at Mittens and Mr. Pepper's wedding! 426 00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:55,593 - Right? Or maybe something- - [Buzzing] 427 00:19:55,594 --> 00:19:58,094 [Barney Screaming]