1 00:00:04,037 --> 00:00:06,472 - Robert set me up. 2 00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:09,208 I mean, you don't give your girlfriend of two years 3 00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:11,210 A little velvet box for her birthday 4 00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:14,413 And not have it be an engagement ring. 5 00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:16,215 - Oh, amy. 6 00:00:16,217 --> 00:00:17,683 You know, I don't have any chocolate, 7 00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:20,552 But bite the heads off these animal crackers. 8 00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:23,255 - Thanks. 9 00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:25,290 - So what was in the box? 10 00:00:25,292 --> 00:00:28,193 - Oh, one of those beautiful pearl 11 00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:31,663 We're-never-getting-married necklaces. 12 00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:33,332 - You know, you just got to give it time. 13 00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:35,401 You and robert will get married eventually. 14 00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:37,403 - No, we talked about it, 15 00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:39,071 You know, when he asked me 16 00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:42,574 Why I threw the velvet box at his head. 17 00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:44,076 And he told me, 18 00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:45,277 "I still don't know what I want. 19 00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,345 It's not you; it's me." 20 00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:47,513 - Oh, god. 21 00:00:47,515 --> 00:00:49,381 "it's not you; it's me." 22 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,683 That's on the guys' greatest hits album. 23 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,087 - So I broke up with him. 24 00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:57,456 - You--again? On your birthday? 25 00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:59,591 - Why not? 26 00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,460 I came into this world alone. 27 00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:03,462 - Oh, amy... 28 00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:04,730 Oh, sweetie... 29 00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,765 - No. It's my fault. 30 00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:09,568 I keep falling for the wrong guys. 31 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,637 This is my pattern. 32 00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:15,707 - Well, your pattern used to be falling for guys who were gay. 33 00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:17,609 - They didn't start out gay. 34 00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:21,113 They became gay after going out with me. 35 00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:22,748 - Well, at least it wasn't that this time. 36 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,750 - As far as we know. 37 00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:26,552 - Yeah, right. 38 00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:31,657 - Maybe robert is gay. 39 00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:33,492 - No. 40 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:35,527 Are you serious? 41 00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:36,862 - Think about it. 42 00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:39,565 He color-coordinates his clothes. 43 00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:41,233 He can dance. 44 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:45,137 Certainly very attached to his mother. 45 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,141 And he didn't pressure me to sleep with him 46 00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:52,411 When I wasn't ready that whole first year. 47 00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:58,650 - Yeah, but then you did sleep with him. 48 00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:00,152 This is ridiculous. 49 00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:02,855 Robert likes women. He was married once. 50 00:02:02,857 --> 00:02:04,356 - Yeah, I know. 51 00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:08,460 He started out straight, but I turn them. 52 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,696 I'm the spatula. 53 00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:20,506 - I should never have fixed amy and robert up. 54 00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:23,542 - Hey, they had a good run. 55 00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:27,179 Look, sometimes these things don't work out, you know. 56 00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:28,914 And sometimes they do. 57 00:02:30,917 --> 00:02:33,685 - Two and a half child-bearing years off of amy's life. 58 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,287 - Mmm. 59 00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:36,822 - You know what I don't understand? 60 00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:42,828 That when I kiss your neck, I'm not checking for ticks. 61 00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:55,741 - Robert is-- robert's always saying 62 00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:56,942 That he wants what you have: 63 00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:58,710 A house, a wife, kids. 64 00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:00,512 He's gonna end up spending the rest of his life 65 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:01,747 Going on date after date, 66 00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:04,183 Looking for love with strangers. 67 00:03:04,185 --> 00:03:05,918 - Yeah. 68 00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:11,290 - I'm serious. 69 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:12,791 I think robert needs to get some help. 70 00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:15,327 He's got this big fear of commitment. 71 00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:16,762 - Is that what amy thinks? 72 00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:18,864 - No. Amy thinks he's gay. 73 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:21,967 - Hah. Yeah. I'll bet she does. 74 00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:24,303 - What? What's that supposed to mean? 75 00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:25,470 - Nothing. 76 00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:27,206 I just-- I think it's funny 77 00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:30,375 How a woman always says if a guy rejects her, 78 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:32,778 Oh, he must be gay. 79 00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:34,513 You always reject me, 80 00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:40,252 A-and I don't call you a lesbian... 81 00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:41,920 Every single time. 82 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:47,259 - I mean, is there a chance? 83 00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:50,829 - That you're a lesbian? 84 00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:53,365 - That your brother is gay? 85 00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:54,800 - No! 86 00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:56,568 Why? Just because he's not married? 87 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,637 Why are we talking about this? 88 00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:02,507 Oh, you will do anything to avoid sex with me. 89 00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:04,810 - I'm just saying, you know, maybe he is 90 00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:07,379 And maybe he doesn't know that he is. 91 00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:08,580 - He's definitely not. 92 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:09,982 All right? He's my brother. 93 00:04:09,984 --> 00:04:12,284 - Oh, okay. 94 00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:13,585 You know, can I tell you something? 95 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,020 There are some men 96 00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:16,888 Who won't even consider the possibility 97 00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,423 Because it would be too devastating 98 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:22,361 To their homophobic families. 99 00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:25,364 - Ooh, look at my big words. 100 00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,438 - I'm just saying that, you know, 101 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,707 Even if robert suspected that he might be that way, 102 00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,476 You could see how he would think 103 00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,611 That it would be easier just not even to deal with it, 104 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:42,414 Even if it meant ending up old and alone. 105 00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:44,950 And wouldn't that be sad? 106 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:47,286 - You want to see old and alone? 107 00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:56,695 - What are you reading? 108 00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:57,896 - The obituaries. 109 00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:04,836 I beat all these guys. 110 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,705 - Hey, I need to borrow your vacuum. 111 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,040 - Hello, dear. 112 00:05:08,042 --> 00:05:09,508 You're just in time for pancakes. 113 00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:10,642 - All right. 114 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,010 - Hey! Those are my pancakes! 115 00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,578 Why can't he wait for the next batch? 116 00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:15,380 - I love him. 117 00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:18,050 - Oh, boy, these are good. 118 00:05:18,052 --> 00:05:20,352 - I've been sitting here a half an hour. 119 00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:21,920 Tomorrow you're gonna read my obit. 120 00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:26,658 "local man dies waiting for flapjacks." 121 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:29,361 - "marie barone dances in street." 122 00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:34,533 - "disaster declared." 123 00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:36,635 "president to visit street." 124 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,974 - All right, where's the vacuum? 125 00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:44,543 - Why, what's wrong with yours? 126 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:47,579 - Ah, it's hanging on a curtain. 127 00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:51,883 - You were vacuuming? 128 00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,885 - Yeah. Why? 129 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:56,088 I help out around the house sometimes. 130 00:05:56,090 --> 00:05:57,856 - Oh, that's nice. 131 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,591 Do you dust too? 132 00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:00,859 With a little feather duster? 133 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,461 Nancy? 134 00:06:03,963 --> 00:06:06,732 - You know, dad, 135 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:09,434 Sometimes when you talk like that, 136 00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:11,403 People could get offended. 137 00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:14,639 - Offended by what? 138 00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:16,041 - Nothing. Nothing. Forget about it. 139 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,576 - No. What? 140 00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,644 - Nothing. It's just... 141 00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:20,946 When you say "nancy," 142 00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:23,782 What are you implying exactly? 143 00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:26,651 - That your name should be nancy. 144 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:34,860 - And when you say "nancy," that's your word for gay. 145 00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:36,762 - Very well. 146 00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:45,504 - And--and you mean that as an insult? 147 00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:47,806 - Yes, I believe I do. 148 00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:52,544 - Well, that-- that's not nice. 149 00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:54,913 - That's why it's a good insult. 150 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,448 - No. 151 00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:58,617 I mean that's not nice to gay people. 152 00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:01,787 - You're right. 153 00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:03,522 I'm sorry... 154 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:04,856 Mary. 155 00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:09,561 - Oh, forget it, raymond. 156 00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,496 Forget it. It's no use. 157 00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:13,031 I've seen how your father acts 158 00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:15,200 In front of people who happen to be homosexual. 159 00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:18,003 He's the same ass he is in front of us. 160 00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:24,109 - You know some homosexual people? 161 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:25,577 - Of course we do. 162 00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:27,212 My second cousin freda. 163 00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:28,680 - What? 164 00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:29,848 - You knew that. 165 00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,983 - I most certainly did not. 166 00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:34,686 - Why do you think she never got married? 167 00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:37,055 - Because she looks like a pit bull. 168 00:07:42,695 --> 00:07:44,663 - She even brought her girlfriend 169 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,865 To our anniversary party. 170 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:50,836 - That blue hair who ate all the meatballs? 171 00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:52,871 - Yeah, they've been together for years. 172 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:56,575 Midge. 173 00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,543 - And--and you have no problem with this? 174 00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:00,245 - It would've been nice if she left some meatballs 175 00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:02,080 For the other guests. 176 00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:05,016 But I have no problems with the gay people. 177 00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:10,622 - What did you bring this up for? 178 00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:12,090 - I didn't. I didn't. 179 00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:13,492 Last night, debra was sayin' 180 00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:15,494 That if someone in our family was gay-- 181 00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,629 - Was it jeffrey? 182 00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:18,864 I told you about him. 183 00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:20,065 - Would you stop, dad? 184 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,000 - Look at him. He runs funny. 185 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,768 - Oh. 186 00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:27,772 We were talkin' about robert. 187 00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:28,940 - Robert? 188 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:29,941 - Robert's not gay. 189 00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:33,678 He's a policeman. 190 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:39,017 - One of those village people was a policeman. 191 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,585 - Robert's not gay. 192 00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:41,887 - Then why did you say he was? 193 00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:43,188 - I didn't! 194 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,856 - Hey, you taught him all those songs. 195 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:48,693 - What? We sang songs together. 196 00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,962 somewhere over the rainbow 197 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,531 - Knock it off! 198 00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:53,598 - What? 199 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:54,833 - That's how it starts! 200 00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:56,101 - Oh, please! 201 00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:59,671 He's not gay. He's dating amy. 202 00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:00,739 - Yeah, well... 203 00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:03,174 - What? They broke up? 204 00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:04,676 - Yes, but--but-- 205 00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,578 - They broke up? Why did they break up? 206 00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:07,879 - I don't know, ma. 207 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,781 - This is the third time. 208 00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:11,216 oh, my god. 209 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,018 - Oh, come on. Look, it's not because-- 210 00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:14,753 - I told you. It was too much mothering. 211 00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,888 You're always hugging him. 212 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:19,057 - Did you ever hug him once? 213 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,326 - What the hell is happening here? 214 00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:22,861 - Nothing! 215 00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:25,297 Nothing is happening, frank. 216 00:09:25,299 --> 00:09:27,866 Could you try to be mature for a second? 217 00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:28,867 He's still our son. 218 00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:30,268 We need to underst-- 219 00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:33,004 - Oh, could you both stop, please? 220 00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:35,206 - Hello, everybody. 221 00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:38,209 - Robert. 222 00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:51,222 It's fine with me if you're gay, dear. 223 00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:04,235 - Who told you I was gay? 224 00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:05,270 - Raymond. 225 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,838 - Ma! 226 00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:09,741 I didn't say that, all right? 227 00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,276 I didn't say anything. 228 00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:14,112 - He told us that you broke up with amy again. 229 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,281 - Well, that means I'm not ready to get married right now. 230 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,916 It doesn't mean I'm gay. 231 00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:20,118 - All right, sweetheart. Have some pancakes. 232 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,187 - I'm not gay! Tell them, raymond. 233 00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:23,321 - He's not! 234 00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,056 - Here. Sit down, dear. 235 00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:26,858 - You know, it's just this thing with amy was 236 00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,126 I-I-I couldn't commit right now. 237 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,327 I don't know what it is. 238 00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:30,962 Maybe she's not the one for me. 239 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,964 - Is it because she's a woman? 240 00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:38,637 - Oh, my god. 241 00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:42,741 Is there a gas leak in here? 242 00:10:42,743 --> 00:10:46,311 - Oh, come on. Come here. 243 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,646 I just want to tell you 244 00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:49,047 That your father and I love you 245 00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,949 And will support you no matter what. 246 00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,083 Right, frank? 247 00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:01,793 I'll support you... 248 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:03,795 - Thanks, ma. 249 00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:05,263 - Even if you are gay. 250 00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:06,665 - Believe me, robert, 251 00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:08,066 I did not say that you were gay. 252 00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:11,102 - Could we talk about something else, please? 253 00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:14,339 - I mean, you of all people should understand, frank. 254 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,307 What about that man in korea? 255 00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:19,077 - I told you never to mention that. 256 00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:31,956 - What? What happened in korea? 257 00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:34,426 - Nothing happened. 258 00:11:34,428 --> 00:11:36,227 We were in a foxhole. 259 00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:37,696 It was cold and snowing. 260 00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:39,698 We had to keep warm. 261 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,099 We huddled. 262 00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:42,233 You gotta survive, don't ya? 263 00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:44,369 It lasted half a second. 264 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:47,872 - You see, dear, your father understands. 265 00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,074 - Our coats were insufficient! 266 00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:51,276 It was huddle or die! 267 00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:54,179 - Oh, shut up, frank. 268 00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:56,214 We're talking about robert. 269 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:59,250 And we're telling him that we will respect his choice. 270 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,886 - It's not my choice! 271 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,488 - I know, dear. 272 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:08,093 Freda says it's something you're born with. 273 00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:10,161 - Look, robert, just ignore 'em. That's all. 274 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,764 - Ignore them? My parents think I'm gay. 275 00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:14,199 - So what? 276 00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:15,767 If they tell everyone they know, 277 00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:17,769 That's four people. 278 00:12:26,278 --> 00:12:28,780 - Thanks a lot, raymond. 279 00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:30,415 - I didn't say you were, all right? 280 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,183 It was a "what if?" 281 00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:34,185 You know, like, "what if we were adopted?" 282 00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,921 It didn't really happen, but it's fun to think about. 283 00:12:39,191 --> 00:12:41,292 - Yeah? Well, have your fun. 284 00:12:43,963 --> 00:12:48,166 - He has always been very sensitive. 285 00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:49,200 - He outranked me. 286 00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:51,469 I couldn't say no! 287 00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:10,822 it's so nice to be 288 00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:14,926 Back home where I belong 289 00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:16,561 You're looking s-- 290 00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:19,998 - Robert. 291 00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:24,869 I know you're in there. 292 00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:28,139 I parked right behind you. 293 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,542 - Then move your car. 294 00:13:30,544 --> 00:13:34,078 I don't want to be late for my parade in the village. 295 00:13:37,516 --> 00:13:40,251 - Come on, I just want to talk. 296 00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:42,287 - Go away. 297 00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:45,156 - Listen, I know you're not gay! 298 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,825 - Get in here! 299 00:13:53,132 --> 00:13:54,933 You don't think I'm gay? 300 00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:57,101 Then why was I outed at breakfast? 301 00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:59,137 - Come on, you know mom and dad. 302 00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:01,573 You say one thing and they're off and running. 303 00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:03,541 - And what was that one thing? 304 00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:05,977 "robert's man crazy"? 305 00:14:08,447 --> 00:14:09,614 - I wouldn't say that. 306 00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:12,083 I-I'd say something like... 307 00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,918 Like, robert has lovely little knickknacks 308 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,320 On his mantel. 309 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:21,326 - They are lovely. 310 00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:23,461 - Yeah, okay. So what? 311 00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:27,232 - I got them at an antique fair. 312 00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:29,200 - All right, well, whatever. 313 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,935 Look, I was kidding. 314 00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:32,904 I'm sorry that I talked to mom and dad. 315 00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:34,639 I always am. 316 00:14:37,142 --> 00:14:39,878 - Well, no, listen, I never considered it. 317 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:40,945 Look at me. 318 00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:41,946 I'm divorced, 319 00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:43,114 Breakups left and right... 320 00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:44,349 I don't know, raymond. 321 00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:45,617 If the whole family thinks I am-- 322 00:14:45,619 --> 00:14:47,085 - Will you stop it? 323 00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:48,987 They don't think you're gay. 324 00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:50,955 They're just confused. 325 00:14:52,491 --> 00:14:57,562 Maybe you shouldn't have worn that shirt today. 326 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,530 - Oh, hey, I didn't buy this shirt. 327 00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:02,100 Ma bought it for me. 328 00:15:04,436 --> 00:15:06,337 - Aw. 329 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,907 Look, this whole thing is debra's fault. 330 00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:10,208 She--she put the idea in my head 331 00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:11,910 That if you were gay-- 332 00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:13,444 - Debra thinks I'm gay too? 333 00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,179 - No! No one thinks you're gay! 334 00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:16,648 Except for maybe amy. 335 00:15:16,650 --> 00:15:18,149 - Oh. 336 00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:20,351 Only the woman I was sleeping with. 337 00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:22,487 - Look, amy's got nothing to compare it with. 338 00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:25,523 She was a virgin when you met her. 339 00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,058 Come on. 340 00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,660 You got nothing to worry about. 341 00:15:28,662 --> 00:15:30,161 Jeez. 342 00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:36,267 - Hey, ray. 343 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,270 Let me ask you something. 344 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,139 Do you ever notice guys? 345 00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:42,674 - What do you mean? 346 00:15:42,676 --> 00:15:44,676 - Well, like if a guy's really cut, you know, 347 00:15:44,678 --> 00:15:47,145 When you're at the gym. 348 00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:48,413 You ever notice 'em? 349 00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:57,055 - Nope. 350 00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:58,089 - Oh. 351 00:15:58,091 --> 00:16:00,224 - Hmm. 352 00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:02,460 Do you? 353 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,429 - A little bit. 354 00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:05,563 - Yeah, well, so what? 355 00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:06,664 So you notice them a little. 356 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:07,665 So what? That's normal. 357 00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:09,600 - Then why don't you? 358 00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,035 - All right. 359 00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:12,270 I notice a little. 360 00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:13,571 Like I noticed your knickknacks. 361 00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:15,273 It's... 362 00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:17,208 It's something in the room, that's all. 363 00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,344 It doesn't mean I got a thing for knickknacks. 364 00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:30,588 - So you never wondered if you were? 365 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:34,092 - Every guy wonders if he is at some point. 366 00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:35,259 - You sure? 367 00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:36,661 - Yeah, yeah. 368 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,463 You wonder, and then you see some breasts, 369 00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,365 You walk into a wall, and there you go. 370 00:16:43,268 --> 00:16:44,469 - So... 371 00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:45,603 When did you think about it? 372 00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,171 - I don't know. 373 00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,007 I don't know. I don't remember. 374 00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:51,275 - You don't remember 'cause you never thought about it. 375 00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:52,343 - I thought about it! 376 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,745 - When? - Tenth grade! 377 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,382 - Go ahead. 378 00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:58,716 - It was nothing. 379 00:16:58,718 --> 00:17:00,518 It's... 380 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,720 Patrick lopez wrote "you're a gay" in my yearbook. 381 00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,555 And I thought... 382 00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:07,525 Maybe I was. 383 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,127 - Just because he wrote that? 384 00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:10,428 - No. 385 00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,030 Because... Patrick lopez was gay, 386 00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:14,232 And I thought he would know. 387 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,636 - What if I don't know? 388 00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:20,438 - Well, you--you're not! 389 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,373 Wh...Even if you were, well, all right. 390 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,708 It wouldn't be the end of the world. 391 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,109 You'd still be my brother. 392 00:17:26,445 --> 00:17:29,614 My big homosexual brother. 393 00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:35,653 - That means a lot to me, raymond. 394 00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:37,655 - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 395 00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:49,767 - I'm glad we had this talk. 396 00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,636 This is nice. 397 00:17:51,638 --> 00:17:54,238 I should be gay more often. 398 00:17:55,441 --> 00:17:56,674 Hey, did you hear what ma said? 399 00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:57,675 - When? 400 00:17:57,677 --> 00:17:59,210 - This morning. 401 00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:00,778 She said that she would love and support me 402 00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:02,313 No matter what. 403 00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:05,750 That's the nicest thing she ever said to me. 404 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,285 The runner-up was 405 00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:09,554 "you've got spinach in your teeth." 406 00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,722 I'll tell you one thing: 407 00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:15,526 I would've made an excellent gay man. 408 00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:16,594 - What? 409 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,162 - Yeah. Hear me out. 410 00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:19,797 I always have problems with women, right? 411 00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:21,599 But you hang with a guy... 412 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,267 There's no hassles. 413 00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:24,769 Play some golf. 414 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,871 Y-you tell a joke. Nobody's offended. 415 00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:28,639 Or you wouldn't even have to talk at all. 416 00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,274 Nobody cares. 417 00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,609 We could sit and watch tv 418 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,411 As long as we want, and nobody asks, 419 00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:35,646 "what are you thinking?" 420 00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:38,683 - Maybe I'm gay. 421 00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:43,754 - Don't laugh so fast. 422 00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:45,256 There was a sergeant on our force, 423 00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:46,824 A regular guy just like you and me, 424 00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:48,526 Who had no idea he was that way 425 00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:51,395 Until his trip to hawaii. 426 00:18:51,397 --> 00:18:53,297 - What do you mean? Why? What happened? 427 00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:54,699 - A guy rented him a boogie board, 428 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:57,268 And a bell went off. 429 00:18:57,270 --> 00:19:00,538 Today they run a gift shop on maui. 430 00:19:03,775 --> 00:19:04,775 - So what? 431 00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:06,244 What are you saying? 432 00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:08,913 We just haven't met mr. Right? 433 00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:10,681 - I don't know. 434 00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:13,651 - Debra and I were talking about going to hawaii. 435 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,156 - I wouldn't. 436 00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:21,926 - Robert. 437 00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:23,394 Hey... 438 00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,396 You got someone in there? 439 00:19:31,603 --> 00:19:34,205 - Yes I do. 440 00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:37,341 - Nevermind, I'll come back. 441 00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,643 Oh. 442 00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:40,278 Hey, ray. 443 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,913 - Yeah, hi there, dad. 444 00:19:41,915 --> 00:19:43,447 - What are you doing here? 445 00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:46,484 - I got to get your mother off my back. 446 00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:48,186 She's killing me over this. 447 00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:52,757 "he's your son. Why can't you be a person?" 448 00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:54,692 So I'm here. 449 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,894 I'm talking to you. 450 00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:59,463 Okay? 451 00:19:59,465 --> 00:20:01,432 - Okay. 452 00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:05,236 - But there's certain things I don't want to talk about. 453 00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:06,904 - Okay. 454 00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:11,242 So you want to watch a game or something? 455 00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:12,677 - Yes. 456 00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:13,945 Yes, the game. 457 00:20:13,947 --> 00:20:16,247 The game is good. 458 00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:17,315 - How about you ray? 459 00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:18,516 You want to watch? 460 00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:20,318 - Yeah, yeah put the game on. 461 00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:26,757 - So, this is all right. 462 00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:29,627 Just the guys hanging out. 463 00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:32,330 - Dad, let me ask you something. 464 00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:35,566 You ever been to hawaii? 465 00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:38,502 - Oh yeah, I love hawaii. 466 00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:40,705 It's beautiful there. 467 00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:42,773 Me and a few of the guys from my unit 468 00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:47,945 Had a stopover there on the way back from korea. 469 00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:50,548 Boy, did we see some action! 470 00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:01,792 - I got it. 471 00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:10,601 - Hey, how's it going? 472 00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:18,009 I just need you to sign for this. 473 00:21:31,056 --> 00:21:33,357 I-I'm gonna need that back. 474 00:21:34,493 --> 00:21:35,693 Thanks a lot. See ya. 475 00:21:35,695 --> 00:21:37,061 - Mm-hmm. 476 00:21:40,499 --> 00:21:41,899 - What'd you get? 477 00:21:51,343 --> 00:21:52,977 - There you go.