1 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:12,400 [ambulance and traffic noise] 2 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:17,960 - Shall we go over the plan? - Go. 3 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:21,280 We get there, we park in front of the jewelry store. 4 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:24,720 Because you can find parking in Rome in front of the shop where do you have to go? 5 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,160 Ok, let's park near the jewelry store. 6 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:30,360 You didn't understand. In that area there is no parking. 7 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:34,360 - But who found this jewelry store? - Carlo, so there's no discussion. 8 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:38,520 We park wherever we can, if necessary even in double rows, is that okay? Then? 9 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:41,800 Let's go in to see if there are other customers 10 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:45,560 - and that could be a problem. - We ask to show us some watches 11 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:47,200 because we have to give a gift 12 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,480 to a colleague who is getting married. Budget, 1000 euros. 13 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:52,720 - Well, this budget thing, in short... - Like 1000 euros? 14 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:56,640 It's not what I would do to a colleague a gift of 1000 euros. 15 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,800 I would spend a fortune, maybe even half. 16 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:02,880 Oh well, then we have to give the gift to our father who is retiring. There is. 17 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,320 So we are brothers. We don't look like brothers. 18 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,360 Oh, my God, brothers of different fathers. 19 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:11,200 And who should we give it to? 20 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,440 - To my father? To his father? - Hate! 21 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:03,960 {\an8}These are the details who blow up a robbery. 22 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,320 {\an8}In fact, technically this is not a robbery, 23 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,240 {\an8}but it's an aggravated robbery. Article 628. 24 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:10,320 {\an8}Aggravated? 25 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:13,440 {\an8}The lawyer has arrived. 26 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:15,440 I am, lawyer. 27 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,320 I graduated in prison. 28 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:21,320 And why would you end up in the cage, please, you? 29 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:26,600 Because I punched you in the face to someone who didn't mind his own business. 30 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,120 Because ours Would it be aggravated robbery? 31 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,040 Because we are more people doing it. 32 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:32,920 And when is it a normal robbery? 33 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:35,880 When it's just one person and there is no organized group. 34 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:40,240 So, sorry, let's go in one at a time, so we make minor crimes. 35 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:42,400 That's where we averted the trap. 36 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:46,240 Of course, so after the third offense They're already breathing down our necks. 37 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:49,240 So let's do it one place at a time. Three different venues. 38 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:52,560 - Yes, in Rome with what traffic is there? - Here, by the way. 39 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,080 Alright, anyway we were saying, let's get there, 40 00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:58,880 let's go in, let's ask to see some watches. 41 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,520 When they showed us some... 42 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:05,240 - There you go, I'll take it out... - Are you stupid? Put this thing away. 43 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:09,680 You have to come in and say: "Stop everyone, this is a robbery." 44 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:12,800 - This guy has seen too many movies. - I know my joke very well. 45 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,360 - Stop everyone, this is a robbery! - Still? 46 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,600 Maybe it's better to say: “This is a non-aggravated robbery.” 47 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:21,200 - So we cover our asses. - It's no use, 48 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:25,160 because if you show this, it's intimidation plus robbery. 49 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:29,240 Article 628. Say robbery, trust me. Just say that and wrap it all up. 50 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:31,360 All right. Come on, it'll be fine. 51 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:33,120 - It'll be fine. - Stay still! 52 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,720 - Come on! - Put those hands away. 53 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:38,920 No, stop, Don't talk to me about churches, for goodness' sake. 54 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,320 I went the other day to take a body, 55 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:43,880 I entered it into the navigator "church of San Lorenzo" 56 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,520 and I ended up at the castles. 57 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:47,680 I got the wrong church. What was I supposed to do? 58 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:49,320 That was the address. 59 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,720 On the way back, I won't tell you the traffic, I thought about it. 60 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,520 "Now do you know what I do? I'm taking the emergency lane." 61 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:58,840 So much with the hearse, Sergio, who's stopping you? Who? 62 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,080 They stopped me. 63 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:01,160 Oh, sure. 64 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:05,440 Three fines and five points on my license, because I was on my cell phone. 65 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:06,560 Eh. 66 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,440 Eh, they had already taken 15 from me, you do the math. 67 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:11,280 Without a license. But what should I do? 68 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,560 I have to work. Eh, I have to work, yes. 69 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:18,080 Holy shit, the guards. Let me attack. Hello, Sergio. Bye bye. 70 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:20,080 And what is it? A nightmare. 71 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:21,840 From all sides. 72 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:24,120 [coffin shots] 73 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:26,320 But what is it? 74 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:27,640 [creak] 75 00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:32,520 [creaking intensifies] 76 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:37,960 Oh, oh! Oh, what is it? But what is it? 77 00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:40,840 Hate. 78 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,240 - Where am I? - But who are you? But what do you want? 79 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:44,720 Are you OK? 80 00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:47,360 Oh, holy... 81 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:48,920 Where are we? 82 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:53,200 We got stuck, I would be the driver of your hearse. 83 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:55,800 Oh God, I'm suffocating. You can't breathe in here. 84 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:57,640 You really shouldn't be breathing. 85 00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:00,400 Couldn't you open the window? A little air. 86 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:01,880 Sure, why not? 87 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:05,280 Do you think I'm telling you no? 88 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:10,680 Aren't you William? 89 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:12,440 No. 90 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,560 That is, yes, once upon a time I was Guglielmo. 91 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,240 Not anymore. 92 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,120 - Let me call the guards. - No, no, stop! 93 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,520 - Can I explain what's happening? - Let's hope. 94 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:24,240 If I get caught with a live one in a coffin, without a license, 95 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:26,400 - I'm the dead one. - Ok, I'll explain, I'll explain. 96 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,400 But you have to swear to me don't talk to anyone. 97 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,760 What do I swear? Speak before I call the guards. 98 00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:33,320 Ok, I'll explain. 99 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:36,080 Bah! 100 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:40,360 Fabiana... 101 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:44,200 [hum] 102 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:48,040 I know this one. 103 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:50,600 [hum] 104 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:56,480 Oh! 105 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:21,560 Yes, yes. 106 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:24,920 [hum] 107 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,120 No, no, no! 108 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,320 Good, good. 109 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:46,040 Stay there. 110 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:49,680 No! 111 00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:58,840 Sonia, will you take me down or not? 112 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,560 Yes, yes, I'll let you down now. 113 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:06,240 Listen, but... 114 00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:07,840 But... 115 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,160 Do something, right? You could do... 116 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:14,920 Why don't you take a photo? Huh? 117 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:18,960 So then when you come down we zoom it and we understand that it happened. 118 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,040 - A photo? - Eh. 119 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:24,920 Come on. 120 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,800 - Sonia! - Eh. 121 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,800 Sonia, I got it your phone by accident! 122 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:34,800 So I have yours? 123 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:37,600 Ouch... 124 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:41,040 Oh well, come on, it can happen, This is funny, isn't it? 125 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:42,960 [Faith] Alright, can you let me down? 126 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:46,720 - Lots of laughing. - Yes, I'll take you down now, don't worry. 127 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,960 Did you take this photo? Come on, take the photo! 128 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,200 Let's take photos. 129 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:55,880 Doesn't work, huh? 130 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:58,120 It doesn't work. 131 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,560 Years ago, Guglielmo screwed up. 132 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:09,680 William, isn't that you? 133 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:12,240 Yes, when I was Guglielmo I made a mess, 134 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:14,840 I got into dirty business, I lost money. 135 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:17,760 And since the banks they had turned their backs on me, 136 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:22,280 I asked the wrong people for money. 137 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:24,960 - To relatives? - Worse, mafiosi. 138 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,200 First they wanted two million euros. 139 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:28,720 Then mine... 140 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:33,880 Imagine that in two years they have tried to kill me three times. 141 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,920 He told you that I'm poor. 142 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,560 Don't be funny. There is nothing to joke about. 143 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,840 The last time they set fire to my house. 144 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:45,480 With me inside. If they weren't there It was the firefighters who pulled me out... 145 00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:48,480 Eh, I picked you up first. Really dead, though. 146 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:54,040 My sister lives in Umbria. 147 00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:58,520 - Sorry, is this another story? - No, it's the same story. 148 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:00,520 - The same one? Okay. - Yes, the same one. 149 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,960 Two days ago he called me, and told me 150 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:09,320 that her husband, who would be Alfonso, my brother-in-law had died of a stroke. 151 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,720 So I asked her if he had spoken to anyone, 152 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,240 with the police, ambulance, carabinieri... 153 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,320 She said who had only spoken to me. 154 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,600 Then, while he was speaking, I thought that... 155 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,960 It's absurd, it was a shame that he died so prematurely. 156 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,800 Then he had just retired, think, 3,000 euros. 157 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:30,560 - Mecojoni! - While I owed two million to the mafia. 158 00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:34,120 - Think how unfair life is, huh? - No, death is unjust. 159 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:35,680 - Right. - Oh well, in short, 160 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,760 while I was trying to console my sister, 161 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:41,360 at some point I had a crazy idea. 162 00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:42,680 And I told her: 163 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:47,320 "You wait until I arrive, then call the ambulance", right? 164 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:50,800 “And you tell them you found it your brother", that is me, 165 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,920 "died at home and then you give him the documents." 166 00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:57,400 In the end me and my brother in law we look very much alike. 167 00:09:57,880 --> 00:09:59,840 I mean, so... I don't believe it. 168 00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:04,560 I swear, they went to my brother-in-law's house to certify the death 169 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:07,800 they picked it up and they have it taken to a small cemetery 170 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:09,480 near my sister's house. 171 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,920 Except my name is on the tombstone. 172 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:18,040 I mean, you can visit your own tombstone? 173 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:21,120 - This thing is terrible. - No, it's fantastic instead. 174 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:25,040 Of course, I kept all the documents of Alfonso and now I am him. 175 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,880 Wait a minute, my brain is exploding. 176 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:29,960 So, then. 177 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:33,880 - The mafia is happy because I'm dead. - I have it. 178 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,320 My sister too because I can keep her company. 179 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,080 - I have it. - And I passed 180 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:40,200 from a debt of two million euros 181 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:44,560 - at 3,000 euros per month. - Great, how great. 182 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:47,080 You're making me want it to die too. 183 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:04,520 Stay still there, good girl. 184 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:11,960 You're good, huh. 185 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,920 Stop right there, well done. 186 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:20,440 Stay still. 187 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:23,200 [hum] 188 00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:28,960 What the fuck. 189 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:32,920 Good. Stay there. 190 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,640 Here it is! Now I'll kill you! 191 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:36,960 I'll kill you! 192 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:40,720 No! 193 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,280 No, no, no, no! 194 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:43,360 No! 195 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:45,800 Fuck. 196 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,520 [screams in anger] 197 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:09,400 But sorry, after all this tram tram, why did you put yourself in a coffin? 198 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,560 Ah, no, it's true, I have to explain it to you. 199 00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:15,480 We made a small mortuary at home, made with all the trappings, 200 00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:18,560 even with a small ceremony, very touching. 201 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:20,320 I was a little moved too. 202 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:24,360 On the other hand, in short, the loan sharks wanted to see me dead. 203 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:26,200 Except, you know, I... 204 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,960 - I couldn't go home by taxi. - Eh, no, no. 205 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,960 Some friends told me that you can breathe 206 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:36,440 in a coffin for a maximum of two hours. 207 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:42,560 Let's say that from home to Umbria, what will it take? An hour and a quarter, right? 208 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:45,040 And the traffic jam ruined you this whole grand plan. 209 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:47,600 Holy shit, the guards coming. 210 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:49,120 No, no, I don't... 211 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,520 - I'm coming back, I'm coming back. - But what are you coming back? 212 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,280 Come, I'm without a license, 213 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,520 if they stop me we're dead, but really dead. 214 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,520 - Come on, you drive. - No, no, no, I can't. 215 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,360 It's a matter of life and death. 216 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:03,720 And then you have your license of your brother-in-law which is full of points. 217 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:06,800 - Wait. - Force! 218 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,160 Wait a minute. 219 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,200 Come on, come on, come on. 220 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:15,200 - Wait, wait. - Be careful with the gearbox which is long. 221 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:18,920 The flowers are poisoning me. Shit, where did you buy them? 222 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:21,800 Where the fuck did you buy them? 223 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:24,360 Help me with my fucking leg did she get stuck? 224 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:25,840 - Yes. - Come on, pull, pull. 225 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,640 Easy, I'm not Pinocchio! Floor. Floor. 226 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,400 - Watch out for the flowers. - Yes I know. 227 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:33,040 Fuck sister to his brother, to everyone. 228 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:36,560 - Okay, I'm here. - Did you? 229 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:37,640 Yes, yes, there are. 230 00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:38,880 Go, go, go. 231 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,960 - I'm dead. - Yes, stop, shut up. 232 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,480 Shitty traffic. 233 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:47,320 What time does the jewelry store close? 234 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:48,760 In half an hour. 235 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:51,000 Hi, core. 236 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,760 - We'll never make it. - No. 237 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,280 Or we call them and we ask if they are waiting for us. 238 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,040 They do it with important clients. 239 00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,360 We call them, we keep them open, 240 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,120 then we come and rob them? 241 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,920 - It's rude. - It looks bad. 242 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,800 - It seems bad that yes. - It looks bad. 243 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,640 But sorry, what do we do? 244 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,280 with these watches once we got them? 245 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:15,960 We give them to Carlo, he resells them. He keeps the 70th and gives us the 30th. 246 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:20,160 - That is, he gets 70 and we get 30? - Yes. 247 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,960 That is, him on 10,000 euros you get seven poles and we get 3,000 euros? 248 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:27,360 - And do we also risk being locked up? - Good, everything without a calculator? 249 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,360 - But you don't make me laugh. - Without counting 250 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:34,280 the money to rent the van, the weapons, the balaclavas, the petrol... 251 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:37,800 True, the costs. And add taxes too. 252 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:42,240 - Like taxes? Do we pay taxes? - Of course, Chicco. 253 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:46,400 Oh, INPS, IRPEF, ENPAS, SIAE. 254 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:47,560 Everything to pay. 255 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:50,440 - All withheld. - Really criminals. 256 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:54,400 Even the quiz, the Answer and Win one, the radio one. 257 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:56,840 If you win, they keep half. 258 00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:58,640 They keep it. 259 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,440 But you really don't have a dick to do in life, huh? 260 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:02,760 The quiz on the radio. 261 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,080 Good evening. 262 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:15,680 - Evening. - Can you show us your driving licence? 263 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:17,640 Huh? Oh, yes. 264 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,080 Here you are. 265 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:29,520 - And what is this? - Huh? 266 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:33,560 No, it's a slightly faded photo, it's a photo from a few years ago. 267 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:36,560 He gave us his identity card, we need the license. 268 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,800 I'm a bit confused. 269 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:40,760 Do you understand? I keep them all together. 270 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,560 Excuse me. Here you are. 271 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:45,760 Here you go. 272 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:55,520 Where is it going? 273 00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:58,720 Ah, in Umbria. 274 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:01,760 I'm accompanying this poor man. 275 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:03,640 Peace to his soul. 276 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:05,040 Excuse me, look at me. 277 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:06,240 Yes. 278 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:07,520 Further to the right. 279 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:08,880 Here. 280 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:10,960 Okay, like that. Stop like this. 281 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,120 Come on. 282 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:16,280 His documents. 283 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:17,560 Yes please. 284 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,880 - Goodnight, Alfonso. - Who is Alfonso? 285 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:24,760 - Like who is he? You are Alfonso, aren't you? - Ah, Alfonso, yes. I'm Alfonso, yes. 286 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:27,040 - Good evening, Alfonso. - Good evening, Alfonso. 287 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:33,840 Alfonso. 288 00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:35,720 Alfonso. 289 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:37,640 Now I'm Alfonso. 290 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:45,480 Get out, get out. They left. 291 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:50,520 Great. You're great. And do you know that it's not bad back here? 292 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:52,520 Do one thing. Drive to Umbria. 293 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,800 - I'm turning on a nice pussy. - No, no, no. 294 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,680 I can't drive to Umbria, no. 295 00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:58,800 Why not? 296 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,840 Do you remember when they had me pulled out of that fire? 297 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:04,680 Eh, why not? Mafia, loan sharks, debts. I remember everything. 298 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,840 I have since gone blind. 299 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,400 Get back, go. 300 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,480 One blind, the other without a license. 301 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,920 I want to see how we get there in Umbria. 302 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:32,400 [hum] 303 00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:43,480 Good, stay there. Good. 304 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:45,680 Yes! 305 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:47,760 Tie! 306 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,960 - Greetings. - Good evening. 307 00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:59,120 He thinks he can drive with the windshield in these conditions? 308 00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:00,680 Ninth. 309 00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:03,640 Oh God, it's a story a little long to tell. 310 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:05,520 Give us your license and registration. 311 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:07,880 License and registration? 312 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:10,080 No, no, no. 313 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:12,160 He goes around without registration document? 314 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:15,760 - No, there is, it's in the glove compartment. - Then take it. 315 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:20,120 There's that little bitch in the glove compartment. 316 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,200 Bitch? 317 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,560 No, I didn't call her a bitch. 318 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,960 No, I meant I can't open the glove box. Inside... 319 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:29,840 Then he runs away. 320 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:32,960 Sir, the vehicle documents. 321 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:36,440 No, fly away, then it ruins my life, don't... 322 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,720 - I'm going to get the breathalyzer. - Ninth. 323 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,800 - The documents, the documents. - Yes, ok, ok. 324 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:42,520 Go. 325 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:45,880 [hum] 326 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:06,320 "Our opening hours are from 10.30am to 8.30pm." 327 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:09,680 What a mess, Carlo will definitely be pissed, I'll tell you. 328 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:12,840 We had to make internal roads, we would have arrived a long time ago. 329 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:16,080 - Easy to say it later, you should have said it before. - Oh well. 330 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,760 Coupons, number unknown. 331 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,880 Don't answer, it will be Carlo, leave it alone. 332 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,600 - No, really? - No, no, no. 333 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,120 - Come on! Yes? - [man] Do you know what I want? 334 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:27,520 Look, I don't know what you want, but if you call me in Carlo's name, 335 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,040 say the plan fell through, nothing is done anymore. 336 00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:32,280 Do you think this do you answer my phone? 337 00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,720 - Do you know what I want? - Oh, what did he tell you? 338 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:37,880 But what do I know, he's asking me: "Do you know what I want?" 339 00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:42,320 We'll give you some more time. 340 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:43,960 It's the quiz. 341 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,680 It's the radio quiz, the Reply and Win one. 342 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:50,680 - What the fuck are you talking about? - So, then, listen to me. 343 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:55,640 To win you have to answer "grandmother's pension". Go. 344 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:59,200 - But don't talk bullshit! - Go, say it! Grandma's pension! 345 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,440 Win pension for a month. 346 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:03,760 - Go. Tell him something. - What are you saying? 347 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:04,840 Go, say it. 348 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:08,880 [softly] Trust me. Go, go, go. Grandmother's pension. 349 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:12,520 Time is almost over, I'll try again one last time. 350 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,040 Do you know what I want? 351 00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:18,720 And say it. 352 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:19,880 The... 353 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,120 Grandma's pension? 354 00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:29,120 And finally! Congratulations! You're live on Radio Rock, 355 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:33,400 this is Reply and Win and you just won 3,000 euros. 356 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:37,640 Precisely my grandmother's pension, a super pension 357 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,960 as there are no more. What is your name? 358 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:44,080 What is your name? So, can you hear me? 359 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,280 - Pio? - What is this, a question? 360 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:51,560 No, no, I'm telling you. Pious. My name is Pio. 361 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:53,440 Good, Pio. And where are you from? 362 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:55,440 Of... 363 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,520 - De Puglia. - From Puglia? 364 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:02,160 - I imagine San Giovanni Rotondo. - Oh, yes, over there. Well done, well done. 365 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:03,600 A fraction, let's say. 366 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:07,960 And tell us a little, Pio, What will you buy with these 3,000 euros? 367 00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:09,960 And well, with 3,000 euros 368 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:13,520 I wanted to buy a watch there to give as a gift... 369 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,720 I share them with some friends, eh, fair shares. 370 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:21,200 But what a nice gesture, share the victory with friends, 371 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:25,240 I'm glad the money is arrived right in your pocket, 372 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,200 a good person like you. 373 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:32,120 Best wishes and stay tune in to Radio Rock. 374 00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:35,240 Thank you, thank you, many things, bye, bye. 375 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,680 Guys, three thousand euros! Three thousand euros! 376 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,240 But how beautiful they are the pensions of the past? 377 00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:44,920 - A thousand, a thousand and a thousand! - Three thousand euros! 378 00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:46,360 Come on! 379 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,200 Are these taxed? 380 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:51,760 I think so. 381 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,160 - I'm in pieces. - Okay, come on. 382 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:56,600 Not bad. 383 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,320 [hum] 384 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:17,960 I'll kill you. 385 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:21,880 [horn] 386 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:23,280 What the fuck do you sound like? 387 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:25,920 [inaudible voice] 388 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:26,960 ...there's the fly. 389 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,160 [horn] 390 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:29,280 Again? 391 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:31,240 'This fucking... 392 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:32,880 Open up a little. 393 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:34,840 What the fuck do you sound like? 394 00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:36,480 What the fuck do you sound like? 395 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:00,880 Here it is, the mirror. 396 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:09,560 [hum] 397 00:23:18,120 --> 00:23:19,480 [scream of anger] 398 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:22,320 - Sonia! - Huh? 399 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:26,680 - An ambulance is coming! - Oh, well done! Shoot! Take the photo! 400 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,080 Sorry if I get in the way, 401 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:34,640 but it's not like you can have them sent a photo on your phone? 402 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:36,920 So at least we understand what's going on. 403 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:38,040 Ah, well done! 404 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:39,720 Wedding ring! 405 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:42,600 - Tell me! - Do something, 406 00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:45,160 send a photo from your profile to mine, understand? 407 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:47,440 As if you were me. 408 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:50,640 But with your phone? 409 00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:52,840 - This is crazy. - Eh, well. 410 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:58,240 Oh yes, Faith! Send a photo like I'm at mine, you know? 411 00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,080 - Come on, come on! - Got it, got it. 412 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,240 It's not difficult. 413 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:06,240 Done. Wait what I'll do also a photo of the ambulance. 414 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:09,960 "Colleague pain in the ass, don't answer"? 415 00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:11,920 What does it mean? 416 00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:17,200 It means he memorized you as "pain in the ass colleague and don't answer". 417 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:18,520 And what does it mean? 418 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:23,280 Sorry darling, I'm sorry, but it's clear enough. 419 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,320 You are the other one. 420 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:33,640 Wedding ring! 421 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:35,240 Tell me! 422 00:24:35,360 --> 00:24:39,640 Because you memorized me "pain in the ass colleague don't answer"? 423 00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:45,280 No, Sonia, it's not what you think. 424 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:49,040 Come on, explain to me how it is, before I think another thing. 425 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:51,160 Come on, explain it to me. 426 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:53,640 You let me down so I can explain. 427 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,160 You still don't understand what doesn't this thing work? 428 00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:59,080 - It's broken, I can't let you off. - What, broken? 429 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:02,080 Oh yes, and then don't change the subject anyway. 430 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:05,960 Because you memorized me "pain in the ass colleague don't answer"? 431 00:25:06,120 --> 00:25:07,760 Oh, Sonia! 432 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,080 Call someone! 433 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,440 Make him come here, who can help us, come on! 434 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,840 But do you know what there is? I would like to call the operational headquarters, right? 435 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,120 But it could be that they don't answer me. 436 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:21,240 Because they read "pain in the ass colleague don't answer". 437 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:24,240 - And they don't answer, understand? - It's probable. 438 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:26,360 Sonia, darling, 439 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:30,560 I'm not coming down, I can't explain to you the situation is good, right?