1
00:03:27,606 --> 00:03:29,403
恭喜老爺，賀喜老爺

2
00:03:32,611 --> 00:03:33,771
阿鮑

3
00:03:37,115 --> 00:03:39,021
-生了    -我媽又生了….

4
00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:44,221
我媽又生了

5
00:03:44,522 --> 00:03:47,351
我媽又生了

6
00:03:50,651 --> 00:03:53,451
我媽又生了

7
00:03:53,531 --> 00:03:56,828
我媽又生了

8
00:03:58,328 --> 00:04:01,940
-我媽又生了    -你媽又生了個什麼呀？

9
00:04:02,140 --> 00:04:05,234
大姐，媽又生了

10
00:04:05,644 --> 00:04:07,942
生了個龍還是鳳啊？

11
00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:11,645
-大姐，媽又生了    -走，咱們去看看

12
00:04:11,950 --> 00:04:15,149
二姐，媽又生了

13
00:04:15,153 --> 00:04:16,781
媽又生了個什麼呀？

14
00:04:17,181 --> 00:04:18,681
媽又生了什麼啦？

15
00:04:19,057 --> 00:04:21,651
媽…

16
00:04:22,060 --> 00:04:25,063
你別老是媽…媽的，說生龍還是生鳳

17
00:04:25,163 --> 00:04:27,563
媽…媽又生了十條牛

18
00:04:27,666 --> 00:04:30,362
二姐，我們不用打進冷宮了

19
00:04:30,462 --> 00:04:32,362
就是，我們不用打進冷宮了

20
00:04:33,171 --> 00:04:35,571
媽又生了十條牛

21
00:04:45,083 --> 00:04:47,809
你媽也真不爭氣，害得我爹…

22
00:04:49,888 --> 00:04:53,091
猴崽子，我媽生什麼，關你爹屁事

23
00:04:53,191 --> 00:04:56,188
生龍，你還不住手，你也太過分了

24
00:04:56,695 --> 00:04:59,186
爹說過，不准跟少林小子眉來眼去

25
00:04:59,197 --> 00:05:01,162
不准對歌，不准講話

26
00:05:01,199 --> 00:05:03,258
你們不服，跟爹說去

27
00:05:06,905 --> 00:05:09,401
假小子，你別拿著雞毛當令箭

28
00:05:09,708 --> 00:05:10,698
男人婆

29
00:05:13,198 --> 00:05:15,498
拉，拉，把她拉下水

30
00:05:15,598 --> 00:05:16,212
拉呀…

31
00:05:16,213 --> 00:05:19,049
打她，我們少林派不能輸給褲襠派

32
00:05:19,549 --> 00:05:20,417
拉下來…

33
00:05:20,418 --> 00:05:23,512
有本事一起過來吧，本少爺不怕

34
00:05:24,022 --> 00:05:27,283
少爺？你是少爺？笑死人了

35
00:05:27,726 --> 00:05:31,418
她說她是少爺，就是少了一點兒

36
00:05:40,739 --> 00:05:42,400
好…

37
00:05:43,642 --> 00:05:46,040
好男不跟女鬥，快放手吧

38
00:05:46,244 --> 00:05:49,245
不能放手，一放手我們少林派就輸給褲襠派了

39
00:05:49,648 --> 00:05:51,810
對…不能放手…

40
00:05:51,910 --> 00:05:55,110
-打啊…    -使勁打啊…

41
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:58,593
三龍哥來了

42
00:06:11,769 --> 00:06:13,227
給我們出口氣

43
00:06:24,182 --> 00:06:26,182
唐伯虎，這招叫什麼呀？

44
00:06:26,184 --> 00:06:27,943
這叫游龍戲鳳

45
00:06:38,592 --> 00:06:40,790
三姐…小心

46
00:06:41,499 --> 00:06:42,294
好

47
00:06:43,802 --> 00:06:44,996
誰要你拍馬屁

48
00:06:50,396 --> 00:06:51,096
三姐

49
00:06:52,811 --> 00:06:53,910
還不來幫一把

50
00:06:53,910 --> 00:06:54,810
來了…

51
00:06:56,510 --> 00:06:57,310
使勁

52
00:07:05,123 --> 00:07:08,415
這是不是褲襠派的絕招，四腳朝天哪

53
00:07:08,827 --> 00:07:11,489
不對，這叫樹倒猢猻散

54
00:07:20,338 --> 00:07:26,641
水晶宮，樂無窮，猛龍喚雨又呼風

55
00:07:26,845 --> 00:07:35,446
自由自在任遨遊，飛上天空畫彩虹

56
00:07:37,856 --> 00:07:44,420
鳳非鳳，龍非龍，龍眉龍眼龍鼻孔

57
00:07:44,863 --> 00:07:47,161
露出尾巴不像龍

58
00:07:47,365 --> 00:07:48,764
是什麼呀？

59
00:07:49,167 --> 00:07:52,671
原來，原來是隻鳳

60
00:07:52,871 --> 00:07:54,668
原來是隻鳳

61
00:07:55,373 --> 00:08:01,808
對面河邊一隻鳳，像個可憐蟲

62
00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:09,080
像個可憐蟲，山雞哪能飛上天

63
00:08:09,087 --> 00:08:10,989
蝦米哪能坐龍宮

64
00:08:10,989 --> 00:08:12,418
三姐，他們是不是在唱你呀？

65
00:08:12,418 --> 00:08:13,191
不許聽

66
00:08:13,892 --> 00:08:18,295
笑死你的小祖宗，笑死你的小祖宗

67
00:08:23,401 --> 00:08:26,427
笑死你的小祖宗

68
00:08:27,906 --> 00:08:29,703
三姐，他們明明是在唱你

69
00:08:29,908 --> 00:08:31,608
這麼壞，我回敬他幾句

70
00:08:31,910 --> 00:08:33,070
不許唱

71
00:08:42,671 --> 00:08:45,531
這包當歸，你明天送去給鳳媽

72
00:08:45,874 --> 00:08:47,569
算是咱們一點心意

73
00:08:47,776 --> 00:08:49,744
她媽又生鳳，我們還…

74
00:08:50,578 --> 00:08:52,682
難道生龍才要補身嗎？

75
00:08:53,582 --> 00:08:55,173
鮑笙鳳生不出龍

76
00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:57,177
要十條牛才能換隻鳳

77
00:08:57,986 --> 00:08:59,847
我們辛辛苦苦捱了十年

78
00:08:59,889 --> 00:09:01,691
才存了三條半牛

79
00:09:02,191 --> 00:09:03,522
分明是難為我們

80
00:09:04,193 --> 00:09:06,894
只要肯捱，總會有一天

81
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:11,255
你看，這半年我們又存夠了一條牛腿

82
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:13,597
就算你有了十條牛

83
00:09:13,802 --> 00:09:17,095
那我的十條牛，要等到哪年啊？

84
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:21,401
等我們有了十條牛，你先娶二鳳吧

85
00:09:21,601 --> 00:09:22,301
你…

86
00:09:22,711 --> 00:09:24,208
這我能幹得出來嗎？

87
00:10:01,449 --> 00:10:03,747
真蠢，牛都不會畫

88
00:10:18,468 --> 00:10:19,500
你幹什麼？

89
00:10:21,669 --> 00:10:22,870
牛是四隻腳的嘛

90
00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:23,930
你懂個屁

91
00:10:30,079 --> 00:10:30,941
怎麼啦？

92
00:10:31,041 --> 00:10:32,241
屁股…

93
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:35,783
真是的

94
00:10:36,484 --> 00:10:38,976
露出屁股，還有梅花點哪

95
00:10:41,489 --> 00:10:43,491
還笑，一點同情心都沒有

96
00:10:43,491 --> 00:10:45,550
誰叫你畫牛添足哪

97
00:10:46,595 --> 00:10:48,485
還有個小尾巴

98
00:10:49,497 --> 00:10:50,557
還不練功去

99
00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:52,056
走…

100
00:10:55,002 --> 00:10:56,799
童子拜觀音

101
00:11:02,410 --> 00:11:03,699
羅漢打樁

102
00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:12,679
騰雲駕霧

103
00:11:25,833 --> 00:11:27,201
飛越天門

104
00:11:30,538 --> 00:11:32,233
美人照鏡

105
00:11:35,643 --> 00:11:36,941
美人

106
00:11:37,241 --> 00:11:40,441
停，這招叫什麼？

107
00:11:40,548 --> 00:11:42,081
美人照鏡

108
00:11:42,085 --> 00:11:44,986
照鏡？照鏡是這樣的嗎？

109
00:11:51,058 --> 00:11:53,049
古里古怪的，什麼都學

110
00:11:57,064 --> 00:12:00,864
對面河邊一隻鳳，像個可憐蟲

111
00:12:02,069 --> 00:12:05,067
笑人家是鳳不是龍，鳳有什麼不好

112
00:12:05,573 --> 00:12:07,063
我們家就少了一隻鳳

113
00:12:07,074 --> 00:12:10,635
我要的是條龍，繼承我的武當劍法

114
00:12:10,878 --> 00:12:12,880
可你媽的肚子就是不爭氣

115
00:12:12,980 --> 00:12:15,806
生來生去都是鳳、鳳、鳳

116
00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:19,882
生鳳也不全是媽的錯

117
00:12:22,089 --> 00:12:24,180
爹，你可以把我當龍

118
00:12:24,592 --> 00:12:26,184
我會把武當劍練好的

119
00:12:27,495 --> 00:12:30,093
你最聽話，十八年前

120
00:12:30,198 --> 00:12:32,099
你還在你媽肚子裡的時候

121
00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:36,399
我就給你取了個名字叫生龍，可惜呀

122
00:12:36,404 --> 00:12:37,669
可惜什麼，爹？

123
00:12:38,906 --> 00:12:41,374
可惜生下來的還是隻鳳

124
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:44,844
鳳，遲早都要飛走的

125
00:12:45,112 --> 00:12:48,778
不會，爹，我是龍，不會飛走的

126
00:12:50,118 --> 00:12:53,319
非龍非鳳的，能飛到哪兒去？

127
00:12:53,521 --> 00:12:54,222
你…

128
00:12:54,822 --> 00:12:56,913
將來你們飛到哪一家都行

129
00:12:57,225 --> 00:12:58,828
就不許飛到龍家

130
00:13:00,630 --> 00:13:04,121
想娶我的女兒，偷我的武當劍法，做夢

131
00:13:04,632 --> 00:13:07,424
天下功夫出少林，放屁

132
00:13:09,036 --> 00:13:11,798
只有武當劍法，才是天下無雙

133
00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:13,834
今後，你們只許學劍

134
00:13:14,642 --> 00:13:17,377
誰也不誰偷學少林功夫

135
00:13:43,370 --> 00:13:45,061
不許停，練

136
00:13:48,075 --> 00:13:50,509
再練一百遍，誰偷懶，沒飯吃

137
00:13:51,779 --> 00:13:53,470
我寧願不吃飯了

138
00:13:53,881 --> 00:13:55,544
不成，練

139
00:14:03,291 --> 00:14:04,890
真是個王八蛋

140
00:14:05,392 --> 00:14:06,386
你罵誰？

141
00:14:07,094 --> 00:14:09,192
我剛才看見你嘴裡也叭叭叭

142
00:14:09,197 --> 00:14:10,799
我也看見了…

143
00:14:11,799 --> 00:14:13,460
難道你們都沒有叭叭叭？

144
00:14:13,901 --> 00:14:15,801
那我們沒有不承認啊…

145
00:14:16,204 --> 00:14:19,639
好，男子漢大丈夫，有膽量就罵出聲來

146
00:14:19,907 --> 00:14:21,738
-在這兒罵？    -在這兒罵呀？

147
00:14:23,811 --> 00:14:28,014
一…二…三…爹…是…王…八…蛋

148
00:14:29,814 --> 00:14:31,014
有膽量…

149
00:14:31,418 --> 00:14:33,409
再來一次，爹是王八蛋

150
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:38,724
一…二…三…爹…是…王…八…蛋

151
00:14:39,224 --> 00:14:40,121
爹來了

152
00:15:21,968 --> 00:15:25,598
今天是叫你們練累了，好好睡一覺吧

153
00:15:35,182 --> 00:15:36,040
爹

154
00:15:36,684 --> 00:15:37,480
爹

155
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:39,380
爹

156
00:15:39,580 --> 00:15:43,780
爹…

157
00:15:44,692 --> 00:15:46,250
你們又搞什麼鬼了？

158
00:15:46,494 --> 00:15:48,896
爹，我們對不起你

159
00:15:48,896 --> 00:15:50,096
我們剛才罵了你

160
00:15:50,097 --> 00:15:51,060
罵我？

161
00:15:51,999 --> 00:15:54,567
罵我什麼？再罵給我聽聽

162
00:15:57,505 --> 00:16:01,097
爹，我們罵給你聽，你可別發火

163
00:16:02,009 --> 00:16:04,940
行，罵吧，痛痛快快地罵吧

164
00:16:06,614 --> 00:16:08,243
你喊一、二、三吧

165
00:16:09,817 --> 00:16:12,312
一、二、三

166
00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:14,683
爹是王八蛋…

167
00:16:16,023 --> 00:16:16,751
大聲點

168
00:16:17,024 --> 00:16:19,015
爹是王八蛋…

169
00:16:21,028 --> 00:16:23,326
爹，你說過不發火嘛

170
00:16:23,531 --> 00:16:24,964
爹…

171
00:16:25,533 --> 00:16:28,969
爹，我並不是你們的爹

172
00:16:29,036 --> 00:16:33,330
爹，你是我們的爹…

173
00:16:33,941 --> 00:16:38,000
如果你們的爹，當年身上有功夫

174
00:16:38,245 --> 00:16:40,645
就不會家毀人亡了

175
00:16:46,775 --> 00:16:51,678
十年前，禿鷹山的強盜，搶劫你們家的村莊

176
00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:55,678
你們的爹娘，死的死，傷的傷

177
00:16:56,380 --> 00:17:00,017
我和弟弟二龍，從少林寺學藝回鄉

178
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:02,846
路見不平，拚死相救

179
00:17:11,646 --> 00:17:12,446
大嫂

180
00:17:12,546 --> 00:17:13,446
大叔

181
00:17:17,246 --> 00:17:18,046
我來

182
00:17:33,946 --> 00:17:35,446
救命啊

183
00:17:36,146 --> 00:17:37,546
救命啊

184
00:18:07,551 --> 00:18:08,551
大哥，怎麼樣？

185
00:18:08,553 --> 00:18:10,545
沒事，快，快上車，快

186
00:18:10,855 --> 00:18:12,345
殺…

187
00:18:15,859 --> 00:18:17,450
拚死也要把孩子們救出去

188
00:18:17,450 --> 00:18:18,050
好

189
00:18:48,993 --> 00:18:50,192
二龍，快上車

190
00:18:50,592 --> 00:18:51,292
來了

191
00:19:04,208 --> 00:19:06,105
-追，快追    -大哥…

192
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:09,471
給我殺

193
00:19:09,514 --> 00:19:13,315
我打瞎了禿鷹的一隻眼睛，把你們救了出來

194
00:19:13,918 --> 00:19:18,120
快十年了，把你們八個從小拉扯大

195
00:19:19,123 --> 00:19:20,984
真不容易呀

196
00:19:22,627 --> 00:19:25,892
那我們以後叫師父，還是叫爹呀？

197
00:19:26,130 --> 00:19:27,162
當然叫爹了

198
00:19:27,165 --> 00:19:29,258
叫爹，當然叫爹了

199
00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:33,795
爹，您請上坐

200
00:19:36,539 --> 00:19:39,605
爹爹在上，請受孩兒們一拜

201
00:19:42,546 --> 00:19:45,540
爹，你辛辛苦苦把我們養大

202
00:19:45,740 --> 00:19:47,340
你是我們的親爹

203
00:19:49,553 --> 00:19:52,545
爹，你還教我們少林功夫

204
00:19:53,056 --> 00:19:54,956
你對我們真是恩…恩…

205
00:19:55,058 --> 00:19:56,458
恩重如山

206
00:19:56,460 --> 00:19:59,820
恩…恩重如山，請再受孩兒們一拜吧

207
00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:03,720
好…起來吧

208
00:20:04,366 --> 00:20:06,964
你們一個個都是乖孩子

209
00:20:07,571 --> 00:20:12,099
爹…

210
00:20:18,282 --> 00:20:19,806
最搗蛋的就是你

211
00:20:21,485 --> 00:20:24,479
爹，最搗蛋的是我，你罰我吧

212
00:20:50,013 --> 00:20:51,007
疼不疼？

213
00:20:51,215 --> 00:20:54,113
不疼，我早就讓你扎慣了

214
00:21:03,927 --> 00:21:07,121
干細活，爹笨手笨腳的

215
00:21:10,434 --> 00:21:12,859
你們就是少了一個媽媽

216
00:21:15,055 --> 00:21:16,723
他媽的，十年了

217
00:21:16,758 --> 00:21:18,790
這瞎眼之仇幾時才能報

218
00:21:29,370 --> 00:21:31,970
老大，憑咱眾兄弟現在的功夫

219
00:21:31,972 --> 00:21:35,132
還怕對付不了幾個少林小子，動手吧

220
00:21:35,475 --> 00:21:38,235
對啊，老大，鳳村可是塊肥肉

221
00:21:38,378 --> 00:21:41,581
干它一下，哥們起碼可以風流十年八載的

222
00:21:42,481 --> 00:21:44,482
鮑笙鳳那幾個小妞

223
00:21:44,484 --> 00:21:48,478
眉毛彎彎，腰兒細細，屁股大大的

224
00:21:49,590 --> 00:21:51,214
你以為我兩眼全瞎嗎？

225
00:21:51,392 --> 00:21:53,890
龍河這邊是少林正宗，那邊是武當嫡傳

226
00:21:53,894 --> 00:21:55,061
我們對付得了嗎？

227
00:21:55,095 --> 00:21:55,794
老大

228
00:21:55,894 --> 00:21:56,796
有屁快放

229
00:21:56,897 --> 00:21:58,865
老二，有何妙計，說出來聽聽

230
00:21:58,899 --> 00:22:01,863
少林、武當，自古水火不容

231
00:22:02,102 --> 00:22:04,866
只要想辦法，讓他們自相殘殺

232
00:22:04,905 --> 00:22:07,066
這瞎眼之仇，還怕報不了嗎？

233
00:22:07,107 --> 00:22:08,802
對…快說下去

234
00:22:08,909 --> 00:22:11,409
到時候，保證讓弟兄們到鮑家去

235
00:22:11,412 --> 00:22:14,613
殺雞宰牛，共享溫柔

236
00:22:42,343 --> 00:22:46,837
信士鮑笙鳳，一向樂善好施

237
00:22:46,947 --> 00:22:50,674
不求榮華富貴，只望得一男丁

238
00:22:50,951 --> 00:22:52,919
可惜九索皆鳳

239
00:22:53,354 --> 00:22:56,846
今奉上薄酒素果，聊表心意

240
00:22:56,957 --> 00:23:00,888
他日若得神明保佑，鮑家有龍

241
00:23:00,961 --> 00:23:04,362
定金豬厚禮，酬謝神恩

242
00:23:06,166 --> 00:23:09,832
對啊，菩薩也不喜歡老是吃素

243
00:23:10,070 --> 00:23:11,572
道長，你看我

244
00:23:11,572 --> 00:23:14,072
像不像是生不出兒子的那種人呢？

245
00:23:15,576 --> 00:23:17,678
居士有超凡入聖之身

246
00:23:17,978 --> 00:23:21,874
但屢次求龍得鳳，實與風水有關

247
00:23:22,683 --> 00:23:24,742
請道長指點迷津

248
00:23:30,491 --> 00:23:33,324
聽說武當劍怎麼厲害，誰也沒見他耍過

249
00:23:33,393 --> 00:23:35,194
就是，人家少林派就不同

250
00:23:35,394 --> 00:23:37,058
刀、槍、棍、棒什麼都肯教

251
00:23:37,097 --> 00:23:40,097
怪不得都說天下功夫出少林

252
00:23:40,100 --> 00:23:40,764
對

253
00:23:43,703 --> 00:23:44,600
伯父

254
00:23:46,006 --> 00:23:47,869
怎麼叫伯父，不叫岳父？

255
00:23:48,008 --> 00:23:49,968
牛哥，你看上哪隻鳳了？

256
00:23:49,977 --> 00:23:50,610
去…

257
00:23:51,011 --> 00:23:53,837
老是生不出龍，難道是天生異形？

258
00:23:55,337 --> 00:23:56,007
你們…

259
00:23:56,016 --> 00:23:58,507
居士息怒，辦正事要緊

260
00:23:58,519 --> 00:24:00,419
是，道長請

261
00:24:02,223 --> 00:24:06,425
福人居福地，福地居福人

262
00:24:08,028 --> 00:24:10,324
好一塊龍陽之地

263
00:24:10,331 --> 00:24:14,630
龍當門者大吉昌，理應早生貴子

264
00:24:14,935 --> 00:24:15,866
是啊…

265
00:24:18,639 --> 00:24:20,239
道長，有何不妥？

266
00:24:20,241 --> 00:24:21,603
對面山頭是什麼人？

267
00:24:21,642 --> 00:24:23,533
三龍哥…

268
00:24:24,344 --> 00:24:25,539
三龍哥，龜

269
00:24:25,739 --> 00:24:26,246
蛋

270
00:24:26,247 --> 00:24:28,247
什麼，你們罵三龍哥龜蛋

271
00:24:28,349 --> 00:24:31,213
不，我請三龍哥吃烤烏龜

272
00:24:31,252 --> 00:24:32,344
還有我的鳥蛋

273
00:24:33,754 --> 00:24:35,856
今天吃龍肉都沒胃口

274
00:24:35,856 --> 00:24:37,947
你想吃什麼？我們給你找去

275
00:24:37,947 --> 00:24:38,458
我們給你找

276
00:24:38,459 --> 00:24:39,756
我想要隻鳳

277
00:24:40,060 --> 00:24:44,023
對岸共居十龍，剛陽氣盛

278
00:24:44,264 --> 00:24:49,065
猶如巨屏大障，阻陰柔之氣外洩

279
00:24:49,069 --> 00:24:51,367
擋龍陽之氣內進

280
00:24:51,772 --> 00:24:56,602
於是乎陰盛陽衰，求龍而偏得鳳也

281
00:24:57,278 --> 00:25:00,679
弟子一向造橋鋪路，廣積陰德

282
00:25:00,781 --> 00:25:03,409
道長，可有求龍之道嗎？

283
00:25:04,484 --> 00:25:06,584
你當初不該收留他們

284
00:25:06,787 --> 00:25:11,447
居士欲一索得男，應當機立斷

285
00:25:12,392 --> 00:25:14,194
如果讓大鳳姐做我們媽

286
00:25:14,194 --> 00:25:17,593
爹開心，我們又能學到武當劍，那該多好

287
00:25:17,698 --> 00:25:18,956
是啊…

288
00:25:19,300 --> 00:25:20,501
爹只有三條半牛

289
00:25:20,601 --> 00:25:22,692
鮑笙鳳要我們十條牛

290
00:25:23,804 --> 00:25:25,833
鮑笙鳳最喜歡那假小子

291
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:29,068
她肯美言幾句，爹的婚事准有希望

292
00:25:29,610 --> 00:25:31,211
可惜，那天得罪了她

293
00:25:31,311 --> 00:25:33,211
連朋友都做不成了還想攀親哪？

294
00:25:33,213 --> 00:25:34,510
-全怪你…    -都怪你…

295
00:25:34,515 --> 00:25:37,012
你們沒份啊，連三龍哥還噴她一臉水呢

296
00:25:37,017 --> 00:25:38,382
我去向她賠禮道歉

297
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,222
你就這樣去見她呀，准又打起來

298
00:25:42,322 --> 00:25:43,589
是啊，得體面點兒

299
00:25:43,689 --> 00:25:44,424
對啊

300
00:25:45,025 --> 00:25:48,317
對，佛靠金裝，人靠衣裝

301
00:25:48,329 --> 00:25:50,822
去把爹的新郎衣偷來，走啊

302
00:25:52,032 --> 00:25:54,034
怎麼爹的新郎褲，這麼大呀

303
00:25:54,034 --> 00:25:57,333
人逢喜事嘛，那陣子爹一定心寬體胖

304
00:25:57,638 --> 00:26:00,265
你們別亂搞，爹的新郎衣要弄壞了

305
00:26:00,365 --> 00:26:01,341
我也沒命的

306
00:26:01,342 --> 00:26:03,039
一個水桶都放得進

307
00:26:03,344 --> 00:26:06,237
我們家最漂亮的就是一件了

308
00:26:07,237 --> 00:26:09,737
-像個大傻瓜…    -不倫不類的

309
00:26:09,948 --> 00:26:12,953
這怎麼能給假小子一個好印象呢？

310
00:26:13,053 --> 00:26:17,820
這個你放心，到時候我自會風度翩翩

311
00:26:20,861 --> 00:26:23,955
小姐，小生有禮

312
00:26:24,865 --> 00:26:25,957
有禮

313
00:26:29,169 --> 00:26:29,831
不對

314
00:26:29,870 --> 00:26:33,203
那假小子，最不喜歡人家叫她小姐了

315
00:26:33,374 --> 00:26:34,768
那叫鳳姐

316
00:26:34,875 --> 00:26:36,001
不行…

317
00:26:36,277 --> 00:26:37,275
叫龍哥

318
00:26:37,378 --> 00:26:39,175
不是龍…

319
00:26:39,380 --> 00:26:41,382
對了，叫鳳哥

320
00:26:41,382 --> 00:26:42,679
-對…    -好啊…

321
00:26:42,883 --> 00:26:44,675
就叫鳳哥，叫鳳哥

322
00:26:52,543 --> 00:27:00,382
天上的鳥兒成雙地飛

323
00:27:00,551 --> 00:27:08,549
河中的魚兒成對地游

324
00:27:12,563 --> 00:27:20,975
妹盼阿哥來作伴

325
00:27:21,175 --> 00:27:28,375
太陽落山悄悄候

326
00:27:48,598 --> 00:27:49,393
你們看

327
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:51,358
二叔真是色膽包天了

328
00:27:51,602 --> 00:27:53,902
給鮑笙鳳看見就前功盡棄了

329
00:27:54,505 --> 00:27:55,999
你不怕二叔的拳頭啊

330
00:28:05,816 --> 00:28:07,113
就知道傻笑

331
00:28:07,217 --> 00:28:10,081
歌不會唱，難道話都不會講了嗎？

332
00:28:12,122 --> 00:28:15,783
我…給你…給你媽的

333
00:28:18,128 --> 00:28:20,062
壞了，巫婆又出現了

334
00:28:20,130 --> 00:28:21,592
今天不許出口傷人

335
00:28:23,333 --> 00:28:26,427
二姐，難道你忘了爹的囑咐嗎？

336
00:28:28,137 --> 00:28:29,234
還不回家去

337
00:28:30,734 --> 00:28:31,534
二鳳

338
00:28:33,143 --> 00:28:35,475
不許過來，回去

339
00:28:37,547 --> 00:28:40,947
一腳牛屎，不認識字嗎？

340
00:28:42,053 --> 00:28:44,544
這…你…你…

341
00:28:45,656 --> 00:28:46,748
你想怎麼樣？

342
00:28:46,848 --> 00:28:47,848
氣死我了

343
00:28:49,159 --> 00:28:51,618
你以為咬牙切齒，張眉突眼

344
00:28:51,662 --> 00:28:53,559
我就怕你了嗎？來呀

345
00:28:54,364 --> 00:28:57,365
二叔，爹找你回去耕田

346
00:28:57,965 --> 00:28:59,165
-二叔    -幹嘛？

347
00:28:59,269 --> 00:29:02,329
二叔，好男不跟女鬥，快回去吧

348
00:29:10,279 --> 00:29:11,113
三龍哥

349
00:29:11,313 --> 00:29:13,313
-該你出馬了    -看我的…

350
00:29:13,684 --> 00:29:15,549
-去呀…    -鳳哥

351
00:29:16,586 --> 00:29:17,418
鳳哥

352
00:29:20,418 --> 00:29:22,218
小生有禮

353
00:29:23,293 --> 00:29:26,556
怎麼，今天猴子要耍把戲嗎？

354
00:29:27,897 --> 00:29:31,128
小生三龍，因家遭劫難

355
00:29:31,401 --> 00:29:35,497
自幼父母雙亡，不知爹姓什麼

356
00:29:36,305 --> 00:29:38,700
我知道，你是神經病

357
00:29:38,708 --> 00:29:39,509
鳳哥請留步

358
00:29:39,609 --> 00:29:41,110
-你想幹什麼？    -鳳哥

359
00:29:41,611 --> 00:29:43,812
咱們共住一條河，同飲一河水

360
00:29:43,912 --> 00:29:45,804
本來早就成兩親家

361
00:29:45,915 --> 00:29:50,379
上次多多得罪，今天特來送禮賠罪

362
00:29:54,924 --> 00:29:55,891
站住

363
00:29:56,426 --> 00:29:57,586
回家去

364
00:29:58,628 --> 00:30:01,629
我爹說過，少林派沒有一個好人

365
00:30:01,731 --> 00:30:03,799
你們是想偷我家的武當劍法

366
00:30:04,434 --> 00:30:05,835
鳳哥誤會了

367
00:30:05,835 --> 00:30:09,894
誤會？再在這兒耍賴皮，別怪我不客氣

368
00:30:10,139 --> 00:30:10,937
鳳哥

369
00:30:11,537 --> 00:30:12,337
她怎麼了？

370
00:30:12,537 --> 00:30:13,341
快追啊

371
00:30:15,342 --> 00:30:17,905
鳳哥息怒，三龍還有話說

372
00:30:18,448 --> 00:30:20,316
越過界線，格殺勿論

373
00:30:23,853 --> 00:30:25,252
君子動口不動手

374
00:30:29,660 --> 00:30:32,860
三龍哥，小心爹的新郎衣呀

375
00:30:33,060 --> 00:30:34,260
我知道

376
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:47,560
三龍哥，你怎麼了？

377
00:30:47,576 --> 00:30:49,435
顯點功夫，讓她開開眼

378
00:30:49,479 --> 00:30:50,673
對，讓她開開眼

379
00:30:51,073 --> 00:30:52,073
來吧

380
00:30:52,482 --> 00:30:53,574
好啊

381
00:31:01,991 --> 00:31:03,083
給我滾回去

382
00:31:24,914 --> 00:31:25,938
好個屁

383
00:31:31,221 --> 00:31:32,385
-好    -好棍

384
00:31:38,027 --> 00:31:39,527
三姐…

385
00:31:40,227 --> 00:31:42,027
打得好…

386
00:31:42,927 --> 00:31:44,527
三姐…

387
00:31:44,534 --> 00:31:47,196
三姐不會游水的呀

388
00:31:51,741 --> 00:31:55,342
三姐…

389
00:31:56,342 --> 00:31:57,842
這怎麼辦哪…？

390
00:31:57,942 --> 00:31:59,842
鳳哥…

391
00:31:59,848 --> 00:32:00,850
她沒有氣了

392
00:32:00,850 --> 00:32:01,748
沒氣了？

393
00:32:01,751 --> 00:32:02,840
你快給她點兒氣呀

394
00:32:02,852 --> 00:32:03,977
怎…怎麼給？

395
00:32:03,980 --> 00:32:05,047
-吹呀    -吹？

396
00:32:05,054 --> 00:32:06,055
我有本小人書

397
00:32:06,055 --> 00:32:08,119
裡面王子救公主就是這樣吹的

398
00:32:11,361 --> 00:32:14,763
三姐，你可別死啊…

399
00:32:14,963 --> 00:32:17,363
三姐，你可不要死呀

400
00:32:18,368 --> 00:32:20,259
我氣不夠了，你來吹吧

401
00:32:21,059 --> 00:32:22,459
快呀…

402
00:32:23,072 --> 00:32:25,272
你我賠三姐，賠我…

403
00:32:25,275 --> 00:32:26,379
你快吹呀

404
00:32:26,379 --> 00:32:27,679
-三姐    -快呀

405
00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:29,379
-你吹呀    -快吹呀

406
00:32:48,498 --> 00:32:49,487
給你劍

407
00:32:49,499 --> 00:32:51,360
三姐…

408
00:32:51,401 --> 00:32:53,301
-女人    -女人，這麼愛哭啊？

409
00:32:53,403 --> 00:32:55,434
原來女人真是水做的

410
00:33:00,043 --> 00:33:02,741
武當劍法果然利害

411
00:33:02,847 --> 00:33:06,541
要不是她手下留情，劍撩高一點

412
00:33:08,552 --> 00:33:10,210
你早就武功全廢了

413
00:33:10,754 --> 00:33:13,222
照你這麼說，她還有點人情味

414
00:33:13,256 --> 00:33:14,457
還有口水味呢

415
00:33:14,457 --> 00:33:15,651
還有火腿味

416
00:33:20,362 --> 00:33:21,930
要能學到武當劍法

417
00:33:22,165 --> 00:33:24,968
加上少林棍，劍棍合一，那…

418
00:33:24,968 --> 00:33:25,668
那才棒呢

419
00:33:25,669 --> 00:33:26,736
二叔回來了

420
00:33:28,772 --> 00:33:29,868
褲子還補不補了？

421
00:33:29,973 --> 00:33:31,941
來不及了，快放回去

422
00:33:32,676 --> 00:33:34,538
好，叫我別跟女人打

423
00:33:34,578 --> 00:33:36,275
自己把人家打下水

424
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:39,479
這麼喜歡打架，打，打給我看

425
00:33:43,086 --> 00:33:47,489
我們手足情深，一向…相敬如賓

426
00:33:47,591 --> 00:33:48,481
打

427
00:33:50,594 --> 00:33:52,824
不算，誰不使勁打

428
00:33:53,096 --> 00:33:55,356
就把你們打架的事，告訴你們爹

429
00:33:59,102 --> 00:34:00,929
猴崽子，你太不講義氣

430
00:34:01,029 --> 00:34:02,029
全給我打

431
00:34:05,008 --> 00:34:08,701
你們聽著，誰打輸了，照樣告訴你們爹

432
00:34:34,137 --> 00:34:35,764
二叔，別叫他們打了

433
00:34:36,139 --> 00:34:36,928
你

434
00:34:37,641 --> 00:34:38,639
我打誰啊？

435
00:34:38,642 --> 00:34:39,802
打我

436
00:34:40,143 --> 00:34:41,633
二叔，別開玩笑

437
00:34:41,645 --> 00:34:42,543
打

438
00:34:45,349 --> 00:34:46,748
好小子，你來真的

439
00:34:47,550 --> 00:34:48,282
二叔

440
00:35:00,365 --> 00:35:01,205
來呀

441
00:35:01,805 --> 00:35:02,905
拿棍哪

442
00:35:03,166 --> 00:35:04,155
拿就拿

443
00:35:22,085 --> 00:35:22,752
好

444
00:35:26,790 --> 00:35:29,992
別裝蒜，起來，三龍

445
00:35:30,094 --> 00:35:35,096
-三龍哥…    -三龍

446
00:35:35,799 --> 00:35:38,099
好了，現在鬧出人命來了

447
00:35:38,201 --> 00:35:39,691
二叔，你太沒有人性了

448
00:35:39,703 --> 00:35:41,166
是啊，你太沒人性了…

449
00:35:41,166 --> 00:35:41,704
都是你不好

450
00:35:41,705 --> 00:35:43,602
那…現在怎麼辦哪？

451
00:35:43,707 --> 00:35:47,001
怎麼辦？他快沒氣了，還不快給他點氣

452
00:35:47,110 --> 00:35:47,904
怎麼給？

453
00:35:48,211 --> 00:35:49,537
嘴對嘴，吹啊

454
00:35:49,713 --> 00:35:53,412
-對，吹啊…    -是啊，快吹…

455
00:35:56,720 --> 00:35:58,381
好小子，看我不打死你

456
00:36:00,724 --> 00:36:01,986
三龍哥…

457
00:36:02,125 --> 00:36:04,484
二叔，我們是為了爹和你呀

458
00:36:04,728 --> 00:36:06,730
是啊，是為了爹和你…

459
00:36:06,730 --> 00:36:09,631
好了，現在什麼都完了，你們高興了

460
00:36:10,534 --> 00:36:14,162
二叔…你別洩氣…

461
00:36:14,170 --> 00:36:15,601
爹和你娶不到老婆

462
00:36:15,739 --> 00:36:16,831
我們學不到武當劍

463
00:36:17,140 --> 00:36:18,364
我們誓不罷休

464
00:36:18,442 --> 00:36:20,337
對，我們誓不罷休…

465
00:36:22,795 --> 00:36:25,923
五鳳最喜歡少林棍，我們可以教她

466
00:36:26,599 --> 00:36:29,000
我們先和一班小鳳做好朋友

467
00:36:29,100 --> 00:36:32,702
給鮑笙鳳一個好印象，再給爹提親

468
00:36:47,921 --> 00:36:51,121
少林、武當大會，現在開始

469
00:36:51,124 --> 00:36:54,116
我們以武會友，點到為止

470
00:36:55,627 --> 00:36:56,895
-以武會友    -了不起

471
00:36:57,330 --> 00:36:59,198
誰輸了，就磕頭叫師父

472
00:36:59,232 --> 00:37:01,723
好，看誰先叫師父…

473
00:37:05,238 --> 00:37:06,239
誰敢跟我鬥

474
00:37:06,739 --> 00:37:08,573
-這是什麼蛇？    -這是什麼呀？

475
00:37:08,742 --> 00:37:10,243
頭圓圓，是水蛇

476
00:37:10,243 --> 00:37:13,246
我說呀，是黃鱔，出鴨子

477
00:37:13,246 --> 00:37:14,736
對，出鴨子，上

478
00:37:16,750 --> 00:37:17,808
來呀

479
00:37:42,275 --> 00:37:45,476
你輸了，還不快叫師父，叫啊…

480
00:37:46,479 --> 00:37:47,539
師娘

481
00:37:48,339 --> 00:37:49,939
都怪你這個狗頭軍師

482
00:37:49,939 --> 00:37:50,783
-都怪你不好    -都怪你

483
00:37:50,784 --> 00:37:52,681
-明明是毒蛇，又說是水蛇    -出的什麼主意

484
00:37:52,686 --> 00:37:54,977
內戰了…

485
00:37:54,977 --> 00:37:56,377
-什麼名堂    -都是你不好

486
00:37:56,990 --> 00:37:59,688
你別得意，你出蛇，我出貓

487
00:38:02,996 --> 00:38:05,096
全身排骨，像個病貓

488
00:38:05,098 --> 00:38:07,066
我當你老虎又怎麼樣？

489
00:38:07,500 --> 00:38:09,727
-那你上啊    -上啊…

490
00:38:10,102 --> 00:38:10,992
我？

491
00:38:11,304 --> 00:38:13,499
怕了，那就磕頭叫師父

492
00:38:16,309 --> 00:38:17,939
-你上啊…    -你怕什麼

493
00:38:18,039 --> 00:38:19,439
-快點兒    -壓都壓扁他

494
00:38:19,439 --> 00:38:20,613
上，上啊

495
00:38:21,014 --> 00:38:23,711
-快啊，快上啊    -給他點厲害看看

496
00:38:27,220 --> 00:38:28,620
怕到撒尿了

497
00:38:32,726 --> 00:38:35,429
誰說我怕了，我這是老毛病

498
00:38:35,629 --> 00:38:38,319
-一緊張就肚子疼    -沒出息

499
00:38:38,619 --> 00:38:40,219
你瞧你，真沒用

500
00:38:46,339 --> 00:38:47,736
這是什麼拳？

501
00:39:46,399 --> 00:39:47,994
贏了…

502
00:39:48,094 --> 00:39:49,894
我們贏了…

503
00:39:50,503 --> 00:39:51,595
下流胚

504
00:39:52,906 --> 00:39:55,907
別管上流下流，贏了就是第一流

505
00:39:56,009 --> 00:39:58,411
-還不跪下叫師父    -叫師父…

506
00:39:58,611 --> 00:39:59,908
我還沒輸呢

507
00:40:03,013 --> 00:40:03,802
暫停

508
00:40:04,117 --> 00:40:05,418
比武還有暫停的？

509
00:40:05,418 --> 00:40:07,010
你別管，跟我來

510
00:40:07,110 --> 00:40:08,110
來啦…

511
00:40:12,925 --> 00:40:14,022
她們幹什麼？

512
00:40:14,122 --> 00:40:16,722
又出什麼花招？猩猩，去看看

513
00:40:16,822 --> 00:40:17,922
對，去看看

514
00:40:24,437 --> 00:40:25,438
猩猩，怎麼了？

515
00:40:25,738 --> 00:40:28,203
那麼麻煩，看我們多方便

516
00:40:36,749 --> 00:40:37,843
好了沒有？

517
00:40:38,351 --> 00:40:39,614
就好了…

518
00:40:41,754 --> 00:40:42,914
到底好了沒有？

519
00:40:43,556 --> 00:40:44,250
好了…

520
00:41:06,229 --> 00:41:09,321
這次我不是來打架的，是來賠罪的

521
00:41:14,036 --> 00:41:16,936
鮑家武當劍法，確是舉世無雙

522
00:41:16,939 --> 00:41:19,007
上次不是鳳哥手下留情

523
00:41:19,242 --> 00:41:21,342
我早武功全廢了

524
00:41:23,546 --> 00:41:25,407
你又想來偷武當劍法？

525
00:41:26,148 --> 00:41:29,117
千萬別說偷，我是來學劍的

526
00:41:32,655 --> 00:41:34,623
這一招，是你贏我的

527
00:41:38,261 --> 00:41:40,252
這一棍是我贏回你的

528
00:41:40,263 --> 00:41:41,560
你以為真的贏了嗎？

529
00:41:42,866 --> 00:41:46,797
不敢，少林、武當各有克敵制勝的絕招

530
00:41:46,870 --> 00:41:50,403
亦有美中不足之處，如能取長補短

531
00:41:50,410 --> 00:41:52,970
你說，豈不是更加發揚光大？

532
00:41:56,279 --> 00:41:59,373
囉哩囉唆的，倒有幾分道理

533
00:42:00,283 --> 00:42:04,117
那，我先練幾招少林棍，你指點指點？

534
00:42:04,187 --> 00:42:06,246
好吧，我先看看

535
00:42:06,389 --> 00:42:09,558
好，遵命

536
00:42:44,627 --> 00:42:45,491
獻醜了

537
00:42:45,929 --> 00:42:48,991
少林棍沒什麼了不起，回去吧

538
00:42:49,432 --> 00:42:50,021
你…

539
00:42:50,233 --> 00:42:52,324
本來我早就想趕你下水

540
00:42:52,335 --> 00:42:54,730
現在已經便宜你了，滾吧

541
00:42:55,338 --> 00:42:56,232
你…

542
00:42:57,040 --> 00:43:00,871
要再讓我見到你，別怪我劍下無情

543
00:43:02,346 --> 00:43:06,110
三龍哥…你上當了…

544
00:43:06,349 --> 00:43:08,749
我上當，她上鉤了

545
00:43:08,851 --> 00:43:12,510
她不趕我下水，表示對少林棍有興趣

546
00:43:13,356 --> 00:43:15,416
對你，也有點好感

547
00:43:16,659 --> 00:43:19,219
那爹的婚事就有點希望了

548
00:43:48,091 --> 00:43:49,251
好

549
00:43:49,792 --> 00:43:51,683
誰？滾出來

550
00:43:55,883 --> 00:43:56,883
三姐…

551
00:43:56,899 --> 00:43:59,163
還不回家去，偷偷摸摸的幹什麼？

552
00:43:59,265 --> 00:44:01,499
好啊，不讓我學棍

553
00:44:01,704 --> 00:44:03,396
自己偷偷摸摸地學

554
00:44:04,006 --> 00:44:05,906
我們走，我們回去告訴爹

555
00:44:05,909 --> 00:44:07,399
三姐在偷練少林棍

556
00:44:07,500 --> 00:44:08,467
走…

557
00:44:08,470 --> 00:44:10,070
等一等，站住

558
00:44:14,017 --> 00:44:16,510
你是不是喜歡跟對面的小猴玩？

559
00:44:16,519 --> 00:44:18,021
不是，我喜歡大頭佛

560
00:44:18,021 --> 00:44:19,121
我喜歡唐伯虎

561
00:44:19,122 --> 00:44:20,123
我喜歡小猴

562
00:44:20,123 --> 00:44:21,413
我要四龍教我棍

563
00:44:23,326 --> 00:44:26,818
好，以後准你們跟他們一起玩好不好？

564
00:44:27,330 --> 00:44:28,620
三姐真是好人

565
00:44:29,232 --> 00:44:32,632
那…還告不告訴爹，說我偷偷學棍哪？

566
00:44:32,635 --> 00:44:35,568
不告訴了，我們去找他們玩去咯…

567
00:44:38,658 --> 00:44:41,627
你也不想想，鮑家無後，武當沒有傳人

568
00:44:41,761 --> 00:44:43,055
你怎麼對得起祖宗

569
00:44:43,262 --> 00:44:46,854
我算對得起你了，嫁到你鮑家這麼多年

570
00:44:46,966 --> 00:44:48,864
這肚子就沒有空過

571
00:44:49,769 --> 00:44:52,069
一個女兒你要人十條牛

572
00:44:52,171 --> 00:44:53,763
你都可以開牛場了

573
00:44:56,174 --> 00:44:58,873
鳳她媽，我知道你辛苦

574
00:44:58,878 --> 00:45:01,776
別碰我，你也不為女兒想想

575
00:45:01,781 --> 00:45:03,271
天龍有什麼不好？

576
00:45:03,483 --> 00:45:05,310
光看他養大這麼多孤兒

577
00:45:05,385 --> 00:45:06,975
就知道是個好女婿

578
00:45:07,086 --> 00:45:09,477
誰叫他是少林，我是武當

579
00:45:10,590 --> 00:45:13,791
鳳她媽，你也不願意鮑家絕後嘛

580
00:45:14,293 --> 00:45:17,558
你已經辛苦了九次，就再辛苦一次吧

581
00:45:17,697 --> 00:45:19,756
不害羞，生到四十九

582
00:45:19,899 --> 00:45:21,899
你不怕人笑，我怕

583
00:45:22,101 --> 00:45:26,996
怕什麼？老蚌生珠，延年益壽，是福相嘛

584
00:45:29,207 --> 00:45:32,367
我再辛苦一次，那大鳳的婚事就好商量了？

585
00:45:32,370 --> 00:45:33,769
那還用說

586
00:45:35,114 --> 00:45:37,515
不過一定要生龍才好商量

587
00:45:38,818 --> 00:45:41,820
阿鮑，你摸摸我這兒

588
00:45:43,823 --> 00:45:45,381
都三個月了吧？

589
00:45:46,025 --> 00:45:47,628
兩個月就這麼大了？

590
00:45:49,728 --> 00:45:52,128
菩薩保佑…

591
00:45:54,333 --> 00:45:57,769
菩薩，你大發慈悲，保佑鳳家生條龍吧

592
00:45:57,837 --> 00:46:00,533
鳳家有龍，我們龍家就有鳳了

593
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:02,140
那我們就有媽了

594
00:46:02,141 --> 00:46:03,772
對…我們就有媽了…

595
00:46:03,843 --> 00:46:06,440
-菩薩保佑…顯顯靈吧…    -阿彌陀佛…

596
00:46:22,362 --> 00:46:25,363
恭喜夫人，又得一千金

597
00:46:28,367 --> 00:46:29,364
我媽又生了

598
00:46:31,164 --> 00:46:33,864
我媽又生了

599
00:46:34,273 --> 00:46:37,081
我媽又生了

600
00:46:38,581 --> 00:46:40,181
我媽又生了

601
00:46:40,181 --> 00:46:43,472
你媽生了什麼呀…？

602
00:46:44,384 --> 00:46:46,984
我媽又生了

603
00:46:47,787 --> 00:46:49,621
你媽又生了什麼呀？

604
00:46:49,730 --> 00:46:51,595
又跟我們一樣

605
00:46:52,692 --> 00:46:55,193
不一樣…

606
00:46:55,395 --> 00:46:58,895
我看見我媽生的，多了點東西

607
00:46:58,898 --> 00:47:00,790
-多了點東西？    -什麼東西？

608
00:47:01,900 --> 00:47:03,801
多了點什麼東西呀？

609
00:47:04,103 --> 00:47:05,570
不知道啊

610
00:47:08,307 --> 00:47:10,298
是不是跟我們一樣啊？

611
00:47:11,110 --> 00:47:13,039
是的，跟你們差不多

612
00:47:15,014 --> 00:47:17,741
還不快回去告訴爹，鳳媽生了一條龍

613
00:47:18,517 --> 00:47:20,676
對，媽生了條龍

614
00:47:20,720 --> 00:47:22,822
不對，我看見爹愁眉苦臉的

615
00:47:22,822 --> 00:47:26,448
不對，你走以後爹笑得只見眉毛不見眼睛

616
00:47:28,528 --> 00:47:30,860
爹終於盼到你了

617
00:47:36,936 --> 00:47:40,228
阿鮑，順手替十鳳也洗一洗吧

618
00:47:40,339 --> 00:47:42,232
洗鳳，還是你拿手

619
00:47:43,943 --> 00:47:44,944
十官乖

620
00:47:45,147 --> 00:47:48,839
爹把你打扮得漂漂亮亮的去謝菩薩

621
00:48:15,258 --> 00:48:18,825
我沒有說錯吧，只要斷了對面的龍氣

622
00:48:18,862 --> 00:48:21,253
那不就一發即中了嗎

623
00:48:32,575 --> 00:48:33,874
三姐你看

624
00:48:38,081 --> 00:48:40,879
阿媽，你看，他們來了

625
00:48:57,700 --> 00:48:59,902
你看，人家多有心

626
00:49:00,102 --> 00:49:01,360
有心…

627
00:49:06,309 --> 00:49:10,211
知人知面不知心，小心別有用心

628
00:49:41,142 --> 00:49:42,042
好什麼

629
00:49:42,342 --> 00:49:42,942
上

630
00:50:24,386 --> 00:50:25,375
你怎麼了？

631
00:50:25,588 --> 00:50:27,890
三姐，我吃不消了

632
00:50:27,990 --> 00:50:30,390
頂住，今天不能輸給他們

633
00:50:33,095 --> 00:50:33,987
生龍？

634
00:50:34,187 --> 00:50:34,987
三姐

635
00:50:35,597 --> 00:50:36,489
起來

636
00:50:36,899 --> 00:50:38,190
快起來

637
00:50:39,401 --> 00:50:42,368
三姐，我實在沒勁了

638
00:50:43,405 --> 00:50:45,396
你，你氣死我了

639
00:50:54,996 --> 00:50:55,596
滾

640
00:50:57,519 --> 00:50:58,408
滾開

641
00:50:59,821 --> 00:51:01,421
你要是不想出醜

642
00:51:01,423 --> 00:51:04,656
乖乖躺著，咱們合作，演出好戲

643
00:51:44,667 --> 00:51:46,368
爹，他對她非禮

644
00:51:46,468 --> 00:51:47,767
非禮勿視

645
00:51:47,970 --> 00:51:51,437
鮑翁，光天化日之下，成何體統

646
00:51:51,573 --> 00:51:54,770
是啊，得及時堵截妖風啊

647
00:52:00,783 --> 00:52:02,410
十官，別害怕

648
00:52:28,510 --> 00:52:31,736
你看，這些孩子多討人喜歡

649
00:52:34,016 --> 00:52:35,016
伯母…

650
00:52:35,116 --> 00:52:36,216
拿著買糖吃

651
00:52:36,218 --> 00:52:38,919
謝謝伯母，我爹問您好

652
00:52:40,422 --> 00:52:41,426
乖

653
00:52:42,926 --> 00:52:45,826
你看，人家天龍想得多周到

654
00:52:50,533 --> 00:52:51,525
怎麼著？

655
00:52:52,535 --> 00:52:53,996
三姐，我又有勁了

656
00:52:54,096 --> 00:52:54,696
上

657
00:53:17,460 --> 00:53:19,150
是烏雞白鳳丸哪

658
00:53:19,261 --> 00:53:21,988
媽，是二龍他們照著華陀秘方

659
00:53:22,064 --> 00:53:23,356
自己煉出來的

660
00:53:23,866 --> 00:53:26,257
這麼大粒，怎麼吞哪？

661
00:53:26,368 --> 00:53:30,004
傻丫頭，粒越大，功效也越大

662
00:53:30,973 --> 00:53:33,974
媽，天龍說，你連生十幾胎

663
00:53:34,076 --> 00:53:35,703
應該補補身子

664
00:53:36,078 --> 00:53:38,473
天龍真會體貼人

665
00:53:38,881 --> 00:53:42,874
這樣的男人上哪去找，哪像你爹

666
00:53:42,901 --> 00:53:43,904
媽

667
00:53:44,504 --> 00:53:47,804
二龍說，他們已經有了四條牛了

668
00:53:48,006 --> 00:53:49,906
那你還不快點叫他來提親

669
00:53:50,008 --> 00:53:50,997
不過，爹…

670
00:53:51,009 --> 00:53:52,301
-爹要十條牛    -媽…

671
00:53:52,311 --> 00:53:54,741
二姐什麼時候才能嫁給二龍哥啊？

672
00:53:55,514 --> 00:53:56,739
你爹說過了

673
00:53:57,117 --> 00:53:59,916
只要我生龍，什麼事都好商量

674
00:54:00,118 --> 00:54:01,608
去，讓二龍也一起來

675
00:54:22,108 --> 00:54:22,808
快點

676
00:54:23,108 --> 00:54:23,708
走

677
00:54:24,508 --> 00:54:25,308
快走啊

678
00:54:30,650 --> 00:54:32,339
快走…

679
00:54:36,139 --> 00:54:36,839
走啊

680
00:54:38,557 --> 00:54:39,822
世伯…

681
00:54:40,359 --> 00:54:41,459
你們來幹什麼？

682
00:54:41,461 --> 00:54:42,258
天龍

683
00:54:43,158 --> 00:54:44,258
你們總算來了

684
00:54:44,263 --> 00:54:46,065
伯母，四條牛我們帶來了

685
00:54:46,365 --> 00:54:47,554
就是瘦了點

686
00:54:47,766 --> 00:54:50,494
肥瘦都一樣，是牛就行，快來…

687
00:54:51,169 --> 00:54:52,969
大鳳、二鳳，快來倒茶

688
00:54:52,971 --> 00:54:54,073
媽，我去叫

689
00:54:54,175 --> 00:54:57,268
天龍、二龍，來，跟你們岳父大人好好聊聊

690
00:54:57,276 --> 00:54:58,341
世伯…

691
00:54:58,877 --> 00:55:00,874
世伯，我們這次來

692
00:55:00,879 --> 00:55:03,977
是專誠為了大鳳姐、二鳳姐的親事

693
00:55:04,583 --> 00:55:07,275
四條瘦牛就想換我兩隻鳳

694
00:55:07,286 --> 00:55:09,554
天底下哪有這麼便宜的事？

695
00:55:10,389 --> 00:55:12,189
怎麼？不是說好了？

696
00:55:12,291 --> 00:55:14,193
只要我生龍，就好商量

697
00:55:14,393 --> 00:55:16,390
-好商量不等於是大賤賣    -你…

698
00:55:16,395 --> 00:55:17,293
鮑翁

699
00:55:17,596 --> 00:55:20,297
馬老，什麼風把你吹來了？

700
00:55:20,399 --> 00:55:23,391
無事不登三寶殿，阿牛

701
00:55:24,202 --> 00:55:25,294
岳父

702
00:55:25,304 --> 00:55:28,999
等等，我什麼時候有你這麼個女婿？

703
00:55:30,208 --> 00:55:33,408
未來的女婿，我聘禮都帶來了

704
00:55:33,412 --> 00:55:35,944
還有十條大水牛就在門外

705
00:55:37,615 --> 00:55:39,943
坐…

706
00:55:40,419 --> 00:55:42,921
馬老，不是我賣花贊花香

707
00:55:42,921 --> 00:55:46,122
我們家大鳳配你家阿牛真是天生的一對

708
00:55:48,127 --> 00:55:50,425
阿牛，我爹是你師爺

709
00:55:50,525 --> 00:55:52,029
大鳳要嫁給我爹，你竟敢…

710
00:55:52,230 --> 00:55:53,329
我不敢

711
00:55:53,829 --> 00:55:55,429
爹，不是她

712
00:55:56,735 --> 00:56:01,634
我阿牛過八月十五才二十，大鳳她…

713
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:03,535
那二鳳怎麼樣？

714
00:56:03,942 --> 00:56:05,836
她今年二十沒出頭

715
00:56:06,245 --> 00:56:06,947
不…

716
00:56:06,947 --> 00:56:08,747
好小子，敢撬我牆腳

717
00:56:08,947 --> 00:56:09,984
我不敢

718
00:56:11,384 --> 00:56:15,784
岳父，我想娶的…是她

719
00:56:15,954 --> 00:56:18,448
想娶我？可以

720
00:56:19,458 --> 00:56:23,292
不過，要問我的老朋友，答不答應

721
00:56:23,762 --> 00:56:25,427
鮑翁，這…

722
00:56:26,064 --> 00:56:28,760
這叫比武招親，好

723
00:56:28,867 --> 00:56:31,165
生龍，打輸了就得嫁

724
00:56:31,270 --> 00:56:32,532
是，爹

725
00:56:43,382 --> 00:56:44,383
師父教導

726
00:56:44,383 --> 00:56:46,781
練武之人，不得欺侮女流之輩

727
00:56:46,985 --> 00:56:49,080
三小姐，請先進招吧

728
00:57:00,599 --> 00:57:01,961
餓狗搶屎

729
00:57:02,801 --> 00:57:03,729
沒吃著

730
00:57:11,910 --> 00:57:13,400
師父，用哪一招？

731
00:57:13,912 --> 00:57:16,007
你師父也是泥菩薩過江

732
00:57:19,518 --> 00:57:20,780
謝師父指點

733
00:57:32,531 --> 00:57:33,555
阿牛

734
00:57:35,935 --> 00:57:38,235
還是我武當劍勝一籌

735
00:57:38,337 --> 00:57:40,234
少林棍徒有虛名

736
00:57:40,239 --> 00:57:43,533
馬老，這只能怪阿牛錯拜了師父

737
00:57:44,042 --> 00:57:46,037
不，只怪我學藝未精

738
00:57:46,145 --> 00:57:47,945
你回去學十年再來吧

739
00:57:49,448 --> 00:57:51,350
十年後，你送給我都嫌你老

740
00:57:51,350 --> 00:57:52,739
這種婆娘咱不要

741
00:57:52,951 --> 00:57:55,551
爹給你找一個打不過你的做老婆

742
00:57:55,554 --> 00:57:56,544
把棍給我

743
00:57:58,657 --> 00:57:59,657
你想幹什麼？

744
00:57:59,658 --> 00:58:00,752
想比武

745
00:58:01,460 --> 00:58:02,850
不是你，是她

746
00:58:04,062 --> 00:58:05,962
二龍，別這樣

747
00:58:06,665 --> 00:58:08,556
你也想來求親？行

748
00:58:09,067 --> 00:58:13,365
不過鮑家有個規矩，想娶大鳳要十條牛

749
00:58:13,472 --> 00:58:15,676
生龍要嫁功夫比她高的

750
00:58:15,876 --> 00:58:17,476
至於二鳳嘛…

751
00:58:17,476 --> 00:58:18,374
你要什麼？

752
00:58:18,477 --> 00:58:19,776
你會唱歌嗎？

753
00:58:20,179 --> 00:58:21,077
要我唱歌？

754
00:58:21,180 --> 00:58:24,071
對，俗話說，夫唱婦隨

755
00:58:24,082 --> 00:58:27,174
想娶二鳳，歌得比她唱得好

756
00:58:27,686 --> 00:58:28,685
你…

757
00:58:28,988 --> 00:58:31,688
你明知他連話都不會講，怎麼會唱歌呢

758
00:58:31,690 --> 00:58:33,555
分明是有意刁難嘛

759
00:58:33,792 --> 00:58:35,482
是又怎麼樣？

760
00:58:35,594 --> 00:58:37,223
好，我來跟她比武

761
00:58:38,597 --> 00:58:39,197
來吧

762
00:58:39,198 --> 00:58:40,698
三龍，住手

763
00:58:40,798 --> 00:58:41,398
慢

764
00:58:41,498 --> 00:58:42,501
不許無禮

765
00:58:42,602 --> 00:58:44,401
-告辭了，回去    -請

766
00:58:45,803 --> 00:58:47,203
天龍…

767
00:58:48,407 --> 00:58:49,208
道長

768
00:58:49,208 --> 00:58:51,658
居士，那幫小子又在想搞你的千金

769
00:59:05,273 --> 00:59:07,165
肥鳳，我在這兒，來啊

770
00:59:22,965 --> 00:59:24,365
我在這兒哪

771
00:59:28,397 --> 00:59:32,088
河邊有隻羊，羊邊有只象

772
00:59:32,099 --> 00:59:35,391
象邊有個小猩猩，就跟你一樣

773
00:59:35,403 --> 00:59:36,665
猩猩…

774
00:59:39,608 --> 00:59:41,208
綁上…

775
00:59:41,308 --> 00:59:42,108
綁緊點

776
00:59:42,911 --> 00:59:46,877
帶盲公，帶盲婆，帶到盲公跌落河

777
00:59:47,518 --> 00:59:50,215
我在這兒呢，過來呀

778
00:59:53,822 --> 00:59:55,314
我在這兒呢

779
01:00:06,633 --> 01:00:08,500
自己人，肥鳳在後面

780
01:00:21,149 --> 01:00:22,143
抓到了

781
01:00:22,751 --> 01:00:24,848
-快說…    -快猜呀…

782
01:00:25,954 --> 01:00:26,852
是五鳳

783
01:00:26,955 --> 01:00:29,280
不對…我在這兒呢

784
01:00:30,959 --> 01:00:31,751
你看

785
01:00:31,760 --> 01:00:33,851
不對，還要胖一點哪

786
01:00:41,369 --> 01:00:42,597
抓到了不許賴

787
01:00:45,597 --> 01:00:46,197
糟了

788
01:01:00,789 --> 01:01:02,989
你們這幫沒爹娘管教的下流胚

789
01:01:02,991 --> 01:01:05,018
再敢過河，我宰了你們

790
01:01:05,893 --> 01:01:08,293
你呀，叫你練拳你肚子痛

791
01:01:08,296 --> 01:01:09,696
叫你練劍你渾身痛

792
01:01:09,697 --> 01:01:11,891
讓人家亂摸，你倒不喊痛

793
01:01:12,191 --> 01:01:13,591
跟我回去

794
01:01:14,452 --> 01:01:17,180
把屁股抬高點，快點

795
01:01:18,890 --> 01:01:20,884
辛辛苦苦養大你們

796
01:01:21,184 --> 01:01:23,984
捨不得打，捨不得罵

797
01:01:24,296 --> 01:01:27,588
現在給人打，給人罵，那麼下賤

798
01:01:27,799 --> 01:01:29,699
給人打，我不會自己打

799
01:01:29,901 --> 01:01:30,799
疼不疼？

800
01:01:30,902 --> 01:01:31,726
不疼…

801
01:01:31,904 --> 01:01:33,795
爹怎麼會捨得真打我們呢

802
01:01:38,110 --> 01:01:40,112
不用怕，輕於鴻毛

803
01:01:41,112 --> 01:01:42,411
把屁股抬高點

804
01:01:53,024 --> 01:01:55,222
說給他們聽，什麼滋味

805
01:01:56,928 --> 01:02:00,227
又酸…又麻…又疼…

806
01:02:01,433 --> 01:02:03,294
你自己說，該不該打

807
01:02:03,835 --> 01:02:04,735
不該打

808
01:02:04,836 --> 01:02:06,034
你還強嘴你

809
01:02:06,638 --> 01:02:10,131
爹，他們這樣做，全都為你能娶大鳳姐

810
01:02:11,743 --> 01:02:12,745
都起來

811
01:02:13,445 --> 01:02:16,945
我知道，可這種事不能強求

812
01:02:17,749 --> 01:02:20,741
家裡沒有鳳，你們沒有媽

813
01:02:21,353 --> 01:02:23,044
十年都過來了

814
01:02:23,555 --> 01:02:27,355
我們少林祖師，世世代代都這樣熬過來的

815
01:02:29,461 --> 01:02:32,756
今後，我們就死了這條心吧

816
01:02:35,300 --> 01:02:37,366
阿彌陀佛

817
01:02:40,906 --> 01:02:44,899
酒肉穿腸過，佛祖心中留

818
01:02:47,412 --> 01:02:49,810
腦袋光光，不用燈光

819
01:02:51,917 --> 01:02:55,819
不用洗，不用梳，剃光頭，好處多

820
01:03:14,940 --> 01:03:19,444
出家人無嗔無憎，怕什麼難為情

821
01:03:19,544 --> 01:03:21,175
你是不是六根未淨？

822
01:03:22,848 --> 01:03:24,009
我不剃頭

823
01:03:25,550 --> 01:03:26,849
我不做和尚

824
01:03:27,352 --> 01:03:28,150
二龍

825
01:03:28,153 --> 01:03:29,249
我一定要娶二鳳

826
01:03:29,254 --> 01:03:31,652
你呀，真比豬還笨

827
01:03:31,857 --> 01:03:33,458
人家不肯把女兒嫁你

828
01:03:33,458 --> 01:03:36,550
你發牛脾氣有什麼用？認命吧

829
01:03:36,662 --> 01:03:38,161
你認命，我不認

830
01:03:38,263 --> 01:03:40,290
你害了大鳳，也要我害二鳳嗎？

831
01:03:40,300 --> 01:03:42,100
你…你這是跟誰說話？

832
01:03:42,100 --> 01:03:43,802
二叔，你怎麼能夠這樣

833
01:03:43,969 --> 01:03:45,960
你再罵爹，我們就跟你翻臉了…

834
01:03:45,971 --> 01:03:48,772
翻就翻，以後，別叫我二叔

835
01:03:49,174 --> 01:03:50,468
爹…

836
01:03:50,776 --> 01:03:52,266
爹，二叔他…

837
01:03:52,377 --> 01:03:55,877
他從小到大，一發牛脾氣就說離家出走

838
01:03:55,881 --> 01:03:57,778
最遠不過走到對面山洞裡

839
01:04:23,008 --> 01:04:25,101
二叔…

840
01:04:25,510 --> 01:04:29,412
去做和尚啊，六親不認啦，還叫我二叔幹嘛

841
01:04:30,716 --> 01:04:34,352
真有性格，怪不得二鳳姐會這麼喜歡你呢

842
01:04:34,719 --> 01:04:36,414
有性格又怎麼樣

843
01:04:36,721 --> 01:04:39,021
光會在這兒拍肚皮充英雄

844
01:04:39,024 --> 01:04:40,721
該幹什麼去幹哪

845
01:04:40,826 --> 01:04:41,526
怎麼幹？

846
01:04:41,526 --> 01:04:42,788
二叔，你看

847
01:04:45,530 --> 01:04:46,431
這是什麼？

848
01:04:46,731 --> 01:04:47,857
你說這是什麼？

849
01:04:48,033 --> 01:04:48,733
圓圈

850
01:04:48,734 --> 01:04:49,628
那這個呢？

851
01:04:49,828 --> 01:04:50,635
姑娘

852
01:04:50,636 --> 01:04:51,366
她在幹什麼？

853
01:04:51,369 --> 01:04:52,169
跳舞啊

854
01:04:53,438 --> 01:04:55,438
連嫦娥奔月你都不懂啊

855
01:04:55,440 --> 01:04:57,731
怪不得爹說你比豬還笨呢

856
01:04:58,143 --> 01:05:00,538
一點不錯，就是比豬還笨

857
01:05:02,547 --> 01:05:03,547
我怎麼這麼笨呢？

858
01:05:03,548 --> 01:05:06,808
二鳳姐就是愛你笨得老實

859
01:05:07,953 --> 01:05:09,252
快教我怎麼辦吧

860
01:05:35,446 --> 01:05:36,138
誰？

861
01:05:37,448 --> 01:05:38,538
是我

862
01:05:39,251 --> 01:05:40,348
你是誰？

863
01:05:41,553 --> 01:05:43,755
我是新來的丫環，秋香

864
01:05:44,155 --> 01:05:46,985
我練劍的時候，誰也不准進來，去

865
01:05:47,659 --> 01:05:49,286
是，老爺

866
01:06:03,675 --> 01:06:04,371
誰？

867
01:06:04,676 --> 01:06:05,973
我是紅娘

868
01:06:07,178 --> 01:06:08,272
你是？

869
01:06:09,681 --> 01:06:11,372
二叔說，他是月亮

870
01:06:12,283 --> 01:06:15,380
快奔月去吧，天一亮就奔不成了

871
01:06:36,808 --> 01:06:40,300
二姐，三更半夜，到哪去？

872
01:06:41,312 --> 01:06:45,544
三妹，你就當沒看見，放我過去吧

873
01:06:45,617 --> 01:06:48,709
慢，你跟人私奔，敗壞家風

874
01:06:48,720 --> 01:06:50,147
爹要你跟我回去

875
01:06:52,023 --> 01:06:53,823
你爹誤了你大姐的青春

876
01:06:53,925 --> 01:06:55,725
難道你還要害你二姐嗎？

877
01:06:56,628 --> 01:06:59,529
你也是鳳，將來你爹逼你嫁豬嫁狗

878
01:06:59,531 --> 01:07:01,722
嫁雞嫁貓嫁耗子，你也樂意嗎？

879
01:07:02,834 --> 01:07:04,424
你們全給我走

880
01:07:05,737 --> 01:07:08,535
三妹，謝謝你

881
01:07:13,945 --> 01:07:15,039
還不快走

882
01:07:26,758 --> 01:07:29,260
以前一見到你，總覺得面目可憎

883
01:07:29,660 --> 01:07:32,460
今夜看來，倒挺有人情味

884
01:07:32,564 --> 01:07:35,055
心腸一好，人也漂亮多了

885
01:07:35,266 --> 01:07:36,627
誰要你拍馬屁

886
01:07:38,569 --> 01:07:39,833
居士，你看那兒

887
01:07:40,171 --> 01:07:41,071
你還不走

888
01:07:41,072 --> 01:07:43,072
你是姐妹情深，我是兄弟義重

889
01:07:43,074 --> 01:07:44,564
咱有難同當，一起走吧

890
01:07:44,676 --> 01:07:45,504
一起走？

891
01:07:46,077 --> 01:07:48,969
你是我什麼人？我是你什麼人？滾

892
01:07:50,382 --> 01:07:52,812
還不快走，想害死我嗎？

893
01:07:53,385 --> 01:07:55,476
大恩大德，容當後報

894
01:07:59,991 --> 01:08:02,884
你…你做的好事

895
01:08:03,094 --> 01:08:05,189
把她押回去，按族規嚴懲

896
01:08:05,196 --> 01:08:05,794
是

897
01:08:09,401 --> 01:08:11,392
三龍哥，你看…

898
01:08:11,903 --> 01:08:15,703
-快…押回去    -走…快點走…

899
01:08:17,108 --> 01:08:20,808
人說女人是水做的，我看三鳳姐就不是

900
01:08:20,912 --> 01:08:22,110
那是什麼做的？

901
01:08:22,213 --> 01:08:23,213
是氣做的

902
01:08:23,215 --> 01:08:25,273
-對    -氣做的，沒聽說過…

903
01:08:25,617 --> 01:08:27,041
義氣的氣

904
01:08:27,869 --> 01:08:28,861
跪下

905
01:08:30,371 --> 01:08:33,263
你身為族長，居然縱容女兒

906
01:08:33,275 --> 01:08:36,478
做出傷風敗俗，觸犯族規之事

907
01:08:36,678 --> 01:08:40,944
你如何向列祖列宗，鄉親父老交待？

908
01:08:42,183 --> 01:08:46,279
我鮑某頂天立地，絕不包庇循私

909
01:08:46,288 --> 01:08:47,789
按族規辦吧

910
01:08:47,789 --> 01:08:52,383
好，放走姦夫淫婦，理應罪上加罪

911
01:08:52,694 --> 01:08:55,324
按族規辦，要浸豬籠

912
01:09:00,502 --> 01:09:04,370
-三鳳…    -三姐

913
01:09:05,207 --> 01:09:09,503
你還我女兒，你沒生過女兒你不知道痛

914
01:09:11,012 --> 01:09:12,876
國有國法，族有族規

915
01:09:13,014 --> 01:09:15,514
燒完一炷香淹不死她，就算她命大

916
01:09:16,417 --> 01:09:18,313
時辰到，動刑

917
01:09:21,022 --> 01:09:22,624
時辰到

918
01:09:23,024 --> 01:09:24,324
居士，時辰到了

919
01:09:24,326 --> 01:09:28,161
匡扶正義…

920
01:09:28,761 --> 01:09:32,461
三鳳姐沒有罪…

921
01:09:32,533 --> 01:09:36,033
慘無人道…

922
01:09:36,038 --> 01:09:39,239
鮑笙鳳沒人性…

923
01:09:39,241 --> 01:09:42,307
匡扶正義…

924
01:09:42,507 --> 01:09:46,107
三鳳姐沒有罪…

925
01:09:46,248 --> 01:09:47,373
你來幹什麼？

926
01:09:47,375 --> 01:09:50,104
臭小子，你吃了豹子膽，敢來送死

927
01:09:50,310 --> 01:09:53,302
大丈夫一人作事一人當，你把她放了

928
01:09:54,655 --> 01:09:56,284
要不是你小子花言巧語

929
01:09:56,457 --> 01:09:57,959
二姑娘怎敢私奔？

930
01:09:57,959 --> 01:09:59,856
三姑娘又怎會同流合污？

931
01:10:02,404 --> 01:10:04,697
你為什麼要來白白的陪我送死呢？

932
01:10:05,006 --> 01:10:07,304
我說過，要有難同當

933
01:10:08,510 --> 01:10:10,402
好，我成全你了

934
01:10:12,514 --> 01:10:14,011
居士，都準備好了

935
01:10:15,411 --> 01:10:16,211
動刑

936
01:10:16,417 --> 01:10:18,942
我先走一步了，水晶宮見

937
01:10:19,620 --> 01:10:20,648
三龍

938
01:10:21,248 --> 01:10:24,848
慘無人道…

939
01:10:25,326 --> 01:10:28,921
鮑笙鳳沒人性…

940
01:10:29,021 --> 01:10:32,121
-匡扶正義…    -居士

941
01:10:32,133 --> 01:10:36,627
-三姐…    -三鳳

942
01:10:36,727 --> 01:10:37,837
你不能死

943
01:10:37,938 --> 01:10:38,730
等一等

944
01:10:38,930 --> 01:10:39,730
怎麼啦？

945
01:10:49,551 --> 01:10:53,352
三鳳…三鳳你不能死啊

946
01:11:15,576 --> 01:11:18,579
慘無人道…

947
01:11:18,679 --> 01:11:22,273
鮑笙鳳沒人性…

948
01:11:24,085 --> 01:11:26,143
三鳳，你不能死啊

949
01:11:26,187 --> 01:11:27,116
三姐

950
01:11:28,716 --> 01:11:33,216
-三鳳…    -三姐

951
01:11:45,104 --> 01:11:49,198
三鳳…爹也捨不得你死啊

952
01:11:49,210 --> 01:11:52,810
你還我的女兒…

953
01:11:53,010 --> 01:11:53,810
三鳳

954
01:12:02,023 --> 01:12:03,720
三龍哥，爹來了

955
01:12:04,625 --> 01:12:06,114
爹…

956
01:12:06,127 --> 01:12:09,763
女人補身子熬雞湯，最要緊是加點當歸進去

957
01:12:10,331 --> 01:12:13,129
爹，你不怪我自作主張，救了三鳳？

958
01:12:15,937 --> 01:12:18,430
記住，你們千萬不要偷吃

959
01:12:18,639 --> 01:12:21,642
否則流鼻血，發高燒，我可不管

960
01:12:21,842 --> 01:12:23,503
知道了…

961
01:12:52,423 --> 01:12:55,224
人參當歸燉雞湯，我爹教我燒的

962
01:12:55,326 --> 01:12:56,793
快趁熱喝吧

963
01:12:59,830 --> 01:13:01,024
你也喝點吧

964
01:13:01,030 --> 01:13:03,828
不，我爹說過，女人喝了補身子

965
01:13:04,335 --> 01:13:06,826
男人喝了，會流鼻血

966
01:13:07,838 --> 01:13:09,529
謝謝你救了我

967
01:13:09,840 --> 01:13:11,974
我說過，要有難同當

968
01:13:14,345 --> 01:13:16,747
以前，我相信我爹說的

969
01:13:16,749 --> 01:13:19,949
你們龍家，沒有一個好人

970
01:13:20,851 --> 01:13:23,851
所以，我一直恨你們

971
01:13:23,855 --> 01:13:25,554
現在不恨不就得了

972
01:13:27,558 --> 01:13:31,585
現在回想起來，你一點也不像個壞人

973
01:13:32,463 --> 01:13:36,167
相反，我倒騙了你一套少林棍法

974
01:13:36,267 --> 01:13:37,958
那是我心甘情願的

975
01:13:38,869 --> 01:13:41,372
講起來，我還戲弄過你好幾次

976
01:13:41,372 --> 01:13:42,805
還把你打下水

977
01:13:42,874 --> 01:13:44,742
我也劃破過你的褲襠

978
01:13:48,278 --> 01:13:49,972
你是不是想學武當劍？

979
01:13:50,581 --> 01:13:52,479
當然想了，請指教

980
01:13:52,883 --> 01:13:54,751
原來你早有預謀

981
01:14:01,391 --> 01:14:02,591
三姑娘沒有死

982
01:14:02,893 --> 01:14:05,685
三龍這小子把她藏在對岸山洞裡

983
01:14:05,985 --> 01:14:06,785
好啊

984
01:14:30,420 --> 01:14:32,418
生龍…

985
01:14:32,523 --> 01:14:36,417
好啊，果然是你這小子勾引良家婦女

986
01:14:36,427 --> 01:14:38,820
我是不忍心看你殘害親生骨肉

987
01:14:39,730 --> 01:14:41,388
生龍，跟我回去

988
01:14:41,432 --> 01:14:44,132
不行，我不能讓你回去送死

989
01:14:44,135 --> 01:14:46,435
混蛋，你算她什麼人？

990
01:14:46,437 --> 01:14:48,566
我教訓我女兒，管你屁事

991
01:14:48,570 --> 01:14:51,432
像你這樣沒有人性的人，不配做人的爹

992
01:14:52,743 --> 01:14:53,835
滾開

993
01:15:16,867 --> 01:15:18,528
這套劍法是誰教你的？

994
01:15:18,869 --> 01:15:20,764
爹，是我

995
01:15:22,372 --> 01:15:25,272
好啊，你連家傳的劍法都白送了

996
01:15:25,275 --> 01:15:27,641
真不知羞恥，跟我回去

997
01:15:28,579 --> 01:15:29,568
看劍

998
01:15:30,981 --> 01:15:32,881
三鳳，你不能回去送死

999
01:15:32,983 --> 01:15:35,083
小子，你活得不耐煩了

1000
01:15:44,895 --> 01:15:46,695
爹，小心哪

1001
01:16:00,511 --> 01:16:01,944
三龍，小心

1002
01:16:27,639 --> 01:16:29,739
我教訓教訓你這個老糊塗

1003
01:16:29,775 --> 01:16:31,942
三龍，住手

1004
01:16:32,920 --> 01:16:33,717
爹

1005
01:16:33,974 --> 01:16:34,774
滾開

1006
01:16:36,080 --> 01:16:37,777
還不向鮑世伯陪罪

1007
01:16:38,282 --> 01:16:40,173
多謝了，我受不起

1008
01:16:40,685 --> 01:16:41,782
跟我回去

1009
01:16:42,686 --> 01:16:44,878
不行，站住

1010
01:16:44,989 --> 01:16:45,990
三龍

1011
01:16:45,990 --> 01:16:48,481
爹，三鳳回去一定沒命的

1012
01:16:49,093 --> 01:16:51,793
三龍，這是我家的事，你別管那麼多了

1013
01:16:51,896 --> 01:16:53,696
爹，我跟你回去

1014
01:17:00,004 --> 01:17:00,666
走

1015
01:17:03,807 --> 01:17:06,408
爹，你常跟我們說要匡扶正義

1016
01:17:06,510 --> 01:17:08,612
現在眼看著三鳳去送死，你…

1017
01:17:08,712 --> 01:17:09,804
你有完沒有？

1018
01:17:09,814 --> 01:17:12,109
沒完，你對鮑笙鳳什麼都忍

1019
01:17:12,216 --> 01:17:14,850
你當這是報恩哪？不是，是傻瓜

1020
01:17:17,221 --> 01:17:18,852
大鳳姐等了你十幾年

1021
01:17:18,923 --> 01:17:20,318
你都不敢把她帶走

1022
01:17:20,525 --> 01:17:23,252
是你害了她，現在又害了三鳳

1023
01:17:30,133 --> 01:17:31,432
我們回家去吧

1024
01:17:31,435 --> 01:17:32,530
爹

1025
01:17:34,538 --> 01:17:38,531
我愛大鳳，可是更愛你們

1026
01:17:58,562 --> 01:18:00,230
爹又睡不著了

1027
01:18:00,464 --> 01:18:02,955
爹為了我們，快四十了

1028
01:18:03,067 --> 01:18:05,958
還沒人替他蓋被子，真淒涼

1029
01:18:05,970 --> 01:18:07,267
真淒涼

1030
01:18:07,471 --> 01:18:08,495
我也淒涼

1031
01:18:08,673 --> 01:18:10,970
你有爹，沒良心的

1032
01:18:11,075 --> 01:18:12,372
你真沒良心

1033
01:18:16,480 --> 01:18:19,272
後天是爹的生日，我們來給他祝壽

1034
01:18:19,283 --> 01:18:20,916
讓他好好高興高興

1035
01:18:20,985 --> 01:18:22,882
也算我們做兒子的一片孝心

1036
01:18:23,487 --> 01:18:25,578
太好了…那怎麼祝賀呀？

1037
01:18:25,578 --> 01:18:26,778
-怎麼辦呢？    -是啊

1038
01:18:27,291 --> 01:18:29,291
聽人家說，男人四十不補

1039
01:18:29,293 --> 01:18:30,558
很快會老的

1040
01:18:30,695 --> 01:18:33,587
是啊，爹才四十，頭髮就脫光了

1041
01:18:34,098 --> 01:18:35,696
爹全是為了我們

1042
01:18:35,796 --> 01:18:36,600
是啊

1043
01:18:36,801 --> 01:18:39,993
秋風起，三蛇肥，對

1044
01:18:40,104 --> 01:18:42,601
我們來個龍虎鳳大會，給爹補補身子

1045
01:18:42,606 --> 01:18:43,901
-太棒了…    -好

1046
01:18:44,108 --> 01:18:45,805
抓野貓，我最拿手

1047
01:18:45,810 --> 01:18:47,305
打野雞，我們倆包了

1048
01:18:47,305 --> 01:18:48,411
對，我們包了

1049
01:18:48,512 --> 01:18:49,512
那我們倆呢？

1050
01:18:49,513 --> 01:18:50,707
當然去捉蛇了…

1051
01:18:51,615 --> 01:18:53,305
我最怕蛇

1052
01:18:53,751 --> 01:18:56,453
你他媽的，等得老子頭頂都長不出毛了

1053
01:18:56,453 --> 01:18:58,487
說，究竟幾時才能動手？

1054
01:18:58,490 --> 01:19:01,024
老子十年沒泡妞了，快爆了

1055
01:19:01,028 --> 01:19:02,117
是啊，要爆了…

1056
01:19:02,259 --> 01:19:04,959
哥們，心急吃不了熱地瓜

1057
01:19:04,962 --> 01:19:06,657
光說不動有屌用

1058
01:19:07,064 --> 01:19:09,760
老大，武當劍法我已瞭如指掌

1059
01:19:10,067 --> 01:19:12,859
只要把鮑笙鳳的寶貝兒子弄到手

1060
01:19:13,870 --> 01:19:17,167
那幫少林小子想不死也難了

1061
01:19:24,481 --> 01:19:25,378
有魚

1062
01:19:30,386 --> 01:19:35,316
蛇呀…痛死我了，救命啊

1063
01:19:38,595 --> 01:19:40,487
-哭什麼，走啊    -疼死我了

1064
01:19:40,798 --> 01:19:41,987
不能走

1065
01:19:42,299 --> 01:19:45,400
我已經走了兩步了，走五步就沒命了

1066
01:19:45,402 --> 01:19:46,403
走啊

1067
01:19:46,403 --> 01:19:49,304
救命啊…

1068
01:19:50,307 --> 01:19:52,002
你已經走了幾十步了

1069
01:19:52,509 --> 01:19:53,709
那我怎麼沒死啊？

1070
01:19:53,810 --> 01:19:56,204
這是水蛇，不是五步龍

1071
01:19:56,313 --> 01:19:59,116
蛇頭三角的才有毒，吃了才補身子呢

1072
01:19:59,416 --> 01:20:00,515
你真行

1073
01:20:19,937 --> 01:20:21,928
這人不像人，鬼不像鬼的

1074
01:20:21,939 --> 01:20:23,237
是什麼東西啊？

1075
01:20:23,540 --> 01:20:25,840
這是印度人，最會玩毒蛇了

1076
01:20:25,843 --> 01:20:26,735
毒蛇？

1077
01:20:57,573 --> 01:21:00,068
他鬼鬼祟祟的，去幹什麼呀？

1078
01:21:00,177 --> 01:21:02,643
跟著他，準能抓到毒蛇，走

1079
01:22:35,772 --> 01:22:36,869
不像蛇

1080
01:22:48,785 --> 01:22:49,650
十官？

1081
01:23:05,903 --> 01:23:07,602
小免崽子，我宰了你

1082
01:23:08,605 --> 01:23:11,396
三龍哥，快幫忙，快來呀

1083
01:23:17,714 --> 01:23:18,611
弟弟

1084
01:23:35,632 --> 01:23:37,227
二龍，快來

1085
01:23:38,227 --> 01:23:40,227
快呀，快把他抱走

1086
01:24:44,801 --> 01:24:46,401
你…你懶人屎尿多

1087
01:24:46,410 --> 01:24:48,812
叫你看著十官，你為什麼去撒尿

1088
01:24:48,972 --> 01:24:51,472
難道撒尿也要看時辰的嗎？

1089
01:24:51,475 --> 01:24:52,940
你…你還回嘴

1090
01:24:53,177 --> 01:24:54,677
有尿就要撒嘛

1091
01:24:54,678 --> 01:24:55,778
找不到十官

1092
01:24:55,878 --> 01:24:58,178
-我扒了你的皮  -今年也不知倒了什麼霉了

1093
01:24:58,181 --> 01:25:01,277
-兒子丟了，女兒跑了  -你還嫌我煩得不夠啊

1094
01:25:01,277 --> 01:25:01,884
怎麼辦哪？

1095
01:25:01,885 --> 01:25:03,576
不行，馬上給我重寫

1096
01:25:03,787 --> 01:25:06,687
別說十條牛，就是要了我的全副家當

1097
01:25:06,690 --> 01:25:09,384
再加上你們十隻鳳，我都要一個十官

1098
01:25:09,393 --> 01:25:10,091
居士

1099
01:25:11,495 --> 01:25:14,728
道長，這幾年，我拜神多過睡覺

1100
01:25:14,730 --> 01:25:16,597
為什麼菩薩還要懲罰我？

1101
01:25:17,000 --> 01:25:21,505
居士，別著急，十官命裡注定要受小人算計

1102
01:25:21,505 --> 01:25:22,767
誰？這麼大膽

1103
01:25:22,906 --> 01:25:27,203
老爺，十官回來了…

1104
01:25:29,012 --> 01:25:30,272
寶貝

1105
01:25:31,472 --> 01:25:32,472
兒子

1106
01:25:32,672 --> 01:25:34,472
我的寶貝兒子

1107
01:25:38,172 --> 01:25:39,322
我的寶貝

1108
01:25:39,323 --> 01:25:41,220
十官怎麼在你們手裡？

1109
01:25:41,525 --> 01:25:44,492
十官被人拐到山洞裡，讓我們救了回來

1110
01:25:44,628 --> 01:25:45,827
是我們救的…

1111
01:25:45,829 --> 01:25:47,196
真有這麼巧？

1112
01:25:47,831 --> 01:25:49,993
好吧，你們要什麼，說吧

1113
01:25:50,834 --> 01:25:54,035
見義勇為，是少林弟子份內的事

1114
01:25:54,938 --> 01:25:56,399
你們真的什麼都不要？

1115
01:25:57,040 --> 01:26:01,235
要啊…機會難逢，你看

1116
01:26:01,745 --> 01:26:03,845
尋回十官，要牛有牛

1117
01:26:03,847 --> 01:26:06,042
要金有金，要鳳有鳳

1118
01:26:07,051 --> 01:26:08,651
爹每天晚上對月長歎

1119
01:26:08,652 --> 01:26:10,244
我看他是六根未淨

1120
01:26:10,854 --> 01:26:12,517
-是啊    -還有二叔呢

1121
01:26:13,657 --> 01:26:16,055
好吧，既然你那麼客氣

1122
01:26:16,260 --> 01:26:19,759
我們不要金，也不要牛，只要大鳳二鳳

1123
01:26:19,763 --> 01:26:20,864
還有…

1124
01:26:20,964 --> 01:26:23,258
還要什麼儘管說嘛

1125
01:26:25,869 --> 01:26:28,997
還要…老伯傳授一套武當劍法

1126
01:26:29,873 --> 01:26:31,766
想得到真美呀

1127
01:26:32,376 --> 01:26:36,244
果然不出山人所料，小人

1128
01:26:36,344 --> 01:26:36,980
你…

1129
01:26:37,481 --> 01:26:39,481
又是你這小子幹的好事

1130
01:26:39,483 --> 01:26:42,274
居士，你一片好心收留他們

1131
01:26:42,386 --> 01:26:45,311
得到什麼？恩將仇報

1132
01:26:49,393 --> 01:26:51,220
原來是你

1133
01:26:51,896 --> 01:26:53,698
放肆，滾

1134
01:26:54,398 --> 01:26:56,566
居士，你再不趕他們走

1135
01:26:56,570 --> 01:26:58,231
菩薩也保不住你了

1136
01:26:58,240 --> 01:27:00,633
滾，回去告訴你爹

1137
01:27:00,804 --> 01:27:03,099
從今以後不准住在龍河對岸

1138
01:27:03,107 --> 01:27:04,707
滾得越遠越好

1139
01:27:05,109 --> 01:27:06,476
恩將仇報

1140
01:27:06,480 --> 01:27:08,580
我們走，再也不回來了

1141
01:27:08,712 --> 01:27:10,175
走…

1142
01:27:10,914 --> 01:27:13,474
走好啊，不送了

1143
01:27:15,319 --> 01:27:17,810
牛鼻子，別得意太早

1144
01:27:37,841 --> 01:27:40,735
三姐，他們都走了

1145
01:27:41,245 --> 01:27:42,845
二姐也走了

1146
01:28:38,568 --> 01:28:41,369
哥們，咱們先到鮑家去快活快活

1147
01:28:41,673 --> 01:28:44,571
再找少林少子報瞎眼之仇

1148
01:28:58,789 --> 01:29:00,022
快進屋去

1149
01:29:00,590 --> 01:29:04,191
殺了這糟老頭，要金有金，要鳳有鳳

1150
01:29:04,294 --> 01:29:05,727
殺

1151
01:29:33,423 --> 01:29:35,816
阿鮑，快來救四鳳

1152
01:30:08,358 --> 01:30:10,189
阿鮑，當心

1153
01:30:14,564 --> 01:30:15,454
阿鮑

1154
01:30:16,566 --> 01:30:17,555
快走

1155
01:30:48,498 --> 01:30:49,563
阿鮑

1156
01:30:57,463 --> 01:30:58,263
當心

1157
01:32:24,494 --> 01:32:25,518
金絲甲？

1158
01:32:25,995 --> 01:32:27,694
你沒有料到這一招吧？

1159
01:32:40,009 --> 01:32:41,704
你怎麼會武當劍法？

1160
01:32:42,011 --> 01:32:44,279
居士，你不認識我了嗎？

1161
01:32:44,714 --> 01:32:46,008
原來是你

1162
01:32:57,026 --> 01:33:01,725
武當劍法雖有獨到之處，可惜你老了

1163
01:33:32,262 --> 01:33:34,253
你不是走了嗎？怎麼又回來了？

1164
01:33:34,764 --> 01:33:36,566
少林、武當雖有過節

1165
01:33:36,766 --> 01:33:38,455
不過對付你們這些壞蛋

1166
01:34:34,824 --> 01:34:37,918
美人，還是乖乖的跟我回去做押寨夫人吧

1167
01:34:55,345 --> 01:34:56,345
又是你

1168
01:34:56,446 --> 01:34:58,079
我以為你改邪歸正了

1169
01:34:58,248 --> 01:34:59,940
原來你還在為非作歹

1170
01:35:00,851 --> 01:35:02,118
天龍，小心

1171
01:35:23,773 --> 01:35:25,172
大哥，你去照顧大鳳姐

1172
01:35:25,275 --> 01:35:26,674
這瞎子，我來對付

1173
01:37:21,874 --> 01:37:22,674
看棍

1174
01:37:30,200 --> 01:37:31,801
他會金鐘罩、鐵布衫

1175
01:37:31,801 --> 01:37:33,400
管他什麼罩，看我的

1176
01:37:47,200 --> 01:37:47,900
來呀

1177
01:38:42,272 --> 01:38:43,466
別讓他跑了

1178
01:39:23,766 --> 01:39:24,566
三龍

1179
01:40:49,098 --> 01:40:50,292
海底撈月

1180
01:40:59,908 --> 01:41:01,199
把他扔下去

1181
01:41:01,210 --> 01:41:03,602
一、二、三…

1182
01:41:06,916 --> 01:41:09,013
我們大獲全勝了…

1183
01:41:10,820 --> 01:41:12,511
三龍哥…

1184
01:41:13,423 --> 01:41:16,717
-怎麼？    -我們大獲全勝了…

1185
01:41:16,926 --> 01:41:19,328
天龍，這次全靠你們了

1186
01:41:19,528 --> 01:41:22,528
救命之恩，無以為報，老夫…

1187
01:41:22,534 --> 01:41:23,331
老伯

1188
01:41:24,431 --> 01:41:26,231
那我爹跟大鳳姐的婚事？

1189
01:41:26,336 --> 01:41:27,628
還有二叔呢

1190
01:41:29,338 --> 01:41:32,141
那把你們四條牛，都牽過來吧

1191
01:41:32,741 --> 01:41:35,243
爹有老婆了，我們有媽了…

1192
01:41:35,245 --> 01:41:37,837
天龍，你這些孝順兒子

1193
01:41:38,049 --> 01:41:40,749
我真是越看越喜歡

1194
01:41:41,051 --> 01:41:43,942
伯母，我們沒有那麼多牛啊

1195
01:41:45,355 --> 01:41:47,653
每人一個雞蛋，總有吧？

1196
01:41:47,857 --> 01:41:49,791
有…

1197
01:41:49,893 --> 01:41:52,486
夫妻交拜

1198
01:42:05,909 --> 01:42:09,278
拜爹娘

1199
01:42:12,415 --> 01:42:17,011
爹、媽，請受孩兒們一拜

1200
01:42:17,820 --> 01:42:19,310
一拜

1201
01:42:20,623 --> 01:42:22,215
再拜

1202
01:42:23,026 --> 01:42:25,226
-三拜    -乖…免了…

1203
01:42:32,535 --> 01:42:35,026
今天是大喜的日子，應該高高興興的

1204
01:42:35,538 --> 01:42:37,438
免了…