1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:01,527 --> 00:00:06,237 2 00:00:06,287 --> 00:00:09,279 3 00:00:09,327 --> 00:00:13,843 4 00:00:18,607 --> 00:00:20,484 MARK: Guh... Dobby's new workplace. 5 00:00:20,527 --> 00:00:22,199 Look at them. 6 00:00:22,247 --> 00:00:24,283 Healthy, happy, young people. 7 00:00:24,327 --> 00:00:26,443 It reeks with the stench of optimism. 8 00:00:26,487 --> 00:00:28,523 - Hey, Mark! - Hi, Dobs. 9 00:00:28,567 --> 00:00:29,841 I just happened to be passing 10 00:00:29,887 --> 00:00:33,243 and I remember you were saying that if I happened to be passing... 11 00:00:33,287 --> 00:00:35,437 Two buses here, three buses home - five convenient buses. 12 00:00:35,487 --> 00:00:37,796 Great to see you, you big freak! 13 00:00:37,847 --> 00:00:39,917 Cool place. Wonder who's tried to jump her. 14 00:00:39,967 --> 00:00:41,366 He'll have had a pop. 15 00:00:41,407 --> 00:00:43,443 I'm just temping, but it's fun. 16 00:00:43,487 --> 00:00:46,365 Look, I couldn't help noticing that there's a Cineworld on the high street... 17 00:00:46,407 --> 00:00:48,523 - Oh, yeah? ...and I've got all these credits left 18 00:00:48,567 --> 00:00:52,003 on my Mega-pass, and I'm not up to much, so... 19 00:00:52,047 --> 00:00:56,165 Shit. I'm going out tonight for a big one with the guys. 20 00:00:56,207 --> 00:00:57,196 I'm a guyl 21 00:00:57,247 --> 00:00:59,681 lt'd be great to do a mega gulp and movie soon, though. 22 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,763 I'd hate us to stop being friends. 23 00:01:01,807 --> 00:01:04,241 Yeah... friends. 24 00:01:04,287 --> 00:01:07,916 Yeah, we're friends, right? Like, if I was having a party, I'd invite you, 25 00:01:07,967 --> 00:01:10,083 and if you were having a party, you'd invite me. 26 00:01:10,127 --> 00:01:11,685 - Well, yeah. - Exactly. 27 00:01:11,727 --> 00:01:13,285 - Dobby... - Yeah? 28 00:01:13,327 --> 00:01:15,636 - I'm having a party. - What? 29 00:01:15,687 --> 00:01:17,678 Yeah, that's the other thing I came tell you, actually, 30 00:01:17,727 --> 00:01:20,685 that I'm having a party. Would you like to come? 31 00:01:20,727 --> 00:01:24,845 - Um... yeah. - Trapped in a web of her own makingl 32 00:01:26,047 --> 00:01:29,403 Oh, God. I can't believe I'm having a party. 33 00:01:29,447 --> 00:01:30,846 I am so proud of you. 34 00:01:30,887 --> 00:01:34,357 There was everyone thinking you were just this fusty, 35 00:01:34,407 --> 00:01:36,716 sweater-wearing, spirit-crushing, 36 00:01:36,767 --> 00:01:39,804 no-fly zone with a ten-foot carrot up his arse. 37 00:01:39,847 --> 00:01:41,883 Yeah, obviously it is only a tactical party. 38 00:01:41,927 --> 00:01:44,566 I'm only having a party in order to eventually get sex. 39 00:01:44,607 --> 00:01:48,759 This is the only reason anyone in recorded history has had a party, Mark. 40 00:01:48,807 --> 00:01:51,367 Plus, it's great for me - perfect way to see Elena! 41 00:01:51,407 --> 00:01:54,877 - You haven't given up on Elena? - Nah. She's just playing it cool. 42 00:01:54,927 --> 00:01:56,519 And I just need to do the same. 43 00:01:56,567 --> 00:02:00,640 It's Snoopy in shades versus the Fonz in a fridge. 44 00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:03,042 Hi, it's Elena. Please leave a message. 45 00:02:03,087 --> 00:02:05,726 Oh, hi, Elena. Yeah, Jez here. 46 00:02:05,767 --> 00:02:09,555 Just to say, you know, me and Mark are partying hard this Saturday. 47 00:02:09,607 --> 00:02:11,837 I've invited everyone else and then I thought of you. 48 00:02:11,887 --> 00:02:15,402 So... there's going to be some cats from the music biz, 49 00:02:15,447 --> 00:02:18,166 a few cats from... film and new media. 50 00:02:18,207 --> 00:02:21,040 You know, a whole crowd of cool cats and crazy chicks. 51 00:02:21,087 --> 00:02:23,999 Chicks with dicks, chicks without dicks, guys with dicks. 52 00:02:24,047 --> 00:02:25,844 Maybe see you up here, maybe not. 53 00:02:25,887 --> 00:02:28,276 Bye-bye. Bye. Bye-bye. Bye. 54 00:02:28,327 --> 00:02:29,726 Oh, great. 55 00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:30,756 Oh, shit. 56 00:02:30,807 --> 00:02:33,002 What is it? Creamy Elephant repayments? 57 00:02:33,047 --> 00:02:35,322 It's from Sophie's father. His solicitor. 58 00:02:35,367 --> 00:02:39,997 Arrangements for child maintenance, visitation... Oh, God. 59 00:02:40,047 --> 00:02:41,958 Wow. That's pretty real. 60 00:02:42,007 --> 00:02:44,726 I don't want to stickle or negotiate. Wouldn't feel right. 61 00:02:44,767 --> 00:02:46,439 Yeah, just sign that shit up. 62 00:02:46,487 --> 00:02:50,116 That's what I'd say. Sign and recline - that's my motto. 63 00:02:50,167 --> 00:02:51,316 Yeah. 64 00:02:51,367 --> 00:02:53,164 Am I really going to take his advice? 65 00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:55,926 The finest legal mind of his generation? 66 00:02:59,127 --> 00:03:02,119 MARK: Only three hours to go. Three lasagnes to nail. 67 00:03:02,167 --> 00:03:04,158 Need another? Chicken lasagne? 68 00:03:04,207 --> 00:03:07,005 I've seen it on menus, but only at those pretend pubs at the airport. 69 00:03:07,047 --> 00:03:08,036 Hey, man! 70 00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:10,760 - What the hell are you doing? - I'm gaffer-taping bin bags to the floor. 71 00:03:10,807 --> 00:03:12,365 Right. Why? 72 00:03:12,407 --> 00:03:15,080 To protect the carpet from all the various fluids. 73 00:03:15,127 --> 00:03:16,845 But it looks like a crack den. 74 00:03:16,887 --> 00:03:19,959 I know! Why the hell have you bought so much food? 75 00:03:20,007 --> 00:03:21,725 Because I'm making four different kinds of lasagne. 76 00:03:21,767 --> 00:03:24,156 Nobody cares about the food at parties, Mark. 77 00:03:24,207 --> 00:03:26,243 They just want to get pissed and go ape. 78 00:03:26,287 --> 00:03:29,484 "Go ape"? I don't want people "going ape", Jeremy. 79 00:03:29,527 --> 00:03:32,325 Because there's a missing word, isn't there? Ape shit. 80 00:03:32,367 --> 00:03:33,595 Anyway, I haven't got time for this. 81 00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:36,320 I need you to start assembling an enormous salad. 82 00:03:36,367 --> 00:03:39,803 Salad?! Oh, "Did you have a good time at the party?" 83 00:03:39,847 --> 00:03:41,439 "Yeah, well, I got pissed and stoned 84 00:03:41,487 --> 00:03:45,196 "and this girl took her top off and danced on the sofa like in Trading Places, 85 00:03:45,247 --> 00:03:48,796 "but there was no baby leaf salad, so overall, big disappointment." 86 00:03:48,847 --> 00:03:51,202 Nobody is dancing on the Creamy Elephant. 87 00:03:51,247 --> 00:03:53,602 I'll do the salad in a minute. Right now I'm setting up puke points. 88 00:03:53,647 --> 00:03:54,636 Puke points?! 89 00:03:54,687 --> 00:03:58,646 There are seven puke points. The toilet is puke point HQ, obviously. 90 00:03:58,687 --> 00:04:00,678 And then I've gone round emptying the bins 91 00:04:00,727 --> 00:04:02,718 and distributing bags as secondary puke points. 92 00:04:02,767 --> 00:04:05,406 Oh, God. This could be a disaster. 93 00:04:05,447 --> 00:04:09,122 I want a night of edgy banter and tipsy indiscretions. 94 00:04:09,167 --> 00:04:13,399 He wants us all lying around in our pants, flinging shit at each other. 95 00:04:14,967 --> 00:04:17,640 MARK: Ugh, Sophie. Not again. 96 00:04:17,687 --> 00:04:21,316 I'm not having a baby - I'm having a partyl 97 00:04:21,367 --> 00:04:23,801 So what do you reckon? How many buttons? 98 00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:26,441 Cos, like, one is old-school, Blair on holiday. 99 00:04:26,487 --> 00:04:29,160 Two is the new one. So I was thinking maybe three, 100 00:04:29,207 --> 00:04:31,084 but then if I'm doing three, maybe four? 101 00:04:31,127 --> 00:04:33,004 I'm thinking of doing a reserve chicken. What do you think? 102 00:04:33,047 --> 00:04:35,880 Five lasagnes, Mark? Lasagnes can't save you. 103 00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:38,282 You are still going to have to talk to people, you know. 104 00:04:38,327 --> 00:04:40,318 - (DOORBELL RINGS) - What if it's Dobby? 105 00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:42,676 Don't snaffle any of the mozzarella. My ratios are right on the edge. 106 00:04:44,807 --> 00:04:45,796 Gerard. 107 00:04:45,847 --> 00:04:46,996 Hi, Mark! 108 00:04:47,047 --> 00:04:50,119 Tube up his nose. The tube is back up his nose. 109 00:04:50,167 --> 00:04:51,885 Oh, don't tell me I'm the first one here. 110 00:04:51,927 --> 00:04:54,202 You're the first one here. You're early. 111 00:04:54,247 --> 00:04:56,283 I came a bit early because I just wanted to say, 112 00:04:56,327 --> 00:04:58,318 obviously, what with the whole Dobby situation, 113 00:04:58,367 --> 00:05:02,565 I know things have been difficult between us, but thanks for inviting me. 114 00:05:02,607 --> 00:05:04,006 Not a problem... old mate. 115 00:05:04,047 --> 00:05:05,036 Ugh. 116 00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:06,759 I'm in a love contest with someone 117 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,798 who's one blocked sinus from intensive care. 118 00:05:08,847 --> 00:05:10,200 Drink? 119 00:05:10,247 --> 00:05:13,284 Oh, shouldn't. Stomach acid levels are still playing up. 120 00:05:13,327 --> 00:05:15,318 I don't know if you noticed, I've got the... 121 00:05:15,367 --> 00:05:17,039 Oh... no. 122 00:05:17,087 --> 00:05:20,363 She's not going to want to kiss around the mucus duct. Nicel 123 00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,806 I'm just on lasagne duty, 124 00:05:21,847 --> 00:05:24,805 then I'll make you a weaky. Enjoy. 125 00:05:26,167 --> 00:05:30,479 - Might tell Dobby he "came too soon". - That's big of you, inviting him. 126 00:05:30,527 --> 00:05:32,802 I thought it'd look petty and vindictive not to. 127 00:05:32,847 --> 00:05:34,963 And as a petty and vindictive individual, 128 00:05:35,007 --> 00:05:37,237 I have to take extra care not to appear petty or vindictive. 129 00:05:37,287 --> 00:05:38,276 (DOORBELL RINGS) 130 00:05:38,327 --> 00:05:39,362 It's kicking off! 131 00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:43,605 Can you help? I need to make sure Gerard gets incredibly fucked - 132 00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:47,435 booze, drugs, whatever - before Dobby arrives, just to be on the safe side. 133 00:05:47,487 --> 00:05:51,196 Chemical castration. Classic. 134 00:05:52,767 --> 00:05:54,917 - All right? - You've brought a snake? 135 00:05:54,967 --> 00:05:55,956 Yeah. 136 00:05:56,007 --> 00:05:58,475 MARK: Oh, God, he's brought a venomous plus-one. 137 00:05:58,527 --> 00:06:03,317 All these young spunks swarming about, you need a USP to gain a market share. 138 00:06:03,367 --> 00:06:06,404 Whoa, snake! Massive! What's it called? 139 00:06:06,447 --> 00:06:09,359 Dunno. Fucking rental snake, innit? 140 00:06:09,407 --> 00:06:11,477 It is... safe, isn't it, Hans? 141 00:06:11,527 --> 00:06:13,404 Yeah... Well, it should be. 142 00:06:13,447 --> 00:06:15,961 Red next to black, jump the fuck back. 143 00:06:16,007 --> 00:06:17,725 Red and yella, cuddly fella. 144 00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:19,280 But red is next to black. 145 00:06:19,327 --> 00:06:22,524 Yeah, I dunno... It's fine! He's been milked, I should think. 146 00:06:25,007 --> 00:06:27,043 MARK: Where is everyone? Where's Dobby? 147 00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:28,805 Oh, God. Our party's a disaster. 148 00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:31,281 Let's face it, give up. 149 00:06:31,327 --> 00:06:34,285 Call a truce, everyone can go home. We tried, we failed. 150 00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:35,919 Mark, it's only 8.45. 151 00:06:35,967 --> 00:06:38,401 Do you think it's the food? People hate the food? 152 00:06:38,447 --> 00:06:39,675 Yeah, that's right. 153 00:06:39,727 --> 00:06:41,957 You should have put more black pepper in the lasagne. Then it'd be rammed! 154 00:06:42,007 --> 00:06:44,157 You joke, Jeremy, but word travels. 155 00:06:44,207 --> 00:06:45,435 Word travels. 156 00:06:45,487 --> 00:06:46,966 No-one's dancing. 157 00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:49,601 Let's try some other music. You've had your chance. 158 00:06:49,647 --> 00:06:51,717 I'm putting this on, Jeremy. 159 00:06:51,767 --> 00:06:53,439 (POP MUSIC) 160 00:06:53,487 --> 00:06:56,479 Oh, for fuck's sake! I'm off to get a drink. 161 00:06:56,527 --> 00:07:00,156 Get one for Gerard as well. A biggie. And dance a bit as you walk. 162 00:07:00,207 --> 00:07:01,925 Dance! Get the dancing going. 163 00:07:01,967 --> 00:07:05,437 Hope the party livens up before Dobby gets here. 164 00:07:05,487 --> 00:07:07,876 It looks like the waiting room for a budget psychotherapist. 165 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:08,916 Hi, Mark. 166 00:07:08,967 --> 00:07:11,481 - Hi, sis, glad you could make it. - Let me tell you, 167 00:07:11,527 --> 00:07:14,837 I am just about ready to get totally and utterly off my fucking nuts! 168 00:07:14,887 --> 00:07:17,401 Great. You've noted the puke points? 169 00:07:17,447 --> 00:07:20,598 First, we need to have a talk about this six-page legal toilet paper. 170 00:07:20,647 --> 00:07:22,399 Yeah, the parental agreement contract. 171 00:07:22,447 --> 00:07:24,722 Yeah, thanks for having a look at that. Maybe on Monday... 172 00:07:24,767 --> 00:07:26,246 I already called Sophie and left a message. 173 00:07:26,287 --> 00:07:27,959 - What message? - Something along the lines of, 174 00:07:28,007 --> 00:07:29,440 "You're fucking my brother with a broom handle 175 00:07:29,487 --> 00:07:31,478 "and my brother doesn't like being fucked with a broom handle." 176 00:07:31,527 --> 00:07:33,961 God! No wonder she's calling me 24/7. 177 00:07:34,007 --> 00:07:35,565 No-one screws with the Corrigans, not any more. 178 00:07:35,607 --> 00:07:37,882 This isn't going to be like Mum and Dad's Dolphin Showers fiasco. 179 00:07:37,927 --> 00:07:41,442 RECORDING: ... Confidence in business, confidence in love... 180 00:07:41,487 --> 00:07:42,966 MARK: The perils of shufflel 181 00:07:43,007 --> 00:07:44,486 RECORDING: ... more creative, by following the... 182 00:07:44,527 --> 00:07:45,516 (MUSIC PLAYS) 183 00:07:45,567 --> 00:07:49,162 It's not mine! I just got it free with the Sunday Express. 184 00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:51,846 Great work. Raj Persaud on the wheels of steel. 185 00:07:51,887 --> 00:07:53,559 Hi, Jez. 186 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:56,075 Oh, hi. Great to see you. Remind me, 187 00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:58,800 did I ever call you back after you called me all those times 188 00:07:58,847 --> 00:08:00,678 after we had that great night together? 189 00:08:00,727 --> 00:08:02,638 You're a real shit, you know that? You're toxic waste 190 00:08:02,687 --> 00:08:05,326 and I'm going to make sure everyone here fucking well knows it. Have a good one. 191 00:08:05,367 --> 00:08:08,279 Oh, crap. Everyone's gonna know I'm toxic waste. 192 00:08:08,327 --> 00:08:10,124 Ooh, God. Elena. 193 00:08:11,167 --> 00:08:14,603 This is not all my chickens coming home to roost, Mark, all right? 194 00:08:14,647 --> 00:08:16,444 Don't stand there thinking it is. 195 00:08:16,487 --> 00:08:17,761 I'm not, Jez. 196 00:08:17,807 --> 00:08:21,197 This is all his chickens coming home to roost. It's a roost-a-thon. 197 00:08:21,247 --> 00:08:23,124 So, Jez. I've made it. 198 00:08:23,167 --> 00:08:26,443 Yeah. So I'm just spinning some tracks, actually. 199 00:08:26,487 --> 00:08:28,717 Well, maybe I'd better leave you to it. 200 00:08:28,767 --> 00:08:30,917 Maybe you should. Yeah. The cool-off. 201 00:08:30,967 --> 00:08:33,481 I'm relaxed. Snoopy on a 'lude. 202 00:08:33,527 --> 00:08:36,166 Who's going to break first? Not me, sweetheart. 203 00:08:36,207 --> 00:08:39,882 Yeah, sure, go on - talk to a guy, why not? Maybe I'll shag a guy too. 204 00:08:39,927 --> 00:08:42,157 How would you like that, hmm? 205 00:08:43,847 --> 00:08:47,396 MARK: Oh, my Godl It's actually going welll I'm an It girll 206 00:08:47,447 --> 00:08:50,962 I'm Plum Sykes. I'm at the hub of London's social whirl. 207 00:08:51,007 --> 00:08:53,646 Peaches Geldof and Gorby will probably be here soonl 208 00:08:53,687 --> 00:08:55,564 And the lasagne's a palpable hitl 209 00:08:55,607 --> 00:08:58,679 - How are you finding the lasagne, pal? - Mmm, it's great. 210 00:08:58,727 --> 00:09:02,322 Thank you. I think that's the tuna you're on at the moment. Glass of bubbly? 211 00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:03,356 Sweet! 212 00:09:03,407 --> 00:09:06,638 Look at me doling out the champersl I'm the greatest man who ever lived. 213 00:09:06,687 --> 00:09:10,282 Goodwill to all men! Did I just say "goodwill to all men"? 214 00:09:10,327 --> 00:09:12,158 - Hey, man. Look at us! - I know! 215 00:09:12,207 --> 00:09:14,357 - I'm having a good time! - So am I! 216 00:09:14,407 --> 00:09:16,682 I mean, not, actually, but it's like I am! 217 00:09:16,727 --> 00:09:19,036 Only negative is no Dobby. 218 00:09:19,087 --> 00:09:21,840 If it peaks before Dobby gets here, I've wasted a good party. 219 00:09:21,887 --> 00:09:23,878 Give her a bell? Let her get some flavour? 220 00:09:23,927 --> 00:09:28,603 What, like start a message then be like, "Stop it, Julio - grab your own cocaine. 221 00:09:28,647 --> 00:09:30,160 "I've got too much tit in my mouth"? 222 00:09:30,207 --> 00:09:34,485 Exactly. Gosh, everyone's going mad for the lasagne. Who knew? 223 00:09:34,527 --> 00:09:35,880 Your mates are loving the tuna! 224 00:09:35,927 --> 00:09:37,599 Yeah. They're not my mates. 225 00:09:37,647 --> 00:09:39,763 Gatecrashers? 226 00:09:39,807 --> 00:09:42,879 What, they're just some men who forced their way in here 227 00:09:42,927 --> 00:09:44,645 and are eating my lasagne? 228 00:09:44,687 --> 00:09:46,086 Dude, it just means we're a hit. 229 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,560 Jeremy, they weren't invited. 230 00:09:47,607 --> 00:09:50,485 If there was no-one here but us and them, it would be a police matter. 231 00:09:50,527 --> 00:09:53,758 Course he doesn't care. He didn't spend hours reducing the passata. 232 00:09:53,807 --> 00:09:56,605 - Mmm. You got any more, mate? - It's finished. 233 00:09:56,647 --> 00:10:00,401 And, er, listen, "mate", who invited you to this party? 234 00:10:00,447 --> 00:10:03,564 - Er... Mike? - Right, Mike. 235 00:10:03,607 --> 00:10:07,998 And which bottle did you bring? Can you please identify your bottle? 236 00:10:08,047 --> 00:10:09,924 Look, mate, we're not gonna be any trouble. 237 00:10:09,967 --> 00:10:11,446 Look, you've got to go. 238 00:10:11,487 --> 00:10:14,877 You can't just walk in here and eat my food and drink my booze 239 00:10:14,927 --> 00:10:16,360 and try and have sex with my women! 240 00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:17,806 My women? 241 00:10:17,847 --> 00:10:19,644 Look, we'll be good boys - promise. 242 00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:24,044 Excuse me, everyone. I'd like to make an announcement. 243 00:10:24,087 --> 00:10:27,318 These two gentlemen are party crashers. 244 00:10:27,367 --> 00:10:31,121 So I'd be very grateful if none of you spoke to them for the rest of the evening. 245 00:10:31,167 --> 00:10:35,001 There is an exclusion zone around them, a cordon sanitaire. 246 00:10:35,047 --> 00:10:36,605 Thank you. 247 00:10:38,207 --> 00:10:39,720 JEREMY: Look at him. 248 00:10:39,767 --> 00:10:42,964 Oh, hilarious(l) "Ooh, I've got a rented snake. 249 00:10:43,007 --> 00:10:47,080 "It's just like a bendy cock or a dangerous sausage. " Hilarious(l) 250 00:10:47,127 --> 00:10:49,687 - Excuse me, I need to get past. - OK, take this, Elena. 251 00:10:49,727 --> 00:10:52,366 - Could we have a quick chat? - What about? 252 00:10:52,407 --> 00:10:56,639 I just wanted to say I'm sorry about the way I behaved. 253 00:10:56,687 --> 00:10:58,723 It was basically because I... 254 00:10:58,767 --> 00:11:01,042 I couldn't handle the strength of my feelings. 255 00:11:01,087 --> 00:11:02,725 Pull the other one, Jeremy. It's got bells on. 256 00:11:02,767 --> 00:11:05,406 Seriously... Sarah. It is Sarah, isn't it? 257 00:11:05,447 --> 00:11:07,642 I think you're incredible. 258 00:11:07,687 --> 00:11:09,439 - Sure. - You're just a very... alive, 259 00:11:09,487 --> 00:11:14,959 very... incredible, very... sexual being. 260 00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:18,124 Yeah, well... don't touch what you can't afford, Jeremy. 261 00:11:18,167 --> 00:11:20,123 30-all in flirt tennis. 262 00:11:20,167 --> 00:11:23,876 Mark, there's something wrong in the loo. 263 00:11:23,927 --> 00:11:27,806 God, she looks like she's witnessed a war crime. 264 00:11:27,847 --> 00:11:30,077 Oh... Ooh... 265 00:11:30,127 --> 00:11:32,561 Looks like somebody's taken out puke point HQ. 266 00:11:32,607 --> 00:11:34,802 Oh, the humanity. 267 00:11:34,847 --> 00:11:37,441 Well, it must have been one of your friends - you deal with it. 268 00:11:37,487 --> 00:11:39,318 What, because your friends don't poo(?) 269 00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:42,803 Not at parties. Who comes to a party and does a massive poo? 270 00:11:42,847 --> 00:11:44,246 Sort it out, Jeremy. 271 00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:47,438 MARK: He must be here, the culprit. 272 00:11:47,487 --> 00:11:49,682 If I give everyone my best Paddington stare, 273 00:11:49,727 --> 00:11:53,606 the guilty party is bound to emerge. 274 00:11:53,647 --> 00:11:54,966 Could be him. 275 00:11:55,007 --> 00:11:58,886 He's looking pretty relaxed. Dumped a heavy load, have you, sir, 276 00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,599 on my time? 277 00:12:02,247 --> 00:12:06,160 Look at that. The Devil and Eve. And a serpent. 278 00:12:06,207 --> 00:12:09,040 If there was an apple, this would be a whole famous... thing. 279 00:12:09,087 --> 00:12:11,681 I wanted a pet with a bit of edge, you know? 280 00:12:11,727 --> 00:12:13,126 Something to keep me on me toes. 281 00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:16,477 Every day down at my flat now, it's me and him, survival of the fittest. 282 00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:18,961 I didn't want to go the full puma. 283 00:12:19,007 --> 00:12:21,965 I thought about a tarantula, but where are the good times, eh? 284 00:12:22,007 --> 00:12:24,396 With a snake, you've got a friend. 285 00:12:24,447 --> 00:12:27,280 A dangerous friend. You can touch him, if you like. 286 00:12:27,327 --> 00:12:28,646 I don't know. 287 00:12:28,687 --> 00:12:29,881 Go on. Stroke him. 288 00:12:29,927 --> 00:12:31,076 Stroke my snake. 289 00:12:31,127 --> 00:12:33,516 That's it. That's just fucking it. 290 00:12:33,567 --> 00:12:35,558 - All right, Jez? - Yeah, um, just an idea, 291 00:12:35,607 --> 00:12:37,563 but would it be OK, mate, if you fucked off 292 00:12:37,607 --> 00:12:39,359 before I ram a wine bottle up your cock? 293 00:12:39,407 --> 00:12:43,639 All right, mate. Chill out. It's only a phallic symbol. It's not me actual dong. 294 00:12:43,687 --> 00:12:47,362 It's all right, Hans. I just think me and Jez need to talk. 295 00:12:47,407 --> 00:12:49,875 This is it. I've got to say it. 296 00:12:49,927 --> 00:12:52,999 Look, I just, fucking... love you. 297 00:12:53,047 --> 00:12:55,925 I love you and I don't wanna play it cool any more 298 00:12:55,967 --> 00:12:59,960 because I would eat my own fingers just to look at your face. 299 00:13:00,007 --> 00:13:03,920 I will be your dog or your human mannequin. I'll do anything you say. 300 00:13:03,967 --> 00:13:06,640 I just... want you. 301 00:13:12,007 --> 00:13:13,918 You'd be a human mannequin for me? 302 00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:17,004 Well, yeah. I mean, I don't know what that involves exactly, but... 303 00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:18,400 I just thought you'd gone off me. 304 00:13:18,447 --> 00:13:21,359 I was trying to play stupid games, but I can't... 305 00:13:21,407 --> 00:13:24,922 I just want to fuck your brain into my brain! 306 00:13:24,967 --> 00:13:27,720 Oh, wowl I've pulledl I've pulled my own girlfriend. 307 00:13:28,487 --> 00:13:31,843 MARK: Great(l) My party and I'm the Miss Marple of big jobs. 308 00:13:31,887 --> 00:13:34,037 Can I ask you an additional question? 309 00:13:34,087 --> 00:13:35,918 Have you made use of the facilities? 310 00:13:35,967 --> 00:13:39,164 - I'm sorry? - You had an appetite for lasagne tonight. 311 00:13:39,207 --> 00:13:40,959 But did you have another appetite? 312 00:13:41,007 --> 00:13:44,716 An overwhelming appetite for faecal discharge? 313 00:13:44,767 --> 00:13:47,122 I used the bog, mate, but it was flowing clean as a whistle. 314 00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:48,998 It was after her that the problem started. 315 00:13:49,047 --> 00:13:54,041 Oh, my God. Could it have been? She was the last one to see the victim alive. 316 00:13:54,087 --> 00:13:56,203 Jesusl It's the crime of the centuryl 317 00:13:56,247 --> 00:13:58,158 I've cracked the Da Vinci Codel 318 00:13:58,207 --> 00:13:59,686 And it's horriblel 319 00:13:59,727 --> 00:14:04,403 Wow! If sex was an Olympic event, we'd win gold. 320 00:14:04,447 --> 00:14:06,199 You're so cute, Jeremy. 321 00:14:06,247 --> 00:14:09,239 Sex is never going to be in the Olympics, because of China. 322 00:14:09,287 --> 00:14:10,686 China wouldn't allow it. 323 00:14:10,727 --> 00:14:13,719 - (PHONE BEEPS) - Gail. 324 00:14:13,767 --> 00:14:16,645 Oh, the cock clamp. The Inevitable Hulk. 325 00:14:16,687 --> 00:14:18,803 She's finished. She'll be here soon. 326 00:14:18,847 --> 00:14:21,520 We'd best not talk to each other for the rest of the party. 327 00:14:21,567 --> 00:14:25,242 Oh, back to playing rhythm guitar. The backup. The human carrot. 328 00:14:25,287 --> 00:14:27,243 You know what, Elena? I'm not doing this any more. 329 00:14:27,287 --> 00:14:28,800 I love you. You've got to choose. 330 00:14:28,847 --> 00:14:30,883 - What? - Come on. Gail's had her go. 331 00:14:30,927 --> 00:14:32,918 Now I want first dibs. She can skulk around 332 00:14:32,967 --> 00:14:35,276 and you can have an affair behind my back. Except, you know what? 333 00:14:35,327 --> 00:14:37,363 No, you can't, because I want you all to myself. 334 00:14:37,407 --> 00:14:41,082 The truth is, the spark has kind of gone. 335 00:14:41,127 --> 00:14:42,685 She used to write me poems, 336 00:14:42,727 --> 00:14:45,844 and make me spelt bread with her bread machine. 337 00:14:45,887 --> 00:14:50,438 And she still does a bit, but, like, one loaf a month, 338 00:14:50,487 --> 00:14:54,321 and really short poems, like five or six lines and so on. 339 00:14:54,367 --> 00:14:56,085 She's taking the piss! 340 00:14:56,127 --> 00:15:00,518 Maybe... I should just... end it? 341 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,046 She's mine. 342 00:15:02,087 --> 00:15:04,885 Maybe we'll move to Russia or wherever the hell she's from. 343 00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:10,440 - I know what you did last summer. - Sorry, what? 344 00:15:10,487 --> 00:15:13,479 I know that maybe you think that now that you and "he" 345 00:15:13,527 --> 00:15:17,236 have parted company, that you're no longer responsible for him. 346 00:15:17,287 --> 00:15:20,962 Well, in my view, you are your brother's keeper. 347 00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:24,886 Mark, you're drunk. You're talking gobbledegook and balderdash. 348 00:15:24,927 --> 00:15:26,883 So cold. 349 00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:29,760 She's a heartless supervillain... Hmm. 350 00:15:29,807 --> 00:15:32,162 Maybe Gerard's a little too out of it. 351 00:15:32,207 --> 00:15:35,404 Be awful if Dobby's natural compassion came into play. 352 00:15:35,447 --> 00:15:37,278 - Mark! - Dobby! 353 00:15:37,327 --> 00:15:40,364 No need to explain what the hell it is you've been doing till this time. 354 00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:41,806 Let's get you a drink. 355 00:15:41,847 --> 00:15:45,396 She's herel But the party's peaked. 356 00:15:45,447 --> 00:15:48,678 Just got to make sure she doesn't run into Gerard or the poo... 357 00:15:48,727 --> 00:15:50,479 - the items of unpleasantness. - (DOORBELL RINGS) 358 00:15:52,047 --> 00:15:54,163 Gail. Great you could make it! 359 00:15:54,207 --> 00:15:56,357 - Hi, Jez. - You're about to get dumped. 360 00:15:56,407 --> 00:15:58,204 - Have a lager. - Thanks. 361 00:15:58,247 --> 00:16:01,239 Come on in to your emotional torture pit. 362 00:16:01,287 --> 00:16:02,561 Hello, babe. 363 00:16:02,607 --> 00:16:05,075 Yeah, that's right. Kiss goodbye. For ever. 364 00:16:06,727 --> 00:16:07,716 Hello. 365 00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:10,839 Oh, yeah. Hello-o. 366 00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:13,720 You're a very naughty boy, but that's all right, 367 00:16:13,767 --> 00:16:15,644 cos I don't really like nice boys anyway. 368 00:16:15,687 --> 00:16:17,643 I'd love to stay and chat 369 00:16:17,687 --> 00:16:21,441 but I've got to go and give that ill-looking man an enormous drink. 370 00:16:21,487 --> 00:16:23,284 Shit. I was on for a biggie. 371 00:16:23,327 --> 00:16:24,919 Is it petering out? 372 00:16:24,967 --> 00:16:28,516 Are you kidding? It's petering up. It's about to hit maximum peter! 373 00:16:28,567 --> 00:16:30,842 Oh, my fucking life. 374 00:16:30,887 --> 00:16:33,162 Oh, God. Look at that - some bloody... man has turned up. 375 00:16:33,207 --> 00:16:36,085 Probably from the council. You'll have to excuse me. 376 00:16:36,127 --> 00:16:40,245 Hi, there. And welcome. What a surprise. 377 00:16:40,287 --> 00:16:41,845 A party? Thanks for the invite, Mark(!) 378 00:16:41,887 --> 00:16:45,436 It's more of a sort of gathering that snowballed into a get-together 379 00:16:45,487 --> 00:16:47,205 and mutated into a party. 380 00:16:47,247 --> 00:16:49,317 I was calling and calling and Dad was down, so... 381 00:16:49,367 --> 00:16:51,517 I want to get everything sorted and above board, Mark. 382 00:16:51,567 --> 00:16:53,319 But obviously now isn't the right time. 383 00:16:53,367 --> 00:16:55,244 They've showed up, have they? OK, come on. 384 00:16:55,287 --> 00:16:57,005 Let's do the hucklebuck right here, right bloody now! 385 00:16:57,047 --> 00:16:59,845 Well, maybe we should just bloody well get a few things sorted out. 386 00:16:59,887 --> 00:17:02,276 But, but... I'm having... a party? 387 00:17:02,327 --> 00:17:04,477 My party's been pooped. 388 00:17:04,527 --> 00:17:07,963 Jeremy, Dobby mustn't see Gerard. He's gone over the edge. Get rid of him. 389 00:17:08,007 --> 00:17:08,996 Aye-aye, Captain. 390 00:17:09,047 --> 00:17:12,756 Bet Archer never did baby negotiations at his parties. Or very rarely. 391 00:17:12,807 --> 00:17:14,718 You two can piss off out of it, pronto! 392 00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:16,803 Jeff and Yvette from my book group? 393 00:17:16,847 --> 00:17:20,157 What kind of mad social chemist have I become? 394 00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:22,437 Oh, right, can't finish Atonement cos it's too dry, 395 00:17:22,487 --> 00:17:25,843 but you've got time to get fingered by Jeff. 396 00:17:25,887 --> 00:17:27,366 Very intellectual, Yvette. 397 00:17:27,407 --> 00:17:29,875 Hope you saw that depth charge I dropped down your bog. 398 00:17:30,807 --> 00:17:32,320 Something to remember me by. 399 00:17:32,367 --> 00:17:35,086 Oh, my God. There's a twist in the tale. 400 00:17:35,127 --> 00:17:37,118 Of coursel The butler did itl 401 00:17:37,167 --> 00:17:39,123 I'm so sorry, Suzel 402 00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:41,761 OK, so the headline is, we're not agreeing to sign a single page 403 00:17:41,807 --> 00:17:44,685 of this legal ball-sack without visitation rights locked down. 404 00:17:44,727 --> 00:17:46,285 Um, that might be putting it a bit... 405 00:17:46,327 --> 00:17:48,158 What sort of visitation are you looking for, Mark? 406 00:17:48,207 --> 00:17:50,038 - Saturdays, Sundays and Thursdays. - Three days? 407 00:17:50,087 --> 00:17:53,682 No, hold on. I was thinking about taking Italian lessons on Thursdays. 408 00:17:53,727 --> 00:17:55,957 Great(!) Now Thursdays aren't good for him. 409 00:17:56,007 --> 00:17:57,156 What days do you want? 410 00:17:57,207 --> 00:18:00,005 I don't know. Easter and Shrove Tuesday? 411 00:18:00,047 --> 00:18:03,084 What's he...? Salad spinner? OK, that's not a bad place to keep it. 412 00:18:03,127 --> 00:18:05,925 Now, our broader contention is that Sophie's not a fit mother. 413 00:18:05,967 --> 00:18:07,446 SOPHIE: What the fuck are you talking about?! 414 00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:10,399 No, sorry, we don't mean that. What are you doing? 415 00:18:10,447 --> 00:18:12,438 It's a bargaining position. We ask for the whole baby, 416 00:18:12,487 --> 00:18:14,079 we get Thursdays and Wednesdays. 417 00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:17,915 But I don't want Thursdays! I want to parle Italiano on Thursdays. 418 00:18:17,967 --> 00:18:20,925 - Sort it out, Mark. - Brilliant party(l) 419 00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:22,878 Make mine a childcare and tonic. 420 00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:25,122 Oh, great(l) Reptile abuse. 421 00:18:25,167 --> 00:18:26,964 Others get raided by the police. 422 00:18:27,007 --> 00:18:29,567 I'm going to get raided by the World Wide Fund For Nature. 423 00:18:29,607 --> 00:18:30,642 ...Fuck you. 424 00:18:30,687 --> 00:18:33,997 That'll teach her to write four- or five-line poems. 425 00:18:34,047 --> 00:18:37,562 Look at all that brilliant crying. 426 00:18:37,607 --> 00:18:41,122 There's another way out of all this for us all, if you were to do the decent thing. 427 00:18:41,167 --> 00:18:42,316 The decent thing? 428 00:18:42,367 --> 00:18:45,564 There's still a... remnant of feeling between you. 429 00:18:45,607 --> 00:18:47,563 I could make life quite comfortable for you. 430 00:18:47,607 --> 00:18:50,997 Give you a job at the seed firm... light duties. 431 00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:53,277 You'll do all right on 40K, 432 00:18:53,327 --> 00:18:55,761 living in Nana's cottage with your wife and child. 433 00:18:55,807 --> 00:18:57,559 Is this an offer your client is on board for? 434 00:18:57,607 --> 00:19:01,361 Oh, I think I can persuade Sophie to take this seriously. 435 00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:04,160 Maybe I'd be happy, driving the seed van around, 436 00:19:04,207 --> 00:19:05,845 with my country cottage and my family, 437 00:19:05,887 --> 00:19:08,401 reading the Sunday Times. 438 00:19:08,447 --> 00:19:11,405 It's so thick I can not talk to anyone all day Sunday. 439 00:19:11,447 --> 00:19:15,076 Monday to Friday, work and property shows and red wine. 440 00:19:15,127 --> 00:19:19,359 If I can just figure out Saturdays, maybe it would all be OK. 441 00:19:19,407 --> 00:19:22,444 We'd need 50K... and an extension on the cottage. 442 00:19:22,487 --> 00:19:23,556 45K and the van. 443 00:19:23,607 --> 00:19:25,404 - Done. - What? 444 00:19:25,447 --> 00:19:27,802 - Shall we shake on it, Mark? - Should I shake the man-hand? 445 00:19:27,847 --> 00:19:28,836 Um... 446 00:19:28,887 --> 00:19:32,516 DOBBY: Gerard? Fucking hell! Are you all right? 447 00:19:32,567 --> 00:19:34,398 What the hell are you doing in there? 448 00:19:34,447 --> 00:19:37,200 - Jeremy said I needed a lie-down. - Oh, that was nice of him. 449 00:19:37,247 --> 00:19:39,158 Come on, let's get you home. I'll take you home. 450 00:19:39,207 --> 00:19:43,086 No, don't take him home. He's fine. He's just had a bit of a disco nap, 451 00:19:43,127 --> 00:19:46,085 and now he's ready to par-tay, aren't you, Gerard? 452 00:19:46,127 --> 00:19:48,322 Are you all right to stand up on your own now? 453 00:19:48,367 --> 00:19:52,406 I think... If you wouldn't mind... just holding me for a bit. 454 00:19:52,447 --> 00:19:53,641 Oh, for God's sake. 455 00:19:53,687 --> 00:19:55,484 Could you call us a cab, please? We'll share. 456 00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:57,165 The same cab? But... 457 00:19:57,207 --> 00:20:01,485 But you live in Catford and Gerard lives in Balham. That's miles apart. 458 00:20:01,527 --> 00:20:03,404 It's illogical to share. It's crazy. 459 00:20:03,447 --> 00:20:05,085 I want to make sure he's OK. 460 00:20:05,127 --> 00:20:07,925 Plus, late-night minicabs... 461 00:20:07,967 --> 00:20:09,366 They're licensed, Gerard. 462 00:20:09,407 --> 00:20:10,965 Dobby is not about to get raped, 463 00:20:11,007 --> 00:20:13,237 if that's what you're trying so snidely to imply. 464 00:20:13,287 --> 00:20:14,766 So let's cut the bullshit, shall we? 465 00:20:14,807 --> 00:20:16,798 It would be more fun going home together, though. 466 00:20:16,847 --> 00:20:18,599 Oh, right, now we get down to it. 467 00:20:18,647 --> 00:20:22,276 They are not going to have a better time going home than I'm having at my party. 468 00:20:22,327 --> 00:20:23,521 Hello, yes. 469 00:20:23,567 --> 00:20:26,240 I'd like two cabs, please. I need two cabs - 470 00:20:26,287 --> 00:20:27,959 one going to Catford 471 00:20:28,007 --> 00:20:32,444 and one separate one going in a completely different direction, to Balham. 472 00:20:32,487 --> 00:20:33,840 (CHEERING) 473 00:20:34,887 --> 00:20:38,277 - What's going on? - Gail just asked Elena to marry her. 474 00:20:38,327 --> 00:20:40,557 She's got a proper hetero ring and everything! 475 00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:41,517 Wow! 476 00:20:41,567 --> 00:20:45,003 Oh, my God - she's grasping at straws. This is gonna be so embarrassing. 477 00:20:45,047 --> 00:20:46,036 Yes! 478 00:20:46,087 --> 00:20:48,203 (CHEERING) 479 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,283 She said yes. 480 00:20:50,327 --> 00:20:54,286 But... maybe she thinks "no" is "yes" in English? 481 00:20:54,327 --> 00:20:56,158 Jeremy! 482 00:20:56,207 --> 00:20:57,640 Isn't this amazing? 483 00:20:57,687 --> 00:21:00,281 This really is amazing. 484 00:21:00,327 --> 00:21:03,797 Oh, God. She's the best thing I've ever had in my life 485 00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:05,678 and I thought she was slipping away. 486 00:21:05,727 --> 00:21:08,241 You can't know how bad that felt. 487 00:21:08,287 --> 00:21:09,606 - Mmm... - Champagne. 488 00:21:12,127 --> 00:21:13,606 What the fuck?! 489 00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:15,239 - Whoops! - Whoops? 490 00:21:15,287 --> 00:21:18,996 Oh, the thing is, she gave me this ring and it was so romantic! 491 00:21:19,047 --> 00:21:23,120 God, this is so weird! Ah... Is this all right? 492 00:21:23,167 --> 00:21:24,885 It just feels so right! 493 00:21:24,927 --> 00:21:27,361 She's so suggestible. 494 00:21:27,407 --> 00:21:31,639 Like a sexy robot anyone can hack into and program. 495 00:21:31,687 --> 00:21:33,325 There it goes. Lesbian kiss. 496 00:21:33,367 --> 00:21:37,076 And no-one minds. Where have all the homophobes gone when you need them? 497 00:21:37,127 --> 00:21:38,799 God, people are so fickle. 498 00:21:38,847 --> 00:21:40,246 What are we celebrating? 499 00:21:40,287 --> 00:21:42,357 Gail and Elena just got engaged. 500 00:21:42,407 --> 00:21:46,320 If it makes you feel any better, Dobby and Gerard are leaving together. 501 00:21:46,367 --> 00:21:50,201 Right... who's got my rental snake? I'm gonna lose me deposit. 502 00:21:50,247 --> 00:21:51,475 Wasn't it in the salad spinner? 503 00:21:51,527 --> 00:21:54,519 Empty. We need to find him while he's still dizzy, 504 00:21:54,567 --> 00:21:57,604 cos if he gets his shit together, he is gonna be pissed off. 505 00:21:57,647 --> 00:22:00,798 Oh, brilliant(!) So there's a snake at large in my flat. 506 00:22:00,847 --> 00:22:03,361 I suppose I'm gonna have to buy a mongoose now, to hunt it. 507 00:22:03,407 --> 00:22:07,639 If your mongoose eats my snake, I will sue. 508 00:22:07,687 --> 00:22:10,838 So now I have to flat-share with Jeremy and a snake. 509 00:22:10,887 --> 00:22:12,718 Still, there's a way out. 510 00:22:12,767 --> 00:22:15,520 Nana's cottage. The seed van. 511 00:22:15,567 --> 00:22:17,523 Could get a dog. What would I call it? 512 00:22:17,567 --> 00:22:19,797 Warwick Kingmaker? 513 00:22:19,847 --> 00:22:21,439 Lambert Simnel? 514 00:22:21,487 --> 00:22:24,877 Too arch. Former Foreign Secretary Lord Carrington? 515 00:22:24,927 --> 00:22:28,602 Oh, God. This is all too much. This all too bloody much. 516 00:22:28,647 --> 00:22:30,842 Jez, I think I might have a bong hit. 517 00:22:30,887 --> 00:22:32,366 A bong hit? 518 00:22:32,407 --> 00:22:34,557 Yes. I've organised this whole party 519 00:22:34,607 --> 00:22:38,282 and I haven't had a single bit of fun all night. So yes, I want a bong hit. 520 00:22:39,887 --> 00:22:42,959 - Light it there and inhale there? - You've been watching. 521 00:22:43,007 --> 00:22:47,876 Mmm, maybe he'll become a pothead and he can start buying the stash. 522 00:22:49,567 --> 00:22:50,795 Are you OK? 523 00:22:50,847 --> 00:22:56,001 Fine. Fine. It's... it's not affecting me. It's not affecting me at all. 524 00:22:56,047 --> 00:23:00,484 Actually... I think I am beginning to feel something. 525 00:23:00,527 --> 00:23:02,722 - Yeah? - I think I'm beginning to feel great! 526 00:23:02,767 --> 00:23:05,076 - Great. - I'm having a good time! 527 00:23:05,127 --> 00:23:06,958 I'm enjoying my party! 528 00:23:07,007 --> 00:23:08,520 (CHEERING) 529 00:23:08,567 --> 00:23:10,285 Sophie, you can have whatever you want. 530 00:23:10,327 --> 00:23:12,921 I'll sign whatever you want, but I don't want a dog! 531 00:23:12,967 --> 00:23:14,366 A dog? What dog? 532 00:23:14,407 --> 00:23:16,363 I don't want Carrington. 533 00:23:16,407 --> 00:23:19,479 I want... Dobby! 534 00:23:19,527 --> 00:23:22,963 Dobby! Don't go! Stay here and... marry me! 535 00:23:23,007 --> 00:23:24,599 - What? - Marry me! 536 00:23:24,647 --> 00:23:26,922 I feel fan... terrible. 537 00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:29,879 It's still there! Where's a puke point? 538 00:23:29,927 --> 00:23:31,997 - Where's a puke point? - Puke point three, puke point three. 539 00:23:32,047 --> 00:23:33,480 Snake! 540 00:23:33,527 --> 00:23:35,119 (MARK VOMITS) 541 00:23:36,367 --> 00:23:37,516 JEREMY: Ah, poor guy. 542 00:23:37,567 --> 00:23:40,718 I'm not even gonna mention that he was snitty about my puke points. 543 00:23:40,767 --> 00:23:42,723 Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, everyone. 544 00:23:42,767 --> 00:23:43,995 Come on, Gerard. 545 00:23:44,047 --> 00:23:47,403 MARK: Gerard gets Dobby and I get a pukey bucket of snake. 546 00:23:47,447 --> 00:23:51,042 You are paying for that snake to be dry-cleaned. 547 00:23:51,087 --> 00:23:53,920 I bet you probably can get reptiles dry-cleaned. 548 00:23:53,967 --> 00:23:56,162 That's the world we're living in. 549 00:23:56,207 --> 00:23:58,198 JEREMY: Oh, what a disaster. 550 00:23:58,247 --> 00:24:01,080 Love is all you need? No, actually, Beatles. 551 00:24:01,127 --> 00:24:05,643 You also need a person to do it with, Beatles. 552 00:24:05,687 --> 00:24:07,439 Shit. 553 00:24:07,487 --> 00:24:09,125 Hello, Jeremy. 554 00:24:09,167 --> 00:24:12,000 Oh, great. Could turn her down. 555 00:24:12,047 --> 00:24:14,242 Yeah, dream on. 556 00:24:14,287 --> 00:24:15,640 Second lay of the night. 557 00:24:15,687 --> 00:24:17,643 This is the worst party ever. 558 00:24:18,967 --> 00:24:23,085 559 00:24:23,127 --> 00:24:26,358 560 00:24:26,407 --> 00:24:30,844