1 00:00:01,083 --> 00:00:04,170 Mm. Eggnog is delish. 2 00:00:04,462 --> 00:00:07,089 Dairy and liquor are one of those underrated combinations. 3 00:00:07,381 --> 00:00:09,592 Kind of like Garry Marshall and Hector Elizondo. 4 00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:12,303 They may be coming for Julia Roberts and Annie Hathaway 5 00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:14,639 but they're staying for Elizondo. 6 00:00:14,931 --> 00:00:15,890 I am gonna miss this. 7 00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:18,100 I am so bummed that Brad and I 8 00:00:18,392 --> 00:00:19,685 are gonna be gone for Christmas. 9 00:00:19,977 --> 00:00:21,437 Yeah, it's gonna be horrible. 10 00:00:21,729 --> 00:00:24,524 Me and Jane alone on the beaches of Turks and Caicos all day. 11 00:00:24,815 --> 00:00:26,609 Pooh. All those drinks 12 00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:29,111 and those massages and those vacation friends 13 00:00:29,403 --> 00:00:32,114 that we'll end up being closer with than you guys long-term. 14 00:00:32,406 --> 00:00:34,075 Oh, no, Jane. 15 00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:37,036 The temperature just dipped to 88 in Turks and 87 in Caicos. 16 00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:38,955 Uh-oh. Oh. Should we still go? 17 00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:40,331 Uh... Yeah. 18 00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:43,167 More like Jerks and Bac-Os. 19 00:00:43,459 --> 00:00:47,838 Bacon substitute, remember? And you guys are jerks, so. 20 00:00:48,130 --> 00:00:49,423 Ha. It's not great. 21 00:00:49,715 --> 00:00:51,842 So does everyone know what they're gonna get me? 22 00:00:52,134 --> 00:00:54,720 Tell us what you want. Save yourself some disappointment. 23 00:00:55,012 --> 00:00:56,889 I'd rather be surprised by disappointment 24 00:00:57,181 --> 00:01:00,309 than happy with what I expected. I never ask if a pool is heated. 25 00:01:00,601 --> 00:01:02,728 Mm. Speaking of gifts, Max, 26 00:01:03,020 --> 00:01:06,566 since tonight is the first night of "C-c-chanukah," 27 00:01:06,857 --> 00:01:09,735 we have your "C-c-chanukah" gift. 28 00:01:10,027 --> 00:01:12,905 While I appreciate you using the appropriate pronunciation, 29 00:01:13,197 --> 00:01:14,156 I grant you permission 30 00:01:14,448 --> 00:01:16,284 to use the more common "Chanukah." 31 00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:19,412 while you're at it, don't start every conversation with my dad 32 00:01:19,704 --> 00:01:21,289 by saying, "Can I aks you a question?" 33 00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:26,002 Okay. well, here is the greatest gift of all. 34 00:01:26,294 --> 00:01:27,545 Are these the Glengarry leads? 35 00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:29,922 No, those are for closers, you child. 36 00:01:30,214 --> 00:01:34,385 That is the number to the best housekeeper in the world, Gita. 37 00:01:34,677 --> 00:01:37,346 No. You can't let Max near Gita. What? 38 00:01:37,638 --> 00:01:38,598 She is amazing. 39 00:01:38,889 --> 00:01:41,058 The Polish Mr. Clean, Mama Giadki, 40 00:01:41,350 --> 00:01:44,103 is based on Gita. She even taught us the song. 41 00:01:47,940 --> 00:01:49,900 Don't worry. I won't let Max screw this up. 42 00:01:50,192 --> 00:01:51,861 Our apartment is in some serious need 43 00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:53,613 of some zgrabny. Thank you. 44 00:01:53,904 --> 00:01:56,490 I'm running a charity drive for Midwestern Bank 45 00:01:56,782 --> 00:01:59,577 and my Santa canceled. He's having a hip replacement. 46 00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:01,746 Easter Bunny would play through that pain. 47 00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:03,914 The event is tomorrow. Where am I gonna find a Santa? 48 00:02:04,206 --> 00:02:06,626 You go down to the DMV. Then you go behind the DMV. 49 00:02:06,917 --> 00:02:08,753 You find the smelliest guy there, Leslie. 50 00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:11,339 Leslie will introduce you to some randos 51 00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:13,090 who will do anything for anything. 52 00:02:13,382 --> 00:02:14,842 Well, it's not just for anything. 53 00:02:15,134 --> 00:02:16,802 It's 500 bucks. I'll do it. 54 00:02:17,094 --> 00:02:18,054 No questions asked. 55 00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:20,097 Really, you wanna play Santa? 56 00:02:20,389 --> 00:02:21,974 You hate holidays, and you hate kids. 57 00:02:22,266 --> 00:02:24,018 But I love making extravagant promises 58 00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,478 that I don't have to fulfill. 59 00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:27,396 Plus, Penny, I really need the cash. 60 00:02:27,688 --> 00:02:29,815 My limo business has hit a few "sh-nagsh." 61 00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:33,277 What? 62 00:02:33,569 --> 00:02:35,237 Why? 63 00:02:35,529 --> 00:02:38,741 Damn it. They got the spare? 64 00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:41,285 Come on, Pen. I would be an awesome Santa. 65 00:02:41,577 --> 00:02:44,455 I have a giant lap, and I look amazing in a chunky belt. 66 00:02:44,747 --> 00:02:47,083 You look okay in a chunky belt. 67 00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:49,085 Tell her how good I look in a chunky belt. 68 00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:52,213 Look chunky in a chunky belt. Guys, guys, it's Christmas. 69 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:55,966 Must we have this argument "agayn" and "agayn"? 70 00:02:56,258 --> 00:02:58,010 I'm sorry. I look great in a chunky belt. 71 00:02:58,302 --> 00:02:59,553 Cheers. Come on now. Cheers. 72 00:02:59,845 --> 00:03:00,888 Cheers. 73 00:03:15,861 --> 00:03:17,113 Alrighty. 74 00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:19,824 Hey, babe, I'm back. I... 75 00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:22,451 What's happening? Do you need help or...? 76 00:03:22,743 --> 00:03:24,286 No, I'm good. You got it? 77 00:03:24,578 --> 00:03:25,705 Yeah, I am good. 78 00:03:25,996 --> 00:03:26,997 Sweating a bit. 79 00:03:27,289 --> 00:03:30,376 I invite you to admire 80 00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:32,461 the first annual Christmas hub tub. 81 00:03:32,753 --> 00:03:34,672 Ooh. The hub tub 82 00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:37,800 turns pesky holiday organization into an art form. 83 00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:40,803 Recipes, tips, gifts, 84 00:03:41,095 --> 00:03:42,513 petty cash, 85 00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:45,891 and everything that we need for our tropical vay-cay-cay. 86 00:03:46,183 --> 00:03:47,810 Don't say "vay-cay-cay." Okay-kay? 87 00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:49,770 I even alarmed it. Mm. 88 00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:54,024 Oh, God. That works. 89 00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:58,404 Hey, check it out. I got the casheesh for our trip. 90 00:03:58,696 --> 00:04:00,906 Two grand in my hand. 91 00:04:01,198 --> 00:04:04,034 Awesome. I'll slip that in my old hub tub. 92 00:04:06,662 --> 00:04:09,457 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 93 00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:11,417 Yep. 94 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:18,090 I love indecent Proposaling with you. 95 00:04:18,382 --> 00:04:20,801 Max, gotta say, you're kind of rocking the Santa suit. 96 00:04:21,093 --> 00:04:23,596 Yep, yep. This is gonna be the easiest gig ever. 97 00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:25,723 I get 500 bucks to sit in a chair, 98 00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:28,392 put up with greedy kids telling me what toys they want 99 00:04:28,684 --> 00:04:29,852 and, bonus, 100 00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:33,147 the Santa suit really does show off my Max ass. 101 00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:36,358 Doesn't it, little one? What more do you need? 102 00:04:36,650 --> 00:04:38,944 And get a hot load of the jiggle belly. 103 00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:43,073 No, that I like. Ha-ha-ha. Yeah. Who doesn't? 104 00:04:43,365 --> 00:04:47,161 Yeah. I'll just turn it off. Ooh. 105 00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:49,038 It's not really turning off. 106 00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:50,956 It's... It's hot. 107 00:04:51,248 --> 00:04:52,666 The motor is really heating up, 108 00:04:52,958 --> 00:04:54,084 and it's a very focused burn 109 00:04:54,376 --> 00:04:56,212 that is... Ow. Ow. 110 00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:58,339 Ow, ow, ow. 111 00:05:02,718 --> 00:05:05,513 So, Al, you're really going with the coupon books 112 00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:07,223 that no one wants again this year? 113 00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:09,183 The gift that keeps on disappointing. 114 00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:10,976 People love my coupon books. 115 00:05:11,268 --> 00:05:14,355 Who wouldn't want a free basic haircut and bang trim? 116 00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:16,440 Or how about a nibble your name 117 00:05:16,732 --> 00:05:18,859 into a cob of corn? Who wants that? 118 00:05:19,151 --> 00:05:21,445 You know you want it. Pick a font, baby. Don't be shy. 119 00:05:21,737 --> 00:05:23,405 I do not want that. Helvetica. 120 00:05:23,697 --> 00:05:25,115 The reason you make these coupons 121 00:05:25,407 --> 00:05:27,368 is because nobody's ever gonna cash them in. 122 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,078 I remember one year you gave me one 123 00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:31,789 for a free indoor beach party. What was that? 124 00:05:32,081 --> 00:05:33,457 It would have been fun. 125 00:05:33,749 --> 00:05:35,125 Admit it. It's an empty gesture, 126 00:05:35,417 --> 00:05:37,378 like an e-card or a formal apology 127 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,046 after an anti-Semitic rant. 128 00:05:39,338 --> 00:05:40,965 They are not empty gestures, okay? 129 00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:43,634 I would love for people to cash in my coupons. 130 00:05:43,926 --> 00:05:46,512 I am gonna cash in every single coupon you've ever given me. 131 00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:49,098 Nothing would make me happier. Best Christmas ever. 132 00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:50,349 Good. Awesome. 133 00:05:50,641 --> 00:05:52,601 Ow, ow, ow. It's burning. 134 00:05:52,893 --> 00:05:54,728 I can't turn it off. The remote won't work. 135 00:05:55,020 --> 00:05:56,564 Remote is broken. It won't turn off. 136 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,107 Max. Ooh! t's burning. 137 00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:01,277 Thank you. 138 00:06:02,653 --> 00:06:04,905 So, what is everyone talking about? 139 00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:14,164 Babe, don't dirty up the place for Gita's benefit. 140 00:06:14,456 --> 00:06:16,208 If it's too clean, she won't feel needed. 141 00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:17,793 You want her to feel needed, 142 00:06:18,085 --> 00:06:20,212 give her more than $100 for her Christmas bonus. 143 00:06:20,504 --> 00:06:21,839 It's double two weeks' pay. 144 00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:24,133 No, that's how much an engagement ring costs. 145 00:06:24,425 --> 00:06:25,509 No, that's two months' pay. 146 00:06:25,801 --> 00:06:27,678 You're damn right it is. Just checking. 147 00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:29,889 Seriously, babe, we gotta give her 300. 148 00:06:30,180 --> 00:06:32,558 I mean, she knows about the drawer. 149 00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:35,853 Okay, 200, but anything more than that, 150 00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:38,105 she's gonna feel uncomfortable. 151 00:06:38,397 --> 00:06:40,983 Discovering that drawer is what made her uncomfortable. 152 00:06:41,275 --> 00:06:43,819 Oh, hello, Miss Jane, Mr. Brad. 153 00:06:44,111 --> 00:06:46,030 Merry Christmas, Gita. 154 00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:48,741 We have a special present for you. 155 00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:51,035 Oh, Miss Jane, Mr. Brad. Oh. 156 00:06:53,412 --> 00:06:55,205 I don't deserve this. 157 00:06:55,497 --> 00:06:57,249 Of course you do. You are the best. 158 00:06:57,541 --> 00:06:59,501 How can I ever thank you? 159 00:06:59,793 --> 00:07:01,003 You thank us by enjoying it. 160 00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:02,880 Oh, boy. 161 00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:06,216 Uh... No. I cannot accept this. 162 00:07:06,508 --> 00:07:07,885 Well, we tried. 163 00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:11,513 We know that it's excessive, but you deserve it. 164 00:07:11,805 --> 00:07:12,848 Oh. 165 00:07:13,140 --> 00:07:15,017 Oh, I am going to go call my sisters 166 00:07:15,309 --> 00:07:17,019 and tell them that you are good people. 167 00:07:18,562 --> 00:07:19,521 What? 168 00:07:19,813 --> 00:07:22,232 See? Two hundred, more than enough. 169 00:07:22,524 --> 00:07:25,361 Know what else is more than enough? Two thousand. 170 00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:28,530 You just gave her our trip money. Hah! 171 00:07:28,822 --> 00:07:30,115 That is impossible. No. 172 00:07:30,407 --> 00:07:31,951 I can show you right in... 173 00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:34,453 Yeah. I have it right here 174 00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:39,583 in the envelope labeled Tr... Gita. 175 00:07:39,875 --> 00:07:43,879 Ho, ho, ho, Santa is back from his third break, 176 00:07:44,171 --> 00:07:46,715 and he's ready to see if you've been naughty or nice. 177 00:07:47,007 --> 00:07:49,051 All right. What are you having? 178 00:07:49,343 --> 00:07:50,344 I want an iPhone. 179 00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:53,430 You got it. Next. 180 00:07:53,722 --> 00:07:55,683 Max, you gotta put a little more into it. 181 00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,309 Channel the Christmas spirit. 182 00:07:57,601 --> 00:07:59,311 At least channel the spirit of somebody 183 00:07:59,603 --> 00:08:01,563 putting the smallest effort into anything. 184 00:08:01,855 --> 00:08:02,940 Gotcha. 185 00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:04,233 Let's go. 186 00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:05,776 All right. Smile with Santa. 187 00:08:08,445 --> 00:08:09,530 Oh, what, Santa can't burp? 188 00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:10,906 This is the first time 189 00:08:11,198 --> 00:08:12,783 I've seen Oliver laugh in a long time. 190 00:08:13,075 --> 00:08:14,326 Well, he should get out more. 191 00:08:14,618 --> 00:08:17,287 I've been sick a lot, but now I'm fine. 192 00:08:17,579 --> 00:08:19,540 The thing that helped me in the hospital 193 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,667 was knowing Christmas was coming 194 00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:22,960 and you, Santa. 195 00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:24,962 Well, heh. 196 00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:27,506 Well, uh... What do you want for Christmas? 197 00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:30,092 Nothing. I'm just happy to be healthy. 198 00:08:31,927 --> 00:08:34,013 There's gotta be something you want. 199 00:08:34,304 --> 00:08:37,224 Well, my mom's car just got stolen 200 00:08:37,516 --> 00:08:39,435 so I guess if I wanted anything, 201 00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:41,687 it would be to forgive the bad men who did it. 202 00:08:44,064 --> 00:08:45,441 Well, you're getting a bike. 203 00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:49,903 Next. 204 00:08:50,195 --> 00:08:52,781 Please tell me you got the money back for our trip. 205 00:08:53,073 --> 00:08:54,199 I couldn't do it. 206 00:08:54,491 --> 00:08:57,786 She had nieces. Singing nieces. Wha...? 207 00:09:14,386 --> 00:09:16,555 Is that not so precious? Yeah. 208 00:09:17,598 --> 00:09:19,892 They have been practicing all day for you. 209 00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:21,268 Oh. 210 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,270 So, what did you want to talk to me about? 211 00:09:23,562 --> 00:09:27,733 Uh... I just wanted to give you this. 212 00:09:29,276 --> 00:09:30,527 What? More? 213 00:09:30,819 --> 00:09:32,154 Yeah, more. 214 00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:34,031 Nephews, get down here. 215 00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:36,200 Okay, clearly you're in over your head. 216 00:09:36,492 --> 00:09:38,744 This is all your fault... This is not my fault. 217 00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:41,080 How is this not? You gave Gita so much money 218 00:09:41,371 --> 00:09:42,748 while I did nothing. Exactly. 219 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:46,085 Once again, you did nothing. What? 220 00:09:46,376 --> 00:09:48,545 All right. I'm gonna get the money back from Gita, 221 00:09:48,837 --> 00:09:49,588 and you're gonna go to the drawer 222 00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:53,842 and think of ways to make this up to me. 223 00:09:54,134 --> 00:09:56,470 I have so many ideas. 224 00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:05,604 You know, this "dinner and a DJ" coupon 225 00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:06,980 might be the best one yet. 226 00:10:07,272 --> 00:10:09,483 DJ Alex Haley on the, whoo-whoo-whoo, 227 00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:11,819 ones and twos. Alex Haley? 228 00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:13,946 I used to be obsessed with Hailey's Comet. 229 00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:16,824 So it has nothing to do with Alex Haley, the author of Roots? 230 00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:18,700 She was a DJ? 231 00:10:18,992 --> 00:10:20,410 I was in high demand in college. 232 00:10:20,702 --> 00:10:22,287 All the black fraternities hired me. 233 00:10:22,579 --> 00:10:24,623 Sight unseen. You know what? Just crank it up. 234 00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:27,000 Wait for it. Let the beat drop. 235 00:10:27,292 --> 00:10:27,626 Boom! There it is! 236 00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:29,920 You know it! 237 00:10:32,714 --> 00:10:35,175 Pen, something happened at Santa's Village today, 238 00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:36,969 and it's kind of hard to talk about. 239 00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:38,804 I probably shouldn't even tell you. 240 00:10:39,096 --> 00:10:40,973 You can talk to me about anything. 241 00:10:41,265 --> 00:10:44,309 Well, there was this really cute kid who climbed into my lap. 242 00:10:44,601 --> 00:10:47,062 He was, like, wiggling around and whispering in my ear. 243 00:10:47,354 --> 00:10:50,274 And I felt something. Can't talk to me about anything. 244 00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:52,985 Pen, the kid touched me. You're gonna blame the kid? 245 00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:54,444 What? 246 00:10:54,736 --> 00:10:56,280 No. Ew! 247 00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:59,032 Penny, I open up to you, and that's where your mind goes? 248 00:10:59,324 --> 00:11:01,535 Come on. No. He was a sick kid, and I made him happy. 249 00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:04,163 That's awesome, and a relief. 250 00:11:04,454 --> 00:11:06,039 Hey, kids love Santa. 251 00:11:06,331 --> 00:11:08,792 You are not a terrible person after all. 252 00:11:09,084 --> 00:11:11,253 Sweet. This is the only store in Chicago 253 00:11:11,545 --> 00:11:12,671 that sells the porn I like. 254 00:11:12,963 --> 00:11:14,423 It's called Bloody Guys. Oh, Max. 255 00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:17,885 It's British guys covered in blood. Heh-heh. 256 00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:21,263 Think I'm gonna wait outside, thanks. 257 00:11:22,806 --> 00:11:25,475 Lady, give me your purse. What? 258 00:11:25,767 --> 00:11:27,186 "Lady"? I'm 30, okay? 259 00:11:27,477 --> 00:11:29,021 That's basically mid to late 20s. 260 00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:32,191 They only have regular gay porn. I can't deal with the mustaches. 261 00:11:32,482 --> 00:11:33,859 Hey. I'm Max. 262 00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:36,153 He's a little young for you. He's mugging me. 263 00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:38,530 Oh, hey... Actually, I'm not. 264 00:11:38,822 --> 00:11:41,283 I can't steal in front of Santa. 265 00:11:43,076 --> 00:11:44,578 Oh, my God. Well, you're welcome. 266 00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:47,206 And I wouldn't turn your nose up at dating a mugger. 267 00:11:47,497 --> 00:11:49,875 They're entrepreneurs. They make their own hours. 268 00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:51,877 They go for what they want, they take it. 269 00:11:52,169 --> 00:11:54,087 Okay, Max. That was really cool. I mean, 270 00:11:54,379 --> 00:11:56,048 you changed that kid's heart and mind. 271 00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:57,466 I don't know. 272 00:11:57,758 --> 00:11:59,885 I mean, you are a vessel for holiday spirit. 273 00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:02,804 As long as you're wearing that suit, you can spread it. 274 00:12:03,096 --> 00:12:04,806 Is there a world in which I don't have to? 275 00:12:05,098 --> 00:12:07,809 Max, I think you could do a lot of good as Santa. 276 00:12:08,101 --> 00:12:09,937 I'll keep my eyes peeled for opportunity. 277 00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:12,356 No. Stop! They'll be pretty obvious. 278 00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:14,024 Excuse me, Santa. Excuse me? 279 00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:17,486 Guys, people could be sleeping. Residential. 280 00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:20,405 What are you gonna say to Gita? I don't want her to hate us. 281 00:12:20,697 --> 00:12:22,449 I think I can handle getting our cash back 282 00:12:22,741 --> 00:12:24,910 from a sweet housekeeper, okay? 283 00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:26,161 Hi. 284 00:12:26,453 --> 00:12:29,581 Oh, my Christmas angels. 285 00:12:29,873 --> 00:12:32,167 Mr. Max just leave for his Santa job. 286 00:12:32,459 --> 00:12:33,543 Between you and me, 287 00:12:33,835 --> 00:12:35,254 I don't think he should be Santa. 288 00:12:35,545 --> 00:12:39,216 He has many drawers. Sinful drawers. 289 00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:41,093 Yes. well, Gita, 290 00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:43,595 we actually wanted to talk to you about some... 291 00:12:43,887 --> 00:12:44,763 I also want to talk to you, my angels. 292 00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:47,266 My sisters say to me, 293 00:12:47,557 --> 00:12:50,811 "Gita, you never do anything nice for yourself." 294 00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:54,898 They say, "Use the angel money to go on a vacation." 295 00:12:55,190 --> 00:12:56,566 well, work hard, play hard. 296 00:12:56,858 --> 00:12:58,902 Anyway, I... Then I remembered 297 00:12:59,194 --> 00:13:00,988 all of the brochures around your place 298 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,991 for the Caicos and Turks, ha-ha, 299 00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:06,201 so I'm going. 300 00:13:06,493 --> 00:13:08,829 You don't wanna do that. Yeah. 301 00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:11,206 Oh, yeah. You're right. 302 00:13:11,498 --> 00:13:15,544 I should invest the money in making bigger my cans. 303 00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:17,921 I'm sorry? They have been ravaged 304 00:13:18,213 --> 00:13:20,716 by so many years of breast-feeding my sisters. 305 00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:24,428 I have not been with a man in so long. 306 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,222 Well, I must go back to work, huh? 307 00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:32,769 Okay, thank you again, my Christmas angels. 308 00:13:33,061 --> 00:13:35,480 Thanks for leaving us with that visual. Ha-ha. Right. 309 00:13:35,772 --> 00:13:37,733 You handled that flawlessly. 310 00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:39,943 All you had to deal with was singing nieces. 311 00:13:40,235 --> 00:13:42,446 Am I to tell a woman she can't make bigger her cans? 312 00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:45,157 You know what? whatever, Jane. This is all your fault. 313 00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:47,784 I guess we're gonna stay home for Christmas. 314 00:14:02,799 --> 00:14:04,926 Start the car! Why are you running like that? 315 00:14:05,218 --> 00:14:06,178 It's how I run. 316 00:14:08,305 --> 00:14:10,265 Next. 317 00:14:10,557 --> 00:14:12,726 Come here, you little booger. 318 00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,311 What do you want for Christmas? 319 00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:16,897 I want my parents to get back together. 320 00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:21,068 Yeah, well, that's not really in my jurisdiction. 321 00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:24,613 What Santa can tell you 322 00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:28,325 is that there is a bright side. Two Christmases, two birthdays. 323 00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:30,786 When your parents date, you'll get what you want. 324 00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:32,662 The friend will want you to like them. 325 00:14:32,954 --> 00:14:34,331 My mom is already dating. 326 00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:35,832 That's Gary. 327 00:14:36,124 --> 00:14:37,667 He has a bad back. 328 00:14:37,959 --> 00:14:40,379 Yeah. He looks like he probably has gout too. 329 00:14:40,670 --> 00:14:42,339 Does he eat a lot of fish? 330 00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:44,174 Yeah, I bet. Hey, Gar. 331 00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:46,760 Why don't you take five from feeling up this kid's mom 332 00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,720 and throwing salmon down your throat, 333 00:14:49,012 --> 00:14:50,263 buy him a go-cart or something? 334 00:14:50,555 --> 00:14:52,182 Of course. Whatever he wants. 335 00:14:53,558 --> 00:14:57,104 Thanks, Santa. I love you. 336 00:14:57,396 --> 00:15:00,857 I love you too, you little freak gingey. 337 00:15:01,149 --> 00:15:04,486 Alex, it's enough that you maximized my closet space. 338 00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:06,738 You don't have to do all this by yourself. 339 00:15:07,030 --> 00:15:08,448 I'm gonna show you that my coupons 340 00:15:08,740 --> 00:15:09,741 are not empty gestures. 341 00:15:10,033 --> 00:15:11,910 Okay? Okay. 342 00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:13,912 It is so nice 343 00:15:14,204 --> 00:15:16,331 that you all came out to support me 344 00:15:16,623 --> 00:15:18,083 and kind of see me in my element. 345 00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:20,293 Well, actually, we came 346 00:15:20,585 --> 00:15:22,879 to donate some clothes and see Max cry. 347 00:15:23,171 --> 00:15:24,965 - Well, what else is going on? - Aah! 348 00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:27,300 Oh, not much. Hey, guys. 349 00:15:27,592 --> 00:15:30,303 Wow. You really are crying. I don't know what's happening. 350 00:15:30,595 --> 00:15:32,514 You've done a great job. 351 00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:34,474 Here's your casheesh. You earned it. 352 00:15:34,766 --> 00:15:36,726 I'd like to say I would take this money 353 00:15:37,018 --> 00:15:40,439 to go get the boots off my limo, but I'm not. 354 00:15:40,730 --> 00:15:43,275 I'm gonna go donate this to poor people. 355 00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:45,026 Which means I volunteered my time. 356 00:15:45,318 --> 00:15:47,904 I'm worried about you. I'm worried about me. 357 00:15:48,196 --> 00:15:50,449 I cannot believe Max is a better person than you. 358 00:15:50,740 --> 00:15:53,160 Brad, I feel terrible, but this is not my fault. 359 00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:54,953 I panicked, and you know when I panic, I steal. 360 00:15:55,996 --> 00:16:00,000 And that is wrong. But I'm gonna make this right. 361 00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:02,252 Oh, my God. It's Gita. 362 00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:04,129 Deny till you die. Right. 363 00:16:04,421 --> 00:16:06,840 That's him. Santa stole my money. 364 00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:08,800 What? I didn't take anybody's money. 365 00:16:09,092 --> 00:16:11,219 That's it there in my angel envelope. 366 00:16:11,511 --> 00:16:12,804 Oh, it's a joke. Borat. 367 00:16:13,096 --> 00:16:15,765 Nice. Ha-ha-ha. Very nice. 368 00:16:16,057 --> 00:16:17,476 I take the money. 369 00:16:17,767 --> 00:16:19,102 Come with me, son. What? 370 00:16:19,394 --> 00:16:21,104 No! I didn't take any money. 371 00:16:21,396 --> 00:16:23,773 I'm a Jew. This is a hate crime. It's a hate crime. 372 00:16:24,065 --> 00:16:25,942 Jane gave me Gita's number in an envelope. 373 00:16:26,234 --> 00:16:28,320 I didn't take anybody's money. Yes, you did. 374 00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:29,779 I had that in your apartment. 375 00:16:30,071 --> 00:16:31,656 You're the only one who could take it. 376 00:16:31,948 --> 00:16:33,492 You are as careless with your morals 377 00:16:33,783 --> 00:16:35,160 as you are with your underpants. 378 00:16:35,452 --> 00:16:36,745 You are a liar. 379 00:16:37,037 --> 00:16:38,371 Wait. There's only 500 in here. 380 00:16:38,663 --> 00:16:41,958 He spent it. No doubt on sugar cereals. 381 00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:45,337 No. Five hundred dollars, that's his Santa pay. 382 00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:47,088 He was moved by the holiday spirit 383 00:16:47,380 --> 00:16:48,465 and he was gonna donate it. 384 00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:51,551 Okay. I have to tell the truth. 385 00:16:51,843 --> 00:16:54,513 Max did not steal the money. 386 00:16:54,804 --> 00:16:56,056 Thank you. 387 00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:57,390 Brad did. What? 388 00:16:57,682 --> 00:16:58,642 I know. What? 389 00:16:58,934 --> 00:17:00,519 Good enough for me. Case closed. 390 00:17:00,810 --> 00:17:02,270 - Are you for real, dog? - Yep. 391 00:17:02,562 --> 00:17:04,105 Jane! I'll wait for you. 392 00:17:04,397 --> 00:17:06,316 Jane! Okay, stop. I did it. 393 00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:07,817 I accidentally gave Gita 394 00:17:08,109 --> 00:17:10,403 our vacation cash instead of her bonus 395 00:17:10,695 --> 00:17:13,073 and then I stole it back. 396 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:14,991 I'm sorry. 397 00:17:15,283 --> 00:17:18,787 Why didn't you just tell me? I would have understood. 398 00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:20,121 I'm sorry, Gita. 399 00:17:20,413 --> 00:17:22,582 Here's your real Christmas bonus. 400 00:17:22,874 --> 00:17:23,833 It's $200. 401 00:17:24,125 --> 00:17:25,418 Oh. Thank you. 402 00:17:25,710 --> 00:17:27,045 Wait a second. 403 00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:30,173 You only tip your housekeeper $200 for Christmas? 404 00:17:30,465 --> 00:17:31,424 I told you. 405 00:17:31,716 --> 00:17:33,468 Two hundred plus... 406 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:36,429 a trip to Turks and Caicos. Oh, my God! 407 00:17:36,721 --> 00:17:38,557 What? Thank you, my angel! 408 00:17:38,848 --> 00:17:40,850 Thank you, angel! Oh. Uh-huh. 409 00:17:41,142 --> 00:17:43,061 I must go call my sisters. 410 00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:46,481 That's kind of excessive. I was thinking more like 250. 411 00:17:46,773 --> 00:17:48,149 Oh! Hold on. Hold on. 412 00:17:48,441 --> 00:17:49,859 So you were ready to lead me away 413 00:17:50,151 --> 00:17:51,278 based on nothing 414 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,405 but Gwyneth Paltrow over here confesses, 415 00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:55,407 and she gets to sort it out by talking? 416 00:17:55,699 --> 00:17:58,034 I don't make the rules. Okay. 417 00:17:58,326 --> 00:18:01,913 We seem to have a situation at the donations bin. 418 00:18:02,205 --> 00:18:03,748 Help! 419 00:18:10,797 --> 00:18:12,132 Merry Christmas. 420 00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:15,010 What are you doing in your bathing suit? 421 00:18:15,302 --> 00:18:17,470 Merry Christmas! 422 00:18:17,762 --> 00:18:19,347 It's your indoor beach party coupon. 423 00:18:19,639 --> 00:18:20,599 Wow, guys. This is crazy. 424 00:18:20,890 --> 00:18:22,100 I helped, because I felt bad 425 00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:24,352 that Brad couldn't have his beach vacation. 426 00:18:24,644 --> 00:18:26,271 Yeah, it's basically the same thing. 427 00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:27,939 Is that... Is that cat poop? 428 00:18:28,231 --> 00:18:29,399 Probably. we brought this in 429 00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:31,401 from the neighbor's backyard sandbox. 430 00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:34,154 That would explain the syringe. Oh. 431 00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:35,572 So, Maxey, 432 00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:37,699 the charity event was a huge success. 433 00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:40,368 We got the most donations even though a lot of kids 434 00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:42,871 were scarred by seeing Santa do a perp walk. 435 00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:44,414 Don't care. Yeah. Really? 436 00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:45,749 Because I think 437 00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:47,500 you sort of enjoyed being Santa. 438 00:18:47,792 --> 00:18:51,212 Ugh. Fine. I'll go upstairs, put on the Santa costume, 439 00:18:51,504 --> 00:18:53,506 come back with presents for everyone. What? 440 00:18:53,798 --> 00:18:55,467 I'll get my guitar, sing the rock songs 441 00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:57,302 I've been writing about Christmas. 442 00:18:57,594 --> 00:18:58,678 Nobody's asking you to. 443 00:18:58,970 --> 00:19:00,680 Then I'll march my tush in the kitchen 444 00:19:00,972 --> 00:19:03,475 and make some soup because I'm just made of time. 445 00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:06,311 We're all set. Donkey kick. 446 00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:07,854 You're blocking my sun. Yep. 447 00:19:10,523 --> 00:19:13,360 I'm sorry I ruined Christmas. It was my fault. 448 00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,570 You didn't ruin it, all right? 449 00:19:15,862 --> 00:19:17,697 We can use the tickets next year. And look. 450 00:19:17,989 --> 00:19:20,575 It looks like Gita is having a great time. 451 00:19:20,867 --> 00:19:22,661 "Relaxing on the beach. 452 00:19:22,952 --> 00:19:25,538 Thank you, Miss Jane and Mr. Brad." Aww. 453 00:19:25,830 --> 00:19:28,291 I don't know. Maybe she should have gotten her cans done. 454 00:19:28,583 --> 00:19:30,835 Who is that hot guy she's sitting next to? 455 00:19:31,127 --> 00:19:33,171 Looks like Gita got her groove back. 456 00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:34,422 Yeah. 457 00:19:34,714 --> 00:19:36,549 Oh! Mm. Give me a kiss. Mm. 458 00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:39,094 Wow, I'm impressed. 459 00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:41,096 You actually finished all the coupons. 460 00:19:41,388 --> 00:19:42,972 It wasn't an empty gesture after all. 461 00:19:43,264 --> 00:19:44,641 If I'm gonna be honest, 462 00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:46,935 I didn't mind that people didn't cash them in. 463 00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:49,312 I knew it. But I'm glad that you did. 464 00:19:49,604 --> 00:19:52,691 It's the most time we've spent together since we broke up. 465 00:19:52,982 --> 00:19:55,485 Yeah, it's been pretty cool. So. Yeah. 466 00:19:57,696 --> 00:19:59,656 Oh. This is an old one. 467 00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:01,408 "One free kiss, 468 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,952 even if I've just put on lip gloss." 469 00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:05,995 well, I wouldn't hold you to this guy. 470 00:20:06,287 --> 00:20:08,748 Well, I did agree to do all the coupons. 471 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,710 Yep. Yeah, you... You kind of did. 472 00:20:12,001 --> 00:20:14,212 Well, it would be a shame if you got this close 473 00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:15,880 and you didn't finish. 474 00:20:16,172 --> 00:20:17,966 Total shame. 475 00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:22,679 These sandcastles look like boobs. 476 00:20:33,022 --> 00:20:34,649 Well, that's done. Yeah. 477 00:20:34,941 --> 00:20:36,735 Ho-ho-ho! 478 00:20:37,026 --> 00:20:39,028 Merry Christmas! 479 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,448 Merry Christmas! 480 00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:43,825 That's my laundry! 481 00:20:44,117 --> 00:20:44,993 Get in there. 482 00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:46,870 No. 483 00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:49,539 I grabbed whatever stuff I could find. 484 00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:52,250 And these are Penny's delicates. No! 485 00:20:52,542 --> 00:20:54,502 Yeah. Ho-ho-ho! 486 00:20:54,794 --> 00:20:56,087 Give me those! 487 00:20:56,379 --> 00:20:58,173 Grab a pair of undies! No! 488 00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:00,341 Grab a pair of bras! 489 00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:03,428 Oh, my God. That's amazing. 490 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,388 Wouldn't believe it unless I saw it. 491 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:06,806 It's incredible. 492 00:21:07,098 --> 00:21:08,516 Astounding. 493 00:21:08,808 --> 00:21:10,602 I don't know whether to laugh or to cry. 494 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:16,858 Ooh! 495 00:21:17,150 --> 00:21:18,818 Ahh. 496 00:21:19,110 --> 00:21:21,613 Perfect Helvetica. 497 00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:24,824 Ohh! Aah! 498 00:21:26,409 --> 00:21:27,702 Happy holidays 499 00:21:27,994 --> 00:21:29,621 from Happy Endings!