1 00:00:02,369 --> 00:00:05,304 Alan Townsend's flight landed in Rome two hours ago. 2 00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:07,533 Taking into account time stuck in lmmigration 3 00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:09,838 and adding an hour for the cab ride, 4 00:00:09,876 --> 00:00:12,242 he should be safely within the walls of Vatican City 5 00:00:12,278 --> 00:00:15,042 right about 6 00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:17,641 now. 7 00:00:19,386 --> 00:00:21,581 - He'll call, Sam. - I wouldn't sweat it, man. 8 00:00:23,256 --> 00:00:25,554 I have to get ready for work. Watch my phone. 9 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,690 Aye aye. So bossy. 10 00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:41,971 Oh, I love it. 11 00:00:42,008 --> 00:00:43,703 I knew you'd rock a turtleneck. 12 00:00:43,743 --> 00:00:46,075 - What are you doing? - Upscaling your look. 13 00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:47,636 Oh, no no, I'm fine with my look. 14 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:49,409 Oh, Sammy, I know you want to resist it, 15 00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:52,543 but I really expect you to rise to the heights of political power here on earth, 16 00:00:52,585 --> 00:00:55,520 seize control of the planet and hasten the apocalypse. 17 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:58,854 And what you wear reflects directly on me as a parent. 18 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,985 And as a stylist. 19 00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:02,324 Try these slacks. 20 00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:04,762 I'll go dig up a pair of Beatle boots. 21 00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:11,169 Oh, I have more good news. 22 00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:13,798 I'm granting you a little break from catching souls. 23 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,502 - You are? - Yes, I'm sending you to a tutor. 24 00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:19,410 Someone who'll give you a higher education in the ways of the wicked. 25 00:01:19,446 --> 00:01:22,506 She's expecting you today. 26 00:01:24,317 --> 00:01:26,080 - What's with the circles? - You like it? 27 00:01:26,119 --> 00:01:27,882 It represents the nine circles of hell. 28 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,786 I contracted an advertising firm 29 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:32,087 to help me spin a few branding ideas. 30 00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:33,717 I think it's nifty. 31 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,893 Hey, I have another surprise for you. 32 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:41,560 A gift. Something to put a little testosterone in your tank. 33 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:44,195 - Huh? - You got me a motorcycle? 34 00:01:44,237 --> 00:01:45,795 Go on, hop on. 35 00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:48,239 I want to see those thighs vibrating with pure aggression. 36 00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:52,540 All right, what's the catch? 37 00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:55,207 Catch? There's no catch. 38 00:01:55,248 --> 00:01:57,182 My generosity in this instance 39 00:01:57,217 --> 00:01:59,242 is more a softening of the blow. 40 00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:03,852 - I got him. - Got who? 41 00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:05,187 Alan Townsend. 42 00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:07,819 He never made it to Vatican City. 43 00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:09,522 I had his plane grounded in Vegas 44 00:02:09,562 --> 00:02:11,496 and he went into a sin spiral so decadent 45 00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:13,692 that he was back in hell before Carrot Top took the stage. 46 00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:15,325 Boo-yah! 47 00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,633 Come on, I stabbed you in the back fair and square, man. 48 00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:20,298 It's impolite to leave me hanging. 49 00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:22,501 I hate you. 50 00:02:22,542 --> 00:02:25,375 Hey, don't walk away mad, son. 51 00:02:25,411 --> 00:02:28,403 I'm not done showering you with spectacular gifts. 52 00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:32,951 Perhaps now's not the time. 53 00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:51,460 Hey. What are you doing here? 54 00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,904 Sock and Ben asked me to come over and watch over your phone. 55 00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:57,034 - Where'd they go? - They said they had to go exercise. 56 00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:06,818 You know what? The call's not coming. The Devil got Alan. 57 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:08,718 Oh no. 58 00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:10,416 God, Sam, I'm so sorry. 59 00:03:10,456 --> 00:03:12,321 No, don't feel sorry for me. Feel sorry for the Devil 60 00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:14,724 because I have had it up to here with that son of a bitch. 61 00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:17,628 - He is in my sights. - What does that mean? 62 00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:20,258 And why are you dressed like a '70s porn star? 63 00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,791 It means I'm done playing nice. 64 00:03:22,835 --> 00:03:25,861 - I'm taking him on. - How are you gonna take him on, Sam? 65 00:03:25,905 --> 00:03:28,066 I mean, he's the Devil. He's packing a lot of evil. 66 00:03:28,107 --> 00:03:29,631 Yeah, well, he's also wearing blinders. 67 00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:31,041 He's convinced that I'm a pushover, 68 00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:32,908 that I'm afraid to fight fire with fire. 69 00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:35,710 Well, I'm not and I will. 70 00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:43,317 This is only motivation. 71 00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:03,966 Nina? 72 00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:05,443 What are you doing up there? 73 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:10,910 Listen, I broke up with you, okay? We're over. 74 00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:13,942 Now I had hoped that you would respect my decision... 75 00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:18,119 Damn it, Nina. 76 00:04:18,157 --> 00:04:21,558 That is a 62-piece Handy Dad socket set. 77 00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:24,688 It's coming right out of my paycheck. 78 00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:45,679 Uh, okay, Nina, acting out like this isn't healthy, all right? 79 00:04:45,718 --> 00:04:48,278 I mean, have you ever considered directing your rage 80 00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:51,552 into an anger journal or graffiti art? 81 00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:53,991 Okay, let's not lose sight of what we shared. 82 00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,995 You know, the tenderness, the pillow talk, 83 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:59,556 our lazy afternoons watching "Ellen" 84 00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:01,567 dancing along. 85 00:05:04,937 --> 00:05:07,735 Ow. 86 00:05:28,027 --> 00:05:29,619 Yes? 87 00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,129 Yeah, hi. I'm Sam Oliver. 88 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,631 I have an appointment. 89 00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:34,963 I'm not taking appointments today. 90 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,765 I was told to come here for tutoring. The Devil sent me. 91 00:05:37,804 --> 00:05:41,399 That bastard. He knows I'm on a cleanse. 92 00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:43,432 Let yourself in. I'll meet you in the study. 93 00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:44,875 It's the room with the chalkboard. 94 00:06:03,996 --> 00:06:06,260 Let's get the formalities out of the way, shall we? 95 00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:08,631 My name is Sally but I'd like you to call me teacher. 96 00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:11,762 - My name is Sam. - I don't remember asking. 97 00:06:11,804 --> 00:06:15,240 Now am I to assume you are the Devil's offspring? 98 00:06:15,274 --> 00:06:16,605 So I'm told. 99 00:06:16,642 --> 00:06:18,633 And am I to assume you're in training 100 00:06:18,678 --> 00:06:21,613 to bring about the end of days? 101 00:06:21,647 --> 00:06:24,445 Right. Well, I'd like to ask you a few questions, 102 00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:26,952 let me get a better understanding of what you already know 103 00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:29,784 regarding hell and damnation and where I need to fill in the gaps. 104 00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:32,256 - Right. - Do you read Latin? 105 00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:33,758 No. 106 00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:36,421 Have you ever read the Bible, either Testament? 107 00:06:36,462 --> 00:06:39,124 - No. - Have you ever heard of the Antichrist? 108 00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:41,156 Yes. Wait. 109 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:44,226 No. I was thinking the other guy, sorry. 110 00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:46,534 And on a scale of zero to 10 111 00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:48,699 where would you rank your bloodlust? 112 00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:52,343 I'd have to say a solid two. 113 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,438 - I can't help you. - What? 114 00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:59,212 Why must the Devil insist on wasting my time? 115 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:02,278 It's very apparent that you need preschooling. 116 00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:03,913 You know what? I don't want to be here anyway. 117 00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:06,049 - You don't? - No, I don't want any of this. 118 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,957 I don't want to learn about the Devil's business. 119 00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:11,088 Wait, you know what? There is one thing you could help me with. 120 00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:13,530 How do I destroy him? 121 00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:17,332 You want to destroy the Devil? Your father? 122 00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:20,271 Yeah, you're an expert on hell and the Devil, how do I kill him? 123 00:07:20,306 --> 00:07:23,104 How do I blow him up, chop him up, acid dip him? 124 00:07:23,142 --> 00:07:25,167 Whatever, I'll do it. 125 00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:29,477 You're a liar. 126 00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:30,675 What? 127 00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:33,879 Well, you said your bloodlust was at a two. 128 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,480 I'd say you're running at at least a seven. 129 00:07:41,994 --> 00:07:44,019 So you're here all by yourself? 130 00:07:44,063 --> 00:07:46,896 Yes, my mansion... 131 00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:50,369 12,000 square feet of gilded cage. 132 00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:53,839 But the Devil pays the rent so who am I to complain, right? 133 00:07:53,873 --> 00:07:56,307 Must get a little lonely. 134 00:07:57,944 --> 00:07:59,844 Yes, it does. 135 00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:03,542 But undoubtedly that was the Devil's intention. 136 00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:08,350 Can I ask you a favor? 137 00:08:08,387 --> 00:08:10,378 Maybe. 138 00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:11,947 Can I come back tomorrow? 139 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,959 The Devil's expecting me to show up. 140 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:16,791 If I could come and hang out he'd be out of my hair for a couple hours 141 00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:19,024 and you'd be doing me a huge favor. 142 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:22,861 Why not? 143 00:08:22,902 --> 00:08:25,393 I certainly could use the company. 144 00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:27,531 Great. 145 00:08:29,208 --> 00:08:30,573 Till tomorrow. 146 00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:32,134 Till tomorrow. 147 00:08:38,317 --> 00:08:40,012 I tell you, it was horrible. 148 00:08:40,052 --> 00:08:42,145 Nina's eyes actually roll in the back of her head 149 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,053 when she attacks like a shark. 150 00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:45,580 - I'm thinking about buying a gun. - What? 151 00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:48,116 - For protection. - Oh, Ben, look. 152 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,424 Ben's having crazy ex problems right now. 153 00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:52,897 I have seen my share of nutty bitches. 154 00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:56,129 Yeah. Ben, buying a gun is a mistake, all right? 155 00:08:56,168 --> 00:08:57,795 - Why? - Why? 156 00:08:57,837 --> 00:09:00,135 'Cause Nina's picking a fight. She wants you to fight back. 157 00:09:00,172 --> 00:09:02,140 - Don't play the game. - You think she's playing a game? 158 00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:04,369 Of course she's playing a game. 159 00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:07,345 They all play games, man. Look, your relationship went cold, all right? 160 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,972 She's trying to relight the fire. 161 00:09:09,015 --> 00:09:11,813 Only second time around that fire isn't fueled by love 162 00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:14,046 or lust, it's fueled by anger and petty revenge 163 00:09:14,086 --> 00:09:16,611 which rarely leads to satisfying hate sex, all right? 164 00:09:16,656 --> 00:09:19,523 - Maybe you're right. - Oh, I know I'm right. 165 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,119 Listen, next time Nina comes stalking around, you ignore her. 166 00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:24,254 Tune her out. She'll lose interest, I promise. 167 00:09:31,437 --> 00:09:33,428 $400. 168 00:09:37,476 --> 00:09:39,444 - Hey. - Hey. 169 00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:42,345 I need afternoons off for the next week. Devil business. 170 00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:45,407 - I'll see what I can do. - Thanks. 171 00:09:45,451 --> 00:09:47,783 - Um... - What? 172 00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:49,651 There's something I need to tell you. 173 00:09:49,689 --> 00:09:52,089 Something potentially upsetting. 174 00:09:52,124 --> 00:09:53,591 Okay. 175 00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:55,059 I met a girl. 176 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,460 - Oh. - Yeah. 177 00:09:57,496 --> 00:09:59,726 She works for the Devil. Kind of a professor. 178 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:01,630 An expert on hell. Very knowledgeable. 179 00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:03,794 Plus, I think she's into me. 180 00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:06,703 - Okay. - I just wanted to be upfront. 181 00:10:06,739 --> 00:10:10,004 Just wanted to make sure you were cool with what I have to do. 182 00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:14,479 I'm planning to seduce this woman 183 00:10:14,513 --> 00:10:17,778 so that I can get the Devil's secrets out of her. 184 00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:20,650 Secrets that I think will help me beat the Devil once and for all. 185 00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:23,086 I get it. No, do what you got to do. 186 00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,647 You're not bothered? 187 00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:27,625 Well, yeah, you know, 188 00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:29,753 it's difficult to feel threatened 189 00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:32,093 when you're not really a seducer. 190 00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:34,190 Well... 191 00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:36,997 I seduced you. 192 00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:39,368 You mean you followed me around for seven years like a puppy 193 00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:42,238 and then wore me down with your subtle charms. 194 00:10:42,274 --> 00:10:44,071 That's not really called seduction. 195 00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:46,670 It's called erosion. 196 00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:51,015 Here. 197 00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:53,678 Maybe this'll help speed things up. 198 00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:57,649 You understand I'm in a war with the Devil? 199 00:10:57,690 --> 00:11:00,022 I know. 200 00:11:11,203 --> 00:11:12,534 Delivery from Bargain Bench. 201 00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:18,104 You just entered a world of pain, my friend. 202 00:11:18,144 --> 00:11:20,408 Work Bench blue around here only. 203 00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:23,040 That apron makes you look like a Swedish hausfrau. 204 00:11:23,082 --> 00:11:25,550 I don't even know what that is. Boom. 205 00:11:25,584 --> 00:11:27,711 So nobody ordered this computer equipment? 206 00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:29,482 There's no John Oliver here? 207 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:32,980 John Oliver? That's my dad. 208 00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:34,993 This is fantastic. 209 00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:37,052 I can't believe they delivered everything so quickly. 210 00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:38,927 Yeah, what are you gonna do with all this crap? 211 00:11:38,964 --> 00:11:40,989 I'm kind of going stir-crazy in this garage 212 00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:43,968 and I can't go out in the world, for obvious reasons. 213 00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:47,461 So I am going to bring the world to me. 214 00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:50,907 I'm gonna go to chat rooms and blogs, Facebook. 215 00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:53,309 With the help of this computer 216 00:11:53,345 --> 00:11:55,506 I am gonna have a life again, Sam. 217 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:58,608 A rich full life right here in your garage. 218 00:11:58,651 --> 00:12:00,084 Cool, Dad. Cool. 219 00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:01,984 You go forth and ride, Mr. O. 220 00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:05,650 You ride that internet, you weird glorious bastard. 221 00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:14,465 Where are the fries? 222 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:17,162 I didn't order fries. I got us carrot dippers. 223 00:12:17,203 --> 00:12:18,431 I asked for fries, Ben. 224 00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,666 - I know. - And? 225 00:12:20,706 --> 00:12:23,436 I decided you need to take a break from fried foods. 226 00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:25,637 What? No! Never. Why? 227 00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:27,737 I tell you this as a friend, Sock. 228 00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:30,544 You have oily hair and people are noticing. 229 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,414 L... what? 230 00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:35,420 This... this... this is hair gel, Ben. 231 00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,979 This is expensive Persian hair gel. 232 00:12:38,023 --> 00:12:41,424 And the beard? You mean to tell me that sheen comes from a bottle? 233 00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:43,052 What sheen? What the heck is a sheen? 234 00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:45,029 Whoa, what did you hit? 235 00:12:45,064 --> 00:12:46,759 I didn't hit anything. Something hit us. 236 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,095 Holy crap, Nina. 237 00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:52,127 All right, Benjamin. Remember what I told you. What do you got to do? 238 00:12:52,171 --> 00:12:54,537 - I-I-I need to ignore her. - That's right. 239 00:12:57,309 --> 00:12:59,800 - I see nothing. - That's right, she's not there. 240 00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:01,904 Just look right through her. Just ignore her. 241 00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:05,476 Okay. 242 00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:07,884 That doesn't even scare me. 243 00:13:17,696 --> 00:13:19,823 What say we listen to a couple tasty tunes? 244 00:13:19,865 --> 00:13:21,196 Sounds great. I love music. 245 00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:22,564 Me too. 246 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:29,873 My mom made me a mix tape. 247 00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:32,139 Ah. 248 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:37,680 Jammin' 249 00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:40,651 - Right? Uh-huh. - Oh, we're jammin' 250 00:13:49,528 --> 00:13:51,860 - Think it's over? - Oh, it's over, Benji. 251 00:13:51,897 --> 00:13:54,388 Oh, we bucked the angry right out of that beast. 252 00:13:54,433 --> 00:13:56,492 - Whoo! - Yeah! 253 00:13:56,535 --> 00:13:58,435 I'm pretty sure I have glass in my eye. 254 00:13:58,470 --> 00:14:00,199 Nobody likes a crybaby, Benji. 255 00:14:00,239 --> 00:14:02,434 Suck it up. 256 00:14:13,385 --> 00:14:16,980 Oh, black on black... sexy. 257 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:19,149 What do you want? 258 00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:21,853 I just wanted to find out how your first day of school went. 259 00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:23,794 - It was fine. - I see. 260 00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:27,265 And how was Sally looking? Still as beautiful as ever? 261 00:14:27,299 --> 00:14:28,789 I don't know. I didn't notice. 262 00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:32,065 - Did she ask about me? - Not really. 263 00:14:32,104 --> 00:14:34,095 Seriously? Nothing at all? 264 00:14:34,139 --> 00:14:36,232 From what I gather, she's not a fan. 265 00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:38,573 Was there any contempt in her voice? 266 00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:41,171 - Sure, yeah. A bit. - Ha ha, fantastic. 267 00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:43,613 - You're happy about that? - Sure. 268 00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:45,947 Don't you know what that means? I'm under her skin. 269 00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:48,647 Now's the perfect time to strike. 270 00:14:48,687 --> 00:14:51,053 I want you to give this to Sally. 271 00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:52,717 A vegetable steamer? 272 00:14:52,758 --> 00:14:55,249 Yeah, I happen to know she wants that more than anything else. 273 00:14:55,294 --> 00:14:56,591 See? 274 00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:58,927 She dog-eared the page in a catalogue. 275 00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:02,127 - Where did you get this? - I dug it up out of her trash. 276 00:15:02,167 --> 00:15:04,692 - You are a stalker. - No. 277 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,729 No, Sammy. I'm a fool for love. 278 00:15:07,773 --> 00:15:10,207 Why do you need me? Why don't you just give her the present yourself? 279 00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:11,937 You mind if I open up to you a little bit, 280 00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:14,377 imperfect father to well-dressed son? 281 00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:16,438 I have difficulty 282 00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:18,575 maintaining relationships with women. 283 00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:21,177 Mostly because... 284 00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:23,154 I mistreat them. 285 00:15:23,188 --> 00:15:26,123 I lead them on. I bag 'em, tag 'em, kick 'em down the stairs. 286 00:15:26,158 --> 00:15:29,252 And I blame it on my deep commitment to self-love. 287 00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:31,160 It's my Achilles' 288 00:15:31,196 --> 00:15:34,097 Anyway, I appreciate your help. 289 00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:35,623 You're my Cyrano. 290 00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:39,434 Now you get out there and you reel her in for me. 291 00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:44,670 Hey, you may want to run. I neglected to pay for that. 292 00:15:57,523 --> 00:15:59,855 Sally? Hello? 293 00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:02,258 I'm in here. 294 00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:05,994 You're very prompt. 295 00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:08,022 What's that? 296 00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:11,468 Oh, it's a gift for you. 297 00:16:11,503 --> 00:16:13,437 I got you a gift. 298 00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:15,167 From me. 299 00:16:17,743 --> 00:16:19,574 Oh my God. 300 00:16:19,611 --> 00:16:22,842 How did you know I've been lusting after a steamer? 301 00:16:22,881 --> 00:16:24,781 Well... 302 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:27,081 I remembered you were on a cleanse. 303 00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:30,179 So I assumed you were into healthy foods. 304 00:16:30,222 --> 00:16:33,055 Naturally the mind jumps to steamed spinach. 305 00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:35,083 How sweet. 306 00:16:35,127 --> 00:16:37,357 Thank you. 307 00:16:37,396 --> 00:16:39,557 I love it. 308 00:16:43,469 --> 00:16:45,266 Right. 309 00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:48,767 I like your skirt. 310 00:16:48,807 --> 00:16:51,002 It really shows off your figure. 311 00:16:51,043 --> 00:16:53,637 - Thank you. - Yes. 312 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,909 And your hair, it's especially nice today. 313 00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:58,849 Very... very bouncy. 314 00:16:58,884 --> 00:17:02,183 - Sam, what are you doing? - What do you mean? 315 00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:03,916 Well, the gift, 316 00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:06,220 the flattery... 317 00:17:06,258 --> 00:17:08,089 are you hitting on me? 318 00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:09,458 What? No. 319 00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:13,356 But now that you've planted the thought, 320 00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:15,492 which is a great great thought, 321 00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:17,229 how about it? 322 00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:19,237 Will you let me take you to dinner? 323 00:17:19,271 --> 00:17:22,968 My, you are surprisingly aggressive. 324 00:17:23,008 --> 00:17:26,774 Well, I'm the kind of guy who likes to move fast 325 00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:29,542 when I see something I want. 326 00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:35,016 I mean, someone I want, not something... 327 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,852 which could be misinterpreted that I see you as a piece of meat. 328 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,757 Which as a woman and an equal 329 00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:43,887 in every way, if not superior, 330 00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:46,227 it's common knowledge that women are better pilots, gymnasts... 331 00:17:46,265 --> 00:17:48,631 the point being, you most likely don't 332 00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:51,693 appreciate being compared to meat. 333 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:53,261 - Sam. - Yes? 334 00:17:53,305 --> 00:17:54,863 It's not uncommon 335 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:58,308 for a student to get a crush on their teacher. 336 00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:03,005 Um... 337 00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:07,984 what I'm feeling right now is no schoolboy crush. 338 00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:12,087 I'm fascinated by you. 339 00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:14,820 And I know you're intelligent. 340 00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:17,328 What I need to know, what I don't know, 341 00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:20,229 is if you could ever take me seriously. 342 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,934 Of course I can. 343 00:18:25,971 --> 00:18:28,132 Great. Then it's a date. 344 00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:31,802 But we must keep it a secret from the Devil. 345 00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:33,937 Think about it, 346 00:18:33,979 --> 00:18:36,539 his favorite teacher fraternizing with his favorite son. 347 00:18:36,582 --> 00:18:39,142 I mean, he could come unhinged. 348 00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:42,517 I once witnessed him just cut a man in half for giving me a foot rub. 349 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,851 Yeah, I'm cool going the secret route. 350 00:18:57,503 --> 00:18:59,164 I'm on pins and needles, Sammy. 351 00:18:59,204 --> 00:19:00,728 Tell me, did she love the gift? 352 00:19:00,772 --> 00:19:02,330 Did she? 353 00:19:02,374 --> 00:19:03,773 Yes. Yes, she did. 354 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:06,334 You're not lying to me now just to protect my feelings? 355 00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:08,278 No, she really loved it. 356 00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:10,281 Oh yes! 357 00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:12,442 A breakthrough. Finally. 358 00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:14,315 And I owe it all to you, kiddo. 359 00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:17,151 No no, really, you don't have to thank me. Seriously, I didn't... 360 00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:19,714 - Now this is my phone number, okay? - Yeah. 361 00:19:19,758 --> 00:19:22,454 You give it to Sally and tell her I'm waiting for her call. 362 00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,155 No, don't tell her I'm waiting. 363 00:19:24,196 --> 00:19:26,926 That sounds desperate. Tell her I'm expecting her call. 364 00:19:26,965 --> 00:19:29,593 I don't get it. Why don't you just call her yourself? 365 00:19:29,635 --> 00:19:31,535 I'm the Devil. 366 00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:34,334 I don't chase tail, Sam. Tail chases me. 367 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,842 I called you in because I keep getting complaints 368 00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:45,713 of you two fighting in gardening. 369 00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:47,844 We weren't fighting. He attacked me. 370 00:19:47,886 --> 00:19:49,444 - Bullpucky. - It's true. 371 00:19:49,488 --> 00:19:51,820 I was trying to educate Mr. Chandra... 372 00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:53,222 Chandrasekaran. 373 00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:55,818 - On the obvious difference between season mulch 374 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:58,694 and redwood bark chips when he came at me with an edge trimmer. 375 00:19:58,730 --> 00:20:00,220 - You had it coming. - Aw. 376 00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:03,200 This dick's always up in my grill. 377 00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:05,260 - Hey, you wanted to see me? - Yes. 378 00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:08,102 - Yes, just one second. - Yeah. 379 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,631 Okay, you know what? You two need to start a dialogue 380 00:20:10,676 --> 00:20:12,735 about mutual respect. 381 00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:14,336 I want this resolved before I get back. 382 00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:18,205 What's up? 383 00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:20,514 I just wanted to see how your war with the Devil was going. 384 00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:22,884 It's, uh... it's moving ahead. 385 00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:24,354 I have a date with my teacher tonight. 386 00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,721 Wow. That was fast. 387 00:20:26,758 --> 00:20:29,226 Just took your advice, jumping in with both feet. 388 00:20:29,261 --> 00:20:32,287 That's... that's great. 389 00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:36,494 Um, can you... 390 00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:41,462 Listen, I'm... I'm really jealous. 391 00:20:41,506 --> 00:20:43,201 - What? - Yeah. 392 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,107 I'm really jealous of this woman. 393 00:20:45,143 --> 00:20:47,611 And I'm jealous that you might go out with her. 394 00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:49,841 And I'm jealous that something might actually happen between you two. 395 00:20:49,881 --> 00:20:51,781 Okay. 396 00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:53,250 And I know I can't even say anything 397 00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:55,480 because I'm the one that put us on hold. 398 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,114 Do you want me to cancel this date? 399 00:20:58,156 --> 00:21:00,147 Yes. 400 00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:02,558 But I know you can't. 401 00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:04,824 And I can't ask you to. 402 00:21:04,863 --> 00:21:07,229 - Andi, I'll... - No, don't even say anything. 403 00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,826 It's okay. I get it. 404 00:21:09,868 --> 00:21:11,130 I do. 405 00:21:11,169 --> 00:21:13,160 Die, bastard. I will cut you. 406 00:21:15,307 --> 00:21:18,140 Okay, I should probably get back to my meeting. 407 00:21:20,178 --> 00:21:22,806 Oh, God! Help! 408 00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:27,377 - Oh, you got another IM from Sam's dad. - Again? 409 00:21:27,419 --> 00:21:30,320 It says: Why haven't you signed up for his fantasy hockey league? 410 00:21:30,355 --> 00:21:31,879 You know what? Why don't you tell him 411 00:21:31,923 --> 00:21:34,118 I only have time to service one fantasy... 412 00:21:34,159 --> 00:21:36,286 - his wife. - I'm gonna let you tell him that. 413 00:21:36,328 --> 00:21:38,387 - Hi, Ben. - Get in the training room. 414 00:21:38,430 --> 00:21:39,795 Move move move. 415 00:21:40,999 --> 00:21:42,364 I want to talk to Ben. 416 00:21:42,401 --> 00:21:44,835 Well, you don't get to talk to Ben. He's fragile. 417 00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:47,202 You want to send him a message, it goes through me. 418 00:21:47,239 --> 00:21:50,106 Get! Get! 419 00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:53,669 Okay. Well, I just wanted to say that 420 00:21:53,712 --> 00:21:57,239 I feel terrible about the way that I've been acting. 421 00:21:57,282 --> 00:21:59,273 You mean like a girl who eats cars? 422 00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:02,685 Okay, I'm not gonna try to make any excuses here, 423 00:22:02,721 --> 00:22:04,655 but it's not like I used no self-control. 424 00:22:04,690 --> 00:22:07,022 I mean, your head didn't end up on a pike, right? 425 00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:09,687 If that's all. 426 00:22:09,728 --> 00:22:11,286 Thank you. 427 00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:13,798 Look, I'm just trying to apologize here. 428 00:22:13,832 --> 00:22:16,300 - Do you have to be so rude? - OMG. 429 00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:19,168 Maybe you didn't hear it the first time or the 10th time. 430 00:22:19,204 --> 00:22:22,901 You and Ben are over. Look at me when I'm talking to you! 431 00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:24,169 Ben! 432 00:22:24,209 --> 00:22:26,200 I want to talk directly to Ben. 433 00:22:26,244 --> 00:22:29,077 That's not gonna happen. Sorry. 434 00:22:30,315 --> 00:22:32,977 Are you standing in the way of our relationship? 435 00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:36,579 No, I'm standing in the way of your craziness. 436 00:22:53,538 --> 00:22:56,598 So he grounded his plane in Vegas? 437 00:22:56,641 --> 00:22:58,632 Yup. 438 00:22:58,677 --> 00:23:01,339 And Alan's secrets went back to hell with him. 439 00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:03,348 Wow, that is brilliant. 440 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:06,180 You are up against an evil genius. 441 00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:08,448 Yeah. 442 00:23:08,487 --> 00:23:11,251 If you keep filling my glass with more wine, 443 00:23:11,289 --> 00:23:13,257 I might start blabbing 444 00:23:13,291 --> 00:23:14,952 some Devil secrets of my own. 445 00:23:14,993 --> 00:23:17,655 God knows I'm sitting on some doozies. 446 00:23:20,832 --> 00:23:23,767 Oh, I'm having such a wonderful time, Sam. 447 00:23:23,802 --> 00:23:26,362 It's been such a long time since I've been out on a date. 448 00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:27,702 Really? 449 00:23:27,739 --> 00:23:30,435 What about you, Sam? 450 00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:35,277 Is there anyone special in your life? 451 00:23:35,313 --> 00:23:36,780 No. 452 00:23:36,815 --> 00:23:38,476 No, nobody in my life. 453 00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:50,021 What? 454 00:23:50,061 --> 00:23:52,427 I lied. 455 00:23:52,464 --> 00:23:54,932 There is somebody. 456 00:23:54,966 --> 00:23:56,900 Her name is Andi. 457 00:23:56,935 --> 00:23:59,460 Oh. 458 00:23:59,504 --> 00:24:01,699 - Yeah. - Oh. 459 00:24:01,740 --> 00:24:04,334 If you've got a girlfriend, what are you doing here with me then? 460 00:24:04,376 --> 00:24:06,844 Because we can't be together. 461 00:24:06,878 --> 00:24:09,005 It's really complicated. I'm sorry. 462 00:24:09,047 --> 00:24:12,073 I'm sorry for misleading you. 463 00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:14,312 Don't be. 464 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:18,756 I admire your honesty, Sam. 465 00:24:20,258 --> 00:24:22,453 So here we are at a crossroads. 466 00:24:22,494 --> 00:24:25,657 Do we call it a night or do we... 467 00:24:25,697 --> 00:24:28,495 press ahead and see where things lead? 468 00:24:30,335 --> 00:24:32,166 How's that song go? 469 00:24:32,204 --> 00:24:34,764 "If you can't be with your true love..." 470 00:24:34,806 --> 00:24:37,104 No. 471 00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:39,667 The lyric is " If you can't be with the one you love, 472 00:24:39,711 --> 00:24:41,975 honey, love the one you're with." 473 00:24:42,013 --> 00:24:43,480 I should know, I wrote it. 474 00:24:43,515 --> 00:24:45,813 Or at least I provided the weed 475 00:24:45,851 --> 00:24:47,842 that provided the tryst that provided the inspiration. 476 00:24:47,886 --> 00:24:49,080 This isn't what it looks like. 477 00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:51,213 I'm not talking to you. 478 00:24:51,256 --> 00:24:53,850 And you, you're a teacher. 479 00:24:53,892 --> 00:24:56,588 He's your student, for goodness' sake. 480 00:24:56,628 --> 00:24:59,256 Does your perverted libido know no limits? 481 00:24:59,297 --> 00:25:01,197 Right, you're insane. 482 00:25:01,233 --> 00:25:03,292 You're actually insane. 483 00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:06,862 And I don't ever want to be with you ever! 484 00:25:09,741 --> 00:25:12,335 I'll deal with you later. 485 00:25:27,292 --> 00:25:30,056 Oh, there you are. 486 00:25:30,095 --> 00:25:31,562 Hi, Sock. 487 00:25:35,267 --> 00:25:37,633 Ben's not here. 488 00:25:37,669 --> 00:25:39,933 Ben's working a midnight shift. 489 00:25:39,971 --> 00:25:43,372 So I would thank you to haul your stalky ass out of here. 490 00:25:43,408 --> 00:25:45,842 I don't want to talk to Ben. I want to talk to you. 491 00:25:45,877 --> 00:25:48,471 Well, I don't want to talk to you, 492 00:25:48,513 --> 00:25:50,242 so come on. 493 00:25:50,282 --> 00:25:52,409 Slip it out. Slip it quick. 494 00:25:55,487 --> 00:25:57,955 Would you drop this at the curb? Thank you. 495 00:25:59,591 --> 00:26:01,821 There may be some recyclables in there, so would you be a doll 496 00:26:01,860 --> 00:26:03,828 and separate the plastics? Good times. 497 00:26:03,862 --> 00:26:05,591 Later. 498 00:26:13,939 --> 00:26:16,703 Yeah, that's a good little trick. 499 00:26:16,741 --> 00:26:19,175 Really spooky. I'm so scared. 500 00:26:19,210 --> 00:26:20,768 Too bad it's pointless. 501 00:26:20,812 --> 00:26:22,973 Stand there staring at me all night. 502 00:26:23,014 --> 00:26:25,881 Turn into a big acid drooling monster, I don't care. 503 00:26:25,917 --> 00:26:29,148 'Cause quality sleep, little lady, comes first. 504 00:26:29,187 --> 00:26:31,951 12 hours a night, five hours a day. 505 00:26:31,990 --> 00:26:34,254 Sock, I'm not here to scare you. 506 00:26:34,292 --> 00:26:35,589 Oh, really? 507 00:26:35,627 --> 00:26:37,788 I need to see Ben, Sock. 508 00:26:37,829 --> 00:26:39,626 I need to see him 509 00:26:39,664 --> 00:26:41,928 and I need to tell him how sorry I am. 510 00:26:41,967 --> 00:26:44,299 And, well, frankly you're just... 511 00:26:44,336 --> 00:26:46,031 you're standing in the way of that. 512 00:26:47,472 --> 00:26:50,669 I would do, I don't know, 513 00:26:50,709 --> 00:26:54,270 anything to have Ben back. 514 00:26:54,312 --> 00:26:56,280 Ha ha, yeah. 515 00:27:03,755 --> 00:27:05,347 Oh! 516 00:27:05,390 --> 00:27:07,654 The question is, 517 00:27:07,692 --> 00:27:10,525 what would you not do 518 00:27:10,562 --> 00:27:12,359 to protect him? 519 00:27:12,397 --> 00:27:15,127 Okay, whoa whoa. 520 00:27:15,166 --> 00:27:16,895 Okay, let me just clear this up. 521 00:27:16,935 --> 00:27:20,393 You're thinking that you can demon-bang your way through me to get to Ben? 522 00:27:20,438 --> 00:27:23,703 Well, I thought about bringing a friend, 523 00:27:23,742 --> 00:27:27,371 but I wasn't really sure if you like girls or guys. 524 00:27:27,412 --> 00:27:28,606 What? What? I like girls. 525 00:27:28,647 --> 00:27:30,478 What are you talking about? Get out of here. 526 00:27:30,515 --> 00:27:32,312 Okay, well, I just thought... 527 00:27:32,350 --> 00:27:33,840 You just thought? You just thought what? 528 00:27:33,885 --> 00:27:35,876 You're weirdly close with Ben. 529 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,753 No, not weirdly close, all right? 530 00:27:38,790 --> 00:27:40,348 Awesomely committed, how about that? 531 00:27:40,392 --> 00:27:42,519 There's a big difference. 532 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,188 So you can just forget about trying to seduce this guy. 533 00:27:45,230 --> 00:27:47,630 If I feel the urge to trade my dignity 534 00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:50,897 for a little drowsy nasty, I listen to Jewel. 535 00:27:50,935 --> 00:27:53,062 Or I hit the porn drawer. 536 00:27:54,706 --> 00:27:59,507 So there's absolutely nothing 537 00:27:59,544 --> 00:28:01,535 I could do to change your mind? 538 00:28:01,579 --> 00:28:03,376 Mmmm, no. 539 00:28:03,415 --> 00:28:05,007 Not that I can think of. Sorry. 540 00:28:06,851 --> 00:28:09,718 Oh, well, then you leave me no choice. 541 00:28:14,092 --> 00:28:15,821 Is that mine? 542 00:28:28,006 --> 00:28:29,997 Ben. 543 00:28:32,210 --> 00:28:34,940 Yo, Sam, you want to toss me one of those spray nozzles? 544 00:28:34,979 --> 00:28:37,004 - Quick quick. - What are you doing? 545 00:28:37,048 --> 00:28:39,209 I'm building a flamethrower. 546 00:28:39,250 --> 00:28:40,649 You mind if I ask why? 547 00:28:40,685 --> 00:28:43,017 I'm burning down Nina's lair. Gonna drive her out of town. 548 00:28:43,054 --> 00:28:46,251 Also would you toss me one of those 3/8 couplets right there? 549 00:28:46,291 --> 00:28:48,316 Sock, doesn't that sound a little severe? 550 00:28:48,359 --> 00:28:49,485 I mean, even by your standards? 551 00:28:49,527 --> 00:28:51,017 She crossed the line, Sam. 552 00:28:51,062 --> 00:28:54,054 She did that demon trick. She invaded my dream world. 553 00:28:54,099 --> 00:28:56,033 This is my safe place. 554 00:28:56,067 --> 00:28:58,331 No one penetrates my safe place. 555 00:28:59,671 --> 00:29:01,229 Hey, Sock, have you seen Andi around? 556 00:29:01,272 --> 00:29:02,500 I heard she called in sick. 557 00:29:06,678 --> 00:29:08,202 Andi, hey. 558 00:29:08,246 --> 00:29:11,340 I heard you were out sick. I hope it's not because of me. 559 00:29:13,318 --> 00:29:14,945 Hey, kiddo. 560 00:29:16,387 --> 00:29:17,877 Gloomy sky today. 561 00:29:19,124 --> 00:29:21,217 Fits my mood. 562 00:29:23,561 --> 00:29:24,789 What are we doing here? 563 00:29:24,829 --> 00:29:27,195 Good question. What the hell are we doing here? 564 00:29:27,232 --> 00:29:29,530 Two love-struck idiots 565 00:29:29,567 --> 00:29:33,162 caught under the spell of the same witchy woman. 566 00:29:33,204 --> 00:29:35,900 So you're not mad at me? 567 00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:37,567 No. 568 00:29:37,609 --> 00:29:39,304 How could I be? 569 00:29:39,344 --> 00:29:42,211 I mean, what man can resist Sally? 570 00:29:44,916 --> 00:29:46,645 Here. 571 00:29:46,684 --> 00:29:48,618 - A vessel? - Yes. 572 00:29:48,653 --> 00:29:50,814 It's for Sally. 573 00:29:50,855 --> 00:29:52,345 She's an escaped soul? 574 00:29:52,390 --> 00:29:55,223 No, I let her out of hell, Sam. 575 00:29:55,260 --> 00:29:58,457 I set her up in this house, got her a good job, 576 00:29:58,496 --> 00:30:01,363 showered her with affection and still... 577 00:30:05,103 --> 00:30:07,230 It's a matter of honor, Sammy. 578 00:30:07,272 --> 00:30:09,433 Honor. 579 00:30:47,412 --> 00:30:49,812 Sam. 580 00:30:49,848 --> 00:30:53,011 I was convinced I'd seen the last of you. 581 00:30:53,051 --> 00:30:54,951 Yeah, I was thinking we could talk. 582 00:30:54,986 --> 00:30:56,851 Yes, about last night... I'm so sorry. 583 00:30:56,888 --> 00:30:59,413 What a disaster. I should have known better 584 00:30:59,457 --> 00:31:01,618 than to try and sneak around on the Devil. 585 00:31:01,659 --> 00:31:03,627 I'm not here about last night. 586 00:31:03,661 --> 00:31:05,458 No? 587 00:31:05,496 --> 00:31:07,896 The Devil sent me 588 00:31:07,932 --> 00:31:09,365 to vessel you, 589 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:11,265 to send you back to hell. 590 00:31:11,302 --> 00:31:13,202 Oh. 591 00:31:13,238 --> 00:31:16,139 I'm sorry it's come to this, Sam. 592 00:31:19,110 --> 00:31:20,805 I really like you. 593 00:31:22,780 --> 00:31:24,338 I like you too. 594 00:31:24,382 --> 00:31:25,815 Yes, and I thought we made 595 00:31:25,850 --> 00:31:28,444 a real connection at dinner last night. 596 00:31:28,486 --> 00:31:30,454 If the Devil hadn't interrupted 597 00:31:30,488 --> 00:31:32,956 we most certainly would have ended up in bed together. 598 00:31:34,859 --> 00:31:38,818 Is that something that still interests you? 599 00:31:38,863 --> 00:31:41,024 Your being with me? 600 00:31:41,065 --> 00:31:44,398 I have a better plan to keep you out of hell. 601 00:31:44,435 --> 00:31:46,801 - You do? - Tell the Devil the truth: 602 00:31:46,838 --> 00:31:50,399 This was all my doing; That you're innocent; 603 00:31:50,441 --> 00:31:52,306 I was trying to seduce you; 604 00:31:52,343 --> 00:31:54,971 Also that I lied and took credit for his gift. 605 00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:57,638 What, the steamer was from the Devil? 606 00:31:57,682 --> 00:31:59,980 Yeah. 607 00:32:00,018 --> 00:32:01,952 Oh. 608 00:32:01,986 --> 00:32:04,978 I'm sorry, Sam. I don't quite understand. 609 00:32:05,023 --> 00:32:06,957 I mean, why the gun? 610 00:32:06,991 --> 00:32:09,926 Why don't you just tell the Devil the truth? 611 00:32:09,961 --> 00:32:12,327 I mean, why all this drama? 612 00:32:12,363 --> 00:32:13,830 Because you still have something I want... 613 00:32:13,865 --> 00:32:16,129 something you can trade for your freedom. 614 00:32:16,167 --> 00:32:18,635 The Devil's secrets. Secrets that I need. 615 00:32:18,670 --> 00:32:20,638 Oh. 616 00:32:20,672 --> 00:32:23,334 Are you blackmailing me? 617 00:32:23,374 --> 00:32:24,807 Think of it as a trade. 618 00:32:24,842 --> 00:32:28,141 Share what I need to know and you'll stay out of hell. 619 00:32:28,179 --> 00:32:30,477 And I'll get out from under the Devil. It's a win-win. 620 00:32:30,515 --> 00:32:33,143 You're expecting me 621 00:32:33,184 --> 00:32:34,708 to betray the Devil? 622 00:32:34,752 --> 00:32:36,549 Well, yeah. 623 00:32:36,587 --> 00:32:38,452 I can't do that. 624 00:32:38,489 --> 00:32:41,458 You can't? I thought you hated the Devil. 625 00:32:41,492 --> 00:32:43,858 Oh, I do. Sometimes. 626 00:32:43,895 --> 00:32:46,523 Other times I find him quite... 627 00:32:46,564 --> 00:32:48,657 charming. 628 00:32:48,700 --> 00:32:50,497 I mean, he is the Devil, 629 00:32:50,535 --> 00:32:52,696 the second most powerful being in all of existence. 630 00:32:52,737 --> 00:32:55,433 Now I've never experienced the high 631 00:32:55,473 --> 00:32:57,373 that people say they get from knowing the love of God 632 00:32:57,408 --> 00:32:59,273 so I can't really compare, 633 00:32:59,310 --> 00:33:02,575 but I certainly know the rush 634 00:33:02,613 --> 00:33:05,582 that comes with being pursued 635 00:33:05,616 --> 00:33:08,210 by the Dark Lord. 636 00:33:12,423 --> 00:33:13,754 No. 637 00:33:25,636 --> 00:33:27,763 This doesn't have to happen, Sally. 638 00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:31,338 We can still strike a deal. 639 00:33:55,199 --> 00:33:56,928 Well, this is a first. 640 00:33:56,968 --> 00:33:58,697 So are you ready to talk trade? 641 00:34:04,575 --> 00:34:06,406 Put down that gun, Sammy. 642 00:34:06,444 --> 00:34:07,638 What are you doing? 643 00:34:14,118 --> 00:34:15,847 Ahh! 644 00:34:20,391 --> 00:34:23,792 How about that entrance? Snazzy, huh? 645 00:34:23,828 --> 00:34:26,524 God, what are you grinning about? He could have killed me. 646 00:34:26,564 --> 00:34:28,930 Oh, is that the kind of welcome that I get? 647 00:34:28,966 --> 00:34:31,457 Come on, who's your hero? 648 00:34:31,502 --> 00:34:32,799 You are an ass. 649 00:34:32,837 --> 00:34:34,964 I am the Dark Lord of asses. 650 00:34:35,006 --> 00:34:38,305 I heard your confession, Sally darling. 651 00:34:39,444 --> 00:34:41,742 After all these centuries I finally know 652 00:34:41,779 --> 00:34:44,270 you're into me. 653 00:34:44,315 --> 00:34:45,942 So let's cut to the chase. 654 00:34:45,983 --> 00:34:47,814 I didn't come here to try to earn your love and respect. 655 00:34:47,852 --> 00:34:50,320 I came here to earn a trip upstairs. 656 00:34:50,354 --> 00:34:52,345 Well, you make no mistake. 657 00:34:52,390 --> 00:34:55,120 If it were not for that very thoughtful vegetable steamer, 658 00:34:55,159 --> 00:34:58,492 you would not be getting lucky today. Come on. 659 00:35:17,014 --> 00:35:18,879 I don't feel right about this. 660 00:35:18,916 --> 00:35:20,816 Maybe I should call Nina 661 00:35:20,852 --> 00:35:22,786 and talk things out over coffee. 662 00:35:22,820 --> 00:35:24,879 Huh-uh, too late for coffee, Benji. 663 00:35:24,922 --> 00:35:27,584 I might be able to get her in couples' counseling, work through the issues. 664 00:35:27,625 --> 00:35:29,252 What issues? There are no issues. 665 00:35:29,293 --> 00:35:31,557 You two are over, all right? You missed a spot right there. 666 00:35:31,596 --> 00:35:33,564 Ben. 667 00:35:33,598 --> 00:35:36,032 What are you doing, Ben? 668 00:35:36,067 --> 00:35:38,831 We're setting your house on fire. 669 00:35:38,870 --> 00:35:40,201 Whoo! 670 00:35:40,238 --> 00:35:41,637 Oh. 671 00:35:43,241 --> 00:35:46,369 Why does it always come to this? 672 00:35:46,410 --> 00:35:48,037 Why, does this happen a lot? 673 00:35:48,079 --> 00:35:51,344 Yes. I have lost track 674 00:35:51,382 --> 00:35:55,216 of how many times angry villagers have chased me with lit torches. 675 00:35:55,253 --> 00:35:57,084 This is a flamethrower. 676 00:35:57,121 --> 00:36:00,488 I guess that's just to be expected when the world sees you as a monster. 677 00:36:00,525 --> 00:36:02,220 I don't see you as a monster. 678 00:36:02,260 --> 00:36:04,524 - What? - You don't? 679 00:36:04,562 --> 00:36:05,893 No. 680 00:36:05,930 --> 00:36:07,955 What about all that 681 00:36:07,999 --> 00:36:09,899 tormenting stuff that I did? 682 00:36:09,934 --> 00:36:11,458 And what about what I did to your car? 683 00:36:11,502 --> 00:36:13,129 I had it coming. 684 00:36:13,171 --> 00:36:15,799 I should have never put my grandmother's needs over yours. 685 00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:19,037 I mean, she just held the keys to my inheritance. 686 00:36:19,076 --> 00:36:21,567 You were my girl. I made the wrong choice. 687 00:36:21,612 --> 00:36:23,876 Yes. Yes, you did. 688 00:36:25,983 --> 00:36:29,111 And the truth is that I missed you. 689 00:36:32,356 --> 00:36:34,017 I missed you too. 690 00:36:35,459 --> 00:36:37,654 - Sock. - What? 691 00:36:37,695 --> 00:36:40,220 - Buddy. - What!? 692 00:36:40,264 --> 00:36:42,459 I think me and Nina are getting back together. 693 00:36:44,202 --> 00:36:46,932 I know how super important 694 00:36:46,971 --> 00:36:48,666 your quality sleep is to you, 695 00:36:48,706 --> 00:36:52,267 but you think you can get past what Nina did? 696 00:36:52,310 --> 00:36:55,575 For me? 697 00:36:55,613 --> 00:36:58,878 You could melt an iceberg with those deep browns of yours, buddy. 698 00:36:58,916 --> 00:37:01,146 I know. Bring it in. 699 00:37:01,185 --> 00:37:03,653 All right. 700 00:37:05,189 --> 00:37:07,453 Oh! Okay. 701 00:37:07,491 --> 00:37:10,187 Get the tank. No, get the tank. The tank! 702 00:37:10,228 --> 00:37:11,786 Okay, go. 703 00:37:11,829 --> 00:37:13,319 Get the... 704 00:37:21,572 --> 00:37:23,267 That could've gone better. 705 00:37:23,307 --> 00:37:25,673 - Whoa! - Oh! 706 00:37:25,710 --> 00:37:28,508 Get going. Get going. 707 00:37:33,384 --> 00:37:36,547 Want me to talk to Sock, get him to join your fantasy hockey league? 708 00:37:37,855 --> 00:37:39,914 I'd rather you didn't. 709 00:37:39,957 --> 00:37:42,585 I hate fantasy hockey, Sam. 710 00:37:42,627 --> 00:37:44,754 - What? - I hate the internet. 711 00:37:44,795 --> 00:37:47,559 I hate trolling dating sites for women I can never meet. 712 00:37:47,598 --> 00:37:50,726 I hate posting a daily blog that's only ever gotten eight hits. 713 00:37:52,069 --> 00:37:53,593 I hate my life. 714 00:37:53,638 --> 00:37:55,663 I'm sorry, Dad. 715 00:37:55,706 --> 00:37:58,937 Don't be, Sam. Because I've been thinking, 716 00:37:58,976 --> 00:38:01,206 and I think I know of a way you can help me. 717 00:38:01,245 --> 00:38:03,145 Anything. 718 00:38:04,749 --> 00:38:06,478 Send me to hell. 719 00:38:06,517 --> 00:38:08,781 - What? - Send me to hell. 720 00:38:08,819 --> 00:38:11,049 Let me go look for Alan Townsend for you. 721 00:38:11,088 --> 00:38:12,953 Let me help you get out of your deal. 722 00:38:12,990 --> 00:38:16,050 Dad, I can't do that. 723 00:38:16,093 --> 00:38:17,754 Look at me, Sam. 724 00:38:22,033 --> 00:38:24,831 I should have died but I can't die. 725 00:38:24,869 --> 00:38:27,360 I can't live either. 726 00:38:27,405 --> 00:38:29,032 Not like this. 727 00:38:29,073 --> 00:38:32,236 There are answers in hell, Sam, 728 00:38:32,276 --> 00:38:34,744 answers to fix both our problems. 729 00:38:36,414 --> 00:38:37,972 Look... 730 00:38:41,152 --> 00:38:43,279 I was your father once. 731 00:38:43,321 --> 00:38:46,051 Let me be that again. 732 00:38:46,090 --> 00:38:49,082 Please. 733 00:38:49,126 --> 00:38:50,923 Let me help. 734 00:39:15,686 --> 00:39:17,586 Ahem. 735 00:39:17,621 --> 00:39:19,350 - What's this? - It's a cell phone. 736 00:39:19,390 --> 00:39:20,857 I found it in Ted's pocket. 737 00:39:20,891 --> 00:39:22,518 I think he would have wanted you to have it. 738 00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:25,427 - Oh, thanks, Sock. - Yeah. 739 00:39:27,131 --> 00:39:28,496 Attaboy. 740 00:39:29,934 --> 00:39:31,834 Uh, be safe, Mr. O. 741 00:39:31,869 --> 00:39:34,167 And thanks for keeping an eye on King Charlie. 742 00:39:34,205 --> 00:39:36,196 Oh, he's such a good rabbit, Ben. 743 00:39:36,240 --> 00:39:39,471 If it's okay, I'm just gonna tell him you went on a long cruise. 744 00:39:39,510 --> 00:39:41,205 Yeah, of course. 745 00:39:53,257 --> 00:39:54,451 Come on, Sam. This is... 746 00:39:54,492 --> 00:39:56,323 this is... this is exciting stuff. 747 00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:58,555 I mean, I feel like an astronaut 748 00:39:58,596 --> 00:40:00,359 blasting into space. 749 00:40:02,466 --> 00:40:04,434 I love you, Dad. 750 00:40:04,468 --> 00:40:07,232 I love you too, Sam. 751 00:40:13,144 --> 00:40:15,044 Okay. 752 00:40:24,455 --> 00:40:25,945 Give 'em hell, Mr. O. 753 00:40:25,990 --> 00:40:28,618 Count on it, Sock. Count on it. 754 00:40:56,587 --> 00:40:58,316 I heard about your dad. 755 00:40:58,355 --> 00:41:01,290 I'm sorry. 756 00:41:01,325 --> 00:41:03,520 Do you want some company? 757 00:41:08,899 --> 00:41:10,366 I called the Bargain Bench. 758 00:41:10,401 --> 00:41:12,392 Turns out they have a great return policy. 759 00:41:12,436 --> 00:41:14,199 Good. 760 00:41:16,774 --> 00:41:18,298 So aren't you gonna ask me? 761 00:41:18,342 --> 00:41:20,333 About what? 762 00:41:20,377 --> 00:41:21,742 About Sally. 763 00:41:23,047 --> 00:41:25,072 No, I am not. 764 00:41:27,852 --> 00:41:29,410 Nothing happened. 765 00:41:31,822 --> 00:41:35,588 Well, you know, it's really none of my business. 766 00:41:44,869 --> 00:41:46,734 Uh... 767 00:41:46,770 --> 00:41:49,364 It's my phone. 768 00:41:49,406 --> 00:41:52,000 Text message. 769 00:41:52,042 --> 00:41:55,034 - It's from my dad. - What? 770 00:41:55,079 --> 00:41:56,774 "I'm in. 771 00:41:56,814 --> 00:41:58,543 Will keep in touch. 772 00:41:58,582 --> 00:42:01,449 Should've brought water." 773 00:42:06,557 --> 00:42:08,616 He made it.