1 00:00:49,976 --> 00:00:52,008 About a week after their baby was born, 2 00:00:52,009 --> 00:00:54,175 thanks in part to the invaluable contribution 3 00:00:54,176 --> 00:00:55,408 of Brian Kinney, 4 00:00:55,409 --> 00:00:57,376 Lindsay and Melanie had a party. 5 00:00:57,377 --> 00:01:00,410 They invited a herd of their nearest and dearest lesbians, 6 00:01:00,411 --> 00:01:03,043 assorted relatives, and us, 7 00:01:03,044 --> 00:01:06,511 the friends of the father, to their house. 8 00:01:06,512 --> 00:01:08,410 It was really nice, 9 00:01:08,411 --> 00:01:11,345 the smell of bread baking and fresh flowers 10 00:01:11,346 --> 00:01:12,912 everywhere you looked, 11 00:01:12,913 --> 00:01:14,312 not like going to one of my friends' places, 12 00:01:14,313 --> 00:01:15,479 with the smell of dirty laundry 13 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:20,313 and stacks of porn tapes everywhere you looked. 14 00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:21,380 I'm scared of him. I'm just gonna go inside. 15 00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:22,381 Okay, we'll see you inside. 16 00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:24,247 Shirley! Shirley! 17 00:01:24,248 --> 00:01:26,281 Have you seen, uh, Norman? 18 00:01:26,282 --> 00:01:27,681 Seeing them in their beautiful home 19 00:01:27,682 --> 00:01:28,981 with their new baby 20 00:01:28,982 --> 00:01:31,015 and their arms around each other, 21 00:01:31,016 --> 00:01:35,516 I wished, for a moment, that I too could be a lesbian. 22 00:01:35,517 --> 00:01:37,116 But then I remembered I'd have to eat pussy, 23 00:01:37,117 --> 00:01:40,116 so I said, "forget it." 24 00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:43,650 Hey, Michael. How you doing? 25 00:01:43,651 --> 00:01:46,518 Michael. Oh, hi. 26 00:01:47,619 --> 00:01:49,418 Still, being there that day, 27 00:01:49,419 --> 00:01:51,418 I realized how different men and women are, 28 00:01:51,419 --> 00:01:53,218 and I don't think it has anything to do 29 00:01:53,219 --> 00:01:54,886 with being gay or straight. 30 00:01:54,887 --> 00:01:56,620 It's that, the way I see it, 31 00:01:56,621 --> 00:01:58,353 women know how to commit to each other. 32 00:01:58,354 --> 00:01:59,620 Men don't. 33 00:01:59,621 --> 00:02:02,487 At least not the men I know. 34 00:02:02,488 --> 00:02:05,220 Hey, Mikey. 35 00:02:05,221 --> 00:02:06,521 - Yeah. - How you been? 36 00:02:06,522 --> 00:02:10,389 But I'm jumping ahead. Let's go back an hour. 37 00:02:22,424 --> 00:02:25,957 I told you, I'm not going to the munchers' brunch. 38 00:02:26,992 --> 00:02:29,125 And that's final. 39 00:02:29,126 --> 00:02:32,325 Look, it's not for them. It's for your son. 40 00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:34,893 My son? 41 00:02:34,894 --> 00:02:37,226 He's only my son when they want my money. 42 00:02:37,227 --> 00:02:39,460 So why punish him by not going? 43 00:02:39,461 --> 00:02:41,493 Look, it's not as if he's going to know I'm not there. 44 00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,327 You can't be sure. I read someplace... 45 00:02:43,328 --> 00:02:44,427 Where, Marvel comics? 46 00:02:44,428 --> 00:02:45,628 That infants respond to things, 47 00:02:45,629 --> 00:02:46,995 even when still in the womb. 48 00:02:46,996 --> 00:02:49,095 Like, for instance, 49 00:02:49,096 --> 00:02:52,096 tension and discord affect them adversely, 50 00:02:52,097 --> 00:02:53,463 while playing Mozart and stuff like that 51 00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:54,829 makes them super-smart. 52 00:02:56,163 --> 00:02:57,963 Well, how do you think listening to the sound 53 00:02:57,964 --> 00:02:59,364 of two dykes go down on each other 54 00:02:59,365 --> 00:03:01,197 for the past nine months has affected him? 55 00:03:01,198 --> 00:03:02,931 Christ. 56 00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:04,365 He'll probably grow up to be straight. 57 00:03:04,366 --> 00:03:06,833 All the more reason why he needs his dad. 58 00:03:08,833 --> 00:03:11,965 Stop acting like a... 59 00:03:11,966 --> 00:03:13,232 Where the hell are you? 60 00:03:13,233 --> 00:03:16,599 Like a child and... 61 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:18,433 Brian? 62 00:03:18,434 --> 00:03:22,502 Jesus Christ, it's, like, 150 fucking degrees in here. 63 00:03:29,336 --> 00:03:31,937 There you are. 64 00:03:33,037 --> 00:03:35,936 What? 65 00:03:35,937 --> 00:03:37,169 Well, I was just about to say 66 00:03:37,170 --> 00:03:38,970 I think you should rise to the occasion, 67 00:03:38,971 --> 00:03:41,037 you know, be bigger than they are. 68 00:03:41,038 --> 00:03:42,504 That is, if you can take your hand and your mind 69 00:03:42,505 --> 00:03:43,971 off your dick long enough. 70 00:03:43,972 --> 00:03:45,105 Jesus! 71 00:03:45,106 --> 00:03:48,238 I... I've got more important things to do. 72 00:03:48,239 --> 00:03:50,206 Now, why don't you get out of here 73 00:03:50,207 --> 00:03:51,406 before your mousse melts? 74 00:03:51,407 --> 00:03:54,806 And if anybody should ask where you are? 75 00:03:54,807 --> 00:03:57,841 Just tell them the usual. 76 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,807 Something came up. 77 00:04:03,808 --> 00:04:06,341 - He looks exactly like... - Smile. 78 00:04:06,342 --> 00:04:09,075 - Hey! - Hi! 79 00:04:09,076 --> 00:04:11,476 Oh, that's so beautiful. 80 00:04:11,477 --> 00:04:13,843 Aunt Shirley, say something. 81 00:04:13,844 --> 00:04:16,243 Oh, I can't believe you're at a loss for words. 82 00:04:18,278 --> 00:04:21,077 I'm thrilled for you both. 83 00:04:21,078 --> 00:04:24,245 And such a lucky boy to have two mothers. 84 00:04:24,246 --> 00:04:26,279 What's he need a father for anyway? 85 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:28,345 Your uncle Ben was a lousy father. 86 00:04:28,346 --> 00:04:30,346 Never had any time for the family, 87 00:04:30,347 --> 00:04:32,480 always chasing women. 88 00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:35,813 You're better off being lesbians because... 89 00:04:35,814 --> 00:04:37,047 Well, take it from me... 90 00:04:37,048 --> 00:04:39,214 A stiff prick knows no conscience. 91 00:04:39,215 --> 00:04:41,814 Oh, God! 92 00:04:44,949 --> 00:04:48,949 Isn't he gorgeous? His name's Katsuo. 93 00:04:48,950 --> 00:04:50,049 Jews? 94 00:04:50,050 --> 00:04:52,383 No, no, no. No, Jews. 95 00:04:52,384 --> 00:04:55,517 Juice. Okay? 96 00:04:55,518 --> 00:04:58,350 He gives "Pacific Rim" a whole new meaning. 97 00:04:58,351 --> 00:05:00,185 - Where'd you find him? - He found me. 98 00:05:00,186 --> 00:05:01,918 I was having drinks in the lizard lounge, 99 00:05:01,919 --> 00:05:03,952 he comes over, starts chattering away. 100 00:05:03,953 --> 00:05:05,252 Only he doesn't speak any English, 101 00:05:05,253 --> 00:05:07,819 and the only Japanese I know is "Sony" and "Toyota." 102 00:05:07,820 --> 00:05:09,719 So how do you communicate with him? 103 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:11,819 There's other ways than talking. 104 00:05:11,820 --> 00:05:13,487 We all know it's not polite to talk with your mouth full. 105 00:05:13,488 --> 00:05:15,720 - Oh. - Hmm. 106 00:05:20,155 --> 00:05:22,122 It's called corned beef, sweetie. 107 00:05:22,123 --> 00:05:24,289 It's a Jewish delicacy. Okay? 108 00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:27,056 What do you suppose he's actually saying? 109 00:05:27,057 --> 00:05:31,123 What's it matter? We're in love, love, love. 110 00:05:31,124 --> 00:05:35,024 I'm going to wash my hands. 111 00:05:41,126 --> 00:05:42,991 Yeah, okay, all right. Let's go ask Melanie. 112 00:05:42,992 --> 00:05:45,026 She's fluent in Sushi. Come. 113 00:05:45,027 --> 00:05:46,226 Come. Come. Come. 114 00:05:46,227 --> 00:05:48,726 - Okay, have a bagel. - Mel. 115 00:05:48,727 --> 00:05:50,726 Hi, Mel. Okay, and cut. Great. 116 00:05:50,727 --> 00:05:52,227 Look. We need you to translate. 117 00:05:52,228 --> 00:05:54,394 Talk to Melanie. 118 00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:59,128 Melanie speak all axis powers. 119 00:06:06,196 --> 00:06:09,230 - He keeps saying "Kane." - Yeah. 120 00:06:09,231 --> 00:06:10,697 "Kane" is money. 121 00:06:10,698 --> 00:06:12,230 He's saying he expects Emmett to pay him. 122 00:06:12,231 --> 00:06:13,263 For what? 123 00:06:13,264 --> 00:06:15,331 He's a goddamn male prostitute. 124 00:06:17,365 --> 00:06:20,333 Oh, shit! 125 00:06:24,366 --> 00:06:26,799 Kane. Kane. 126 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,300 Melanie says... 127 00:06:28,301 --> 00:06:32,068 "Kane" means... 128 00:06:32,901 --> 00:06:33,868 "Love." 129 00:06:33,869 --> 00:06:35,935 He says he loves your voice. 130 00:06:35,936 --> 00:06:38,068 It's like a silent wind chime. 131 00:06:38,069 --> 00:06:41,068 And that your smile is like cherry blossoms 132 00:06:41,069 --> 00:06:44,304 floating on a still breeze. 133 00:06:47,938 --> 00:06:50,337 That... that is the most beautiful thing 134 00:06:50,338 --> 00:06:54,972 that anyone has ever said to me. 135 00:06:56,805 --> 00:06:59,371 Oh, here he is. Can I hold him? 136 00:06:59,372 --> 00:07:00,873 It's almost time for the ceremony. 137 00:07:00,874 --> 00:07:02,172 Where's Brian? 138 00:07:02,173 --> 00:07:04,673 He couldn't make it. 139 00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:05,706 He said to tell you that, uh... 140 00:07:05,707 --> 00:07:07,307 Something came up. 141 00:07:07,308 --> 00:07:09,974 I can guess what. 142 00:07:09,975 --> 00:07:11,240 Shall we begin? 143 00:07:11,241 --> 00:07:13,274 This is Rabbi Protesh. He'll be doing the bris. 144 00:07:13,275 --> 00:07:14,675 Oh, I love pot roast. 145 00:07:15,909 --> 00:07:17,641 That's brisket. 146 00:07:17,642 --> 00:07:18,675 I believe, in the Jewish faith, 147 00:07:18,676 --> 00:07:20,642 the bris is a circumcision ceremony. 148 00:07:20,643 --> 00:07:21,909 That's correct. 149 00:07:21,910 --> 00:07:23,809 First, I give the boy child a little wine. 150 00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:25,610 Then, I say a prayer or two. 151 00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:29,944 Then, I take my scalpel, and I remove his foreskin. 152 00:07:37,813 --> 00:07:39,879 He said that's all I was to him, 153 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:41,979 just a fuck. 154 00:07:41,980 --> 00:07:43,979 That's a shitty thing to say. 155 00:07:43,980 --> 00:07:47,247 And that he doesn't want to see me anymore. 156 00:07:47,248 --> 00:07:48,846 When my last boyfriend dumped me, 157 00:07:48,847 --> 00:07:51,147 I didn't hang around feeling sorry for myself. 158 00:07:51,148 --> 00:07:53,081 I went out and got a new one. 159 00:07:53,082 --> 00:07:55,715 When did you have a boyfriend? Third grade? 160 00:07:55,716 --> 00:07:57,682 Last summer. 161 00:07:57,683 --> 00:07:58,882 You never told me. 162 00:07:58,883 --> 00:08:01,349 I'm telling you now. 163 00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:03,816 You should have seen how jealous he got. 164 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,617 You can do the same thing. Show that Brian. 165 00:08:06,618 --> 00:08:08,051 Go back down there tonight. 166 00:08:08,052 --> 00:08:10,650 Pick up some hot, hunky guy. 167 00:08:10,651 --> 00:08:14,018 You're not exactly a troll, you know? 168 00:08:14,019 --> 00:08:16,352 Would you come with me? 169 00:08:16,353 --> 00:08:18,352 What if some lesbo tries to pick me up? 170 00:08:18,353 --> 00:08:20,252 I wouldn't know what to do. 171 00:08:20,253 --> 00:08:23,653 Although I like Melissa Etheridge a lot. 172 00:08:23,654 --> 00:08:25,053 Think that means anything? 173 00:08:25,054 --> 00:08:27,054 - Maybe. - Jesus. 174 00:08:31,855 --> 00:08:32,921 What if he had a heart attack? 175 00:08:32,922 --> 00:08:34,121 I mean, I read someplace that sometimes 176 00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:35,555 people have weak hearts, and they don't know... 177 00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:36,755 He just fainted. 178 00:08:36,756 --> 00:08:38,555 Let me through. I'm a doctor. 179 00:08:38,556 --> 00:08:40,122 What do you know about fainting? 180 00:08:40,123 --> 00:08:41,856 You're a retired podiatrist. 181 00:08:41,857 --> 00:08:43,756 What, you don't think anyone ever fainted in my office? 182 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:45,656 - From a corn? - Ah, just stand back. 183 00:08:45,657 --> 00:08:46,890 Give him some room. 184 00:08:46,891 --> 00:08:48,857 Has anybody got any, uh, smelling salts? 185 00:08:48,858 --> 00:08:50,624 - How about poppers? - What about horseradish? 186 00:08:50,625 --> 00:08:52,725 We have some for the gefilte fish. 187 00:08:52,726 --> 00:08:55,292 It's worth a shot. 188 00:09:02,161 --> 00:09:03,859 What happened? 189 00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:05,961 You fainted. 190 00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,794 Estelle, get some ice. Put it on his forehead. 191 00:09:07,795 --> 00:09:11,061 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 192 00:09:11,062 --> 00:09:13,628 I don't mean to hurry things along, but... 193 00:09:13,629 --> 00:09:16,597 I'm doing twins at 3:00. 194 00:09:19,763 --> 00:09:23,096 No, I'll be fine. Really. 195 00:09:27,532 --> 00:09:29,664 Hey. 196 00:09:29,665 --> 00:09:31,198 Call me sometime, huh? 197 00:09:31,199 --> 00:09:34,131 Sure... buddy. 198 00:09:39,734 --> 00:09:41,133 How's the party? 199 00:09:41,134 --> 00:09:43,500 You better get your ass over here fast. 200 00:09:43,501 --> 00:09:44,567 Why? 201 00:09:44,568 --> 00:09:45,701 With all those bull dykes around, 202 00:09:45,702 --> 00:09:46,968 is there a shortage of bottoms? 203 00:09:46,969 --> 00:09:48,767 No... remember Lindsay and Melanie's invitation? 204 00:09:48,768 --> 00:09:49,801 The part that was in Hebrew? 205 00:09:49,802 --> 00:09:51,835 I just found out what that means. 206 00:09:51,836 --> 00:09:54,169 In every Jewish boy's life, 207 00:09:54,170 --> 00:09:56,903 there are three steps to becoming a man. 208 00:09:56,904 --> 00:09:58,869 First, his bris. 209 00:09:58,870 --> 00:10:00,804 Then, his bar mitzvah. 210 00:10:00,805 --> 00:10:02,804 And finally, his marriage. 211 00:10:02,805 --> 00:10:05,837 For 3,500 years, the circumcision ritual 212 00:10:05,838 --> 00:10:07,870 has been the fundamental sign 213 00:10:07,871 --> 00:10:11,805 of the covenant between God and Israel. 214 00:10:11,806 --> 00:10:13,706 Melanie, will you please place your son 215 00:10:13,707 --> 00:10:16,673 on his mother's lap? 216 00:10:29,009 --> 00:10:30,242 Oh my God, he's really going to do it. 217 00:10:30,243 --> 00:10:32,942 - Okay, I... I can't... - Where's Brian? 218 00:10:32,943 --> 00:10:36,510 Looking after the only dick that matters... his own. 219 00:10:38,177 --> 00:10:40,676 Excuse me, Rabbi. 220 00:10:40,677 --> 00:10:44,510 You two, in the kitchen... 221 00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:45,777 Now! 222 00:10:47,912 --> 00:10:49,678 What the hell do you think you're doing? 223 00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:52,546 Barging in here, interrupting a religious ceremony. 224 00:10:52,547 --> 00:10:53,878 You should have asked my permission first. 225 00:10:53,879 --> 00:10:55,746 - For what? - To circumcise my son. 226 00:10:55,747 --> 00:10:57,113 We don't have to ask your permission. 227 00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:58,081 We're the parents. 228 00:10:58,082 --> 00:10:59,447 And I'm the biological father, 229 00:10:59,448 --> 00:11:00,681 and that gives me more rights than you. 230 00:11:00,682 --> 00:11:03,081 Oh-ho, I see someone's been studying his law. 231 00:11:03,082 --> 00:11:05,081 No, this is no time to be having this conversation, 232 00:11:05,082 --> 00:11:06,548 - with a house full of guests... - Yeah, and since when 233 00:11:06,549 --> 00:11:08,082 did you start caring about your son, 234 00:11:08,083 --> 00:11:09,648 considering you haven't been to see him once 235 00:11:09,649 --> 00:11:10,715 since he was born? 236 00:11:10,716 --> 00:11:11,948 Well, I'm not exactly welcome. 237 00:11:11,949 --> 00:11:13,083 Oh, bullshit, you've been too busy 238 00:11:13,084 --> 00:11:14,515 fucking everything that moves! 239 00:11:14,516 --> 00:11:17,950 Can we please stop this? 240 00:11:17,951 --> 00:11:20,450 Why does it matter to you if Gus is circumcised? 241 00:11:20,451 --> 00:11:22,551 It matters that he's been in this world less than a week, 242 00:11:22,552 --> 00:11:24,417 and already there are people who won't accept him 243 00:11:24,418 --> 00:11:25,517 for the way he is, 244 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,418 who'd even mutilate him rather than let him 245 00:11:27,419 --> 00:11:30,786 be the way he is, the way he was born. 246 00:11:32,553 --> 00:11:36,586 Well, I'm not going to let that happen. 247 00:11:36,587 --> 00:11:38,686 Excuse me. 248 00:11:38,687 --> 00:11:42,622 Uh, shall we proceed? 249 00:11:50,656 --> 00:11:53,522 You really showed those dykes who's got the low hangers. 250 00:11:53,523 --> 00:11:58,090 - And for once, it was us. - Mm-hmm. 251 00:11:58,091 --> 00:12:00,725 Deb, can we get some service? 252 00:12:00,726 --> 00:12:02,057 Keep your pants on. 253 00:12:02,058 --> 00:12:04,992 At least until you've had dinner. 254 00:12:04,993 --> 00:12:05,993 I've always said there's only two reasons 255 00:12:05,994 --> 00:12:07,158 to be friends with lesbians... 256 00:12:07,159 --> 00:12:08,626 They'll never try to convince you 257 00:12:08,627 --> 00:12:10,125 that the only reason you're gay 258 00:12:10,126 --> 00:12:11,892 is that you haven't met the right woman, 259 00:12:11,893 --> 00:12:13,826 and, uh, they know how to change a flat. 260 00:12:16,794 --> 00:12:19,660 It wasn't about them. 261 00:12:19,661 --> 00:12:22,061 It's about my son. 262 00:12:22,062 --> 00:12:26,395 If I don't look out for him, who will? 263 00:12:26,396 --> 00:12:27,895 Wow. 264 00:12:27,896 --> 00:12:29,062 If you're not careful, you might turn out 265 00:12:29,063 --> 00:12:32,930 to be an all right dad in spite of yourself. 266 00:12:32,931 --> 00:12:34,630 To Brian. 267 00:12:34,631 --> 00:12:36,763 - To Brian. - To Brian. 268 00:12:36,764 --> 00:12:39,664 Okay, boys. What'll it be? 269 00:12:39,665 --> 00:12:41,430 Nothing for me, thanks. 270 00:12:41,431 --> 00:12:42,565 Em, honey, you should try 271 00:12:42,566 --> 00:12:44,565 to eat some of your protein off a plate. 272 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,798 I read that, for every 30 pounds you lose, 273 00:12:48,799 --> 00:12:51,399 you gain an entire inch of cock. 274 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,100 So if you just drop another 90 pounds, 275 00:12:53,101 --> 00:12:55,066 you'll have a 4-inch pecker. 276 00:12:57,868 --> 00:12:59,468 What about the rest of you boys? 277 00:12:59,469 --> 00:13:01,067 - Nothing for me. - You know, I think I'll pass 278 00:13:01,068 --> 00:13:02,901 - right now. - Take a break. 279 00:13:02,902 --> 00:13:07,403 Cheeseburger, French fry, chocolate shake, apple pie. 280 00:13:13,704 --> 00:13:16,536 I just know it tastes good, that's all I care about. 281 00:13:16,537 --> 00:13:18,037 Oh. 282 00:13:18,038 --> 00:13:19,604 Sorry. 283 00:13:19,605 --> 00:13:20,904 It's okay. 284 00:13:20,905 --> 00:13:22,704 Hey, I know that guy. He works out at our gym. 285 00:13:22,705 --> 00:13:24,705 Uh, Blake. 286 00:13:24,706 --> 00:13:26,039 I think he likes you. 287 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:27,472 Oh, yeah. How can you tell? 288 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:28,872 'Cause he's looking back. 289 00:13:28,873 --> 00:13:30,641 He's probably just stretching his neck. 290 00:13:30,642 --> 00:13:32,473 - Will you listen to you? - What? 291 00:13:32,474 --> 00:13:34,040 Always putting yourself down. 292 00:13:34,041 --> 00:13:37,073 Well, better me than them. I'm gentler. 293 00:13:37,074 --> 00:13:39,807 Doesn't sound like it. 294 00:13:39,808 --> 00:13:41,775 You know, it is possible that someone 295 00:13:41,776 --> 00:13:43,508 could actually like you, you know? 296 00:13:43,509 --> 00:13:45,575 Yeah, it's possible. 297 00:13:45,576 --> 00:13:47,709 However, I'm sure a statistical analysis 298 00:13:47,710 --> 00:13:49,509 would reveal that the probability 299 00:13:49,510 --> 00:13:51,876 of a guy named Blake, who looks like that, 300 00:13:51,877 --> 00:13:55,644 actually liking a guy named Ted, who looks like me, 301 00:13:55,645 --> 00:14:00,312 to be in the .05 percentile. 302 00:14:00,313 --> 00:14:02,878 In other words, practically zip. 303 00:14:02,879 --> 00:14:04,945 Anyway, I'm sure Brian's more his type. 304 00:14:04,946 --> 00:14:06,579 How do you know that? 305 00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,646 Because Brian's everybody's type, 306 00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:10,279 which explains why he's had everybody. 307 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:11,313 - Well... - I know, I know. 308 00:14:11,314 --> 00:14:12,680 Except for you. 309 00:14:12,681 --> 00:14:15,047 Which is kind of weird when you think about it. 310 00:14:15,048 --> 00:14:17,881 - Weird? He's my best friend. - So? 311 00:14:17,882 --> 00:14:20,448 So everybody knows you don't have sex with your friends. 312 00:14:20,449 --> 00:14:21,848 Oh, right. 313 00:14:21,849 --> 00:14:23,382 Yeah, sex is something you only have 314 00:14:23,383 --> 00:14:25,515 with complete strangers, yeah. 315 00:14:25,516 --> 00:14:26,650 People you'll never see again, 316 00:14:26,651 --> 00:14:27,982 unless you just bump into them on the street, 317 00:14:27,983 --> 00:14:32,418 but never with someone you might actually give a shit about. 318 00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:37,284 Who made up these crazy rules anyway, huh? 319 00:14:37,285 --> 00:14:38,851 Beats me. Let's go have a drink. 320 00:14:38,852 --> 00:14:43,319 - Yeah, or two or three. - Yeah. 321 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:44,552 Hey. 322 00:14:44,553 --> 00:14:45,819 You think I'd look good in that? 323 00:14:45,820 --> 00:14:47,954 Eh... 324 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,887 Oh, my God! Look at that. 325 00:14:51,888 --> 00:14:53,687 Is it a girl or a boy? 326 00:14:53,688 --> 00:14:54,954 Jesus, don't point. 327 00:14:54,955 --> 00:14:56,554 No matter what you see. 328 00:14:56,555 --> 00:14:59,655 Guys kissing guys, girls kissing girls. 329 00:14:59,656 --> 00:15:02,489 Well, what if I see a guy and a girl kissing, huh? 330 00:15:02,490 --> 00:15:04,555 That'd be something different down here. 331 00:15:04,556 --> 00:15:06,722 And stop acting like you're so experienced. 332 00:15:06,723 --> 00:15:09,890 More than you. 333 00:15:09,891 --> 00:15:11,523 Don't forget what I said. 334 00:15:11,524 --> 00:15:13,224 If I see him, pretend I didn't. 335 00:15:13,225 --> 00:15:14,524 Don't even look. 336 00:15:14,525 --> 00:15:16,391 That is, if he's there, which he's probably not. 337 00:15:16,392 --> 00:15:19,393 But if he is, don't look. 338 00:15:21,559 --> 00:15:24,626 Should I freeze this or toss it? 339 00:15:24,627 --> 00:15:25,959 I'd rather not have it around 340 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:29,661 when I'm trying to get back into shape. 341 00:15:32,628 --> 00:15:34,395 So how long is this going to go on? 342 00:15:34,396 --> 00:15:36,328 Or do you plan never to speak to me ever again? 343 00:15:36,329 --> 00:15:38,528 What would you like me to say? 344 00:15:38,529 --> 00:15:40,329 - Anything. - All right. 345 00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:42,696 How about, "I have a house full of uneaten cold cuts 346 00:15:42,697 --> 00:15:44,295 and an uncircumcised son." 347 00:15:44,296 --> 00:15:47,763 How's that? 348 00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:50,697 Look, Brian's going to take out 349 00:15:50,698 --> 00:15:51,864 the insurance policy. 350 00:15:51,865 --> 00:15:53,264 At least he's agreed to do that. 351 00:15:53,265 --> 00:15:53,931 That's something, isn't it? 352 00:15:53,932 --> 00:15:55,598 Oh, my consolation prize. 353 00:15:55,599 --> 00:15:57,398 Well, it was important enough to you last week. 354 00:15:57,399 --> 00:16:00,299 So was this afternoon, but now I have been humiliated 355 00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:02,966 in front of our friends, my relatives, Rabbi Protesh. 356 00:16:02,967 --> 00:16:05,566 Where's the goddamn plastic wrap? 357 00:16:05,567 --> 00:16:08,200 - And you let him do it. - Me? 358 00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:10,167 You're the one who decided to call off the bris. 359 00:16:10,168 --> 00:16:12,434 Of course, I know it's not very important to you or Brian, 360 00:16:12,435 --> 00:16:13,868 but it happens to be a very important ritual 361 00:16:13,869 --> 00:16:14,901 in my family. 362 00:16:14,902 --> 00:16:16,402 You know, there are a lot of men 363 00:16:16,403 --> 00:16:18,669 who think circumcision is a cruel and barbaric practice? 364 00:16:18,670 --> 00:16:21,436 I don't care what men think about their dicks. 365 00:16:21,437 --> 00:16:23,269 I care that you put Brian before me. 366 00:16:23,270 --> 00:16:24,536 But you know, why should I be surprised? 367 00:16:24,537 --> 00:16:25,537 You always have. 368 00:16:25,538 --> 00:16:26,603 Oh, for Christ's sake. 369 00:16:26,604 --> 00:16:27,903 Are we really going to go through this again? 370 00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,671 I don't want to have this conversation. 371 00:16:29,672 --> 00:16:30,772 Yeah, and I didn't want Brian 372 00:16:30,773 --> 00:16:32,704 to be the baby's father in the first place, 373 00:16:32,705 --> 00:16:34,405 but, no, you had to have it your way. 374 00:16:34,406 --> 00:16:35,938 It had to be Brian or no one. 375 00:16:35,939 --> 00:16:37,905 So now he's a part of our lives forever, 376 00:16:37,906 --> 00:16:41,240 whether we like it or not. 377 00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:51,775 Okay. 378 00:16:51,776 --> 00:16:55,675 Well, I know what I'm doing tonight. 379 00:16:55,676 --> 00:16:58,375 What about the rest of you? 380 00:17:01,543 --> 00:17:03,543 Oh, shit! 381 00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:04,610 What's the matter, honey? 382 00:17:04,611 --> 00:17:06,543 My mom's here with my uncle Vic. 383 00:17:06,544 --> 00:17:09,144 She didn't tell me she was going to come here. 384 00:17:09,145 --> 00:17:11,411 Hey, not every boy's lucky enough to have a mother 385 00:17:11,412 --> 00:17:12,911 who's equally at home in the kitchen 386 00:17:12,912 --> 00:17:14,878 as she is in a gay bar. 387 00:17:14,879 --> 00:17:18,613 Now you behave yourself. 388 00:17:21,514 --> 00:17:24,313 As usual, Brian gets all the beauties 389 00:17:24,314 --> 00:17:25,713 while we get to watch. 390 00:17:25,714 --> 00:17:29,148 - He hasn't gotten him yet. - He will. 391 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,648 He's got the walk, he's got the talk. 392 00:17:30,649 --> 00:17:33,314 He's got the tattoo. 393 00:17:33,315 --> 00:17:35,415 Brian's got a ta... Where's Brian got a tattoo? 394 00:17:35,416 --> 00:17:38,316 In a place you'll never see. 395 00:17:43,151 --> 00:17:45,550 - Double shit! - What now? 396 00:17:45,551 --> 00:17:48,251 It's him. Our teen stalker. 397 00:17:48,252 --> 00:17:51,184 Christ, why won't he just go away? 398 00:17:51,185 --> 00:17:52,785 Remember me? 399 00:17:52,786 --> 00:17:56,118 Turn around. 400 00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:59,420 I never forget a butt, especially a cute one. 401 00:18:02,254 --> 00:18:04,553 I met you in the diner with Michael last week. 402 00:18:04,554 --> 00:18:06,254 Yeah. I'm Justin. 403 00:18:06,255 --> 00:18:08,454 - This is Daphne. - Hi. 404 00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:09,587 Hi, Daphne. 405 00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:10,588 What's he doing? 406 00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:12,121 Talking to your mom. 407 00:18:12,122 --> 00:18:13,288 What? 408 00:18:13,289 --> 00:18:15,523 Whoo-hoo! 409 00:18:18,157 --> 00:18:21,257 You know, I'm actually looking for a friend of Michael's. 410 00:18:21,258 --> 00:18:22,524 His name's Brian. 411 00:18:22,525 --> 00:18:23,657 Could've guessed that. 412 00:18:23,658 --> 00:18:26,124 Honey, everybody's looking for Brian. 413 00:18:26,125 --> 00:18:27,657 Have you seen him? 414 00:18:30,592 --> 00:18:32,525 That's Brian? 415 00:18:32,526 --> 00:18:35,125 God, he's so old! 416 00:18:35,126 --> 00:18:36,659 And skinny! 417 00:18:36,660 --> 00:18:38,226 And you could do way better than that. 418 00:18:38,227 --> 00:18:39,526 Would you shut up? 419 00:18:39,527 --> 00:18:41,660 5 bucks he nails him before midnight? 420 00:18:41,661 --> 00:18:43,527 You're on. 421 00:18:43,528 --> 00:18:45,094 I am not baby-sitting him again. 422 00:18:45,095 --> 00:18:46,528 This time, he's all yours. 423 00:18:46,529 --> 00:18:47,828 What? 424 00:18:47,829 --> 00:18:49,628 He's over there talking to my mother, 425 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,128 the little prick! 426 00:18:52,129 --> 00:18:55,462 Leave him alone. He's all right. 427 00:18:55,463 --> 00:18:56,762 Excuse me? 428 00:18:56,763 --> 00:18:58,096 The noise is so loud in here, 429 00:18:58,097 --> 00:18:59,730 I thought I heard you say he's all right. 430 00:18:59,731 --> 00:19:02,397 In fact... 431 00:19:02,398 --> 00:19:04,497 - He's kind of sweet. - Sweet? 432 00:19:04,498 --> 00:19:05,798 I thought we got rid of him. 433 00:19:05,799 --> 00:19:09,432 I thought he was out of our lives. 434 00:19:09,433 --> 00:19:11,532 - Where'd he go? - Who? 435 00:19:11,533 --> 00:19:13,699 Who do you think? 436 00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:15,799 Shit. He's gone. 437 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,132 And this is all your fault. 438 00:19:17,133 --> 00:19:19,133 You made me look away. 439 00:19:19,134 --> 00:19:21,401 Oh, fuck you, Michael! 440 00:19:24,568 --> 00:19:27,268 Need a napkin over here, please. 441 00:19:27,269 --> 00:19:29,535 What's eating him? Or isn't? 442 00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:30,703 None of your business! 443 00:19:30,704 --> 00:19:32,602 You watch your mouth. 444 00:19:32,603 --> 00:19:34,035 Why do you have to come here? 445 00:19:34,036 --> 00:19:36,469 Well, Vic was feeling better, so we thought 446 00:19:36,470 --> 00:19:37,769 we'd come after my shift and have a drink. 447 00:19:37,770 --> 00:19:39,103 What's the big deal? 448 00:19:39,104 --> 00:19:40,437 The big deal is I came here to hang out 449 00:19:40,438 --> 00:19:42,204 with my friends, not my mother! 450 00:19:42,205 --> 00:19:45,271 Sweetie, you know I approve of your lifestyle. 451 00:19:45,272 --> 00:19:47,005 Maybe I don't want you to approve. 452 00:19:47,006 --> 00:19:50,506 Maybe I want you to go home and cry. 453 00:19:59,008 --> 00:20:01,341 Come on! 454 00:20:08,376 --> 00:20:10,142 Fuck me. 455 00:20:10,143 --> 00:20:12,377 Love to. 456 00:20:14,077 --> 00:20:16,043 No, can't we do something else? 457 00:20:16,044 --> 00:20:18,710 Mike? 458 00:20:18,711 --> 00:20:21,143 Tracy! 459 00:20:21,144 --> 00:20:23,478 It is you! 460 00:20:23,479 --> 00:20:24,678 Isn't this wild? 461 00:20:24,679 --> 00:20:26,545 Yeah. Really wild. 462 00:20:26,546 --> 00:20:28,112 Oh, my friends and I, 463 00:20:28,113 --> 00:20:29,046 we thought we'd have a little adventure. 464 00:20:29,047 --> 00:20:30,480 Hey. 465 00:20:30,481 --> 00:20:31,579 I mean you always hear about this place, 466 00:20:31,580 --> 00:20:33,312 but who ever comes here? 467 00:20:33,313 --> 00:20:36,313 Not me. 468 00:20:36,314 --> 00:20:38,647 Until tonight. I mean, I'm here with a friend. 469 00:20:38,648 --> 00:20:41,014 You know, a gay friend. You know, just a friend. 470 00:20:41,015 --> 00:20:42,281 Since high school, actually. 471 00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:43,981 We have this kind of foreign exchange program. 472 00:20:43,982 --> 00:20:46,514 You know, I take him to football games and beer busts, 473 00:20:46,515 --> 00:20:50,282 and he takes me to the opera and wine tasting. 474 00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:51,415 Yeah. 475 00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:53,516 So why don't we all go for a drink? 476 00:20:53,517 --> 00:20:56,117 Safety in numbers. 477 00:20:56,118 --> 00:20:59,317 I... I, uh... I'm a little beat. 478 00:20:59,318 --> 00:21:01,217 I was on my way home. 479 00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:04,151 Oh, well, sounds like a good idea. 480 00:21:04,152 --> 00:21:06,151 You know, stick around here too long, 481 00:21:06,152 --> 00:21:08,152 you might wind up switching teams! 482 00:21:10,053 --> 00:21:11,519 I lost him. 483 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,087 Fuck! 484 00:21:14,088 --> 00:21:16,020 This is my friend, Brian. 485 00:21:16,021 --> 00:21:18,187 Brian, this is Tracy... 486 00:21:18,188 --> 00:21:20,520 Uh, you know... 487 00:21:20,521 --> 00:21:23,688 From the store. 488 00:21:23,689 --> 00:21:27,155 Tracy. Of course, from the store. 489 00:21:27,156 --> 00:21:30,490 He talks about you all the time. 490 00:21:30,491 --> 00:21:32,323 He does? 491 00:21:32,324 --> 00:21:34,190 - I mean, all the time. - Okay! 492 00:21:34,191 --> 00:21:35,290 Time to go. 493 00:21:35,291 --> 00:21:36,557 What's the rush? 494 00:21:36,558 --> 00:21:39,191 She's even prettier than you said. 495 00:21:39,192 --> 00:21:40,424 Mike! 496 00:21:40,425 --> 00:21:42,658 You know, he'd never tell you this himself... 497 00:21:42,659 --> 00:21:45,559 He's far too shy. 498 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:48,158 He likes you... 499 00:21:48,159 --> 00:21:49,926 - A lot. - Well, uh... 500 00:21:49,927 --> 00:21:50,927 I think it's time we took off. 501 00:21:50,928 --> 00:21:52,660 Uh, bye, Tracy. 502 00:21:52,661 --> 00:21:53,993 I'll just see you Monday. 503 00:21:53,994 --> 00:21:55,560 Yeah, I'll see you Monday. 504 00:21:55,561 --> 00:21:58,394 What the fuck did you do that for? 505 00:21:58,395 --> 00:22:00,361 You practically got us engaged. 506 00:22:00,362 --> 00:22:02,595 Well, I want to dance with the bride at her wedding. 507 00:22:04,563 --> 00:22:05,995 And Tracy too. 508 00:22:05,996 --> 00:22:08,129 Shit. 509 00:22:08,130 --> 00:22:10,062 By the way, where'd Michael go? 510 00:22:10,063 --> 00:22:13,030 What time is it? 11:00. 511 00:22:13,031 --> 00:22:15,530 Time for Babylon. Night's just starting. 512 00:22:15,531 --> 00:22:17,164 Well, that's just where we're going. 513 00:22:17,165 --> 00:22:19,398 - You've been there before? - Sure. 514 00:22:19,399 --> 00:22:21,198 - A lot. - Really? 515 00:22:21,199 --> 00:22:23,331 I didn't know they had kiddie memberships. 516 00:22:23,332 --> 00:22:24,365 You have to be a member? 517 00:22:24,366 --> 00:22:27,532 Can't get in without a card. 518 00:22:28,501 --> 00:22:30,101 Here. 519 00:22:30,102 --> 00:22:32,867 You can have mine. 520 00:22:32,868 --> 00:22:34,900 I'm through with it. 521 00:22:34,901 --> 00:22:37,101 He's paid his dues. 522 00:22:37,102 --> 00:22:38,568 Thanks! 523 00:22:40,069 --> 00:22:43,236 - I.D.? - Right here. 524 00:22:45,169 --> 00:22:47,103 Born 1952? 525 00:22:47,104 --> 00:22:49,336 You look damn good for your age, Vic. 526 00:23:17,542 --> 00:23:18,941 You wanna go? 527 00:23:19,142 --> 00:23:21,175 What for? 528 00:23:21,176 --> 00:23:24,309 We just got here. 529 00:23:24,310 --> 00:23:27,342 All right, come on. 530 00:23:42,313 --> 00:23:43,445 Oh! 531 00:23:43,446 --> 00:23:45,579 What would you do if you actually had to go? 532 00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:47,979 Find a scat queen. 533 00:23:47,980 --> 00:23:50,046 Gross. 534 00:23:50,147 --> 00:23:53,781 Didn't your mom ever teach you to wash your hands? 535 00:23:53,782 --> 00:23:56,900 _ 536 00:24:06,851 --> 00:24:09,250 Careful, it's strong. 537 00:24:11,918 --> 00:24:15,085 Nice. 538 00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:20,219 I got it from Tommy Hagger. 539 00:24:20,220 --> 00:24:22,419 He can get anything. 540 00:24:22,420 --> 00:24:25,053 He got me that Superman episode with George Reeves, 541 00:24:25,054 --> 00:24:27,754 the only one ever shot in color. 542 00:24:27,755 --> 00:24:31,520 It's so ancient, you can even see the strings. 543 00:24:31,521 --> 00:24:35,521 Oh, did I tell you what I got on eBay? 544 00:24:35,522 --> 00:24:39,789 A vintage MEGO Lynda Carter Wonder Woman doll. 545 00:24:39,790 --> 00:24:42,922 Mint, in box. 546 00:24:42,923 --> 00:24:44,223 It cost me an entire week's salary, 547 00:24:44,224 --> 00:24:45,790 but it was so worth it. 548 00:24:48,991 --> 00:24:51,824 Mikey, you are so pathetic. 549 00:24:54,825 --> 00:24:57,492 I also got that photo. 550 00:24:57,493 --> 00:25:00,393 The one of Patrick Swayze with his shirt off. 551 00:25:00,394 --> 00:25:02,760 Really? 552 00:25:02,761 --> 00:25:04,259 It must be all yellow by now, 553 00:25:04,260 --> 00:25:07,860 cum stains all over it. 554 00:25:07,861 --> 00:25:10,094 He's still beautiful. 555 00:25:10,095 --> 00:25:14,461 We owe it all to him. 556 00:25:14,462 --> 00:25:15,995 We should write him a fan letter. 557 00:25:15,996 --> 00:25:19,395 I did. 558 00:25:19,396 --> 00:25:21,395 No. 559 00:25:21,396 --> 00:25:23,130 Really? When? 560 00:25:23,131 --> 00:25:25,864 A long time ago. 561 00:25:25,865 --> 00:25:28,197 What did you say? 562 00:25:28,198 --> 00:25:30,031 I don't remember. 563 00:25:30,032 --> 00:25:32,965 "My friend and I think you're so hot!" 564 00:25:32,966 --> 00:25:34,397 He never wrote back. 565 00:25:35,932 --> 00:25:38,031 Fuck him. 566 00:25:38,032 --> 00:25:41,200 You still got me. 567 00:26:00,270 --> 00:26:01,803 What are you doing? 568 00:26:01,804 --> 00:26:03,836 Nothing. 569 00:26:03,837 --> 00:26:06,905 It must be the trail mix. 570 00:26:08,438 --> 00:26:12,338 Yeah. Must be. 571 00:26:12,339 --> 00:26:16,240 Come on. Let's go back. 572 00:26:25,875 --> 00:26:29,841 Come on, let's go up the stairs over there. 573 00:26:31,342 --> 00:26:32,741 Let's check out the bar. 574 00:26:32,742 --> 00:26:34,142 Maybe that guy you made me lose is there. 575 00:26:34,143 --> 00:26:38,709 I didn't make you lose him. 576 00:26:38,710 --> 00:26:40,009 Time to organize a search party. 577 00:26:40,010 --> 00:26:41,977 - Who's missing? - Katsuo! 578 00:26:41,978 --> 00:26:44,144 I was talking to dungeon master Don, 579 00:26:44,145 --> 00:26:45,743 who wants to mummify me. 580 00:26:45,744 --> 00:26:47,077 Have you noticed that the world's getting weirder? 581 00:26:47,078 --> 00:26:49,844 Anyway, I turned around, and he was gone. 582 00:26:49,845 --> 00:26:52,945 I have a feeling he'll be all right. 583 00:26:52,946 --> 00:26:55,745 He doesn't speak a word of English. 584 00:26:55,746 --> 00:26:58,846 A... and he's so sweet, so innocent. 585 00:26:58,847 --> 00:27:00,680 What if some cock-hungry queen 586 00:27:00,681 --> 00:27:02,213 tries to have his way with him? 587 00:27:02,214 --> 00:27:04,247 I thought you already did. 588 00:27:04,248 --> 00:27:06,881 He's around somewhere. I'm sure you'll find him. 589 00:27:06,882 --> 00:27:09,882 Thanks. 590 00:27:21,785 --> 00:27:24,117 Target sighted. All systems go. 591 00:27:24,118 --> 00:27:27,284 See you later, Mikey. 592 00:27:30,787 --> 00:27:33,118 Hey, how you doing? 593 00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:35,019 Good, glad to hear it. 594 00:27:35,020 --> 00:27:37,986 Hey, how's it going? 595 00:27:37,987 --> 00:27:40,887 Ah, you know, no complaints. Thanks. 596 00:27:40,888 --> 00:27:42,953 Hey, hey, can I buy you a drink? 597 00:27:42,954 --> 00:27:45,888 Yeah, I'll take a beer. 598 00:27:45,889 --> 00:27:47,155 Oh, it's you. 599 00:27:47,156 --> 00:27:50,256 Oh, fuck you! 600 00:27:51,990 --> 00:27:53,989 What are you on? 601 00:27:53,990 --> 00:27:56,589 Nothing. 602 00:27:56,590 --> 00:28:00,124 A little of Brian's mix. 603 00:28:00,125 --> 00:28:01,590 Any luck? 604 00:28:01,591 --> 00:28:04,057 Oh, I'm heading for an all-time season record. 605 00:28:04,058 --> 00:28:06,725 Eight straight... actually, make that not-so-straight... 606 00:28:06,726 --> 00:28:08,858 No-hitters. 607 00:28:08,859 --> 00:28:11,658 ♪ Dance, dance with me ♪ 608 00:28:11,659 --> 00:28:14,259 Blake just winked at you. 609 00:28:14,260 --> 00:28:17,826 He's got some crystal meth in his eye. 610 00:28:17,827 --> 00:28:18,993 He did it again! 611 00:28:18,994 --> 00:28:21,693 I told you, he likes you! 612 00:28:21,694 --> 00:28:24,194 Why don't you just go over and ask him to dance? 613 00:28:24,195 --> 00:28:25,227 'Cause he'll just say, "come back 614 00:28:25,228 --> 00:28:27,694 when you get a hair transplant and some liposuction." 615 00:28:27,695 --> 00:28:31,328 You do not need a hair transplant and liposuction. 616 00:28:31,329 --> 00:28:33,996 Besides, nobody would be that cruel to you, 617 00:28:33,997 --> 00:28:36,196 except maybe yourself. 618 00:28:36,197 --> 00:28:37,730 Yeah, well, I'm gonna take off. 619 00:28:37,731 --> 00:28:39,897 Come on. It's too early! 620 00:28:39,898 --> 00:28:41,230 Yeah, or too late, depending which side 621 00:28:41,231 --> 00:28:44,131 of the dance floor you happen to be standing on. 622 00:28:44,132 --> 00:28:46,998 Well, maybe you should try going after, 623 00:28:46,999 --> 00:28:49,799 you know, someone... 624 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:53,699 Well, like... like you, and not someone... 625 00:28:53,700 --> 00:28:56,167 Young and cute? Thanks. 626 00:28:56,168 --> 00:28:58,800 That's not how I meant it! 627 00:28:58,801 --> 00:28:59,867 Hell, I should talk. 628 00:28:59,868 --> 00:29:03,601 I can't get anybody interested in me either. 629 00:29:03,602 --> 00:29:07,102 Yeah, but you could, if you wanted. 630 00:29:08,136 --> 00:29:12,536 ♪ Dance with me ♪ 631 00:29:12,537 --> 00:29:14,969 You're worth so much more than you know, Michael. 632 00:29:16,237 --> 00:29:19,570 ♪ dance with me ♪ 633 00:29:19,571 --> 00:29:21,237 I'll call you tomorrow. 634 00:29:21,238 --> 00:29:23,738 ♪ Dance ♪ 635 00:29:23,739 --> 00:29:25,305 ♪ dance with me ♪ 636 00:29:28,573 --> 00:29:30,873 ♪ dance ♪ 637 00:29:30,874 --> 00:29:33,673 ♪ dance with me ♪ 638 00:29:35,574 --> 00:29:38,574 Look! There he is. There's Brian. 639 00:29:38,575 --> 00:29:42,541 ♪ Dance with me ♪ 640 00:29:42,542 --> 00:29:43,941 Shit! 641 00:29:55,777 --> 00:29:58,745 Didn't want to dance? 642 00:30:00,711 --> 00:30:03,978 Oh, uh... Yeah, I'm not much of a dancer. 643 00:30:03,979 --> 00:30:06,778 Although I... I enjoy dancing. 644 00:30:06,779 --> 00:30:10,579 I... I didn't realize you were asking, uh... 645 00:30:10,580 --> 00:30:12,146 You taking off? 646 00:30:12,147 --> 00:30:13,747 Yeah. 647 00:30:13,748 --> 00:30:15,947 Yeah, you know, sometimes it just, uh... 648 00:30:15,948 --> 00:30:18,080 Uh, it gets a little too... 649 00:30:18,081 --> 00:30:21,881 Intense? 650 00:30:21,882 --> 00:30:23,614 Intense, that's... 651 00:30:23,615 --> 00:30:25,115 That's a good word. 652 00:30:25,116 --> 00:30:27,081 Yeah, I know what you mean. 653 00:30:27,082 --> 00:30:30,150 Sometimes it gets a little too intense in there for me too. 654 00:30:33,617 --> 00:30:35,716 You going home? 655 00:30:35,717 --> 00:30:38,819 Do you want some company? 656 00:30:40,485 --> 00:30:43,553 Well, you know, it's... It's a little late. 657 00:30:45,686 --> 00:30:47,886 And, uh... 658 00:30:51,054 --> 00:30:53,753 Sure. 659 00:30:53,754 --> 00:30:55,453 Are you sure? 660 00:30:55,454 --> 00:30:58,488 Sure. I mean, i... if you're sure. 661 00:30:58,489 --> 00:30:59,987 I'm sure. 662 00:31:03,455 --> 00:31:04,455 Well, then. 663 00:31:27,593 --> 00:31:32,526 What is the meaning of this? 664 00:31:32,527 --> 00:31:33,527 Kane. 665 00:31:33,528 --> 00:31:35,427 Kane! Kane! 666 00:31:35,428 --> 00:31:38,460 Kane! 667 00:31:51,864 --> 00:31:53,130 Hello? 668 00:31:53,131 --> 00:31:56,597 How do you say "tacky little cocksucker" in Japanese? 669 00:31:56,598 --> 00:31:58,565 Do you know what time it is? 670 00:31:58,566 --> 00:32:02,132 It's okay, sweetie. Who was that? 671 00:32:02,133 --> 00:32:03,465 Emmett. 672 00:32:03,466 --> 00:32:05,599 I think he just found out what "Kane" means. 673 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:08,133 Oh. 674 00:32:08,134 --> 00:32:10,099 I'm sorry I woke you and the baby. 675 00:32:10,100 --> 00:32:11,867 I know you need your rest. 676 00:32:11,868 --> 00:32:13,600 I was up anyway. 677 00:32:13,601 --> 00:32:17,434 You were? So was I. 678 00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:20,068 Just thinking about all the terrible things I said. 679 00:32:20,069 --> 00:32:21,569 No, I should've stood up to him. 680 00:32:21,570 --> 00:32:22,503 I should've. 681 00:32:22,504 --> 00:32:24,069 No, it was best to be practical. 682 00:32:24,070 --> 00:32:26,469 I mean, this way, Gus... 683 00:32:26,470 --> 00:32:28,903 How am I ever going to get used to that name? 684 00:32:28,904 --> 00:32:33,537 May keep his foreskin but still be provided for. 685 00:32:33,538 --> 00:32:35,971 Look, it doesn't matter who's right. 686 00:32:35,972 --> 00:32:38,371 We can't allow Brian to come between us, 687 00:32:38,372 --> 00:32:39,638 as much as he'd like to. 688 00:32:39,639 --> 00:32:40,839 And you know he would. 689 00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:42,039 Even if he is the father, 690 00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:44,739 we're still the parents. You and me. 691 00:32:44,740 --> 00:32:47,706 Gus belongs to us. 692 00:32:47,707 --> 00:32:49,840 And that's why we had him. 693 00:32:49,841 --> 00:32:51,106 Why you had him. 694 00:32:51,107 --> 00:32:52,841 Aside from saying "push" and "breathe," 695 00:32:52,842 --> 00:32:54,807 I really didn't have that much to do with it. 696 00:32:54,808 --> 00:32:57,775 You had everything to do with it. 697 00:32:57,776 --> 00:33:00,976 I never would have had him without you. 698 00:33:05,977 --> 00:33:08,577 Just remember that, 699 00:33:08,578 --> 00:33:12,745 next time you're wondering who comes first. 700 00:33:14,412 --> 00:33:15,911 Oh. 701 00:33:30,882 --> 00:33:33,747 You know, the worst part is not that he was unfaithful 702 00:33:33,748 --> 00:33:35,115 or even a slut. 703 00:33:35,216 --> 00:33:37,649 I mean, nobody's perfect. 704 00:33:38,650 --> 00:33:42,650 It's that he said he loved me. 705 00:33:42,651 --> 00:33:44,650 I mean, he lied to me! 706 00:33:44,651 --> 00:33:48,117 How could he lie to you? He doesn't speak English. 707 00:33:48,118 --> 00:33:51,517 Look, I'm the one who told you that. 708 00:33:51,518 --> 00:33:54,452 I'm sorry. 709 00:33:56,086 --> 00:33:58,519 My own fault. 710 00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:03,120 Why do I always give my heart away to trash, huh? 711 00:34:03,121 --> 00:34:07,086 Because you want to see it in the dumpster? 712 00:34:16,789 --> 00:34:19,122 He's not getting away this time. 713 00:34:19,123 --> 00:34:20,555 ♪ We're gonna get there soon ♪ 714 00:34:20,556 --> 00:34:22,356 ♪ we're gonna be okay ♪ 715 00:34:22,357 --> 00:34:24,289 ♪ the sun will shine again ♪ 716 00:34:24,290 --> 00:34:25,823 ♪ we'll make a better day ♪ 717 00:34:44,327 --> 00:34:46,594 It's a nice place. You own it? 718 00:34:46,595 --> 00:34:47,993 Oh, absolutely. 719 00:34:47,994 --> 00:34:51,595 You know, your home is your most important investment. 720 00:34:52,196 --> 00:34:54,495 It's what we tell our clients. 721 00:34:54,496 --> 00:34:56,029 Do you want a... 722 00:34:56,030 --> 00:34:58,463 A beer or some scotch? 723 00:34:58,464 --> 00:35:01,429 No, just some water. I don't drink. 724 00:35:01,430 --> 00:35:03,297 Well, uh, take off your jacket. 725 00:35:03,298 --> 00:35:06,264 I... I'll be right back. 726 00:35:15,233 --> 00:35:17,532 Here you go. 727 00:35:17,533 --> 00:35:20,000 Thanks. 728 00:35:35,570 --> 00:35:37,269 You're sexy, you know that? 729 00:35:38,437 --> 00:35:41,436 Yeah... Frankly, no. 730 00:35:41,437 --> 00:35:44,804 That's why you are... 731 00:35:47,371 --> 00:35:50,539 Because you don't know you are. 732 00:35:55,307 --> 00:36:00,041 Well, I do know... 733 00:36:00,042 --> 00:36:02,475 That you are beautiful. 734 00:36:44,148 --> 00:36:45,781 Bastard. 735 00:36:45,782 --> 00:36:48,248 He doesn't even have to try. 736 00:36:52,916 --> 00:36:56,917 Look, he's got someone. 737 00:37:07,185 --> 00:37:09,918 - Hold it. - You're not going? 738 00:37:12,386 --> 00:37:15,387 No way. 739 00:37:22,855 --> 00:37:26,454 - What is that? - It's GHB. 740 00:37:26,455 --> 00:37:28,489 You ever use it? 741 00:37:28,490 --> 00:37:29,857 Once in a while. 742 00:37:29,858 --> 00:37:32,424 Sex is awesome with it. 743 00:37:34,190 --> 00:37:36,223 You first. 744 00:37:36,224 --> 00:37:37,289 Ah... 745 00:37:37,290 --> 00:37:40,424 Go on. 746 00:37:46,693 --> 00:37:49,925 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 747 00:37:53,193 --> 00:37:56,161 I don't feel anything. 748 00:38:06,296 --> 00:38:09,896 He's not! He can't! 749 00:38:09,897 --> 00:38:12,362 He can. 750 00:38:12,363 --> 00:38:14,963 ♪ The music ♪ 751 00:38:23,365 --> 00:38:27,432 How does he do it? What does he say? 752 00:38:27,433 --> 00:38:31,666 We'll never know. 753 00:38:31,667 --> 00:38:36,200 But whatever it is, he says it for all of us. 754 00:38:46,436 --> 00:38:47,668 Hey. 755 00:38:47,669 --> 00:38:49,302 - Hey, you all right? - Yeah. 756 00:39:25,176 --> 00:39:26,308 ♪ He won't trust... ♪ 757 00:39:26,309 --> 00:39:31,142 Is he gonna do it with both of them? 758 00:39:31,143 --> 00:39:32,977 He can do anything he wants. 759 00:39:32,978 --> 00:39:36,377 ♪ After a long day... ♪ 760 00:39:36,378 --> 00:39:38,144 What are you doing? 761 00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:47,346 ♪ hey, look, the real boy wonder is here ♪ 762 00:39:47,347 --> 00:39:51,746 ♪ everybody's gonna stand up and cheer ♪ 763 00:39:51,747 --> 00:39:54,814 ♪ see him shining so bright ♪ 764 00:39:54,815 --> 00:39:58,014 ♪ like a sky full of stars at night ♪ 765 00:39:58,015 --> 00:40:02,015 ♪ hour after hour ♪ 766 00:40:02,016 --> 00:40:05,983 ♪ he's got the superpower ♪ 767 00:40:05,984 --> 00:40:09,583 ♪ the real boy wonder is here ♪ 768 00:40:09,584 --> 00:40:12,583 ♪ and he's all mine ♪ 769 00:40:19,052 --> 00:40:22,285 ♪ hey, whoa ♪ 770 00:40:22,286 --> 00:40:26,752 ♪ whoa oh ♪ 771 00:40:26,753 --> 00:40:29,888 ♪ hey, whoa ♪ 772 00:40:29,889 --> 00:40:33,854 ♪ whoa oh ♪ 773 00:40:44,257 --> 00:40:48,123 What's the boy doing? 774 00:40:48,124 --> 00:40:50,223 ♪ Everybody's gonna stand up ♪ 775 00:40:50,224 --> 00:40:52,657 Oh, God. Stop! 776 00:40:52,658 --> 00:40:57,224 Oh, my God, stop! 777 00:40:57,225 --> 00:40:59,125 Stop! 778 00:40:59,126 --> 00:41:03,659 Ted! Oh, my God! 779 00:41:03,660 --> 00:41:07,093 Ted! 780 00:41:07,094 --> 00:41:10,760 ♪ The real boy wonder is here ♪ 781 00:41:16,062 --> 00:41:19,595 ♪ hey, whoa ♪ 782 00:41:19,596 --> 00:41:23,762 ♪ whoa oh ♪ 783 00:41:23,763 --> 00:41:26,863 ♪ hey, whoa ♪ 784 00:41:26,864 --> 00:41:28,997 ♪ whoa oh ♪ 785 00:41:45,167 --> 00:41:49,000 ♪ hey, whoa ♪ 786 00:41:49,001 --> 00:41:53,001 ♪ whoa oh ♪ 787 00:41:53,002 --> 00:41:55,902 ♪ hey, whoa ♪ 788 00:41:55,903 --> 00:41:59,903 ♪ whoa oh ♪ 789 00:42:06,638 --> 00:42:11,504 ♪ hey, look, the real boy wonder is here ♪ 790 00:42:11,505 --> 00:42:14,704 ♪ everybody's gonna stand up and cheer ♪ 791 00:42:14,705 --> 00:42:18,739 ♪ see him shining so bright ♪ 792 00:42:18,740 --> 00:42:22,006 ♪ like a sky full of stars at night ♪ 793 00:42:22,007 --> 00:42:25,606 ♪ hour after hour ♪ 794 00:42:25,607 --> 00:42:30,174 ♪ he's got the superpower ♪ 795 00:42:30,175 --> 00:42:34,074 ♪ the real boy wonder is here ♪ 796 00:42:34,075 --> 00:42:36,642 ♪ and he's all mine ♪ 797 00:42:39,010 --> 00:42:42,609 ♪ hey, whoa ♪ 798 00:42:42,610 --> 00:42:46,477 ♪ whoa oh ♪ 799 00:42:46,478 --> 00:42:49,710 ♪ hey, whoa ♪ 800 00:42:49,711 --> 00:42:52,878 ♪ whoa oh ♪ 801 00:43:03,627 --> 00:43:08,627 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -