1 00:00:32,626 --> 00:00:34,324 Pam ! Pamela, 2 00:00:34,401 --> 00:00:37,169 Pamelamela Ding Dong ! Making copies. 3 00:00:38,077 --> 00:00:40,218 - I'm not making any copies. - Let's go ! 4 00:00:40,546 --> 00:00:43,702 Messages, date, lots to do lots to do... 5 00:00:43,837 --> 00:00:45,090 Information superhighway ! 6 00:00:45,184 --> 00:00:46,684 - Nothing new... - Let them unw... 7 00:00:46,722 --> 00:00:49,003 - There's nothing new. - That's not what you said earlier. 8 00:00:49,256 --> 00:00:52,475 Oh do you want me to repeat the messages that I gave you before ? 9 00:00:52,534 --> 00:00:53,555 For the... 10 00:00:57,315 --> 00:01:02,762 The most sacred thing I do is care, and provide for my workers, my family. 11 00:01:03,055 --> 00:01:04,498 I give them money. 12 00:01:04,616 --> 00:01:06,013 I give them food. 13 00:01:07,029 --> 00:01:09,048 Not directly, but through the money... 14 00:01:10,093 --> 00:01:12,078 I heal them. 15 00:01:13,089 --> 00:01:17,382 Today I am in charge, of picking a great new healthcare plan. 16 00:01:17,974 --> 00:01:19,970 Right ? That's what this is all about ! 17 00:01:22,158 --> 00:01:24,727 Does that make me their doctor ? 18 00:01:27,226 --> 00:01:29,521 Yes... In a way... 19 00:01:30,329 --> 00:01:32,163 Yeah, like a specialist. 20 00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:38,136 So which health plan have you decided on ? 21 00:01:38,371 --> 00:01:40,508 I am going to go with best, Jan. 22 00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:42,704 I am going to go with the one with 23 00:01:42,762 --> 00:01:45,874 the acupuncture, therapeutic massage... 24 00:01:45,979 --> 00:01:48,152 - You know, the works... - Wait acupuncture ? 25 00:01:48,246 --> 00:01:49,619 None of the plans have acupuncture. 26 00:01:50,060 --> 00:01:51,808 Have you looked at them closely Michael ? 27 00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:56,576 I think it was you who didn't look closely enough at the "gold plan". 28 00:01:57,310 --> 00:01:58,685 - The gold plan ? - Yep. 29 00:01:58,989 --> 00:02:00,340 I'm not even on that plan. 30 00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:02,500 Well I recommend it, it's very good. 31 00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:08,406 - You have to crack this things open. - You know the whole reason we're doing 32 00:02:08,453 --> 00:02:10,343 this, is to save money. 33 00:02:11,165 --> 00:02:12,140 So, 34 00:02:12,192 --> 00:02:14,787 you just need to pick a provider, and then choose the cheapest plan. 35 00:02:16,992 --> 00:02:18,763 Well that is... 36 00:02:19,217 --> 00:02:21,354 kind of a tough assignment. 37 00:02:22,822 --> 00:02:26,497 - It's not gonna be a popular decision around the old orifice. - It's your job... so 38 00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:28,460 It's a suicide mission, you know... 39 00:02:29,846 --> 00:02:31,267 - Michael, - I, I Know 40 00:02:31,337 --> 00:02:33,122 - Maybe, I, I mean... - There... there 41 00:02:33,192 --> 00:02:34,728 You know sometimes a manager... 44 00:02:39,933 --> 00:02:42,556 - Yeah, when have you ever done that ? - I'm doing it, right now. 45 00:02:43,631 --> 00:02:44,981 To you. 46 00:02:46,912 --> 00:02:48,580 Last night on "Trading spouses"... 47 00:02:49,284 --> 00:02:51,267 - There's... have you seen it ? - No, I have a life. 48 00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:54,427 - Interesting, what's that like ? - You should try it sometime. 49 00:02:54,597 --> 00:02:55,795 Wow 50 00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:57,850 - But then who would watch my TV ? 51 00:02:57,908 --> 00:02:58,789 So I like that 52 00:02:58,895 --> 00:03:00,362 Ding Dong ! 53 00:03:05,623 --> 00:03:07,105 There's a decision that needs to be made. 54 00:03:07,139 --> 00:03:09,465 And I'm having a unbelievably busy day. 55 00:03:10,556 --> 00:03:13,221 So, I'm going to let you pick 56 00:03:13,479 --> 00:03:15,511 a healthcare plan for our office, 57 00:03:15,634 --> 00:03:17,571 and then explain it 58 00:03:17,853 --> 00:03:19,438 to your co-workers. 59 00:03:20,583 --> 00:03:22,129 - Gosh ! - Yeah ! 60 00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:25,772 That is a great offer. Thank you. 61 00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:30,779 I really think I should be concentrating on sales. 62 00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:32,380 - Really ? - Yeah. 63 00:03:33,055 --> 00:03:35,621 I just don't thing that this is the kind of task, that 64 00:03:36,209 --> 00:03:38,992 I am going to do... 65 00:03:39,089 --> 00:03:40,979 You know who would be great for this ? 66 00:03:41,114 --> 00:03:44,925 Anytime Michael asks me to do anything I just tell me that Dwight should do it. 67 00:03:45,629 --> 00:03:48,571 Yes ! I can do it ! I'm your man. 68 00:03:48,783 --> 00:03:50,725 Right now this is just a job. 69 00:03:51,079 --> 00:03:54,617 If I advance any higher in this company, then this would be my career. 70 00:03:55,053 --> 00:03:56,481 And a... 71 00:03:56,558 --> 00:03:59,008 Well if this were my career, 72 00:03:59,799 --> 00:04:01,709 I'd have to throw myself in front of a train. 73 00:04:02,269 --> 00:04:05,307 Ok first, let's go over some parameters, 74 00:04:05,430 --> 00:04:07,465 how many people can I fire ? 75 00:04:07,806 --> 00:04:10,420 None, you're picking a healthcare plan. 76 00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:14,815 Ok we'll table that for the time being. Two, I'm gonna need an office. 77 00:04:14,923 --> 00:04:16,297 I think the conference room should be fine. 78 00:04:16,413 --> 00:04:19,253 You can use the conference room as a temporary workspace. 79 00:04:19,407 --> 00:04:21,840 Yes, I have an office. 80 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:24,627 - Bigger than his ! - No, you cannot use it. 81 00:04:24,701 --> 00:04:27,759 - Ok I take it back it's a workspace. - Temporary workspace, you can use it. 82 00:04:28,945 --> 00:04:30,006 Thank you. 83 00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:34,401 If Dwight fails and that is strike too and good for me, 84 00:04:35,152 --> 00:04:37,054 for giving him a second chance. 85 00:04:37,589 --> 00:04:40,102 And if he succeeds, then, you know, 86 00:04:40,225 --> 00:04:42,634 no one would be prouder than I am. I've groomed him. 87 00:04:42,818 --> 00:04:44,703 I made him what he is today. 88 00:04:46,669 --> 00:04:49,400 Unless he fails and, 89 00:04:49,739 --> 00:04:52,263 talked about that already. 90 00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:57,672 What did I do ? I did my job. 91 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:01,314 I slashed benefits to the bone. I saved this company money. 92 00:05:01,712 --> 00:05:05,706 Was I too harsh ? Maybe. I don't believe in coddling people. 93 00:05:06,429 --> 00:05:09,282 In the wild, there is no healthcare. 94 00:05:09,548 --> 00:05:12,872 In the wild healthcare is "How, I hurt my leg... 95 00:05:13,191 --> 00:05:15,911 I can't run, a lion eats me, and I'm dead. " 96 00:05:17,059 --> 00:05:19,606 Well, I'm not dead. 97 00:05:20,416 --> 00:05:22,133 I'm the lion. 98 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,873 You're dead ! 99 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,027 There's no dental, there's no vision, 100 00:05:31,182 --> 00:05:33,381 there is a 1200 dollars deductible. 101 00:05:36,776 --> 00:05:38,069 Dundler Mifflin this is Pam. 102 00:05:38,223 --> 00:05:40,461 Pam, Michael Scott, how's tricks ? 103 00:05:41,185 --> 00:05:43,442 Where are you ? 104 00:05:43,731 --> 00:05:46,645 Oh, I'm in my office, I am swamped. 105 00:05:46,818 --> 00:05:49,249 I have work up to my ears 106 00:05:49,297 --> 00:05:53,397 and busy busy busy, can't step away, I just wanted to check in and 107 00:05:53,537 --> 00:05:56,522 see how everybody's dealing. Everybody cool out there ? 108 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:59,049 Actually, people are really unhappy 109 00:05:59,667 --> 00:06:01,480 Dwight send around this memo 110 00:06:01,538 --> 00:06:04,307 - And people are freaking out cause... - Pam, you, I'm sorry I'm sorry 111 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,718 I, I, I got to go I'm getting a call. 112 00:06:07,229 --> 00:06:09,217 No you're not. 113 00:06:10,509 --> 00:06:13,393 I have to make a call after I finish, my work 114 00:06:13,461 --> 00:06:16,181 You know what ? Don't let anybody in my office 115 00:06:16,364 --> 00:06:20,561 Under any conditions today I'm just too busy, too swamped, you know ? 116 00:06:21,641 --> 00:06:24,834 I'm unreachable. I'm incommunicado capisce ? 117 00:06:24,979 --> 00:06:26,155 - Ok - Thank you, 118 00:06:26,590 --> 00:06:29,946 God here we go again, got to go, I have to take this. 119 00:06:30,197 --> 00:06:31,683 Still no one calling. 120 00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,416 - Dwight, what is this... - Uh, knock, please. 121 00:06:38,908 --> 00:06:41,506 - Please knock, this is an office. - It says workspace. 122 00:06:41,620 --> 00:06:43,142 - Same thing. - If it's the same thing, 123 00:06:43,188 --> 00:06:45,529 then why'd you write "work space". 124 00:06:46,097 --> 00:06:49,659 Just knock, please, as a sign of respect for your superior. 125 00:06:49,726 --> 00:06:52,543 - You are not my superior. - Gee, then why do I have an office ? 126 00:06:52,649 --> 00:06:55,253 - Thought it was a workspace, Dwight. - Ok, Dwight. 127 00:06:56,170 --> 00:06:58,138 Are you really in charge of picking an healthcare plan ? 128 00:06:58,215 --> 00:06:59,739 Yes. And my decision is final. 129 00:06:59,999 --> 00:07:02,083 This is a ridiculously awful plan. 130 00:07:02,305 --> 00:07:04,408 Because you cut everything. 131 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:07,730 - Times are tough, Pam, deal with it. - You cut more than you had to, didn't you ? 132 00:07:07,740 --> 00:07:08,220 Sure. 133 00:07:08,266 --> 00:07:11,006 Then why did you do that ? You work here, don't you want good insurance ? 134 00:07:11,112 --> 00:07:13,590 Don't need it, never been sick, perfect immune system. 135 00:07:13,726 --> 00:07:16,919 Ok well if you've never been sick, then you don't have any antibodies. 136 00:07:17,035 --> 00:07:19,485 I don't need them, superior genes. 137 00:07:19,553 --> 00:07:22,369 I'm a Schrute... And superior brain power. 138 00:07:22,485 --> 00:07:25,958 Through concentration I can raise 139 00:07:27,752 --> 00:07:29,739 Why would you want to raise your cholesterol ? 140 00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:31,842 So I can lower it. 141 00:07:33,318 --> 00:07:35,840 He literally won't come out of his office. 142 00:07:36,434 --> 00:07:38,633 He's got to come out sometime. 143 00:07:40,639 --> 00:07:44,112 - To go to the bathroom. - Kevin, that's inappropriate ! 144 00:07:48,212 --> 00:07:50,102 Michael can I talk to you ? 145 00:07:50,180 --> 00:07:53,189 I would like to, but I'm really busy, rain check ? 146 00:07:54,029 --> 00:07:56,122 Michael, Michael please 147 00:07:56,604 --> 00:07:58,533 Can we talk about this memo ? 148 00:07:58,668 --> 00:08:01,331 - What ? Which memo ? - Dwight's healthcare memo 149 00:08:01,447 --> 00:08:02,990 - I told you about it. - Is it a good plan ? 150 00:08:03,096 --> 00:08:05,276 It's a great plan ! It saves the company a fortune. 151 00:08:05,430 --> 00:08:08,344 - It's like a paid decrease. - Michael, he made huge cuts. 152 00:08:08,479 --> 00:08:11,508 Cuts ? what ? Dwight did you make cuts ? 153 00:08:11,604 --> 00:08:14,672 - Yeah you said go in the... - No no no no no. You know what ? 154 00:08:15,164 --> 00:08:17,517 I said nothing specific because I was so busy. 155 00:08:17,739 --> 00:08:19,977 Why don't you go in there Dwight ? 156 00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:23,402 and find these people a plan that will work for them. Ok ? 157 00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:26,363 - I can handle it. - Ok. All right. 158 00:08:27,260 --> 00:08:30,029 We feel good ? All right, good ! 159 00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:34,746 Plus, 160 00:08:34,829 --> 00:08:37,193 There's some other good news. 161 00:08:37,624 --> 00:08:39,723 Today at the end of the day, 162 00:08:39,839 --> 00:08:42,453 I will have for all of you 163 00:08:43,639 --> 00:08:46,205 a big surprise. Ok ? 164 00:08:46,369 --> 00:08:49,340 So hang in there, and I will see you at the end of the day. 165 00:08:50,662 --> 00:08:52,128 Right ? 166 00:09:00,096 --> 00:09:01,967 - This is not good. - It's ridiculous. 167 00:09:02,479 --> 00:09:04,639 Did you talk to him ? 168 00:09:04,803 --> 00:09:05,807 What was that ? 169 00:09:05,903 --> 00:09:08,150 You let him off all over you it's just pathetic. 170 00:09:08,305 --> 00:09:10,964 - What are you guys talking about ? - Nothing Kevin. 171 00:09:11,446 --> 00:09:14,064 Do I know what the surprise is ? Hell no ! 172 00:09:14,209 --> 00:09:17,315 Doesn't matter, the point is, they're not unhappy anymore. 173 00:09:17,421 --> 00:09:20,469 They're out there thinking "Wow ! My boss really cares about me. 174 00:09:20,816 --> 00:09:23,324 He has a surprise, he's cool. 175 00:09:23,961 --> 00:09:26,546 What a great guy, I love him. 176 00:09:28,292 --> 00:09:30,221 I love him. " 177 00:09:32,247 --> 00:09:34,929 Ok everyone, gather' round. 178 00:09:37,784 --> 00:09:39,540 Step forward. 179 00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:44,440 It has been brought to my attention that some of you are unhappy with my plan, 180 00:09:44,536 --> 00:09:45,906 so what I'd like you to do, 181 00:09:46,022 --> 00:09:48,559 is to fill this out and write down any diseases that you have, 182 00:09:48,646 --> 00:09:51,231 That you might want covered and I'll see what I can do. 183 00:09:51,289 --> 00:09:54,092 Okay you know what Dwight ? We can't write our diseases down for you, 184 00:09:54,095 --> 00:09:55,881 - because that's confidential. - Ok, 185 00:09:56,016 --> 00:09:58,389 well I didn't say to write your name down, did I ? 186 00:09:58,543 --> 00:10:00,356 Fill that out, leave it anonymous. 187 00:10:00,443 --> 00:10:02,932 Or don't write any disease down at all, and they won't be covered. 188 00:10:03,086 --> 00:10:05,151 Sound fair ? Good. All right, I'll be in my office. 189 00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:07,254 Workspace. 190 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:10,389 You know what ? Come with me. 191 00:10:10,495 --> 00:10:12,463 We are going on a little mission. 192 00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:14,585 "Operation surprise. " 193 00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:18,279 Where are you going ? 194 00:10:18,790 --> 00:10:21,028 Headed out. Part of my busy day. 195 00:10:21,096 --> 00:10:23,403 You know, meetings. 196 00:10:26,016 --> 00:10:27,540 Couldn't find the knock. 197 00:10:29,990 --> 00:10:33,347 So basically, I want to do something nice for my employees. 198 00:10:33,858 --> 00:10:36,019 Atlantic City. Ok ? 199 00:10:36,212 --> 00:10:38,855 They have this thing where they send a bus, 200 00:10:39,019 --> 00:10:40,832 Right for free, picks everybody up, 201 00:10:40,938 --> 00:10:43,852 and head down there, get to the hotel, the room is count. 202 00:10:44,054 --> 00:10:46,427 They give you a big pile of chips, and your food. 203 00:10:46,581 --> 00:10:50,840 Everything just kind of a all inclusive free kind of weekend. 204 00:10:51,016 --> 00:10:52,736 I don't know of anything like that. 205 00:10:53,016 --> 00:10:56,594 But, you know what you might want to do is just call the casino directly, 206 00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:58,967 - Maybe. - Yep yep, yep. 207 00:11:00,057 --> 00:11:02,122 I did, so. 208 00:11:13,813 --> 00:11:15,511 Wait what are you writing ? 209 00:11:15,607 --> 00:11:17,922 Don't write Ebola, or mad cow disease. 210 00:11:18,376 --> 00:11:20,247 All right ? 211 00:11:20,401 --> 00:11:22,581 Cause I'm suffering from both of them. 212 00:11:23,488 --> 00:11:25,572 - I'm inventing new diseases. - Oh great. 213 00:11:25,630 --> 00:11:28,697 So let's say that my teeth turn to liquid 214 00:11:28,987 --> 00:11:31,302 And then, they drip down the back of my throat. 215 00:11:31,418 --> 00:11:32,594 What would you call that ? 216 00:11:32,710 --> 00:11:34,389 I thought you said you were inventing diseases ? 217 00:11:34,524 --> 00:11:36,974 That's spontaneous "dentohydroplosion" 218 00:11:37,919 --> 00:11:39,675 - Nice. - Thank you. 219 00:11:39,762 --> 00:11:42,154 Calling to ask you a little favor Rooney my friend. 220 00:11:43,321 --> 00:11:46,871 I'm trying to give the troops around here a little bit of a boost 221 00:11:46,987 --> 00:11:48,684 And I was thinking that 222 00:11:48,781 --> 00:11:52,408 maybe we could take them down to take a spin on your big ride. 223 00:11:53,874 --> 00:11:56,826 You mean the elevator that takes you down in the mine shaft ? 224 00:11:56,951 --> 00:11:58,572 It's not really a ride. 225 00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:01,331 It says here that it's a... 226 00:12:01,794 --> 00:12:03,713 300 foot drop. 227 00:12:04,003 --> 00:12:07,167 Well that goes 300 feet in the earth but it moves really slowly. 228 00:12:08,749 --> 00:12:10,697 So it's not a free fall ? 229 00:12:10,842 --> 00:12:13,215 It's a industrial coal elevator. 230 00:12:15,279 --> 00:12:17,729 All right. Once you get down into the mine, 231 00:12:18,897 --> 00:12:21,559 what, you got laser tag or something ? 232 00:12:21,665 --> 00:12:24,887 OK ok so I don't know what the surprise is, am I worried ? 233 00:12:25,032 --> 00:12:27,655 Nooo. No way. You see I thrive on this. 234 00:12:28,012 --> 00:12:31,331 This is my world, this is improv, this it "whose line is it anyway". 235 00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:37,383 Damn it ! damn it ! Jim ! 236 00:12:37,456 --> 00:12:39,965 All right, who did this ? 237 00:12:40,089 --> 00:12:42,327 I'm not mad, I just want to know who did it, so I can punish them. 238 00:12:42,405 --> 00:12:43,678 What are you talking about ? 239 00:12:44,044 --> 00:12:47,594 "Someone", forged medical information, and that is felony. 240 00:12:47,855 --> 00:12:50,990 Ok "wow", cause that is a pretty intense accusation. 241 00:12:51,057 --> 00:12:53,527 How do you know that they're fake ? 242 00:12:53,778 --> 00:12:55,784 Uh, Leprosy ? 243 00:12:56,565 --> 00:12:58,765 Flesh eating bacteria. 244 00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:01,784 Hot dog fingers. 245 00:13:02,729 --> 00:13:06,028 Government created killer nano robot infection 246 00:13:08,015 --> 00:13:09,308 - You did this didn't you ? - Absolutely not. 247 00:13:09,385 --> 00:13:10,369 - Yes you did. - No I didn't. 248 00:13:10,427 --> 00:13:12,241 I know it was you. Ok fine, you know what ? 249 00:13:12,289 --> 00:13:14,276 I'm gonna have to interview each and everyone of you 250 00:13:14,507 --> 00:13:17,170 Until the perpetrator makes him or herself known. 251 00:13:17,315 --> 00:13:21,028 And until that time, there will be no healthcare coverage for anyone. 252 00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:29,170 - Killer Nano Robots ? - It's an epidemic. 253 00:13:31,406 --> 00:13:35,517 The problem Jim, is that people who are really suffering 254 00:13:35,686 --> 00:13:38,821 from a medical condition, won't receive the care they need, 255 00:13:38,930 --> 00:13:43,415 because someone in this office has coming up with all those ridiculous stuff 256 00:13:45,236 --> 00:13:47,961 - "Count Choculitis. ". - Sounds tough. 257 00:13:48,106 --> 00:13:50,481 Why did you write that down Jim ? 258 00:13:50,758 --> 00:13:52,881 - Is it because you know I love Count Chocula ? - Do you ? 259 00:13:54,478 --> 00:13:57,160 I think you need to confess the fact. 260 00:13:57,428 --> 00:13:58,765 - Yeah. - What are you doing ? 261 00:13:58,934 --> 00:14:00,501 - What ? - Those are my keys. 262 00:14:00,634 --> 00:14:02,901 - Good luck. - Jim ! Damn it ! 263 00:14:03,112 --> 00:14:06,868 No ! Jim let me out. Jim, let... 264 00:14:07,230 --> 00:14:10,067 The light green is a green. 265 00:14:16,357 --> 00:14:17,785 - Jim Halpert. - Let me out. 266 00:14:17,901 --> 00:14:19,772 - Who is this ? - Let me out or you're fired. 267 00:14:19,907 --> 00:14:22,868 - No, you can't fire me. - Yes I can, I'm manager for the day. 268 00:14:23,003 --> 00:14:24,277 Clean out your desk. 269 00:14:24,315 --> 00:14:26,843 Ok, can you hold on one second, I'm getting a bip. 270 00:14:29,843 --> 00:14:31,772 - Jim Halpert. - Hey Jim, it's Pam. 271 00:14:31,839 --> 00:14:34,251 Hey Pam ! How are you ? 272 00:14:34,319 --> 00:14:35,669 - Jim open the door ! - Good. How are you ? 273 00:14:35,727 --> 00:14:37,000 - I'm doing ok, - Busy ? 274 00:14:37,058 --> 00:14:38,939 - Getting excited for the week end now. - Yeah. 275 00:14:38,997 --> 00:14:41,505 - Yeah, what are you up to ? - I'm not bothering you am I ? 276 00:14:41,650 --> 00:14:43,519 - No not all. - You don't have anything you're doing. 277 00:14:43,596 --> 00:14:45,062 - I have nothing to do. - Oh great. 278 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:47,937 Yeah no, this week end nothing I'm not really doing anything. 279 00:14:48,062 --> 00:14:50,262 - Might go to the mall. - The mall ? 280 00:14:50,426 --> 00:14:53,514 - I need new shoes. - How interesting, what kind of shoes ? 281 00:14:54,446 --> 00:14:56,151 - Hello ? - Hello. 282 00:14:56,310 --> 00:14:59,416 This is Dwight Schrute calling for Jan Levinson-Gould. 283 00:14:59,869 --> 00:15:01,567 This is Jan. 284 00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:04,972 Hi, Dwight Schrute calling, acting manager Scranton branch, 285 00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:08,107 Listen I need your permission to fire Jim Halpert. 286 00:15:08,599 --> 00:15:10,876 - Who is this ? - Dwight Schrute. 287 00:15:11,802 --> 00:15:13,635 - From sales ? - Well. 288 00:15:13,721 --> 00:15:17,271 - Where is Michael Scott ? - He is not here right now. 289 00:15:17,348 --> 00:15:20,030 He put me in charge of the office. 290 00:15:20,396 --> 00:15:23,888 Dwight, listen to me very carefully, you are not a manager of anything. 291 00:15:24,043 --> 00:15:27,342 - Understand ? - That's not entirely true, 292 00:15:27,824 --> 00:15:30,467 Because he put me in charge of picking a healthcare plan. 293 00:15:31,162 --> 00:15:32,512 - Really ? - Yeah. 294 00:15:32,609 --> 00:15:33,342 Ok. 295 00:15:33,409 --> 00:15:35,705 when Michael gets back, you tell him to call me immediately. 296 00:15:35,763 --> 00:15:37,056 - Call you immediately, good. - Yes. 297 00:15:37,461 --> 00:15:39,872 Listen, since I have you on the phone, 298 00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:43,577 - Can I fire Jim ? - No. 299 00:15:43,769 --> 00:15:45,853 Please don't use my cell phone ever again. 300 00:15:45,930 --> 00:15:47,589 This is your cell, I thought this was your off... 301 00:15:55,325 --> 00:15:58,268 Everybody ice cream sandwiches. 302 00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:01,856 There you go take one take one it's all good. 303 00:16:01,952 --> 00:16:03,920 Phyllis, safe pass. 304 00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:07,026 I see Angela right, Angela ! 305 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,155 Hey, temp, why don't you take two. 306 00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:14,946 Because you don't get healthcare, and faster metabolism. 307 00:16:15,168 --> 00:16:17,869 Did you get the kind with the cookies, instead of the ? 308 00:16:17,985 --> 00:16:20,319 Why don't you just eat it ? Ok. 309 00:16:20,406 --> 00:16:23,271 Here you go Stanley the "manly" ! 310 00:16:23,676 --> 00:16:24,814 - Thanks. - There you go. 311 00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:26,531 This isn't the big surprise is it ? 312 00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:29,039 Because we've been having a pretty horrible day. 313 00:16:29,174 --> 00:16:31,432 Nope, nope. 314 00:16:31,518 --> 00:16:32,985 This isn't the surprise. 315 00:16:33,062 --> 00:16:36,149 It's surprising, because you didn't expect it. 316 00:16:36,698 --> 00:16:39,505 But you'll, you'll know it when you see it. 317 00:16:41,145 --> 00:16:43,441 Michael, Michael ! 318 00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:58,456 I tried being rational. Ok, and what happened ? 319 00:16:58,591 --> 00:17:01,334 The employees went crazy, I got no hope from corporate, 320 00:17:01,530 --> 00:17:03,308 so that leaves me with no options. 321 00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:05,810 I'm now gonna read aloud your submitted medical conditions. 322 00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:09,322 When you hear yours read, please raise your hand, indicate that it is real 323 00:17:09,533 --> 00:17:12,457 If you do not raise your hand, it will not be covered. 324 00:17:12,577 --> 00:17:15,110 - What about confidentiality ? - You know what ? 325 00:17:15,289 --> 00:17:19,449 You have forfeited that privilege. I have tried to treat you all as adults. 326 00:17:19,691 --> 00:17:22,494 But obviously, I'm the only adult here. 327 00:17:22,674 --> 00:17:26,412 Number one, inverted penis. 328 00:17:30,692 --> 00:17:35,455 Could you mean vagina ? Because if you do I want that covered. 329 00:17:35,681 --> 00:17:38,408 I thought your vagina was removed during you hysterectomy. 330 00:17:38,559 --> 00:17:43,171 A uterus is different from a vagina. I still have a vagina. 331 00:17:57,554 --> 00:18:01,661 Ok great. "Germatitus". Thank you Angela, 332 00:18:01,811 --> 00:18:07,651 I'll make sure that's covered. Ok now, who wrote this, this hysterical one ? 333 00:18:08,066 --> 00:18:10,704 - Anal fissures. - That's a real thing. 334 00:18:10,910 --> 00:18:14,076 Yeah but no one here has it. 335 00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:18,348 Someone has it. 336 00:18:29,257 --> 00:18:32,092 - Do you think we should go. - I don't know, Kevin this is important. 337 00:18:32,102 --> 00:18:33,385 I don't want futileness. 338 00:18:33,810 --> 00:18:36,884 - What is he doing ? - I don't know. 339 00:18:46,229 --> 00:18:47,753 Well ? 340 00:18:47,908 --> 00:18:49,432 Well, what ? 341 00:18:49,557 --> 00:18:52,297 - You could be referring to anything. - Ok, 342 00:18:52,586 --> 00:18:53,782 The healthcare plan. 343 00:18:53,830 --> 00:18:56,396 Why did you put Dwight in charge of that, he did an horrible job. 344 00:18:56,715 --> 00:18:58,605 Dwight ? 345 00:18:58,779 --> 00:19:01,162 - Did you raise benefits ? - I most certainly did not. 346 00:19:01,914 --> 00:19:04,017 come on ! That's horrible ! 347 00:19:05,493 --> 00:19:07,847 Thanks Dwight for a crappy plan. 348 00:19:09,033 --> 00:19:10,345 Damn. 349 00:19:11,937 --> 00:19:14,406 I wish I had time to change it, but... 350 00:19:14,724 --> 00:19:18,014 Jan needs it by five and... What time is it ? What time is it ? 351 00:19:18,506 --> 00:19:21,014 It's after five. 352 00:19:21,390 --> 00:19:23,782 It's awful. 353 00:19:23,879 --> 00:19:26,281 So well, ok. 354 00:19:26,493 --> 00:19:29,117 See you guys on Monday. 355 00:19:29,879 --> 00:19:31,972 What about the surprise ? 356 00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,470 Yes exactly. 357 00:19:34,586 --> 00:19:37,538 Thank you Angela for reminding me. 358 00:19:38,454 --> 00:19:40,027 Terrific. 359 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,284 Before I tell everybody what the big surprise is, 360 00:19:42,756 --> 00:19:46,094 would you like to tell me, what you think the big surprise is ? 361 00:19:47,223 --> 00:19:49,422 We all think you don't have a surprise. 362 00:19:49,499 --> 00:19:53,107 All right, I have some news for you. There is a big surprise. 363 00:19:54,496 --> 00:19:57,322 And... here it is, here we go... 364 00:19:57,564 --> 00:19:59,184 And 365 00:19:59,338 --> 00:20:02,174 the big surprise is... 366 00:20:04,692 --> 00:20:06,081 Drum roll. 367 00:20:26,232 --> 00:20:29,917 When I am backed into a corner, that is when I come alive. 368 00:20:30,689 --> 00:20:33,544 See I learned improv from the greats, like... 369 00:20:34,528 --> 00:20:36,457 Drew Carey and Ryan Styles. 370 00:20:49,229 --> 00:20:52,258 Robin Williams, oh man, would I love to go head to head with him. 371 00:20:53,724 --> 00:20:56,329 That would be exciting ! "Hi, I'm Mork from Ork. " 372 00:20:56,628 --> 00:20:59,136 "Well I'm Bork for Smork". 373 00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:02,055 "anounanouzoubliblublu" 374 00:21:29,866 --> 00:21:32,009 Jan wants you to call her.