1 00:00:11,380 --> 00:00:13,349 Describe it to me again. 2 00:00:13,416 --> 00:00:15,317 It's the, um, you know... 3 00:00:15,384 --> 00:00:16,750 It's the big, chunky chain 4 00:00:16,819 --> 00:00:18,913 that the mayor wears on special occasions. 5 00:00:18,988 --> 00:00:21,287 It lets everyone know he's the mayor. 6 00:00:21,357 --> 00:00:23,758 - And this is where he lost it? - So he says. 7 00:00:23,826 --> 00:00:26,455 Why would he wear it here? 8 00:00:26,529 --> 00:00:28,794 Your guess is as good as mine. 9 00:00:28,865 --> 00:00:31,664 It's probably best not to think too much about it. 10 00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:29,926 Do you think that's what the mayor was doing? 11 00:01:29,992 --> 00:01:31,654 Which one? 12 00:01:33,863 --> 00:01:36,059 That one. 13 00:01:36,132 --> 00:01:37,725 Possibly. 14 00:01:38,935 --> 00:01:42,997 Maybe not exactly that, but certainly along those lines. 15 00:01:43,072 --> 00:01:46,304 Do you think he was wearing his chain when he was doing it? 16 00:01:46,375 --> 00:01:47,968 I suppose so. 17 00:01:49,078 --> 00:01:50,569 What for? 18 00:01:50,646 --> 00:01:52,808 Probably gives him a sense of power. 19 00:01:56,953 --> 00:01:59,650 - Can we go home now? - Yeah. 20 00:02:00,756 --> 00:02:04,090 Don't want to stick around here any longer than we have to. 21 00:02:13,869 --> 00:02:16,304 She's gonna catch her death. 22 00:02:25,514 --> 00:02:30,646 ♪ Will you search through the lonely earth for me ♪ 23 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:35,522 ♪ Climb through the briar and bramble? ♪ 24 00:02:35,591 --> 00:02:40,791 ♪ I'll be your treasure ♪ 25 00:02:40,863 --> 00:02:45,426 ♪ I'm waiting for you ♪ 26 00:02:45,501 --> 00:02:49,165 ♪ I'm waiting for you ♪ 27 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:25,674 Oh, Lance, hello. 28 00:03:25,741 --> 00:03:27,676 Sophie. 29 00:03:27,743 --> 00:03:29,109 Hello. 30 00:03:29,178 --> 00:03:31,511 - What are you up to? - I was just, uh... 31 00:03:31,580 --> 00:03:33,549 Oh, I was just, um... 32 00:03:34,984 --> 00:03:36,452 picking up a few things. 33 00:03:36,519 --> 00:03:37,885 Nice flowers. 34 00:03:37,953 --> 00:03:41,583 Yeah, yeah. Brighten the place up a bit. 35 00:03:41,657 --> 00:03:43,387 What kind of... 36 00:03:43,459 --> 00:03:44,518 Freesias, I think. 37 00:03:44,593 --> 00:03:46,585 And chocolates? 38 00:03:46,662 --> 00:03:50,064 Yeah. Give myself a little treat. 39 00:03:50,132 --> 00:03:51,566 Why not? 40 00:03:51,634 --> 00:03:53,694 Exactly. 41 00:03:57,073 --> 00:03:58,939 Can you smell the early '90s? 42 00:04:00,876 --> 00:04:02,105 No. 43 00:04:03,479 --> 00:04:06,176 Anyway, good to see you. 44 00:04:06,248 --> 00:04:07,272 Yeah, you too. 45 00:04:09,185 --> 00:04:11,120 Enjoy the chocolates. 46 00:04:13,289 --> 00:04:14,222 Sorry? 47 00:04:14,290 --> 00:04:15,815 Chocolates? 48 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,459 Yeah. Yeah. 49 00:04:33,275 --> 00:04:36,507 Your phone's ringing. 50 00:04:36,579 --> 00:04:38,138 It's Sophie. 51 00:04:38,214 --> 00:04:41,309 Can you answer it? I'm up to my elbows. 52 00:04:41,383 --> 00:04:43,784 Hi, Sophie. It's Becky. 53 00:04:43,853 --> 00:04:46,288 Yes, he's changing a nappy. 54 00:04:46,355 --> 00:04:47,687 All right. 55 00:04:49,525 --> 00:04:50,857 Hang on. 56 00:04:50,926 --> 00:04:53,054 Sophie's just bumped into Lance, 57 00:04:53,129 --> 00:04:55,598 and she thinks something's about to go down. 58 00:04:55,664 --> 00:04:57,929 - Like what? - Like what? 59 00:05:00,669 --> 00:05:02,262 She saw him in the supermarket 60 00:05:02,338 --> 00:05:04,671 buying all the materials required 61 00:05:04,740 --> 00:05:07,175 to make a romantic evening. 62 00:05:07,243 --> 00:05:09,287 Oh, God, he must have got the instructions off the Internet. 63 00:05:09,311 --> 00:05:11,246 I got to wash my hands. What was he buying? 64 00:05:11,313 --> 00:05:14,147 What was he buying? 65 00:05:14,216 --> 00:05:16,276 Flowers, chocolates, aftershave. 66 00:05:16,352 --> 00:05:17,945 What kind? 67 00:05:18,020 --> 00:05:20,455 Freesias, Ferrero Rocher, Fahrenheit. 68 00:05:20,523 --> 00:05:22,014 Christ. 69 00:05:22,091 --> 00:05:23,389 Hello? 70 00:05:23,459 --> 00:05:25,951 You still got the suspect in your sights? 71 00:05:26,028 --> 00:05:28,725 All right, follow at a discreet distance and report back. 72 00:05:28,797 --> 00:05:32,359 Oh, and Sophie? Be safe. 73 00:05:32,434 --> 00:05:34,300 You are a bunch of kids. 74 00:05:34,370 --> 00:05:35,547 We're just concerned about him. 75 00:05:35,571 --> 00:05:37,048 We don't want him to make a fool of himself. 76 00:05:37,072 --> 00:05:40,338 Mm, because you're an expert in that field? 77 00:05:41,677 --> 00:05:44,545 Listen, tomorrow night, shall we go out? 78 00:05:44,613 --> 00:05:45,546 Just the two of us. 79 00:05:45,614 --> 00:05:47,310 Yeah, okay. What's brought this on? 80 00:05:47,383 --> 00:05:49,045 Nothing's brought this on. 81 00:05:49,118 --> 00:05:50,984 I'm only suggesting going to a restaurant. 82 00:05:51,053 --> 00:05:53,454 Cool. Who'll babysit? 83 00:05:53,522 --> 00:05:55,514 - Well, let's face it. - Your mum. 84 00:05:55,591 --> 00:05:56,354 She's free. 85 00:05:56,425 --> 00:05:58,189 Course she is. She doesn't have any friends. 86 00:05:58,260 --> 00:06:00,320 I meant she doesn't cost anything. 87 00:06:00,396 --> 00:06:02,763 Oh, yeah, sorry. 88 00:06:02,831 --> 00:06:04,766 She is his grandmother. 89 00:06:04,833 --> 00:06:07,200 I just wish we didn't have to rely on her so much. 90 00:06:07,269 --> 00:06:11,604 Well, I think I've got a plan to deal with her. 91 00:06:11,674 --> 00:06:14,234 Murder? Really? Okay. 92 00:06:14,310 --> 00:06:15,505 Not murder. 93 00:06:15,578 --> 00:06:17,376 I know someone. I can make a phone call. 94 00:06:17,446 --> 00:06:20,006 Not murder. 95 00:07:08,430 --> 00:07:09,864 Oh, look, it's Forrest Gump. 96 00:07:09,932 --> 00:07:12,231 Oh, yeah. 97 00:07:38,827 --> 00:07:39,624 Hello. 98 00:07:39,695 --> 00:07:41,664 Uh, we were just looking for something. 99 00:07:41,730 --> 00:07:43,631 Yeah, I-I... I lost something. 100 00:07:43,699 --> 00:07:45,219 Don't think we'll ever find it. Do you? 101 00:07:45,267 --> 00:07:46,963 No, no, I don't. 102 00:07:47,036 --> 00:07:49,801 - Was it valuable? - What? 103 00:07:49,872 --> 00:07:51,272 The thing you lost. 104 00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:52,968 N-No. V-Very cheap. 105 00:07:53,042 --> 00:07:54,552 Oh, well, we should just call it a day. 106 00:07:54,576 --> 00:07:56,442 I think we're just gonna call it a day. 107 00:08:02,851 --> 00:08:04,479 Who was that? 108 00:08:04,553 --> 00:08:07,785 Uh, I don't know. But they were spying on you. 109 00:08:09,391 --> 00:08:11,656 Oh. Hello. 110 00:08:11,727 --> 00:08:13,958 Hello. 111 00:08:14,029 --> 00:08:14,962 How are you? 112 00:08:15,030 --> 00:08:17,090 Yeah, not bad. Good. 113 00:08:17,166 --> 00:08:18,166 Yourself? 114 00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:21,667 Good. 115 00:08:25,474 --> 00:08:27,807 - Should we... - Yeah, okay. 116 00:08:49,031 --> 00:08:50,075 It's quite reasonable. 117 00:08:50,099 --> 00:08:51,226 No, i-it's horrible. 118 00:08:51,300 --> 00:08:53,178 It's not horrible. It can be... Imagine... 119 00:08:53,202 --> 00:08:54,602 It looks like a white hearse. 120 00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:59,705 About 22, 23. Blond. 121 00:08:59,775 --> 00:09:01,437 Yeah, that's her. Did he see you? 122 00:09:01,510 --> 00:09:03,741 No, but she did. I'm shit at spying. 123 00:09:03,812 --> 00:09:05,474 Well, that's already been established. 124 00:09:05,547 --> 00:09:07,482 But he dumped the chocolates and the flowers? 125 00:09:07,549 --> 00:09:11,782 Yep. But the smell of aftershave was very much still in the air. 126 00:09:11,854 --> 00:09:13,823 It's amazing, isn't it? 127 00:09:13,889 --> 00:09:17,951 All the information at our fingertips these days. 128 00:09:18,026 --> 00:09:20,518 Oh, it certainly is, Sheila. 129 00:09:20,596 --> 00:09:23,794 The things Terry gets up to on his computer. 130 00:09:23,866 --> 00:09:27,564 Do you know where he sent an e-mail last week? 131 00:09:27,636 --> 00:09:28,399 Where? 132 00:09:28,470 --> 00:09:30,132 New Zealand. 133 00:09:30,205 --> 00:09:31,264 Yeah? 134 00:09:31,340 --> 00:09:32,603 Terry! 135 00:09:32,674 --> 00:09:35,200 Please, Terry. Hugh's cousin's a mechanic. 136 00:09:35,277 --> 00:09:36,711 - No. - Oh... 137 00:09:36,779 --> 00:09:41,342 Terry, tell them where you sent an e-mail last week. 138 00:09:41,417 --> 00:09:42,441 New Zealand. 139 00:09:42,518 --> 00:09:43,713 Told you. 140 00:09:43,786 --> 00:09:45,084 Yeah. Easy, really. 141 00:09:45,154 --> 00:09:46,349 Just a click of a button. 142 00:09:46,422 --> 00:09:49,449 Friends that we met in the Peak District on holiday. 143 00:09:49,525 --> 00:09:51,721 Rory and Simone. 144 00:09:51,794 --> 00:09:54,559 - And have you heard back? - Not yet. 145 00:09:55,831 --> 00:09:58,665 So let us show you what we've turned up. 146 00:10:02,237 --> 00:10:05,435 Sorry I'm late. 147 00:10:06,508 --> 00:10:09,672 Had to, uh, do something. 148 00:10:11,380 --> 00:10:12,473 You smell nice. 149 00:10:12,548 --> 00:10:14,449 Okay, so we're pretty sure 150 00:10:14,516 --> 00:10:17,315 that this is the same view of the round tower 151 00:10:17,386 --> 00:10:20,481 because of this window here, 152 00:10:20,556 --> 00:10:23,116 and the photograph would have been taken 'round about here, 153 00:10:23,192 --> 00:10:24,626 looking in this direction, 154 00:10:24,693 --> 00:10:26,571 pretty much where we parked the cars the other day. 155 00:10:26,595 --> 00:10:29,087 Well, that's just farm. That's actually on our permission. 156 00:10:29,164 --> 00:10:30,308 We haven't got to that field yet, 157 00:10:30,332 --> 00:10:31,576 but it's definitely on the same farm. 158 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:35,901 No. No, you're in the wrong place. 159 00:10:35,971 --> 00:10:37,963 No, we're not. What do you mean? 160 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:39,551 No, you're on the wrong side of the church. 161 00:10:39,575 --> 00:10:40,770 How do you know? 162 00:10:40,843 --> 00:10:42,641 Well, look at the motorbike. 163 00:10:42,711 --> 00:10:45,374 Numbers on the plate, back to front. 164 00:10:45,447 --> 00:10:48,007 Image has been reversed. 165 00:10:49,585 --> 00:10:51,451 Good God, you're right. 166 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:52,818 Huh. 167 00:10:52,888 --> 00:10:55,357 Window should be on the other side of the tower. 168 00:10:55,424 --> 00:10:56,858 Need to be here. 169 00:10:56,925 --> 00:10:59,827 Unfortunately we don't have permission 170 00:10:59,895 --> 00:11:01,124 to detect in that field. 171 00:11:01,196 --> 00:11:03,290 - Oh, dear. - What? 172 00:11:03,365 --> 00:11:06,130 Russell, did you ever get a chance 173 00:11:06,201 --> 00:11:08,864 to, uh, look for the mayor's chain of office? 174 00:11:08,937 --> 00:11:10,872 We tried, but we couldn't stomach it. 175 00:11:10,939 --> 00:11:12,168 It's horrible up there. 176 00:11:12,241 --> 00:11:14,586 Well, I think you're gonna have to find the courage to go back, 177 00:11:14,610 --> 00:11:15,954 because unless I'm very much mistaken, 178 00:11:15,978 --> 00:11:20,848 this land belongs to none other than the mayor himself. 179 00:11:20,916 --> 00:11:26,219 So, Russell, Hugh, your mission is to find the chain, 180 00:11:26,288 --> 00:11:30,316 return it, and in lieu of the aforepromised donation, 181 00:11:30,392 --> 00:11:32,054 see if you can persuade the mayor 182 00:11:32,127 --> 00:11:33,720 to let us detect on his farm. 183 00:11:33,795 --> 00:11:36,788 Do we have to? It is putrid up there. 184 00:11:36,865 --> 00:11:38,390 Hugh saw some things up there 185 00:11:38,467 --> 00:11:40,663 that such young eyes should never have to witness. 186 00:11:40,736 --> 00:11:42,261 He hasn't spoken about it since. 187 00:11:42,337 --> 00:11:44,329 Oh, come on, man up, Russell. 188 00:11:44,406 --> 00:11:45,406 You go! 189 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:46,999 Wouldn't be seen dead in those woods. 190 00:11:47,075 --> 00:11:50,637 Exactly! At least not until you were properly decomposed. 191 00:11:50,712 --> 00:11:51,611 Russ! 192 00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:52,875 I wouldn't be surprised 193 00:11:52,948 --> 00:11:55,747 if both Hugh and me have caught an infection. 194 00:11:55,817 --> 00:11:57,683 Well, wear protective clothing. 195 00:11:57,753 --> 00:12:00,746 Come on, chaps. Steel yourselves! 196 00:12:00,822 --> 00:12:02,051 This one's for the club. 197 00:12:02,124 --> 00:12:06,459 I mean, you could even pop 'round there now. 198 00:12:08,997 --> 00:12:10,522 We'll go in the morning. 199 00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:11,726 Oh. 200 00:12:15,404 --> 00:12:18,806 What, where are all the cars go and park up after dark, 201 00:12:18,874 --> 00:12:19,874 and they go... 202 00:12:21,009 --> 00:12:22,477 Exactly. 203 00:12:22,544 --> 00:12:24,775 Well, what was the mayor doing up there 204 00:12:24,846 --> 00:12:25,905 in his chains of office? 205 00:12:25,981 --> 00:12:28,450 Well, maybe that's how he gets his kicks. 206 00:12:28,517 --> 00:12:30,782 Takes all sorts. 207 00:12:30,852 --> 00:12:32,286 Terry likes to wear his... 208 00:12:32,354 --> 00:12:35,449 Lance doesn't need to... Nobody needs to... 209 00:12:35,524 --> 00:12:37,254 Ah, here we are! 210 00:12:37,326 --> 00:12:38,726 I'll pay for these. 211 00:12:38,794 --> 00:12:41,127 Now, so we got a J.D. and C, 212 00:12:41,196 --> 00:12:42,391 G and slimline T, 213 00:12:42,464 --> 00:12:45,559 three pints of numbers, and a Dubonnet and lemonade. 214 00:12:47,769 --> 00:12:49,294 - How much is that? - £24.50. 215 00:12:49,371 --> 00:12:51,397 You can keep that. Cheers. 216 00:12:54,009 --> 00:12:55,809 So, Sheila, do you get out there in the fields 217 00:12:55,877 --> 00:12:56,936 with a metal detector? 218 00:12:57,012 --> 00:12:58,913 Oh, gosh, no, Peter. 219 00:12:58,981 --> 00:13:02,247 I couldn't think of anything more tedious. 220 00:13:05,887 --> 00:13:07,549 Even so, you have a great percentage 221 00:13:07,623 --> 00:13:08,750 of female club members. 222 00:13:08,824 --> 00:13:12,056 Well, I should say we've probably got above average. 223 00:13:12,127 --> 00:13:15,291 And we also got two lesbians and an Asian. 224 00:13:15,364 --> 00:13:17,162 Very proud. 225 00:13:17,232 --> 00:13:19,792 Louise and Varde are also women, Terry. 226 00:13:19,868 --> 00:13:21,928 They're not just lesbians. 227 00:13:22,004 --> 00:13:23,244 Yeah, but you know what I mean. 228 00:13:23,305 --> 00:13:24,864 We've got all the minorities covered. 229 00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:27,307 Are women a minority? 230 00:13:27,376 --> 00:13:29,572 Well, you know what I mean. 231 00:13:29,645 --> 00:13:32,114 I don't know if we do, Terry. 232 00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:36,880 Oh, God, it's a minefield. I'm just gonna shut up. 233 00:13:36,952 --> 00:13:38,887 Hey, look, it's these guys. 234 00:13:38,954 --> 00:13:40,582 Oh, shit. 235 00:13:42,057 --> 00:13:44,856 Ah. Evening, ladies. 236 00:13:44,926 --> 00:13:47,794 Ha. Yes, your catchphrase. 237 00:13:47,863 --> 00:13:49,240 It's really good. It's very amusing. 238 00:13:49,264 --> 00:13:51,927 Here they are... The Dirt Sharks. 239 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,798 - The what? - You heard me. 240 00:13:53,869 --> 00:13:55,497 Yes, we have re-formed. 241 00:13:55,570 --> 00:13:58,233 We are now known as the Dirt Sharks. 242 00:13:58,306 --> 00:13:59,365 Yuck. 243 00:13:59,441 --> 00:14:02,741 Don't know why everyone has such a problem with that name. 244 00:14:02,811 --> 00:14:06,407 It was unanimously chosen from a very attractive short list. 245 00:14:06,481 --> 00:14:08,382 Mm. What were some of the others? 246 00:14:08,450 --> 00:14:09,645 Dirt Surfers. 247 00:14:13,655 --> 00:14:14,918 It's Peter, isn't it? 248 00:14:14,990 --> 00:14:16,458 That's right. 249 00:14:16,525 --> 00:14:20,724 We wondered if we might have a word with you about your quest. 250 00:14:20,796 --> 00:14:22,025 Plane crash? 251 00:14:22,097 --> 00:14:24,589 - Certainly. - In private, please. 252 00:14:27,836 --> 00:14:30,328 These guys are all helping to find the plane. 253 00:14:30,405 --> 00:14:32,431 Any information you have is very welcome, 254 00:14:32,507 --> 00:14:34,533 and we'd all like to hear. 255 00:14:35,944 --> 00:14:38,038 You do realize that you will have to have a license 256 00:14:38,113 --> 00:14:39,979 from the Ministry of Defence to dig the site, 257 00:14:40,048 --> 00:14:41,516 even if you do find it, don't you? 258 00:14:41,583 --> 00:14:43,848 It's all in hand. Thank you. 259 00:14:43,919 --> 00:14:47,447 And you'll have to have a finds liaison officer present 260 00:14:47,522 --> 00:14:49,787 to record any items of value. 261 00:14:49,858 --> 00:14:52,692 Well, we're not expecting to find any items of value. 262 00:14:52,761 --> 00:14:54,423 - Oh, aren't you? - No. 263 00:14:54,496 --> 00:14:55,794 What are you getting at? 264 00:14:55,864 --> 00:15:00,165 According to the Protection of Military Remains Act 1986, 265 00:15:00,235 --> 00:15:01,863 any crash site suspected of having... 266 00:15:01,937 --> 00:15:03,667 Everything is done by the book. 267 00:15:03,739 --> 00:15:04,900 You don't need to worry. 268 00:15:07,209 --> 00:15:08,541 Thank you for your help. 269 00:15:08,610 --> 00:15:09,737 Good night. 270 00:15:09,811 --> 00:15:12,280 Night. 271 00:15:15,617 --> 00:15:17,381 Wankers. 272 00:15:17,452 --> 00:15:19,944 Those two give me the willies. 273 00:15:20,021 --> 00:15:21,114 Rival club? 274 00:15:21,189 --> 00:15:22,919 Sophie used to spy for them. 275 00:15:22,991 --> 00:15:24,926 Really? You didn't tell me about that. 276 00:15:24,993 --> 00:15:26,928 Yes, and they won't let me forget it. 277 00:15:26,995 --> 00:15:30,295 Their methods are unsound. 278 00:15:30,365 --> 00:15:31,958 Nighthawks. 279 00:15:32,033 --> 00:15:33,501 You were a nighthawk? 280 00:15:33,568 --> 00:15:36,094 No, I was duped. 281 00:15:36,171 --> 00:15:38,106 We rescued her from the dark side. 282 00:15:38,173 --> 00:15:39,732 That's hilarious. 283 00:15:39,808 --> 00:15:42,141 I knew there was something I didn't trust about you. 284 00:15:42,210 --> 00:15:44,907 Shut up. 285 00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:46,573 They're getting on well. 286 00:15:46,648 --> 00:15:49,584 What, Sophie and Peter? That'll never work. 287 00:15:49,651 --> 00:15:51,142 Why not? 288 00:15:51,219 --> 00:15:52,812 He's too old for her. 289 00:15:52,888 --> 00:15:54,117 Is he? 290 00:15:54,189 --> 00:15:57,091 I don't know. What's a reasonable age difference? 291 00:15:57,159 --> 00:15:58,957 Well, sometimes 10 years. 292 00:15:59,027 --> 00:16:00,518 What about 20? 293 00:16:01,596 --> 00:16:02,907 But he's not 20 years older than her. 294 00:16:02,931 --> 00:16:05,867 No, no. But would 20 be too much? 295 00:16:05,934 --> 00:16:08,199 Yeah, probably. What are you talking about? 296 00:16:09,437 --> 00:16:10,905 Nothing. 297 00:16:19,147 --> 00:16:20,410 You walking home? 298 00:16:20,482 --> 00:16:23,475 Um, Peter's giving me a lift. 299 00:16:23,552 --> 00:16:25,180 You only live down the road. 300 00:16:25,253 --> 00:16:27,051 Y-Yeah. 301 00:16:28,623 --> 00:16:32,185 Oh, it... Yeah, no, I-I know, yeah. 302 00:16:32,260 --> 00:16:33,284 See you later, then. 303 00:16:33,361 --> 00:16:36,195 - Yeah, see ya. - Bye, Andy. 304 00:17:04,993 --> 00:17:07,326 Better get this over and done with. 305 00:18:01,516 --> 00:18:02,609 Russ? 306 00:18:09,190 --> 00:18:10,123 Ugh! 307 00:18:10,191 --> 00:18:12,057 What is it? 308 00:18:12,127 --> 00:18:15,120 Look. 309 00:18:15,196 --> 00:18:17,062 Oh, yeah. 310 00:18:17,132 --> 00:18:19,863 I've seen a few of those scattered about. 311 00:18:19,935 --> 00:18:22,530 All different colors. 312 00:18:22,604 --> 00:18:24,766 Has that one been used? 313 00:18:25,774 --> 00:18:29,006 It looks like it. It's got a knot in it. 314 00:18:29,077 --> 00:18:30,773 Oh, yeah. 315 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,312 Well, I'm not touching it. 316 00:18:34,382 --> 00:18:35,941 Neither am I. 317 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,189 Flick it off with a stick. 318 00:18:51,232 --> 00:18:53,258 Can you get me a stick? 319 00:19:01,042 --> 00:19:03,204 It was in his hair. 320 00:19:03,278 --> 00:19:05,975 Seriously, it came out with such force, 321 00:19:06,047 --> 00:19:07,572 it shot out the back of his nappy, 322 00:19:07,649 --> 00:19:10,778 up his back, and it was all matted in his hair. 323 00:19:10,852 --> 00:19:13,845 Had to tease it out with a comb. 324 00:19:14,956 --> 00:19:17,323 Is this really an after-dinner story? 325 00:19:17,392 --> 00:19:19,520 I've just had sticky toffee pudding. 326 00:19:23,098 --> 00:19:24,691 Do you want another drink? 327 00:19:24,766 --> 00:19:26,064 Uh, maybe. 328 00:19:26,134 --> 00:19:30,128 Let's have another drink. 329 00:19:30,205 --> 00:19:32,436 Do you remember what we used to talk about before Stan? 330 00:19:33,842 --> 00:19:35,987 You mean we didn't used to talk about poo all the time? 331 00:19:36,011 --> 00:19:39,448 Hardly ever. 332 00:19:39,514 --> 00:19:42,973 We used to talk about the future and what we wanted to do. 333 00:19:43,051 --> 00:19:45,680 About our hopes and dreams. 334 00:19:47,455 --> 00:19:49,924 Can I tell you what Gay Martin said about VSO? 335 00:19:49,991 --> 00:19:50,754 Uh... 336 00:19:50,825 --> 00:19:54,091 Please, Andy, don't just close your mind to this. 337 00:19:54,162 --> 00:19:55,824 And don't just clam up. 338 00:19:55,897 --> 00:19:58,366 If you are really against this, I need to know why. 339 00:19:58,433 --> 00:20:00,732 I've told you. I think Stan's too young. 340 00:20:00,802 --> 00:20:03,772 How can we look after a three-month-old baby in Africa? 341 00:20:03,838 --> 00:20:06,569 - Africans manage it. - You know what I mean. 342 00:20:06,641 --> 00:20:09,372 I'm so scared, Andy, that now we've had a baby, that's it, 343 00:20:09,444 --> 00:20:12,312 we're never gonna do anything brave or exciting ever again 344 00:20:12,380 --> 00:20:15,748 because we're too nervous about changing anything. 345 00:20:17,218 --> 00:20:19,449 I don't get to see enough of Stan. 346 00:20:22,624 --> 00:20:26,425 If we don't do this now, we might never do it. 347 00:20:26,494 --> 00:20:30,090 We need to be brave, both of us. 348 00:20:30,165 --> 00:20:33,761 We both need to say, "Fuck it, let's do this." 349 00:20:35,236 --> 00:20:37,432 - Yeah. - Yeah? 350 00:20:39,074 --> 00:20:41,066 Something to finish off? 351 00:20:41,142 --> 00:20:43,873 Yes, please. I'd like a Scotch, double, no ice. 352 00:20:43,945 --> 00:20:44,537 Sir? 353 00:20:44,612 --> 00:20:47,673 Um, just a decaffeinated coffee, please. 354 00:20:47,749 --> 00:20:48,682 Quite weak. 355 00:20:48,750 --> 00:20:51,515 Plenty of milk, but cold milk so it's not too hot. 356 00:20:51,586 --> 00:20:52,586 Just tepid. 357 00:20:54,956 --> 00:20:56,396 Would you like a marshmallow with it? 358 00:20:56,458 --> 00:20:58,051 Oh, yes, please. 359 00:21:02,230 --> 00:21:04,461 Let me show you what I found. 360 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,735 Toutswemogala Hill in Botswana. 361 00:21:15,810 --> 00:21:19,042 They've been excavating an Iron Age civilization there 362 00:21:19,114 --> 00:21:20,548 for the past five years. 363 00:21:20,615 --> 00:21:22,743 They've just received funding for a further year, 364 00:21:22,817 --> 00:21:24,251 and they're recruiting new graduates 365 00:21:24,319 --> 00:21:26,220 as field archaeologists. 366 00:21:26,287 --> 00:21:27,983 And look. 367 00:21:29,023 --> 00:21:31,219 The nearest town is 50 kilometers away, 368 00:21:31,292 --> 00:21:33,124 so they've begun building a village 369 00:21:33,194 --> 00:21:35,425 close to the excavation site for the workers. 370 00:21:35,497 --> 00:21:37,523 And they've set up a school for the children, 371 00:21:37,599 --> 00:21:39,830 and the school needs volunteers. 372 00:21:41,269 --> 00:21:42,703 Well? 373 00:21:43,838 --> 00:21:45,773 Yeah, it's... I don't know. 374 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:49,777 Look at it, Andy. It's almost too good to be true. 375 00:21:49,844 --> 00:21:51,210 Who'd look after Stan? 376 00:21:51,279 --> 00:21:53,373 We would. Both of us. 377 00:21:53,448 --> 00:21:55,644 Be difficult without your mum about. 378 00:21:55,717 --> 00:21:57,652 You always moan when he goes to my mum's. 379 00:21:57,719 --> 00:21:58,618 She helps a lot. 380 00:21:58,686 --> 00:22:00,518 Oh, you are such a hypocrite. 381 00:22:00,588 --> 00:22:02,784 It's... It's not just that. 382 00:22:02,857 --> 00:22:04,553 I mean, wouldn't we be mad to risk it 383 00:22:04,626 --> 00:22:06,595 while you've got a job and a steady income? 384 00:22:06,661 --> 00:22:09,825 It's the only security we've got. 385 00:22:09,898 --> 00:22:11,230 I gave in my notice. 386 00:22:12,567 --> 00:22:13,796 What? When? 387 00:22:13,868 --> 00:22:18,897 When I went back to work, I gave in my notice at the same time. 388 00:22:18,973 --> 00:22:23,775 I told them I was only gonna be there for one more term. 389 00:22:23,845 --> 00:22:25,473 When were you gonna tell me? 390 00:22:25,547 --> 00:22:30,918 I... I didn't want to put pressure on you finding a job. 391 00:22:30,985 --> 00:22:32,851 I was gonna tell you as soon as you got work. 392 00:22:32,921 --> 00:22:34,947 But the weeks and months are passing by, 393 00:22:35,023 --> 00:22:37,117 and you're still signing on. 394 00:22:39,627 --> 00:22:42,825 Oh, no, wait. Oh, we're too late. 395 00:22:42,897 --> 00:22:44,559 Applications closed yesterday. 396 00:22:46,267 --> 00:22:49,101 I know. I've already applied for you. 397 00:22:49,170 --> 00:22:51,366 You've got an interview on Tuesday. 398 00:22:51,439 --> 00:22:53,237 Jeez. Any more revelations? 399 00:22:53,308 --> 00:22:55,436 Just go along and do the interview. 400 00:22:55,510 --> 00:22:56,842 It'll be good practice. 401 00:22:56,911 --> 00:23:01,042 And... And if you don't get it, nothing lost. 402 00:23:01,115 --> 00:23:02,583 And if I do? 403 00:23:02,650 --> 00:23:04,744 Then we'll discuss it some more. 404 00:23:04,819 --> 00:23:07,516 Please. 405 00:23:07,589 --> 00:23:09,751 Please be brave. 406 00:23:12,093 --> 00:23:15,086 Madame, double scotch, no ice. 407 00:23:15,163 --> 00:23:16,096 Thank you. 408 00:23:16,164 --> 00:23:17,188 And for you, sir, 409 00:23:17,265 --> 00:23:24,934 weak, mild, tepid, sweet, decaffeinated coffee. 410 00:23:25,006 --> 00:23:26,941 - Enjoy. - Thank you. 411 00:23:32,981 --> 00:23:35,507 What, you don't think I should have the marshmallow? 412 00:23:36,451 --> 00:23:38,249 You think it'll keep me awake? 413 00:23:57,038 --> 00:23:59,007 Africa Botswana? 414 00:23:59,073 --> 00:24:01,804 No, Botswana-upon-Thames. 415 00:24:03,144 --> 00:24:04,737 Bloody hell. 416 00:24:04,812 --> 00:24:06,440 Ridiculous, right? 417 00:24:06,514 --> 00:24:08,949 You can't take a baby to Botswana. 418 00:24:09,017 --> 00:24:11,179 - How long for? - A year. 419 00:24:11,252 --> 00:24:12,811 It's completely the wrong time. 420 00:24:12,887 --> 00:24:14,947 We need to wait until Stanley's older. 421 00:24:15,023 --> 00:24:17,549 Sounds brilliant. 422 00:24:17,625 --> 00:24:19,958 What? Not you as well. 423 00:24:20,028 --> 00:24:22,725 Well, sounds right up your strasse. 424 00:24:22,797 --> 00:24:25,266 Brushing the dirt with little brushes. 425 00:24:25,333 --> 00:24:27,928 Why wouldn't you want to go for that? 426 00:24:28,002 --> 00:24:30,733 You can't wait to get rid of me. 427 00:24:30,805 --> 00:24:32,774 Who would you go detecting with? 428 00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:35,309 Oh, don't worry about me. 429 00:24:35,376 --> 00:24:38,073 Anyway, I might not have quite so much time 430 00:24:38,146 --> 00:24:41,173 to go detecting from now on. 431 00:24:41,249 --> 00:24:43,047 Why's that? 432 00:24:43,117 --> 00:24:47,782 Oh, nothing. You know, just things. 433 00:24:47,855 --> 00:24:50,256 Other things going on. 434 00:24:51,492 --> 00:24:53,154 Other people. 435 00:25:31,933 --> 00:25:35,165 Here. You remember old Mick Wiffin? 436 00:25:37,004 --> 00:25:39,439 He used to wear period costumes when he was detecting. 437 00:25:39,507 --> 00:25:40,873 That's it. 438 00:25:40,942 --> 00:25:45,346 Swore he found more from the era of the clothes he was wearing. 439 00:25:45,413 --> 00:25:51,478 Frock coat and periwig, he'd find Georgian buckles and coins. 440 00:25:51,552 --> 00:25:54,078 Pops on a toga... Roman stuff. 441 00:25:55,623 --> 00:25:56,921 You didn't want to see him 442 00:25:56,991 --> 00:25:59,620 when he was searching for prehistoric artifacts, though. 443 00:25:59,694 --> 00:26:01,993 Tiny strip of rabbit fur. 444 00:26:02,063 --> 00:26:05,329 And he was a big bloke. 445 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,130 You see "Celebrity Mastermind"? 446 00:26:07,201 --> 00:26:09,602 Yeah, general-knowledge questions were a joke. 447 00:26:09,670 --> 00:26:12,538 Oh. I didn't. I was out. 448 00:26:12,607 --> 00:26:14,166 Like children's questions. 449 00:26:14,242 --> 00:26:17,178 Didn't see it. Went out with someone. 450 00:26:17,245 --> 00:26:19,156 General-knowledge questions on normal "Mastermind" 451 00:26:19,180 --> 00:26:20,614 are well difficult. 452 00:26:20,681 --> 00:26:21,910 Nobody you'd know. 453 00:26:21,983 --> 00:26:24,646 Why do celebrities get easier questions? 454 00:26:26,087 --> 00:26:27,087 Mm? 455 00:26:27,155 --> 00:26:29,818 Oh, for Christ's sake, mate, I know you've been seeing someone. 456 00:26:29,891 --> 00:26:32,451 - I saw you, and Sophie saw you. - When? 457 00:26:32,527 --> 00:26:34,894 In a café when you said you were gonna be at the DIY shop, 458 00:26:34,962 --> 00:26:36,794 and in the park. 459 00:26:36,864 --> 00:26:37,864 So you've seen her? 460 00:26:37,899 --> 00:26:40,630 Yes, mate. So stop being so fucking mysterious. 461 00:26:40,701 --> 00:26:42,294 She's beautiful, isn't she? 462 00:26:42,370 --> 00:26:45,738 I haven't seen her close up. I don't know. Is she? 463 00:26:45,807 --> 00:26:47,537 Yeah. 464 00:26:47,608 --> 00:26:48,769 What's her name? 465 00:26:48,843 --> 00:26:50,778 Kate. 466 00:26:50,845 --> 00:26:52,541 How many times have you seen her? 467 00:26:52,613 --> 00:26:55,276 Three times. 468 00:26:55,349 --> 00:26:57,079 And how old is she? 469 00:26:58,119 --> 00:26:59,485 22. 470 00:27:02,757 --> 00:27:03,520 What? 471 00:27:03,591 --> 00:27:05,753 What do you mean, "What?" You know what. 472 00:27:05,827 --> 00:27:07,762 Isn't she a bit young for you? 473 00:27:07,829 --> 00:27:09,320 Nope. 474 00:27:09,397 --> 00:27:11,798 She's exactly the right age. 475 00:27:11,866 --> 00:27:15,462 Aah! Stop speaking in riddles! Tell me what's going on! 476 00:27:15,536 --> 00:27:18,700 - She's my daughter! - Right! Thank you! 477 00:27:24,145 --> 00:27:26,580 - She's... - Dah, dah, dah! 478 00:27:26,647 --> 00:27:30,607 I just need to process. 479 00:27:30,685 --> 00:27:33,280 - Your daughter? - Yeah. 480 00:27:33,354 --> 00:27:34,686 That you knew about? 481 00:27:34,755 --> 00:27:35,984 Yes. 482 00:27:36,057 --> 00:27:38,288 And that you didn't tell me about? 483 00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:39,952 Why should I have done? 484 00:27:40,027 --> 00:27:42,553 No reason. It's just a little thing. 485 00:27:42,630 --> 00:27:44,155 I only met her last week. 486 00:27:44,232 --> 00:27:47,760 She looks just like her mother. 487 00:27:47,835 --> 00:27:49,497 Well, who's her mother? 488 00:27:49,570 --> 00:27:52,369 I only knew her a couple of months. 489 00:27:54,208 --> 00:27:58,304 She was about the age Kate is now. 490 00:27:58,379 --> 00:28:01,349 I fell for her hook, line, and sinker. 491 00:28:02,383 --> 00:28:04,079 Summer fling. 492 00:28:05,253 --> 00:28:07,586 Met a girl, spent the summer with her. 493 00:28:08,656 --> 00:28:11,251 Tell me more, tell me more. Was it love at first sight? 494 00:28:11,325 --> 00:28:13,851 Mate. I'm trying to open up here. 495 00:28:13,928 --> 00:28:16,955 - Sorry. - Anyway... 496 00:28:17,031 --> 00:28:22,163 Come the end of the summer, she found out she was pregnant. 497 00:28:22,236 --> 00:28:25,604 Furious. Sawed my bed in half. 498 00:28:25,673 --> 00:28:26,936 Sawed it in half? 499 00:28:27,008 --> 00:28:28,271 Chainsaw. 500 00:28:32,547 --> 00:28:33,547 Lengthways? 501 00:28:33,581 --> 00:28:34,776 Across. 502 00:28:36,584 --> 00:28:40,612 Disappeared back to Ireland. I never saw her again. 503 00:28:40,688 --> 00:28:42,054 And, what, Kate found you? 504 00:28:42,123 --> 00:28:46,390 Yeah. She e-mailed me last month. 505 00:28:46,460 --> 00:28:49,658 I always hoped she would. 506 00:28:49,730 --> 00:28:54,395 Mate, it's a brave new world. 507 00:28:54,468 --> 00:28:56,869 It's time to confront past mistakes. 508 00:28:56,938 --> 00:29:00,568 And I think you should take that job. 509 00:29:09,250 --> 00:29:11,583 So did the council come and pick that up, then? 510 00:29:11,652 --> 00:29:12,585 The bed. 511 00:29:12,653 --> 00:29:15,316 I dismantled it in the end. 512 00:29:15,389 --> 00:29:16,789 Take it up the dump. 513 00:29:20,294 --> 00:29:22,286 Took three trips.