1
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:22,988
And in the remote outer
reaches of the universe,

2
00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:25,248
past civilization as we know it,

3
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:28,331
is a galactic system
called, the milky way.

4
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,662
Now this minor galaxy

5
00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:32,923
contains in its backwards area

6
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,542
a rather piddling star

7
00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:36,964
known as: The sun.

8
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:40,639
With a really pitiful
array of planets.

9
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:44,601
So much for our lesson
in space geography.

10
00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:46,636
And I hope you all took notes.

11
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:49,773
They'll be a test first
thing in the century, now then...

12
00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:53,738
Where is he?

13
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,356
Well, speak up. Where is kreton?

14
00:01:57,409 --> 00:02:00,401
During recess, I saw him kick
the ball over cloud 9.

15
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:01,614
On purpose.

16
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,908
Oh, but he said he'd be
right back Mr. Delton.

17
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,322
Yes, he better be.

18
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:08,162
I wonder if he's headed...

19
00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:12,087
There again! Oh, no.

20
00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:32,270
That's kreton, alright.

21
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,150
Goofiest driver in the whole school.

22
00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:35,899
Kreton.

23
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:38,613
Uh-uh, mustn't touch.

24
00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:52,794
Let's go buster, back
here where you belong.

25
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:05,390
- It's him.
- It's he.

26
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:13,269
Alright young man, I
know you're there, come out.

27
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,561
Why don't you come in?

28
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,485
Because I'm the
teacher and I said, come out.

29
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,613
Well, I didn't mean
any harm, Mr. delton.

30
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,569
You see, Mr. delton? I found my ball.

31
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,485
- Oh, I'll get it.
- Oh, no you don't.

32
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:29,657
Young man, you and I are going to
have 7 little heart to heart talk.

33
00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:31,120
Back to your seats all of you.

34
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:32,913
Not you.

35
00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:34,752
Now then...

36
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,923
You know perfectly well you've
been forbidden to visit,

37
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:40,884
that odious little
planetoid in the solar system.

38
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:43,173
But Mr. delton, the
earth isn't a planetoid,

39
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:46,423
it's a full grown planet, it has six
continents, five oceans, 2 moons...

40
00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,141
- One moon.
- One moon?

41
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,098
Well, anyhow, it's my hobby.

42
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:53,059
See, and well, as I calculate
it, right now down there,

43
00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:55,520
they're having a very
interesting period: The civil war.

44
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,981
Well gee whiz, Mr. Dalton. Every
guy should have a hobby.

45
00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,439
Not in your case.

46
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:01,738
Remember Mars, your last hobby?

47
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:04,149
We should have never let
you set foot on the place.

48
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:06,067
Bare, barren, desolate.

49
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,569
Nobody goes there anymore.

50
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:08,904
No...

51
00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:10,810
Say, maybe if they
put in gambling you know...

52
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,199
Nothing would help.

53
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:15,127
Thanks to your
thoughtlessness, Mars is a dead planet.

54
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:15,960
What good is it?

55
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:16,370
Well, you could...

56
00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:19,293
Now kreton, I want you to write:

57
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:23,673
"I will not visit the
earth�, 10 billion times.

58
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,761
Stay after school
a bit, if necessary.

59
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,473
But Mr. delton, I got
a date with the fellas,

60
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:30,763
to go space skiing.

61
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,803
I got wax on my feet and everything.

62
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:35,810
10 billion times.

63
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:38,604
10 billion.

64
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,147
Well.

65
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:48,326
Did he say 10 billion
times, or 10 million times?

66
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:51,287
What's the difference I'll
start with the first time.

67
00:04:53,001 --> 00:05:00,589
L... will... not... visit... the...

68
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:17,806
He's gone again.
Boy, is he in for it.

69
00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:20,525
You mean, "is the earth in for it."

70
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,705
It is...

71
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,253
It is one of them.

72
00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:45,967
Itis. It is.

73
00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:55,890
Hello Mr. mayberry.

74
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:58,225
I just picked up my
costume for your party tonight.

75
00:05:58,275 --> 00:05:59,185
What are you going as?

76
00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:00,599
General Lee, same as every year.

77
00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:01,607
What are you looking at?

78
00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:02,688
A flying saucer.

79
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:03,863
A what?

80
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:04,905
Didn't you see it?

81
00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:06,275
Well, no sir.

82
00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:08,490
This is the real thing, Conrad.

83
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:09,778
Look for yourself.

84
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,744
You see it? Do you see it?

85
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,243
Now, Mr. mayberry,
there ain't nothing up there

86
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:17,703
except a little old cloud.

87
00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:19,242
Oh, give me those.

88
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:22,291
Little old cloud
nothing. There she is.

89
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:26,500
Going round and round and round.

90
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:28,718
- Let me have another look.
- Just as plain as day.

91
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,925
- Well?
- I'm looking.

92
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:33,423
What is your considered
opinion, Conrad?

93
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:35,554
You won't get mad?

94
00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:37,140
Well, of course I won't.

95
00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:39,895
Well, Mr. mayberry, my
considered opinion is:

96
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:41,518
You oughta' see an eye doctor.

97
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,354
You got astigmatism.

98
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:44,486
Eye doctor!

99
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,311
Well, I gotta get over to spelding's,

100
00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:48,150
I gotta drop these flowers for Ellen.

101
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,484
Astigmatism!

102
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:51,240
To wear to your party tonight.

103
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,652
Bye-bye.

104
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,702
Oh, my goodness.

105
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,789
It's wiggling like a hula-hoop.

106
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:06,085
George, I fully realise that you are
vice president in charge of programming

107
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,299
but I will not pull my punches.

108
00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:13,089
The American public has
faith in Roger Putnam spelding.

109
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:16,508
And I intend to expose
this flying saucers scare,

110
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:17,679
once and for all.

111
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,598
On my telecast tonight.

112
00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:21,354
Hello, hello.

113
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:25,601
Rheba, will you please get off the
telephone I'm talking to New York.

114
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:28,983
I'm sorry dear, I was
calling the mayberry's.

115
00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:31,402
Do you think you he'll
need more mint for the juleps?

116
00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:34,867
Rheba please, I'm
talking to George Abercrombie.

117
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:38,664
Really? Oh, hello George and goodbye.

118
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,209
Evening, Conrad.

119
00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:44,419
Evening, Mrs. spelding.

120
00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:48,666
Not dressed yet for the party?

121
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,546
Plenty of time, Mrs. spelding.

122
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,549
Oh, darling, there's
some terrible force

123
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,888
that just keeps
driving me on and on and on.

124
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,974
Will you just restrain
that terrible force

125
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,889
because I'm getting
prickly heat again.

126
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:02,603
Don't forget to dress
for the party, Conrad.

127
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,890
Honey, let's get married right now.

128
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,892
Conrad, as you may have suspected,

129
00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:09,652
I find you sexually attractive,

130
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,648
but you just don't have any... money.

131
00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:15,362
Well, I don't happen
to believe in money.

132
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:21,706
Ellen, no marriage til we
finish college and get our degree.

133
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:24,663
Oh I don't know, maybe marriage
is all I'm fit for.

134
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,919
Breeding.

135
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:31,462
Out in the fields and an
hour later back to the plow.

136
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:35,136
Carrying my newborn child on my back.

137
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:36,432
Ellen!

138
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:37,801
If you're going to talk that way,

139
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:39,720
go where smart talk is appreciated.

140
00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:42,185
Go to a bar or a bus station.

141
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,683
Sometimes I wonder if
all that COD liver ail,

142
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:45,722
wasn't a mistake.

143
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,520
Children were stuffed with it.

144
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,191
And now look at them.

145
00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:52,611
I'd like a big family.

146
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,318
So would I.

147
00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:56,362
Let's start right now.

148
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:59,698
- Conrad.
- We'll get married.

149
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:02,622
And then our weekend at the lake.

150
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,744
All I am saying George,

151
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:11,340
is that it's high time the
American public grew up.

152
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,500
How does it look dear?

153
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:18,509
George, I am not calling all
of the American public, "boobs,"

154
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,973
only the boobs that
believe this dribble.

155
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:23,434
I'll admit it's a bit daring

156
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,813
but after all, Scarlet was, a hussy.

157
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,181
Rheba, for heaven's sake.

158
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,316
- Hurry, or we'll be late for the party.
- Shh.

159
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,061
Rhett...

160
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:36,023
I am going as Jefferson Davis.

161
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:37,486
Now that's final George.

162
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:41,323
My program goes on the air
exactly as we taped it this morning.

163
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:42,870
Goodbye.

164
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:47,084
Censorship, the curse
of the intelligent man.

165
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:52,998
And what are you doing?

166
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:54,840
He's just giving me a hand, daddy.

167
00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,363
He certainly is. Get it out of there.

168
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:57,968
Her zipper stuck, Mr. spelding.

169
00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,712
No man has the right to zip a girl,

170
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,097
until they're engaged.

171
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,220
Oh, I'm sure we can trust Conrad,

172
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,634
he's very mechanical.

173
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:07,766
Mr. spelding, what do you
think about these ufo reports?

174
00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:08,896
Poppycock.

175
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,606
Mr. mayberry doesn't think so.

176
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:12,984
He swears he saw an
unidentified flying object,

177
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:14,727
heading towards
Richmond a little while ago.

178
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:18,072
Bob mayberry saw the Richmond
plane heading towards Richmond.

179
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:19,691
Mass hysteria that's what it is.

180
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:23,032
I am laying it on the line tonight
for the American public.

181
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,363
You could be wrong, dear.

182
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:28,328
Space men. There
ain't no such animal.

183
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,956
That's the phrase I'm
hitting them with on my telecast.

184
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:33,087
Remember that scoop
you had about Elvis.

185
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:35,422
You said he was going into the Navy.

186
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:38,338
Why don't you go
home and get dressed?

187
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,177
Yes, sir. Ouch!

188
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,054
I'll be back soon Ellen.

189
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,510
All right dear.

190
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:45,683
Some mechanic.

191
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,937
Flying saucer over Richmond.

192
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:53,567
Now I've heard everything.
There ain't no such animal.

193
00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:12,081
Safe.

194
00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:26,140
Good evening, I
wonder if you could help me?

195
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,551
Am I any where near eh...

196
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,142
Oh, I guess he hasn't
learned to read yet.

197
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:56,003
What's the matter rags? Hungry?

198
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,877
Rheba, when are you
going to feed this dog?

199
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:25,153
I think he's trying
to tell you something.

200
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,201
Of course he is, he's
trying to tell me he's hungry.

201
00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,825
You see, he's not hungry at all.

202
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:34,121
- Now, where he ever learn that trick?
- I don't know.

203
00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:38,045
Someone at the side
door. I'll get it dear.

204
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:42,713
Rheba, it's almost seven do you mind turning
on the TV set in the living room.

205
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:45,716
Of course, dear. Any
particular channel?

206
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,381
My channel.

207
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:50,345
I want to watch me.
Nobody else in this house does.

208
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:12,531
- Yes?
- Good evening, madam.

209
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:16,034
My name kreton, and my
respects to general Lee.

210
00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:17,998
I should like to see him instantly.

211
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:21,957
General Lee? Oh, you mean
Bob mayberry down the road.

212
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,716
That's where the party is.

213
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:25,919
But I'm here for the battle.

214
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,342
Oh, I don't think it will be a brawl,

215
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:31,261
although last year...

216
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:32,884
We will be leaving in a few minutes.

217
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:35,136
Why don't you just drive
over with us, Mr. crouton?

218
00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:38,101
Uh, that's kreton. And
thank you very much.

219
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,441
TV set warmed up yet?

220
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:43,819
Just turning it on, dear.

221
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:48,033
My husband's television
program. He's very popular they tell me.

222
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:49,362
Oh, really?

223
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:00,332
- Oh, Mr. kreton?
- Yes?

224
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,630
Do sit down and watch.

225
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:06,217
Well, television in 1861.

226
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:08,469
That's funny, I thought
it came much later.

227
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:11,639
- Smoke if you'd like to.
- Thank you.

228
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,981
And stop whatever you're doing.

229
00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:28,531
Yes, stop and reflect a moment.

230
00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:31,322
Are you a thinking man?

231
00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:33,115
Yeah, I think, I'm a thinking man.

232
00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:35,533
Why not review your smoking habits.

233
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:37,039
Wait, I'm busy thinking.

234
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:38,165
Do it now.

235
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:39,158
Yes, sir.

236
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:41,456
But first... relax.

237
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:47,338
You mind if I sit down?

238
00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:49,173
Sit down.

239
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,972
Thank you, you're very kind.

240
00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:56,634
Now then, before you light up...

241
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:57,852
Oh, I'm sorry.

242
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,976
Inspect the filter at
the end of your smoke.

243
00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:05,026
Look inside... look closely.

244
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:08,441
What do you see?

245
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:09,814
Tobacco, what would you see?

246
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:11,232
Inspect the tobacco.

247
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,950
Try a crumble test.

248
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:15,945
A crumble test?

249
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,872
Rub the tobacco between your hands.

250
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:24,287
Now, whiff it.

251
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,672
Wait, I'm still busy crumbling.

252
00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:28,385
Whiff it!

253
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:29,588
Oh, yes sir.

254
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:33,505
Does it have that
fresh deep down aroma?

255
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,078
Makes you stop and
think, doesn't it..

256
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,058
It made me stop and sneeze.

257
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,553
So men just throw that
old smoke of yours away.

258
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:44,269
And try one of these.

259
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:49,278
Put it between your lips.

260
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:52,982
Close your eyes.

261
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,861
Now... light up.

262
00:15:57,665 --> 00:16:01,658
Yes... light up... and live.

263
00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:04,160
Light up and live?

264
00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:06,083
Man. I'm going to be burned to death.

265
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,373
You damn yankee.

266
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,089
His name is kreton.

267
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,929
Why can't he walk over
there? Who is he anyway?

268
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:17,135
Some friend of the mayberry's.

269
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,724
A nice young man.

270
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:25,439
Oh, confound it. I'm missing me.

271
00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:32,735
This dog has gone
nuts. Now scoot, jump.

272
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:42,415
For several years now certain
lunatics elements,

273
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:45,623
have proclaimed the
existence of flying saucers.

274
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:50,081
I should like to nail the
subject down once and for all.

275
00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:53,210
There ain't no such animal.

276
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:58,389
There is no life on other
planets capable of building spaceships

277
00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:01,434
and to interject a
purely American note,

278
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:04,474
no country in the world but ours,

279
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:08,563
has the industrial know
how to build such a ship.

280
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,313
Right.

281
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,186
Let me show you some
recent photographs

282
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:15,152
of objects purported
to be spaceships.

283
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:18,241
- Why, president Jefferson Davis.
- Number one.

284
00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:21,158
Of all people, I can't tell
you how glad I am to meet you...

285
00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:24,118
Oh, I'm awfully sorry, sir.

286
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:25,578
For what?

287
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,121
Number two.

288
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:31,001
Your left side-burn
sir... They, shot it off.

289
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:31,838
Number three.

290
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,294
- Quiet.
- I'm sorry?

291
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:34,302
I'm trying to listen.

292
00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:36,427
Oh. I'll listen also sir.

293
00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,922
And number four.

294
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,683
Optical illusions, every one of them.

295
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,894
Mass hysteria.

296
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,353
That's telling them, eh, boy.

297
00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:50,016
Yes, sir. It's too
bad, is full of hooey.

298
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,313
Hooey?

299
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,402
Oh well, I believe that's
the expression, sir..

300
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,647
Oris it eh, goofidust?

301
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:59,401
No, hooey! That's it.
He is full of hooey.

302
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:03,825
There's no need for
alarm. No need at all.

303
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:07,162
We shall return to Roger Putnam
spelding, in a moment.

304
00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:11,412
But first. Have you
inspected your filter lately.

305
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:14,002
Smoke supurbo.

306
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:16,918
Superb tobacco superbly blended

307
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,635
a superb filter.

308
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,755
Mr. president, don't
you listen to him.

309
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,506
He'll burn your whiskers off.

310
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:23,598
Oh, stop.

311
00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:27,182
I mean it, sir. He did a job on
me. He burned my head and my face...

312
00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:29,312
You think I'm full of hooey, eh?

313
00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:31,399
Oh, no sir. I didn't
say you were full of hooey,

314
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,025
I said that... that... that...

315
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,230
Well... your not Jefferson Davis.

316
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:39,823
Your himthatmanon TV.

317
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:43,786
- That Roger pelman sputing.
- Spelding.

318
00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:46,246
I know who I am. The question
is: Who are you?

319
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,832
Oh, no sir. The
question is: When am I?

320
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:49,825
When are you?

321
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:52,544
What I mean is... what year is this?

322
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:53,921
1960.

323
00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:58,338
I'm 99 years off.

324
00:18:58,346 --> 00:19:00,257
What year did you have in mind?

325
00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:03,673
1861. You see, I was
on my way to the civil war

326
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,349
and something went
wrong with the machine,

327
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:06,934
or my calculations, I
don't know which, but...

328
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:10,225
I landed here 99 years out of my way.

329
00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:13,357
But I never was very good at dates.

330
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,522
Are you trying to pull my leg?

331
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:19,234
No, sir, but if you'd like me to...

332
00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:25,361
Oh, I've been awfully rude, sir,

333
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,496
I haven't introduced
myself. My name is kreton.

334
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:28,781
I'm from the other side.

335
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:30,119
The other side of where?

336
00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:32,452
The other side of the
universe, another planet.

337
00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:33,873
Oh, I'm sorry.

338
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,131
Actually, what...

339
00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:39,675
Come on, come on, I
know a trick when I see one.

340
00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:42,128
Now where's the wire that
you did this with?

341
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:49,854
What is this?

342
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:52,855
I'm sorry, I neglected
to warn you. You see,

343
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:56,939
I can touch you but you
mustn't touch me, you understand?

344
00:19:57,113 --> 00:19:58,649
Look, I'll show you.

345
00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:01,317
You see?

346
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:07,073
They do exist and you're one of them.

347
00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:10,157
Well, you... you come from out there.

348
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,158
That's it, yes indeed.

349
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:15,457
But that's our little
secret now, isn't it Mr. spelding?

350
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:21,254
That's odd. I thought I
turned that motor off.

351
00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:27,181
Oh, I'll be spending the night
here. That is... if it's convenient.

352
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,674
I'll be right back.

353
00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:40,270
When you boobs my
friends, I simply repeat:

354
00:20:40,281 --> 00:20:43,273
When it comes to
visitors from outer space,

355
00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:46,447
there ain't no such animal.

356
00:20:46,454 --> 00:20:49,446
That's what you
think, you stupid boob.

357
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,847
Oh, Mr. delton, sir.

358
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:13,844
You playing hookey too?

359
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:15,938
I certainly am not.

360
00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:18,853
So you've gone over
the cloud again eh?

361
00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:22,695
What's your excuse this
time? Another missing volleyball?

362
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:25,444
Oh, no sir. No, Mr. delton.

363
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,367
I
- I lost my marbles.

364
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,952
You lost your marbles long ago.

365
00:21:31,165 --> 00:21:33,076
Well, I'll tell the
truth, Mr. delton.

366
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:35,165
You see the reason I played
hookie and came down here is,

367
00:21:35,169 --> 00:21:38,081
because well, I like the
earth and I like the people on it,

368
00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:41,000
and well sir, can't I study them?

369
00:21:41,008 --> 00:21:42,373
Absolutely not.

370
00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:43,749
But it would be like homework, sir,

371
00:21:43,761 --> 00:21:45,968
after all I am
majoring in the planet earth.

372
00:21:46,013 --> 00:21:47,503
Under no circumstances.

373
00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:50,097
On second thought,

374
00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:52,557
maybe you ought to get
this out of your system.

375
00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:54,142
It might do you a world of good.

376
00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:55,974
Another world that is.

377
00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:57,937
You mean I can stay then, sir?

378
00:21:58,442 --> 00:21:59,397
For a bit.

379
00:21:59,401 --> 00:22:02,643
But remember kreton,
there's a wise old proverb that goes

380
00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:05,062
"up is down and down is up..."

381
00:22:05,074 --> 00:22:07,156
"And never the twain shall meet."

382
00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:09,362
Yes, I remember it. I
remember it well, sir.

383
00:22:09,370 --> 00:22:11,281
But you must keep in
mind that this visit of yours,

384
00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:12,494
must be a secret.

385
00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:16,207
And don't get involved with these
earth people. You can't trust them.

386
00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:17,620
No, you can't trust them at all, sir,

387
00:22:17,628 --> 00:22:19,164
except Mr. spelding, he's very nice,

388
00:22:19,213 --> 00:22:20,794
an he wouldn't tell a soul about me.

389
00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:22,500
He wouldn't, eh?

390
00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:26,216
At this very moment, he's
calling New York. Listen.

391
00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:30,929
I don't care if he is having
dinner. This is important.

392
00:22:31,225 --> 00:22:33,090
I'll fix his wagon.

393
00:22:33,143 --> 00:22:35,008
What are you going to do, Mr. delton?

394
00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:37,348
That joker is getting the old "86."

395
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:39,187
Oh no don't disintegrate,
him Mr. Delton, please.

396
00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:41,603
He's a very nice man, and
he's going to a party later

397
00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:43,100
and his wife won't
have anyone to dance with.

398
00:22:43,112 --> 00:22:45,103
Couldn't you just
throw an old 14 at him?

399
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:48,697
- 14 it is.
- Your very kind.

400
00:22:49,493 --> 00:22:52,200
Here's how I start
my program tomorrow...

401
00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:58,537
Well, speak up man. I have a
dinner party waiting for me.

402
00:22:59,336 --> 00:23:02,248
How do you intend to
start your broadcast?

403
00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:04,788
Mary had a wittle wamb,

404
00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:07,336
its fleece was white as snow,

405
00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:11,004
and everywhere that Mary went.

406
00:23:12,016 --> 00:23:14,223
Roger, are you out of your mind?

407
00:23:14,852 --> 00:23:19,437
The wamb... was sure... to go.

408
00:23:20,024 --> 00:23:21,605
Spelding you're drunk.

409
00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:26,019
Study these earthlings
but don't get involved.

410
00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:27,023
No, I won't.

411
00:23:27,031 --> 00:23:29,693
Do you worry, Mr.
delton and thank you very much.

412
00:23:29,700 --> 00:23:33,192
And I'll be a good boy, Mr.
delton. Have a good trip.

413
00:23:33,203 --> 00:23:34,909
So long.

414
00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:51,835
What happened?

415
00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:54,554
Well, you were snitching
so you got a 14.

416
00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:56,014
You could have gotten an 86.

417
00:23:56,018 --> 00:23:57,133
What's an 867?

418
00:23:58,062 --> 00:23:59,472
Come, I'll show you.

419
00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:04,442
Well?

420
00:24:04,902 --> 00:24:06,392
Watch that plant.

421
00:24:21,418 --> 00:24:23,409
That's an 86.

422
00:24:33,389 --> 00:24:36,802
You'll like him, he's
really a very nice young man.

423
00:24:36,934 --> 00:24:38,424
- Mr. kreton.
- Yes?

424
00:24:38,435 --> 00:24:39,971
This is my daughter, Ellen.

425
00:24:40,187 --> 00:24:41,723
Hello.

426
00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:43,600
Huh. 36.

427
00:24:47,736 --> 00:24:48,896
30.

428
00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:50,485
That's better... much better.

429
00:24:50,531 --> 00:24:51,520
Pardon?

430
00:24:51,532 --> 00:24:54,740
- I mean... this bend...
- What?

431
00:24:54,743 --> 00:24:57,325
What I mean to say is that,
it does something for girls.

432
00:24:57,329 --> 00:25:00,742
You see, where I come from, the
girls are 36 straight and that's it.

433
00:25:00,749 --> 00:25:04,037
But this, breaks up the monotony.

434
00:25:05,087 --> 00:25:07,703
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- He is cute, mother.

435
00:25:08,549 --> 00:25:09,538
I was right.

436
00:25:09,550 --> 00:25:11,461
I was right. I was right.

437
00:25:11,468 --> 00:25:13,629
Good evening, Ellen, rheba.

438
00:25:13,637 --> 00:25:16,424
I just received a flash from headquarters
on the flying saucers.

439
00:25:16,473 --> 00:25:18,464
It's confirmed Roger.

440
00:25:18,475 --> 00:25:21,808
Why I even saw one with
my own eyes, as plain as day.

441
00:25:21,812 --> 00:25:23,723
There were machine guns
sticking out of the side

442
00:25:23,731 --> 00:25:25,517
and underneath it
had a rack of bombs,

443
00:25:25,816 --> 00:25:29,354
and a tremendous Cannon
poking out of a pillbox on the top.

444
00:25:29,361 --> 00:25:30,942
Oh, ho ho?

445
00:25:30,946 --> 00:25:32,607
- How do you do.
- How do you do.

446
00:25:32,740 --> 00:25:33,740
Have we met?

447
00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:37,616
No, unless you've ever been to x-47.

448
00:25:37,619 --> 00:25:41,203
This is Mr. mayberry.
He's host to the party tonight.

449
00:25:41,206 --> 00:25:41,865
Oh?

450
00:25:42,124 --> 00:25:43,489
Nice costume.

451
00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:45,616
Right costume, wrong century.

452
00:25:51,133 --> 00:25:54,421
At 1800 this evening, an
unidentified flying object

453
00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:55,755
was spotted high over...

454
00:25:55,763 --> 00:25:57,674
Bob, you shouldn't
read that in front of Roger.

455
00:25:57,681 --> 00:26:00,844
Remember, there
"ain't" no such animal.

456
00:26:00,851 --> 00:26:03,217
"No such animal,� as what, mother?

457
00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:05,514
As visitors from beyond.

458
00:26:06,231 --> 00:26:09,223
Teensy-winsy little men with
long green feelers like this.

459
00:26:09,610 --> 00:26:11,225
Excuse me, Mrs. spelding,

460
00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:14,444
but the long green feelers
went out with the short red tails.

461
00:26:15,449 --> 00:26:17,314
Short red tails??

462
00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:20,700
Bob, rheba, for heaven's sake.

463
00:26:20,704 --> 00:26:22,444
Short red tails!

464
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:24,325
That's a good one.

465
00:26:25,626 --> 00:26:26,706
No.

466
00:26:26,710 --> 00:26:28,200
Oh no.

467
00:26:28,796 --> 00:26:31,538
Yes, yes indeed. You put
fingerprints all over it.

468
00:26:31,632 --> 00:26:33,714
I mean, I don't care
for me personally,

469
00:26:34,051 --> 00:26:36,042
but we are supposed to keep it clean.

470
00:26:36,053 --> 00:26:39,045
You know, sloppy
barrier, sloppy mind.

471
00:26:48,065 --> 00:26:51,057
You know what's
going on rog, tell us?

472
00:26:52,486 --> 00:26:56,479
I can't. I have to
watch out for that old 86.

473
00:26:57,825 --> 00:27:00,316
look what happened
to the azalea plant.

474
00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:02,534
It's withered!

475
00:27:02,538 --> 00:27:04,620
That's what I mean.

476
00:27:04,957 --> 00:27:06,868
Can I tell them, please?

477
00:27:08,168 --> 00:27:11,376
Well, as long as I am going
to be a guest in your house,

478
00:27:11,380 --> 00:27:12,961
I suppose it'll be alright.

479
00:27:13,090 --> 00:27:14,170
But remember now.

480
00:27:14,216 --> 00:27:15,956
This is our little secret.

481
00:27:16,510 --> 00:27:18,216
- You see...
- I'm from another world.

482
00:27:18,971 --> 00:27:20,677
- From another...?
- Planet.

483
00:27:21,265 --> 00:27:23,472
- It's true.
- Jupiter?

484
00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:26,217
Jupiter? No one lives on Jupiter.

485
00:27:26,228 --> 00:27:27,968
Well, at least no one I know.

486
00:27:28,021 --> 00:27:29,477
Why did you come here?

487
00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:31,559
Oh... I guess it was a

488
00:27:31,859 --> 00:27:33,975
combined pleasure and study trip.

489
00:27:34,111 --> 00:27:36,853
You know, a visit to
your small planet from mine.

490
00:27:37,364 --> 00:27:39,104
8,000,000 light years away.

491
00:27:39,158 --> 00:27:42,400
8,000,000. Imagine.

492
00:27:42,411 --> 00:27:45,494
Poor boy, you must be exhausted.

493
00:27:46,081 --> 00:27:49,164
I am as a matter of fact
a little pooped right now.

494
00:27:49,168 --> 00:27:51,159
A good night sleep
will take care of that.

495
00:27:51,170 --> 00:27:53,161
I'll fix up the guest room.

496
00:27:53,172 --> 00:27:54,753
Oh, well, thank you very much.

497
00:28:17,362 --> 00:28:18,647
Hi everybody.

498
00:28:18,655 --> 00:28:20,316
Hi, Conrad.

499
00:28:20,574 --> 00:28:21,939
What is he supposed to be?

500
00:28:21,950 --> 00:28:23,656
A spaceman.

501
00:28:23,952 --> 00:28:25,972
At least that's what I
would have said 10 minutes ago.

502
00:28:25,996 --> 00:28:27,611
Ain't I something?

503
00:28:28,123 --> 00:28:29,659
Excuse me, please.

504
00:28:29,875 --> 00:28:31,285
How do you do?

505
00:28:31,668 --> 00:28:33,033
I wonder, do you mind?

506
00:28:33,420 --> 00:28:34,535
Go ahead.

507
00:28:35,088 --> 00:28:36,248
Thank you.

508
00:28:38,675 --> 00:28:40,555
You know I'm sick and tired
of going to this old

509
00:28:40,594 --> 00:28:42,676
ball every year
dressed as stonewall Jackson.

510
00:28:43,138 --> 00:28:45,470
This year I'm going as
a sure enough spaceman.

511
00:28:45,849 --> 00:28:46,929
Boom boom.

512
00:28:47,017 --> 00:28:50,976
Oh, you don't need that
to boom boom. May 1?

513
00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:52,306
Sure.

514
00:28:54,024 --> 00:28:55,935
Mr. spelding, who is that?

515
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,568
That you boob, is a spaceman.

516
00:28:59,780 --> 00:29:01,316
A spaceman?

517
00:29:02,449 --> 00:29:03,905
You're kidding.

518
00:29:04,701 --> 00:29:08,114
Will you please sit down and shut up?

519
00:29:15,712 --> 00:29:17,623
Oh, I'm sorry Mr. spelding.

520
00:29:19,383 --> 00:29:21,465
Get this thing off Mel

521
00:29:22,928 --> 00:29:24,043
get it off.

522
00:29:24,471 --> 00:29:27,304
Yes, I will. Just a second.

523
00:29:32,187 --> 00:29:36,681
Oops I'm sorry, Mr. spelding. I guess
I aimed just a little too high.

524
00:29:36,692 --> 00:29:39,399
If you'll just take
your hands down and relax.

525
00:29:39,403 --> 00:29:40,984
Just hold perfectly still.

526
00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:48,992
There we are.

527
00:29:56,211 --> 00:29:59,203
See, Mr. spelding,
I can but you can't.

528
00:30:03,176 --> 00:30:07,294
Sure enough ever loving
cotton picking spaceman.

529
00:30:07,306 --> 00:30:10,093
Here you are Mr. spelding,
I hope that I didn't upset...

530
00:30:10,100 --> 00:30:11,306
Guest room's ready.

531
00:30:11,351 --> 00:30:14,309
Thank you, very much Mrs.
spelding. I hope I didn't put you out.

532
00:30:14,313 --> 00:30:17,521
And you'll find some of Mr.
spelding's clothes in the closet.

533
00:30:17,524 --> 00:30:18,730
Feel free to wear them.

534
00:30:18,775 --> 00:30:21,266
My clothes?!? Are you radioactive?

535
00:30:21,278 --> 00:30:23,860
Oh, you needn't worry about
that sir, I've had my shots.

536
00:30:24,156 --> 00:30:27,614
Well, enjoy yourselves
everybody. I'm going to beddy-bye.

537
00:30:27,951 --> 00:30:30,112
- Goodnight.
- You forgot your bag, kreton.

538
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:33,328
Oh, so I did, thank
you. And thank you.

539
00:30:37,336 --> 00:30:38,336
Bob...

540
00:30:39,379 --> 00:30:40,494
Where are you going?

541
00:30:40,505 --> 00:30:42,211
I know my duty when I see it.

542
00:30:42,257 --> 00:30:43,918
I'm reporting this to state militia.

543
00:30:43,925 --> 00:30:46,007
I wouldn't do that.
He wants it kept secret.

544
00:30:46,261 --> 00:30:47,592
Secret?

545
00:30:48,263 --> 00:30:52,097
Oh. Of course. You can trust me, rog.

546
00:30:52,142 --> 00:30:53,632
Won't tell a soul.

547
00:30:57,397 --> 00:30:58,227
Conrad?

548
00:30:58,231 --> 00:31:00,017
I won't tell a soul
either Mr. spelding.

549
00:31:00,025 --> 00:31:01,140
Your darned right you won't.

550
00:31:01,151 --> 00:31:03,142
You think I'd let a blabber
mouth like you get me in trouble?

551
00:31:03,153 --> 00:31:04,563
You are not leaving
this house tonight.

552
00:31:04,571 --> 00:31:06,357
You are sleeping here.

553
00:31:08,450 --> 00:31:09,735
In my room.

554
00:31:10,327 --> 00:31:12,818
I'm sorry, Mr.
spelding, I just can't.

555
00:31:13,288 --> 00:31:16,826
I mean... well, I'm not gonna
leave myrtle alone in my place all night.

556
00:31:16,833 --> 00:31:18,949
- Myrtle?
- His goat daddy. Remember?

557
00:31:19,002 --> 00:31:19,661
Oh yeah...

558
00:31:19,711 --> 00:31:21,497
Myrtle hasn't been a
bit well Mr. spelding.

559
00:31:21,546 --> 00:31:22,706
She looks very piqued.

560
00:31:22,756 --> 00:31:25,122
And in the last couple of days she's
been running a temperature.

561
00:31:25,133 --> 00:31:28,341
Well, she can run it over
here. Put myrtle in our barn.

562
00:31:28,595 --> 00:31:30,426
- Is it air conditioned?
- Get going.

563
00:31:30,430 --> 00:31:31,715
Yes sir, I'll do that.

564
00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:36,011
What about the party daddy?

565
00:31:36,019 --> 00:31:38,385
We are not going to the party.

566
00:31:42,401 --> 00:31:43,481
Good evening, good evening.

567
00:31:43,527 --> 00:31:46,234
Mabel, Mabel. Get them
to the living room.

568
00:31:46,321 --> 00:31:48,528
- What?
- Get them into the living room, please.

569
00:31:48,532 --> 00:31:49,647
Hurry, dear, hurry.

570
00:31:49,658 --> 00:31:52,946
Will you all please go into the
living room and enjoy yourself.

571
00:31:52,994 --> 00:31:54,734
I'll be there in just a moment.

572
00:31:54,996 --> 00:31:55,996
Have fun.

573
00:31:57,416 --> 00:31:58,872
Robert, what in the world...?

574
00:31:58,875 --> 00:32:00,831
Don't ask any questions, Mabel.

575
00:32:00,836 --> 00:32:02,997
This is the biggest thing
that ever happened to manassas...

576
00:32:03,004 --> 00:32:04,004
To the country!

577
00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:06,538
Captain Jackson?
Mayberry of manassas.

578
00:32:06,550 --> 00:32:09,542
Listen carefully, this
is top, top secret.

579
00:32:09,553 --> 00:32:12,340
At precisely 7:45 tonight...

580
00:32:12,431 --> 00:32:15,514
Mary had a wittle wamb.

581
00:32:16,059 --> 00:32:18,300
Mustn't do that, Mr. mayberry.

582
00:32:28,530 --> 00:32:31,237
Oh, hiya rags. Come on in. Come on.

583
00:32:36,329 --> 00:32:38,741
There's no reason why we
can't be friends, rags.

584
00:32:38,748 --> 00:32:41,740
Now, whats on your
mind? Come on, out with it.

585
00:32:43,128 --> 00:32:44,709
Oh, I forgot.

586
00:32:47,924 --> 00:32:51,132
I don't believe it.
There ain't no such human.

587
00:32:51,136 --> 00:32:53,343
You been spending too
much time with Mr. spelding.

588
00:32:53,346 --> 00:32:54,836
I am perfectly normal.

589
00:32:56,141 --> 00:32:57,722
Rags, where do you sleep at night?

590
00:32:57,893 --> 00:33:00,976
Me? In a lousy box on the back porch.

591
00:33:01,021 --> 00:33:02,932
They think I'm a watchdog,

592
00:33:02,939 --> 00:33:05,225
but I'm really not. I'm yellow.

593
00:33:06,109 --> 00:33:07,440
Soaml.

594
00:33:08,737 --> 00:33:12,525
Rags I have a thought. Why
don't you bunk here with me tonight?

595
00:33:12,532 --> 00:33:15,239
- With you?
- Sure, why not?

596
00:33:32,469 --> 00:33:33,469
On.

597
00:33:42,896 --> 00:33:45,808
Rags, you take the lower.

598
00:33:51,821 --> 00:33:54,028
Normal... he says.

599
00:34:00,914 --> 00:34:03,530
- Good morning, kreton.
- Oh, good morning, Ellen.

600
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,412
- You look very pretty this morning.
- Thank you.

601
00:34:06,878 --> 00:34:07,993
Well, how do you like it?

602
00:34:08,004 --> 00:34:10,120
Your first day on earth, I mean.

603
00:34:10,173 --> 00:34:11,162
Oh! Oh that.

604
00:34:11,174 --> 00:34:12,880
Just wonderful. I like it a lot.

605
00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:15,125
Except that, it's not
exactly like I thought it would be.

606
00:34:15,345 --> 00:34:17,006
Why, what did you imagine?

607
00:34:17,264 --> 00:34:21,007
Well, I'm a little disappointed,
you know, I missed the civil war and

608
00:34:21,017 --> 00:34:24,509
gettysburg, and Shiloh, and manassas.

609
00:34:24,896 --> 00:34:27,638
You keep talking about the
past, are you from the future?

610
00:34:27,857 --> 00:34:32,351
Yeah, uh-huh. I can visit you
at any moment in your history.

611
00:34:32,696 --> 00:34:35,654
You know, time is really a trapezoid.

612
00:34:35,657 --> 00:34:37,318
You know what that means, don't you?

613
00:34:37,325 --> 00:34:39,031
No, I'm afraid I don't.

614
00:34:39,244 --> 00:34:40,825
You don't know what a trapezoid is?

615
00:34:43,540 --> 00:34:44,871
Well, I don't either, actually.

616
00:34:44,874 --> 00:34:46,865
That's the trouble
with school, you see,

617
00:34:46,876 --> 00:34:49,458
they make you memorize things
that your never ever gonna use.

618
00:35:09,649 --> 00:35:12,356
Kreton, what's it like in space?

619
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:16,069
Oh, it's pretty nice. Especially
if you're traveling out of season.

620
00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:17,114
Uh oh.

621
00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:19,151
- Uh oh, trouble.
- Trouble?

622
00:35:19,909 --> 00:35:20,944
Your daddy's in the study,

623
00:35:20,952 --> 00:35:23,659
and he's waiting for a call
from George Abercrombie in New York,

624
00:35:23,663 --> 00:35:25,073
and is he worried...

625
00:35:25,081 --> 00:35:27,493
You mean, you can
tell what daddy's thinking?

626
00:35:27,626 --> 00:35:29,833
Uh huh. Would you like to listen in?

627
00:35:32,589 --> 00:35:35,171
George Abercrombie,
big shot executive,

628
00:35:35,216 --> 00:35:38,299
thinks he has brains.
Well, I've got news for him.

629
00:35:38,303 --> 00:35:40,715
His brains aren't in his
head they're in his...

630
00:35:40,722 --> 00:35:41,722
Oops.

631
00:35:43,308 --> 00:35:45,173
You have to be awfully
careful of thoughts.

632
00:35:45,935 --> 00:35:48,677
Like for instance:
Your thoughts. Right now.

633
00:35:49,522 --> 00:35:51,012
I haven't a thing on my mind.

634
00:35:51,650 --> 00:35:52,685
Except Conrad.

635
00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:55,062
The truth, Ellen?

636
00:35:55,111 --> 00:35:58,524
Poor Conrad, sleeping with daddy,

637
00:35:59,157 --> 00:36:02,194
and if daddy knew what he was planning
for this weekend at the lake

638
00:36:02,243 --> 00:36:04,199
he'd strangle him in his sleep.

639
00:36:05,330 --> 00:36:06,820
No chaperones.

640
00:36:07,707 --> 00:36:08,822
I'm frighted...

641
00:36:09,584 --> 00:36:11,495
No, I'm excited.

642
00:36:12,253 --> 00:36:14,244
I'm really looking forward fo...

643
00:36:14,964 --> 00:36:17,706
He's inside. Kreton's inside my mind.

644
00:36:19,052 --> 00:36:20,508
Kreton, stop that!

645
00:36:20,929 --> 00:36:22,794
Well, Ellen, wait a minute,

646
00:36:22,847 --> 00:36:25,213
I mean, well, I
didn't mean to embarrass you.

647
00:36:25,225 --> 00:36:26,214
Well, now you know.

648
00:36:26,226 --> 00:36:28,467
Oh, kreton, the whole
thing is so mixed up.

649
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:29,520
Well, lets un-mix it.

650
00:36:30,021 --> 00:36:32,137
First, how does Conrad
feel about your father?

651
00:36:32,607 --> 00:36:34,347
I'm afraid he doesn't
like daddy very much.

652
00:36:34,359 --> 00:36:36,224
And what does your
father think about Conrad?

653
00:36:36,236 --> 00:36:37,442
Despises him.

654
00:36:37,445 --> 00:36:38,855
Well, then the first thing
we have to do is,

655
00:36:38,863 --> 00:36:40,069
change the sleeping arrangement.

656
00:36:40,073 --> 00:36:42,735
Because last night
certainly wasn't satisfactory at all.

657
00:36:42,867 --> 00:36:44,732
Now, there are 3
bedrooms and I'm in one.

658
00:36:44,744 --> 00:36:48,236
Now, let's put Mr. and Mrs.
spelding in bedroom a, together.

659
00:36:48,665 --> 00:36:50,155
Now, you and Conrad...

660
00:36:50,166 --> 00:36:52,248
Yes, this is going to
work out just fine, Ellen.

661
00:36:52,502 --> 00:36:54,663
You and Conrad can
take over bedroom b.

662
00:36:55,171 --> 00:36:57,412
But, Conrad and I, aren't married.

663
00:36:59,008 --> 00:37:01,044
Well, I didn't mean
any harm by it, Ellen.

664
00:37:01,094 --> 00:37:04,382
You have to understand that, well, you
see, where I come from, we don't tangle.

665
00:37:05,515 --> 00:37:07,346
You don't tangle?

666
00:37:07,684 --> 00:37:10,016
Oh no, we haven't
done that for a long time.

667
00:37:11,229 --> 00:37:13,311
Well, if you don't tangle...

668
00:37:14,065 --> 00:37:15,054
What do you do?

669
00:37:15,066 --> 00:37:17,057
I mean, how do you multiply?

670
00:37:17,902 --> 00:37:18,857
Multiply what?

671
00:37:18,862 --> 00:37:21,353
Each other. How do you have babies?

672
00:37:21,448 --> 00:37:24,064
- Oh we don't.
- I don't understand.

673
00:37:24,117 --> 00:37:26,608
Well, let me explain,
Ellen. You see, we have ourselves.

674
00:37:26,870 --> 00:37:29,486
And, well, since we're
for real, forever.

675
00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:31,078
Well, there's enough of us.

676
00:37:31,082 --> 00:37:32,367
Do you understand?

677
00:37:32,709 --> 00:37:34,916
So now you... never tangle.

678
00:37:35,336 --> 00:37:37,076
No, never. It's a lost art.

679
00:37:37,088 --> 00:37:40,580
Although I must admit we were
a little hasty. I think.

680
00:37:40,592 --> 00:37:43,083
But, anyway, you must
promise me that you'll let me watch,

681
00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:45,585
the next time you and Conrad
oscillate antennas.

682
00:37:46,931 --> 00:37:48,887
Oscillate antennas?

683
00:37:48,892 --> 00:37:51,099
Oh, I'm sorry. Well, that's
what they call it on Venus,

684
00:37:51,102 --> 00:37:54,720
but down here I believe they
refer to it as " pitch and woo."

685
00:37:55,064 --> 00:37:56,349
May I watch?

686
00:37:58,985 --> 00:38:00,691
Well, Ellen, what did I say now?

687
00:38:01,738 --> 00:38:04,480
That's really the one thing I
wanna see while I'm down here.

688
00:38:04,491 --> 00:38:07,073
Kreton, you've got to
stop talking like that.

689
00:38:07,202 --> 00:38:09,067
I know that you're
from another planet and all,

690
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,953
I guess we do think an
awful lot about sex down here.

691
00:38:11,998 --> 00:38:13,954
But we're not supposed to discuss it.

692
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,992
Anyway, it only
happens when nobody's looking.

693
00:38:17,378 --> 00:38:18,493
Morning, Conrad.

694
00:38:19,380 --> 00:38:20,369
Did you sleep well?

695
00:38:20,381 --> 00:38:21,962
I was up all night...

696
00:38:22,342 --> 00:38:23,172
Ell...

697
00:38:23,218 --> 00:38:25,630
Ellen, your father grinds his teeth.

698
00:38:26,012 --> 00:38:27,593
It's just gruesome.

699
00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:32,424
He's been listening to my mind.

700
00:38:32,685 --> 00:38:33,140
Huh?

701
00:38:33,186 --> 00:38:35,973
I know all about
the weekend at the lake.

702
00:38:36,231 --> 00:38:37,471
No chaperone.

703
00:38:37,482 --> 00:38:39,393
Yeah, how 'bout that?

704
00:38:41,027 --> 00:38:41,766
How'd he find out?

705
00:38:41,778 --> 00:38:43,985
I just told you. I
was thinking about you,

706
00:38:43,988 --> 00:38:45,979
and kreton saw it in my mind.

707
00:38:46,074 --> 00:38:49,487
Guess who I'm thinking about right
this minute peach blossom.

708
00:38:50,119 --> 00:38:52,485
So that's how you
earthlings do it, huh?

709
00:38:52,497 --> 00:38:54,579
Very interesting.
Very interesting, indeed.

710
00:38:55,083 --> 00:38:59,122
Well, I'm pretty well
straightened away except for one little detail.

711
00:38:59,128 --> 00:39:01,540
A teensy-winsy thing I'm
still not too sure of.

712
00:39:02,298 --> 00:39:04,163
- Which one has the baby?
- Kreton!

713
00:39:04,425 --> 00:39:07,132
Conrad, go get the car,
we'll be late for class.

714
00:39:07,303 --> 00:39:08,634
Ahh, in a minute.

715
00:39:08,930 --> 00:39:12,468
I got to go out to the barn and
give myrtle her breakfast.

716
00:39:14,936 --> 00:39:16,472
I'll take her a corn flakes box.

717
00:39:19,274 --> 00:39:21,105
I'll pick you up in a
few minutes honey child.

718
00:39:23,278 --> 00:39:24,484
Corn flake box?

719
00:39:25,488 --> 00:39:27,570
This seems much more nourishing.

720
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,488
I do believe he thinks more
of that goat than he does of me.

721
00:39:34,247 --> 00:39:35,908
What a weekend.

722
00:39:36,416 --> 00:39:40,000
I can just see her gorgeous
figure in that bathing suit.

723
00:39:40,712 --> 00:39:42,248
Wow-wee!

724
00:39:46,634 --> 00:39:48,340
Well, you're the one alright.

725
00:39:49,095 --> 00:39:51,086
Nobody ever whistled at
a goat in a bathing suit.

726
00:39:52,265 --> 00:39:54,176
Except another goat I guess.

727
00:39:55,602 --> 00:39:56,967
Oh, there you are.

728
00:39:57,854 --> 00:40:01,597
If you're not busy, Mr. kreton, my
husband would see you in the study.

729
00:40:01,858 --> 00:40:03,223
Oh, gladly.

730
00:40:04,402 --> 00:40:05,767
What are you laughing at dear?

731
00:40:05,820 --> 00:40:08,687
Conrad's goat in a bathing suit.

732
00:40:09,324 --> 00:40:11,406
Oh? Did he buy her a bathing suit?

733
00:40:11,951 --> 00:40:13,816
I didn't know she could swim.

734
00:40:20,043 --> 00:40:21,783
Why don't you hang a red
light on that thing,

735
00:40:21,794 --> 00:40:23,034
it's a menace to navigation.

736
00:40:25,381 --> 00:40:27,372
- Good morning, my boy.
- Good morning, sir.

737
00:40:27,383 --> 00:40:30,216
I need your advice. I
just spoke to New York...

738
00:40:30,219 --> 00:40:32,505
I know. You spoke to
George Abercrombie,

739
00:40:32,513 --> 00:40:33,719
and he's on his way here,

740
00:40:33,765 --> 00:40:35,346
he's arriving on
the 11 o'clock plane.

741
00:40:35,350 --> 00:40:39,639
How did you...? Oh... You
know what I'm thinking.

742
00:40:39,812 --> 00:40:42,019
Uh huh, and right now
you're pretty worried, aren't you?

743
00:40:42,023 --> 00:40:43,433
Of course I'm worried.

744
00:40:44,317 --> 00:40:45,648
That fellow's my boss.

745
00:40:46,069 --> 00:40:50,028
Hires and fires, fires
and hires, all day long.

746
00:40:53,326 --> 00:40:56,068
Why did I do that? I
never drink before breakfast.

747
00:40:57,372 --> 00:40:58,737
A drink what? What is that?

748
00:40:59,290 --> 00:41:01,747
- Bourbon.
- Bourbon? May I try?

749
00:41:01,751 --> 00:41:03,228
I'm afraid you're a
little young my boy.

750
00:41:03,252 --> 00:41:05,413
Young? Here's my
driver's license. See?

751
00:41:05,546 --> 00:41:07,127
I'm over 21.

752
00:41:08,883 --> 00:41:10,498
21 million light years?

753
00:41:10,718 --> 00:41:13,630
Yes, you should have seen my
birthday cake with all the candles.

754
00:41:14,180 --> 00:41:15,420
Burned it to a crisp.

755
00:41:15,431 --> 00:41:18,138
I'd be careful...
on an empty stomach.

756
00:41:18,184 --> 00:41:22,644
Really? Then should be a lotta fun.

757
00:41:22,647 --> 00:41:24,683
Mr. delton, are you
gonna' let him try that stuff?

758
00:41:24,732 --> 00:41:27,439
I am indeed. It'll
teach him a lesson.

759
00:41:27,443 --> 00:41:29,934
Give that lad enough
cloud and he'll hang himself.

760
00:41:29,946 --> 00:41:31,106
Good, good.

761
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:58,262
Wow, that sure was powerful stuff.

762
00:42:07,066 --> 00:42:08,476
Thank you very much.

763
00:42:11,946 --> 00:42:14,653
Now, now, you can talk
later. Time for breakfast.

764
00:42:14,907 --> 00:42:17,523
Ellen and Conrad want to drive
Mr. kreton into town with them.

765
00:42:17,535 --> 00:42:20,026
Do you like your
bacon crisp Mr. kreton?

766
00:42:20,329 --> 00:42:21,444
Yes, that'll be fine.

767
00:42:21,456 --> 00:42:24,118
Good. You shouldn't
be up there, you know.

768
00:42:24,125 --> 00:42:26,787
You'll get footprints
all over the ceiling.

769
00:42:27,003 --> 00:42:30,495
Oh, by the way, you can
make my eggs, sunny side down.

770
00:42:32,842 --> 00:42:34,582
Now that's silly.

771
00:42:37,430 --> 00:42:39,512
Now I know what they
mean by "being high".

772
00:42:39,599 --> 00:42:41,089
Let's have another one.

773
00:43:03,581 --> 00:43:06,221
Well, I'm beginning to
understand how they do things here on earth.

774
00:43:06,542 --> 00:43:07,952
When Conrad tickles your ear,

775
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:09,370
that makes the motor go, right?

776
00:43:09,378 --> 00:43:12,541
Conrad, tickling my ear, has
nothing to do with the motor.

777
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:14,046
It has to do with your motor?

778
00:43:14,092 --> 00:43:16,299
You oughta try it sometime.

779
00:43:16,969 --> 00:43:18,880
Love... it's wonderful.

780
00:43:18,888 --> 00:43:20,549
Oh, well, we gave up ages ago.

781
00:43:20,556 --> 00:43:22,547
It took us darn near
forever to stamp out disease.

782
00:43:22,558 --> 00:43:26,471
Scarlet fever, mumps,
anxiety, the common cold and finally,

783
00:43:26,687 --> 00:43:28,678
that great killer: Passion.

784
00:43:29,524 --> 00:43:30,684
You gave up passion?

785
00:43:30,942 --> 00:43:32,978
Oh yeah, we don't feel
anything. We don't do anything.

786
00:43:32,985 --> 00:43:36,193
Inside we're sort of
like... Cold spaghetti, you know?

787
00:43:36,781 --> 00:43:39,818
- Sounds terribly dull.
- Well, it is, a little.

788
00:43:40,535 --> 00:43:42,651
You go right ahead,
Conrad. Don't mind me.

789
00:43:44,705 --> 00:43:46,787
Oh, I'm sorry, I was watching.

790
00:43:56,092 --> 00:43:58,208
Unless we get moving
soon we're going to be late.

791
00:44:18,614 --> 00:44:21,481
Kreton, you did that.
How'd you ever do it?

792
00:44:21,784 --> 00:44:23,570
Very simple. I just thought
him into the air.

793
00:44:23,578 --> 00:44:25,068
The next policeman is yours.

794
00:44:25,079 --> 00:44:27,070
- Oh, may I?
- Sure!

795
00:44:27,874 --> 00:44:30,490
- Hey, this is fun.
- Oh, it sure is.

796
00:44:35,798 --> 00:44:37,629
- Oh, is this is one mine?
- Be my guest.

797
00:44:37,633 --> 00:44:39,339
- Oh no.
- What do I do?

798
00:44:39,343 --> 00:44:42,085
Well, just focus all your
thoughts on that policeman.

799
00:44:42,096 --> 00:44:44,303
- Ellen, please.
- Conrad, watch this.

800
00:44:48,728 --> 00:44:49,513
Nothing happened.

801
00:44:49,562 --> 00:44:51,974
That's because you're
not concentrating, Ellen.

802
00:44:52,273 --> 00:44:55,185
Now, concentrate. Lift the cop.

803
00:44:56,819 --> 00:44:58,525
Lift the cop.

804
00:45:03,284 --> 00:45:05,991
Conrad! I did it! He
moved! He really moved!

805
00:45:05,995 --> 00:45:07,280
That was wonderful, Ellen.

806
00:45:07,288 --> 00:45:09,370
Tomorrow I'll teach
you to lift buildings.

807
00:45:09,373 --> 00:45:10,613
Isn't this fun?

808
00:45:11,042 --> 00:45:12,077
Hey!

809
00:45:12,501 --> 00:45:14,662
Would you kindly stop
flirting with my girl?

810
00:45:15,087 --> 00:45:16,873
Well, I didn't mean any harm, Conrad.

811
00:45:18,257 --> 00:45:20,293
Inside, cold spaghetti, remember?

812
00:45:20,301 --> 00:45:21,507
Cold spaghetti nothing.

813
00:45:21,510 --> 00:45:23,876
You got a hot Chile look in your eye!

814
00:45:29,060 --> 00:45:30,470
Look, look, here he comes.

815
00:45:30,478 --> 00:45:31,968
You'll probably wind up in jail.

816
00:45:32,521 --> 00:45:35,228
Oh, we can't do that. It
would spoil our whole day.

817
00:45:35,399 --> 00:45:38,391
Uh, watch him. I'll
give him an 8 the easy way.

818
00:45:52,416 --> 00:45:54,176
You know your way
back home, don't you fella?

819
00:45:54,293 --> 00:45:56,013
Well, I found my way
to the earth didn't 1?

820
00:45:56,504 --> 00:45:58,995
That's a lot easier than
finding your way out of a turnpike.

821
00:45:59,465 --> 00:46:00,465
On.

822
00:46:00,633 --> 00:46:03,295
Well... thanks for the car, Conrad.

823
00:46:03,594 --> 00:46:05,175
I'll be careful.

824
00:46:31,289 --> 00:46:33,746
These turnpikes are
murder. Ain't they bud?

825
00:46:34,125 --> 00:46:35,740
Oh, they're not so
bad, just follow me.

826
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:56,181
Flash! Ladies and gentlemen,

827
00:46:56,188 --> 00:46:58,600
the most remarkable event
in the history of Virginia

828
00:46:58,607 --> 00:47:00,313
has just occurred in manassas.

829
00:47:00,693 --> 00:47:02,684
At exactly 9:37 am,

830
00:47:02,695 --> 00:47:04,276
at the Richmond interchange...

831
00:47:04,655 --> 00:47:07,192
Mary had a wittle wamb.

832
00:47:07,742 --> 00:47:10,279
Its fleece was white as show

833
00:47:10,703 --> 00:47:13,365
and everywhere that Mary went

834
00:47:13,748 --> 00:47:16,080
the wamb was sure to go.

835
00:47:22,506 --> 00:47:23,996
Hi Clementine.

836
00:47:32,141 --> 00:47:35,178
Oh, hi honey. Well, how are you?

837
00:47:37,063 --> 00:47:38,303
Now what's this all about?

838
00:47:38,314 --> 00:47:41,602
Everyday the same old routine.

839
00:47:41,901 --> 00:47:43,812
And I'm getting pretty tired of it.

840
00:47:44,028 --> 00:47:48,112
Here he comes, the
terror of manassas.

841
00:47:50,826 --> 00:47:53,192
Here, here now neighbors
should be friends.

842
00:47:53,204 --> 00:47:54,785
Now, I want you two to shake hands.

843
00:47:54,830 --> 00:47:57,321
I positively refuse!

844
00:47:59,043 --> 00:48:02,627
Right in the eye.
You call her a lady?

845
00:48:02,630 --> 00:48:04,336
Alright now stop this bickering

846
00:48:04,340 --> 00:48:06,831
and I'm not leaving here
until you two kiss and make up.

847
00:48:06,842 --> 00:48:11,427
I won't kiss him but he can kiss me.

848
00:48:16,060 --> 00:48:18,426
There, now that wasn't
so terrible was it?

849
00:48:21,399 --> 00:48:23,936
Dames, she really loves it.

850
00:48:30,866 --> 00:48:31,981
Mrs. spelding...

851
00:48:34,620 --> 00:48:38,033
Roger's been in there listening to
mr Abercrombie for almost an hour.

852
00:48:38,416 --> 00:48:39,656
I don't like that ambercrombie.

853
00:48:40,376 --> 00:48:42,537
I'm sure Roger's
going to lose his job.

854
00:48:43,504 --> 00:48:45,995
Don't you worry about
that mrs spelding.

855
00:48:46,006 --> 00:48:47,025
We're fraternity brothers!

856
00:48:47,049 --> 00:48:49,040
You've made a few
mistakes too many old man.

857
00:48:50,636 --> 00:48:51,716
George, if you're saying...

858
00:48:51,762 --> 00:48:53,468
I'm saying that viewer wise,

859
00:48:53,472 --> 00:48:55,758
sponsor wise, information wise.

860
00:48:55,766 --> 00:48:58,803
You, spelding, are
low man on the totem pole.

861
00:48:58,811 --> 00:49:02,303
The flag is down the lifeboats are
gone and the ship is sinking.

862
00:49:03,023 --> 00:49:05,355
- And I'm the captain?
- But not for long.

863
00:49:05,901 --> 00:49:07,732
You're going down for the third time.

864
00:49:08,696 --> 00:49:09,651
Who's this joker?

865
00:49:09,655 --> 00:49:11,896
Kreton? Oh, he's a visitor here.

866
00:49:12,408 --> 00:49:14,319
Last night about 7 o'clock

867
00:49:14,452 --> 00:49:17,319
Mary had a wittle wamb
its fleece was white as...

868
00:49:17,371 --> 00:49:20,283
Spelding! Are you in
your second childhood?

869
00:49:21,542 --> 00:49:24,329
Yes sir, there's no
other explanation.

870
00:49:25,129 --> 00:49:28,621
Abercrombie, I've been looking
forward to meeting you for a long time.

871
00:49:28,674 --> 00:49:30,039
You've always been a-1 on my ship

872
00:49:30,050 --> 00:49:32,257
ever since the
lifeboat went up the totem pole.

873
00:49:33,179 --> 00:49:34,464
I beg your pardon?

874
00:49:34,472 --> 00:49:37,384
What I mean to say man is
you're the talk of Madison Avenue.

875
00:49:37,766 --> 00:49:42,135
Oh? Oh well... aren't
you exaggerating a trifle?

876
00:49:42,229 --> 00:49:45,847
Not a bit. How about that
humdinger of a deal you pulled on.

877
00:49:45,858 --> 00:49:48,144
Bb. Dd. Jj. And w, huh?

878
00:49:49,028 --> 00:49:52,520
You really gave them the old stabbed
in the back. Knife wise.

879
00:49:53,741 --> 00:49:55,652
I really pulled a fast
one there didn't I.

880
00:49:57,161 --> 00:49:58,161
Wait a minute.

881
00:49:58,370 --> 00:50:01,453
Nobody knew about the bb,
dd, jj, and w deal, not even w.

882
00:50:01,457 --> 00:50:02,947
How did you find out?

883
00:50:02,958 --> 00:50:04,949
Well don't tell me. From my wife.

884
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:06,575
No! Eloise.

885
00:50:06,587 --> 00:50:09,750
Shh! Nobody knows about Eloise.

886
00:50:09,882 --> 00:50:10,837
Not even your wife.

887
00:50:10,883 --> 00:50:12,419
- Are you sure?
- I'm sure.

888
00:50:12,426 --> 00:50:13,040
He's sure.

889
00:50:13,052 --> 00:50:14,963
Oh, good good.

890
00:50:14,970 --> 00:50:17,552
You see when a man
has a wife like mine

891
00:50:17,598 --> 00:50:20,340
and Eloise, like Eloise.

892
00:50:20,392 --> 00:50:23,259
Well, he can get in an awful mess.

893
00:50:23,270 --> 00:50:25,261
Would you pardon me, I
want to get some more ice.

894
00:50:25,272 --> 00:50:26,272
Sure.

895
00:50:27,399 --> 00:50:28,764
What's he thinking about?
Am I going to lose my job?

896
00:50:28,776 --> 00:50:31,358
Very important to
get rid of spelding.

897
00:50:31,362 --> 00:50:32,772
I'm sunk.

898
00:50:32,780 --> 00:50:34,691
Oh no you're not.

899
00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:36,563
Oh, eh, spelding.

900
00:50:37,451 --> 00:50:40,067
I suggest we let this
simmer in the pot for a while.

901
00:50:40,079 --> 00:50:43,367
And about that bb,
dd, jj, and w business.

902
00:50:43,374 --> 00:50:46,537
And... Eloise.

903
00:50:46,794 --> 00:50:48,159
This is strictly
"entre nous" of course.

904
00:50:48,170 --> 00:50:49,285
Oh, of course.

905
00:50:49,296 --> 00:50:50,376
I won't say a word.

906
00:50:50,714 --> 00:50:53,251
No, not as long as you still
have your job eh, mr spelding.

907
00:50:53,259 --> 00:50:54,669
Oh I get it, blackmail!

908
00:50:54,677 --> 00:50:57,384
It's not bad... blackmail.

909
00:50:57,471 --> 00:50:59,177
No, I use it all the time myself.

910
00:51:01,016 --> 00:51:03,723
You've got quite a future in
the advertising game young man.

911
00:51:05,437 --> 00:51:06,927
Cheerio.

912
00:51:08,607 --> 00:51:10,438
- Goodbye George.
- Oh, goodbye rheba.

913
00:51:10,484 --> 00:51:12,349
Remember me to your charming wife.

914
00:51:13,070 --> 00:51:15,152
Oh, yes of course.

915
00:51:17,449 --> 00:51:20,737
Thanks, my boy. You saved my neck.

916
00:51:20,786 --> 00:51:21,901
Well, I don't like him.

917
00:51:21,912 --> 00:51:23,322
How'd everything go dear?

918
00:51:23,372 --> 00:51:26,114
Fine, just fine, thanks
to our young friend here.

919
00:51:26,166 --> 00:51:28,077
He really straightened
old George out.

920
00:51:28,210 --> 00:51:29,950
Glad to have been of service, sir.

921
00:51:31,005 --> 00:51:34,668
Aah. What a great
son-in-law he'd make.

922
00:51:35,509 --> 00:51:38,546
- You mean instead of Conrad?
- I certainly do.

923
00:51:38,929 --> 00:51:42,717
Well, I don't know...
sputniks, for grandchildren

924
00:51:42,933 --> 00:51:45,265
but I don't think
parents should interfere,

925
00:51:45,269 --> 00:51:49,979
mine didn't or I wouldn't be Mrs. Roger
Putnam-spelding, would I dear?

926
00:51:55,571 --> 00:51:58,984
Conrad, you know what I think
we oughta do tonight?

927
00:51:59,199 --> 00:52:02,066
- Get married?
- No, silly.

928
00:52:02,161 --> 00:52:04,368
I think we should take kreton
to the "hungry brain."

929
00:52:04,371 --> 00:52:06,703
- He might enjoy it.
- I wouldn't enjoy it.

930
00:52:06,707 --> 00:52:07,867
Not with him.

931
00:52:08,459 --> 00:52:10,996
- You're jealous.
- I can't help it.

932
00:52:11,003 --> 00:52:12,459
Baby doll, marry me.

933
00:52:13,464 --> 00:52:16,877
Darling, I can't.
Daddy would be furious.

934
00:52:16,884 --> 00:52:19,170
If your daddy thought it would
get me out of his bedroom tonight

935
00:52:19,178 --> 00:52:21,009
he'd forge the wedding license.

936
00:52:21,096 --> 00:52:24,008
Darling, I just can't marry you.

937
00:52:24,850 --> 00:52:28,559
You're sweet, but
maybe what I really want,

938
00:52:28,562 --> 00:52:32,851
what I really need, is someone who'd
drag me around be the hair.

939
00:52:37,363 --> 00:52:38,978
Oh, you started. Good.

940
00:52:39,365 --> 00:52:42,198
Oh don't mind me, I
won't make a sound.

941
00:52:42,785 --> 00:52:45,197
I'll just sit back here and
take notes. You go right ahead.

942
00:52:45,329 --> 00:52:48,366
Kreton, we went all through
that this morning.

943
00:52:48,874 --> 00:52:50,580
It's not polite to snoop on people.

944
00:52:50,584 --> 00:52:52,074
That's right mister.

945
00:52:52,127 --> 00:52:53,833
Well, I didn't mean
any harm. I'm sorry.

946
00:52:54,004 --> 00:52:57,622
Kreton, Conrad and I have
decided to take you out tonight.

947
00:52:57,716 --> 00:52:59,047
You decided..

948
00:52:59,051 --> 00:53:00,211
We decided.

949
00:53:00,219 --> 00:53:01,379
No we didn't.

950
00:53:01,387 --> 00:53:02,752
Yes we did!

951
00:53:02,763 --> 00:53:04,128
Well, I'm not going!

952
00:53:04,139 --> 00:53:05,845
Then we'll go alone!

953
00:53:06,058 --> 00:53:08,765
Mister, I don't approve of my
girl going out with strange men.

954
00:53:08,811 --> 00:53:11,302
Kreton is not strange!

955
00:53:11,438 --> 00:53:13,099
They don't come any stranger!

956
00:53:17,486 --> 00:53:22,150
Kreton, you and I are going
to the hungry brain tonight.

957
00:53:22,324 --> 00:53:23,905
Oh wonderful!

958
00:53:25,035 --> 00:53:25,899
What is it?

959
00:53:25,994 --> 00:53:28,906
Well, it's our favorite
rendezvous. And it's out of this world.

960
00:53:28,914 --> 00:53:31,155
Out of this world? I'd
better dress for it.

961
00:54:01,572 --> 00:54:02,607
Well, here we are.

962
00:54:02,698 --> 00:54:03,698
On the moon?

963
00:54:03,866 --> 00:54:05,276
On the moon! No.

964
00:54:05,325 --> 00:54:07,111
No Ellen, the hungry brain.

965
00:54:07,536 --> 00:54:08,536
Come on dear.

966
00:54:09,747 --> 00:54:12,204
What's the matter Ellen, you're trembling.
Did I drive too fast for you?

967
00:54:12,207 --> 00:54:16,621
No, it's just that I never cross the
river before without using the bridge.

968
00:54:17,004 --> 00:54:19,370
Kreton, don't you
know what Bridges are for?

969
00:54:20,215 --> 00:54:22,171
Yeah, to shade the fish.

970
00:54:28,348 --> 00:54:29,838
Mr. mayberry.

971
00:54:30,225 --> 00:54:31,840
Thank you!

972
00:54:37,107 --> 00:54:38,597
Let's go.

973
00:54:39,943 --> 00:54:41,683
Man, now that's out.

974
00:54:42,321 --> 00:54:44,903
That's so out, he ain't ever been in.

975
00:55:07,012 --> 00:55:08,627
Well, real old fashioned music.

976
00:55:08,639 --> 00:55:09,799
I think this is going to be fun.

977
00:55:09,807 --> 00:55:11,672
- Good evening, miss. Spelding.
- Good evening.

978
00:55:11,767 --> 00:55:12,767
Right this way, please.

979
00:55:40,295 --> 00:55:42,377
This cat must be our new leader.

980
00:55:42,548 --> 00:55:44,630
Well, if he ain't, let's elect him.

981
00:55:46,802 --> 00:55:49,418
Crazy. He's a real kook.

982
00:55:49,847 --> 00:55:51,132
Hey kook!

983
00:56:22,671 --> 00:56:26,960
Like uh... who's the new member?

984
00:56:27,175 --> 00:56:29,507
I don't know baby but
he sure looks cool.

985
00:56:30,345 --> 00:56:32,256
Welcome to inner space brother.

986
00:56:32,306 --> 00:56:33,512
Oh, thank you.

987
00:56:33,724 --> 00:56:38,218
Say, that's a real crazy
looking pair of jeans you have dad.

988
00:56:38,437 --> 00:56:39,802
Who laid the threads on you?

989
00:56:40,188 --> 00:56:41,348
Jeans? Threads?

990
00:56:41,398 --> 00:56:44,356
Like who's your tailor,
baby, and where can we find him?

991
00:56:44,526 --> 00:56:46,812
Oh, my tailor. Well, do you
know where the milky way is?

992
00:56:46,820 --> 00:56:48,401
Yeah the...

993
00:56:49,406 --> 00:56:50,406
The milky way.

994
00:56:51,199 --> 00:56:53,656
Yeah, yeah the milky
way. Go baby wail.

995
00:56:53,744 --> 00:56:55,826
Well, you turn right
at the second nebula

996
00:56:55,829 --> 00:56:59,492
and it's the third planet at
the end of the star cluster.

997
00:56:59,541 --> 00:57:02,123
You just ask for Mr. de
Milo and tell him I sent ya'.

998
00:57:02,836 --> 00:57:04,622
Man this cat talks off the top.

999
00:57:05,547 --> 00:57:06,547
He's tuned in.

1000
00:57:07,257 --> 00:57:08,212
Tell me double hipness.

1001
00:57:08,258 --> 00:57:11,170
What floor do you get out of
when you split from the cloud.

1002
00:57:12,179 --> 00:57:13,794
Oh, we don't use floors.

1003
00:57:13,931 --> 00:57:15,341
You don't use floors?

1004
00:57:15,599 --> 00:57:17,385
Oh no, we use fog.

1005
00:57:17,768 --> 00:57:20,805
It's much softer and
far easier to keep clean.

1006
00:57:21,521 --> 00:57:23,102
Quite a group aren't they?

1007
00:57:23,815 --> 00:57:25,021
Oh yes they are.

1008
00:57:25,609 --> 00:57:28,100
Except I'm a little
curious Ellen, tell me one thing...

1009
00:57:28,278 --> 00:57:30,360
What are they:
Animal, mineral or vegetable?

1010
00:57:30,405 --> 00:57:32,942
There people silly. Beatniks.

1011
00:57:34,952 --> 00:57:38,319
Man, what we're
trying to find out is,

1012
00:57:38,664 --> 00:57:41,030
where you planted here or
did you come in on the beam?

1013
00:57:42,250 --> 00:57:44,332
He wants to know where you come from?

1014
00:57:44,962 --> 00:57:46,418
Perhaps you'd rather not tell.

1015
00:57:46,797 --> 00:57:49,880
Oh no, I don't mind. I'm
sure they won't say anything.

1016
00:57:50,759 --> 00:57:51,759
Oh I'm sorry.

1017
00:57:51,802 --> 00:57:53,758
I come from x-47.

1018
00:57:54,304 --> 00:57:56,386
I live right near that
tailor I told you about.

1019
00:57:56,390 --> 00:57:57,254
Out past the milky way.

1020
00:57:57,265 --> 00:58:00,428
Out... past... the milky way.

1021
00:58:00,477 --> 00:58:01,477
Past.

1022
00:58:02,020 --> 00:58:04,477
Oh man, this cat's
really from out of town.

1023
00:58:04,940 --> 00:58:06,896
Alright boys take five.

1024
00:58:18,328 --> 00:58:20,306
Hey man, we've been
watching you from the bandstand.

1025
00:58:20,330 --> 00:58:20,944
Oh really?

1026
00:58:21,081 --> 00:58:22,742
Yeah, you look out enough to make it.

1027
00:58:23,375 --> 00:58:24,855
Would you dig wailing with the group?

1028
00:58:25,335 --> 00:58:27,667
Oh well, thank you, but
I'm not a musician.

1029
00:58:28,088 --> 00:58:30,295
Although, I think I
would like to play those.

1030
00:58:30,424 --> 00:58:31,755
- The skins?
- Skins?

1031
00:58:32,300 --> 00:58:33,790
The bongos man!

1032
00:58:33,927 --> 00:58:35,713
Oh yeah, the bongos, yeah.

1033
00:58:35,721 --> 00:58:37,177
Crazy, let's make it.

1034
00:58:41,935 --> 00:58:43,721
Like now let's split.

1035
00:58:43,895 --> 00:58:48,639
Well, if it's all the same to you, I
think I'd like to play them from here.

1036
00:58:50,902 --> 00:58:53,484
You want to play those... from there?

1037
00:58:53,905 --> 00:58:54,905
Yeah.

1038
00:59:52,380 --> 00:59:54,166
Kreton, how did you do that?

1039
00:59:55,175 --> 00:59:56,210
Oh, uh...

1040
00:59:56,343 --> 00:59:59,255
Well, it's quite simple,
see, many, many diffrent...

1041
01:00:16,947 --> 01:00:19,279
This is a very sad story.

1042
01:00:19,699 --> 01:00:21,189
You see, it's all about a girl

1043
01:00:21,910 --> 01:00:24,151
who fell in love with
a no good rat Nick,

1044
01:00:24,329 --> 01:00:26,160
and it's very touching actually.

1045
01:00:40,053 --> 01:00:42,544
Cuckoo!

1046
01:00:57,487 --> 01:01:01,730
A little kids a drop
deserted her. Oh my god. Why?

1047
01:01:12,586 --> 01:01:14,577
Cuckoo!

1048
01:01:34,191 --> 01:01:35,806
Oh, I'll be alright.

1049
01:01:36,318 --> 01:01:40,152
It was a lovely number. Too
bad she left out the best part.

1050
01:01:40,697 --> 01:01:42,608
What part did she leave out?

1051
01:01:43,408 --> 01:01:44,408
The part...

1052
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:47,116
Where her father makes it like he...

1053
01:01:47,245 --> 01:01:49,611
He doesn't know he did...

1054
01:01:49,664 --> 01:01:51,871
Kreton, now come on.

1055
01:01:52,209 --> 01:01:54,325
I get all chocked up when I hear...

1056
01:02:01,551 --> 01:02:03,257
Do you mind if I borrow your man?

1057
01:02:04,512 --> 01:02:05,877
No, I won't.

1058
01:02:05,889 --> 01:02:07,971
Life's a drag daddy-o.

1059
01:02:08,099 --> 01:02:09,305
Let's make it.

1060
01:02:10,101 --> 01:02:12,012
Oh, well, thank you,
but I'm with her.

1061
01:02:12,187 --> 01:02:14,769
No daddy-o, you're with "it".

1062
01:02:20,237 --> 01:02:21,898
Come on, honey.

1063
01:02:22,822 --> 01:02:25,609
Buzz over to my "hive".

1064
01:02:29,663 --> 01:02:32,700
Just watch my hand closely.

1065
01:02:33,708 --> 01:02:38,372
Nooo, you're watching too hard.

1066
01:02:38,630 --> 01:02:41,167
- Just cool it, man, cool it.
- Cool it.

1067
01:02:41,424 --> 01:02:42,424
Yeah.

1068
01:02:47,097 --> 01:02:49,304
- There we go.
- Crazy.

1069
01:05:21,376 --> 01:05:23,788
Mr. delton should see me now.

1070
01:05:24,003 --> 01:05:27,416
I can young man. I see you very well.

1071
01:05:33,638 --> 01:05:35,594
Kreton, you were just wonderful.

1072
01:05:35,598 --> 01:05:38,715
Oh, it wasn't anything. You
know, sometimes you do things

1073
01:05:38,768 --> 01:05:42,511
and you're not really aware of what's
going on because your just doing...

1074
01:05:44,023 --> 01:05:45,684
Ellen, what are you
doing under the table?

1075
01:05:45,692 --> 01:05:47,182
- I've had it!
- This is ridiculous.

1076
01:05:47,235 --> 01:05:50,068
Shave my beard and call
me normal! Let's go!

1077
01:05:51,072 --> 01:05:53,108
Oh I didn't mean it!

1078
01:05:54,242 --> 01:05:55,527
Don't be scared!

1079
01:05:56,369 --> 01:05:57,108
I didn't...

1080
01:05:57,162 --> 01:05:58,277
Wait a minute. I...

1081
01:05:58,580 --> 01:06:01,196
Kreton, will you
come down from there?

1082
01:06:01,416 --> 01:06:05,910
I'm sorry, Ellen, I guess Mr.
delton saw more than I figured.

1083
01:06:13,720 --> 01:06:15,676
Say, what are those
cars doing over there?

1084
01:06:15,847 --> 01:06:17,678
That's inspiration point.

1085
01:06:18,016 --> 01:06:20,098
Don't they have a lover's
Lane where you come from?

1086
01:06:20,268 --> 01:06:22,133
Oh no. We gave that
up a long time ago.

1087
01:06:22,353 --> 01:06:24,935
Along with mahjong
and community singing.

1088
01:06:25,732 --> 01:06:28,940
Would you like to go over
and... Park for a while?

1089
01:06:29,235 --> 01:06:31,351
Yeah, that might be interesting.

1090
01:06:34,157 --> 01:06:35,488
Hey, kill the lights!

1091
01:06:35,492 --> 01:06:36,492
Turn them off!

1092
01:06:36,576 --> 01:06:37,782
Turn those lights down!

1093
01:06:41,623 --> 01:06:42,282
Turn those lights down!

1094
01:06:42,290 --> 01:06:43,951
Turn off those lights.

1095
01:06:50,965 --> 01:06:53,081
It seems pretty dull to me.

1096
01:06:53,259 --> 01:06:55,466
They're just sitting there and
they're not even talking.

1097
01:06:55,845 --> 01:06:58,427
The reason they're not
talking is because they're cuddling.

1098
01:06:59,599 --> 01:07:01,339
Look at that gorgeous moon.

1099
01:07:01,809 --> 01:07:03,674
Doesn't the moon
mean anything to you?

1100
01:07:03,853 --> 01:07:04,808
Of course.

1101
01:07:04,854 --> 01:07:06,970
Last stop for gas before Mars.

1102
01:07:07,565 --> 01:07:10,272
The moon kreton, spells romance.

1103
01:07:11,528 --> 01:07:14,361
That boy and that
girl they're kissing.

1104
01:07:14,864 --> 01:07:16,650
The moon did that.

1105
01:07:17,158 --> 01:07:18,489
Well now?

1106
01:07:19,702 --> 01:07:21,408
Is kissing really fun?

1107
01:07:21,996 --> 01:07:24,078
Why don't you try it and find out?

1108
01:07:24,457 --> 01:07:26,539
That's a splendid idea. I'll
run over and ask them.

1109
01:07:26,543 --> 01:07:29,159
Kreton, there's no need
to make such a long trip.

1110
01:07:29,546 --> 01:07:31,286
Stay here.

1111
01:07:32,382 --> 01:07:33,963
I believe I will try it.

1112
01:07:40,098 --> 01:07:42,555
It is sanitary but
it isn't as much fun.

1113
01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:44,591
I'd better get rid
of that old barrier.

1114
01:07:59,701 --> 01:08:00,941
Oh, I like that.

1115
01:08:02,161 --> 01:08:03,276
You know something?

1116
01:08:03,288 --> 01:08:04,869
We're going to do that again.

1117
01:08:04,914 --> 01:08:06,825
That's what he thinks.

1118
01:08:12,130 --> 01:08:15,167
Kreton this will never
do, there isn't any "oomph".

1119
01:08:15,592 --> 01:08:18,709
On the contrary, I felt a
definite ping in my left vertebrae.

1120
01:08:18,845 --> 01:08:20,460
Let's have another whirl at it.

1121
01:08:21,681 --> 01:08:22,681
Great.

1122
01:08:23,933 --> 01:08:26,265
- Oh boy.
- Another ping?

1123
01:08:26,561 --> 01:08:29,177
And a pong and a wing ding dong.

1124
01:08:36,446 --> 01:08:39,609
I melted it. I melted
it. It's the real thing.

1125
01:08:40,158 --> 01:08:41,318
I'm in love.

1126
01:08:42,201 --> 01:08:43,816
Exactly as I anticipated.

1127
01:08:44,203 --> 01:08:46,945
- He's become an earthling.
- Oh, what a wonderful feeling, Ellen.

1128
01:08:46,998 --> 01:08:51,332
He asked for it and I'm afraid
he's going to get it.

1129
01:08:55,506 --> 01:08:59,249
- What was that?
- I must have blown a fuse.

1130
01:09:26,454 --> 01:09:28,445
- Ellen, do you know why...?
- It's all my fault.

1131
01:09:28,623 --> 01:09:30,534
I should never have let you kiss me.

1132
01:09:30,917 --> 01:09:34,535
Well, Ellen, don't worry,
I- I'm gonna do the right thing.

1133
01:09:34,754 --> 01:09:36,836
I'm gonna ask your
father, for your hand in marriage.

1134
01:09:37,048 --> 01:09:38,333
Marriage?

1135
01:09:39,217 --> 01:09:40,878
For my hand in...?

1136
01:09:41,010 --> 01:09:43,592
Kreton, do you
realize what you're saying?

1137
01:09:43,888 --> 01:09:45,844
Well of course I realize, Ellen.

1138
01:09:46,432 --> 01:09:48,263
And all the time you
thought was a cad.

1139
01:09:48,434 --> 01:09:49,890
Well, coming up?

1140
01:09:49,977 --> 01:09:52,514
No, I think I'll go
get some hot milk,

1141
01:09:52,563 --> 01:09:55,600
or cold milk or something.

1142
01:09:55,650 --> 01:09:57,686
I'll see you in the morning, kreton.

1143
01:09:57,735 --> 01:09:58,850
Happy, Ellen?

1144
01:09:58,945 --> 01:10:01,436
Well, not exactly happy. I'm more...

1145
01:10:01,489 --> 01:10:03,571
More ecstatic. Yeah, me too.

1146
01:10:03,700 --> 01:10:05,691
I'm floating on air.

1147
01:10:10,832 --> 01:10:12,618
I heard that
outer-space carpetbagger.

1148
01:10:12,667 --> 01:10:13,998
You're not going to marry him.

1149
01:10:14,335 --> 01:10:16,917
- Are you?
- Of course not, darling.

1150
01:10:17,338 --> 01:10:19,954
I just don't want
to hurt his feelings.

1151
01:10:19,966 --> 01:10:22,173
What about my feelings.
I'm human, too.

1152
01:10:22,927 --> 01:10:25,794
What do I mean "too", he's not
human. Lord knows what he is.

1153
01:10:26,055 --> 01:10:30,264
Well, whatever he is,
kreton is kind and sweet and nice.

1154
01:10:31,102 --> 01:10:33,138
Oh Conrad, what am I going to do?

1155
01:10:33,479 --> 01:10:34,969
You're gonna marry me, that's
what you're gonna do.

1156
01:10:34,981 --> 01:10:37,097
- We're going to elope.
- Oh, Conrad.

1157
01:10:37,150 --> 01:10:38,890
Just as soon as I
finish this sandwich.

1158
01:11:01,048 --> 01:11:04,836
You know rags? Ellen and I
are really meant for each other.

1159
01:11:05,553 --> 01:11:07,043
It's really true love.

1160
01:11:08,556 --> 01:11:10,592
I know Ellen and I
are from different worlds,

1161
01:11:10,641 --> 01:11:12,222
but that shouldn't be an obstacle.

1162
01:11:12,518 --> 01:11:14,930
Personally, I don't
believe in mixed marriages.

1163
01:11:15,062 --> 01:11:17,474
- Look at me.
- Why, you look just fine.

1164
01:11:17,857 --> 01:11:23,022
Fine? My mother was a Mexican
chihuahua and my father, a labrador retriever.

1165
01:11:23,321 --> 01:11:26,813
How'd you like to walk around with
a warm nose and a cold tail.

1166
01:11:27,909 --> 01:11:29,820
Oh rags, goodnight.

1167
01:11:35,875 --> 01:11:38,241
That poor earthling, Conrad.

1168
01:11:39,587 --> 01:11:42,124
He thinks he's going
to elope with Ellen.

1169
01:11:43,090 --> 01:11:44,546
But I know better.

1170
01:11:45,468 --> 01:11:47,004
That's what he thinks.

1171
01:11:47,261 --> 01:11:48,967
And you know what's funny, rags?

1172
01:11:49,347 --> 01:11:53,841
Mr. delton doesn't have the
slightest idea about what's going on.

1173
01:11:54,018 --> 01:11:55,849
That's what he thinks.

1174
01:11:56,103 --> 01:11:59,846
Mr. delton thinks that falling in
love will get me into trouble.

1175
01:12:00,358 --> 01:12:03,600
That's what he thinks,
boy is he wrong.

1176
01:12:03,736 --> 01:12:05,522
That's what he thinks.

1177
01:12:33,683 --> 01:12:35,264
Good morning, dear.

1178
01:12:36,060 --> 01:12:37,800
Young ones not down yet?

1179
01:12:40,273 --> 01:12:43,606
Kreton, Conrad, breakfast is ready.

1180
01:12:44,318 --> 01:12:46,650
- Where's Ellen?
- I don't know.

1181
01:12:46,696 --> 01:12:48,982
She wasn't in bed when
I woke up this morning.

1182
01:12:49,031 --> 01:12:51,192
Neither was Conrad
when I woke... up...

1183
01:12:52,159 --> 01:12:54,946
They both must have
had early classes today.

1184
01:13:04,046 --> 01:13:07,288
- Good morning, Mr. spelding.
- Good morning, my boy.

1185
01:13:07,466 --> 01:13:10,629
- Well, you're in a good mood I see.
- Oh, never better.

1186
01:13:10,803 --> 01:13:12,088
Listen to this:

1187
01:13:12,179 --> 01:13:14,795
"The amalgamated
television network today renewed."

1188
01:13:14,849 --> 01:13:19,843
"Roger Putnam spelding's contract
for another 5 years."

1189
01:13:20,062 --> 01:13:21,427
It's your work my boy.

1190
01:13:21,522 --> 01:13:23,262
I want you to know that
I'm deeply grateful.

1191
01:13:23,357 --> 01:13:24,893
Well, don't mention it...

1192
01:13:26,068 --> 01:13:28,059
- Dad.
- Dad?

1193
01:13:28,279 --> 01:13:31,487
- Well, Mr. spelding...
- Yes?

1194
01:13:32,408 --> 01:13:34,865
You see, there comes a
time in every spaceman's life,

1195
01:13:34,911 --> 01:13:37,323
when he finally meets
the girl of his clouds.

1196
01:13:37,622 --> 01:13:41,831
Now, you see sir, I've put away enough
blue dingles not only to support...

1197
01:13:41,876 --> 01:13:44,083
Roger, Mr. kreton, come quickly.

1198
01:13:44,086 --> 01:13:48,295
This is actually the uh... point I'm
uh... trying to make Mr. spelding uh...

1199
01:13:48,341 --> 01:13:50,548
You see, Mr. spelding... oh.

1200
01:13:51,802 --> 01:13:52,882
Now what is it?

1201
01:13:52,887 --> 01:13:55,594
- The most wonderful thing has happened.
- What happened?

1202
01:13:55,681 --> 01:13:58,593
They married. Conrad and
Ellen are husband and wife.

1203
01:13:58,643 --> 01:14:01,009
- Husband and wife?
- They did elope.

1204
01:14:01,270 --> 01:14:02,806
- You see, dad...
- Dadi?!

1205
01:14:02,980 --> 01:14:04,936
Mr. spelding, we just
had to get married.

1206
01:14:04,982 --> 01:14:06,643
What do you mean "had to?"

1207
01:14:06,776 --> 01:14:09,392
Well, I mean we couldn't wait
another minute. Not with him around.

1208
01:14:09,445 --> 01:14:12,312
- So we eloped.
- Eloped you, you, you...

1209
01:14:12,365 --> 01:14:13,229
- Goat herder you.
- Ellen!

1210
01:14:13,240 --> 01:14:13,854
Daddy please!

1211
01:14:13,908 --> 01:14:15,569
- I don't know why you but I...
- We thought of this...

1212
01:14:15,576 --> 01:14:19,535
Don't get upset, Mr.
spelding, I guess the best man won.

1213
01:14:19,580 --> 01:14:20,615
- Now wait a minute.
- Excuse me dear.

1214
01:14:20,623 --> 01:14:23,535
I don't believe the
children have had breakfast.

1215
01:14:23,584 --> 01:14:26,417
- Conrad, you will stay.
- I'll be happy to.

1216
01:14:27,838 --> 01:14:31,877
Congratulations, old man, I
hope we can still be friends.

1217
01:14:32,510 --> 01:14:35,047
You mean you don't
feel "that way" about Ellen?

1218
01:14:35,221 --> 01:14:36,802
Oh, she's like a sister to me.

1219
01:14:37,640 --> 01:14:39,676
A sister, eh, kreton?

1220
01:14:39,850 --> 01:14:43,263
Well, I'll just show them
how you really feel about her.

1221
01:14:46,774 --> 01:14:50,892
Ellen oh, Ellen, you
babe with that crazy build.

1222
01:14:51,195 --> 01:14:54,153
I've been watching you shake
it around this house

1223
01:14:54,532 --> 01:15:01,244
and you've been watching me
watching you and it's driving me mad.

1224
01:15:01,998 --> 01:15:02,862
Wow!

1225
01:15:02,999 --> 01:15:04,785
Kreton, what are you saying?

1226
01:15:04,834 --> 01:15:06,790
I do not know, someone
unzipped my mind.

1227
01:15:06,877 --> 01:15:08,162
Mr. delton. Please.

1228
01:15:08,170 --> 01:15:10,786
We don't need words
honey, not you and me.

1229
01:15:11,048 --> 01:15:13,630
The first time I saw you, bells rang,

1230
01:15:13,718 --> 01:15:15,458
the earth moved.

1231
01:15:15,553 --> 01:15:19,216
It was like there was
nobody else in the world.

1232
01:15:19,765 --> 01:15:22,302
Just you and me, and
the black burning nights,

1233
01:15:22,351 --> 01:15:24,512
exploding like a
thousand Roman candles.

1234
01:15:25,146 --> 01:15:29,765
I propose, mister, that you
discontinue this line of thought at once.

1235
01:15:29,942 --> 01:15:32,900
No, no, it's fascinating, really.

1236
01:15:33,112 --> 01:15:35,694
But Ellen, I didn't
mean a word of it.

1237
01:15:35,906 --> 01:15:38,147
- That is I, I meant it, but...
- What?

1238
01:15:38,200 --> 01:15:41,533
No I didn't mean to say
it. Actually, Ellen, I...

1239
01:15:41,579 --> 01:15:45,788
And your hungry eyes, begging me,
imploring me and pleading with me,

1240
01:15:45,833 --> 01:15:47,744
to take you in my powerful arms.

1241
01:15:47,960 --> 01:15:49,166
Wow.

1242
01:15:50,337 --> 01:15:52,123
Ellen look, actually this is whole...

1243
01:15:52,131 --> 01:15:54,998
Mister the woman you
love happens to be my wife.

1244
01:15:55,426 --> 01:15:59,044
- Conrad, please.
- Wait just easy honey. Barrier nothing...

1245
01:15:59,889 --> 01:16:02,505
Conrad... go ahead.

1246
01:16:16,530 --> 01:16:17,770
Conrad!

1247
01:16:18,491 --> 01:16:20,106
Get up.

1248
01:16:22,119 --> 01:16:24,326
Let him have it, kreton.

1249
01:16:27,083 --> 01:16:28,448
Just bop him one.

1250
01:16:28,501 --> 01:16:30,537
There will be no bopping.

1251
01:16:31,545 --> 01:16:33,001
Stand still.

1252
01:16:34,173 --> 01:16:36,129
It's stuck, Mr.
delton, please, it won't hit.

1253
01:16:36,175 --> 01:16:38,336
- Mine won't hit.
- Hit me.

1254
01:16:38,385 --> 01:16:39,738
- Mine don't hit.
- Conrad, now stop it.

1255
01:16:39,762 --> 01:16:40,762
Mine don't hit.

1256
01:16:44,350 --> 01:16:46,432
- What's the matter, you a coward?
- That's it, yeah.

1257
01:16:46,685 --> 01:16:47,685
Fight!

1258
01:16:48,479 --> 01:16:50,219
Daddy do something.

1259
01:16:50,898 --> 01:16:51,808
With pleasure.

1260
01:16:51,899 --> 01:16:54,561
It don't hit. It's...
I'd fight if I could hit.

1261
01:16:54,610 --> 01:16:56,646
- Conrad, now please.
- Well he started it.

1262
01:17:07,957 --> 01:17:10,164
What's going on?
What's happening in here?

1263
01:17:10,167 --> 01:17:11,577
What are you all standing around for?

1264
01:17:11,585 --> 01:17:13,496
What are you so
excited about? Whats???

1265
01:17:13,546 --> 01:17:15,036
What's he doing down there?

1266
01:17:15,381 --> 01:17:17,246
I'm hanging up the phone.

1267
01:17:17,508 --> 01:17:18,508
I hit him.

1268
01:17:18,551 --> 01:17:21,338
You... you hit him and
you aren't disintegrated?

1269
01:17:21,387 --> 01:17:23,423
I can't understand it.
The boy's lost his power.

1270
01:17:23,597 --> 01:17:25,007
Lost his power?

1271
01:17:25,057 --> 01:17:28,720
Then I'm safe. I can do
my duty. Oh this is a day.

1272
01:17:28,894 --> 01:17:30,759
Haven't you time for
a cup of coffee, Bob?

1273
01:17:30,813 --> 01:17:32,929
No, no, not now.
Keep him cornered Conrad.

1274
01:17:32,982 --> 01:17:34,518
I'll get the state police right away.

1275
01:17:34,692 --> 01:17:35,898
The national guard.

1276
01:17:35,985 --> 01:17:37,896
The commander general of the area.

1277
01:17:38,988 --> 01:17:40,068
Excuse me.

1278
01:17:40,698 --> 01:17:42,780
Take it easy, boy, take
it easy. We'll get you up.

1279
01:17:42,825 --> 01:17:45,783
We'll get you up out of
there, come on, up we go.

1280
01:17:45,828 --> 01:17:47,659
There... there there there.

1281
01:17:47,705 --> 01:17:50,242
- I said if you got up I'd hit him again.
- Oh now look...

1282
01:17:50,374 --> 01:17:53,241
Let me at him. They don't call
me the manassas mauler for nothing.

1283
01:17:53,627 --> 01:17:56,334
- Shut up.
- Well, I didn't mean anything...

1284
01:17:56,338 --> 01:17:58,954
- Are you alright?
- Oh yes, I'm fine. Thank you.

1285
01:17:59,008 --> 01:18:02,045
Just wet. You see, where I
come from we don't feel pain.

1286
01:18:02,094 --> 01:18:04,836
Oh, we feel wet.
You'll feel wet water...

1287
01:18:04,889 --> 01:18:06,720
But you don't feel
pain. Like for instance...

1288
01:18:06,765 --> 01:18:07,845
That's what he thinks.

1289
01:18:07,892 --> 01:18:10,804
I didn't even feel the
slightest twinge of...

1290
01:18:12,104 --> 01:18:13,389
Pain!

1291
01:18:13,689 --> 01:18:16,021
- What is it?
- Oh my arms. Mr. delton.

1292
01:18:16,066 --> 01:18:19,729
You wanted to be an earthling, my
boy, so take everything that goes with it.

1293
01:18:19,778 --> 01:18:22,235
Oh, the leg. Just kick
the leg, there's a pain.

1294
01:18:22,281 --> 01:18:24,021
Oh, the back is a pain.

1295
01:18:24,074 --> 01:18:27,316
There's a head... there's a
stomach. Oh, the foot is a pain...

1296
01:18:27,536 --> 01:18:29,072
Oh! No more pain!

1297
01:18:30,789 --> 01:18:32,575
Mabel is using the
phone gotta use your...

1298
01:18:32,625 --> 01:18:35,662
What you...? After
him. Don't let him get away.

1299
01:18:36,295 --> 01:18:37,831
- He's gonna kill me.
- Well... ah!

1300
01:18:42,676 --> 01:18:44,382
Come back and fight like a man.

1301
01:18:44,678 --> 01:18:46,919
You fight your way, I'll fight mine.

1302
01:18:54,521 --> 01:18:55,931
Come on, open up.

1303
01:18:56,190 --> 01:18:57,305
Come out and fight.

1304
01:18:57,358 --> 01:18:59,519
I won't come out and I won't fight.

1305
01:18:59,777 --> 01:19:01,438
Come on open up, you coward.

1306
01:19:01,570 --> 01:19:04,152
That's why I won't come
out, I'm a coward. That's it.

1307
01:19:09,703 --> 01:19:11,193
A spaceman, general.

1308
01:19:11,205 --> 01:19:14,242
S- p-a-s-e.
I mean: C.

1309
01:19:14,375 --> 01:19:16,536
Yes, the state police
are on their way now, sir.

1310
01:19:16,669 --> 01:19:18,876
Oh, good, good. I
hope you can make it, sir.

1311
01:19:20,714 --> 01:19:21,544
Where's a gun?

1312
01:19:21,590 --> 01:19:23,546
- Oh Conrad.
- There's a gun.

1313
01:19:23,550 --> 01:19:26,713
Conrad, deserting your post of duty?

1314
01:19:26,720 --> 01:19:28,802
I need this in case
he tries to break out.

1315
01:19:28,931 --> 01:19:30,931
Give me that, it's just
a conversation piece any...

1316
01:19:33,852 --> 01:19:35,843
Sure talks loud, don't it?

1317
01:19:37,564 --> 01:19:38,929
Oh, the police.

1318
01:19:39,066 --> 01:19:41,478
Excuse me, I better go
make sandwiches and coffee.

1319
01:19:42,152 --> 01:19:43,813
Come on, there's
nothing to be afraid of.

1320
01:19:43,904 --> 01:19:45,565
Let's get out there. Come on.

1321
01:19:46,073 --> 01:19:48,405
Well, after you folks. After you.

1322
01:19:48,450 --> 01:19:50,657
I'll stay in back so I
can plan our strategy.

1323
01:20:06,385 --> 01:20:08,717
Watch it. Watch it, he's in there.

1324
01:20:09,263 --> 01:20:11,754
He's in there men. He's in there.

1325
01:20:11,849 --> 01:20:13,259
He's in there.

1326
01:20:14,518 --> 01:20:16,725
Careful now. He may be dangerous.

1327
01:20:26,864 --> 01:20:28,274
He's jet propelled.

1328
01:20:30,451 --> 01:20:33,909
No he ain't, it's myrtle. Myrtle
did it. Myrtle you come back here.

1329
01:20:34,038 --> 01:20:35,038
Whoa!

1330
01:20:49,303 --> 01:20:51,009
Alright, out of here.

1331
01:20:52,097 --> 01:20:54,133
Out of here. You might get hurt.

1332
01:20:55,309 --> 01:20:57,220
I am hurt.

1333
01:20:57,770 --> 01:21:00,432
All right men, grab a
line get moving. Let's go.

1334
01:21:01,065 --> 01:21:02,475
Loudspeaker.

1335
01:21:06,487 --> 01:21:08,728
Alright mister,
we've got you covered.

1336
01:21:08,739 --> 01:21:10,775
I said, we've got you covered.

1337
01:21:10,783 --> 01:21:13,024
- Pardon me.
- Certainly.

1338
01:21:13,994 --> 01:21:19,159
Myrtle, here myrtle. Where did
you go to? Come to papa, you hear?

1339
01:21:19,208 --> 01:21:20,698
Give me that!

1340
01:21:21,919 --> 01:21:23,500
You haven't got a chance.

1341
01:21:24,213 --> 01:21:26,499
Come out with your
hands over your head..

1342
01:21:26,840 --> 01:21:30,082
I said, come out with
your hands over your head.

1343
01:21:30,344 --> 01:21:32,835
- Sorry I took so long, dear.
- Rheba.

1344
01:21:32,930 --> 01:21:34,466
- Ellen?
- No thank you.

1345
01:21:34,515 --> 01:21:36,506
Come out with your
hands over your head.

1346
01:21:36,517 --> 01:21:39,634
Officer, egg salad or
tuna fish sandwiches?

1347
01:21:39,728 --> 01:21:41,559
Please, ma'am, not now.

1348
01:21:41,772 --> 01:21:42,772
Conrad?

1349
01:21:42,815 --> 01:21:47,024
We mean business, if you don't
come out we'll have to use the tear gas.

1350
01:21:47,986 --> 01:21:49,726
Tear gas. That's a good idea.

1351
01:21:50,697 --> 01:21:51,697
Pardon me.

1352
01:22:05,045 --> 01:22:07,832
There he is men. Watch
him. Keep your eyes on him.

1353
01:22:20,727 --> 01:22:23,469
The wind must have
changed. It's backfiring.

1354
01:22:23,522 --> 01:22:24,682
Watch yourself.

1355
01:22:26,483 --> 01:22:28,019
Put the women in the cars!

1356
01:22:28,026 --> 01:22:29,026
Roll up the windows!

1357
01:22:29,445 --> 01:22:30,445
Roll them up fast!

1358
01:22:30,654 --> 01:22:31,985
Myrtle.

1359
01:22:33,782 --> 01:22:34,988
Myrtle.

1360
01:22:36,452 --> 01:22:37,532
Myrtle.

1361
01:22:39,788 --> 01:22:40,823
Myrtle.

1362
01:22:46,170 --> 01:22:49,458
I can still fly. I
can still fl... yow.

1363
01:22:55,220 --> 01:22:57,632
Come down out of that barn, mister.

1364
01:22:57,890 --> 01:22:59,380
I am out.

1365
01:23:13,780 --> 01:23:15,190
I'm going in.

1366
01:23:16,074 --> 01:23:18,736
The general doesn't want us to
rush the place until he gets here.

1367
01:23:18,869 --> 01:23:20,951
He's on the way with
a life photographer.

1368
01:23:26,418 --> 01:23:29,501
You naughty spaceship, you shouldn't
go away without me.

1369
01:23:29,546 --> 01:23:35,462
Wait, wait, slow down. Slow down,
your gonna get me s... ohh.

1370
01:23:42,809 --> 01:23:43,809
Ohl

1371
01:23:44,102 --> 01:23:47,094
oh, I'm sorry. Hello, Mr.
delton. It's your ship.

1372
01:23:47,523 --> 01:23:48,683
Had enough, young man?

1373
01:23:48,732 --> 01:23:51,064
Oh, yes indeed. Yes sir. I've had it.

1374
01:23:51,109 --> 01:23:54,192
Well, you always wanted to be an
earthling and now you know what it's like.

1375
01:23:54,238 --> 01:23:56,854
You felt the pain of
love, the pain of jealousy...

1376
01:23:56,907 --> 01:23:58,760
And the pain of pain.
And that is the worst pain.

1377
01:23:58,784 --> 01:24:01,992
This is a crazy mixed up planet, Mr.
delton. I'd like to get out of here.

1378
01:24:02,079 --> 01:24:03,444
And you'll never come back again?

1379
01:24:03,497 --> 01:24:06,705
Never. I promise. The
furthest I'll never go is the moon.

1380
01:24:07,000 --> 01:24:08,991
You've learnt a good lesson, my boy.

1381
01:24:09,169 --> 01:24:13,253
Remember, the grass is always
greener on the other side of the universe.

1382
01:24:13,340 --> 01:24:15,797
So keep your nose out
of other people's planets.

1383
01:24:15,884 --> 01:24:17,875
And from now on, I will.

1384
01:24:20,514 --> 01:24:24,223
Sorry, Mr. delton, I hit my...

1385
01:24:35,237 --> 01:24:36,773
- Mr. mayberry?
- Sir.

1386
01:24:37,114 --> 01:24:38,820
Wheres that spaceman?

1387
01:24:39,825 --> 01:24:44,535
Spaceman, general?
There ain't no such animal.

1388
01:24:49,626 --> 01:24:52,834
So long, earth. It's been lots of...

1389
01:24:54,464 --> 01:24:55,374
Mr. delton.

1390
01:24:55,382 --> 01:24:56,872
Oh, Mr. delton!

1391
01:24:59,720 --> 01:25:02,052
Mr. delton help.

1392
01:25:02,681 --> 01:25:06,014
Help! Mr. delton!

1393
01:25:07,352 --> 01:25:08,352
Help Mel!