1 00:00:01,340 --> 00:00:04,570 - Howdy-ho, all you South Parketeers. - Howdy-ho! 2 00:00:04,750 --> 00:00:07,840 - I'm Rootin'-Tootin' Trey Parker. - I'm Pistol-Slinging Matt Stone. 3 00:00:08,020 --> 00:00:12,180 - This is Scratch. Say hi, old fella. - Hi, Scratch! 4 00:00:12,390 --> 00:00:17,290 Matt and I are excited because this episode is our favorite. 5 00:00:17,490 --> 00:00:21,890 It's our Christmas special entitled "Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo." 6 00:00:22,060 --> 00:00:26,230 Kyle, the little Jewish kid, is visited by a talking candy bar. 7 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:29,370 The reason this episode is our favorite is... 8 00:00:29,570 --> 00:00:33,530 ...because it introduces the school counselor, Mr. Mackey. 9 00:00:33,740 --> 00:00:37,040 He was based on a counselor I had in junior high. 10 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:40,980 I used to run around, getting in trouble, and he'd say: 11 00:00:41,180 --> 00:00:44,010 "Trey, get back to your schoolwork, m'kay?" 12 00:00:44,180 --> 00:00:46,580 Now I'm making millions off him. 13 00:00:46,750 --> 00:00:50,120 Like all of our episodes, this one has a moral lesson: 14 00:00:50,290 --> 00:00:54,890 Everyone, regardless of your religion, should celebrate Christmas... 15 00:00:55,060 --> 00:00:57,290 ...because it's the best holiday. 16 00:00:58,830 --> 00:01:02,320 It's our Indian companion friend Indian Companion. 17 00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:05,510 - Hello, Indian Companion. - Say hi, kids. 18 00:01:06,140 --> 00:01:07,900 Someone coming. 19 00:01:09,610 --> 00:01:11,100 Thank you. 20 00:01:13,250 --> 00:01:17,450 Anyway, sit back, relax and have a rootin'-tootin' good time... 21 00:01:17,650 --> 00:01:20,950 ...with Mr. Hankey, the Christmas chocolate bar. 22 00:01:22,660 --> 00:01:24,120 Hooray! 23 00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:37,870 Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo 24 00:01:41,740 --> 00:01:43,640 Lights, please. 25 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:48,610 There were shepherds abiding in the field, watching over their flock. 26 00:01:48,820 --> 00:01:53,280 The Lord's angel came upon them, and they were afraid. He said: 27 00:01:53,450 --> 00:01:58,450 "Fear not. I bring tidings of joy. For born today in the city of David... 28 00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:02,930 ...is the savior, Jesus Christ. Glory to God and good will towards men." 29 00:02:03,130 --> 00:02:06,730 And now, South Park Elementary presents The Birth of Jesus. 30 00:02:10,770 --> 00:02:12,500 Come on, Mary, push! 31 00:02:12,910 --> 00:02:14,600 I can see its head! 32 00:02:16,340 --> 00:02:17,470 It's a boy! 33 00:02:20,150 --> 00:02:21,840 Wait a minute. Wait. 34 00:02:22,050 --> 00:02:25,990 Kyle, you need to hold the baby by the legs not the head. 35 00:02:26,150 --> 00:02:28,180 - What kind of sick weirdo are you? - Sorry. 36 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:31,850 And Wendy, I'm still not believing the labor pains. 37 00:02:32,060 --> 00:02:35,930 Mr. Garrison, what the hell do you think you're doing? 38 00:02:36,130 --> 00:02:38,500 I'm trying to direct the school Christmas play... 39 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:41,860 ...but your son was holding baby Jesus fetus by the head. 40 00:02:42,070 --> 00:02:47,470 How dare you include the Nativity in a school play! My son is Jewish! 41 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:49,460 So? 42 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:53,370 So what makes you think he should play Joseph? 43 00:02:53,610 --> 00:02:58,070 - Because it's Christmas. - Our family doesn't celebrate Christmas! 44 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:02,150 You're not gonna lay that Channukah crap on me, are you? 45 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:05,380 What? You won't get away with this! 46 00:03:05,590 --> 00:03:09,320 - Kyle's mom's here to ruin Christmas. - Shut up, fat boy! 47 00:03:09,530 --> 00:03:13,230 - I'm not fat. I'm festively plump. - Why are you Jewish on Christmas? 48 00:03:13,430 --> 00:03:18,600 Kyle, is there anything you can do for the play that isn't Jesus-related? 49 00:03:18,810 --> 00:03:21,540 How about the dreidel song, bubee? 50 00:03:21,740 --> 00:03:25,540 - I can sing "The Mr. Hankey Song." - How does that go? 51 00:03:29,220 --> 00:03:31,680 - "Christmas poo"? - What's "Christmas poo"? 52 00:03:31,890 --> 00:03:34,350 Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo. Haven't you heard of it? 53 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,080 Kyle, that is enough! 54 00:03:36,290 --> 00:03:38,880 That's what you get for raising a pagan. 55 00:03:39,090 --> 00:03:42,890 That does it! I'm going straight to the mayor about you! 56 00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:45,900 Wait, I'm sorry. Was it the pagan remark? 57 00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:47,570 You guys, look. 58 00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,670 It's snowing. 59 00:03:53,770 --> 00:03:57,270 - Christmas snow. - Try to catch flakes on your tongue. 60 00:03:58,310 --> 00:03:59,900 It's fun. 61 00:04:06,620 --> 00:04:07,750 Sick, dude. 62 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:11,550 Hey! Jewish people can't eat Christmas snow. 63 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:14,190 - We can too. - It's against the law. 64 00:04:14,390 --> 00:04:16,330 - Officer Barbrady? - What? 65 00:04:16,530 --> 00:04:19,690 Is it illegal for Jews to eat Christmas snow? 66 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,660 - Yes. - Damn it! 67 00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:25,000 We have to go tell Santa Claus what we want. 68 00:04:25,210 --> 00:04:28,170 Bye, Kyle. There's no reason for you to come... 69 00:04:28,380 --> 00:04:32,180 ...since you don't get Christmas gifts. - I get Channukah gifts for eight days. 70 00:04:32,380 --> 00:04:34,850 Too bad it's usually a dreidel or something lame. 71 00:04:35,050 --> 00:04:37,020 We'll catch you later, Kyle. 72 00:04:37,220 --> 00:04:40,780 Wait! I may not have Santa, but I do have Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo. 73 00:04:40,990 --> 00:04:43,960 - What's this about Christmas poo? - Mr. Hankey. 74 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:47,590 He comes out of the toilet and gives gifts to people with high-fiber diets. 75 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,490 You are really reaching right now. 76 00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:54,630 You'll be sorry when I ride on Santa's sleigh with Mr. Hankey. 77 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:57,700 You won't ride on Santa's sleigh, because you're a Jew. 78 00:04:57,910 --> 00:04:59,430 See ya, dude. 79 00:06:38,410 --> 00:06:41,170 Okay, everybody, settle down. 80 00:06:41,380 --> 00:06:46,610 We are deeply offended by the Nativity scene in front of the capital office. 81 00:06:46,810 --> 00:06:48,870 Church and state are separate. 82 00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:53,720 - What's going on? - The whole town's pissed off. 83 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:57,980 That isn't all, mayor. The school play is doing a Nativity scene. 84 00:06:58,190 --> 00:07:01,350 It isn't being sensitive to the Jewish community. 85 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,090 You are the Jewish community. 86 00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:07,830 - Super-bitch is at it again. - Don't call my mom a bitch. 87 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:12,170 The Nativity is what Christmas is about. If you remove Christ... 88 00:07:12,370 --> 00:07:15,600 ...you must remove Santa, Frosty and all that garbage too. 89 00:07:16,580 --> 00:07:19,770 And we must stop cutting down Christmas trees. 90 00:07:21,580 --> 00:07:24,350 I'm sick of those flaps on coffee lids. 91 00:07:24,550 --> 00:07:28,580 If you don't want to spill coffee, don't drive with it. 92 00:07:31,330 --> 00:07:35,130 Okay, people. Clearly, we need to reach a compromise. 93 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:38,890 Perhaps we need a new icon for Christmas. 94 00:07:39,100 --> 00:07:40,360 Brilliant idea. 95 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:44,900 Hey, how about Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo? 96 00:07:45,110 --> 00:07:47,670 - Excuse me? - Oh, boy. Here we go again. 97 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:49,780 He comes out of the toilet... 98 00:07:49,980 --> 00:07:52,710 ...and gives gifts to everybody who eats fiber. 99 00:07:52,910 --> 00:07:53,900 Kyle! 100 00:07:54,110 --> 00:07:57,280 It's true. He doesn't care what faith you are. 101 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,820 Don't mind him. He's a very disturbed little boy. 102 00:08:05,530 --> 00:08:08,120 - Kyle, we're leaving right now. - Wait. 103 00:08:08,330 --> 00:08:12,460 Anyway, I'll put together a crack team of my best workers... 104 00:08:12,670 --> 00:08:15,460 ...so this will be a non-offensive Christmas... 105 00:08:15,670 --> 00:08:19,730 ...to any religious or minority group. Any other suggestions? 106 00:08:20,670 --> 00:08:24,770 - Yes, Mr. Garrison? - Could we get rid of all the Mexicans? 107 00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:30,810 No, Mr. Garrison, we cannot get rid of all the Mexicans. 108 00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:32,540 Rats. 109 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:41,120 It's disgusting, and we will not have it. 110 00:08:41,330 --> 00:08:43,990 - Your father's right, Kyle. - Let me handle this. 111 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,760 Having imaginary friends is fine, but this won't do! 112 00:08:47,970 --> 00:08:49,560 Listen to your father. 113 00:08:49,770 --> 00:08:54,400 I want you to repeat after me, "There is no such thing as Mr. Hankey." 114 00:08:54,610 --> 00:08:56,040 - But, Dad, he... - Say it! 115 00:08:56,580 --> 00:08:58,940 - There is no such thing as Mr. Hankey. - Again. 116 00:08:59,150 --> 00:09:02,380 - There is no such thing as Mr. Hankey. - It's for your own good. 117 00:09:02,580 --> 00:09:07,280 Now go to bed. You won't be opening your Channukah gift tonight. 118 00:09:07,490 --> 00:09:10,550 - Probably a stupid dreidel, anyway. - What did you say? 119 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:12,420 I said, Ike's on fire. 120 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,150 Oh, my God! 121 00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:20,630 It isn't fair. I don't wanna be an outcast. 122 00:09:21,940 --> 00:09:24,430 - I'm not hearing that. - Hello? 123 00:09:26,010 --> 00:09:27,000 Mr. Hankey? 124 00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:30,400 Howdy-ho! 125 00:09:31,910 --> 00:09:33,400 Howdy-ho, Kyle. 126 00:09:33,610 --> 00:09:36,580 - Gosh, you're looking swell. - Go away. 127 00:09:36,780 --> 00:09:41,050 You know something, pal? You smell an awful lot like flowers. 128 00:09:41,250 --> 00:09:44,090 - My dad says you aren't real. - Not real? 129 00:09:44,290 --> 00:09:49,490 Well, shucks, if I weren't real, could I sing this jolly Christmas song? 130 00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,070 I'll get in trouble. 131 00:10:06,810 --> 00:10:08,970 - What are you doing? - Nothing. 132 00:10:09,180 --> 00:10:10,310 Open the door! 133 00:10:12,420 --> 00:10:14,110 Mr. Hankey, come here. 134 00:10:19,690 --> 00:10:21,680 Say something, Mr. Hankey. 135 00:10:24,630 --> 00:10:29,070 Get to sleep and think about how your mother has to clean that bathroom. 136 00:10:29,270 --> 00:10:30,670 What? Me? 137 00:10:33,770 --> 00:10:37,170 - Howdy-ho! - Mr. Hankey, where the hell did you go? 138 00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:41,470 You should be wearing socks to sleep. You'll catch a cold. 139 00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:44,650 Nobody believes in you, not even my friends. 140 00:10:44,850 --> 00:10:45,910 That's too bad. 141 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:49,680 Come to school with me so I can prove I'm not crazy. 142 00:10:49,890 --> 00:10:52,720 Say, that sounds like a swell idea. 143 00:10:52,930 --> 00:10:55,950 We can show everyone the spirit of Christmas. 144 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:58,360 Yeah, we'll show them. 145 00:10:58,930 --> 00:11:03,390 We've got to turn this place around. Take down anything that's offensive... 146 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,470 ...to any specific group. 147 00:11:05,670 --> 00:11:08,140 Is mistletoe offensive? 148 00:11:08,340 --> 00:11:10,870 Is anyone offended by mistletoe? 149 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,540 Lose the mistletoe. 150 00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:19,550 I'm getting that John Elway helmet for Christmas. 151 00:11:19,750 --> 00:11:22,690 - How do you know? - It's in my parents' closet. 152 00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:26,790 I sneaked around my mom's closet and saw what I'm getting: 153 00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:30,120 - The Ultra Vibe Pleasure 2000. - What's that? 154 00:11:30,330 --> 00:11:33,930 - I don't know, but it sounds sweet. - Hello, everybody. 155 00:11:34,130 --> 00:11:36,190 - What's in the box? - A surprise. 156 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,800 - Let me see. - Okay. Don't scare him. 157 00:11:43,380 --> 00:11:44,600 Dude, sick! 158 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,180 Is this some kind of Jewish tradition? 159 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,950 Wait, you guys, he's alive. 160 00:11:53,350 --> 00:11:57,050 - You better go home and get some sleep. - Dance! 161 00:11:57,390 --> 00:11:59,690 Dance! Dance, damn you! 162 00:12:00,390 --> 00:12:04,020 I'm going to say words, and the computer will measure... 163 00:12:04,230 --> 00:12:08,960 ...how offended you are. We can find out which words are least offensive... 164 00:12:09,170 --> 00:12:11,760 ...for use in the holiday season. Ready? 165 00:12:11,970 --> 00:12:13,060 Here we go. 166 00:12:13,270 --> 00:12:14,970 Christ. 167 00:12:15,740 --> 00:12:17,570 Okay. Chair. 168 00:12:19,650 --> 00:12:20,640 Camel. 169 00:12:23,450 --> 00:12:24,470 Sand. 170 00:12:26,890 --> 00:12:28,380 Stupid wop-dago. 171 00:12:31,390 --> 00:12:32,380 Bench. 172 00:12:35,330 --> 00:12:38,990 - Do you have to take the tree too? - Mayor's orders. 173 00:12:39,930 --> 00:12:43,930 Okay, I'm having a hard time with our Christmas play. 174 00:12:44,140 --> 00:12:48,270 We can't sing songs having to do with Jesus or Santa Claus. 175 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:50,340 - Thanks to Kyle's mom. - Shut up! 176 00:12:50,540 --> 00:12:54,340 Anybody know any non-Santa or non-Jesus Christmas songs? 177 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:56,940 - Yes, Eric? - How about we sing: 178 00:12:57,150 --> 00:13:02,680 - "Kyle's Mom is a Stupid Bitch" in D? - I said not to call my mom a bitch! 179 00:13:11,730 --> 00:13:13,100 Shut up, Cartman! 180 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,730 - Howdy-ho! - Mr. Hankey. 181 00:13:24,710 --> 00:13:29,170 Golly, that isn't very nice. I'd sure like to teach him a lesson. 182 00:13:50,740 --> 00:13:52,070 Mr. Hankey, no. 183 00:13:52,970 --> 00:13:55,670 - What the...? - Gross, Kyle! 184 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:59,070 Kyle, did you just throw doo-doo at Eric? 185 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,670 You sick bastard! 186 00:14:04,020 --> 00:14:06,820 Now, Kyle, as your school counselor... 187 00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:10,350 ...I want to help you confront your problem, m'kay? 188 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:13,220 - I don't have a problem. - It's my understanding... 189 00:14:13,390 --> 00:14:16,990 ...that you have an acute case of fecalphilia. 190 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,260 What's that? 191 00:14:18,470 --> 00:14:22,600 A fecalphiliac is somebody who's obsessed with mookie-stinks, Kyle. 192 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:27,970 - I also understand that you're Jewish. - Well, not on purpose. 193 00:14:28,170 --> 00:14:31,470 This must be a pretty hard time of year for you. 194 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:34,370 - Do kids make fun of you? - Sometimes. 195 00:14:34,580 --> 00:14:36,450 - That must make you mad. - Sure. 196 00:14:36,650 --> 00:14:39,480 Mad enough to kill, Kyle? 197 00:14:39,990 --> 00:14:41,610 - No, dude! - That's good. 198 00:14:41,820 --> 00:14:47,760 Sometimes we feel like an outsider. We create friends in our minds, m'kay? 199 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,660 Mr. Hankey seems so real. 200 00:14:49,830 --> 00:14:54,990 Of course he does. In your screwed up head, he's the only friend you have. 201 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,190 Kyle! 202 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,100 Howdy-ho! 203 00:14:59,340 --> 00:15:02,640 You're nuttier than Chinese chicken salad, m'kay? 204 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:06,180 You're one screwed-up little kid. You understand? 205 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:14,640 Try and stay positive. Stay away from drugs and alcohol. In the meantime... 206 00:15:14,850 --> 00:15:17,550 ...I'm putting you on a heavy regimen of Prozac. 207 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,760 Oh, my God, you sick little monkey! 208 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:26,090 Children, we've just received word from the mayor... 209 00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:29,670 ...that the play can't include any Christmas lights... 210 00:15:29,870 --> 00:15:32,930 ...since they offend people with epilepsy. 211 00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:37,440 Kenny, please go over and pull the light cords out of the wall. 212 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:43,750 Careful now, Kenny. Those are very, very dangerous. 213 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:52,080 - Now let's practice our... - No! Get away from me. 214 00:15:52,290 --> 00:15:55,190 - Just look more closely at it. - No! Go away! 215 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:58,830 Stan, you need to do something about your friend. 216 00:15:59,030 --> 00:16:02,260 Get him out of here before he hurts anybody. 217 00:16:04,470 --> 00:16:06,910 We need to commit our friend Kyle. 218 00:16:07,110 --> 00:16:10,080 - Reason? - I'm a clinically-depressed fecalphiliac. 219 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,010 - Any allergies? - No. 220 00:16:12,210 --> 00:16:13,510 Jacket! 221 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,280 Bye, Kyle. Happy Channukah. 222 00:16:21,290 --> 00:16:25,050 Okay, children, does everyone have their leotards on? 223 00:16:26,530 --> 00:16:29,260 Good. It looks like they've taken the trees down. 224 00:16:29,460 --> 00:16:33,130 There's nothing Christian either. This should be great. 225 00:16:33,330 --> 00:16:38,200 This could be such a wonderful play. I wish Kyle was here to see it. 226 00:16:43,540 --> 00:16:45,770 Second verse, same as the first. 227 00:16:46,750 --> 00:16:51,120 - Welcome to the South Park... - Wait. There's a star above the stage. 228 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:55,080 - That's offensive to non-Christians. - Oh, come on. 229 00:16:55,290 --> 00:16:58,380 - Hey! Don't push your beliefs on me. - I agree. 230 00:16:58,590 --> 00:16:59,890 Oh, brother. 231 00:17:00,090 --> 00:17:04,390 Kenny, climb the ladder and take down the star above the stage. 232 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:07,500 Be careful not to fall in the pool below you. 233 00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:10,430 The shark for the third act is in there. 234 00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:15,400 Welcome to the South Park Elementary Holiday Experience. 235 00:17:15,610 --> 00:17:18,480 Before we start, here's a non-offensive... 236 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,770 ...non-denominational song by the school chef. 237 00:17:48,510 --> 00:17:50,770 Doesn't seem right without Kyle. 238 00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:54,310 Well, old Kyle's gonna be locked up for a while. Get used to it. 239 00:17:54,510 --> 00:17:58,080 - Get ready to take your places. - Thank you, Chef. 240 00:18:01,850 --> 00:18:04,450 Now, South Park Elementary presents... 241 00:18:04,660 --> 00:18:08,290 ...the non-offensive, non-denominational Christmas play... 242 00:18:08,490 --> 00:18:13,060 ...with music and lyrics by New York minimalist composer, Philip Glass. 243 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,030 As I turn and look into the sun... 244 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,800 ...the rays burn my eyes. 245 00:18:24,140 --> 00:18:26,810 How like a turtle, the sun looks. 246 00:18:27,010 --> 00:18:28,740 What the hell is this? 247 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,150 This is horrible. 248 00:18:32,350 --> 00:18:35,190 This is the most God-awful piece of crap I've ever seen. 249 00:18:35,390 --> 00:18:37,220 You made it this way. 250 00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:41,860 - The Jews didn't want it Christian. - We didn't take out Santa. 251 00:18:42,060 --> 00:18:44,530 All you bastards ruined Christmas. 252 00:18:44,730 --> 00:18:47,130 - Get him in the ribs. - Tree-hugger! 253 00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:51,440 - This is the worst Christmas ever. - Yeah. 254 00:18:53,170 --> 00:18:54,400 Where's Kyle? 255 00:18:54,570 --> 00:18:56,510 - We committed him. - What? Why? 256 00:18:56,710 --> 00:19:00,980 He kept seeing this brown piece of Christmas poo everywhere. 257 00:19:01,150 --> 00:19:03,950 Christmas Poo? You mean Mr. Hankey. 258 00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:10,750 - Say, kids, why the long faces? - We're bored. 259 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,450 - There's nothing to do. - Maybe this will help. 260 00:19:14,630 --> 00:19:17,060 A Mr. Hankey Construction Set! 261 00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:22,130 Now you can make your own Mr. Hankey. Just use the fecal fishing net... 262 00:19:22,340 --> 00:19:25,130 ...and select your best Mr. Hankey. - That one. 263 00:19:25,340 --> 00:19:29,300 Then use the Hankey stand to add eyes, mouth and hats. 264 00:19:29,510 --> 00:19:32,170 I made a mariachi Mr. Hankey. 265 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,240 Now it's a Mrs. Hankey. 266 00:19:34,410 --> 00:19:38,410 - Let's put the fez hat on him. - I wish Daddy were still alive. 267 00:19:39,420 --> 00:19:42,350 The set comes with everything seen here. 268 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,050 Where's Mr. Hankey? 269 00:19:49,060 --> 00:19:51,790 - I love you, sweetheart. - I love you too. 270 00:19:55,740 --> 00:20:00,760 This is horrible. All of this because we didn't believe in Mr. Hankey. 271 00:20:00,970 --> 00:20:03,240 You can believe in him now. 272 00:20:04,410 --> 00:20:05,710 I believe. 273 00:20:05,910 --> 00:20:07,850 I believe in Mr. Hankey. 274 00:20:09,350 --> 00:20:11,840 Howdy-ho! 275 00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:17,120 Howdy, folks. Gosh, you sure do smell nice and flowery. 276 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:19,850 Howdy-ho, Chef. 277 00:20:20,060 --> 00:20:22,050 Howdy-ho, Mr. Hankey. 278 00:20:22,330 --> 00:20:25,490 That does it. Screw you guys, I'm going home. 279 00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:29,730 - I draw the line at talking poo. - What's all the ruckus? 280 00:20:29,940 --> 00:20:33,000 The whole town is about to kill each other. 281 00:20:33,210 --> 00:20:37,200 I reckon this could be a job for Mr. Hankey. 282 00:20:40,110 --> 00:20:41,580 Stop fighting! 283 00:20:41,780 --> 00:20:44,550 Oh, my God. What the hell is that thing? 284 00:20:44,750 --> 00:20:47,050 Come on, gang, don't fight. 285 00:20:47,490 --> 00:20:51,820 You people focus so hard on the things wrong with Christmas... 286 00:20:52,020 --> 00:20:54,620 ...that you've forgotten what's right about it. 287 00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:58,690 Don't you see? This is the one time of year... 288 00:20:58,900 --> 00:21:01,660 ...we're supposed to forget the bad stuff. 289 00:21:01,830 --> 00:21:05,200 Stop worrying and being sad about the state of the world... 290 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:08,460 ...and for just one day say, "The heck with it." 291 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:11,770 "Let's sing and dance and bake cookies." 292 00:21:23,390 --> 00:21:25,520 Dude, this is pretty f* * * ed up. 293 00:21:29,430 --> 00:21:31,520 Howdy-ho, Kyle. 294 00:21:31,730 --> 00:21:35,670 - Oh, no. I'm not sane yet. - I brought some friends with me. 295 00:21:35,870 --> 00:21:37,170 Friends? 296 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:43,270 Merry Christmas, Kyle Broflovski! 297 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,740 You can see him? I'm not crazy? 298 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:11,970 Well, I've got a long night ahead of me. 299 00:22:12,170 --> 00:22:14,160 Bye-bye. Merry Christmas. 300 00:22:14,610 --> 00:22:18,700 Goodbye. Bring me lots of gifts. I always believed in you. 301 00:22:18,910 --> 00:22:20,970 Howdy-ho, ho, ho! 302 00:22:21,180 --> 00:22:24,620 I learned something today. Jewish people are okay. 303 00:22:24,820 --> 00:22:27,050 And Channukah can be cool too. 304 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,390 It seems like something's still not right. 305 00:22:31,590 --> 00:22:33,890 Yeah, something feels unfinished. 306 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:36,490 What could it be?