1 00:00:00,901 --> 00:00:02,357 Hi, ready to order? 2 00:00:02,359 --> 00:00:04,275 Do you have anything that's really special? 3 00:00:04,277 --> 00:00:07,529 Not according to my high school guidance counselor. 4 00:00:07,531 --> 00:00:09,397 I'll have the veggie plate. 5 00:00:09,399 --> 00:00:11,366 But instead of beets, I want kale. 6 00:00:11,368 --> 00:00:13,868 And instead of broccoli, more kale. 7 00:00:13,870 --> 00:00:15,370 I want the veggies steamed. 8 00:00:15,372 --> 00:00:17,105 And instead of dressing, I want lemons. 9 00:00:17,607 --> 00:00:19,541 Don't you need to write this down? 10 00:00:19,543 --> 00:00:21,376 I'm afraid if I start writing that down, 11 00:00:21,378 --> 00:00:24,662 it'll turn into a suicide note. 12 00:00:24,664 --> 00:00:26,081 I'm assuming this table's gonna have 13 00:00:26,083 --> 00:00:27,716 a lot more of those requests. 14 00:00:27,718 --> 00:00:30,752 Yes, I could tell by the hats. 15 00:00:40,713 --> 00:00:43,932 Earl, I have something new I want you to try. 16 00:00:43,934 --> 00:00:45,850 That's the exact same sentence 17 00:00:45,852 --> 00:00:48,803 that got me hooked on cocaine in the '80s. 18 00:00:48,805 --> 00:00:51,239 It's my new cupcake flavor. 19 00:00:51,241 --> 00:00:54,826 Delicious dark chocolate the ladies can't help but love. 20 00:00:54,828 --> 00:00:57,028 I'm calling it "The Earl." 21 00:00:57,030 --> 00:00:59,914 I know you got that right. 22 00:00:59,916 --> 00:01:01,166 Hi, I'm here. 23 00:01:01,168 --> 00:01:03,317 I was running late so I decided to hail a cab. 24 00:01:03,319 --> 00:01:05,486 And then I remembered I didn't have any money on me. 25 00:01:05,488 --> 00:01:07,872 And then I remembered I didn't have any money at all. 26 00:01:07,874 --> 00:01:10,542 So I walked the whole way here. 27 00:01:10,544 --> 00:01:12,794 The apartment's three blocks away. 28 00:01:12,796 --> 00:01:13,845 Yes, I know. 29 00:01:13,847 --> 00:01:16,330 Three blocks and 15 "Hola chicas" away. 30 00:01:16,332 --> 00:01:18,883 Well, you can't be late again. 31 00:01:18,885 --> 00:01:20,802 I'm already worried about me being late... 32 00:01:20,804 --> 00:01:23,004 every month. 33 00:01:23,006 --> 00:01:26,057 On my way here, a homeless man asked me for money. 34 00:01:26,059 --> 00:01:28,476 And I told him that I usually always give, 35 00:01:28,478 --> 00:01:30,945 but that my father was indicted in a Ponzi scandal 36 00:01:30,947 --> 00:01:33,948 and I've lost my family fortune and my Manhattan townhouse, 37 00:01:33,950 --> 00:01:36,350 so I've been sleeping on a couch in Brooklyn, 38 00:01:36,352 --> 00:01:38,319 but, in spite of it all, I'm still optimistic 39 00:01:38,321 --> 00:01:40,071 that you and I will achieve success 40 00:01:40,073 --> 00:01:42,857 in our exciting new cupcake business venture. 41 00:01:42,859 --> 00:01:45,326 And look what he gave me! 42 00:01:45,328 --> 00:01:48,079 You took money from a homeless man? 43 00:01:48,081 --> 00:01:50,415 I prefer to think of Bob near the bridge 44 00:01:50,417 --> 00:01:52,000 as our first investor. 45 00:01:52,002 --> 00:01:54,886 Pickup! Special sandwich. 46 00:01:54,888 --> 00:01:57,255 I can think of even more special sandwich. 47 00:01:57,257 --> 00:02:01,893 You, me and the hot blonde giraffe. 48 00:02:01,895 --> 00:02:04,562 Well, she recently lost her dignity, 49 00:02:04,564 --> 00:02:06,197 so you might have a shot. 50 00:02:06,199 --> 00:02:09,267 Hello today! 51 00:02:09,269 --> 00:02:10,935 I have nametag for you. 52 00:02:10,937 --> 00:02:13,905 Only your second day and look, nametag already. 53 00:02:13,907 --> 00:02:16,524 As new owner, I am killing it. 54 00:02:16,526 --> 00:02:17,558 Thank you. 55 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:18,993 Oh, it says "Carolin." 56 00:02:18,995 --> 00:02:20,945 It's Caroline. With an "E." 57 00:02:20,947 --> 00:02:22,730 I'm Caroline. 58 00:02:22,732 --> 00:02:25,250 As new owner, I am sucking it. 59 00:02:25,252 --> 00:02:27,235 Just put it on. 60 00:02:27,237 --> 00:02:28,920 You can't tell an Asian he made a mistake. 61 00:02:28,922 --> 00:02:31,890 He'll go in the back and throw himself on a sword. 62 00:02:31,892 --> 00:02:33,541 Thank you, Mr. Lee. 63 00:02:33,543 --> 00:02:34,926 You may call me Han. 64 00:02:34,928 --> 00:02:36,544 H-a-n. 65 00:02:36,546 --> 00:02:38,463 No trap in my name. 66 00:02:38,465 --> 00:02:40,765 I'm thinking we should take 67 00:02:40,767 --> 00:02:43,017 the first step in our new cupcake business 68 00:02:43,019 --> 00:02:45,086 by writing "Max's Homemade Cupcakes" 69 00:02:45,088 --> 00:02:46,421 up on the specials board. 70 00:02:46,423 --> 00:02:48,089 No, I can't have my name up there. 71 00:02:48,091 --> 00:02:51,276 Everyone I owe money to thinks I live in Seattle. 72 00:02:51,278 --> 00:02:55,530 Oh, we used to own Seattle. 73 00:02:55,532 --> 00:02:57,782 Max, we've got to get the name out there. 74 00:02:57,784 --> 00:02:58,816 Create a buzz. 75 00:02:58,818 --> 00:02:59,901 Ooh, good idea! 76 00:02:59,903 --> 00:03:00,818 Let's create a buzz. 77 00:03:00,820 --> 00:03:02,086 Exactly, in order to launch... 78 00:03:02,088 --> 00:03:04,572 I'm mocking you. 79 00:03:04,574 --> 00:03:06,457 When in doubt, I'm always mocking you. 80 00:03:06,459 --> 00:03:07,959 Seriously, Max. 81 00:03:07,961 --> 00:03:10,328 This new cupcake business is our lifeline. 82 00:03:10,330 --> 00:03:12,080 A way out for both of us. 83 00:03:12,082 --> 00:03:15,083 And I wanna thank you again for letting me move in. 84 00:03:15,085 --> 00:03:17,335 If there's anything I can do to help you... 85 00:03:17,337 --> 00:03:20,004 You mean besides starting to wait on tables? 86 00:03:20,006 --> 00:03:21,422 I meant, anything I can do 87 00:03:21,424 --> 00:03:24,058 to help you through your breakup with Robbie. 88 00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:27,478 Oh. Thanks, but I'm fine. 89 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:28,546 And we're working. 90 00:03:28,548 --> 00:03:30,932 Well, one of us is. 91 00:03:30,934 --> 00:03:32,784 Are you sure you're fine? 92 00:03:32,786 --> 00:03:34,986 'Cause I heard you crying last night. 93 00:03:34,988 --> 00:03:36,321 I don't cry. 94 00:03:36,323 --> 00:03:40,825 I sold my tear ducts to an organ bank for cash two years ago. 95 00:03:40,827 --> 00:03:42,393 I was on the couch. 96 00:03:42,395 --> 00:03:45,246 And I heard you crying alone in your bedroom. 97 00:03:45,248 --> 00:03:48,082 Really? What did the crying sound like? 98 00:03:48,084 --> 00:03:49,684 Like... 99 00:03:54,823 --> 00:03:56,207 I wasn't crying. 100 00:03:56,209 --> 00:03:57,425 Well, then what were you d... 101 00:03:57,427 --> 00:04:00,995 Oh! So none of my business. 102 00:04:00,997 --> 00:04:03,464 That's right. And remember that. 103 00:04:03,466 --> 00:04:04,832 Got it. 104 00:04:04,834 --> 00:04:06,134 In fact, let's just say that anything having to do 105 00:04:06,136 --> 00:04:09,020 with my bedroom, my tables, or my life... 106 00:04:09,022 --> 00:04:10,104 you should stay away from. 107 00:04:10,106 --> 00:04:11,505 Boundaries. Got it. 108 00:04:11,507 --> 00:04:15,176 And please don't tell anyone at work 109 00:04:15,178 --> 00:04:16,678 I let you move into my apartment. 110 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,180 That is one boundary we both don't want crossed. 111 00:04:19,182 --> 00:04:21,149 Why? 112 00:04:21,151 --> 00:04:23,151 Hey, roomies. 113 00:04:23,153 --> 00:04:25,336 That's why. 114 00:04:31,783 --> 00:04:33,115 Hope those sheets are okay. 115 00:04:33,423 --> 00:04:34,357 Oh, don't worry about it. 116 00:04:34,477 --> 00:04:35,892 I know they're the best you could afford. 117 00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:39,677 Not really. The good ones are on my bed. 118 00:04:39,679 --> 00:04:41,929 Max, that oven is so hot. 119 00:04:41,931 --> 00:04:44,248 Could you do me a favor and open the back door? 120 00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:45,349 We've known each other two days 121 00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:47,751 and you're already asking for back door? 122 00:04:55,193 --> 00:04:57,194 Dear God! 123 00:04:57,196 --> 00:04:59,530 I forgot you're Equestrian Barbie. 124 00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:02,216 You came with a horse. 125 00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,035 No. 126 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:06,937 Out, horse, bad! Bad horse. 127 00:05:06,939 --> 00:05:12,827 Chestnut. 128 00:05:12,829 --> 00:05:16,213 No need to yell, he's a champion. 129 00:05:16,215 --> 00:05:18,165 Champion stink bomb. 130 00:05:18,167 --> 00:05:20,251 It's smelling pretty ripe out in that yard. 131 00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:23,387 That's not Chestnut, that's Brooklyn. 132 00:05:23,389 --> 00:05:25,789 Okay, well, I'm watching "The Champion" 133 00:05:25,791 --> 00:05:31,095 drop some steaming hot "Brooklyn" right now. 134 00:05:31,097 --> 00:05:34,215 Max, I've been thinking about how you completely overreacted 135 00:05:34,217 --> 00:05:36,233 to your name up on the specials board. 136 00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:38,269 Do you think it's a fear of success? 137 00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:41,822 I am too poor to have a fear of success. 138 00:05:41,824 --> 00:05:43,441 At Wharton Business School, we learned 139 00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:45,910 that every new venture can bring up a certain amount of fear. 140 00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:48,079 Is there any way to do a yelp review 141 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,364 of Wharton Business School? 142 00:05:50,366 --> 00:05:53,701 Maybe you're having a hard time imagining 143 00:05:53,703 --> 00:05:55,669 this cupcake business could ever even happen 144 00:05:55,671 --> 00:05:59,006 because nobody ever believed in you or your dreams. 145 00:05:59,008 --> 00:06:00,241 I'm guessing. 146 00:06:00,243 --> 00:06:03,160 I can make this happen, Max. 147 00:06:03,162 --> 00:06:05,496 For me, for you, for us. 148 00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:07,631 Just keep making those amazing cupcakes. 149 00:06:07,633 --> 00:06:10,334 And I'll do the rest till you believe. 150 00:06:10,336 --> 00:06:11,802 I believe everything you just said 151 00:06:11,804 --> 00:06:15,022 and that children are the future. 152 00:06:34,192 --> 00:06:36,277 Max, it's me! 153 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:39,363 I know it's you. 154 00:06:39,365 --> 00:06:41,382 You sleep with a knife under your pillow? 155 00:06:41,384 --> 00:06:45,669 It's the only home security system I can afford. 156 00:06:45,671 --> 00:06:47,871 And I'm a cutter. 157 00:06:47,873 --> 00:06:50,558 I can't sleep on that couch. 158 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:54,728 I think Ikea might be the Scandinavian word for sciatica. 159 00:06:54,730 --> 00:06:57,214 And there's weird sounds in the street. 160 00:06:57,216 --> 00:06:59,567 And I don't have my white noise machine. 161 00:06:59,569 --> 00:07:01,185 Well, that's Puerto Rican noise. 162 00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:02,386 You'll get used to it. 163 00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:05,656 Can I just lay down here and get a little sleep? 164 00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:08,576 I don't even let the men I sleep with sleep with me. 165 00:07:08,578 --> 00:07:11,328 I can't get into your issues right now. 166 00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:13,364 I just need to sleep! 167 00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:17,001 Fine, get in then. 168 00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:18,536 What is that? 169 00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:22,173 Potato chips. I sleep-eat. 170 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,658 Cool ranch and bacon? 171 00:07:24,660 --> 00:07:26,743 Dude, they're delicious. 172 00:07:26,745 --> 00:07:28,846 Because of your breakup with Robbie? 173 00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:30,130 Just get in. 174 00:07:30,132 --> 00:07:33,384 I have to be in the city to babysit in five hours. 175 00:07:38,590 --> 00:07:40,257 Oh, great, you're like a nightlight. 176 00:07:40,259 --> 00:07:45,029 You're so blonde. 177 00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:47,731 Thank you. 178 00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:53,454 Max, someone's in the living room. 179 00:07:53,456 --> 00:07:56,123 Max, someone's in the bedroom! 180 00:07:56,125 --> 00:07:57,541 Robbie! 181 00:07:57,543 --> 00:07:59,343 What's up, babe? 182 00:07:59,345 --> 00:08:01,045 Robbie, what are you doing here? 183 00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,446 We broke up. 184 00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:04,415 Still? 185 00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:06,300 Yes, still. You hit on me. 186 00:08:06,302 --> 00:08:08,052 And then she caught you with someone else 187 00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:09,453 in these very sheets. 188 00:08:09,455 --> 00:08:12,339 Which I'm hoping she washed. 189 00:08:12,341 --> 00:08:13,557 Oh, I get it. 190 00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:16,227 You blew me off 'cause you like the ladies. 191 00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:18,929 Which is cool. I like the ladies, too. 192 00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:21,565 And right now, it's the two ladies I like. 193 00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,567 Robbie, if I were gonna go lesbian, 194 00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:27,187 she would be the last "les" I'd "bian." 195 00:08:27,189 --> 00:08:28,822 Listen, babe... 196 00:08:28,824 --> 00:08:29,973 You really hurt her. 197 00:08:29,975 --> 00:08:31,075 Stop. 198 00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:34,078 She sleep-eats trans fats thanks to you. 199 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,146 Here, stuff all of these in your mouth. 200 00:08:36,148 --> 00:08:40,817 Got it, your thing. I'll be quiet. 201 00:08:40,819 --> 00:08:42,836 Robbie, this isn't cool at all. 202 00:08:42,838 --> 00:08:44,988 Mm-mm. 203 00:08:44,990 --> 00:08:47,157 Showing up here after what you did? 204 00:08:47,159 --> 00:08:48,992 You go, girl. 205 00:08:48,994 --> 00:08:52,296 I have something to say to you and you had better listen. 206 00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:56,333 Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo. 207 00:08:56,335 --> 00:08:59,670 What are you, the relationship ghost? 208 00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:01,138 Robbie, just go! 209 00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:04,108 I can't say what I need to in front of the relationship ghost. 210 00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,943 I'll call you to come get your stuff 211 00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:07,061 and we can talk then. 212 00:09:07,063 --> 00:09:08,345 Leave the key. 213 00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:12,449 Straight up, Max, you're breaking my heart. 214 00:09:12,451 --> 00:09:15,569 You're the only woman that I feel this way about. 215 00:09:19,407 --> 00:09:21,825 Here. 216 00:09:21,827 --> 00:09:24,078 Ladies, I don't know what's going on here, 217 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:27,298 but it would've been a lot sexier if I was in it. 218 00:09:30,302 --> 00:09:32,636 Are you okay? 219 00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:35,038 If you wanna talk, I'm here. 220 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:38,225 Can I get a hit off that? 221 00:09:43,715 --> 00:09:47,384 You think these are good? 222 00:09:47,386 --> 00:09:50,504 God, we're poor. 223 00:09:55,710 --> 00:09:56,777 Morning! 224 00:09:56,779 --> 00:09:58,395 It's a beautiful day. 225 00:09:58,397 --> 00:10:02,016 These shades belong down. 226 00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:04,118 From now on, think of me as a vampire 227 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:06,870 without all the annoying marketing. 228 00:10:06,872 --> 00:10:08,122 Bad news. 229 00:10:08,124 --> 00:10:10,708 A pipe broke in the street so the water's off. 230 00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:13,460 Good news, when I went out to get us two coffees, 231 00:10:13,462 --> 00:10:16,747 I spoke to Juan and Javier, two city workers. 232 00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:19,850 And they assured me the water'll be on no later than 3:00. 233 00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:21,301 I also stopped at the health food store 234 00:10:21,303 --> 00:10:23,087 and got us a fresh-squeezed juice to split. 235 00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:24,855 It's ginger-apple-strawberry. 236 00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:26,089 That was the name of the hooker 237 00:10:26,091 --> 00:10:29,393 who had this apartment before me. 238 00:10:31,262 --> 00:10:32,563 What is this? 239 00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:33,981 From me. 240 00:10:33,983 --> 00:10:36,200 It says "Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed last night." 241 00:10:36,202 --> 00:10:39,737 I prefer my usual cash on the bedside table. 242 00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:42,773 When I went to the cute coffee place, 243 00:10:42,775 --> 00:10:45,108 I spoke to the counter girl, Nabulangi... 244 00:10:45,110 --> 00:10:47,878 If someone named Nabulangi is making an appearance 245 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,863 in the first sentence, I have to sit down. 246 00:10:49,865 --> 00:10:52,949 And she said her manager'll be in at 11:00. 247 00:10:52,951 --> 00:10:55,452 So I thought I'd chanel it up, 248 00:10:55,454 --> 00:10:56,620 walk on over there, 249 00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:59,289 introduce myself and your fabulous cupcakes. 250 00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:02,509 That's exactly what I was gonna do. 251 00:11:02,511 --> 00:11:05,262 I'm just gonna go say good-bye to Chestnut and get going. 252 00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:07,147 You know, having only one cute outfit 253 00:11:07,149 --> 00:11:12,586 takes hours off getting dressed. 254 00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:16,356 Oh. That is a lot of fresh Brooklyn. 255 00:11:16,358 --> 00:11:17,808 Morning, Chestnut. 256 00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:19,777 It's a beautiful... 257 00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:23,980 No. Way. 258 00:11:34,159 --> 00:11:38,712 Look, Chanel Number Two. 259 00:11:38,714 --> 00:11:42,332 Tell me it's mud. 260 00:11:42,334 --> 00:11:44,000 T-tell me it's mud. 261 00:11:44,002 --> 00:11:46,520 It's mud? 262 00:11:46,522 --> 00:11:47,938 What is that? 263 00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:51,358 A carrot? 264 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:54,561 There's carrots in the mud? 265 00:11:58,533 --> 00:12:00,701 There's no water. 266 00:12:00,703 --> 00:12:03,070 Oh, get it off me, please. 267 00:12:03,072 --> 00:12:04,071 Please do something. 268 00:12:04,073 --> 00:12:06,206 Just get it off me, get it off me. 269 00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:07,241 Stop! 270 00:12:07,243 --> 00:12:08,692 This is dry-clean only. 271 00:12:08,694 --> 00:12:10,861 Max, please, please take me 272 00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:13,914 somewhere they have a hot shower, I beg of you. 273 00:12:13,916 --> 00:12:15,367 Calm down, it's just mud. 274 00:12:15,487 --> 00:12:16,884 Max, please... 275 00:12:16,886 --> 00:12:19,470 Don't touch me! 276 00:12:24,801 --> 00:12:26,668 Thank you so much for taking me to shower 277 00:12:26,670 --> 00:12:27,853 at your babysitting job. 278 00:12:27,855 --> 00:12:29,704 Well, I didn't have much of a choice. 279 00:12:29,706 --> 00:12:32,140 You pulled the pillow knife on me. 280 00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:33,341 I'll just introduce myself to your boss 281 00:12:33,343 --> 00:12:35,326 and tell her what happened. 282 00:12:35,328 --> 00:12:36,344 Look, I don't want Peach to know you were here. 283 00:12:36,346 --> 00:12:38,463 This is a job. Not a meet-and-greet. 284 00:12:38,465 --> 00:12:39,664 Got it. 285 00:12:39,666 --> 00:12:41,183 You get in there, you take a five-minute shower, 286 00:12:41,185 --> 00:12:42,667 clean it up and go. 287 00:12:42,669 --> 00:12:45,287 Fine, I'll hide in the hallway till she's gone. 288 00:12:45,289 --> 00:12:48,690 No need, just follow me in. She never really looks at me. 289 00:12:48,692 --> 00:12:50,025 Morning! 290 00:12:50,027 --> 00:12:52,644 Hi, Max. 291 00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:55,313 Go! 292 00:12:55,315 --> 00:12:56,347 Hey, Peach. 293 00:12:56,349 --> 00:12:58,233 Uh, hair and makeup. 294 00:12:58,235 --> 00:12:59,484 What's the big occasion? 295 00:12:59,486 --> 00:13:01,736 Pilates. 296 00:13:01,738 --> 00:13:03,855 Max, good news. 297 00:13:03,857 --> 00:13:06,791 They found a way to make diamonds more sparkly? 298 00:13:06,793 --> 00:13:10,662 I got Brad and Angelina a playdate 299 00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:12,964 with another set of twins in the building. 300 00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:14,299 It starts in five minutes. 301 00:13:14,301 --> 00:13:15,417 Cool, what are their names? 302 00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:17,535 6B. 303 00:13:17,537 --> 00:13:19,504 Bye-bye, Brangelina. 304 00:13:19,506 --> 00:13:20,972 Mommy loves you. 305 00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:23,058 Guys? Before you leave, 306 00:13:23,060 --> 00:13:24,309 stop at this one. 307 00:13:24,311 --> 00:13:25,710 Angelina could use a little help. 308 00:13:25,712 --> 00:13:28,730 Contour that neck, she's a fatty. 309 00:13:28,732 --> 00:13:30,515 Peach, come on, that's baby fat. 310 00:13:30,517 --> 00:13:33,018 Still, kids can be cruel. 311 00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:35,820 Don't you listen to your mommy, Angelina. 312 00:13:35,822 --> 00:13:37,989 She never eats. 313 00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:41,159 Oh, no, she doesn't. 314 00:13:43,162 --> 00:13:44,546 Here it is. 315 00:13:44,548 --> 00:13:46,031 Caroline with an "E." 316 00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:48,232 I have your new and correct nametag. 317 00:13:48,234 --> 00:13:49,618 Oh, thank you, Han. 318 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:52,570 Oh. 319 00:13:52,572 --> 00:13:54,789 I've seen something I should not have. 320 00:13:54,791 --> 00:13:58,409 I will just put correct nametag here on counter. 321 00:13:58,411 --> 00:14:02,881 So sorry, but many thank you's. 322 00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:04,382 What are you doing? 323 00:14:04,384 --> 00:14:06,601 I know you said you don't want it up there. 324 00:14:06,603 --> 00:14:08,586 But now that you see it... 325 00:14:08,588 --> 00:14:10,272 How does it feel? 326 00:14:10,274 --> 00:14:11,856 It feels like you're not listening to me 327 00:14:11,858 --> 00:14:13,358 at this job or at my other job. 328 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:15,277 I said a five-minute shower and get out. 329 00:14:15,279 --> 00:14:16,861 Did you take a nap at Peach's? 330 00:14:16,863 --> 00:14:18,446 The thread count was calling to me. 331 00:14:18,448 --> 00:14:21,232 Peach found blonde hairs in her bed 332 00:14:21,234 --> 00:14:23,201 and thought her husband was cheating on her. 333 00:14:23,203 --> 00:14:25,987 Which he is, but that's not the point. 334 00:14:25,989 --> 00:14:28,657 You almost ruined a perfectly happy fake marriage, 335 00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:30,325 and there are innocent children involved. 336 00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:32,827 Well, I have some good news. 337 00:14:32,829 --> 00:14:34,446 Look, it's Nabulangi. 338 00:14:34,448 --> 00:14:36,464 I invited her in to taste your amazing cupcakes. 339 00:14:36,466 --> 00:14:39,084 And when she loves them, we'll have an in at her bakery. 340 00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:40,669 Come over and say hello. 341 00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:42,954 No, I can't now. I wanna call Robbie before we get too busy. 342 00:14:42,956 --> 00:14:44,639 Tell him when to come over and get his stuff. 343 00:14:44,641 --> 00:14:45,840 Max, wait. 344 00:14:45,842 --> 00:14:47,409 No, don't distract me. 345 00:14:47,411 --> 00:14:49,060 I wanna sound cool and hot and all like, 346 00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:51,963 "You can't have me anymore, sucka." 347 00:14:51,965 --> 00:14:53,064 Max... 348 00:14:53,066 --> 00:14:54,649 Robbie, it's me. 349 00:14:54,651 --> 00:14:57,819 Classy burp on your outgoing message. 350 00:14:57,821 --> 00:14:59,137 Max, I... 351 00:14:59,139 --> 00:15:00,188 No. 352 00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:02,073 I need you to come get your stuff tomorrow. 353 00:15:02,075 --> 00:15:03,692 I don't know how you've been surviving 354 00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:06,861 without your chin-up bar and Axe body spray. 355 00:15:06,863 --> 00:15:07,829 Max, hang up. 356 00:15:07,831 --> 00:15:10,281 I already called him. 357 00:15:10,283 --> 00:15:12,334 You called Robbie? 358 00:15:12,336 --> 00:15:13,418 You've done so much for me. 359 00:15:13,420 --> 00:15:15,253 I wanted to do something for you, too. 360 00:15:15,255 --> 00:15:16,755 So I called Robbie and I had him come over, 361 00:15:16,757 --> 00:15:18,206 and I gave him his stuff. 362 00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:20,458 Now you won't have to go through with all that mess. 363 00:15:20,460 --> 00:15:24,162 And I think you'd be pleased, I really let him have it. 364 00:15:24,164 --> 00:15:27,498 What is with you and boundaries? 365 00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:29,184 You're in my bed, you're in my boss' bed, 366 00:15:29,186 --> 00:15:30,635 and now you go and call Robbie? 367 00:15:30,637 --> 00:15:32,437 You're like... you're like your big-ass horse. 368 00:15:32,439 --> 00:15:34,338 Charging in everywhere you don't belong. 369 00:15:34,340 --> 00:15:36,507 I thought I was doing you a favor. 370 00:15:36,509 --> 00:15:39,444 In spite of what you say about the sounds I heard 371 00:15:39,446 --> 00:15:40,895 coming from your bedroom the other night, 372 00:15:40,897 --> 00:15:42,530 I know you're upset. 373 00:15:42,532 --> 00:15:46,184 I was masturbating. 374 00:15:46,186 --> 00:15:50,321 I love my job. 375 00:15:50,323 --> 00:15:53,675 I need to see you outside. Now. 376 00:15:53,677 --> 00:15:55,710 Don't get involved with her. 377 00:15:55,712 --> 00:15:57,695 She takes money from the homeless. 378 00:15:57,697 --> 00:15:59,748 Not true, Bob's an investor. 379 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:00,965 Be right back. 380 00:16:00,967 --> 00:16:04,169 Good cupcake, right? 381 00:16:07,139 --> 00:16:08,673 Max, I don't know how smart that was, 382 00:16:08,675 --> 00:16:11,309 blowing by our only potential business contact. 383 00:16:11,311 --> 00:16:14,679 You stole my breakup scene. 384 00:16:14,681 --> 00:16:16,564 The only remotely good thing about breaking up with a guy 385 00:16:16,566 --> 00:16:18,549 is telling him how much better you are than him 386 00:16:18,551 --> 00:16:20,235 when you give him back his stuff. 387 00:16:20,237 --> 00:16:21,853 I don't know if you noticed, 388 00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:23,738 but my entertainment budget is pretty low 389 00:16:23,740 --> 00:16:25,490 and I was really looking forward to that. 390 00:16:25,492 --> 00:16:28,026 And then you went and stole it. 391 00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:29,577 But I guess you couldn't help it, 392 00:16:29,579 --> 00:16:32,380 'cause that's what you Channings do, you steal things. 393 00:16:33,565 --> 00:16:35,083 Huh. 394 00:16:35,085 --> 00:16:36,501 Interesting. 395 00:16:36,503 --> 00:16:39,337 Okay, you wanted a breakup scene? 396 00:16:39,339 --> 00:16:40,538 You're in one. 397 00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:41,873 I'm breaking up with you. 398 00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:43,074 Oh, okay. 399 00:16:43,076 --> 00:16:45,543 The cupcake business is over, the dream is dead. 400 00:16:45,545 --> 00:16:48,579 Oh, I'm sure Nabulangi will be devastated. 401 00:16:48,581 --> 00:16:51,266 I don't need you or your cupcakes to survive. 402 00:16:51,268 --> 00:16:52,467 I'll figure something else out. 403 00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:55,270 Because, aside from your constant Wharton putdowns, 404 00:16:55,272 --> 00:16:56,688 I'm a business genius 405 00:16:56,690 --> 00:16:58,556 and I will always land on my feet. 406 00:16:58,558 --> 00:16:59,858 Oh, really? 407 00:16:59,860 --> 00:17:02,110 'Cause today you kind of landed on your front. 408 00:17:02,112 --> 00:17:03,812 We're done. 409 00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:06,097 After work tonight, I'll get my things and be gone. 410 00:17:06,099 --> 00:17:08,450 Ooh, you gonna load up your dream-filled wheelie bag 411 00:17:08,452 --> 00:17:11,102 and ride away on sir muds-a-lot? 412 00:17:11,104 --> 00:17:13,988 Go ahead. Be as negative as you want. 413 00:17:13,990 --> 00:17:16,092 'Cause you're in charge of your own future again. 414 00:17:16,212 --> 00:17:18,975 Oh, joke's on you. I don't have a future. 415 00:17:31,673 --> 00:17:32,940 Max... 416 00:17:32,942 --> 00:17:34,709 Are you up? 417 00:17:34,711 --> 00:17:36,444 No. 418 00:17:36,446 --> 00:17:39,096 Max, are you mad? 419 00:17:39,098 --> 00:17:40,097 Yes. 420 00:17:40,099 --> 00:17:42,883 Are you up and mad? 421 00:17:42,885 --> 00:17:45,353 No and yes. 422 00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:47,805 Oh, your bed's so soft. 423 00:17:47,807 --> 00:17:51,309 That's my boob. 424 00:17:51,311 --> 00:17:54,779 I know I moved out, but I came back. 425 00:17:54,781 --> 00:17:57,264 I took the rest of our dead dream money 426 00:17:57,266 --> 00:18:00,284 and bought some cocktails for myself and some people. 427 00:18:00,286 --> 00:18:02,570 And myself. 428 00:18:02,572 --> 00:18:04,205 Did you bring me back any of those? 429 00:18:04,207 --> 00:18:06,490 'Cause I can't listen to this sober. 430 00:18:06,492 --> 00:18:08,909 Max... 431 00:18:08,911 --> 00:18:12,246 I have nothing. 432 00:18:12,248 --> 00:18:15,082 I really need the cupcake business. 433 00:18:15,084 --> 00:18:18,285 I can be different. 434 00:18:18,287 --> 00:18:19,537 No, you can't. 435 00:18:19,539 --> 00:18:22,423 No, I can't. 436 00:18:22,425 --> 00:18:26,010 But I can be better. 437 00:18:26,012 --> 00:18:27,461 Please? 438 00:18:27,463 --> 00:18:30,231 Please, let's do this. 439 00:18:30,233 --> 00:18:32,433 I know you have a fear of success. 440 00:18:32,435 --> 00:18:36,136 You do, because no one ever believed in your dreams. 441 00:18:36,138 --> 00:18:39,807 But I believe in your dreams. 442 00:18:39,809 --> 00:18:41,826 We have a dream. 443 00:18:41,828 --> 00:18:44,311 God, you are so drunk. 444 00:18:44,313 --> 00:18:48,249 So you probably won't even remember this. 445 00:18:48,251 --> 00:18:53,054 I'm sorry I said that stuff about your father. 446 00:18:53,056 --> 00:18:54,755 Did you hear me? 447 00:18:54,757 --> 00:18:58,492 Max, are you up? 448 00:18:58,494 --> 00:19:04,432 Hey, do you have any more of those poor people chips? 449 00:19:05,834 --> 00:19:07,869 What's up, hangover three? 450 00:19:08,671 --> 00:19:09,937 Why are these up? 451 00:19:09,939 --> 00:19:13,441 I thought we were vampires. 452 00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:16,560 Here, I took the rest of last night's cupcake money, 453 00:19:16,562 --> 00:19:20,498 and brought you a coffee and a fresh juice. 454 00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:22,733 Which means that, after two days in business, 455 00:19:22,735 --> 00:19:26,153 we are $23 down from where we were. 456 00:19:26,155 --> 00:19:29,740 So we're still building our cupcake business? 457 00:19:29,742 --> 00:19:30,958 Sure. 458 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,960 All we need is how much? 459 00:19:32,962 --> 00:19:35,496 $250,000. 460 00:19:35,498 --> 00:19:38,466 Which is awesome. 461 00:19:38,468 --> 00:19:41,752 Max, I'm sorry I crossed all those boundaries. 462 00:19:41,754 --> 00:19:42,970 It's cool. 463 00:19:42,972 --> 00:19:44,922 Me and drunk Caroline worked it all out. 464 00:19:44,924 --> 00:19:46,924 In fact... 465 00:19:46,926 --> 00:19:49,205 She signed this paper. 466 00:19:51,898 --> 00:19:55,833 "I, drunk Caroline, am a..." 467 00:19:55,835 --> 00:19:57,651 What's that word? 468 00:19:57,653 --> 00:19:59,511 Punk ass ho. 469 00:20:00,656 --> 00:20:02,106 Thanks. 470 00:20:02,108 --> 00:20:05,659 "I, drunk Caroline, am a punk ass ho. 471 00:20:05,661 --> 00:20:08,162 "I promise to keep my big mouth shut, 472 00:20:08,164 --> 00:20:11,082 "and replace all of Max's poor people chips. 473 00:20:11,084 --> 00:20:17,070 I will no longer meddle in her relation-chips." 474 00:20:17,072 --> 00:20:20,424 You laughed about that until you threw up. 475 00:20:20,426 --> 00:20:21,709 Oh, and if you're wondering, 476 00:20:21,711 --> 00:20:24,962 no, the puke stains will not void this contract. 477 00:20:28,249 --> 00:20:29,798 God! 478 00:20:31,086 --> 00:20:33,437 I forgot again that we have a horse. 479 00:20:33,439 --> 00:20:34,939 Max, get him out of here. 480 00:20:34,941 --> 00:20:36,687 He doesn't know I'm a waitress. 481 00:20:39,896 --> 00:20:40,939 Chestnut. 482 00:20:46,267 --> 00:20:47,368 He is a champion. 483 00:20:47,370 --> 00:20:49,154 He learned that a lot faster than you did.