1
00:00:03,926 --> 00:00:06,262
All right, who's ready
to have a good time, huh?

2
00:00:06,262 --> 00:00:08,305
That's right.
So welcome here.

3
00:00:08,305 --> 00:00:10,599
Uh, show of hands,
how many people have been

4
00:00:10,599 --> 00:00:12,017
to a taping
of a TV show before?

5
00:00:12,017 --> 00:00:13,519
Thank you.

6
00:00:13,519 --> 00:00:17,189
Okay, just remember,
the movie's hilarious.

7
00:00:17,189 --> 00:00:18,482
Everyone buy tickets.

8
00:00:18,482 --> 00:00:20,776
- Let me ask you a question.
- Yeah?

9
00:00:20,776 --> 00:00:21,920
Do you think I'm good
in the movie?

10
00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:23,130
Come on, Kev,
I'm your agent.

11
00:00:23,130 --> 00:00:24,715
Of course, I think you're good
in the movie.

12
00:00:24,715 --> 00:00:26,782
You know who else thinks
you're good in the movie?

13
00:00:26,782 --> 00:00:28,826
The studio.
Now, go knock 'em dead.

14
00:00:28,826 --> 00:00:31,495
Big smiles, big laughs,
you're America's funny man.

15
00:00:31,495 --> 00:00:33,724
The house band's gonna
play a little bit for ya,

16
00:00:33,724 --> 00:00:34,808
and, uh, we're gonna have
a great time, all right?

17
00:00:34,808 --> 00:00:36,542
America's funny man.

18
00:00:39,378 --> 00:00:42,089
Oh, now, Kev,
people are just raving

19
00:00:42,089 --> 00:00:43,424
about this new movie
of yours.

20
00:00:43,424 --> 00:00:45,259
Oh, my God,
they are raving.

21
00:00:45,259 --> 00:00:48,637
You are working with
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson,

22
00:00:48,637 --> 00:00:50,723
playing
his comedy sidekick again.

23
00:00:50,723 --> 00:00:52,308
What is this,
the sixth time now?

24
00:00:52,308 --> 00:00:54,727
- Number six.
- How do you keep it so fresh?

25
00:00:54,727 --> 00:00:57,480
I mean, look,
Dwayne and I are, um,

26
00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:58,439
you know, we're friends.

27
00:00:58,439 --> 00:00:59,774
- Lucky.
- Hashtag, Jealous.

28
00:01:01,484 --> 00:01:03,986
He's lucky, too.
He's lucky, too.

29
00:01:03,986 --> 00:01:05,696
But, I mean, look,
when you are friends,

30
00:01:05,696 --> 00:01:07,114
you feed off of each other,

31
00:01:07,114 --> 00:01:09,074
that energy, of course,
transfers.

32
00:01:09,074 --> 00:01:10,510
But, uh, I don't know,
I would like to think

33
00:01:10,510 --> 00:01:13,704
of my-my characters
as-as heroes as well.

34
00:01:16,207 --> 00:01:19,627
I don't know...
I don't know why the laugh.

35
00:01:19,627 --> 00:01:21,378
I'm very serious.

36
00:01:21,378 --> 00:01:23,255
You know, I've actually
I've been...

37
00:01:23,255 --> 00:01:24,939
I've been trying to become
a leading man,

38
00:01:24,939 --> 00:01:27,176
you know, do more
of an action star thing,

39
00:01:27,176 --> 00:01:29,428
but I've been-I've been
somewhat typecast.

40
00:01:29,428 --> 00:01:30,864
For some reason, people only
see me as the funny guy.

41
00:01:30,864 --> 00:01:32,097
- You make me laugh.
- No.

42
00:01:32,097 --> 00:01:33,098
- Yeah.
- Thank you.

43
00:01:33,098 --> 00:01:34,284
Glad-glad, you know,
appreciate it.

44
00:01:34,284 --> 00:01:36,560
I'm not an easy audience.

45
00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:37,704
Yeah, you know,
but it's just it's...

46
00:01:37,704 --> 00:01:40,064
I can do more
than show up

47
00:01:40,064 --> 00:01:42,733
and do the funny
or do the dance. I'm...

48
00:01:42,733 --> 00:01:44,085
- Would you, though?
- Would you do that dance?

49
00:01:44,085 --> 00:01:45,109
- Come on.
- Come on!

50
00:01:45,109 --> 00:01:48,113
Who wants to see
Kevin dance, huh?

51
00:01:48,113 --> 00:01:50,699
We'll get
the "Macarena" going.

52
00:01:50,699 --> 00:01:51,539
No. No.

53
00:01:53,452 --> 00:01:54,787
I'm not...
I'm not gonna dance.

54
00:01:54,787 --> 00:01:56,264
Next time.
Next time then, for sure.

55
00:01:56,264 --> 00:01:57,581
Now, here's just a question.

56
00:01:57,581 --> 00:02:00,793
Like, okay, when you...
when you see Idris Elba, right,

57
00:02:00,793 --> 00:02:02,956
you see him and you go,
"Wow, that's an action star".

58
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,631
But if you took
six inches off of Idris,

59
00:02:05,631 --> 00:02:07,174
nobody...
nobody's gonna give a shit.

60
00:02:07,174 --> 00:02:08,676
- Okay-okay, just...
- Okay.

61
00:02:08,676 --> 00:02:10,845
Gentle reminder here,
it's a live broadcast.

62
00:02:10,845 --> 00:02:12,346
Got it.
But you get my point.

63
00:02:12,346 --> 00:02:13,722
Nobody's gonna care.
- Right.

64
00:02:13,722 --> 00:02:15,015
All right,
if he was smaller.

65
00:02:15,015 --> 00:02:16,660
I mean, I don't think
I know any action stars

66
00:02:16,660 --> 00:02:19,103
that are 5'7".
Can we name one?

67
00:02:19,103 --> 00:02:22,022
There's, um...
Oh, there's Mr. Tom Cruise.

68
00:02:22,022 --> 00:02:23,274
Oh, wonderful.

69
00:02:23,274 --> 00:02:24,960
Who we love.
A favorite here on the show.

70
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:26,545
Okay. Tom Cruise.
That's one. All right.

71
00:02:26,545 --> 00:02:27,903
- Jackie Chan.
- Yeah!

72
00:02:27,903 --> 00:02:30,322
- Isn't he great.
- Oh, he's a little guy.

73
00:02:30,322 --> 00:02:32,491
I feel like
you're being a dick.

74
00:02:32,491 --> 00:02:34,910
Is-Is this a bit?

75
00:02:34,910 --> 00:02:36,579
Are you guys...
is this a bit?

76
00:02:36,579 --> 00:02:39,123
I-I think it may have been.
Getting back to the movie,

77
00:02:39,123 --> 00:02:41,292
tell us-tell us
just how great this movie is.

78
00:02:41,292 --> 00:02:43,752
The, uh,
the movie's garbage.

79
00:02:43,752 --> 00:02:46,881
- Sorry?
- Yeah, the movie's garbage.

80
00:02:46,881 --> 00:02:49,550
Take the movie, ball it up,
throw it in the trash can.

81
00:02:49,550 --> 00:02:51,927
How many times do you need
to see me in a car

82
00:02:51,927 --> 00:02:53,846
with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson?

83
00:02:53,846 --> 00:02:56,599
And I'm the comedy sidekick,
and he's saving lives,

84
00:02:56,599 --> 00:02:58,976
and I got a catchphrase,
"Oh, hell no"?

85
00:02:58,976 --> 00:02:59,935
We love it
when you say that.

86
00:02:59,935 --> 00:03:01,770
Oh, good.
Can you do it again?

87
00:03:01,770 --> 00:03:04,315
Here's my question.
Why can't I be an action star?

88
00:03:04,315 --> 00:03:07,568
I read something online
about you being afraid

89
00:03:07,568 --> 00:03:09,069
of woodland creatures.

90
00:03:09,069 --> 00:03:10,487
- Oh, yes.
- About me what?

91
00:03:10,487 --> 00:03:11,631
Beaver?
It was it a squirrel?

92
00:03:11,631 --> 00:03:12,573
- Squirrel.
- A squirrel.

93
00:03:12,573 --> 00:03:13,532
- It was a squirrel.
- Yes.

94
00:03:13,532 --> 00:03:14,450
That you have a fear
of squirrels.

95
00:03:14,450 --> 00:03:15,451
Who's afraid of a squirrel?

96
00:03:15,451 --> 00:03:16,887
I'm not fuckin' afraid
of a squirrel.

97
00:03:16,887 --> 00:03:18,245
- Okay.
- Ooh.

98
00:03:18,245 --> 00:03:19,431
- I'm not afraid of shit!
- Okay, you've said it.

99
00:03:19,431 --> 00:03:21,224
You've made your point there.
- I'm not afraid of shit,

100
00:03:21,224 --> 00:03:23,167
and I'm more than just a guy
that does comedy.

101
00:03:23,167 --> 00:03:25,002
I'm a fuckin' action star,
all right?

102
00:03:25,002 --> 00:03:26,938
So why don't you start
taking me a little serious?

103
00:03:26,938 --> 00:03:28,797
Tell me what I am
and what I'm not.

104
00:03:28,797 --> 00:03:30,441
If I didn't have
what the fuck it takes,

105
00:03:30,441 --> 00:03:32,551
would I show this?
Or that?

106
00:03:35,387 --> 00:03:36,221
Back up.
- Yep.

107
00:03:36,221 --> 00:03:37,389
Kev, Kev, Kev.

108
00:03:37,389 --> 00:03:38,575
Kev, hey, you gotta go
back out there.

109
00:03:38,575 --> 00:03:39,642
Say it was a joke.

110
00:03:39,642 --> 00:03:41,161
I'm not telling them
it was a joke.

111
00:03:41,161 --> 00:03:42,394
You don't get it, man.

112
00:03:42,394 --> 00:03:43,955
All right? I'm trying
to be taken seriously.

113
00:03:43,955 --> 00:03:46,190
My whole life, I've dreamed
of becoming an action hero.

114
00:03:46,190 --> 00:03:48,359
Well, you know,
maybe instead of dreaming,

115
00:03:48,359 --> 00:03:49,794
you should just
stay in your own lane.

116
00:03:49,794 --> 00:03:51,654
What the fuck
did you just say?

117
00:03:51,654 --> 00:03:53,238
- What are you doin'?
- Ooh!

118
00:03:55,115 --> 00:03:56,158
Pssshhh...

119
00:03:58,202 --> 00:04:00,245
That was a bit.
Doin' a bit.

120
00:04:03,916 --> 00:04:05,542
<i>I'm not
afraid of!</i>

121
00:04:05,542 --> 00:04:06,895
<i>Okay, you've said it.
You've made your point there.</i>

122
00:04:06,895 --> 00:04:08,188
<i>- I'm not afraid of.
- Yup.</i>

123
00:04:08,188 --> 00:04:09,397
<i>And I'm more than just
a guy that does comedy.</i>

124
00:04:09,397 --> 00:04:11,090
<i>I'm a action star,
all right?</i>

125
00:04:11,090 --> 00:04:13,342
<i>So why don't you start?</i>

126
00:04:13,342 --> 00:04:15,094
<i>That was our star,
Kevin Hart.</i>

127
00:04:15,094 --> 00:04:19,765
<i>And apparently he's...
going through something.</i>

128
00:04:19,765 --> 00:04:21,451
<i>To say the least.
You don't see Tom Cruise...</i>

129
00:04:27,481 --> 00:04:28,792
I already know
what you're gonna say.

130
00:04:28,792 --> 00:04:30,818
You're gonna say apologize,
then after that...

131
00:04:30,818 --> 00:04:32,987
<i>No, no, no, Kev,
it's too late to apologize.</i>

132
00:04:32,987 --> 00:04:35,948
The studio already removed you
from the fuckin' billboard.

133
00:04:35,948 --> 00:04:38,075
So I'm done?
Just like that, I'm done?

134
00:04:38,075 --> 00:04:40,285
Maybe not.

135
00:04:40,285 --> 00:04:43,163
Claude Van De Velde
wants to meet with you.

136
00:04:46,417 --> 00:04:48,168
Claude Van De Velde?

137
00:04:48,168 --> 00:04:49,128
You talking about
the director?

138
00:04:49,128 --> 00:04:50,838
Yes, Claude Van De Velde,

139
00:04:50,838 --> 00:04:52,841
director of four of the six
biggest action movies

140
00:04:52,841 --> 00:04:56,343
of all time,
saw the interview...

141
00:04:56,343 --> 00:04:57,469
and wants to meet.

142
00:04:57,469 --> 00:04:59,179
Why?

143
00:04:59,179 --> 00:05:00,806
You know what?
It don't matter.

144
00:05:00,806 --> 00:05:02,033
It doesn't even
fucking matter.

145
00:05:02,033 --> 00:05:04,727
I'm there.
Okay? I'm there.

146
00:05:07,187 --> 00:05:08,564
Oh, shit.

147
00:05:16,488 --> 00:05:20,492
I have seen all your films.
I like all your films.

148
00:05:20,492 --> 00:05:22,828
But you, Kevin,
you don't like your films.

149
00:05:22,828 --> 00:05:26,373
- Wow, you can tell, huh?
- Of course I can tell.

150
00:05:26,373 --> 00:05:29,334
You and I,
we are the same.

151
00:05:29,334 --> 00:05:32,755
My movies have grossed
billions of dollars.

152
00:05:32,755 --> 00:05:34,006
Who cares?
- Yeah.

153
00:05:34,006 --> 00:05:36,842
I mean, it's not about
the money, right?

154
00:05:36,842 --> 00:05:40,929
It is about finding yourself
inside an artistic expression.

155
00:05:40,929 --> 00:05:42,681
Yes.

156
00:05:42,681 --> 00:05:46,185
I want to find you, Kevin.

157
00:05:46,185 --> 00:05:48,437
Will you let me find you?

158
00:05:48,437 --> 00:05:52,399
You found me.
I'm right here, man.

159
00:05:52,399 --> 00:05:55,944
My next project is
a serious gritty action film.

160
00:05:55,944 --> 00:06:00,574
It requires
a serious, gritty actor.

161
00:06:00,574 --> 00:06:02,785
You, Kevin.

162
00:06:02,785 --> 00:06:05,496
I want you
in the leading role.

163
00:06:05,496 --> 00:06:07,998
Holy shit, man.
You gotta be...

164
00:06:07,998 --> 00:06:10,667
Excuse you. Watch it, man.
- My apologies, sir.

165
00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:13,378
Mark Wahlberg would not
scream at a party server.

166
00:06:13,378 --> 00:06:15,631
Oh, I didn't scream.
I didn't scream.

167
00:06:15,631 --> 00:06:18,092
An action star
is tough, confident,

168
00:06:18,092 --> 00:06:19,718
unfazed by minor details

169
00:06:19,718 --> 00:06:22,930
that disrupt
the average person.

170
00:06:22,930 --> 00:06:25,140
Yeah, I-I was unfazed.

171
00:06:25,140 --> 00:06:26,409
I wasn't fazed
at all from that.

172
00:06:26,409 --> 00:06:28,519
If you really want
this part,

173
00:06:28,519 --> 00:06:31,271
I need you to attend
a training program.

174
00:06:31,271 --> 00:06:34,858
All the best action stars
have gone through it.

175
00:06:34,858 --> 00:06:36,294
Are you talkin'
like action star school?

176
00:06:36,294 --> 00:06:40,531
Stallone, Van Damme,
Steven Seagal,

177
00:06:40,531 --> 00:06:43,075
Jackie Chan,
they're all alums.

178
00:06:43,075 --> 00:06:44,701
I just kind of assumed
all those guys

179
00:06:44,701 --> 00:06:47,788
had to have the juice.
The mojo.

180
00:06:47,788 --> 00:06:49,873
Do you remember
what Matt Damon

181
00:06:49,873 --> 00:06:52,835
was before
he was Jason Bourne?

182
00:06:52,835 --> 00:06:54,419
Yeah.
He just won an Oscar.

183
00:06:54,419 --> 00:06:56,130
Neither do I.

184
00:06:56,130 --> 00:06:59,842
This program turned a no-name
Matt Damon into a leading man

185
00:06:59,842 --> 00:07:01,552
revered around the world.

186
00:07:01,552 --> 00:07:04,096
Look,
with all due respect,

187
00:07:04,096 --> 00:07:07,141
I don't need that. I don't...
I don't need none of that.

188
00:07:07,141 --> 00:07:08,767
I'm ready now.

189
00:07:08,767 --> 00:07:12,271
I'm ready right now.

190
00:07:12,271 --> 00:07:14,982
Down here, Kevin.

191
00:07:14,982 --> 00:07:16,692
You don't think
you need training?

192
00:07:16,692 --> 00:07:19,278
You want the part
right now?

193
00:07:19,278 --> 00:07:23,490
Well, your new body is waiting
for you on that rooftop.

194
00:07:26,410 --> 00:07:28,287
Go and get it.

195
00:07:42,217 --> 00:07:43,552
Oh, shit!
Ahh!

196
00:07:44,761 --> 00:07:46,513
Help! Help me!
Help me!

197
00:07:46,513 --> 00:07:48,307
So good.

198
00:07:48,307 --> 00:07:49,892
He's doing his famous
"help me" scene

199
00:07:49,892 --> 00:07:51,435
from "Ride Along 2".
- Help!

200
00:07:55,272 --> 00:07:57,125
<i>Look, Kev,
I don't love the idea</i>

201
00:07:57,125 --> 00:07:58,859
<i>of you driving out
to the middle of nowhere</i>

202
00:07:58,859 --> 00:08:00,944
<i>- to go to some...
- Action star school.</i>

203
00:08:00,944 --> 00:08:02,654
<i>Right, yes.
That.</i>

204
00:08:02,654 --> 00:08:05,115
<i>Kev, maybe we just
wait a little longer.</i>

205
00:08:05,115 --> 00:08:06,301
<i>Eventually,
the studios will forget</i>

206
00:08:06,301 --> 00:08:07,659
<i>how badly you fucked up,</i>

207
00:08:07,659 --> 00:08:08,803
<i>and they'll offer you
a new sidekick role.</i>

208
00:08:08,803 --> 00:08:11,872
No, this is my time
to shine.

209
00:08:11,872 --> 00:08:14,333
You believe in me,
don't you?

210
00:08:14,333 --> 00:08:17,711
Don't you?
Danny?

211
00:08:17,711 --> 00:08:20,339
You believe in... Oh, shit.

212
00:08:20,339 --> 00:08:21,965
Damn reception.

213
00:08:29,806 --> 00:08:31,767
Oh, hell no.

214
00:08:42,819 --> 00:08:45,489
Ron Wilcox?

215
00:08:45,489 --> 00:08:48,075
Oh, shit.

216
00:08:48,075 --> 00:08:50,077
Don't be a bitch, Kevin.

217
00:08:50,077 --> 00:08:53,914
Be Academy Award-winning
Matt Damon.

218
00:08:53,914 --> 00:08:55,707
Get the fuck off my car.

219
00:09:00,045 --> 00:09:01,838
Uh...

220
00:09:01,838 --> 00:09:02,558
Hello?

221
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:08,637
Anybody here?

222
00:09:08,637 --> 00:09:10,889
Claude Van De Velde,
he sent me.

223
00:09:10,889 --> 00:09:12,575
I don't know, you tell me
what you wanna tell me.

224
00:09:12,575 --> 00:09:15,060
Why are you here?
Why are you here?

225
00:09:15,060 --> 00:09:17,396
- Where's my nephew at?
- Uh, fellas?

226
00:09:17,396 --> 00:09:18,623
What do you mean
where's your nephew?

227
00:09:18,623 --> 00:09:20,124
I don't know where the fuck
your nephew is.

228
00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:25,112
- Hey, excuse me?
- Now you don't trust me?

229
00:09:25,112 --> 00:09:27,030
I know you murdered
my nephew, Rodrigo.

230
00:09:27,030 --> 00:09:30,075
Bullshit, motherfucker!
I didn't murder Rodrigo.

231
00:09:30,075 --> 00:09:32,494
Look, you got your money.
I got my shipment.

232
00:09:32,494 --> 00:09:34,538
I don't know
where Rodrigo is.

233
00:09:34,538 --> 00:09:36,081
Maybe he's fucking
your mother.

234
00:09:36,081 --> 00:09:37,541
Oh, training
has already begun.

235
00:09:37,541 --> 00:09:40,252
Okay. Uh...

236
00:09:40,252 --> 00:09:42,546
You. You. Oh, come on!
Bring it! Bring it!

237
00:09:42,546 --> 00:09:44,589
Come on, bring that bat,
motherfucker!

238
00:09:44,589 --> 00:09:45,589
Hey!

239
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:49,386
You wanna
push somebody around?

240
00:09:49,386 --> 00:09:52,431
Try me out.

241
00:09:52,431 --> 00:09:56,059
Hey, and what are you,
a tough guy?

242
00:09:56,059 --> 00:09:57,853
Goddamn right,
I'm a tough guy.

243
00:09:57,853 --> 00:09:59,688
North Philadelphia tough.

244
00:09:59,688 --> 00:10:01,857
I'm Kevin motherfucking...

245
00:10:06,778 --> 00:10:07,528
Ah!

246
00:10:10,949 --> 00:10:12,326
What the hell happened?

247
00:10:12,326 --> 00:10:14,828
Welcome to Ron Wilcox
Action Star School.

248
00:10:14,828 --> 00:10:16,246
I'm Ron Wilcox,

249
00:10:16,246 --> 00:10:17,622
and that was
your first lesson.

250
00:10:17,622 --> 00:10:19,146
Gettin' hit in the head
with a bat?

251
00:10:19,146 --> 00:10:22,252
Oh, you are naive.
That was a prop bat.

252
00:10:22,252 --> 00:10:24,456
It that was made of plastic.
- Wasn't goddamn plastic.

253
00:10:24,456 --> 00:10:25,648
I've been hit
with a bat before,

254
00:10:25,648 --> 00:10:26,899
I know what a metal bat
fuckin' feel like.

255
00:10:26,899 --> 00:10:28,258
All right.

256
00:10:28,258 --> 00:10:30,761
Hey, Mr. Van De Velde
told me to tell him

257
00:10:30,761 --> 00:10:33,013
if you complain about
anything being too difficult.

258
00:10:33,013 --> 00:10:34,514
No.
No, no, no, no, no.

259
00:10:34,514 --> 00:10:35,616
I'm not complaining.
- Mm-hmm.

260
00:10:35,616 --> 00:10:36,516
I'm not complaining
about nothing.

261
00:10:36,516 --> 00:10:37,851
I loved that.

262
00:10:37,851 --> 00:10:38,769
I thought it was great,
to be honest with you,

263
00:10:38,769 --> 00:10:40,103
it gave me a rush.

264
00:10:40,103 --> 00:10:41,980
Good.
Let's take the tour.

265
00:10:41,980 --> 00:10:43,899
- Yeah.
- Come on.

266
00:10:43,899 --> 00:10:45,984
This place is to be
a slaughterhouse

267
00:10:45,984 --> 00:10:47,069
up till the '70s.

268
00:10:47,069 --> 00:10:48,779
And then,
as legend has it,

269
00:10:48,779 --> 00:10:51,615
the animals revolted
against their tormentors

270
00:10:51,615 --> 00:10:53,033
and they slaughtered
the humans.

271
00:10:53,033 --> 00:10:54,576
Oh, my God.

272
00:10:54,576 --> 00:10:57,037
And my pal, Charles Norris,
you know him as Chuck,

273
00:10:57,037 --> 00:10:59,081
well, he needed a place
to train.

274
00:10:59,081 --> 00:11:01,041
I bought it.
I mentored him.

275
00:11:01,041 --> 00:11:03,543
And that's why he's the badass
that he is today.

276
00:11:03,543 --> 00:11:04,263
Hmm...

277
00:11:05,670 --> 00:11:11,426
Yeah, he nearly died
within these walls.

278
00:11:11,426 --> 00:11:15,639
And that's how Ron Wilcox
Action Star School got born.

279
00:11:15,639 --> 00:11:18,308
Ron Wilcox A.S.S.,
for short.

280
00:11:18,308 --> 00:11:19,976
What the fuck
did you just say to me?

281
00:11:25,023 --> 00:11:27,442
Did Matt Da...
Matt Damon, go here?

282
00:11:27,442 --> 00:11:31,738
Oh, Matty boy!
Fuck yeah, Matt Damon!

283
00:11:31,738 --> 00:11:33,740
Before he came to me,
he was a no name actor

284
00:11:33,740 --> 00:11:35,951
from New England.
He was nothing.

285
00:11:35,951 --> 00:11:39,329
He was a hundred pounds
soakin' wet.

286
00:11:39,329 --> 00:11:40,807
You sure we're talking about
the same Matt Damon?

287
00:11:40,807 --> 00:11:42,499
Hell yeah.
Matt Damon!

288
00:11:42,499 --> 00:11:45,210
Huh. Okay. Yeah...

289
00:11:45,210 --> 00:11:48,880
Un-unh. Rule number one,
no phones 'til you graduate.

290
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:50,173
Okay.
I run an empire,

291
00:11:50,173 --> 00:11:51,359
so unfortunately,
I need my...

292
00:11:51,359 --> 00:11:52,652
Okay, fine,
you know what I'll do?

293
00:11:52,652 --> 00:11:53,778
I'll just call
Mr. Van De Velde,

294
00:11:53,778 --> 00:11:55,679
and I tell him,
"Oh, the phone policy

295
00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:58,723
"wasn't working for him.
It wasn't to his liking."

296
00:11:58,723 --> 00:12:00,725
I know what
you're gonna do with this.

297
00:12:00,725 --> 00:12:02,369
You're going to make calls
to Hollywood.

298
00:12:02,369 --> 00:12:04,062
You're gonna say,
"Hello, Hollywood.

299
00:12:04,062 --> 00:12:05,647
"Ron's school
is too tough for me.

300
00:12:05,647 --> 00:12:07,315
"I need more drugs."
- No.

301
00:12:07,315 --> 00:12:09,359
Yeah, you're gonna say,
"Oh, I'm Kevin Hart.

302
00:12:09,359 --> 00:12:11,653
"I need more caviar
and champagne."

303
00:12:11,653 --> 00:12:14,156
I just wanna talk
to my employees.

304
00:12:14,156 --> 00:12:16,366
That's fine,
but I'm still keeping it.

305
00:12:16,366 --> 00:12:18,201
Okay.

306
00:12:21,246 --> 00:12:23,290
Okay, until you graduate,

307
00:12:23,290 --> 00:12:25,709
you are forbidden from
visiting the outside world.

308
00:12:25,709 --> 00:12:28,044
You'll stay here.
- Say what?

309
00:12:28,044 --> 00:12:30,130
You got your bed,
you got your toilet,

310
00:12:30,130 --> 00:12:33,884
you got your sink.
All the modern amenities.

311
00:12:40,015 --> 00:12:41,558
Okay.

312
00:12:41,558 --> 00:12:44,102
It's supposed
to toughen me up.

313
00:12:44,102 --> 00:12:46,354
Okay, I get it.

314
00:12:46,354 --> 00:12:50,025
Yeah, I'm good with that.

315
00:12:50,025 --> 00:12:52,819
Yeah, might be a little
too good with it.

316
00:12:52,819 --> 00:12:56,865
And rule number two,
No fucking on the premises.

317
00:12:56,865 --> 00:12:59,493
No anal, no blowjobs,
no nothin'.

318
00:13:01,703 --> 00:13:05,248
Who else is here?

319
00:13:05,248 --> 00:13:07,167
Just me.

320
00:13:12,255 --> 00:13:14,007
Twenty minutes
'til lights out.

321
00:13:19,387 --> 00:13:20,514
So those...

322
00:13:20,514 --> 00:13:22,200
those two Colombian guys
that hit me in the head

323
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,017
with the prop bat,
they were actors, right?

324
00:13:24,017 --> 00:13:26,520
Yeah, exactly.

325
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:29,022
Okay, rule number three,

326
00:13:29,022 --> 00:13:31,900
When you're under this roof,
your name is no longer Kevin,

327
00:13:31,900 --> 00:13:34,361
it's Agent Hart,
and you'll refer to me

328
00:13:34,361 --> 00:13:38,365
as Ron Wilcox, or Ron,
or Wilcox, or Coach Ron.

329
00:13:38,365 --> 00:13:39,491
I like Coach Ron.

330
00:13:39,491 --> 00:13:41,243
- And I refer to you as...
- Agent Hart.

331
00:13:41,243 --> 00:13:42,326
- Right.
- Right.

332
00:13:42,326 --> 00:13:43,453
- Yes.
- See, I'm on it.

333
00:13:43,453 --> 00:13:45,830
Now I assume you got me in
this FBI jacket

334
00:13:45,830 --> 00:13:47,874
and stuff for a reason.
So, what is it?

335
00:13:47,874 --> 00:13:49,709
Hey, would you do me
a favor?

336
00:13:49,709 --> 00:13:50,961
Yeah.

337
00:13:50,961 --> 00:13:53,505
Kevin, would you
grab that chair for me?

338
00:13:53,505 --> 00:13:54,506
- Yeah.
- Would you?

339
00:13:54,506 --> 00:13:56,424
- You mean this one?
- No, goddammit!

340
00:13:56,424 --> 00:13:58,843
I said respond
only to Agent Hart!

341
00:13:58,843 --> 00:14:00,093
Fuck!

342
00:14:03,348 --> 00:14:05,433
You just said that.
I fucked up. I'm sorry.

343
00:14:05,433 --> 00:14:06,677
That's not gonna
happen again.

344
00:14:06,677 --> 00:14:08,019
Why don't you just
call me Kevin?

345
00:14:08,019 --> 00:14:09,980
Okay, in your life,
have you ever heard

346
00:14:09,980 --> 00:14:14,859
an action star leading man
ever called Kevin?

347
00:14:14,859 --> 00:14:16,343
I mean, Kevin James
in "Mall Cop".

348
00:14:16,343 --> 00:14:18,863
No, no. Kevin is the name
of a punk bitch.

349
00:14:18,863 --> 00:14:21,700
Ethan Hunt,
that is an action star name.

350
00:14:21,700 --> 00:14:23,702
Tom Cruise was my alumni.

351
00:14:23,702 --> 00:14:25,620
For nine years of his life,

352
00:14:25,620 --> 00:14:28,331
he only responded
to Ethan Hunt

353
00:14:28,331 --> 00:14:30,834
whether he was
on-camera or off-camera.

354
00:14:30,834 --> 00:14:33,211
Whether he was in the shower,
or on the toilet.

355
00:14:33,211 --> 00:14:34,921
Whether he was fucking,
or not fucking.

356
00:14:34,921 --> 00:14:36,256
- Okay, I...
- If he was even...

357
00:14:36,256 --> 00:14:40,135
- I understand, Coach Ron!
- Do you? Do you really?

358
00:14:40,135 --> 00:14:43,471
I hope so, for your sake.

359
00:14:43,471 --> 00:14:46,266
Because your life
depends on it.

360
00:14:46,266 --> 00:14:48,852
Okay, next lesson.

361
00:14:48,852 --> 00:14:50,812
Every leading man
needs to know

362
00:14:50,812 --> 00:14:52,606
how to run into
a burning building

363
00:14:52,606 --> 00:14:54,024
and save a stranger.
- Hmm.

364
00:14:59,362 --> 00:15:00,905
Wow!

365
00:15:00,905 --> 00:15:03,033
Holy shit.
How'd you do that, man?

366
00:15:03,033 --> 00:15:05,702
And the stranger that
we are going to save today

367
00:15:05,702 --> 00:15:10,415
is our own action star dummy,
little Kevin.

368
00:15:12,042 --> 00:15:14,794
- That's supposed to be me?
- I don't see the resemblance.

369
00:15:14,794 --> 00:15:16,046
Are you fucking kidding?

370
00:15:16,046 --> 00:15:19,049
No, w-we've had this dummy
for years, buddy.

371
00:15:19,049 --> 00:15:22,010
<i>- Oh, hell, no.
- Bitch, that's my line.</i>

372
00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:23,738
I've said that line in,
like, twelve movies.

373
00:15:23,738 --> 00:15:25,305
Agent Hart,
are you a narcissist?

374
00:15:25,305 --> 00:15:26,055
No.

375
00:15:26,806 --> 00:15:28,034
Do you think the whole world
is all about you?

376
00:15:28,034 --> 00:15:29,601
- That's not... I'm not...
- No.

377
00:15:29,601 --> 00:15:31,645
You look at you
and then you look at him.

378
00:15:31,645 --> 00:15:33,608
- That's what...
- Look at you, and look at him.

379
00:15:33,608 --> 00:15:37,067
Do you see any resemblance?
- Kind of sort of, man!

380
00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:40,236
O-Okay, all right.
Okay, maybe I'm crazy.

381
00:15:40,236 --> 00:15:42,238
<i>Help!
Help me!</i>

382
00:15:42,238 --> 00:15:45,659
<i>Oh, hell no!
Help! Help me!</i>

383
00:15:45,659 --> 00:15:47,285
<i>Oh, hell no!</i>

384
00:15:47,285 --> 00:15:49,996
Now, safety during stunts
is of the utmost importance.

385
00:15:49,996 --> 00:15:51,682
Yeah, but I mean,
that's why you got stuntmen,

386
00:15:51,682 --> 00:15:54,751
right?
- Watch it.

387
00:15:54,751 --> 00:15:56,378
No, for the other guys,
not for me.

388
00:15:56,378 --> 00:15:58,588
T-the lightweights.
I don't...

389
00:15:58,588 --> 00:16:01,549
Okay, your jacket
is flame retardant,

390
00:16:01,549 --> 00:16:03,551
which means that
if you catch on fire,

391
00:16:03,551 --> 00:16:06,596
don't panic, I will come in
and put you out.

392
00:16:06,596 --> 00:16:09,140
Okay.
Y-You're gonna...

393
00:16:09,140 --> 00:16:10,910
Okay, I feel-I feel good...
I feel good about that.

394
00:16:10,910 --> 00:16:13,728
When you're ready,
I want you to storm the house,

395
00:16:13,728 --> 00:16:16,481
find the victim,
and bring him to safety.

396
00:16:18,942 --> 00:16:20,777
What is that?

397
00:16:20,777 --> 00:16:22,404
What are you doing?
I do...

398
00:16:22,404 --> 00:16:25,073
Psyching myself up.

399
00:16:31,287 --> 00:16:33,998
It's hot!
Hot!

400
00:16:46,469 --> 00:16:48,304
It's fucking hot!

401
00:16:48,304 --> 00:16:51,182
Where the fuck are you at?
Oh, God.

402
00:16:51,182 --> 00:16:54,018
Oh, fuck, I can't see shit!

403
00:16:54,018 --> 00:16:56,229
Little Kev?

404
00:16:56,229 --> 00:16:59,149
Excuse me,
are you Ron Wilcox?

405
00:16:59,149 --> 00:17:01,276
Oh, hello.
How are you?

406
00:17:01,276 --> 00:17:03,570
- Jordan King.
- We've been waiting for you.

407
00:17:03,570 --> 00:17:05,780
<i>Help! Help me!</i>

408
00:17:05,780 --> 00:17:07,657
<i>- I've got you, little Kev.
- Oh, hell no!</i>

409
00:17:07,657 --> 00:17:09,784
I'm about to save
your little beautiful black ass.

410
00:17:09,784 --> 00:17:12,537
<i>Help! Help me!</i>

411
00:17:12,537 --> 00:17:14,205
<i>Oh, hell no!</i>

412
00:17:14,205 --> 00:17:15,457
What the fuck?

413
00:17:15,457 --> 00:17:17,333
<i>Who is this?
- Help! Help me!</i>

414
00:17:17,333 --> 00:17:19,961
<i>Oh, hell no!
- What the...</i>

415
00:17:19,961 --> 00:17:23,381
<i>Help! Help me!
Oh, hell no!</i>

416
00:17:23,381 --> 00:17:25,175
It's fucking hot!

417
00:17:25,175 --> 00:17:26,468
Get your ass up.

418
00:17:26,468 --> 00:17:28,970
Yeah, um,
I'm just so nervous.

419
00:17:28,970 --> 00:17:31,347
I've never been in
an action movie before.

420
00:17:31,347 --> 00:17:32,974
I just wanna bring
my A-game here.

421
00:17:32,974 --> 00:17:35,143
- 90% is mental, okay?
- Oh, shit... Oh, shit!

422
00:17:35,143 --> 00:17:37,812
You are gonna be fantastic.

423
00:17:37,812 --> 00:17:40,356
I just know it.
- Oh, shit.

424
00:17:40,356 --> 00:17:42,525
Is he okay?
- Oh, God.

425
00:17:42,525 --> 00:17:44,652
You leave this guy alone
for five seconds.

426
00:17:44,652 --> 00:17:45,987
Geez.
- Put me out! Put me out!

427
00:17:45,987 --> 00:17:48,615
Put me out! Put me out!
Put me out!

428
00:17:51,910 --> 00:17:53,995
- Is he okay?
- Oh, he's fine.

429
00:17:53,995 --> 00:17:55,663
Gal Gadot was training with me,

430
00:17:55,663 --> 00:17:57,499
she was on fire
for twelve minutes.

431
00:17:57,499 --> 00:17:59,709
She put herself out
with a blanket.

432
00:17:59,709 --> 00:18:02,337
He barely lasted
twelve seconds.

433
00:18:02,337 --> 00:18:04,088
Is this funny to you?

434
00:18:04,088 --> 00:18:07,217
Hey, a leading man must learn
not to sweat the small stuff.

435
00:18:07,217 --> 00:18:09,060
What are you talking about
the small stuff?

436
00:18:09,060 --> 00:18:10,970
I was on fucking fire,
Coach Ron!

437
00:18:10,970 --> 00:18:12,472
Hey, knock it off!

438
00:18:12,472 --> 00:18:14,849
There's a lady present,
and I want you to meet her.

439
00:18:14,849 --> 00:18:17,101
Agent Hart,
this is Agent Jordan King.

440
00:18:17,101 --> 00:18:18,228
She'll be your bunkmate.

441
00:18:18,228 --> 00:18:19,854
It is a pleasure
to meet you.

442
00:18:19,854 --> 00:18:21,499
My pleasure.
Okay, you wanna explain to me

443
00:18:21,499 --> 00:18:23,316
why she get
this nice introduction?

444
00:18:23,316 --> 00:18:25,169
Why isn't she getting
hit in the head with a bat?

445
00:18:25,169 --> 00:18:26,861
When are you gonna bop her?
- Excuse me?

446
00:18:26,861 --> 00:18:29,239
Okay, you know, just...

447
00:18:29,239 --> 00:18:31,616
When he does this kind of thing,
I just zone him out.

448
00:18:31,616 --> 00:18:33,761
When he starts to whine.
Come on, I'll give you a tour.

449
00:18:33,761 --> 00:18:35,912
Okay.

450
00:18:35,912 --> 00:18:37,681
Now, this used to be
a slaughterhouse years ago,

451
00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:39,082
up until the 70's...

452
00:18:44,003 --> 00:18:45,839
...which brings me
to rule number two.

453
00:18:45,839 --> 00:18:48,758
There'll be no sexual
intercourse on the premises.

454
00:18:48,758 --> 00:18:53,137
Uh, yeah, um,
that won't be a problem.

455
00:18:55,598 --> 00:18:57,851
I didn't think it would be.

456
00:18:57,851 --> 00:19:01,646
I know you have to say it.
I-It's fine, we're good.

457
00:19:01,646 --> 00:19:03,565
All right.
So, hey, take a beat, okay?

458
00:19:03,565 --> 00:19:05,692
Relax, and we'll see you
out in twenty

459
00:19:05,692 --> 00:19:08,069
on the training ground, okay?

460
00:19:08,069 --> 00:19:09,487
Thanks, Ron.
You're the best.

461
00:19:09,487 --> 00:19:12,615
Hey, it's a pleasure.

462
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,830
He's a fucking sociopath.

463
00:19:18,830 --> 00:19:21,541
- How do you mean?
- How do I mean?

464
00:19:21,541 --> 00:19:23,126
Do you really wanna know
how I mean?

465
00:19:23,126 --> 00:19:24,228
Because I was here
a couple days ago

466
00:19:24,228 --> 00:19:25,587
and shit hit the fan.

467
00:19:25,587 --> 00:19:27,064
There was a guy in here
accusing him

468
00:19:27,064 --> 00:19:29,299
of murdering some dude
named Rodrigo.

469
00:19:29,299 --> 00:19:31,134
- Rodrigo?
- Yes, Rodrigo.

470
00:19:31,134 --> 00:19:32,218
Saw a whole thing.

471
00:19:32,218 --> 00:19:33,571
And when I first
walked in this bitch,

472
00:19:33,571 --> 00:19:35,221
they hit me in the head
with a bat.

473
00:19:35,221 --> 00:19:37,807
Not no plastic bat.
With a fucking metal bat!

474
00:19:37,807 --> 00:19:40,476
And today, today he let me
catch myself on fire!

475
00:19:40,476 --> 00:19:43,104
"Let me catch
myself on fire"?

476
00:19:43,104 --> 00:19:44,415
I don't know why
you gotta sound it out.

477
00:19:44,415 --> 00:19:47,650
Yes. Let me catch...
no, I see why you did that.

478
00:19:47,650 --> 00:19:49,110
Because if you slow it down,

479
00:19:49,110 --> 00:19:50,028
you slow down,
it don't sound right.

480
00:19:50,028 --> 00:19:51,446
But you get what I'm saying.

481
00:19:51,446 --> 00:19:53,823
It happened.
It fucking happened.

482
00:19:53,823 --> 00:19:55,074
Look, I'm sorry, all right?

483
00:19:55,074 --> 00:19:56,701
It's just,
I don't have my phone,

484
00:19:56,701 --> 00:19:58,661
it's weird in here,

485
00:19:58,661 --> 00:19:59,930
and stuff is just starting to
fuck with me.

486
00:19:59,930 --> 00:20:02,665
Maybe-maybe I'm going
a little stir crazy.

487
00:20:02,665 --> 00:20:05,001
I don't know.

488
00:20:05,001 --> 00:20:09,005
That's shit.
That's shit water.

489
00:20:09,005 --> 00:20:11,132
Yep, God damn.

490
00:20:11,132 --> 00:20:14,886
Well, you're
not alone anymore, so...

491
00:20:14,886 --> 00:20:20,683
Yeah, well, maybe, but...
Hey, do I know you?

492
00:20:20,683 --> 00:20:21,433
Oh.

493
00:20:24,062 --> 00:20:26,940
I do!
Fuck!

494
00:20:26,940 --> 00:20:29,233
You're the girl from
that sitcom with the robot.

495
00:20:29,233 --> 00:20:30,586
The robot that was
a butler, right?

496
00:20:30,586 --> 00:20:31,712
You used to argue
with the butler,

497
00:20:31,712 --> 00:20:33,696
"Uh-uh,
get the fuck out of here".

498
00:20:33,696 --> 00:20:35,823
You'd do the thing,
"Butler, bitch".

499
00:20:35,823 --> 00:20:37,951
Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.

500
00:20:37,951 --> 00:20:39,661
- That's me.
- Wow.

501
00:20:39,661 --> 00:20:42,956
Well, was.
I just quit.

502
00:20:42,956 --> 00:20:45,708
Kathryn Bigelow offered me
the lead in her next movie,

503
00:20:45,708 --> 00:20:48,586
which is huge, since there are,
like, what,

504
00:20:48,586 --> 00:20:51,130
three total action roles
for women?

505
00:20:51,130 --> 00:20:52,799
Oh, it's a lot
more than that.

506
00:20:52,799 --> 00:20:55,760
But congrats.

507
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:58,972
Are you... I mean,
you want me to name 'em?

508
00:20:58,972 --> 00:21:01,095
I can go down the list.
You got Wonder Woman, right?

509
00:21:01,095 --> 00:21:02,600
You know, the Black Widow.

510
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:07,522
You got, um, what was the one
with the woman with the, uh...

511
00:21:07,522 --> 00:21:11,651
she's, uh... what's...
that's three.

512
00:21:11,651 --> 00:21:15,989
Anyway, um, it's all riding on
this action school.

513
00:21:15,989 --> 00:21:18,157
I've just gotta prove to Ron
that I've got the chops,

514
00:21:18,157 --> 00:21:19,409
that I'm fit enough.

515
00:21:19,409 --> 00:21:21,327
You ain't gotta
prove that to nobody.

516
00:21:21,327 --> 00:21:23,496
You are fit.

517
00:21:23,496 --> 00:21:27,166
When you walked in that door
I said, "God damn."

518
00:21:27,166 --> 00:21:29,127
Not like that.

519
00:21:29,127 --> 00:21:32,046
I'm not saying it like that.
I don't mean it that way.

520
00:21:32,046 --> 00:21:33,490
- I'm just here to train...
- Yeah.

521
00:21:33,490 --> 00:21:36,551
...not make friends.
So, just to be clear.

522
00:21:36,551 --> 00:21:38,886
We're-we're here for
the same thing, right?

523
00:21:38,886 --> 00:21:40,054
Fuck friendship.
- Good.

524
00:21:40,054 --> 00:21:41,304
Yeah.

525
00:21:43,016 --> 00:21:45,096
- Mind if I use the bathroom?
- Do what you gotta do.

526
00:21:45,096 --> 00:21:46,644
The bathroom right there.

527
00:21:46,644 --> 00:21:50,189
Yeah, I'm gonna
need you to just...

528
00:21:50,189 --> 00:21:54,193
Oh. You gotta shit.

529
00:21:56,779 --> 00:21:59,198
Now in this lesson,
we're going to focus

530
00:21:59,198 --> 00:22:02,827
and explore the action star's
motivations.

531
00:22:02,827 --> 00:22:05,204
Agent King,
what is your motivation?

532
00:22:05,204 --> 00:22:06,956
After working undercover
in Paris,

533
00:22:06,956 --> 00:22:08,833
I go down to the basement
of the Louvre,

534
00:22:08,833 --> 00:22:11,794
where I thwart the theft of
an ancient Egyptian artifact

535
00:22:11,794 --> 00:22:14,047
when I'm accosted by
a rogue agent.

536
00:22:14,047 --> 00:22:16,507
- Good, Agent Hart.
- Accost?

537
00:22:16,507 --> 00:22:17,651
That's a little strong,
isn't it?

538
00:22:17,651 --> 00:22:21,763
What the fuck?
Focus. Focus.

539
00:22:21,763 --> 00:22:22,483
And...

540
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:26,476
Okay, all right.
I-I'm an agent.

541
00:22:26,476 --> 00:22:29,187
- Yes.
- I'm an agent, and, um,

542
00:22:29,187 --> 00:22:32,148
basically, I gotta-I gotta
go get Agent King.

543
00:22:32,148 --> 00:22:35,068
I gotta seduce...
I gotta seduce Agent King

544
00:22:35,068 --> 00:22:36,611
in the basement of the Louvre.

545
00:22:36,611 --> 00:22:38,404
And just a question,
is this, like,

546
00:22:38,404 --> 00:22:41,365
some James Bond fan fiction?
- And, action.

547
00:22:49,582 --> 00:22:52,251
Agent King?

548
00:22:52,251 --> 00:22:55,463
- Who wants to know?
- Agent Hart.

549
00:22:55,463 --> 00:22:57,882
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

550
00:22:57,882 --> 00:22:59,801
Not so fast.

551
00:22:59,801 --> 00:23:02,345
Look, you're in great danger,

552
00:23:02,345 --> 00:23:05,640
and the only cure for it
is to come with me to my bed.

553
00:23:11,062 --> 00:23:13,022
Seduce her,
god damn it!

554
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:18,236
Seduce her.
Lure her into the car.

555
00:23:25,535 --> 00:23:27,912
In the car.

556
00:23:27,912 --> 00:23:30,081
In my car.

557
00:23:30,081 --> 00:23:33,167
Fucking creep.

558
00:23:41,884 --> 00:23:43,612
- What the fuck was that?
- Beautiful, beautiful.

559
00:23:43,612 --> 00:23:45,012
Keep going.
Keep going.

560
00:23:45,012 --> 00:23:47,098
What the fuck you mean,
"Keep going"?

561
00:23:47,098 --> 00:23:48,432
What the fuck, man?

562
00:23:48,432 --> 00:23:49,910
Do you have a problem,
Agent Hart?

563
00:23:49,910 --> 00:23:50,953
Yeah, I got a problem,
motherfucker!

564
00:23:50,953 --> 00:23:52,270
What is it?

565
00:23:52,270 --> 00:23:53,789
She's Bruce Lee,
and I'm some weird creeper.

566
00:23:53,789 --> 00:23:55,898
Oh, it's too challenging
for you to seduce her.

567
00:23:55,898 --> 00:23:57,775
Is that it?
- Uh, yes, it is.

568
00:23:57,775 --> 00:23:59,902
When you got me, looking...

569
00:24:03,239 --> 00:24:05,700
I see what you're doing.

570
00:24:05,700 --> 00:24:07,618
You're trying to get me
all riled up.

571
00:24:07,618 --> 00:24:08,702
It's not gonna work.

572
00:24:08,702 --> 00:24:10,371
I'm not falling for
your little trap

573
00:24:10,371 --> 00:24:11,372
and I'm not going
back over here

574
00:24:11,372 --> 00:24:13,291
to fight this
fucking jujitsu master

575
00:24:13,291 --> 00:24:14,584
with sexy talk.

576
00:24:14,584 --> 00:24:16,752
Oh, you want
a change of motivation?

577
00:24:16,752 --> 00:24:17,879
- Yeah, I do.
- Okay.

578
00:24:17,879 --> 00:24:19,672
This is your new motivation.

579
00:24:19,672 --> 00:24:22,341
She's a Russian mole
pretending to be an FBI agent.

580
00:24:22,341 --> 00:24:26,137
You eliminate her with this.

581
00:24:26,137 --> 00:24:29,473
- It's a prop knife, right?
- Retractable.

582
00:24:29,473 --> 00:24:32,143
Now go in there and
show her who's boss.

583
00:24:32,143 --> 00:24:35,605
Now we're fucking talking.

584
00:24:35,605 --> 00:24:37,857
You said
she's a Russian mole, right?

585
00:24:37,857 --> 00:24:40,776
Okay, I don't like that.
Down goes the mole, huh?

586
00:24:45,948 --> 00:24:48,117
Shit!
Oh, god damn it.

587
00:24:48,117 --> 00:24:50,703
Hey, I'm about to stab you
in the side, okay?

588
00:24:50,703 --> 00:24:54,624
With...
it's a prop knife.

589
00:24:54,624 --> 00:24:55,875
What the?

590
00:24:55,875 --> 00:24:57,919
Oh, you gotta sell it.
Make it look real.

591
00:25:03,633 --> 00:25:05,927
Ah, what the fuck?

592
00:25:05,927 --> 00:25:09,013
Ah!
- Real blood.

593
00:25:09,013 --> 00:25:11,515
- Oh, my God.
- What have you done to her?

594
00:25:11,515 --> 00:25:13,976
What have you done to her?
- I'm so sorry.

595
00:25:13,976 --> 00:25:15,940
I thought-I thought you said
it was retractable.

596
00:25:15,940 --> 00:25:17,688
I said it was practical.

597
00:25:17,688 --> 00:25:19,982
It's a practical knife!
It's a real knife!

598
00:25:19,982 --> 00:25:21,108
- Oh, my God.
- Oh God.

599
00:25:21,108 --> 00:25:22,944
She's passing out now.
- Oh, shit!

600
00:25:22,944 --> 00:25:24,046
I'm gonna have to
stitch her up.

601
00:25:24,046 --> 00:25:25,380
I've got a medical kit
in my office.

602
00:25:25,380 --> 00:25:26,506
- Fine, I will grab it.
- No!

603
00:25:26,506 --> 00:25:28,616
- Ow, ow, ow.
- Go to your room.

604
00:25:28,616 --> 00:25:29,700
You're grounded!
- No.

605
00:25:29,700 --> 00:25:30,618
What are you talking about?
I'll go grab it.

606
00:25:30,618 --> 00:25:31,368
No!

607
00:25:32,912 --> 00:25:35,873
My office is off limits
to students.

608
00:25:42,171 --> 00:25:45,883
I said my office
is off limits.

609
00:25:45,883 --> 00:25:47,677
If you disobey me again,

610
00:25:47,677 --> 00:25:49,804
the next time
I throw that knife

611
00:25:49,804 --> 00:25:51,639
will be through
your fucking skull.

612
00:26:02,858 --> 00:26:03,858
Hey.

613
00:26:05,319 --> 00:26:08,030
I brought you some breakfast
as a peace offering.

614
00:26:08,030 --> 00:26:09,657
The food here
is a little tricky.

615
00:26:09,657 --> 00:26:11,951
It's just a closet
full of beef jerky.

616
00:26:11,951 --> 00:26:13,536
Apparently,
Macho Man Randy Savage

617
00:26:13,536 --> 00:26:16,664
was an alum here and
he left his entire food supply

618
00:26:16,664 --> 00:26:18,958
to Ron in his will, so...

619
00:26:18,958 --> 00:26:21,877
Snap into a Slim Jim?

620
00:26:21,877 --> 00:26:23,629
Care to join me
for breakfast?

621
00:26:23,629 --> 00:26:27,591
Of course.
Jerky for two.

622
00:26:27,591 --> 00:26:29,260
Hmm.

623
00:26:29,260 --> 00:26:33,472
Um, look,
I'm going to apologize.

624
00:26:35,099 --> 00:26:36,684
You know, I didn't mean to...
- Stab me?

625
00:26:36,684 --> 00:26:38,811
Well, I wasn't
gonna use those words.

626
00:26:38,811 --> 00:26:41,314
Look, Ron...
Ron is crazy.

627
00:26:41,314 --> 00:26:43,691
I'm serious.
He's-he's nuts.

628
00:26:43,691 --> 00:26:45,860
Sick in the head crazy.

629
00:26:45,860 --> 00:26:48,029
And I'm convinced that
that motherfucker

630
00:26:48,029 --> 00:26:49,947
killed a dude named Rodrigo.

631
00:26:49,947 --> 00:26:51,532
And the motherfucker
tried to kill me

632
00:26:51,532 --> 00:26:53,284
just for being
around his office.

633
00:26:53,284 --> 00:26:56,370
And as far as your arm goes,
I know you think I'm lying,

634
00:26:56,370 --> 00:26:58,080
I heard retractable.

635
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:00,207
You know, I've dated
guys like you before.

636
00:27:00,207 --> 00:27:02,543
It's always
someone else's fault.

637
00:27:02,543 --> 00:27:04,128
That's not true.

638
00:27:04,128 --> 00:27:06,339
That's not true at all.
When I'm wrong, I...

639
00:27:06,339 --> 00:27:07,816
I shouldn't say that,
'cause I'm never wrong.

640
00:27:07,816 --> 00:27:09,508
If... If I'm wrong,

641
00:27:09,508 --> 00:27:11,802
I have no problem admitting
that I'm wrong.

642
00:27:11,802 --> 00:27:15,806
But in this case, I'm not.
He said "retractable."

643
00:27:15,806 --> 00:27:19,226
Hey, part of me
is glad you stabbed me.

644
00:27:19,226 --> 00:27:21,437
It's a badge of honor.

645
00:27:21,437 --> 00:27:23,898
I heard when Jason Statham
came through here,

646
00:27:23,898 --> 00:27:26,359
he got stabbed
directly in the heart.

647
00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:27,443
Did he survive that?

648
00:27:27,443 --> 00:27:29,612
He shot "Transporter"
like a week later.

649
00:27:29,612 --> 00:27:32,156
What the fuck?
In the heart?

650
00:27:32,156 --> 00:27:33,592
They stabbed him in the heart?
- Yup, right through it.

651
00:27:33,592 --> 00:27:35,159
God damn it.

652
00:27:35,159 --> 00:27:37,495
Maybe I'm just doing
the wrong fucking thing here.

653
00:27:37,495 --> 00:27:42,208
I mean, maybe this just
isn't for me, you know?

654
00:27:42,208 --> 00:27:45,086
So just leave.
Go home.

655
00:27:45,086 --> 00:27:46,962
I'm sure
there's a real hero somewhere

656
00:27:46,962 --> 00:27:50,132
in need of a goofy sidekick.
- Okay, that backfired.

657
00:27:50,132 --> 00:27:51,777
I thought that you would
go the opposite direction

658
00:27:51,777 --> 00:27:54,095
and tell me that,
no, I should stay.

659
00:27:54,095 --> 00:27:56,222
And that this is for me.

660
00:27:56,222 --> 00:27:58,182
That's what I thought.

661
00:27:58,182 --> 00:27:59,576
Well what do you
want me to say?

662
00:27:59,576 --> 00:28:01,936
If you need extra motivation
to be the star

663
00:28:01,936 --> 00:28:06,565
of a Claude Van De Velde movie,
you're in the wrong business.

664
00:28:06,565 --> 00:28:09,902
This is probably my only shot
to be a big action star,

665
00:28:09,902 --> 00:28:12,530
so I'm not gonna blow it.

666
00:28:12,530 --> 00:28:15,116
I'll do anything it takes.

667
00:28:17,952 --> 00:28:20,287
You're right.

668
00:28:20,287 --> 00:28:23,666
You are absolutely right.

669
00:28:23,666 --> 00:28:25,751
I need to stop
all the bitching and moaning.

670
00:28:25,751 --> 00:28:27,920
I need to cowboy the fuck up.

671
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:31,173
There you go.

672
00:28:34,718 --> 00:28:36,303
When I first started
in the business

673
00:28:36,303 --> 00:28:38,013
training action stars,

674
00:28:38,013 --> 00:28:40,516
every stunt scene was practical,

675
00:28:40,516 --> 00:28:43,686
or as Kevin might say,
retractable.

676
00:28:43,686 --> 00:28:45,688
Oh, that's really good.
That's great.

677
00:28:45,688 --> 00:28:46,647
It's not funny.

678
00:28:46,647 --> 00:28:47,916
But the industry
has changed.

679
00:28:47,916 --> 00:28:49,400
You can't even be
an action star

680
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:51,902
without, well,
knowing how to work green.

681
00:28:51,902 --> 00:28:54,572
I'm very familiar
with a green screen.

682
00:28:54,572 --> 00:28:56,157
I mean, I've done about
15 movies

683
00:28:56,157 --> 00:28:57,700
where we've had a green screen.

684
00:28:57,700 --> 00:29:00,369
In which of those 15 movies
were you the leading man?

685
00:29:00,369 --> 00:29:02,371
Any idiot can jump
on a green screen

686
00:29:02,371 --> 00:29:05,249
and pretend to be eaten by
a CG dragon.

687
00:29:05,249 --> 00:29:07,168
Hell, even little Kevin
can do that.

688
00:29:07,168 --> 00:29:08,544
<i>Oh, hell no!</i>

689
00:29:08,544 --> 00:29:11,297
Okay, who's finding the time
to dress him like me?

690
00:29:11,297 --> 00:29:12,548
It's really...

691
00:29:12,548 --> 00:29:14,467
Okay, question,
what does a leading woman,

692
00:29:14,467 --> 00:29:17,344
or leading man,
get to do onscreen

693
00:29:17,344 --> 00:29:19,638
that sidekicks don't?
- Win fights.

694
00:29:19,638 --> 00:29:22,850
- Murder bad guys.
- Make love.

695
00:29:22,850 --> 00:29:25,478
Today's lesson
is in love making.

696
00:29:25,478 --> 00:29:28,063
Yes!
On the green screen.

697
00:29:28,063 --> 00:29:29,690
Are we doing it
on the green screen?

698
00:29:29,690 --> 00:29:31,233
- Bingo.
- Nice.

699
00:29:31,233 --> 00:29:33,986
Adding effects to the bed,
to the walls, cracking 'em.

700
00:29:33,986 --> 00:29:35,362
Okay, I'm gonna be candid,

701
00:29:35,362 --> 00:29:37,990
I don't want to do
a sex scene with him.

702
00:29:37,990 --> 00:29:39,241
That's fine,

703
00:29:39,241 --> 00:29:40,159
'cause I don't wanna do
a sex scene with her.

704
00:29:40,159 --> 00:29:41,159
Ugh.

705
00:29:46,332 --> 00:29:47,666
What's so funny?

706
00:29:47,666 --> 00:29:50,252
Okay, well, look at you,
and then look at her.

707
00:29:50,252 --> 00:29:53,506
And look at you, then her.
Then you, then her.

708
00:29:53,506 --> 00:29:54,757
Okay, I don't get the joke.

709
00:29:54,757 --> 00:29:56,091
What is it?
What am I missing?

710
00:29:56,091 --> 00:29:57,527
All right,
let me put it another way.

711
00:29:57,527 --> 00:30:01,096
Uh, look at you,
and then look at her.

712
00:30:01,096 --> 00:30:02,598
Then look at you,
and then her.

713
00:30:02,598 --> 00:30:05,684
Can we just get this shit
over with, please?

714
00:30:05,684 --> 00:30:08,145
Okay, let's discuss
motivation.

715
00:30:08,145 --> 00:30:11,565
All right, now, after
almost killing each other,

716
00:30:11,565 --> 00:30:13,609
Agent Hart and Agent King

717
00:30:13,609 --> 00:30:15,653
discover that they're
on the same team.

718
00:30:15,653 --> 00:30:18,697
After defusing a bomb
at the top of a skyscraper

719
00:30:18,697 --> 00:30:21,242
in-in the middle of
an earthquake,

720
00:30:21,242 --> 00:30:23,786
you discover
this overwhelming passion

721
00:30:23,786 --> 00:30:25,829
for each other.

722
00:30:26,664 --> 00:30:27,790
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

723
00:30:27,790 --> 00:30:29,113
We're at the top
of a skyscraper

724
00:30:29,113 --> 00:30:30,000
in the middle
of an earthquake?

725
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,169
Yes! Yes! Goddamn it!

726
00:30:32,169 --> 00:30:34,413
You are the dumbest actor
that I have ever worked with.

727
00:30:34,413 --> 00:30:36,215
Go! Action!

728
00:30:37,967 --> 00:30:39,718
Red wire or blue wire?

729
00:30:39,718 --> 00:30:41,053
It's gotta be the red.

730
00:30:41,053 --> 00:30:42,137
Are you sure?

731
00:30:42,137 --> 00:30:44,682
Agent Hart, are you sure?
- I don't know.

732
00:31:10,499 --> 00:31:12,418
Earthquake! Earthquake!

733
00:31:12,418 --> 00:31:13,794
The building's falling apart!

734
00:31:13,794 --> 00:31:16,046
- Oh, uh, Okay, um...
- Okay.

735
00:31:16,046 --> 00:31:18,007
Good... great.

736
00:31:18,007 --> 00:31:19,550
Oh! Oh! Oh!

737
00:31:19,550 --> 00:31:22,011
Oh! Shit!
Hold on.

738
00:31:22,011 --> 00:31:23,929
Wait... Oh.

739
00:31:23,929 --> 00:31:25,448
Where you at?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

740
00:31:25,448 --> 00:31:26,473
- Kevin.
- Hold on, wait!

741
00:31:26,473 --> 00:31:28,058
Give me a second.
Shit!

742
00:31:28,058 --> 00:31:29,393
- Okay.
- Okay.

743
00:31:29,393 --> 00:31:30,996
All right, come on.
It's an earthquake.

744
00:31:30,996 --> 00:31:32,062
It's an earthquake, fuck.

745
00:31:32,062 --> 00:31:33,731
- Yeah.
- Go.

746
00:31:33,731 --> 00:31:36,609
Agent Hart, I can't believe
we just diffused that bomb.

747
00:31:36,609 --> 00:31:38,902
We just saved thousands
of lives, maybe millions.

748
00:31:38,902 --> 00:31:42,573
This earthquake's gotta be
about a 7.5 magnitude.

749
00:31:42,573 --> 00:31:46,201
This could be our last time
being together before we die.

750
00:31:46,201 --> 00:31:49,288
Now kiss her neck softly
and start fucking.

751
00:31:49,288 --> 00:31:51,081
What? Wait.

752
00:31:51,081 --> 00:31:52,833
Kiss-kiss her neck
and then start fucking?

753
00:31:52,833 --> 00:31:55,294
Kiss her neck softly
and start fucking!

754
00:31:55,294 --> 00:31:57,755
Oh, okay.

755
00:31:57,755 --> 00:31:59,190
I'm just gonna do it,
'cause that's what he's...

756
00:31:59,190 --> 00:32:00,466
Yeah, no, it's fine.

757
00:32:00,466 --> 00:32:02,343
Yeah, put your...
Give me that.

758
00:32:02,343 --> 00:32:04,553
Be sexy!
Do something!

759
00:32:04,553 --> 00:32:06,114
- Grab my leg.
- Yeah, give me this one.

760
00:32:06,114 --> 00:32:08,015
Have you never
had sex before?

761
00:32:08,015 --> 00:32:09,350
Do it!

762
00:32:09,350 --> 00:32:10,952
- That's not...
- We need to be upright.

763
00:32:10,952 --> 00:32:12,037
One second, that's it.
- Give me that.

764
00:32:12,037 --> 00:32:13,729
Go! Go!

765
00:32:13,729 --> 00:32:16,857
Agent Hart, no.
We shouldn't do this.

766
00:32:16,857 --> 00:32:19,860
It's against Bureau
protocol.

767
00:32:19,860 --> 00:32:22,321
Well, protocol was
meant to be broken.

768
00:32:25,449 --> 00:32:27,868
Ah, whoa!
Ah, help!

769
00:32:27,868 --> 00:32:29,787
Help! Don't drop me!
Don't drop me!

770
00:32:29,787 --> 00:32:31,288
Please don't let go!
Don't let go!

771
00:32:31,288 --> 00:32:32,539
I won't, I've got you.

772
00:32:32,539 --> 00:32:34,875
- Don't let go!
- I've got you, I promise.

773
00:32:34,875 --> 00:32:36,960
Can you push in
a little closer?

774
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:38,796
Help me! Help me!

775
00:32:38,796 --> 00:32:40,297
I'm too young to die.

776
00:32:40,297 --> 00:32:42,383
Any closer, they'll
see the cameras.

777
00:32:42,383 --> 00:32:44,301
Okay, good, hold there.

778
00:32:44,301 --> 00:32:46,095
- I got you.
- Perfect.

779
00:32:46,095 --> 00:32:47,554
- Help!
- Kevin,

780
00:32:47,554 --> 00:32:49,431
you're like one foot
off the ground.

781
00:32:49,431 --> 00:32:51,684
You cannot teach
acting like that.

782
00:32:51,684 --> 00:32:53,244
I'm just gonna
let you down, okay?

783
00:32:53,244 --> 00:32:53,994
Ah!

784
00:32:59,149 --> 00:33:01,360
Okay, lights out,
twenty minutes.

785
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:03,362
No funny business.

786
00:33:03,362 --> 00:33:05,239
And no fucking!

787
00:33:13,455 --> 00:33:14,790
Now do you believe me?

788
00:33:14,790 --> 00:33:17,251
He's a fucking psychopath.

789
00:33:17,251 --> 00:33:19,545
Okay, it does seem like
an odd coincidence

790
00:33:19,545 --> 00:33:21,213
your wires just snapped.

791
00:33:21,213 --> 00:33:23,257
Coincidence?

792
00:33:23,257 --> 00:33:26,510
Those lines are strong enough
to hold a goddamn elephant.

793
00:33:26,510 --> 00:33:28,721
Where's your phone at?
- He confiscated it.

794
00:33:44,778 --> 00:33:47,781
Kevin, he said lights out.
We can't leave.

795
00:33:47,781 --> 00:33:49,366
He's not
my camp counselor.

796
00:33:49,366 --> 00:33:50,576
You know what I'm gonna do?

797
00:33:50,576 --> 00:33:52,995
I'm about to go, I'm about
to get my phone back,

798
00:33:52,995 --> 00:33:54,431
and I'mma see what other
weird shit he hide

799
00:33:54,431 --> 00:33:57,583
in this office that
he don't want me to see.

800
00:33:57,583 --> 00:33:59,877
Kevin, don't.

801
00:34:24,276 --> 00:34:25,611
- Claude.
- Ronny, baby!

802
00:34:25,611 --> 00:34:28,155
Garçon.

803
00:34:28,155 --> 00:34:31,283
- Have a seat.
- Ah.

804
00:34:31,283 --> 00:34:34,912
Uh, pull up
scene 12, please.

805
00:34:34,912 --> 00:34:36,538
Have a seat.

806
00:34:38,332 --> 00:34:41,001
- This is a bad idea.
- This is a good idea.

807
00:34:41,001 --> 00:34:43,295
Wilcox won't murder me
in front of you.

808
00:34:43,295 --> 00:34:45,255
Come on, there's his office.
Come on.

809
00:34:47,216 --> 00:34:49,426
Shit!

810
00:34:49,426 --> 00:34:51,470
Do you have a bobby pin?

811
00:34:51,470 --> 00:34:52,763
Yeah, yeah,

812
00:34:52,763 --> 00:34:54,657
it's in the bun on the back
of my fucking head.

813
00:34:54,657 --> 00:34:56,517
Okay, don't be an asshole.

814
00:34:56,517 --> 00:34:58,602
I'll find a paperclip.
Excuse me.

815
00:35:00,604 --> 00:35:02,189
Wait, you know how
to pick a lock?

816
00:35:02,189 --> 00:35:04,483
South side of Chicago,
born and raised.

817
00:35:04,483 --> 00:35:05,752
It's not North Philadelphia,

818
00:35:05,752 --> 00:35:07,903
but I'm not gonna
hold it against you.

819
00:35:07,903 --> 00:35:09,947
- Got it.
- Hey.

820
00:35:15,786 --> 00:35:19,498
Oh, God!
Oh, fuck, I can't see shit.

821
00:35:19,498 --> 00:35:21,375
Where you at?

822
00:35:21,375 --> 00:35:23,210
<i>Help! Help me!</i>

823
00:35:23,210 --> 00:35:25,379
<i>- I've got you, little Kev.
- Oh, hell no!</i>

824
00:35:25,379 --> 00:35:27,381
<i>Help!</i>

825
00:35:27,381 --> 00:35:29,508
It's fucking hot!

826
00:35:29,508 --> 00:35:30,588
Oh, whoa.

827
00:35:32,636 --> 00:35:35,764
You damn right.
It is authentic.

828
00:35:35,764 --> 00:35:37,200
He doesn't even know
he's being filmed.

829
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:38,642
Exactly.

830
00:35:38,642 --> 00:35:42,062
I've been chasing for
this cinema verite style

831
00:35:42,062 --> 00:35:45,816
of realistic hard action
filmmaking for years.

832
00:35:45,816 --> 00:35:48,652
It is my white whale,
my unicorn.

833
00:35:48,652 --> 00:35:51,321
All I needed was an actor
who was fragile,

834
00:35:51,321 --> 00:35:54,741
vulnerable, afraid
of being forgotten.

835
00:35:57,244 --> 00:35:59,746
Afraid of being forgotten.

836
00:35:59,746 --> 00:36:03,250
Thank you, Kevin.
You're a gift.

837
00:36:03,250 --> 00:36:05,627
Thank you, thank you.

838
00:36:12,009 --> 00:36:14,344
Any questions, uh,
for tomorrow's scenes?

839
00:36:14,344 --> 00:36:16,471
Oh, no.

840
00:36:20,350 --> 00:36:22,185
I should get back
to the set.

841
00:36:22,185 --> 00:36:23,937
Bonsoir.
- Bonsoir.

842
00:36:23,937 --> 00:36:25,564
Merci.

843
00:36:28,942 --> 00:36:30,527
Again.

844
00:36:33,739 --> 00:36:36,617
Hey, can I...
can I ask you a question?

845
00:36:36,617 --> 00:36:39,036
- Yeah.
- So you...

846
00:36:39,036 --> 00:36:41,038
you remember earlier today
when we were shooting

847
00:36:41,038 --> 00:36:42,664
the scene on green screen,

848
00:36:42,664 --> 00:36:46,084
like-like right before
the wire snapped,

849
00:36:46,084 --> 00:36:47,586
you kind of seemed
like you was...

850
00:36:47,586 --> 00:36:49,755
like you were really
into it.

851
00:36:49,755 --> 00:36:51,840
It's called acting.

852
00:36:53,050 --> 00:36:55,218
You acted like you
wanted to kiss me.

853
00:36:55,218 --> 00:36:56,218
Yes.

854
00:36:57,304 --> 00:36:59,806
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

855
00:36:59,806 --> 00:37:01,391
Yeah.

856
00:37:09,650 --> 00:37:13,153
Come on, let's go.

857
00:37:13,153 --> 00:37:16,406
The fuck.
Stealing my shit.

858
00:37:16,406 --> 00:37:18,283
Hollywood bitch.

859
00:37:33,757 --> 00:37:35,217
You got anything?

860
00:37:35,217 --> 00:37:37,010
Nope, you?

861
00:37:37,010 --> 00:37:39,721
Got a drawer
full of old head shots.

862
00:37:41,014 --> 00:37:41,764
Oh.

863
00:37:42,641 --> 00:37:44,035
"Coach Ron, you are
the bright light

864
00:37:44,035 --> 00:37:45,852
"in the darkest parts
of my soul."

865
00:37:45,852 --> 00:37:48,188
What the fuck
does that mean?

866
00:37:48,188 --> 00:37:49,332
We should get
out of here soon.

867
00:37:49,332 --> 00:37:50,607
No, we shouldn't.

868
00:37:50,607 --> 00:37:51,793
I know there's
some stuff in here

869
00:37:51,793 --> 00:37:52,734
that he don't
want us to see.

870
00:37:52,734 --> 00:37:55,153
you just gotta
look for it.

871
00:37:55,153 --> 00:37:56,154
He probably got
one of them, like,

872
00:37:56,154 --> 00:37:58,907
secret compartments
somewhere.

873
00:37:58,907 --> 00:38:00,575
Got it!

874
00:38:00,575 --> 00:38:02,244
Oh, bingo.

875
00:38:02,244 --> 00:38:04,371
Holy shit.

876
00:38:08,375 --> 00:38:10,585
Here, I got another lock
for you to pick.

877
00:38:10,585 --> 00:38:12,021
- What do you think's in there?
- Don't know.

878
00:38:12,021 --> 00:38:13,797
Some shit he don't want
nobody to find.

879
00:38:15,465 --> 00:38:16,967
Shit!

880
00:38:27,185 --> 00:38:28,854
Get your ass.

881
00:38:53,295 --> 00:38:57,090
Oh, isn't
this interesting?

882
00:38:57,090 --> 00:39:00,802
Well, I know that you're both
pretending to be asleep,

883
00:39:00,802 --> 00:39:02,471
and that's fine.

884
00:39:02,471 --> 00:39:04,848
It's probably the best acting
that either of you

885
00:39:04,848 --> 00:39:07,017
will ever do
in your entire lives.

886
00:39:07,017 --> 00:39:09,811
Especially you, Agent Hart.

887
00:39:09,811 --> 00:39:12,647
But if I find out
that either of you

888
00:39:12,647 --> 00:39:15,275
left this bunk
without my permission,

889
00:39:15,275 --> 00:39:16,860
you'll regret the day
you ever stepped

890
00:39:16,860 --> 00:39:19,404
into Ron Wilcox
Action Star School.

891
00:39:28,830 --> 00:39:31,500
If you weren't fake sleeping,
you would have woken up.

892
00:39:54,189 --> 00:39:56,066
Holy shit,
that was too close.

893
00:39:56,066 --> 00:39:57,818
You're telling me.

894
00:40:18,046 --> 00:40:19,673
Kevin, come on,
open it later.

895
00:40:19,673 --> 00:40:21,275
We're supposed to be
at the sound stage.

896
00:40:21,275 --> 00:40:22,884
I'm almost there.
Wait a second.

897
00:40:26,763 --> 00:40:28,557
Shit.

898
00:40:28,557 --> 00:40:30,350
I got it!
I got it. I got it.

899
00:40:32,644 --> 00:40:34,229
It's a necklace.

900
00:40:34,229 --> 00:40:35,981
It's got RBG.

901
00:40:35,981 --> 00:40:39,192
Oh, "R" is for Rodrigo,
that guy that he murdered.

902
00:40:39,192 --> 00:40:40,986
Jesus, Kevin,
give it a rest.

903
00:40:40,986 --> 00:40:42,505
You gotta sneak that shit
back into his office

904
00:40:42,505 --> 00:40:44,156
before he figures out
you stole it.

905
00:40:44,156 --> 00:40:45,991
Rise and shine,
let's go.

906
00:40:45,991 --> 00:40:48,326
Come on, let's go!
- Shit.

907
00:40:48,326 --> 00:40:50,162
Put this on your side.

908
00:40:59,713 --> 00:41:01,423
All right, class.

909
00:41:01,423 --> 00:41:04,009
It's a fun day today.
It's a big day.

910
00:41:04,009 --> 00:41:06,970
Behind that door, I got
a very big surprise for you.

911
00:41:06,970 --> 00:41:08,573
We'd see daylight
for the first time?

912
00:41:08,573 --> 00:41:10,473
Nope.
Any other guesses?

913
00:41:10,473 --> 00:41:11,826
You gonna open the door up
and a panther

914
00:41:11,826 --> 00:41:13,119
gonna come through
and maul us to death?

915
00:41:13,119 --> 00:41:14,703
Getting warmer.
You're getting warmer.

916
00:41:14,703 --> 00:41:16,021
Why am I getting warmer?

917
00:41:16,021 --> 00:41:18,024
Ooh, a source of protein
other than beef jerky?

918
00:41:18,024 --> 00:41:19,524
That would be great.
- Watch this.

919
00:41:19,524 --> 00:41:21,528
- Unbelievable. Please.
- Some fruit? A smoothie?

920
00:41:23,153 --> 00:41:25,447
- Josh Hartnett!
- Hey, hey, hey, buddy!

921
00:41:25,447 --> 00:41:26,656
Ooh, ooh look out,
look out!

922
00:41:26,656 --> 00:41:28,116
Ooh.

923
00:41:28,116 --> 00:41:30,535
Get off me.

924
00:41:30,535 --> 00:41:32,454
My favorite alumni.

925
00:41:32,454 --> 00:41:35,332
Class third week, April 1999.
- Oh, come on, that's...

926
00:41:35,332 --> 00:41:37,417
- Come on!
- Oh my God.

927
00:41:37,417 --> 00:41:39,961
Is it possible that
you're too beautiful?

928
00:41:41,588 --> 00:41:43,465
Um, yeah. You kiss...

929
00:41:43,465 --> 00:41:46,092
it kissed my, um...
you smile a lot.

930
00:41:46,092 --> 00:41:47,636
What the fuck
did you just say?

931
00:41:47,636 --> 00:41:48,720
- I...
- Kev,

932
00:41:48,720 --> 00:41:49,864
I'm so glad
you're here, man.

933
00:41:49,864 --> 00:41:51,389
This is gonna change
your life.

934
00:41:51,389 --> 00:41:52,807
I mean, when Ron finished
with me,

935
00:41:52,807 --> 00:41:54,410
I shot "Pearl Harbor",
"Black Hawk Down",

936
00:41:54,410 --> 00:41:55,685
"Hollywood Homicide".

937
00:41:55,685 --> 00:41:57,371
You should have probably
left the last one out.

938
00:41:57,371 --> 00:41:58,664
When I first came here,
I was nothing.

939
00:41:58,664 --> 00:42:00,565
I was, like, 100 pounds
soaking wet.

940
00:42:00,565 --> 00:42:03,235
By the time I was out of here,
I felt invincible.

941
00:42:03,235 --> 00:42:05,987
I felt like Academy Award
winner Matt Damon or some shit.

942
00:42:05,987 --> 00:42:07,739
You're too much.

943
00:42:07,739 --> 00:42:08,949
He's too much.

944
00:42:08,949 --> 00:42:11,409
Why don't you guys catch up,
and, Agent King?

945
00:42:11,409 --> 00:42:13,328
- Yes?
- Let's talk motivation.

946
00:42:13,328 --> 00:42:15,747
- Bye.
- Nice to meet you.

947
00:42:17,540 --> 00:42:20,377
Kev, how's it
going so far, man?

948
00:42:20,377 --> 00:42:22,128
It is not going good.

949
00:42:22,128 --> 00:42:24,339
This place is like a prison.
Do you hear me?

950
00:42:24,339 --> 00:42:26,299
And I think Coach Ron
is trying to kill me.

951
00:42:26,299 --> 00:42:28,444
Well, that's just his way.
Look at him, he's a teddy bear.

952
00:42:28,444 --> 00:42:29,970
He ain't no teddy bear!

953
00:42:29,970 --> 00:42:31,805
He's the complete opposite
of a teddy bear.

954
00:42:31,805 --> 00:42:33,431
And I believe he
murdered somebody.

955
00:42:33,431 --> 00:42:35,600
I think he murdered
a Colombian drug lord.

956
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:37,060
I think he did it.

957
00:42:37,060 --> 00:42:38,603
I got a guy named
Rodrigo was here,

958
00:42:38,603 --> 00:42:40,968
and I think he murdered...
- Oh God, you crack me up, Kev.

959
00:42:43,483 --> 00:42:45,568
Oh, you're serious?
- Yes, I'm serious.

960
00:42:45,568 --> 00:42:47,112
I went snooping around
in his office,

961
00:42:47,112 --> 00:42:49,197
and I think I found
a keepsake from the murder.

962
00:42:49,197 --> 00:42:51,032
It was a necklace,
it's got "RBG".

963
00:42:51,032 --> 00:42:53,243
Ron murdered someone
and kept a necklace?

964
00:42:53,243 --> 00:42:55,120
Like Dexter?

965
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:56,705
- Josh, listen to me.
- Yes?

966
00:42:56,705 --> 00:42:58,623
- We need to call the cops.
- Okay.

967
00:42:58,623 --> 00:43:00,309
We need the people from
out there to come in here.

968
00:43:00,309 --> 00:43:01,394
- Okay.
- I'm taking about the Feds,

969
00:43:01,394 --> 00:43:03,503
the DA...
- What are you whispering about?

970
00:43:03,503 --> 00:43:04,981
Nothing.
We're talking about workouts.

971
00:43:04,981 --> 00:43:06,399
We're talking
my workout, his workout.

972
00:43:06,399 --> 00:43:07,799
It's nothing much.

973
00:43:07,799 --> 00:43:09,426
How's my goddaughter?

974
00:43:09,426 --> 00:43:11,344
Oh, man, she is
growing like a weed.

975
00:43:11,344 --> 00:43:12,595
Oh, yeah?
Let me see that.

976
00:43:12,595 --> 00:43:13,864
- Goddaughter?
- Let me see that.

977
00:43:13,864 --> 00:43:15,682
Whoa-ho! Oh!
- Look at her.

978
00:43:15,682 --> 00:43:17,118
She misses her
Uncle Ronnie, though.

979
00:43:17,118 --> 00:43:19,102
Well, you tell her
that her Uncle Ronnie

980
00:43:19,102 --> 00:43:20,603
misses that little
pumpkinhead, too.

981
00:43:20,603 --> 00:43:21,603
Hey.

982
00:43:23,356 --> 00:43:26,109
Hey, why the sad face?
Are you okay?

983
00:43:26,109 --> 00:43:27,402
I'm fine, I'm fine.

984
00:43:29,404 --> 00:43:31,698
I can't find
my special necklace.

985
00:43:31,698 --> 00:43:34,159
The one that I had
custom made with RBG.

986
00:43:34,159 --> 00:43:35,994
Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

987
00:43:35,994 --> 00:43:37,329
That's okay, it's okay.

988
00:43:37,329 --> 00:43:38,681
Yeah, she's my favorite
Supreme Court justice.

989
00:43:38,681 --> 00:43:41,416
I mean, I love
her dissenting opinions.

990
00:43:41,416 --> 00:43:43,251
Let me tell you something,
if I find out

991
00:43:43,251 --> 00:43:45,503
that someone stole it,
I'll kill 'em.

992
00:43:45,503 --> 00:43:47,213
I'll kill 'em!
- Hey!

993
00:43:47,213 --> 00:43:49,466
You have to think
positive thoughts.

994
00:43:49,466 --> 00:43:52,719
We're gonna find it.
It's gonna turn up soon.

995
00:43:52,719 --> 00:43:55,638
I promise you,
it's gonna turn up soon.

996
00:43:57,891 --> 00:44:00,477
Today we're doing
firearms stunts.

997
00:44:00,477 --> 00:44:02,812
We've got Officer Hartnett,
who is a corrupt cop

998
00:44:02,812 --> 00:44:04,314
who's gone rogue,

999
00:44:04,314 --> 00:44:07,150
we've got Agent King
and Agent Hart.

1000
00:44:07,150 --> 00:44:09,861
You finally found him
in this chop shop,

1001
00:44:09,861 --> 00:44:11,905
and this is where the shootout
will take place.

1002
00:44:11,905 --> 00:44:13,573
Now, here is your gun.

1003
00:44:13,573 --> 00:44:14,741
Nice.

1004
00:44:14,741 --> 00:44:17,160
Don't you ever accept
a gun like that.

1005
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:18,370
It's always from the back.

1006
00:44:18,370 --> 00:44:19,746
You passed it
to me frontwards.

1007
00:44:19,746 --> 00:44:21,915
That was a test.
You failed.

1008
00:44:21,915 --> 00:44:25,126
Now, these firearms
are loaded, okay?

1009
00:44:25,126 --> 00:44:28,838
So please, be careful
how you handle them.

1010
00:44:28,838 --> 00:44:30,107
Well, we don't have
to be that careful

1011
00:44:30,107 --> 00:44:31,891
'cause there's-there's
blanks in them, right?

1012
00:44:31,891 --> 00:44:33,093
Not loaded, loaded.
Just...

1013
00:44:33,093 --> 00:44:35,011
They're blanks, correct?

1014
00:44:36,554 --> 00:44:39,057
No, Coach Ron, that's
not gonna do it for me.

1015
00:44:39,057 --> 00:44:42,018
I need a verbal confirmation
that it's blanks in this gun.

1016
00:44:42,018 --> 00:44:43,371
- What do you think?
- Yes or no?

1017
00:44:43,371 --> 00:44:44,646
Are there blanks
in this gun?

1018
00:44:44,646 --> 00:44:46,898
Come on, Kevin.
Get your head in the game, man.

1019
00:44:46,898 --> 00:44:48,793
Josh, my head's in the game.
I'm just trying to be safe.

1020
00:44:48,793 --> 00:44:51,528
And he still didn't
say yes or no.

1021
00:44:51,528 --> 00:44:53,071
Yes.

1022
00:44:53,071 --> 00:44:55,657
- Yes, you heard him.
- Okay, everyone in wardrobe.

1023
00:44:55,657 --> 00:44:57,134
I'll see you in ten,
right back here,

1024
00:44:57,134 --> 00:44:58,284
we start the shootout.

1025
00:44:58,284 --> 00:44:59,953
Let's go, let's go,
let's go.

1026
00:45:03,665 --> 00:45:05,667
Hey, what are you doing?
Get into costume.

1027
00:45:05,667 --> 00:45:07,210
No, not me.
I'm not doing it.

1028
00:45:07,210 --> 00:45:08,503
Kevin, you're
being paranoid.

1029
00:45:08,503 --> 00:45:10,106
We all heard him say
there were blanks.

1030
00:45:10,106 --> 00:45:12,590
My gun has blanks,
I guarantee you that.

1031
00:45:12,590 --> 00:45:15,510
But I bet you Josh, he's got
a fully loaded fuckin' pistol.

1032
00:45:15,510 --> 00:45:17,262
Now, Ron already tried
to kill me once.

1033
00:45:17,262 --> 00:45:19,532
Right now, he's probably willing
to go all the fuckin' way.

1034
00:45:19,532 --> 00:45:20,723
I'm not doing it.

1035
00:45:20,723 --> 00:45:22,493
Trying to make it look like
a goddamn accident.

1036
00:45:22,493 --> 00:45:23,893
That's exactly
what it'll do.

1037
00:45:23,893 --> 00:45:28,106
Kevin Hart accidentally killed
in Ron Wilcox's Action School.

1038
00:45:28,106 --> 00:45:29,983
No, thank you.

1039
00:45:29,983 --> 00:45:31,734
First of all,
Josh would never do that.

1040
00:45:31,734 --> 00:45:34,028
He is sweet and sensitive.

1041
00:45:34,028 --> 00:45:37,240
And he's tender, probably.

1042
00:45:37,240 --> 00:45:39,159
Okay, what the fuck
is over there, huh?

1043
00:45:39,159 --> 00:45:40,785
I bet he's none
of those things.

1044
00:45:40,785 --> 00:45:42,996
He and Ron,
they're like this.

1045
00:45:42,996 --> 00:45:45,707
Fucking godfather to his kids.
He didn't say shit about that.

1046
00:45:45,707 --> 00:45:47,070
And they know
I got the necklace!

1047
00:45:47,070 --> 00:45:48,168
So put it back.

1048
00:45:48,168 --> 00:45:49,731
I can't put it back
'cause too late.

1049
00:45:49,731 --> 00:45:51,254
They know I got
the goddamn necklace.

1050
00:45:51,254 --> 00:45:53,131
You know what? It's not
safe for me here.

1051
00:45:53,131 --> 00:45:54,591
I gotta go.
- Oh,

1052
00:45:54,591 --> 00:45:55,818
so you're just gonna give up
on your lifelong dream

1053
00:45:55,818 --> 00:45:58,178
because you're afraid
of getting shot?

1054
00:45:58,178 --> 00:46:00,472
Fuck that dream!

1055
00:46:00,472 --> 00:46:02,932
And look, I'm leavin'.

1056
00:46:02,932 --> 00:46:06,311
You got a choice.

1057
00:46:06,311 --> 00:46:08,521
Come with me.

1058
00:46:08,521 --> 00:46:10,190
Uh...

1059
00:46:13,234 --> 00:46:14,986
I can't.

1060
00:46:14,986 --> 00:46:16,988
I'm sorry.

1061
00:46:16,988 --> 00:46:18,907
This is my shot.

1062
00:46:18,907 --> 00:46:21,367
I understand.

1063
00:46:21,367 --> 00:46:23,286
It is your shot
and you deserve it.

1064
00:46:28,833 --> 00:46:30,083
Okay.

1065
00:46:31,252 --> 00:46:32,754
Nice.

1066
00:46:42,096 --> 00:46:43,096
One, two, three.

1067
00:46:45,975 --> 00:46:47,101
Yes!

1068
00:46:56,152 --> 00:46:58,530
Ugh. That dick.

1069
00:47:01,407 --> 00:47:04,994
The fuck is my car?

1070
00:47:06,955 --> 00:47:09,123
You gotta be kidding me.

1071
00:47:13,503 --> 00:47:16,548
Oh, motherfucker!

1072
00:47:32,855 --> 00:47:36,734
He killed my car.
He killed my fucking car.

1073
00:47:36,734 --> 00:47:37,454
Kevin!

1074
00:47:38,903 --> 00:47:39,623
Kevin!

1075
00:47:41,322 --> 00:47:43,658
Where are you?

1076
00:47:43,658 --> 00:47:46,869
Come out, come out
wherever you are!

1077
00:47:46,869 --> 00:47:48,580
Shit.

1078
00:48:11,811 --> 00:48:14,981
Goddamn it.

1079
00:48:14,981 --> 00:48:17,025
Motherfuckin' squirrels.

1080
00:48:17,025 --> 00:48:19,235
Shit! Get your ass
outta here.

1081
00:48:19,235 --> 00:48:20,445
Shoo!

1082
00:48:20,445 --> 00:48:22,572
Go squirrel!

1083
00:48:24,032 --> 00:48:25,783
Motherfucker.

1084
00:48:25,783 --> 00:48:27,577
Better get your ass back.

1085
00:48:27,577 --> 00:48:29,287
You hear me?

1086
00:48:29,287 --> 00:48:30,955
I ain't scared of you.

1087
00:48:30,955 --> 00:48:33,249
You better keep it over there
before you get hurt.

1088
00:48:33,249 --> 00:48:34,518
Bring it over here,
you get what you want.

1089
00:48:34,518 --> 00:48:36,377
Shit. Shit!
Oh...

1090
00:48:36,377 --> 00:48:37,670
I see you.

1091
00:48:37,670 --> 00:48:39,964
I ain't takin'
my eye off you.

1092
00:48:39,964 --> 00:48:42,383
I got ya locked in.

1093
00:48:42,383 --> 00:48:44,761
Stay back!

1094
00:48:46,387 --> 00:48:48,348
Stupid woods.

1095
00:48:53,686 --> 00:48:54,436
Oh.

1096
00:48:55,146 --> 00:48:56,606
Thank god.

1097
00:48:56,606 --> 00:48:58,107
Excuse me.

1098
00:48:58,107 --> 00:49:00,193
Excuse me, sir?

1099
00:49:00,193 --> 00:49:01,986
How ya doin', man?

1100
00:49:04,947 --> 00:49:07,700
- You know you're trespassin'.
- Yes.

1101
00:49:07,700 --> 00:49:09,410
I mean, no. No.
I didn't.

1102
00:49:09,410 --> 00:49:10,703
I do now. But I...

1103
00:49:10,703 --> 00:49:14,165
Sign posted
right over there.

1104
00:49:14,165 --> 00:49:16,626
Only got two words on it.

1105
00:49:16,626 --> 00:49:20,546
No and trespassin'.

1106
00:49:20,546 --> 00:49:22,298
Yep.

1107
00:49:22,298 --> 00:49:24,634
I see it now.

1108
00:49:24,634 --> 00:49:27,595
I see it now. I didn't see that
when I... when I came in.

1109
00:49:27,595 --> 00:49:29,889
The way I came in,
my back was to that.

1110
00:49:29,889 --> 00:49:30,890
So, I never caught that.

1111
00:49:30,890 --> 00:49:35,019
You're a city boy, ain't ya?

1112
00:49:35,019 --> 00:49:38,272
Well, uh, I refer to myself
as a city man,

1113
00:49:38,272 --> 00:49:40,775
not a boy.
You can say boy, man,

1114
00:49:40,775 --> 00:49:41,960
whatever you...
what do you prefer?

1115
00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:44,779
Woods ain't safe
for a city boy...

1116
00:49:47,240 --> 00:49:50,326
much less a city man.

1117
00:49:52,787 --> 00:49:54,122
Okay.

1118
00:49:54,122 --> 00:49:56,416
I'm gonna address the
elephant in the woods.

1119
00:49:56,416 --> 00:49:58,811
This whole "Deliverance" thing
that we got goin' on right now...

1120
00:49:58,811 --> 00:50:01,087
which is great, okay?
'Cause it's workin'.

1121
00:50:01,087 --> 00:50:02,398
So, when things are workin',
you give 'em the accolades

1122
00:50:02,398 --> 00:50:03,297
that they deserve.

1123
00:50:03,297 --> 00:50:05,758
I'm-I'm uncomfortable, sir.

1124
00:50:05,758 --> 00:50:07,802
I'm actually scared,
all right?

1125
00:50:07,802 --> 00:50:10,179
So, now that we know that,
let me help this mood

1126
00:50:10,179 --> 00:50:11,365
by just telling you
why I'm here.

1127
00:50:11,365 --> 00:50:13,391
I'm tryin' to use a phone.
You got a phone?

1128
00:50:13,391 --> 00:50:16,561
I wanna use it real quick,
and I'm outta here.

1129
00:50:20,398 --> 00:50:21,649
Two minutes.

1130
00:50:21,649 --> 00:50:23,109
No! I'm not out
of my mind.

1131
00:50:23,109 --> 00:50:25,361
As a matter of fact,
I'm very much in my mind.

1132
00:50:25,361 --> 00:50:27,631
<i>- The dude's tryin' to kill me.
- That's unfortunate.</i>

1133
00:50:27,631 --> 00:50:29,490
What do you mean?
Unfortunate?

1134
00:50:29,490 --> 00:50:32,243
Listen to me, Danny.
He's trying to kill me.

1135
00:50:32,243 --> 00:50:33,512
No, totally.

1136
00:50:33,512 --> 00:50:35,663
Kev, listen.
I've got huge news.

1137
00:50:35,663 --> 00:50:36,914
All right? Ready?

1138
00:50:36,914 --> 00:50:38,833
"Pound Pups 4."

1139
00:50:38,833 --> 00:50:43,463
"Pound Pups 4."
They want you to voice Reggie,

1140
00:50:43,463 --> 00:50:46,132
a quick-witted,
short-tempered goldendoodle

1141
00:50:46,132 --> 00:50:47,800
who craves mischief.

1142
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:49,093
Did they ask
for me directly?

1143
00:50:49,093 --> 00:50:50,386
Yeah. Now, listen.

1144
00:50:50,386 --> 00:50:52,722
The money's not what
you're used to making,

1145
00:50:52,722 --> 00:50:54,640
but this could be the role
that gets you back

1146
00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:58,186
in the good graces
with the comedy gods.

1147
00:50:59,353 --> 00:51:02,398
Hey, I... Uh...

1148
00:51:02,398 --> 00:51:05,485
Hey! I... Hi.

1149
00:51:05,485 --> 00:51:07,695
Hey, I'm Reggie
the goldendoodle

1150
00:51:07,695 --> 00:51:09,822
and I'm ready to
create some mischief!

1151
00:51:09,822 --> 00:51:11,699
See? You're a genius!

1152
00:51:11,699 --> 00:51:13,659
It's amazing.
I'm in the movie right now.

1153
00:51:13,659 --> 00:51:14,911
I'm watchin' the movie!

1154
00:51:16,412 --> 00:51:19,499
<i>Now, normally, we'd,
you know, counter.</i>

1155
00:51:19,499 --> 00:51:21,584
<i>Negotiate a better deal,
blah, blah, blah.</i>

1156
00:51:21,584 --> 00:51:23,377
I think we should
close this one.

1157
00:51:23,377 --> 00:51:24,962
Huh? What do you think?

1158
00:51:24,962 --> 00:51:26,714
<i>No, no, no.
Don't sigh.</i>

1159
00:51:26,714 --> 00:51:28,508
Be happy.
This is good, Kev.

1160
00:51:35,181 --> 00:51:37,892
Oh, goddamn it.
Are you crying?

1161
00:51:37,892 --> 00:51:41,354
How did we get here,
Danny? Hmm?

1162
00:51:41,354 --> 00:51:43,314
How did we get here?

1163
00:51:43,314 --> 00:51:44,774
Just tell me
how we got here.

1164
00:51:44,774 --> 00:51:47,151
<i>Look. Stop beatin'
yourself up.</i>

1165
00:51:47,151 --> 00:51:49,529
Huh? You made a mistake.

1166
00:51:49,529 --> 00:51:50,964
<i>You tried to be
somethin' you're not.</i>

1167
00:51:50,964 --> 00:51:52,281
You're not an action hero.

1168
00:51:52,281 --> 00:51:54,450
You know that now.

1169
00:51:54,450 --> 00:51:55,886
<i>So, is that a yes
on "Pound Pups 4?"</i>

1170
00:51:55,886 --> 00:51:57,203
I...

1171
00:51:57,203 --> 00:51:59,580
Help! Help me!

1172
00:51:59,580 --> 00:52:01,791
<i>- I'm stuck!
- Kevin?</i>

1173
00:52:01,791 --> 00:52:04,627
Kevin, I need
a verbal yes on this.

1174
00:52:04,627 --> 00:52:07,046
Kevin, don't let
this go away, buddy.

1175
00:52:07,046 --> 00:52:09,215
<i>- Help me!
- Kev, goldendoodles.</i>

1176
00:52:09,215 --> 00:52:10,675
You love dogs, Kevin.

1177
00:52:10,675 --> 00:52:11,884
Help!

1178
00:52:11,884 --> 00:52:13,970
<i>- Kevin.
- Help me!</i>

1179
00:52:13,970 --> 00:52:15,721
Help!

1180
00:52:15,721 --> 00:52:17,390
- Hey, you okay?
- No!

1181
00:52:17,390 --> 00:52:20,184
- Fuck.
- Damn truck broke.

1182
00:52:20,184 --> 00:52:22,562
Ugh. Shit!

1183
00:52:22,562 --> 00:52:24,355
It's on my chest.

1184
00:52:24,355 --> 00:52:26,065
I can't breathe.

1185
00:52:26,065 --> 00:52:27,748
I'm gonna call
somebody right now, man.

1186
00:52:27,748 --> 00:52:30,653
Okay? I'm gonna
call someone.

1187
00:52:30,653 --> 00:52:32,238
Hey.

1188
00:52:32,238 --> 00:52:33,656
Hey!

1189
00:52:33,656 --> 00:52:34,736
Oh, sh...

1190
00:52:37,451 --> 00:52:39,120
Okay. Come on.

1191
00:52:39,120 --> 00:52:40,913
You gotta lift this truck.

1192
00:52:40,913 --> 00:52:43,499
You gotta lift this truck!

1193
00:52:43,499 --> 00:52:45,334
Lift the fuckin' truck.

1194
00:52:45,334 --> 00:52:47,295
Come on, Kevin.

1195
00:52:47,295 --> 00:52:48,254
Ready.

1196
00:52:48,254 --> 00:52:50,798
Three, two, one.

1197
00:52:53,509 --> 00:52:57,597
I'm doing it!
I'm doin' it!

1198
00:53:04,437 --> 00:53:05,187
Oh.

1199
00:53:06,647 --> 00:53:07,732
You okay?

1200
00:53:07,732 --> 00:53:10,026
Breathe, man.

1201
00:53:10,026 --> 00:53:11,569
Slow down.

1202
00:53:11,569 --> 00:53:14,113
Take your time.
All right.

1203
00:53:14,113 --> 00:53:15,549
Nice and slow.
Get your breath back.

1204
00:53:15,549 --> 00:53:17,617
Oh, my god.
You just saved my life.

1205
00:53:17,617 --> 00:53:20,328
- No.
- Oh, oh, yeah.

1206
00:53:20,328 --> 00:53:22,330
You're like
a real-life Rambo.

1207
00:53:27,501 --> 00:53:29,128
I guess I kinda am.

1208
00:53:29,128 --> 00:53:30,211
Oh...

1209
00:53:32,673 --> 00:53:35,343
How can I ever
repay you, sir?

1210
00:53:35,343 --> 00:53:38,137
Sir? No, man.

1211
00:53:38,137 --> 00:53:39,931
Wait, you don't
know who I am?

1212
00:53:39,931 --> 00:53:42,767
You don't recognize me from
movies, TV, stand-up comedy?

1213
00:53:42,767 --> 00:53:43,607
Uh, no?

1214
00:53:49,315 --> 00:53:51,943
The name is Hart.

1215
00:53:51,943 --> 00:53:53,736
Agent Hart.

1216
00:53:58,616 --> 00:53:59,885
Hey, you wouldn't happen
to know of a shortcut back

1217
00:53:59,885 --> 00:54:02,161
to Ron Wilcox's Action School,
would you?

1218
00:54:02,161 --> 00:54:03,371
- Wilcox Property.
- Yeah.

1219
00:54:03,371 --> 00:54:05,039
Uh, yes, Agent.

1220
00:54:05,039 --> 00:54:08,417
Uh, you can follow that path,
it'll take you right to it.

1221
00:54:08,417 --> 00:54:09,877
Okay.

1222
00:54:09,877 --> 00:54:11,063
I think I'mma go
and get on that trail

1223
00:54:11,063 --> 00:54:12,505
before the sun goes down.

1224
00:54:12,505 --> 00:54:15,508
Uh, that...
you ain't walkin'.

1225
00:54:23,182 --> 00:54:24,642
Oh, yeah.

1226
00:54:35,403 --> 00:54:37,005
<i>- How was that?
- Phenomenal.</i>

1227
00:54:37,005 --> 00:54:38,447
<i>We got it.</i>

1228
00:54:38,447 --> 00:54:40,908
All right, that's a wrap
on the creepy trailer!

1229
00:54:40,908 --> 00:54:42,493
Well done, everyone.

1230
00:55:00,845 --> 00:55:03,431
Stop!
Goddamn it, stop!

1231
00:55:03,431 --> 00:55:05,016
Motherfuckers.

1232
00:55:08,477 --> 00:55:11,480
Chitty chitty
bang bang, bitch.

1233
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:12,230
No!

1234
00:55:14,066 --> 00:55:14,816
No!

1235
00:55:16,318 --> 00:55:17,568
Fuck!

1236
00:55:20,740 --> 00:55:23,701
Holy shit, Jordan.
You weren't joking.

1237
00:55:23,701 --> 00:55:25,303
He actually thinks we're using
real bullets today.

1238
00:55:25,303 --> 00:55:26,303
Kev.

1239
00:55:27,455 --> 00:55:29,415
- You told him?
- I'm sorry, it was funny.

1240
00:55:29,415 --> 00:55:31,000
It's not fucking funny!

1241
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:33,085
'Cause that man back there
is a lunatic.

1242
00:55:33,085 --> 00:55:35,171
You're a fucking lunatic,
Coach Ron.

1243
00:55:35,171 --> 00:55:37,590
Hey! You know what?

1244
00:55:37,590 --> 00:55:39,759
Maybe I am a lunatic.

1245
00:55:39,759 --> 00:55:41,927
Maybe I oughta
just kill ya!

1246
00:55:41,927 --> 00:55:44,138
Hey, no, Ron.
Hold up.

1247
00:55:44,138 --> 00:55:45,556
Let me kill him.

1248
00:55:45,556 --> 00:55:47,516
- Stop it.
- No. Me! Me! Me!

1249
00:55:48,559 --> 00:55:50,603
Stop it. Stop!

1250
00:55:50,603 --> 00:55:51,896
You know what, assholes?

1251
00:55:51,896 --> 00:55:53,665
Y'all wanna fuckin' play,
then play. Go ahead.

1252
00:55:53,665 --> 00:55:54,689
Unload 'em all.

1253
00:55:54,689 --> 00:55:56,233
All right.
Now we're havin' fun.

1254
00:55:56,233 --> 00:55:59,236
After you.

1255
00:56:03,282 --> 00:56:04,532
Shit!

1256
00:56:05,785 --> 00:56:07,369
Holy shit.

1257
00:56:07,369 --> 00:56:09,622
Maybe there was
a bullet in there.

1258
00:56:09,622 --> 00:56:12,166
You're bad, man!

1259
00:56:12,166 --> 00:56:13,667
Motherfucker!

1260
00:56:13,667 --> 00:56:15,127
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Oh, my god.

1261
00:56:15,127 --> 00:56:17,338
Josh, stop, man.
This is bullshit!

1262
00:56:17,338 --> 00:56:18,714
You're tryin' to
fuckin' kill me!

1263
00:56:18,714 --> 00:56:21,717
What's your problem?
I already apologized to you.

1264
00:56:21,717 --> 00:56:23,969
- When? When did you apologize?
- I thought I did.

1265
00:56:23,969 --> 00:56:26,138
What, you thought
you apologized?

1266
00:56:26,138 --> 00:56:28,891
You know what, maybe I would
apologize to you

1267
00:56:28,891 --> 00:56:30,726
if you gave me back
my necklace.

1268
00:56:30,726 --> 00:56:33,729
There it is. There it is.

1269
00:56:33,729 --> 00:56:35,582
You know I took the necklace
so you tried to fucking kill me.

1270
00:56:35,582 --> 00:56:36,899
- Hey, hey.
- Just admit it, man!

1271
00:56:36,899 --> 00:56:38,210
Kev, Kev, Kev, Kev.
Just chill out.

1272
00:56:38,210 --> 00:56:39,151
We're all just
goofin' around.

1273
00:56:39,151 --> 00:56:40,152
We're just having
a little fun, okay?

1274
00:56:40,152 --> 00:56:41,654
Nobody got hurt.
Nobody got hurt!

1275
00:56:41,654 --> 00:56:43,489
- Oh, it was a goof.
- Yeah, just a goof.

1276
00:56:43,489 --> 00:56:45,133
Well, now that I know that,
I guess I feel better.

1277
00:56:45,133 --> 00:56:46,283
All right.

1278
00:56:46,283 --> 00:56:47,511
Did you know it was
a goof, Jordan?

1279
00:56:47,511 --> 00:56:49,203
You know what,
I don't know. Okay?

1280
00:56:49,203 --> 00:56:50,597
It was... I don't...
I don't know.

1281
00:56:50,597 --> 00:56:51,973
- You don't know.
- I'm staying out of it.

1282
00:56:51,973 --> 00:56:53,016
- Now, you're staying out of it.
- Yeah.

1283
00:56:53,016 --> 00:56:53,958
You know what? Okay.
Everybody's tempers

1284
00:56:53,958 --> 00:56:54,750
are a little hot
right now.

1285
00:56:54,750 --> 00:56:56,061
Maybe we could all
just take a break.

1286
00:56:56,061 --> 00:56:57,229
Maybe take five.
- Let's take a break.

1287
00:56:57,229 --> 00:56:58,271
We drink some water.
We have some beef jerky.

1288
00:56:58,271 --> 00:56:59,495
- All right. Okay.
- We just...

1289
00:56:59,495 --> 00:57:01,066
We reconvene in a bit, okay?
- I'm cool. I'm cool.

1290
00:57:01,066 --> 00:57:02,567
- You're cool?
- I'm cool. Give... Come on.

1291
00:57:02,567 --> 00:57:03,425
- Give him a hug.
- Give me a hug, man.

1292
00:57:03,425 --> 00:57:04,927
Give me a hug.
- I don't... No.

1293
00:57:04,927 --> 00:57:07,263
- Come on. I love you, man.
- That's beautiful, right?

1294
00:57:07,263 --> 00:57:09,098
How do you love me? How?

1295
00:57:09,098 --> 00:57:11,058
How? How does
anybody love anybody?

1296
00:57:12,268 --> 00:57:14,603
- What?
- That's profound.

1297
00:57:14,603 --> 00:57:17,189
It's a good question.

1298
00:57:17,189 --> 00:57:18,691
We're gonna
miss you, big guy.

1299
00:57:18,691 --> 00:57:20,502
- I'll miss you too, baby.
- That was a hoot!

1300
00:57:20,502 --> 00:57:24,697
Now he's lettin' us see
daytime as if we're free.

1301
00:57:24,697 --> 00:57:27,324
I never said you
weren't allowed to leave.

1302
00:57:27,324 --> 00:57:29,702
You got a little bit
of imagination there, buddy.

1303
00:57:29,702 --> 00:57:31,495
Well, I remember
my car used to be here

1304
00:57:31,495 --> 00:57:34,582
and now my car is
at the bottom of a ravine.

1305
00:57:34,582 --> 00:57:36,083
Guess I'm imaginin'
that, too?

1306
00:57:36,083 --> 00:57:38,335
Yeah, well, you know,
this is meth country.

1307
00:57:38,335 --> 00:57:41,839
Probably a couple of tweakers
goin' for a joyride.

1308
00:57:41,839 --> 00:57:42,965
They'll be back.
- Ah...

1309
00:57:42,965 --> 00:57:44,800
Tweakers love to drive,
I keep forgettin.

1310
00:57:44,800 --> 00:57:45,759
I thought we were
gonna be cool, baby.

1311
00:57:45,759 --> 00:57:47,261
- Yeah.
- I am cool. Cool.

1312
00:57:48,554 --> 00:57:49,847
Hey, look.

1313
00:57:49,847 --> 00:57:51,599
I know this has
been tough on you.

1314
00:57:51,599 --> 00:57:53,684
You only got
a couple days left.

1315
00:57:53,684 --> 00:57:56,729
My advice, take as much wisdom
as you can from this guy.

1316
00:57:56,729 --> 00:57:58,373
And just have some fun.
- Yeah. Thank you.

1317
00:57:58,373 --> 00:58:00,691
Appreciate you, Josh.

1318
00:58:00,691 --> 00:58:02,651
See ya, Kev.

1319
00:58:02,651 --> 00:58:05,321
- I love you, man.
- I love you too, man.

1320
00:58:05,321 --> 00:58:06,739
Jordan.

1321
00:58:09,909 --> 00:58:11,035
The fuck was that?

1322
00:58:20,002 --> 00:58:22,671
Agent Hart.
I wanna tell ya somethin'.

1323
00:58:22,671 --> 00:58:24,566
I don't really feel like
dealin' with it, Coach Ron.

1324
00:58:24,566 --> 00:58:26,634
But look.

1325
00:58:26,634 --> 00:58:29,053
I'm sorry about
that live bullet, man.

1326
00:58:29,053 --> 00:58:30,763
I really am.

1327
00:58:30,763 --> 00:58:33,390
It's all I wanted, man.

1328
00:58:33,390 --> 00:58:35,059
All I wanted
was an apology.

1329
00:58:35,059 --> 00:58:37,061
I know.

1330
00:58:37,061 --> 00:58:40,606
You sayin' that to me makes
the world of difference.

1331
00:58:40,606 --> 00:58:43,275
I'm sorry that
I accused you of...

1332
00:58:43,275 --> 00:58:46,528
of tryin' to kill me
and other people.

1333
00:58:46,528 --> 00:58:49,114
Now, give me a hug, man.
Thank you.

1334
00:58:49,114 --> 00:58:51,116
Thank you.
- Uh, guys?

1335
00:58:51,116 --> 00:58:53,452
- Yeah.
- Who is that?

1336
00:59:08,926 --> 00:59:10,928
- Holy shit.
- Oh shit!

1337
00:59:14,640 --> 00:59:15,720
Oh, shit!

1338
00:59:17,893 --> 00:59:19,162
- Get inside!
- What the fuck was that?

1339
00:59:19,162 --> 00:59:21,105
- Come on!
- Fuck this shit!

1340
00:59:21,105 --> 00:59:23,148
- Goddamn it!
- Oh, shit!

1341
00:59:24,650 --> 00:59:28,195
It's a bomb!

1342
00:59:31,240 --> 00:59:33,325
What the hell is happening?

1343
00:59:33,325 --> 00:59:35,119
Hey, Ron, I-I don't
know this scene.

1344
00:59:35,119 --> 00:59:36,120
Where is it
in the script?

1345
00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:38,414
It is not in
the fucking script!

1346
00:59:38,414 --> 00:59:39,849
No, no, no.
Tell me you're kidding.

1347
00:59:39,849 --> 00:59:41,417
Tell me that
was just a stunt.

1348
00:59:41,417 --> 00:59:43,103
That we did not just watch
Josh Hartnett explode!

1349
00:59:43,103 --> 00:59:46,297
It is not a stunt!
It is not in the script!

1350
00:59:46,297 --> 00:59:48,549
Josh Hartnett is dead!

1351
00:59:48,549 --> 00:59:52,136
Oh, god, I've fucked up.
I've fucked up!

1352
00:59:52,136 --> 00:59:53,512
What the fuck is goin' on?

1353
00:59:53,512 --> 00:59:55,222
- I can't.
- What the fuck is goin' on?

1354
00:59:55,222 --> 00:59:56,324
O-okay, Kevin.

1355
00:59:56,324 --> 00:59:57,975
Don't-Don't be mad.
Don't be mad.

1356
00:59:57,975 --> 01:00:00,060
But this whole thing,

1357
01:00:00,060 --> 01:00:01,984
aside from what just
happened to Josh Hartnett,

1358
01:00:01,984 --> 01:00:03,605
has-has been scripted.

1359
01:00:03,605 --> 01:00:04,708
What the fuck
is that accent?

1360
01:00:04,708 --> 01:00:06,108
I was acting,
I'm sorry!

1361
01:00:06,108 --> 01:00:08,319
I'm not from Chicago,
I'm from Essex!

1362
01:00:08,319 --> 01:00:10,904
Claude Van De Velde wanted you
at your most authentic,

1363
01:00:10,904 --> 01:00:13,532
so he hid a bunch
of cameras in here

1364
01:00:13,532 --> 01:00:15,617
to film us playing roles,
doing the stunts,

1365
01:00:15,617 --> 01:00:16,952
all of it.

1366
01:00:16,952 --> 01:00:18,555
But whatever just happened
wasn't part of it.

1367
01:00:18,555 --> 01:00:20,789
Which is fucking insane, Ron!
For fuck's sake!

1368
01:00:20,789 --> 01:00:22,249
For fuck's sake?

1369
01:00:22,249 --> 01:00:23,518
That's what you
wanna say to me?

1370
01:00:23,518 --> 01:00:25,127
For fuck's sake?

1371
01:00:33,802 --> 01:00:36,138
- Talk in your regular voice.
- All right.

1372
01:00:36,138 --> 01:00:38,640
No, I've lost it now.
I'm in my head!

1373
01:00:38,640 --> 01:00:41,393
Who does that?
Who does this to somebody?

1374
01:00:53,447 --> 01:00:55,783
Oh, shit. You okay?

1375
01:00:55,783 --> 01:00:59,620
Oh, god.
I'm such a fucking idiot!

1376
01:00:59,620 --> 01:01:02,498
What was I thinking?
- What the hell was that, man?

1377
01:01:02,498 --> 01:01:03,975
You want to know
what the hell is going on?

1378
01:01:03,975 --> 01:01:05,101
You're goddamn right
I wanna know what's going on.

1379
01:01:05,101 --> 01:01:06,585
I bought some drugs.

1380
01:01:06,585 --> 01:01:09,380
I sold them to the wrong people.
- What?

1381
01:01:09,380 --> 01:01:12,091
And Rodrigo got mad at me
and we got into a fight.

1382
01:01:12,091 --> 01:01:14,301
And then, I accidentally
killed him.

1383
01:01:14,301 --> 01:01:15,928
- You did kill Rodrigo.
- Yes.

1384
01:01:15,928 --> 01:01:17,364
I told you
he fuckin' killed him.

1385
01:01:17,364 --> 01:01:19,765
And that necklace.
That necklace was his necklace.

1386
01:01:19,765 --> 01:01:21,683
I'm a horrible person.

1387
01:01:21,683 --> 01:01:23,852
I'm going straight
to hell.

1388
01:01:23,852 --> 01:01:25,656
You're goddamn right
you're going to hell.

1389
01:01:25,656 --> 01:01:27,064
What are you doing?
- Claude!

1390
01:01:27,064 --> 01:01:29,024
- What are you doin', Ron?
- Claude!

1391
01:01:29,024 --> 01:01:32,069
Claude, if you're watchin',
you call the cops right now.

1392
01:01:32,069 --> 01:01:33,904
You call the fuckin cops.

1393
01:01:33,904 --> 01:01:36,365
Senor Wilcox!

1394
01:01:36,365 --> 01:01:38,033
Oh, shit.

1395
01:01:38,033 --> 01:01:39,785
My nephew Rodrigo's body
washed up

1396
01:01:39,785 --> 01:01:42,287
4 miles due south
of here!

1397
01:01:42,287 --> 01:01:45,124
A coincidence, no?

1398
01:01:45,124 --> 01:01:47,167
I'm gonna give you
2 minutes.

1399
01:01:47,167 --> 01:01:50,212
Exactly dos minutos
to bring your ass out here

1400
01:01:50,212 --> 01:01:51,588
and face me like a man!

1401
01:01:51,588 --> 01:01:54,174
If not, I'm gonna set fire
to the building

1402
01:01:54,174 --> 01:01:55,676
and burn you
like a chicharone.

1403
01:01:58,429 --> 01:02:01,306
- Snap out of it!
- I can't! It's over!

1404
01:02:01,306 --> 01:02:02,975
Listen to me,
motherfucker.

1405
01:02:02,975 --> 01:02:05,644
This is why men shouldn't be
left in charge of anything!

1406
01:02:05,644 --> 01:02:08,397
My career is just now
becoming the thing

1407
01:02:08,397 --> 01:02:11,442
that I have worked
my entire life towards!

1408
01:02:11,442 --> 01:02:13,902
And I'm not dying because
of you, you fucking idiot.

1409
01:02:13,902 --> 01:02:16,071
We're all gonna die!

1410
01:02:18,824 --> 01:02:21,034
- Oh, shit.
- What the fuck, man?

1411
01:02:21,034 --> 01:02:23,120
Everybody gotta
calm the fuck down!

1412
01:02:23,120 --> 01:02:25,330
They're all blanks.

1413
01:02:25,330 --> 01:02:27,332
- Hey. Hey. Hey.
- Don't hit me.

1414
01:02:27,332 --> 01:02:29,543
I'm not gonna hit you.
Look.

1415
01:02:29,543 --> 01:02:32,463
When I first walked through
that door, you told me.

1416
01:02:32,463 --> 01:02:33,755
You said, "Kevin..."

1417
01:02:33,755 --> 01:02:35,966
You said an action hero
is not in here.

1418
01:02:35,966 --> 01:02:38,469
You said it's not in here.
- Uh-huh.

1419
01:02:38,469 --> 01:02:40,179
You said that it's here.

1420
01:02:40,179 --> 01:02:42,055
It's in your heart, man.

1421
01:02:42,055 --> 01:02:44,600
You know, clearly,
you done made some mistakes.

1422
01:02:44,600 --> 01:02:46,518
And one of those mistakes
involved murderin'

1423
01:02:46,518 --> 01:02:48,270
the nephew of some kind
of drug lord.

1424
01:02:48,270 --> 01:02:50,147
Oh, god.

1425
01:02:50,147 --> 01:02:51,815
I killed him!

1426
01:02:51,815 --> 01:02:53,984
I'm not tryin' to
fuckin' upset you, man.

1427
01:02:53,984 --> 01:02:56,195
Listen.
I know that you know.

1428
01:02:56,195 --> 01:02:59,490
I know that you know that
there's an action hero in there.

1429
01:02:59,490 --> 01:03:02,618
And I know that a true
action hero is-is-is tough.

1430
01:03:02,618 --> 01:03:03,869
Is confident.

1431
01:03:03,869 --> 01:03:06,163
And they're unfazed
by the minor details

1432
01:03:06,163 --> 01:03:08,415
that disrupt
your average lay person.

1433
01:03:08,415 --> 01:03:11,835
They will take responsibility
for their shit.

1434
01:03:11,835 --> 01:03:14,213
You go out there
and you tell the truth, man.

1435
01:03:14,213 --> 01:03:16,256
Tell the fucking truth.

1436
01:03:16,256 --> 01:03:18,967
Say Rodrigo's death...
say it was an accident.

1437
01:03:18,967 --> 01:03:21,220
Say it was a fucking accident.
And give 'em...

1438
01:03:21,220 --> 01:03:23,180
Give 'em this.
Here.

1439
01:03:23,180 --> 01:03:24,431
You give 'em this,

1440
01:03:24,431 --> 01:03:26,141
say you wanna make
things right.

1441
01:03:26,141 --> 01:03:27,327
- I wanna make it right.
- That's all you gotta do!

1442
01:03:27,327 --> 01:03:28,936
Say I wanna make it right.
I'm sorry.

1443
01:03:28,936 --> 01:03:30,437
I fucked up.
- I fucked up.

1444
01:03:30,437 --> 01:03:32,521
- I wanna tell the truth.
- I wanna tell the truth.

1445
01:03:32,521 --> 01:03:34,358
- That's it!
- I don't wanna make a mistake.

1446
01:03:34,358 --> 01:03:35,484
Okay, listen.

1447
01:03:35,484 --> 01:03:38,111
All you gotta do
is be the action hero

1448
01:03:38,111 --> 01:03:41,657
that you wanna see
in the world.

1449
01:03:41,657 --> 01:03:43,951
Thank you.

1450
01:03:43,951 --> 01:03:45,869
Thank you.

1451
01:03:45,869 --> 01:03:47,454
Tell the truth, man.

1452
01:03:53,168 --> 01:03:54,586
That was amazing.

1453
01:04:00,259 --> 01:04:01,593
Amigos!

1454
01:04:01,593 --> 01:04:02,719
Amigos.

1455
01:04:02,719 --> 01:04:04,221
Peace. Peace.

1456
01:04:04,221 --> 01:04:05,722
Paz.

1457
01:04:05,722 --> 01:04:07,057
Paz. Paz.

1458
01:04:07,057 --> 01:04:08,058
Paz. Paz. Paz. Uh...

1459
01:04:08,058 --> 01:04:10,686
Shit, it's
actually working.

1460
01:04:10,686 --> 01:04:13,105
Kevin, did you just
save our lives?

1461
01:04:13,105 --> 01:04:15,440
No. I just know
that being the hero

1462
01:04:15,440 --> 01:04:17,985
means ownin' up
to your mistakes.

1463
01:04:17,985 --> 01:04:21,029
I had to learn
the same thing in my life.

1464
01:04:21,029 --> 01:04:23,991
Just glad that Ron can
learn the same thing too.

1465
01:04:28,328 --> 01:04:30,080
Shit!

1466
01:04:30,080 --> 01:04:31,582
What the fuck!

1467
01:04:48,473 --> 01:04:50,017
Is he dead?

1468
01:04:50,017 --> 01:04:52,144
I mean, he took a lot
of bullets. I think so.

1469
01:04:52,144 --> 01:04:53,437
We gotta check.

1470
01:04:53,437 --> 01:04:55,160
We gotta check to see
if he's still alive.

1471
01:04:58,525 --> 01:04:59,359
He's dead.
- Yeah.

1472
01:04:59,359 --> 01:05:00,319
- He's dead.
- Yeah.

1473
01:05:00,319 --> 01:05:03,071
- He's fuckin' dead.
- Okay. Okay.

1474
01:05:03,071 --> 01:05:05,699
Maybe if we just stay quiet,
they'll leave.

1475
01:05:05,699 --> 01:05:07,743
I like that plan.
Yeah. Yeah.

1476
01:05:07,743 --> 01:05:08,952
Juan. Ortiz.
Go inside.

1477
01:05:08,952 --> 01:05:10,495
If there's any witnesses,
kill them.

1478
01:05:10,495 --> 01:05:11,747
Hide!

1479
01:05:11,747 --> 01:05:12,873
Go!

1480
01:05:12,873 --> 01:05:14,291
Fuck.

1481
01:05:14,291 --> 01:05:15,709
Close it, close it,
close it.

1482
01:05:15,709 --> 01:05:16,793
Hold it. Hold it.

1483
01:05:22,924 --> 01:05:24,676
Hey, do we got any more
real bullets?

1484
01:05:24,676 --> 01:05:26,136
I checked already,

1485
01:05:26,136 --> 01:05:27,387
they're blanks.

1486
01:05:27,387 --> 01:05:28,489
What do you mean
they're fucking blanks?

1487
01:05:28,489 --> 01:05:30,515
Is everything in here
a fuckin' prop?

1488
01:05:30,515 --> 01:05:31,808
What about the knife?

1489
01:05:31,808 --> 01:05:33,012
The knife
I stabbed you with?

1490
01:05:33,012 --> 01:05:34,853
It was retractable.
Fake blood.

1491
01:05:34,853 --> 01:05:38,440
Shit! Are you
fucking kidding me?

1492
01:05:38,440 --> 01:05:40,275
Shit! Go.
Go, go, go!

1493
01:05:53,288 --> 01:05:54,498
Kevin?

1494
01:05:54,498 --> 01:05:55,999
Yeah.

1495
01:05:55,999 --> 01:05:57,834
Um, if anything happens

1496
01:05:57,834 --> 01:05:59,753
and we don't
get out of here alive,

1497
01:05:59,753 --> 01:06:03,131
I just want you to know...
- Stop.

1498
01:06:03,131 --> 01:06:05,926
I love you too.

1499
01:06:05,926 --> 01:06:08,512
- Uh...
- Shit. You were gonna

1500
01:06:08,512 --> 01:06:10,681
say somethin' else,
weren't you?

1501
01:06:10,681 --> 01:06:12,075
You were gonna say it
was nice knowin' me?

1502
01:06:12,075 --> 01:06:13,684
- Yeah.
- Fuck me.

1503
01:06:13,684 --> 01:06:16,144
We're about to die.
You could've at least lied.

1504
01:06:16,144 --> 01:06:17,830
I mean, you've been lying
this entire week,

1505
01:06:17,830 --> 01:06:19,165
wouldn't have made
that big of a difference.

1506
01:06:19,165 --> 01:06:22,025
I'm sorry.
I was hired to play a role

1507
01:06:22,025 --> 01:06:23,694
and they paid me
a lot of money.

1508
01:06:23,694 --> 01:06:25,320
Like, a lot.

1509
01:06:25,320 --> 01:06:26,547
You're not making it
any better.

1510
01:06:26,547 --> 01:06:28,198
You're actually making it
a lot worse.

1511
01:06:28,198 --> 01:06:30,158
Shh.
Did you hear that?

1512
01:06:30,158 --> 01:06:31,618
Shit.
They're coming.

1513
01:06:31,618 --> 01:06:33,161
Play dead.
- What? No.

1514
01:06:33,161 --> 01:06:34,597
They'll walk in here,
they'll see that we're dead,

1515
01:06:34,597 --> 01:06:35,497
and then they'll leave.

1516
01:06:35,497 --> 01:06:36,790
But how-how did we die?

1517
01:06:36,790 --> 01:06:38,500
I can't hear you.
I'm dying.

1518
01:06:57,811 --> 01:06:59,896
What the...

1519
01:07:09,781 --> 01:07:11,992
Oy! Did you hear that?

1520
01:07:11,992 --> 01:07:13,577
Yeah.
I think it's Ortiz.

1521
01:07:13,577 --> 01:07:16,872
Oh. Then what the fuck
are you waiting for?

1522
01:07:18,582 --> 01:07:20,333
It's not fuckin'
rocket science.

1523
01:07:33,180 --> 01:07:34,973
Kick me, bitch? Huh?
Kick this!

1524
01:07:38,602 --> 01:07:41,188
Kick me twice,
shame on me.

1525
01:07:45,776 --> 01:07:47,861
Kick me three times...

1526
01:08:05,128 --> 01:08:07,714
Don't look,
I'm on your fuckin' back.

1527
01:08:07,714 --> 01:08:09,633
Come on, let's get
the fuck outta here.

1528
01:08:17,265 --> 01:08:18,975
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.

1529
01:08:20,977 --> 01:08:21,977
Come on.

1530
01:08:29,486 --> 01:08:30,403
You think you can
win a gunfight

1531
01:08:30,403 --> 01:08:31,655
with a Colombian
drug lord?

1532
01:08:31,655 --> 01:08:33,907
No. We don't have guns
in England.

1533
01:08:33,907 --> 01:08:35,301
Didn't you say you're
from North Philly?

1534
01:08:35,301 --> 01:08:37,452
What are you doing?
I can't take the gun like that.

1535
01:08:37,452 --> 01:08:39,663
Give it to me right.

1536
01:08:39,663 --> 01:08:41,164
Ron would be proud.

1537
01:08:41,164 --> 01:08:42,999
Shut up, Ron would be proud.

1538
01:08:42,999 --> 01:08:44,793
Ron would be proud.

1539
01:08:44,793 --> 01:08:46,419
Shit!

1540
01:08:46,419 --> 01:08:49,256
Go. Go, go, go.

1541
01:08:49,256 --> 01:08:51,550
Fuck, fuck, go.

1542
01:09:02,686 --> 01:09:05,272
Okay. I'm going
to create a distraction,

1543
01:09:05,272 --> 01:09:07,107
and then you're going
to shoot the guy.

1544
01:09:07,107 --> 01:09:08,108
- Yeah.
- Are you ready?

1545
01:09:08,108 --> 01:09:10,110
I've never been
more ready in my life.

1546
01:09:10,110 --> 01:09:12,821
On three.
One, two...

1547
01:09:12,821 --> 01:09:14,423
Wait, wait, wait.
No, don't count like that.

1548
01:09:14,423 --> 01:09:17,576
Go the other way. Three, two...
Like that does better for me.

1549
01:09:17,576 --> 01:09:21,246
Three, two, one.

1550
01:09:21,246 --> 01:09:22,956
Go, go, go.

1551
01:09:22,956 --> 01:09:24,039
It's go-time.

1552
01:09:25,709 --> 01:09:27,836
Yeah, motherfucker!

1553
01:09:27,836 --> 01:09:29,504
Yeah, motherfucker!

1554
01:09:31,298 --> 01:09:32,716
God damn!

1555
01:09:32,716 --> 01:09:34,092
Motherfucking prop!

1556
01:09:34,092 --> 01:09:35,635
I'm out! I'm out!
I'm out!

1557
01:09:37,888 --> 01:09:40,181
Fuck!
Almost got him.

1558
01:09:40,181 --> 01:09:42,017
- Yeah, you did.
- Yeah.

1559
01:09:44,978 --> 01:09:46,563
Okay, he's reloading.

1560
01:09:46,563 --> 01:09:47,731
Follow me. Quick.
- Okay.

1561
01:09:47,731 --> 01:09:50,108
Wait, wait. Wait for me!
Wait for me!

1562
01:09:53,570 --> 01:09:54,487
Damn it.

1563
01:09:54,487 --> 01:09:56,323
Can't believe
I missed his ass.

1564
01:09:56,323 --> 01:09:58,825
I had him. The sight.
It's gotta be the sight.

1565
01:09:58,825 --> 01:10:00,136
The sight is off with this.
- No, Kevin.

1566
01:10:00,136 --> 01:10:02,203
You just can't shoot for shit.
We need to think!

1567
01:10:02,203 --> 01:10:05,081
There has to be something
in here we can use.

1568
01:10:05,081 --> 01:10:07,918
Guess what we can't use? This.
It's out of bullets.

1569
01:10:07,918 --> 01:10:09,336
I ain't got
no more bullets.

1570
01:10:09,336 --> 01:10:10,921
Kevin! Focus.

1571
01:10:10,921 --> 01:10:12,213
It's props.

1572
01:10:12,213 --> 01:10:14,341
It's a bunch of fuckin'
props over here.

1573
01:10:21,222 --> 01:10:23,266
Whoop, there it is.

1574
01:11:06,393 --> 01:11:09,229
<i>Hell no!
Oh, hell no!</i>

1575
01:11:09,229 --> 01:11:12,399
<i>Oh hell no! No-no-no...</i>

1576
01:11:12,399 --> 01:11:13,942
Got you,
motherfucker!

1577
01:11:16,027 --> 01:11:17,027
Oh shit!

1578
01:11:18,822 --> 01:11:20,907
Okay, okay,
okay, okay.

1579
01:11:23,535 --> 01:11:24,535
Hold his ass.

1580
01:11:29,040 --> 01:11:32,252
Oh, you thought it
was over, didn't you?

1581
01:11:32,252 --> 01:11:34,004
But I don't
travel alone.

1582
01:11:34,004 --> 01:11:36,464
No, I got my friends
with me.

1583
01:11:36,464 --> 01:11:40,260
Let me introduce you to
Mr. Fuck Shit and Mr. Up.

1584
01:11:40,260 --> 01:11:42,762
- Kevin, shut up!
- Okay. No, no, I was...

1585
01:11:42,762 --> 01:11:43,972
I had more,
but I can cut it.

1586
01:11:43,972 --> 01:11:45,265
Hold this motherfucker.

1587
01:11:47,183 --> 01:11:50,061
Shit! I thought
you had his feet!

1588
01:11:53,440 --> 01:11:56,693
Shit! Yeah.
We got his ass.

1589
01:11:56,693 --> 01:11:58,236
I got him.

1590
01:11:58,236 --> 01:12:00,739
Ain't no "I" in "team."
Put it up here.

1591
01:12:00,739 --> 01:12:02,282
Let's get outta here.
Come on.

1592
01:12:02,282 --> 01:12:05,285
Watch your step.
Watch your step. Let's go.

1593
01:12:05,285 --> 01:12:06,846
He kicked me right in
the fucking nose,

1594
01:12:06,846 --> 01:12:08,038
son of a bitch.

1595
01:12:13,835 --> 01:12:15,754
Run! Run.

1596
01:12:24,721 --> 01:12:26,723
Hey, wait a minute,
Jordan.

1597
01:12:26,723 --> 01:12:28,266
Jordan, slow down.
It's a cliff.

1598
01:12:28,266 --> 01:12:29,726
It's a cliff!
It's a cliff!

1599
01:12:34,856 --> 01:12:35,856
Oh, shit.

1600
01:12:37,692 --> 01:12:39,110
Come on, we've got to go.

1601
01:12:39,110 --> 01:12:42,113
I can't! I can't do that.
That's too far.

1602
01:12:42,113 --> 01:12:44,866
I'm sorry.
- Jesus Christ, just jump.

1603
01:12:44,866 --> 01:12:47,368
- Just go. Go save yourself!
- No!

1604
01:12:47,368 --> 01:12:50,080
We're both getting out of here.
Now, hurry the fuck up!

1605
01:12:52,957 --> 01:12:53,807
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

1606
01:12:57,337 --> 01:12:58,337
Fuck!

1607
01:13:01,758 --> 01:13:03,218
Go. Go. Go.

1608
01:13:03,218 --> 01:13:04,301
Shit.

1609
01:13:09,015 --> 01:13:11,142
Why didn't you say
you love me back?

1610
01:13:11,142 --> 01:13:14,938
Uh, I dunno.
We just...

1611
01:13:14,938 --> 01:13:16,916
We're just kinda getting
to know each other and...

1612
01:13:25,949 --> 01:13:29,494
Any last words
before I blow your brains out?

1613
01:13:29,494 --> 01:13:31,913
Don't shoot me, okay?

1614
01:13:31,913 --> 01:13:34,374
You ain't gotta
do this.

1615
01:13:34,374 --> 01:13:35,792
You ain't gotta
do this, man.

1616
01:13:41,881 --> 01:13:43,675
Yeah. Just let me...

1617
01:13:46,344 --> 01:13:48,972
Why are you doing that?

1618
01:13:48,972 --> 01:13:52,142
Cut it out.
Stop it!

1619
01:13:52,142 --> 01:13:54,227
You look at me
when I kill you.

1620
01:13:54,227 --> 01:13:55,353
Look at me!

1621
01:13:55,353 --> 01:13:57,313
I know that there's
nothing up there.

1622
01:14:30,388 --> 01:14:32,640
Ah, shit!

1623
01:14:37,520 --> 01:14:40,565
Go home. I'm sure there's
a real hero somewhere

1624
01:14:40,565 --> 01:14:41,983
in need of
a goofy sidekick.

1625
01:14:43,610 --> 01:14:45,862
Well, you're not
alone anymore.

1626
01:14:51,659 --> 01:14:54,204
I've got you,
I promise!

1627
01:14:54,204 --> 01:14:55,872
Kevin!

1628
01:14:55,872 --> 01:14:57,749
Focus.

1629
01:15:11,804 --> 01:15:13,848
I owe you one.

1630
01:15:21,356 --> 01:15:23,566
I'm comin' for you.

1631
01:15:23,566 --> 01:15:24,859
I'm comin'.

1632
01:15:29,155 --> 01:15:31,574
It's a simple jump.

1633
01:15:31,574 --> 01:15:34,619
Three, two, one.

1634
01:15:44,671 --> 01:15:47,548
Hey.
Hey, come on.

1635
01:15:47,548 --> 01:15:49,717
Jordan, no.
Come on, get up. Get up.

1636
01:15:49,717 --> 01:15:51,678
Jordan, no.

1637
01:15:51,678 --> 01:15:54,055
Look at me.
Look at me.

1638
01:15:54,055 --> 01:15:57,892
Don't you die. Don't you die.
I'm not gonna let you die.

1639
01:15:57,892 --> 01:16:03,022
Come on, Jordan. You can't...
you can't die, not...

1640
01:16:03,022 --> 01:16:06,526
Come on, Jordan.
Get up. Don't do...

1641
01:16:06,526 --> 01:16:09,570
Jordan! Jordan!

1642
01:16:09,570 --> 01:16:12,198
I jumped.
I got over here.

1643
01:16:12,198 --> 01:16:15,576
Jordan?
I fucking jumped!

1644
01:16:15,576 --> 01:16:19,205
I fucking jumped.

1645
01:16:22,834 --> 01:16:24,085
I fuckin'...

1646
01:16:24,085 --> 01:16:25,045
Breathe.

1647
01:16:28,256 --> 01:16:28,976
Bravo.

1648
01:16:30,425 --> 01:16:32,802
It's a wrap, everybody.

1649
01:16:32,802 --> 01:16:33,522
Bravo.

1650
01:16:40,101 --> 01:16:41,477
A wrap?

1651
01:16:41,477 --> 01:16:42,812
Agent Hart!

1652
01:16:42,812 --> 01:16:43,896
Coach Ron?

1653
01:16:43,896 --> 01:16:45,096
Woo! Yeah!

1654
01:16:47,275 --> 01:16:49,152
- Yeah!
- Oh, yeah.

1655
01:16:49,152 --> 01:16:50,486
What the fuck
is happening?

1656
01:16:52,822 --> 01:16:54,824
Hey, baby. It was good workin'
with you.

1657
01:16:54,824 --> 01:16:56,534
No hard feelings, man.
Sorry.

1658
01:17:04,292 --> 01:17:07,253
- Hi.
- Oh, no. Come on, Jordan.

1659
01:17:07,253 --> 01:17:09,714
This was a part of it, too?
- Yeah.

1660
01:17:09,714 --> 01:17:12,258
Sorry, Kevin.
- Jordan.

1661
01:17:12,258 --> 01:17:14,469
I really thought
that I lost you.

1662
01:17:14,469 --> 01:17:17,305
Oh, Kevin.

1663
01:17:17,305 --> 01:17:19,474
Well, I guess I'm glad
that you're alive.

1664
01:17:19,474 --> 01:17:21,809
Well, movie magic.

1665
01:17:24,771 --> 01:17:27,106
- Movie magic.
- Very good. Very good, guys.

1666
01:17:30,985 --> 01:17:33,738
Jordan, no.
Come on. Get up. Get up.

1667
01:17:33,738 --> 01:17:36,324
Jordan, you can't do this.
Don't die.

1668
01:17:36,324 --> 01:17:38,993
Come on, Jordan.
Get up. Don't do...

1669
01:17:38,993 --> 01:17:43,122
Jordan!
Jordan!

1670
01:17:43,122 --> 01:17:46,501
I did it. I jumped.
I got over here!

1671
01:17:46,501 --> 01:17:50,421
Jordan.
I fuckin' jumped!

1672
01:17:50,421 --> 01:17:53,883
I fuckin' jumped.

1673
01:18:10,024 --> 01:18:11,274
Well?

1674
01:18:18,741 --> 01:18:21,327
That may be the strangest
movie I've ever seen.

1675
01:18:24,372 --> 01:18:28,793
So bizarre
and-and-and violent.

1676
01:18:32,004 --> 01:18:36,592
And yet...
authentic.

1677
01:18:39,804 --> 01:18:42,014
You can't teach
acting like that.

1678
01:18:42,014 --> 01:18:43,349
- So, you liked it?
- Like it?

1679
01:18:43,349 --> 01:18:45,101
I like kidney-shaped
swimming pools.

1680
01:18:45,101 --> 01:18:46,894
I like reduced-fat
eggnog.

1681
01:18:46,894 --> 01:18:48,980
This movie?

1682
01:18:48,980 --> 01:18:50,940
I loved.

1683
01:18:50,940 --> 01:18:52,859
He loves it.

1684
01:18:52,859 --> 01:18:54,944
How does it feel
to be a leading man

1685
01:18:54,944 --> 01:18:56,571
in your own
action movie?

1686
01:18:56,571 --> 01:18:59,615
- Wow.
- Kevin, please.

1687
01:18:59,615 --> 01:19:01,409
Oh, the same stage.

1688
01:19:01,409 --> 01:19:02,869
Uh...

1689
01:19:02,869 --> 01:19:05,288
Oh, stop, stop.
Guys.

1690
01:19:05,288 --> 01:19:07,874
Well, I learned
two things.

1691
01:19:07,874 --> 01:19:10,293
The first thing is
that it's dangerous.

1692
01:19:10,293 --> 01:19:12,003
It's dangerous
as hell.

1693
01:19:12,003 --> 01:19:14,172
I mean, I was set on fire.

1694
01:19:14,172 --> 01:19:15,524
I was hit in the head
with a bat.

1695
01:19:15,524 --> 01:19:17,592
Punched. Kicked.
I'm really gonna be scarred.

1696
01:19:17,592 --> 01:19:19,635
Yeah, he probably is.

1697
01:19:19,635 --> 01:19:20,779
No, I'm serious. I don't know
why you're laughing,

1698
01:19:20,779 --> 01:19:22,305
I'm being very serious.

1699
01:19:22,305 --> 01:19:24,450
I'm gonna have real issues
because of this guy right here.

1700
01:19:24,450 --> 01:19:25,766
- Fuck yeah!
- It's not...

1701
01:19:25,766 --> 01:19:29,103
It's not a fuck yeah.
It's a serious thing.

1702
01:19:31,439 --> 01:19:35,234
The second thing that
I learned is that, uh,

1703
01:19:35,234 --> 01:19:40,198
there's no such thing
as a leading man.

1704
01:19:40,198 --> 01:19:42,700
'Cause you're nothing
without your co-stars.

1705
01:19:45,995 --> 01:19:48,539
And I had that
in-in you guys.

1706
01:19:48,539 --> 01:19:50,416
So, thank you. Come on.
Get up here.

1707
01:19:50,416 --> 01:19:51,792
Seriously. Get up here.
- Bro.

1708
01:19:51,792 --> 01:19:53,211
- Buddy.
- Take this in.

1709
01:19:53,211 --> 01:19:54,837
Take it in with me.

1710
01:19:54,837 --> 01:19:56,964
Wait, wait.
Do I get top billing?

1711
01:19:56,964 --> 01:19:58,299
Yeah. You'll have
top billing.

1712
01:19:58,299 --> 01:19:59,634
Nice.
I forgot to ask.

1713
01:19:59,634 --> 01:20:01,195
Well, I think it's time
to celebrate.

1714
01:20:01,195 --> 01:20:02,261
- Yes!
- Yes!

1715
01:20:02,261 --> 01:20:04,180
Looks like we've got
a hit on our hands!

1716
01:20:04,180 --> 01:20:06,307
Ron, congratulations!

1717
01:20:06,307 --> 01:20:10,394
Congratulations, everybody.

1718
01:20:10,394 --> 01:20:13,314
Ladies and gentlemen, we have
a real treat for you today.

1719
01:20:13,314 --> 01:20:15,209
Okay, wait, wait, wait.
Easy with the spoilers.

1720
01:20:15,209 --> 01:20:17,235
This requires a little
dramatic build-up.

1721
01:20:17,235 --> 01:20:18,778
Okay.
Here it is.

1722
01:20:18,778 --> 01:20:20,255
Now, you know that
I'm not a big fan

1723
01:20:20,255 --> 01:20:23,157
of these high-budget
action films.

1724
01:20:23,157 --> 01:20:24,242
Here she goes again

1725
01:20:24,242 --> 01:20:26,536
with her love
of fancy foreign films.

1726
01:20:26,536 --> 01:20:28,347
I have discerning taste.
This is my build-up.

1727
01:20:28,347 --> 01:20:30,122
This is what you requested.
- Continue.

1728
01:20:30,122 --> 01:20:32,750
This movie
by Claude Van De Velde moved me.

1729
01:20:32,750 --> 01:20:34,710
I gotta say.
- It's an incredible film.

1730
01:20:34,710 --> 01:20:36,587
I've seen it 27 times.

1731
01:20:36,587 --> 01:20:38,130
Team Van de Velde right here.

1732
01:20:38,130 --> 01:20:40,925
The hero of this movie
is not the action star

1733
01:20:40,925 --> 01:20:42,134
that you would expect.

1734
01:20:42,134 --> 01:20:44,971
The one that really
saves the day.

1735
01:20:44,971 --> 01:20:46,764
Well, we have him here today.

1736
01:20:46,764 --> 01:20:49,767
Ladies and gentlemen,
Sassy the squirrel.

1737
01:20:51,519 --> 01:20:53,896
Oh, you're a lot bigger
in person.

1738
01:20:53,896 --> 01:20:55,898
Oh, hell no.