1
00:00:05,273 --> 00:00:06,713
So?
(whispers): No.

2
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,510
No. You-You were in.

3
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:10,212
I said, "Have you met Ted"
and everything.

4
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:11,884
How could that not work?
I don't know,

5
00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,812
we introduced ourselves,
I bought her a drink,

6
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,077
told her I loved her...

7
00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:16,746
What?
I'm kidding.

8
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:18,724
Hold on, Roxanne.

9
00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:21,322
You played "Have You Met Ted"
without me?

10
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,655
In m bar with my Ted?

11
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:27,931
Maybe stealing a bro's wingman
is okay back in...

12
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:31,371
I'm sorry, what's the name of
this third world banana republic

13
00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:32,929
you claim to be from?

14
00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:35,566
Canada.

15
00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:38,043
I have literally
never heard of that place.

16
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:39,672
When'd you move
here, anyway?

17
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:40,707
Two months ago.

18
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:41,881
How do you like it?
Honestly,

19
00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:43,509
it-it's been
a little tough.

20
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:46,514
I moved here for this on-air
reporter job at Metro News 1

21
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,347
thinking it was gonna
be my big break,

22
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,422
only to find out

23
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:51,050
that our viewership
mostly consists

24
00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:52,285
of DMV waiting rooms

25
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,420
and people plugging in their
TV for the first time.

26
00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:55,455
(chuckles)

27
00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:58,059
To top it all off,
I have no friends.

28
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,599
Um... wrong.

29
00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:02,959
You have four friends
right here.

30
00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:05,096
Right, guys?
Uh, yeah.

31
00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:06,933
You're totally in our gang,
now. And once you're in,

32
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:08,297
you're in for life, right?

33
00:01:08,336 --> 00:01:10,036
She's in.
Oh.
All right.

34
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,770
She's in.
Welcome.

35
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:13,735
Well, if I'm in, I should
get the next round.

36
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:15,244
Whoa, whoa,
Ooh,

37
00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:16,736
I like this girl.
ho, ho.

38
00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:20,375
I'm serious, I
like this girl.

39
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,324
So here's the deal
with the deal.

40
00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:23,750
Robin's my new
best friend--

41
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:25,224
nobody bangs her.

42
00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:26,323
Hey, hey,

43
00:01:26,354 --> 00:01:27,664
hey, she only rejected me

44
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,788
three times,
she's still very much in play.

45
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,663
I'm serious.

46
00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:35,262
There's only one way I'd let
either of you have sex with her.

47
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:37,996
(gasps)
Not that. It's never that.

48
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,229
I really want this girl

49
00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:41,838
to stay a part
of our lives.

50
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:45,309
So the only way you're allowed
to hook up with her...

51
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:47,909
is if you marry her.

52
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,181
Too rich for my blood.

53
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,675
TED:
That son of a bitch did it.

54
00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:55,954
He really did.

55
00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:58,093
So you're moving
to Chicago tomorrow, huh?

56
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,088
How do you feel?

57
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,990
Uh, I'm looking forward to it.

58
00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:03,462
The job's amazing.

59
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:04,961
I got a great apartment
lined up.

60
00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:07,162
You know, it's...

61
00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:08,955
It's exciting.

62
00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:10,996
Onwards and upwar...

63
00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:13,031
*

64
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:35,988
*

65
00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:39,633
BARNEY:
Hey! Bass player.

66
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:42,330
It's me. The guy from
the drug store with the diapers

67
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:43,963
that hit on you,
then we went outside

68
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,367
and had a deep, emotional
talk on a bus bench.

69
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,340
Remember when you

70
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:49,639
told me to stop
messing around

71
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:50,800
and go get the girl?

72
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:53,508
Well, check it. I got her.

73
00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:55,311
(chuckles)

74
00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:57,953
What about you?
You still dating that guy?

75
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,859
Grape Scotch!

76
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,058
Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted.

77
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,530
Right here,
right here,
Yeah,

78
00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:12,989
I-I see you, Barney.
right here,
right here.

79
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,496
Good, great. Then it's
time to play a little game

80
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:15,698
I like to call Have...
Yeah,

81
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,599
Barney, I...
No, no.

82
00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,601
You are not getting out
of Have You Met Ted.

83
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:20,903
There's a girl
that you have to meet.

84
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:23,244
She is perfect for you.
And has...

85
00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:24,771
she met you?
No, she has... not.

86
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:27,005
Think of all the sex
you're gonna ha..

87
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,210
Barney.

88
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:30,910
I ha... I have to go.

89
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,754
What, now?

90
00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:36,645
Yeah.

91
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,188
Y...

92
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,489
W-We have to do this outside.

93
00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:49,061
Robin.

94
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,930
It's been a major pleasure.

95
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,195
Major Pleasure.
Major Pleasure.

96
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,244
(chuckles)
Come here.

97
00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:00,773
(whispers):
Congratulations.

98
00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:02,338
(whispers):
Thank you.

99
00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:11,622
Oh, God, no, this is too real.

100
00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:14,792
I can't handle this,
Marshall's next.

101
00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:16,792
Marshall.

102
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:21,462
Good luck out there
in Chicago.

103
00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:23,795
I'm gonna be kind of jealous
of you, getting to have

104
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:26,301
Gazzola's pizza
whenever you want.

105
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,604
You're gonna be in Rome.

106
00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:30,365
Yeah. I guess.

107
00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:37,954
I just...

108
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:41,178
I feel like a hug isn't enough.

109
00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:42,984
E.T. good-bye?

110
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:50,620
(imitating E.T.):
I'll be right...

111
00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:53,458
here.

112
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,634
Okay, it helped,
but that was really creepy.

113
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,673
I don't want to
see you for awhile.
(laughs)

114
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,070
Barney.

115
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,337
Mm.

116
00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:08,875
We licked the Liberty Bell.

117
00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:10,309
We did?

118
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:11,984
Yeah, you...

119
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,482
You don't remember that?

120
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,884
Uh, I've done
a lot of cool stuff, Ted.

121
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,820
Oh, my God.

122
00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:21,693
I just... I just realized:

123
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:23,292
Who am I gonna high five now?

124
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,533
(laughs) Come on, dude.
No, no,

125
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,629
I'm being serious.
What if I see...

126
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:30,301
a pack of lions
fighting a tyrannosaurus?

127
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,800
Or, better yet,

128
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,632
what if I see boobs?

129
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,297
Who am I...
who am I gonna high five then?

130
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,365
You can high
five Marshall.

131
00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:37,844
Yeah, yeah. But Marshall

132
00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:39,871
only likes to high five
about Lily boobs.

133
00:05:39,907 --> 00:05:41,807
Oh, always.

134
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,042
Okay, Barney.

135
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,907
I have an idea.

136
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,876
One last high five.

137
00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:51,685
A high five to echo
throughout eternity.

138
00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:53,249
Yes.

139
00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:54,816
And within
that high five will be

140
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,015
all the high fives
we've ever high fived.

141
00:05:57,057 --> 00:06:00,157
And all the high fives we
could ever possibly high five.

142
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,103
A high infinity.

143
00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:03,659
A high infinity, exactly.

144
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:04,767
Let's do this.

145
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,228
All right,
everybody back up.

146
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,266
Oh, boy.

147
00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,609
I'll see you
on the other side, Ray.

148
00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,778
Nice working with you,
Dr. Venkman.

149
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:20,051
(Ted and Barney growling)

150
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,820
TED and BARNEY:
Aah!

151
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,123
(slap)
Ow!
Ow!

152
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:27,352
Oh.
Oh.
Oh!

153
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,557
Worth it.

154
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:30,589
So worth it.
(short laugh)

155
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,855
So I rushed out
to make the train,

156
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,534
which is now 45 minutes late.

157
00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:37,973
This lady
with the bass guitar--

158
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,428
was she pretty?

159
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,104
*

160
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,766
Yeah.

161
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:45,905
She was beautiful.

162
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,439
Go back and meet her.

163
00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:48,905
No.

164
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,442
But what if it was destiny?

165
00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:53,608
Lady, it's been
a really long weekend.

166
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:56,547
I'm moving to Chicago tomorrow.

167
00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:58,554
I can't really
talk destiny right now.

168
00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:00,516
Okay.

169
00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:09,996
Yes?

170
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:14,670
What if the universe
sent you a gigantic sign

171
00:07:14,702 --> 00:07:17,812
that this woman
was your destiny?

172
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:19,268
Then would you talk to her?

173
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:23,738
Yeah, sure. I mean,
I-I guess I would have to.

174
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:24,747
Okay.

175
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,748
Okay.

176
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,180
Where is that train?

177
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:30,845
Can I ask one more question?

178
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,194
What?

179
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:34,819
This girl with the bass guitar--

180
00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:36,385
is that her?

181
00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:45,471
That is her, isn't it?

182
00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:47,839
(whoops)
This is so exciting.

183
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,298
G-Go talk to her.

184
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:51,666
(whispers):
All right. Just be cool,
lady. Damn.

185
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,365
Why are you still
sitting here?

186
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:56,976
Because I'm moving to
Chicago tomorrow, remember?

187
00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,710
And 24 hours
from now,

188
00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:02,276
my life is gonna be
completely different.

189
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,115
MARSHALL: This is so strange,
you know, now that Ted's

190
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:09,122
gone, it's just a...
a different vibe.

191
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:12,626
You can just f-feel
his absence.

192
00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:14,330
Are you kidding me?!

193
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:15,461
Oh, hey.

194
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,795
What are you doing
in New York?

195
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,330
Aren't you
supposed to be in Chicago?

196
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:19,965
No... Oh.

197
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,540
Yeah, I'm not doing that.

198
00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:22,869
What?
What?

199
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:26,473
I'm not moving
to Chicago.
Why?

200
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:27,976
I met a girl.
You...

201
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,408
son of a bitch!

202
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:31,142
What is the matter with you?

203
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,548
How could you put us
through that?

204
00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:35,480
That good-bye was
emotionally devastating.

205
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:38,385
A certain delicate flower
cried all night in the shower.

206
00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:40,218
And I was pretty
bummed, too.

207
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,253
And now you're

208
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:42,818
staying because of some girl?

209
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,926
I mean, who is
this person?

210
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:46,758
The bass player
from the wedding band.

211
00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,234
Oh, yeah, she's great.
(gasps)

212
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:49,331
Love her.
Right,

213
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,832
right?

214
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,204
What are you...
What are you doing?
Calling her.

215
00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:55,773
Don't do this.
Don't call her the next day.

216
00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:56,943
You're blowing this.
Huh?

217
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:59,240
Three days.
You wait three days, Ted.

218
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:02,842
H-Hey, it's Ted. Hi. Um,

219
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,546
listen, do you ... do you want
to have dinner tomorrow night?

220
00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:07,009
Great.

221
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,717
It was clear I meant
with me, right?

222
00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:12,147
Same answer. Solid.

223
00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:15,557
MARSHALL:
Why does he keep
doing this?

224
00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:18,429
He meets 'em,
he likes 'em way too much,

225
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:21,558
he goes way too big, too soon,
and he ends up blowing it.

226
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:23,425
I can't take this anymore.

227
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:26,233
He's fallen in love
so many times now.

228
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,695
Not like this.

229
00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:32,768
This is different.

230
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:35,106
Come on, go talk to her.

231
00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:37,142
Oh, and it'll all be
because of me.

232
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:39,977
And I'll sing
at your wedding. (laughs)

233
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:42,223
Y-You are gonna have
a big wedding, right?

234
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,519
What? No.
Just be cool, lady. Damn.

235
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:49,460
(sighs) And aren't big weddings
kind of a young man's game?

236
00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:51,629
You don't have a big wedding
in your 30s.

237
00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:53,459
If I do ever get married,

238
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:55,233
I'm keeping it simple.

239
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,302
BARNEY: A hot air balloon?

240
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,670
Well, yeah. I mean,
when you're getting married

241
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:02,140
in a 17th-century castle in
France and making your entrance

242
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:03,739
on a stagecoach
with six white horses,

243
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,811
you kind of got to make
a big exit. (chuckles)

244
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:08,939
How much are you
spending on this?

245
00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:11,476
Oh, like, a lot of money.

246
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:12,811
Mm.
All of my money.

247
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:15,176
Look, I know you guys
have been traveling a lot,

248
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:16,775
but you're coming, right?

249
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,617
Oh course. What...
Duh.

250
00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:20,092
(short laugh)
(quiet laugh)

251
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,590
I'll get the next round.

252
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:22,621
Thanks.

253
00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:23,786
I'd offer, but...

254
00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:24,934
Castle.

255
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,628
Yeah.

256
00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:29,261
So, how you guys doing?

257
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,126
I mean, Robin's really
taking off at work, huh?

258
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:34,804
It's like, "Robin Scherbatsky,
World Wide News, Caracas."

259
00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:37,595
"Robin Scherbatsky, World Wide
News, St. Petersburg."

260
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,267
"Robin Scherbatsky,
World Wide News,

261
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:41,636
anywhere but New York,
apparently." (laughs)

262
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:42,935
But it's great.

263
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,146
Uh, it's makes things
super difficult for us,

264
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,978
but it's great. It's great.

265
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:50,475
It's great. It's great.

266
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:51,617
One more and I'll believe you.

267
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,791
It's great. (laughs)
Sounds great.

268
00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:56,021
Hey.
Hi, hi. Sorry I'm late.

269
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:59,526
Can I talk to you for a minute?
Yeah, sure. Did you wire the
down payment to the castle guy?

270
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,159
I got a castle guy.

271
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:03,564
I've got, like,
three castle guys.

272
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:06,296
And a moat guy, so...

273
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:09,303
I didn't wire the
payment because

274
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:12,666
I don't think we can get
married in September.

275
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:14,636
What-What, why?
Because,

276
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,644
when I do get married,

277
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,246
I kind of want to fit

278
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:22,019
in... my dress.

279
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,346
Why wouldn't you f...

280
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:27,319
No.

281
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,324
Yeah.

282
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:29,355
No.
Yeah.

283
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:30,359
Yeah, yeah.

284
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,390
Yeah.
Whoa. (laughing)

285
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:35,904
What's going on?

286
00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:38,229
She's getting a boob job.

287
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,999
LILY: We just peeked in on Penny

288
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,335
asleep in the baby room.

289
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:44,600
It's adorable.

290
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:46,867
The whole place
looks great, guys.

291
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:50,037
But I can't believe you let Ted
hang his jousting lance

292
00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:52,507
from the renaissance fair
on your bedroom wall.

293
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,275
(chuckles)
Yeah.

294
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,654
That's Ted's.

295
00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,347
So, Marshall,
how's your job going?
Mm.

296
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,445
My chair...

297
00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:02,617
is reasonably comfortable.

298
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,885
For short periods of time.

299
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:07,355
Marshall has decided to say

300
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,204
only positive things about
being back in corporate law.

301
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,300
So you hate it?

302
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:14,201
Much of what I do does not
make me cry.

303
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,374
Hey, what about you guys?

304
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,973
How was Argentina?

305
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,539
Great. It was great.

306
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,284
It was great.
It was great.

307
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:24,950
It was great.
It wa great.

308
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:27,818
It was great.
(chuckles)

309
00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:29,718
One more and I'll
believe you.

310
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,049
(sighs)
(sighs)

311
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,894
This is so not great.

312
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,620
I'm sorry that I have
to work while I'm here.

313
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:37,615
It's called being on assignment.

314
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,457
Well, what about me? There's
no Wi-Fi in this hotel.

315
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:41,592
How am I supposed to
run a business, Robin,

316
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,128
with no Wi-Fi?

317
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:45,473
It's not a business,
Barney, it's a blog, okay?

318
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,468
It is a lifestyle blog.

319
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:50,470
For the upscale,
sophisticated urban
gentleman, and it's

320
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:54,213
never gonna take off if I can't
post today's boner joke.

321
00:12:57,845 --> 00:12:59,645
I know I'm always traveling.

322
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:01,979
We both hate it when
I'm gone, we both hate it

323
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:04,645
when I drag you with me.
Neither of us is happy.

324
00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:08,623
Is this just not
working anymore?

325
00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:11,515
Wait, w... What "this"?
This-this?

326
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:15,828
If I gave you an out,
right now--

327
00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:17,973
if there was
an exit ramp right here

328
00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:21,498
at the three-year mark--

329
00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:23,344
would you take it?

330
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:26,472
Before I answer that,
real quick:

331
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,706
you want to get super drunk
and have sex right now?

332
00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:30,611
Of course.

333
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:33,013
And then, one thing
led to another.

334
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:34,606
And then another.

335
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:35,877
And then another
after that.

336
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,146
Oh.
Oh.

337
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:39,624
And we kept drinking, and

338
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,062
may have had
a little... too much.

339
00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:48,304
Arigato.

340
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:49,798
Wow, these rooms
all look the same,

341
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,029
even when you're sober.

342
00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:53,374
You're sober?

343
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:57,067
So, um...

344
00:13:57,104 --> 00:14:00,514
about what we discussed
last night.

345
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:03,842
How do you feel?

346
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,094
I love you, Robin.

347
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:18,929
And when we got married,

348
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:24,099
I made a vow that I would always
tell you the truth.

349
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,639
We got divorced.

350
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,111
I can't believe you got
divorced without telling us.

351
00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:42,717
This is my mom and
dad all over again.

352
00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:44,949
Barney, if you start
brewing your own beer now

353
00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:46,745
and nail my prom
date, so help me...

354
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:48,116
Years too late on
one of those, Teddy.

355
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:50,562
Guys, it's okay.

356
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,590
This isn't
a failed marriage.

357
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,255
It's a very
successful marriage

358
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,104
that happened to
only last three years.

359
00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:58,099
You both want this?

360
00:14:58,131 --> 00:14:59,931
For real?

361
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:01,967
We do.

362
00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,672
For real.

363
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:07,407
Lily, you okay?

364
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:08,980
Of course
I'm not okay.

365
00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:11,409
This ruins
everything.

366
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:12,784
Now we have to choose sides,

367
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,882
and obviously
we're gonna choose Robin,

368
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,754
but Barney has his moments.

369
00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:18,253
MARSHALL:
I really liked

370
00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:19,645
the boner joke of the day.

371
00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:21,986
Look, you guys do not need
to pick sides.

372
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:24,622
Nothing has to change.
No. We've already
broken up before

373
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,657
and we've stayed friends,
remember?

374
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:30,663
As long as you promise me this
won't mean we stop hanging out.

375
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:32,927
Okay.

376
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,666
I'm serious.
I know,
but, I mean,

377
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,601
we hardly hang out anymore
anyway.

378
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,666
They live in the suburbs now,

379
00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:40,505
and you two are about
to have baby number three.

380
00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:44,479
Please. You're so obvious.

381
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:46,981
Your gals are back up
to a full C-cup,

382
00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:49,024
and you've been sipping
her drink all night long.

383
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:51,517
We didn't want
to announce anything

384
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:52,951
till we knew for sure.

385
00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:54,286
Oh, my gosh, Lily!

386
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:55,961
That's amazing!
Oh, congratulations!

387
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,919
Oh, my God.
Wait, see?

388
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,587
This, right here,

389
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,926
this is why we can't fall
out of each other's lives.

390
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,502
We have to be here
for the big moments.

391
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:07,932
Just promise me,
no matter what,

392
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,667
we will always be there
for the big moments.

393
00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:14,713
I-I promise. We'll-we'll always
be there for the big moments.

394
00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:17,712
Mm.
See?

395
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:20,554
It's like this whole divorce
thing never happened.

396
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:21,810
(crying)

397
00:16:21,848 --> 00:16:22,848
I...

398
00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:27,122
Hey.
Hi, sweetie.

399
00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:28,394
How was work?

400
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:31,491
My-my boss only called me
three words

401
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:33,994
that meant "vagina" today.

402
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,664
How are the kids?
Asleep.

403
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,826
Good. This is working, right?

404
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:41,995
Marvin and Daisy sharing a room
together? It's not too cramped?

405
00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:43,965
And then when the
next one arrives,

406
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,813
we'll just put her
crib... in the shower.

407
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,479
It's the perfect size.
It'll save time on cleanups...

408
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,539
Let's move
somewhere bigger.

409
00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:52,477
Yes. Oh, thank God.

410
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:55,082
I mean... You know,

411
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:57,545
don't get me wrong.
I love this apartment.

412
00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,824
How do you say good-bye
to so many special memories?

413
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,822
Cock-a-mouse!
We have to move!

414
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,855
(dance music playing)
(laughs)

415
00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:09,559
Hey, Marshall.
Robin!

416
00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:12,166
Hey, I'm so glad you're here.
It's-it's been forever.

417
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,599
Oh, hey.
Hey.

418
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,403
Where's your...
where's your costume?

419
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:17,995
Oh, uh, it's been
a crazy week at work

420
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,767
so no time to go shopping.

421
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:22,076
Uh, well, who are
you supposed to be?

422
00:17:22,109 --> 00:17:24,409
Okay, I want to make it clear
this is not my idea.

423
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,284
I'm Captain Ahab.

424
00:17:26,313 --> 00:17:28,553
Why is it bad
if it was your idea?

425
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,621
Robin, you made it!
A white whale. Got it.
(chuckles)

426
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,720
Aw. Hi.
Hi.

427
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:34,222
Yeah, I figured,

428
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:37,564
people are thinkin' it. Might as
well steer into the skid, right?

429
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,260
Where's your costume?

430
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:40,592
Oh, you know,
I've just been so...

431
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:42,097
(squealing)
Oh, my God, Marshall!

432
00:17:42,129 --> 00:17:43,759
Guess whose digits
I just scored?

433
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:46,066
The slutty
police officer's...

434
00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:48,399
tax attorney.

435
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:50,195
Hey, Robin!

436
00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:52,037
Hey.
Didn't see you there.

437
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,111
(chuckling nervously)
Saved it.

438
00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:55,611
Sorry, I got to pee.

439
00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:58,252
I-I'll be back
in... an hour.

440
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,378
Oh, man.

441
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,916
Is Ted still wearing
his hanging chad costume?

442
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:08,052
How old is that thing?
It's gone

443
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,717
from played out to
charmingly retro and back

444
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,227
six or seven times now.

445
00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:13,589
Kind of
like Ted himself.

446
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,996
Tonight it's working
for him though.

447
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:19,498
ROBIN:
How do you do this, Ted?
How do you

448
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,932
sit out here all night
on the roof in the cold

449
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:24,838
and still have faith
your pumpkin's gonna show up?

450
00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:27,511
Look, I know that odds are
the love of my life

451
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,610
isn't gonna magically walk
through that door

452
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:31,412
in a pumpkin costume at...

453
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,954
2:43 in the morning, but...

454
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:37,580
this seems as nice a spot
as any to just, you know...

455
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:40,017
sit and wait.

456
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,600
Um...

457
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,499
uh, c-can you tell Lily
I-I had to go?

458
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:54,172
I got to split.

459
00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:55,341
(sighs)

460
00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:59,510
Speaking of splits, do you think
I can do a split in midair

461
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:01,539
like my boy
David Lee Roth?

462
00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:02,444
I know you can't.

463
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:03,975
Challenge accepted.

464
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:08,515
BARNEY:
Oh, my scrotum!

465
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:11,820
(sighs)

466
00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:17,385
I can't get out
of this thing.

467
00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:18,864
I'm holding it.

468
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,031
Wait,
are you leaving?
Yeah,

469
00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:23,060
I got a big day tomorrow.
I got to get some sleep.

470
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:26,125
No, you can't leave.
This is a big moment.

471
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,465
We're saying good-bye
to the apartment.

472
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,871
The whole gang has to be here.

473
00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:32,573
The gang?

474
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:35,105
Do you know who the gang is
to me, Lily?

475
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:36,978
Here's what the gang is:

476
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,149
the gang is a married couple

477
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:42,648
who I never see anymore,
about to have their third kid;

478
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,752
it's my ex-husband,

479
00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:47,824
hitting on slutty cops
right in front of me;

480
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:51,824
and it's the guy I probably
should have ended up with

481
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,358
with the beautiful mother
of his child.

482
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:56,404
Oh...

483
00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:01,068
Oh, oh, so... so what?

484
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:02,770
This is all

485
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:04,572
just over then?

486
00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:08,014
Our whole friendship
is just over?

487
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,940
No. No, of course not.
Look, we'll...

488
00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:13,777
we'll always be friends.
It's just...

489
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:16,323
never gonna be how it was.

490
00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:18,694
It can't be.

491
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:19,948
And that doesn't

492
00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:22,286
have to be a sad thing.

493
00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:24,792
There-There's so much
wonderful stuff happening

494
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,294
in all of our
lives right now.

495
00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:29,427
Look, more than enough
to be grateful for.

496
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:33,470
But the five of us
hanging out at MacLaren's,

497
00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:36,800
being young and stupid...

498
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,736
(sighs)
that's just not one
of those things.

499
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,110
(sighs)
I got to go.

500
00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:46,254
Good night, Lily.

501
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,580
Good night.

502
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:06,596
Captioned by
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