1 00:00:06,702 --> 00:00:09,183 Previously on "Kevin Can F... Himself"...[Car horn honks] 2 00:00:09,226 --> 00:00:11,489 Kevin is going to die. Yes. 3 00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:12,708 Okay, I can do it. 4 00:00:12,751 --> 00:00:14,666 I thought we weren't gonna do this anymore. 5 00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:16,451 No, you didn't. 6 00:00:16,494 --> 00:00:19,149 You just need to broaden your horizons. 7 00:00:19,193 --> 00:00:21,064 She likes me. We can use that. 8 00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:22,259 Jesus Christ, what the hell is happening? 9 00:00:22,283 --> 00:00:23,893 [Both grunting][Spits] 10 00:00:23,936 --> 00:00:25,634 Augh! You saved my life. 11 00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:28,767 ♪ 12 00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:30,247 Allison. Oh. 13 00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:31,596 Is there a problem? No. 14 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,468 Things okay here? Oh, Jesus, Sam. 15 00:00:33,511 --> 00:00:36,036 You do it my way, or you don't get the money. 16 00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:41,606 ♪ 17 00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:43,086 Next Saturday. 18 00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,914 Next Saturday? [Scoffs] 19 00:00:44,957 --> 00:00:46,457 You know you don't need an appointment, right? 20 00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:47,917 I can have this taken care of today. 21 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,460 No. No, no, I still need a little more time 22 00:00:49,484 --> 00:00:51,877 to get a few things in order. 23 00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:54,117 Next week, I'm gonna go visit my mother in South Carolina, 24 00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:55,501 which I do every year at this time, 25 00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:56,752 so that gets me out of Dodge. 26 00:00:56,795 --> 00:00:58,145 With me gone Saturday, 27 00:00:58,188 --> 00:00:59,885 Kevin's gonna be in full bachelor mode, 28 00:00:59,929 --> 00:01:02,366 which means he's gonna be blacked out by 11:00, 29 00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:04,499 and when he's out, he is out. 30 00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:06,979 So, you know... make it look like a robbery, 31 00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:10,331 and obviously, don't actually take any of our stuff. 32 00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:13,116 Or... Okay, yeah. Take whatever you want. 33 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:14,987 Our bedroom is top of the stairs on the left, 34 00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:19,383 and I'm guessing that you know what to do after that. 35 00:01:19,427 --> 00:01:21,255 You do, right? 36 00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:23,213 Yes! Jesus! 37 00:01:23,257 --> 00:01:25,172 [Inhales sharply] 38 00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:26,434 Good. 39 00:01:29,654 --> 00:01:32,004 So, uh 40 00:01:32,048 --> 00:01:34,703 what are you gonna do after? 41 00:01:34,746 --> 00:01:37,619 I'm gonna haul ass outta your house. 42 00:01:37,662 --> 00:01:39,925 Oh, no, sorry. I mean, like, after after. 43 00:01:39,969 --> 00:01:41,188 You know? It's a lot of money. 44 00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:45,017 Do you have any... Any big plans, or... 45 00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:48,108 Getting the hell away from here the second my parole's up. 46 00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:49,370 [Sighs] 47 00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:51,981 Tell me about it. [Chuckles] 48 00:01:54,244 --> 00:01:55,245 Yeah. 49 00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:57,813 So, eh, Saturday. 50 00:01:57,856 --> 00:01:59,467 Saturday, and, um 51 00:01:59,510 --> 00:02:01,817 soon as it's done, you'll get the money. 52 00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:04,950 So, $7,000 can get you pretty far. 53 00:02:04,994 --> 00:02:07,039 Not far enough. 54 00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:10,173 [Door opens, creaks] 55 00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:12,001 [Door closes] 56 00:02:12,044 --> 00:02:13,698 Hey. Hmm? 57 00:02:13,742 --> 00:02:15,352 Customer sent this back. What? Why? 58 00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:17,224 She says it's not dairy free. 59 00:02:17,267 --> 00:02:18,877 The sauce... it's gorgonzola. 60 00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:20,575 That's cheese, you dumb-ass. 61 00:02:20,618 --> 00:02:22,098 Who gives a shit? Who... [Scoffs] 62 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,361 That's a whole new fillet I gotta make, Nicky. 63 00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:25,319 I don't have time for this. Excuse me... 64 00:02:25,362 --> 00:02:26,537 Oh! Jesus! 65 00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:27,886 I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry. 66 00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:29,845 Shit![Screams] 67 00:02:29,888 --> 00:02:31,673 Get some ice! Some ice! 68 00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:33,501 Aah! 69 00:02:33,544 --> 00:02:34,502 Greg: Nick. 70 00:02:34,545 --> 00:02:35,416 What? 71 00:02:35,459 --> 00:02:36,591 "What?" 72 00:02:36,634 --> 00:02:37,722 Christ. 73 00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:39,724 It was an accident. Yeah? 74 00:02:39,768 --> 00:02:41,117 Now I have to shut down the grill 75 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,206 till I can scrape Zack's forearm off it. 76 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,295 Go home. You can't fire me. 77 00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:47,404 They'll throw me in prison. You really gonna do that? 78 00:02:47,428 --> 00:02:49,430 Spare me, okay? That was an assault. 79 00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:52,476 As far as I'm concerned, Walpole can have you. 80 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,565 [Sighs] Just... 81 00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:56,306 Can I at least have a day? 82 00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:59,657 A day before my parole officer finds out about this? Okay? 83 00:02:59,701 --> 00:03:01,268 Do you think you're in a position 84 00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:04,445 to negotiate right now? 85 00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:06,186 Do you? 86 00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:11,147 Okay. Fine. 87 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,714 Tomorrow morning, I'm updating 88 00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:15,282 your employment status with the county. 89 00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:22,463 ♪ 90 00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:29,644 ♪ 91 00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:36,868 ♪ 92 00:03:36,912 --> 00:03:39,306 [Cellphone rings] 93 00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:42,613 ♪ 94 00:03:42,657 --> 00:03:43,832 Hey, change of plans. 95 00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:46,356 We're leaving tonight. 96 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,880 I just have one thing I need to take care of first. 97 00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:51,274 [Inhales deeply] 98 00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:53,320 [Laughter] 99 00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:55,670 [Electricity crackles] 100 00:03:55,713 --> 00:03:58,629 [High-pitched ringing] 101 00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:02,416 [Laughter intensifies] 102 00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:07,334 [Indistinct conversations in distance] 103 00:04:07,377 --> 00:04:11,512 [Siren wails in distance] 104 00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:16,560 ♪ 105 00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:21,565 ♪ 106 00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:23,350 Tammy: Allison. 107 00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:25,787 I can only imagine how traumatic tonight was, 108 00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:27,919 but we're gonna have to ask you some questions. 109 00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:29,530 Is that alright? 110 00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:35,623 Where were you tonight, just before the shooting? 111 00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:37,015 I was... [Clears throat] 112 00:04:37,059 --> 00:04:38,321 I was in bed with Kevin. 113 00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:40,323 And just for the record... 114 00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:42,543 Your relationship to Kevin McRoberts? 115 00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:45,328 ♪ 116 00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:47,635 I'm his wife. 117 00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:50,638 I'm his miserable, pathetic wife, 118 00:04:50,681 --> 00:04:53,336 and I'm so glad he's dead. 119 00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:55,251 Hey! 120 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,557 You can just go home now 121 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,012 if you're not gonna take this serious. 122 00:04:58,036 --> 00:04:59,647 Well, I am serious. 123 00:04:59,690 --> 00:05:01,388 Oh, yeah? 124 00:05:01,431 --> 00:05:03,259 You'd tell a detective that you're super glad 125 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,348 your husband has just been suspiciously murdered? 126 00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:07,698 No, of course not, but this just seems... 127 00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:09,352 It seems unnecessary. 128 00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:10,962 You love a planning phase, right? 129 00:05:11,006 --> 00:05:12,486 Well, here we are. 130 00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:14,270 Well, I'm not an idiot. 131 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,141 I have planned, okay? 132 00:05:16,185 --> 00:05:18,492 In a few days, I'm gonna go see your friend Nick... 133 00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:20,015 Not my friend. Okay. 134 00:05:20,058 --> 00:05:21,471 Well, you know what I mean. Your acquaintance... 135 00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:22,713 Not even that. 136 00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:24,846 Your best friend Nick, 137 00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:26,935 and we're gonna go through all the details, 138 00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:28,589 and then when the police investigate, 139 00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:30,678 they're gonna find what we planted as proof 140 00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:32,612 that Kevin is the drug dealer they're looking for. 141 00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:34,290 You're good. I'm good. 142 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,205 Done. 143 00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:37,598 Done? 144 00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:39,077 You realize we're not even 145 00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:42,211 at the hard part of all this, right? 146 00:05:42,254 --> 00:05:44,387 Sure. 147 00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:47,259 Once Kevin's gone, that's like the beginning. 148 00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:48,957 You can't just pick up 149 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,351 and go live out your scone-and-a-book fantasy 150 00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:53,353 the minute the funeral cold cuts are gone. 151 00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:55,616 Even when a death isn't suspicious, 152 00:05:55,659 --> 00:05:56,984 people are always looking to make sure 153 00:05:57,008 --> 00:05:58,662 you're mourning enough. 154 00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:00,490 And with this. 155 00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:02,840 [Sighs] they're gonna have a ton of questions. 156 00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:04,364 Did you know he was a drug dealer? 157 00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:06,080 Were you in on the dealing? How was the marriage? 158 00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:08,280 Did you love him? Okay! 159 00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:10,935 Just because I haven't discussed every little thing with you 160 00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:12,652 doesn't mean that I'm not taking this seriously 161 00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:14,156 or that I'm some kind of big idiot. 162 00:06:14,199 --> 00:06:16,724 Well, screwing your boss seems pretty idiotic. 163 00:06:22,207 --> 00:06:23,383 Yeah. 164 00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:25,820 I know. 165 00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:29,258 And I found out with just about zero effort. 166 00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:30,694 If I did, 167 00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:32,957 I can only guess the cops will, too. 168 00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:35,307 Do you really think that's a good move right now? 169 00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:37,614 I didn't think of it as a move. It just happened. 170 00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:41,531 Things can't "just happen." 171 00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:44,621 Everything you're doing right now is gonna be judged. 172 00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:46,014 If you're laughing at his jokes. 173 00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:47,470 What you're buying at the damn grocery store. 174 00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:48,538 It all sends a message, 175 00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:50,714 and what do you think affair says? 176 00:06:50,758 --> 00:06:52,586 It's 177 00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:54,109 bad. 178 00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:55,415 Yes. 179 00:06:57,765 --> 00:07:00,158 Listen, I... 180 00:07:00,202 --> 00:07:02,030 I know you don't want to think ahead 181 00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:03,118 'cause it makes it real. 182 00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:04,772 It's not that. No, it is. 183 00:07:04,815 --> 00:07:07,557 And I get it. 184 00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:10,647 But closing your eyes to reality doesn't change anything. 185 00:07:10,691 --> 00:07:13,433 It just makes you blind. 186 00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:17,611 So, you gotta be smarter than this. 187 00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:19,917 Smarter than having an affair right now... 188 00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:22,529 I know! 189 00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:24,879 I know. I know. I know. 190 00:07:24,922 --> 00:07:26,097 [Inhales deeply] 191 00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:28,578 [Sighs shakily] 192 00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:31,755 Hey. 193 00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:33,583 Eyes open. 194 00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:36,717 ♪ 195 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:37,979 Right? 196 00:07:38,022 --> 00:07:44,420 ♪ 197 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,987 Now 198 00:07:48,816 --> 00:07:52,341 what is your relationship to Kevin McRoberts? 199 00:07:52,384 --> 00:08:00,384 ♪ 200 00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:03,134 He was my husband, 201 00:08:03,178 --> 00:08:05,876 and I loved him more than anything. 202 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,488 Sam, I can't do this. 203 00:08:08,531 --> 00:08:09,663 Yeah, you know what? 204 00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:11,578 This isn't working for me, either. 205 00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:12,840 No, I'm serious. I'm serious. 206 00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:14,319 I... 207 00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:15,930 I've been thinking, and I need to f... 208 00:08:15,973 --> 00:08:18,802 To focus on my marriage. 209 00:08:18,846 --> 00:08:20,369 [Chuckles] Uh... 210 00:08:24,373 --> 00:08:25,766 Your marriage? 211 00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:27,004 You hate your husband. I don't. 212 00:08:27,028 --> 00:08:28,986 I don't... I don't hate him. 213 00:08:29,030 --> 00:08:30,422 I've just been... 214 00:08:30,466 --> 00:08:31,641 I've been confused. 215 00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:33,774 No, you haven't been confused. 216 00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:35,253 You've been very clear... 217 00:08:35,297 --> 00:08:37,038 You're miserable. Okay. 218 00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:38,929 Do you think telling me that I'm wrong's gonna change my mind? 219 00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:40,607 That's not how this works, okay? 220 00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,696 I-I said I'm done. I'm done. 221 00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:43,697 Okay, wait. 222 00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,350 Sam, stop. No. No. 223 00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:47,744 Not until I understand what the hell just happened here. 224 00:08:47,788 --> 00:08:50,747 Um, 30 seconds ago, we were fine. 225 00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:53,663 And now we're just what? Over? 226 00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:56,318 I told you, I love my husband, 227 00:08:56,361 --> 00:08:58,799 and I need to make it work. 228 00:08:58,842 --> 00:09:00,583 So, you're just gonna throw us away... 229 00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:02,324 For Kevin? 230 00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:04,065 "Us"? 231 00:09:04,108 --> 00:09:06,807 We're not some big love story. You're my boss. 232 00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:09,026 We have sex in a... In a... closet. 233 00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:11,420 No, you know it's more than that. 234 00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:13,901 No, we pretend that it is because we don't want 235 00:09:13,944 --> 00:09:15,380 to acknowledge the boring truth, 236 00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:17,208 which is that we're two 237 00:09:17,252 --> 00:09:18,949 tired, shitty people 238 00:09:18,993 --> 00:09:21,082 who just needed to feel something. 239 00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:25,565 Do you feel 240 00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:27,044 anything? 241 00:09:31,266 --> 00:09:33,137 Well 242 00:09:33,181 --> 00:09:36,706 thank you, I guess. 243 00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:40,057 Suddenly, I'm more than happy to never do this again, 244 00:09:40,101 --> 00:09:43,583 because you... 245 00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:46,063 I don't know when you got so 246 00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:47,761 broken. 247 00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:56,291 [Gasps] 248 00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:59,468 [Voice breaking] Oh, what the hell? 249 00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:02,689 [Inhales sharply]Wick: You okay? 250 00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:04,386 Mm-hmm. Sure. 251 00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:05,668 You know, you don't need to be brave. 252 00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:07,607 I see 15 women a day, and they all look 253 00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:08,714 the same way that you do right now. 254 00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:09,826 Mm-hmm. 255 00:10:09,870 --> 00:10:12,307 And how do I look? Nervous. 256 00:10:12,350 --> 00:10:14,190 Like you're about to find out you're defective. 257 00:10:14,222 --> 00:10:16,224 But if the bloodwork comes back okay, 258 00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:18,574 then we will find a way to make it happen. 259 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,881 It's what I'm here for. You'll get your baby. 260 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:27,888 Um, and it'll be clear that I'm here for fertility stuff, 261 00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:30,238 like on some official record? 262 00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:32,414 Hmm? My, um... 263 00:10:32,457 --> 00:10:35,112 My insurance company can be a real pain. Oh, yeah. 264 00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:37,134 The... The girls up front will get them what they need. 265 00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:39,073 Alright. Little pressure here. 266 00:10:39,116 --> 00:10:40,291 [Groans] 267 00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:42,424 So this will be your first? 268 00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:43,730 Yeah. 269 00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:46,341 And how long have you been with your partner? 270 00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:47,908 My husband. 271 00:10:47,951 --> 00:10:50,606 My wonderful husband. 272 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,696 I-I met him when I was 20, and since then, 273 00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:56,568 I feel like I've been in some kind of fever dream. 274 00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:58,005 A greatone. 275 00:10:58,048 --> 00:10:59,615 That's young. 276 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:02,052 Yeah. 277 00:11:02,096 --> 00:11:04,489 I was so nervous on my wedding day. 278 00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:07,623 I'm... I'm not good with crowds or big decisions. 279 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:08,842 [Laughs] 280 00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:11,148 I just kept... reapplying deodorant 281 00:11:11,192 --> 00:11:14,674 and wondering if I should just run for the hills. 282 00:11:14,717 --> 00:11:16,153 He saw me, uh 283 00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:17,522 pacing back and forth in the hallway, 284 00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:20,984 almost crying to Father O'Donnell. 285 00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:23,073 I'm sure it was obvious I was freaking out, 286 00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:25,162 but instead of talking to me about it 287 00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:27,687 or acknowledging it, he, uh... 288 00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:30,298 [Laughs] 289 00:11:30,341 --> 00:11:33,736 He pantsed the priest. 290 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,825 I actually laughed. 291 00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:37,348 And after that, I was fine, 292 00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:39,742 because I-I really believed that he would... 293 00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:42,266 You know, he would do anything for me. 294 00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:45,226 Just keep... pantsing priests 295 00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:48,533 and making me laugh for the rest of our lives. 296 00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:50,797 I haven't thought about that in years. 297 00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:54,777 Well, it's a good thing you didn't wait 298 00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:56,628 another 15 years to start trying. 299 00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:59,675 Nobody's getting any younger. 300 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,633 [Sobs] 301 00:12:01,677 --> 00:12:03,070 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean... 302 00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:04,854 No, I'm fine. 303 00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:07,378 I'm fine. I'm not usually a... 304 00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:10,425 I'm not usually emotional, so I'm fine. 305 00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:14,385 I'll be fine. 306 00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,261 Thank you. 307 00:12:20,304 --> 00:12:22,654 Uh, will there be a record of my visit. 308 00:12:22,698 --> 00:12:24,569 Just my, uh... My insurance company... 309 00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:26,006 You bet. 310 00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:28,922 [Telephone rings in distance] 311 00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:30,053 'Kay. 312 00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:35,450 [Sighing] Mm. 313 00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:37,408 Ah! 314 00:12:39,497 --> 00:12:41,238 [Chuckles] 315 00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:44,198 [Clears throat loudly] 316 00:12:50,117 --> 00:12:51,945 Oh! Oh. 317 00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:54,382 [Chuckles] 318 00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:56,210 Sorry. 319 00:12:56,253 --> 00:12:57,864 Classic Allison. 320 00:12:57,907 --> 00:13:04,044 ♪ 321 00:13:04,087 --> 00:13:06,220 [Telephone rings in distance] 322 00:13:06,263 --> 00:13:08,048 Well, 323 00:13:08,091 --> 00:13:10,267 so cute. 324 00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:12,313 Can't wait to show my husband when I get home. 325 00:13:12,356 --> 00:13:17,884 ♪ 326 00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:20,408 [Sobs] 327 00:13:20,451 --> 00:13:22,976 Damn it! 328 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:31,027 ♪ 329 00:13:31,071 --> 00:13:32,507 Tammy: Can you tell me what happened 330 00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:35,858 immediately after you heard the gunshot? 331 00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,729 Um... 332 00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:40,515 I don't know. 333 00:13:40,558 --> 00:13:43,213 There was screaming. 334 00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:44,475 And 335 00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:46,564 our neighbor called. 336 00:13:46,608 --> 00:13:47,739 Patty. 337 00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:49,176 Well, you know Patty. 338 00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:53,180 ♪ 339 00:13:53,223 --> 00:13:56,705 Patty's full name, please? 340 00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:58,402 Um, sure. 341 00:13:58,446 --> 00:14:01,928 Um, Patricia Deirdre O'Connor. 342 00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:04,539 [Classical music plays] 343 00:14:08,325 --> 00:14:10,588 Oh, hell. 344 00:14:10,632 --> 00:14:12,460 You need some help? 345 00:14:12,503 --> 00:14:13,896 No. No. 346 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,419 I'm fine. 347 00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:17,813 This is great. It's a great date. 348 00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:21,382 Ahh! 349 00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:23,819 Wow. You hate this. 350 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,429 No. 351 00:14:25,473 --> 00:14:26,996 I... Thank God. 352 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,780 Me, too. 353 00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:31,218 I thought this was gonna be soothing or something. 354 00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:33,568 It's not. 355 00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:36,353 Want to just get drunk off their wedding wine? 356 00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:40,923 Yes, please. 357 00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:42,707 Ooh. 358 00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:47,234 I love your brush strokes here. Very evocative. 359 00:14:47,277 --> 00:14:49,323 Oh, yeah? Absolutely. 360 00:14:49,366 --> 00:14:52,326 I can feel your anger at the sunset. 361 00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:54,415 It's a commentary on the passage of time. 362 00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:57,461 Of course. Where you gonna put it? 363 00:14:57,505 --> 00:14:59,289 Somewhere really special. 364 00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:01,683 [Cellphone vibrates] 365 00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:03,119 [Laughs] 366 00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:04,294 Sorry. 367 00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:06,209 This is rude. 368 00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:09,169 But work is intense. 369 00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:11,519 Anything interesting? 370 00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:13,738 Maybe. 371 00:15:13,782 --> 00:15:15,566 Come on. 372 00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:17,438 Liven up the life of a hairdresser, please. 373 00:15:17,481 --> 00:15:20,354 [Scoffs] I'm not sure how exciting it is. 374 00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:22,051 We picked up this little old lady 375 00:15:22,095 --> 00:15:24,967 for a forged prescription across town at Melba's. 376 00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:26,969 Like, a 98-year-old telling me and Bram 377 00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:28,971 to screw off. [Chuckles] 378 00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:30,842 But I'm pretty sure she was being supplied 379 00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:34,368 by this dealer we're after, so... 380 00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:35,586 Done. 381 00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:37,545 All yours again. 382 00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:43,681 Um 383 00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:45,509 My brother might be in there. 384 00:15:45,553 --> 00:15:47,250 He uses my oven a lot. 385 00:15:47,294 --> 00:15:48,991 I've met Neil. 386 00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:51,230 I don't think you have to worry about him deducing anything. 387 00:15:51,254 --> 00:15:52,299 Yeah. 388 00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:56,021 But it's not just Neil you're worried about. 389 00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:00,481 This has all just happened kinda fast, 390 00:16:00,524 --> 00:16:02,613 and I haven't been able to get my head around it. 391 00:16:02,657 --> 00:16:05,138 What's to get your head around? 392 00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:06,748 We like each other. 393 00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:08,837 Yeah. 394 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,100 And that's new for me. 395 00:16:11,144 --> 00:16:13,973 Is it? Come on. 396 00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:15,080 You're telling me I'm the first woman 397 00:16:15,104 --> 00:16:17,802 you've ever had feelings for? 398 00:16:17,846 --> 00:16:19,848 I... 399 00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:22,329 guess so. 400 00:16:22,372 --> 00:16:23,547 Yeah. Yes. 401 00:16:23,591 --> 00:16:25,158 You didn't grow up looking twice 402 00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:27,856 at the Morton's Salt Girl or Jo from "Facts of Life"? 403 00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:30,380 What? No. 404 00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:33,079 Are you much older than me? 405 00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:34,602 What about your "nosy ass neighbor" 406 00:16:34,645 --> 00:16:36,865 from the bar the other night? 407 00:16:36,908 --> 00:16:39,085 Okay. Now you don't know what you're talking about, 408 00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:40,564 so you should just stop. 409 00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:42,175 I'm not trying to piss you off. 410 00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:43,848 I'm just trying to show you that it's not a big deal. 411 00:16:43,872 --> 00:16:46,048 Maybe it is. 412 00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:48,355 I have cable, okay? 413 00:16:48,398 --> 00:16:52,402 I know we're all fine with everything now, 414 00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:55,318 but maybe if you're 33 and still figuring things out, 415 00:16:55,362 --> 00:16:57,712 it's 416 00:16:57,755 --> 00:17:01,237 it's embarrassing. 417 00:17:01,281 --> 00:17:05,067 Can you please just let it be hard? 418 00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:07,026 Can't that be okay? 419 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:12,422 If it's the right person... If I'mthe right person... 420 00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:15,338 I think it's supposed to be easy. 421 00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:17,055 And you'd probably kiss me before you had a chance 422 00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:20,561 to think about who might see. 423 00:17:20,604 --> 00:17:26,132 ♪ 424 00:17:26,175 --> 00:17:31,659 ♪ 425 00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:32,921 [Sighs] 426 00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:37,186 ♪ 427 00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:38,709 [Laughter][Camera shutter clicks] 428 00:17:38,753 --> 00:17:41,190 No, I think, uh, the slashing windmill's 429 00:17:41,234 --> 00:17:42,844 a better look on me, Neil. 430 00:17:42,887 --> 00:17:44,759 [Camera shutter clicks] 431 00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:46,239 Fine. 432 00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:47,477 But I get to stick my tongue out. 433 00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:49,285 It's very muscular. 434 00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:52,158 [Laughter] 435 00:17:52,201 --> 00:17:55,030 Shouldn't you have gotten this out of your system at Halloween? 436 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,727 Kev and I are starting a band. 437 00:17:56,771 --> 00:17:58,140 Shouldn't you have gotten that out of your system 438 00:17:58,164 --> 00:18:00,035 in middle school? 439 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,777 It is never too late to fulfill your destiny. 440 00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:04,170 I just found out last night 441 00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:08,087 that I'm supposed to be a rock star. 442 00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:11,046 Kev did karaoke at Sully's and killed it. 443 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,701 I always knew I was destined to be famous. 444 00:18:13,744 --> 00:18:16,138 I just never thought it'd be for singing. 445 00:18:16,182 --> 00:18:18,880 Yeah, I assumed it'd be some sort of testicle-bashing video. 446 00:18:18,923 --> 00:18:20,751 Same. 447 00:18:20,795 --> 00:18:23,624 I mean, singing is [Chuckles] pretty soft, you know? 448 00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:26,366 Yeah. Thanks, Josh Groban. 449 00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:29,586 But last night, with the crowd eating it up, 450 00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:31,675 I just figured, if it leads to fame and fortune, 451 00:18:31,719 --> 00:18:33,503 it can't be that soft. 452 00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,157 And that's when it dawned on me. 453 00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:38,291 ♪ Jenny McCarthy Tank Top ♪ 454 00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:42,077 Is that... What is that? 455 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,687 It's our band name. Yeah. 456 00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:46,299 Jenny McCarthy Tank Top? 457 00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:48,605 It's brilliant. We'll save a bundle on marketing. 458 00:18:48,649 --> 00:18:50,477 Yeah, everyone I know already Googles. 459 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:53,044 "Jenny McCarthy Tank Top" constantly. 460 00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:55,308 Now our sound will pop up 461 00:18:55,351 --> 00:18:57,614 right next to the blonde in the half shirt. 462 00:18:57,658 --> 00:19:01,966 It was either that or... ♪ Fassbender's Hog! 463 00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:05,056 No day jobs. No responsibilities. 464 00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,972 Just the music and the open road. 465 00:19:08,016 --> 00:19:09,452 And let me guess. 466 00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:12,238 I'm on tambourine. 467 00:19:12,281 --> 00:19:13,456 Uh, oh. 468 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,589 Well... Uh 469 00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:19,245 we didn't exactly, uh, factor you in. 470 00:19:19,288 --> 00:19:20,898 Yeah. 471 00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:23,901 Well, uh, what do you know about driving a tour bus? 472 00:19:23,945 --> 00:19:25,381 Or... Or... Or picking out 473 00:19:25,425 --> 00:19:27,775 only green MandM's from bags of other MandM's? 474 00:19:27,818 --> 00:19:30,473 Hey, hey, hey. Hold up. 475 00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:32,171 Band meeting. 476 00:19:34,782 --> 00:19:36,087 Ugh! [Sighs] 477 00:19:36,131 --> 00:19:37,524 We cannot have a girl 478 00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:40,091 in a band named Jenny McCarthy Tank Top. 479 00:19:40,135 --> 00:19:42,920 I guess that would be pretty weird. 480 00:19:42,964 --> 00:19:45,401 Unless it's Jenny McCarthy. 481 00:19:45,445 --> 00:19:47,098 [Laughter] 482 00:19:47,142 --> 00:19:48,491 So we're agreed then? 483 00:19:48,535 --> 00:19:50,232 We put the kibosh on chicks in the bank 484 00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:51,842 who aren't Jenny McCarthy? 485 00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:53,279 Even a half-chick like Patty? 486 00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:56,020 Ugh. 487 00:19:56,064 --> 00:19:59,198 Men: ♪ Jenny McCarthy Tank Top 488 00:20:02,592 --> 00:20:03,811 [Note plays] 489 00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:05,421 I'm sorry, man, 490 00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:07,945 but there's just no room for you in Jenny McCarthy... 491 00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:09,469 ♪ Tank Top ♪ Top 492 00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:11,297 And what about Allison? 493 00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:13,168 She's in the bathroom getting all dolled up 494 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,256 to be a groupie. 495 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:15,823 Oh, you know, 496 00:20:15,866 --> 00:20:17,651 I'd say you could be a groupie, too, Patty, 497 00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:20,088 but you obviously can't be with Neil, so 498 00:20:20,131 --> 00:20:21,959 you'd have to be Pete's. 499 00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:24,005 Too clingy. 500 00:20:24,048 --> 00:20:29,445 ♪ 501 00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:37,489 [Knocks on door] 502 00:20:37,758 --> 00:20:39,325 Allison? 503 00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:40,587 Patty? 504 00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:41,892 Yes. 505 00:20:41,936 --> 00:20:44,504 Obviously. 506 00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:46,854 What're you doing in here? 507 00:20:46,897 --> 00:20:48,551 I'm... 508 00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:52,294 [Sniffles] 509 00:20:52,338 --> 00:20:54,340 Jesus, what the hell happened to you? 510 00:20:54,383 --> 00:20:56,429 Nothing. 511 00:20:56,472 --> 00:20:58,257 Uh 512 00:20:58,300 --> 00:20:59,432 You sure? 513 00:20:59,475 --> 00:21:00,737 Yeah. I'm fine. 514 00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:02,826 [Sobbing] 515 00:21:02,870 --> 00:21:04,698 You're sobbing. No, I'm not. 516 00:21:04,741 --> 00:21:07,527 I'm not. 517 00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:09,529 Last time I cried was, like, 10 years ago, 518 00:21:09,572 --> 00:21:11,531 and even then, it was 'cause I saw a dog 519 00:21:11,574 --> 00:21:14,185 get hit by a car outside the package store. 520 00:21:14,229 --> 00:21:16,971 What, am I made of stone? 521 00:21:17,014 --> 00:21:19,495 Even Uncle Chuck pretended to have allergies that day, okay? 522 00:21:19,539 --> 00:21:20,757 [Sobs] 523 00:21:20,801 --> 00:21:22,846 Ugh. Shut up. 524 00:21:22,890 --> 00:21:24,674 [Sighs deeply] 525 00:21:24,718 --> 00:21:26,415 It's been happening all week. 526 00:21:26,459 --> 00:21:27,808 It's like a physical thing. 527 00:21:27,851 --> 00:21:32,073 I can't help it. It's like a... a sneeze. 528 00:21:32,116 --> 00:21:33,814 Yeah. 529 00:21:33,857 --> 00:21:36,382 I like to get drunk alone in the tub to sneeze, too. 530 00:21:36,425 --> 00:21:39,428 I should just get used to it, right? 531 00:21:39,472 --> 00:21:40,995 "Drunk and alone" is a nice snapshot 532 00:21:41,038 --> 00:21:42,475 of the rest of my life. 533 00:21:42,518 --> 00:21:45,347 Come on. No, you come on! 534 00:21:45,391 --> 00:21:47,741 I've done some shit, Patty. 535 00:21:47,784 --> 00:21:50,874 I'm like a monster now. I-I hurt people. 536 00:21:50,918 --> 00:21:52,876 I lied to a police officer. 537 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,749 You think that's the worst thing you've done? 538 00:21:55,792 --> 00:21:57,577 I just risked everything 539 00:21:57,620 --> 00:21:59,535 so that afterwards, when it's done, 540 00:21:59,579 --> 00:22:01,929 I get to die alone. Jesus. 541 00:22:01,972 --> 00:22:04,540 And I'm basically all dried up down there, 542 00:22:04,584 --> 00:22:07,761 so I can't even have kids to guilt into loving me. 543 00:22:07,804 --> 00:22:09,676 What? 544 00:22:09,719 --> 00:22:12,722 Do you even want kids? 545 00:22:12,766 --> 00:22:14,724 [Sighs] Of course. 546 00:22:14,768 --> 00:22:17,988 That's what you do. 547 00:22:18,032 --> 00:22:21,078 I just don't want Kevin's. 548 00:22:21,122 --> 00:22:22,341 No. [Snaps fingers] 549 00:22:22,384 --> 00:22:23,559 Hey. 550 00:22:23,603 --> 00:22:25,169 Gimme that. 551 00:22:27,041 --> 00:22:28,999 [Sighs] 552 00:22:33,743 --> 00:22:36,355 I'm broken. 553 00:22:36,398 --> 00:22:37,921 And before all this, 554 00:22:37,965 --> 00:22:39,967 you were the picture of perfection? 555 00:22:40,010 --> 00:22:41,185 Please. 556 00:22:41,229 --> 00:22:42,404 [Scoffs] 557 00:22:42,448 --> 00:22:44,972 Thank you. 558 00:22:45,015 --> 00:22:47,627 No, I... 559 00:22:47,670 --> 00:22:51,544 I mean, I couldn't stand being around you before. 560 00:22:51,587 --> 00:22:54,024 You had the presence of, like, a pointy houseplant. 561 00:22:54,068 --> 00:22:56,157 But a naggy one. A naggy ficus. 562 00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,028 Is this you being nice? 563 00:22:58,072 --> 00:23:00,683 I mean, I came up here looking for you 564 00:23:00,727 --> 00:23:02,206 not because things were going to shit 565 00:23:02,250 --> 00:23:05,209 and I had to talk to you, but because I wanted to. 566 00:23:08,778 --> 00:23:11,651 I'm just... I'm saying 567 00:23:11,694 --> 00:23:14,044 if this is you broken... 568 00:23:16,656 --> 00:23:19,528 If this is you broken 569 00:23:19,572 --> 00:23:21,269 stay broken. 570 00:23:27,536 --> 00:23:28,668 Come on. 571 00:23:28,711 --> 00:23:29,669 What? 572 00:23:29,712 --> 00:23:32,367 Come on. 573 00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:34,500 In there? Mm-hmm. 574 00:23:37,459 --> 00:23:39,983 [Laughs] Oh! 575 00:23:40,027 --> 00:23:41,245 Shut up. 576 00:23:41,289 --> 00:23:44,727 [Chuckles] 577 00:23:44,771 --> 00:23:46,425 Hey. 578 00:23:50,037 --> 00:23:53,214 I like talking to you, too. 579 00:23:53,257 --> 00:23:59,873 ♪ Ohhh, oh-h-h 580 00:23:59,916 --> 00:24:02,745 So maybe we can die alone together. 581 00:24:02,789 --> 00:24:08,751 ♪ Oh, my love 582 00:24:08,795 --> 00:24:13,930 ♪ Oh, my love 583 00:24:13,974 --> 00:24:16,890 ♪ My darling 584 00:24:16,933 --> 00:24:22,330 ♪ I've hungered for your touch 585 00:24:22,373 --> 00:24:30,251 ♪ A long, lonely time 586 00:24:30,294 --> 00:24:32,775 You are the right person. 587 00:24:32,819 --> 00:24:34,821 You. 588 00:24:34,864 --> 00:24:36,431 Okay? 589 00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:38,912 ♪ Ooh, my love 590 00:24:38,955 --> 00:24:41,131 Okay. 591 00:24:41,175 --> 00:24:47,050 ♪ Ooh, my love 592 00:24:47,094 --> 00:24:51,925 ♪ My love 593 00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,200 Bob: Is there anyone you can think of who's been in conflict 594 00:24:56,233 --> 00:24:57,496 with your husband lately? 595 00:24:57,539 --> 00:25:00,107 Anyone who... might want to hurt him? 596 00:25:00,150 --> 00:25:03,806 [Sighs] I don't... Everybody loves Kevin. 597 00:25:03,850 --> 00:25:07,593 Was there an argument earlier in the day 598 00:25:07,636 --> 00:25:08,855 with a friend of his? 599 00:25:08,898 --> 00:25:10,378 Uh, Neil? 600 00:25:10,421 --> 00:25:12,269 He and the intruder were on the same hockey team 601 00:25:12,293 --> 00:25:15,426 together at Burncoat. 602 00:25:15,470 --> 00:25:17,167 I mean, maybe. 603 00:25:19,518 --> 00:25:21,302 No, K... 604 00:25:21,345 --> 00:25:23,130 Neil's not capable of something like this. 605 00:25:23,173 --> 00:25:24,716 You'd be surprised how dark people can be 606 00:25:24,740 --> 00:25:26,699 beneath the surface. 607 00:25:26,742 --> 00:25:29,005 Oh, no. I don't mean capable like that. 608 00:25:29,049 --> 00:25:32,008 I mean, um... 609 00:25:32,052 --> 00:25:34,533 You know, the guy who jumps off a bridge 610 00:25:34,576 --> 00:25:36,447 'cause all of his friends are doing it? 611 00:25:36,491 --> 00:25:38,275 That's not Neil. 612 00:25:38,319 --> 00:25:41,452 Neil's the guy who offers to jump in first to see 613 00:25:41,496 --> 00:25:43,150 if the water's too cold. 614 00:25:43,193 --> 00:25:48,982 ♪ 615 00:25:49,025 --> 00:25:50,636 The heck? 616 00:25:50,679 --> 00:25:53,203 Who's throws something like this away? 617 00:25:53,247 --> 00:25:56,206 Future album cover art for Jenny McCarthy Tank Top? 618 00:25:56,250 --> 00:25:58,469 Uh, yes, please! 619 00:25:58,513 --> 00:26:01,647 [Laughter] 620 00:26:01,690 --> 00:26:03,300 [Gasps] 621 00:26:03,344 --> 00:26:07,087 [Laughter] 622 00:26:07,130 --> 00:26:08,610 No, please. 623 00:26:08,654 --> 00:26:10,481 Come on in. 624 00:26:10,525 --> 00:26:12,788 Good morning, Neil. 625 00:26:12,832 --> 00:26:14,137 Neil? 626 00:26:14,181 --> 00:26:15,356 Good morning? 627 00:26:15,399 --> 00:26:18,098 Oh, hi. So... I didn't see you. 628 00:26:18,141 --> 00:26:20,187 And your cop friend. 629 00:26:20,230 --> 00:26:22,189 S-Sorry. 630 00:26:22,232 --> 00:26:25,105 At ease. 631 00:26:25,148 --> 00:26:26,517 It's actually great that you're here. 632 00:26:26,541 --> 00:26:27,901 Can I get your advise on something? 633 00:26:27,934 --> 00:26:28,848 Move. No! 634 00:26:28,891 --> 00:26:30,153 Leave her alone, Neil! 635 00:26:30,197 --> 00:26:32,634 No, it's okay. What you got? 636 00:26:32,678 --> 00:26:34,070 Well, let's just say 637 00:26:34,114 --> 00:26:35,787 you had some evidence that your co-lead singer 638 00:26:35,811 --> 00:26:37,615 and co-lead guitarist was doing something sneaky 639 00:26:37,639 --> 00:26:39,225 that could break up Jenny McCarthy Tank Top 640 00:26:39,249 --> 00:26:40,990 before it even started? 641 00:26:41,034 --> 00:26:43,906 I'm really not following, Neil. 642 00:26:43,950 --> 00:26:46,779 I found these in the trash outside. 643 00:26:46,822 --> 00:26:49,912 They're forms and pamphlets from a baby making clinic. 644 00:26:49,956 --> 00:26:52,132 Pamphlets with babies on them. 645 00:26:52,175 --> 00:26:54,874 Forms with Allison on them. 646 00:26:54,917 --> 00:26:56,223 You know what this means? 647 00:26:56,266 --> 00:26:57,679 That's it's very personal information, 648 00:26:57,703 --> 00:27:01,228 and you should stay out of other people's marriages? 649 00:27:01,271 --> 00:27:04,274 No, it means that Kevin's been lying to me. 650 00:27:04,318 --> 00:27:06,146 So you want to do an interrogation? 651 00:27:06,189 --> 00:27:07,756 Exactly. Teach me how. 652 00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:11,151 No, Tammy's off duty. Leave her alone! 653 00:27:11,194 --> 00:27:12,631 It's okay, Patty. 654 00:27:12,674 --> 00:27:15,721 I don't mind sharing a little of my expertise. 655 00:27:15,764 --> 00:27:17,026 Great. 656 00:27:17,070 --> 00:27:18,288 So I was thinking we get him, 657 00:27:18,332 --> 00:27:19,768 and I tie him down to a chair, 658 00:27:19,812 --> 00:27:24,033 and then I shine a light in his eyes, real dramatic-like. 659 00:27:24,077 --> 00:27:26,732 Well, that's illegal. 660 00:27:26,775 --> 00:27:28,690 But what we usually do is make the perp think 661 00:27:28,734 --> 00:27:30,474 we have more evidence than we do. 662 00:27:30,518 --> 00:27:33,956 By shining a light in his eyes, real dramatic-like? 663 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:35,479 Not exactly. 664 00:27:35,523 --> 00:27:37,022 First, we start with a couple baseline questions 665 00:27:37,046 --> 00:27:38,700 that have nothing to do with the crime 666 00:27:38,744 --> 00:27:41,050 so we can establish a good relationship. 667 00:27:41,094 --> 00:27:44,793 "Questions for good relationship." 668 00:27:44,837 --> 00:27:47,535 Then you should stay quiet as much as you can. 669 00:27:47,578 --> 00:27:49,450 Stay quiet, as in, "Don't ask him anything 670 00:27:49,493 --> 00:27:53,062 because it's none of your business." 671 00:27:53,106 --> 00:27:55,499 As in... let the perp talk. 672 00:27:55,543 --> 00:27:57,216 And if I have a photo or a piece of evidence 673 00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,503 that I think might take him by surprise, 674 00:27:59,547 --> 00:28:01,592 I slide it across the table. 675 00:28:01,636 --> 00:28:04,073 Real... dramatic-like? 676 00:28:04,117 --> 00:28:06,206 Real dramatic-like. 677 00:28:08,382 --> 00:28:09,775 Then I watch their face. 678 00:28:09,818 --> 00:28:11,646 You're looking for signs of recognition. 679 00:28:11,690 --> 00:28:13,561 What if this guy's a real mastermind? 680 00:28:13,604 --> 00:28:16,259 I mean, he once snuck booze into Gillette Stadium 681 00:28:16,303 --> 00:28:18,522 in a fake fat stomach 682 00:28:18,566 --> 00:28:22,135 over his real fat stomach. 683 00:28:22,178 --> 00:28:24,311 What if he outsmarts me, and I can't tell? 684 00:28:24,354 --> 00:28:26,008 Well, then my partner and I 685 00:28:26,052 --> 00:28:28,707 would do a little good cop/bad cop. 686 00:28:28,750 --> 00:28:31,231 Oh! That's good. 687 00:28:31,274 --> 00:28:33,886 "Good cop/bad cop". 688 00:28:33,929 --> 00:28:36,932 Man, you are way funner than Allison to have around. 689 00:28:36,976 --> 00:28:38,194 Thanks for your help. 690 00:28:38,238 --> 00:28:39,630 Happy interrogating. 691 00:28:39,674 --> 00:28:41,023 Is there any other kind? 692 00:28:41,067 --> 00:28:42,590 No! Stop. 693 00:28:42,633 --> 00:28:45,811 You can't go getting into other people's business. 694 00:28:45,854 --> 00:28:47,638 Fine. 695 00:28:47,682 --> 00:28:51,251 [Laughter] 696 00:28:53,383 --> 00:28:55,211 Kevin. 697 00:28:55,255 --> 00:28:57,083 Interesting to find you here. 698 00:28:57,126 --> 00:28:58,824 Uh, yeah. 699 00:28:58,867 --> 00:29:00,826 Hey, how's your guitar coming? 700 00:29:00,869 --> 00:29:02,653 'Cause I've been thinking, it might be cooler 701 00:29:02,697 --> 00:29:04,786 if I just sing and hold the guitar 702 00:29:04,830 --> 00:29:07,571 and you play for both of us. 703 00:29:07,615 --> 00:29:09,922 Hey, Kev, I got a couple of questions. 704 00:29:09,965 --> 00:29:11,706 Okay. 705 00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:15,623 How many beans do you think are in a standard Bush's can? 706 00:29:15,666 --> 00:29:17,712 I don't know. Great. 707 00:29:17,756 --> 00:29:20,149 What a fun relationship we've established. 708 00:29:20,193 --> 00:29:22,064 [Chuckling] Are you okay? 709 00:29:22,108 --> 00:29:23,849 Did you try to put on a fake mustache 710 00:29:23,892 --> 00:29:26,503 with airplane glue again? 711 00:29:26,547 --> 00:29:30,507 Kev, listen, I'm on your team here. 712 00:29:30,551 --> 00:29:32,988 So why don't you tell me what you need to tell me? 713 00:29:33,032 --> 00:29:34,424 Uh, o-okay. 714 00:29:34,468 --> 00:29:36,252 Uh, I was gonna wait until Pete got back, 715 00:29:36,296 --> 00:29:38,428 but I guess I can tell you now. 716 00:29:38,472 --> 00:29:39,821 I booked us a gig for the band. 717 00:29:39,865 --> 00:29:41,344 Wait, no way. 718 00:29:41,388 --> 00:29:42,911 Really? That's wicked awesome. 719 00:29:42,955 --> 00:29:45,435 Hey, I got some art we can use for the poster and... 720 00:29:45,479 --> 00:29:47,002 Mnm, no. No. 721 00:29:47,046 --> 00:29:48,308 That's... That's not it. 722 00:29:48,351 --> 00:29:49,657 Huh? 723 00:29:51,833 --> 00:29:54,531 Kev, listen, 724 00:29:54,575 --> 00:29:56,664 I'm your friend here, okay? 725 00:29:56,707 --> 00:29:58,579 You can come clean, 726 00:29:58,622 --> 00:30:00,668 because I'm being nice. 727 00:30:02,322 --> 00:30:05,412 [Groans] 728 00:30:05,455 --> 00:30:08,154 What... 729 00:30:08,197 --> 00:30:09,895 What is this? What are these notes? 730 00:30:09,938 --> 00:30:11,984 It says "Good Cod Bad Cod." 731 00:30:12,027 --> 00:30:13,637 Are these babies? 732 00:30:13,681 --> 00:30:16,553 Oh, so that's how you wanna play it, huh?! 733 00:30:16,597 --> 00:30:19,556 I know you're trying to start a family without me, Kevin! 734 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:21,907 Have you even thought about what this'll do to the band?! 735 00:30:21,950 --> 00:30:23,865 You may as well have named the baby Yoko! 736 00:30:23,909 --> 00:30:26,128 Aah! 737 00:30:26,172 --> 00:30:28,217 This is... 738 00:30:28,261 --> 00:30:30,045 Wait, is... 739 00:30:30,089 --> 00:30:32,178 Allison? Oh, yeah, yeah. 740 00:30:32,221 --> 00:30:34,310 Sure, you didn't know about any of this. 741 00:30:34,354 --> 00:30:36,791 Of course not. 742 00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:38,184 Oh. 743 00:30:38,227 --> 00:30:39,707 I never want babies. 744 00:30:39,750 --> 00:30:41,032 They get to sleep whenever they want, 745 00:30:41,056 --> 00:30:42,449 and I think that's unfair. 746 00:30:42,492 --> 00:30:43,972 Th... That's what I thought. 747 00:30:44,016 --> 00:30:47,236 Well, then I've made a huge mistake, huh? 748 00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:48,759 No, Neil, it's, uh... 749 00:30:48,803 --> 00:30:51,197 It's good you brought this to me. 750 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:53,982 Why would Allison go to the vaginacologist without you? 751 00:30:56,071 --> 00:30:58,160 Why indeed, Neil. 752 00:30:58,204 --> 00:31:01,729 Why, indeed. 753 00:31:01,772 --> 00:31:04,253 Don't take that sleuthing hat off just yet. 754 00:31:04,297 --> 00:31:06,429 We've got a case to crack. 755 00:31:06,473 --> 00:31:08,562 The music will have to wait! 756 00:31:10,694 --> 00:31:12,218 That's a solidly built guitar. 757 00:31:12,261 --> 00:31:13,741 Let's go! 758 00:31:13,784 --> 00:31:15,525 [Laughter] 759 00:31:18,224 --> 00:31:19,965 Bob: Allison. 760 00:31:20,008 --> 00:31:21,594 I'm gonna need you to walk us through today, 761 00:31:21,618 --> 00:31:22,968 before the shooting. 762 00:31:23,011 --> 00:31:24,621 Tammy: I know it's hard, 763 00:31:24,665 --> 00:31:26,014 but really, I'm your friend here. 764 00:31:26,058 --> 00:31:28,103 We're almost done. 765 00:31:28,147 --> 00:31:31,411 Did you notice anything outside of your usual routine? 766 00:31:31,454 --> 00:31:33,804 No. 767 00:31:33,848 --> 00:31:37,983 I woke up. I-I went to work at the diner... Bev's. 768 00:31:38,026 --> 00:31:42,422 And, yeah, there was nothing unusual there. 769 00:31:45,468 --> 00:31:47,557 Just, uh, let me know if I can get you anything else. 770 00:31:47,601 --> 00:31:50,256 Yeah. We ordered two coffees. 771 00:31:50,299 --> 00:31:51,910 Of course. Okay. 772 00:31:51,953 --> 00:31:53,520 Yeah. One sec. 773 00:31:53,563 --> 00:31:55,043 [Groans] 774 00:31:57,524 --> 00:31:59,961 Um, two coffees, when you have a sec. 775 00:32:00,005 --> 00:32:02,094 Whatever you want. 776 00:32:11,059 --> 00:32:12,931 [Sighs] 777 00:32:12,974 --> 00:32:15,585 You okay? 778 00:32:15,629 --> 00:32:17,544 I'm fine. 779 00:32:20,677 --> 00:32:21,940 Hey, wait. 780 00:32:26,596 --> 00:32:28,139 I know it's been a hard week for both of us, 781 00:32:28,163 --> 00:32:29,425 but, um 782 00:32:29,469 --> 00:32:31,775 we can still talk, you know? 783 00:32:31,819 --> 00:32:33,647 And if you're in a bad place, then... 784 00:32:33,690 --> 00:32:36,215 Hmm? 785 00:32:36,258 --> 00:32:38,391 I just don't like the idea of you drinking alone. 786 00:32:38,434 --> 00:32:40,001 I've tried to find answers 787 00:32:40,045 --> 00:32:41,413 in the bottom of a rocks glass, too, 788 00:32:41,437 --> 00:32:42,762 and I can tell you, it doesn't work. 789 00:32:42,786 --> 00:32:44,745 I-I wasn't... I wasn't drinking alone. 790 00:32:44,788 --> 00:32:48,053 I had some wine with a friend last night. 791 00:32:48,096 --> 00:32:49,532 Oh. 792 00:32:49,576 --> 00:32:52,144 I'm not, like, drowning my sorrows. 793 00:32:52,187 --> 00:32:53,319 Of course. 794 00:32:53,362 --> 00:32:54,320 I am fine. 795 00:32:54,363 --> 00:32:56,148 I'm, uh 796 00:32:56,191 --> 00:32:58,237 happy, even. 797 00:32:58,280 --> 00:32:59,586 Great. 798 00:32:59,629 --> 00:33:01,414 Yeah. 799 00:33:01,457 --> 00:33:02,981 Me, too. 800 00:33:05,635 --> 00:33:06,854 Okay. 801 00:33:06,897 --> 00:33:08,464 'Kay. 802 00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:22,304 [Car alarm beeps] 803 00:33:22,348 --> 00:33:24,524 [Sighs] 804 00:33:26,700 --> 00:33:29,877 [Door closes] 805 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:30,920 Hey. 806 00:33:32,836 --> 00:33:35,883 We were going to wait, but Mom was hungry. 807 00:33:35,926 --> 00:33:38,146 But we understand. 808 00:33:38,190 --> 00:33:40,148 You're busy at your little cafe. 809 00:33:45,197 --> 00:33:47,373 [Sighs] 810 00:34:00,864 --> 00:34:03,954 What? 811 00:34:03,998 --> 00:34:05,347 What "what?" 812 00:34:05,391 --> 00:34:06,957 You're moping. 813 00:34:07,001 --> 00:34:09,438 I'm just... 814 00:34:09,482 --> 00:34:11,571 I'm sorry I was late. 815 00:34:11,614 --> 00:34:14,095 Well, [Sighs] they were just giving me a hard time 816 00:34:14,139 --> 00:34:16,315 about the reno before you got here. 817 00:34:16,358 --> 00:34:17,707 Sorry. 818 00:34:17,751 --> 00:34:20,536 I should've been here to back you up. 819 00:34:20,580 --> 00:34:22,147 It's okay. 820 00:34:22,190 --> 00:34:23,235 [Sighs] 821 00:34:23,278 --> 00:34:25,150 Should've expected it. 822 00:34:25,193 --> 00:34:26,649 I mean, they always need something to pick at 823 00:34:26,673 --> 00:34:28,457 that isn't their marriage. 824 00:34:28,501 --> 00:34:30,155 Why get divorced if you can just 825 00:34:30,198 --> 00:34:34,289 throw money at projects to distract yourself? 826 00:34:34,333 --> 00:34:35,247 You think they should've? 827 00:34:35,290 --> 00:34:36,552 Uh, yeah. 828 00:34:36,596 --> 00:34:38,206 A long time ago. 829 00:34:38,250 --> 00:34:40,426 Instead of taking their hatred for each other out 830 00:34:40,469 --> 00:34:41,992 on everybody else. 831 00:34:42,036 --> 00:34:44,125 [Laughs] God, yes. 832 00:34:44,169 --> 00:34:46,040 You know, sometimes, 833 00:34:46,084 --> 00:34:47,924 I feel like I borrowed money from a loan shark, 834 00:34:47,955 --> 00:34:49,348 the way your mom "naturally" 835 00:34:49,391 --> 00:34:51,393 works the diner's profit into conversations. 836 00:34:51,437 --> 00:34:53,700 Can't see through that at all. 837 00:34:53,743 --> 00:34:55,136 And then your dad pretends 838 00:34:55,180 --> 00:34:57,138 like he's on everyone's side, right? 839 00:34:57,182 --> 00:34:58,618 "Dearest, please. 840 00:34:58,661 --> 00:35:01,142 We mustn't talk finances in front of the children." 841 00:35:01,186 --> 00:35:03,188 Would've been less painful to borrow money 842 00:35:03,231 --> 00:35:05,799 from someone who'd just break my fingers. 843 00:35:09,977 --> 00:35:11,718 What? [Sighs] 844 00:35:11,761 --> 00:35:13,154 What? 845 00:35:13,198 --> 00:35:14,851 They're 846 00:35:14,895 --> 00:35:16,853 very generous with us. 847 00:35:16,897 --> 00:35:20,030 And where are your parents any time we need anything? 848 00:35:20,074 --> 00:35:21,989 Okay, that's not... I'm just agreeing with you. 849 00:35:22,032 --> 00:35:24,513 They've taken us to the Bahamas every Christmas 850 00:35:24,557 --> 00:35:25,732 for how many years? 851 00:35:25,775 --> 00:35:29,692 And that's very nice of them. 852 00:35:29,736 --> 00:35:32,217 But I never asked for the Bahamas. 853 00:35:32,260 --> 00:35:34,567 [Sighs] They just want us to be happy. 854 00:35:34,610 --> 00:35:36,501 And we wouldn't afford this kitchen without them, 855 00:35:36,525 --> 00:35:38,048 let alone yourkitchen. 856 00:35:38,092 --> 00:35:40,703 Oh, you mean the, uh, "little cafe" they funded? 857 00:35:40,747 --> 00:35:42,986 Stop it. You think they'll ever let me be proud of that place? 858 00:35:43,010 --> 00:35:45,273 Of building anything, knowing it came from them? 859 00:35:45,317 --> 00:35:47,362 I'm just their latest thing to throw money at. 860 00:35:47,406 --> 00:35:51,279 Well, let's be honest, you're a hell of a project! 861 00:35:51,323 --> 00:35:53,151 [Scoffs] 862 00:35:53,194 --> 00:35:55,153 [Clears throat] 863 00:36:00,723 --> 00:36:03,204 Where are you going?! 864 00:36:03,248 --> 00:36:05,511 Maybe I don't want to waste the next 15 years 865 00:36:05,554 --> 00:36:07,513 trying to distract myself. 866 00:36:10,255 --> 00:36:11,255 [Door slams] 867 00:36:14,955 --> 00:36:17,218 Is that it? 868 00:36:17,262 --> 00:36:19,002 Can I please go now? 869 00:36:19,046 --> 00:36:21,788 Mm, just about. 870 00:36:21,831 --> 00:36:25,270 What was Kevin doing today up to the shooting? 871 00:36:25,313 --> 00:36:27,446 [Sighs] 872 00:36:27,489 --> 00:36:28,969 ♪ 873 00:36:29,012 --> 00:36:32,233 The human body's a house of horrors. 874 00:36:32,277 --> 00:36:34,235 I just got a new recurring nightmare. 875 00:36:34,279 --> 00:36:37,499 Being so small I get sucked down my shower drain is out. 876 00:36:37,543 --> 00:36:40,459 That thing is in. 877 00:36:40,502 --> 00:36:42,243 What kind of a sicko would choose 878 00:36:42,287 --> 00:36:45,377 to do this to themselves? 879 00:36:45,420 --> 00:36:47,074 Oh. Sorry, ma'am. 880 00:36:47,117 --> 00:36:49,250 He didn't mean you. 881 00:36:49,294 --> 00:36:50,904 He... He meant her. 882 00:36:50,947 --> 00:36:53,733 [Laughter] 883 00:36:53,776 --> 00:36:56,039 God, if this is all so gross, why are we here at all? 884 00:36:56,083 --> 00:36:57,476 It's simple, Neil. 885 00:36:57,519 --> 00:37:00,000 It's a matter of the birds and the bees. 886 00:37:00,043 --> 00:37:02,220 Ooh, go slow. This story sounds fun. 887 00:37:02,263 --> 00:37:04,787 See, Allison's birds are obviously 888 00:37:04,831 --> 00:37:08,138 not laying their eggs properly in her little nest. 889 00:37:08,182 --> 00:37:09,705 So, that's why you think she went 890 00:37:09,749 --> 00:37:11,098 to the baby doctor without you? 891 00:37:11,141 --> 00:37:12,360 Definitely. 892 00:37:12,404 --> 00:37:14,144 But if these quacks get in her head, 893 00:37:14,188 --> 00:37:16,756 she might try pinning herissues on mybees. 894 00:37:16,799 --> 00:37:19,454 [Gasps] She wouldn't.She would. 895 00:37:19,498 --> 00:37:22,196 But now, she can't, because once I go in the back 896 00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:23,371 and buzz in a little cup, 897 00:37:23,415 --> 00:37:25,068 I'll have legal documentation 898 00:37:25,112 --> 00:37:29,247 showing that my dude-hive is loaded with primo pollen. 899 00:37:29,290 --> 00:37:30,552 The primo-est. 900 00:37:30,596 --> 00:37:32,032 That's so smart. 901 00:37:32,075 --> 00:37:33,381 It makes perfect sense. 902 00:37:33,425 --> 00:37:34,687 Plus, as a bonus, 903 00:37:34,730 --> 00:37:36,645 they got dirty magazines back there. 904 00:37:36,689 --> 00:37:39,518 Well, can't you just, like, watch nudie stuff on your phone? 905 00:37:39,561 --> 00:37:41,998 Where's your sense of history, Neil?! 906 00:37:42,042 --> 00:37:45,045 These are magazines, okay? Old school. 907 00:37:45,088 --> 00:37:47,308 It'll be like visiting Colonial Williamsburg 908 00:37:47,352 --> 00:37:50,180 and churning my own butter. 909 00:37:50,224 --> 00:37:53,532 It's an enriching experience. 910 00:37:53,575 --> 00:37:56,448 You always find a way to see the magic in the world. 911 00:37:56,491 --> 00:37:57,710 [Laughter] 912 00:37:57,753 --> 00:37:58,972 ♪ 913 00:37:59,015 --> 00:38:00,278 Attention, everyone! 914 00:38:00,321 --> 00:38:03,150 Report to the living room at once! 915 00:38:03,193 --> 00:38:05,065 [Softly] Ow. 916 00:38:05,108 --> 00:38:08,373 Report to the living room! This is urgent! 917 00:38:08,416 --> 00:38:10,505 The last time you claimed something was urgent, 918 00:38:10,549 --> 00:38:11,898 you had a fake doctor's note 919 00:38:11,941 --> 00:38:15,815 claiming you had a "meatball sub deficiency". 920 00:38:15,858 --> 00:38:18,034 You knew that was fake? 921 00:38:18,078 --> 00:38:19,732 Listen, none of that matters now. 922 00:38:19,775 --> 00:38:21,516 I have an announcement. 923 00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:25,694 [Drum roll] 924 00:38:25,738 --> 00:38:27,348 Kevin, focus! 925 00:38:27,392 --> 00:38:29,785 Hey! Sorry. 926 00:38:29,829 --> 00:38:35,530 I, Kevin Garnett McRoberts, am going to be a daddy. 927 00:38:35,574 --> 00:38:38,446 Oh, my God! Oh, this is so exciting! 928 00:38:38,490 --> 00:38:41,493 What a blessing! Oh, my child. Oh... 929 00:38:41,536 --> 00:38:43,538 What? No. What? I'm not pregnant! 930 00:38:43,582 --> 00:38:44,931 Allison's right, Dad. 931 00:38:44,974 --> 00:38:46,976 There is no bun in this roomy oven just yet. 932 00:38:47,020 --> 00:38:48,326 But don't worry. 933 00:38:48,369 --> 00:38:49,979 There will be plenty of tummy touching 934 00:38:50,023 --> 00:38:51,154 down the road. 935 00:38:51,198 --> 00:38:52,721 Kevin, what kind of joke is this? 936 00:38:52,765 --> 00:38:54,244 A cosmic one, really. 937 00:38:54,288 --> 00:38:55,724 I never wanted to be a father. 938 00:38:55,768 --> 00:38:57,596 You know what I say about kids... 939 00:38:57,639 --> 00:38:59,617 They're only good for their tiny fingers. Tiny fingers. 940 00:38:59,641 --> 00:39:00,555 Exactly. 941 00:39:00,599 --> 00:39:01,948 And I'm all set there, 942 00:39:01,991 --> 00:39:03,558 'cause your hands are pretty small. 943 00:39:03,602 --> 00:39:05,778 That's sweet. 944 00:39:05,821 --> 00:39:08,650 When you have a kid, it becomes all about them, 945 00:39:08,694 --> 00:39:11,914 which means it's not about me, and that sucks. 946 00:39:11,958 --> 00:39:13,438 You were a blessing, Kevin. 947 00:39:13,481 --> 00:39:15,657 You never caused me a problem once. 948 00:39:15,701 --> 00:39:17,137 Well, thanks, but that's 'cause 949 00:39:17,180 --> 00:39:18,854 you were drunk off the blood of Christ, Pop. 950 00:39:18,878 --> 00:39:23,404 But I took my talents to the baby batter bank. 951 00:39:23,448 --> 00:39:25,275 The what now? 952 00:39:25,319 --> 00:39:27,495 The fartility clinic. 953 00:39:27,539 --> 00:39:29,497 And I found out 954 00:39:29,541 --> 00:39:32,631 that my bees have 99% motility. 955 00:39:32,674 --> 00:39:34,676 [Laughs] 956 00:39:34,720 --> 00:39:36,156 Runs in the family, son. 957 00:39:36,199 --> 00:39:37,723 Yeah, when I got your mom pregnant, 958 00:39:37,766 --> 00:39:40,769 we were in separate bathtubs, like that Cialis commercial. 959 00:39:40,813 --> 00:39:43,511 [Laughter] 960 00:39:43,555 --> 00:39:45,687 Oh, come on! 961 00:39:45,731 --> 00:39:47,689 It would be a slap in God's face 962 00:39:47,733 --> 00:39:50,649 if I only used my business for recreational purposes. 963 00:39:50,692 --> 00:39:52,172 No. 964 00:39:52,215 --> 00:39:54,957 I need to populate this town with mini-Kevins, 965 00:39:55,001 --> 00:39:57,133 for the good of all mankind. 966 00:39:57,177 --> 00:39:58,657 That's my boy. So cool. 967 00:39:58,700 --> 00:39:59,701 No joke? 968 00:39:59,745 --> 00:40:00,833 No joke, babe. 969 00:40:00,876 --> 00:40:02,443 [Sobs] 970 00:40:02,487 --> 00:40:04,445 Oh, I know. I know. 971 00:40:04,489 --> 00:40:06,882 All your dreams are coming true. 972 00:40:06,926 --> 00:40:09,145 [Laughter][Neil and Pete baby talk] 973 00:40:09,189 --> 00:40:11,147 Again, there's nothing in there! 974 00:40:11,191 --> 00:40:13,454 Not yet! Not yet! 975 00:40:13,498 --> 00:40:15,891 But time is of the essence, because, you know, 976 00:40:15,935 --> 00:40:17,502 the band is starting to really take off, 977 00:40:17,545 --> 00:40:19,504 and we need to get this going now. 978 00:40:19,547 --> 00:40:22,202 How awesome would it be if we got you preggo 979 00:40:22,245 --> 00:40:24,073 before you left town next week? 980 00:40:24,117 --> 00:40:26,467 You could celebrate the good news with your mom! 981 00:40:26,511 --> 00:40:29,078 So, you're saying you want to 982 00:40:29,122 --> 00:40:30,428 like, right now? 983 00:40:30,471 --> 00:40:32,473 [Chuckles] Rrow! 984 00:40:32,517 --> 00:40:34,736 No. Not right now. 985 00:40:34,780 --> 00:40:36,172 No, Jenny McCarthy Tank Top 986 00:40:36,216 --> 00:40:37,498 has our inaugural concert tonight, 987 00:40:37,522 --> 00:40:39,001 so we have to get ready. 988 00:40:39,045 --> 00:40:42,265 But after the concert, I'm all yours, hon. 989 00:40:42,309 --> 00:40:43,702 You know what? 990 00:40:43,745 --> 00:40:47,445 You'll be like my little at-home groupie. 991 00:40:47,488 --> 00:40:50,535 I still can't believe it! I'm gonna be a daddy! 992 00:40:50,578 --> 00:40:53,059 [Chanting] D-A-D-D-Y! 993 00:40:53,102 --> 00:40:54,756 Men: [Chanting] D-A-D-D-Y! 994 00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:57,455 D-A-D-D-Y! 995 00:40:57,498 --> 00:41:00,501 ♪ 996 00:41:00,545 --> 00:41:03,417 ♪ Jenny McCarthy Tank Top ♪ 997 00:41:03,461 --> 00:41:05,288 [Laughs] 998 00:41:05,332 --> 00:41:09,031 What an amazing night! [Laughs] 999 00:41:09,075 --> 00:41:13,340 What an amazing night! 1000 00:41:13,383 --> 00:41:15,473 Aah! Oh. 1001 00:41:15,516 --> 00:41:17,736 Oh, I just had 1002 00:41:17,779 --> 00:41:19,781 the most amazing night of my entire life. 1003 00:41:19,825 --> 00:41:21,174 [Chuckles] Oh. 1004 00:41:21,217 --> 00:41:23,655 The crowd demanded three karaoke encores 1005 00:41:23,698 --> 00:41:26,048 of "Don't Stop Believing." 1006 00:41:26,092 --> 00:41:27,528 You should've been there. 1007 00:41:27,572 --> 00:41:28,747 Although if you had been, 1008 00:41:28,790 --> 00:41:30,270 it might've changed the vibe a little. 1009 00:41:30,313 --> 00:41:32,011 Sure. 1010 00:41:32,054 --> 00:41:35,231 Can you imagine how much people are gonna love our band 1011 00:41:35,275 --> 00:41:37,712 once we actually have original songs? 1012 00:41:37,756 --> 00:41:40,410 Or learn to play instruments? 1013 00:41:40,454 --> 00:41:43,370 So much. [Sighs] 1014 00:41:43,413 --> 00:41:45,981 Well, time for bed. 1015 00:41:46,025 --> 00:41:48,549 We both know how you are when you've had liquor. 1016 00:41:48,593 --> 00:41:49,768 Oh, no, no, no, no. 1017 00:41:49,811 --> 00:41:51,944 No, ma'am. Not tonight. 1018 00:41:51,987 --> 00:41:53,554 In the spirit of being a good daddy, 1019 00:41:53,598 --> 00:41:55,643 I have not had a drop to drink. 1020 00:41:55,687 --> 00:41:58,428 Just six Red Bulls. [Giggles] 1021 00:41:58,472 --> 00:42:00,561 [Sighs] I'll tell you, 1022 00:42:00,605 --> 00:42:04,347 all this talk of drugs and rock 'n' roll 1023 00:42:04,391 --> 00:42:07,220 has really got me thinking, you know, 1024 00:42:07,263 --> 00:42:11,441 there's something missing from that trifecta. 1025 00:42:11,485 --> 00:42:12,921 I don't know. 1026 00:42:12,965 --> 00:42:14,967 Maybe tonight is the night that we start... 1027 00:42:15,010 --> 00:42:17,883 [Glass shatters]What was that? 1028 00:42:17,926 --> 00:42:20,276 I think it's just the house settling. 1029 00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:21,887 Well, it sounded like more than that. 1030 00:42:21,930 --> 00:42:23,628 [Rattling] 1031 00:42:23,671 --> 00:42:24,672 Okay. 1032 00:42:24,716 --> 00:42:26,979 There's someone in the house. 1033 00:42:27,022 --> 00:42:28,894 You stay there. Oh, this can't be happening. 1034 00:42:28,937 --> 00:42:30,548 This can't be happening. 1035 00:42:30,591 --> 00:42:33,463 Kev, I'm sure it's fine... Is that a gun? 1036 00:42:33,507 --> 00:42:35,335 Where the hell did you get that? 1037 00:42:35,378 --> 00:42:38,425 I found it out in the back yard with Neil's metal detector. 1038 00:42:38,468 --> 00:42:39,750 The last tenant must have buried it out there 1039 00:42:39,774 --> 00:42:41,689 before he went to prison. 1040 00:42:41,733 --> 00:42:44,213 But it's ours now. 1041 00:42:44,257 --> 00:42:47,260 [Thudding] 1042 00:42:47,303 --> 00:42:50,045 Here's the thing... Once you decide to have kids, 1043 00:42:50,089 --> 00:42:53,353 there's this thing that, like, awakens in you. 1044 00:42:53,396 --> 00:42:57,052 You know? Like, a real... protective urge. 1045 00:42:57,096 --> 00:42:58,639 When I found this thing, I-I didn't know 1046 00:42:58,663 --> 00:43:00,099 what I was gonna do with it, 1047 00:43:00,142 --> 00:43:01,579 but now... 1048 00:43:01,622 --> 00:43:03,493 I know exactly what it's for. 1049 00:43:03,537 --> 00:43:05,887 I have to protect us. 1050 00:43:05,931 --> 00:43:07,585 All of us. 1051 00:43:07,628 --> 00:43:09,804 There's still nothing in there. Right. Sorry. 1052 00:43:09,848 --> 00:43:11,327 Stay here. Kev, don't... 1053 00:43:11,371 --> 00:43:14,374 Shh! Don't. 1054 00:43:14,417 --> 00:43:16,637 [Softly] No. No, no, no. 1055 00:43:16,681 --> 00:43:18,639 No, no, no. [Breathing shakily] 1056 00:43:18,683 --> 00:43:20,772 [Gunshot][Gasps] 1057 00:43:21,555 --> 00:43:23,601 [Upbeat tune plays] 1058 00:43:23,644 --> 00:43:24,950 Are you like okay? 1059 00:43:24,993 --> 00:43:26,212 Do I not look okay? 1060 00:43:26,255 --> 00:43:28,257 [Thud] 1061 00:43:28,301 --> 00:43:29,911 We don't take shootings lightly. 1062 00:43:29,955 --> 00:43:31,652 You may not want to go out of town, at all. 1063 00:43:31,696 --> 00:43:33,195 I just don't get a good feeling off her. 1064 00:43:33,219 --> 00:43:34,176 [Doorbell rings] 1065 00:43:34,220 --> 00:43:35,482 Can I, uh, come in? 1066 00:43:35,525 --> 00:43:36,875 Inside here? 1067 00:43:36,918 --> 00:43:38,200 What am I supposed to do, just sit around 1068 00:43:38,224 --> 00:43:39,529 and hope everything works out? 1069 00:43:39,573 --> 00:43:41,009 Cops been trying to get in here, 1070 00:43:41,053 --> 00:43:42,184 but I know my rights. 1071 00:43:42,228 --> 00:43:43,925 Just need to act fast. 1072 00:43:43,969 --> 00:43:47,886 ♪