1 00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:08,507 (SIGHS) I had the most awful date last night! 2 00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,579 What do you expect when you date guys from Match.Clown? 3 00:00:12,683 --> 00:00:14,523 He was not a clown. 4 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,385 Although that would explain the giant feet. 5 00:00:16,387 --> 00:00:18,047 And tiny car. 6 00:00:19,190 --> 00:00:21,150 (KNOCK ON DOOR) Oh, I'll get it! 7 00:00:21,152 --> 00:00:22,352 Me, too! 8 00:00:22,353 --> 00:00:24,203 Anything's better than listening to this. 9 00:00:25,296 --> 00:00:28,156 Fine, from now on I'll just talk to the lizard. 10 00:00:28,159 --> 00:00:29,599 (GROWLS) 11 00:00:30,061 --> 00:00:31,731 Oh, like you have something better to do. 12 00:00:34,465 --> 00:00:35,535 Ugh! 13 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:40,137 Did somebody order a mean old lady? 14 00:00:41,412 --> 00:00:43,242 Out of my way, Zsa Zsa. 15 00:00:45,676 --> 00:00:48,176 Hello, Bessie... Hello, sweet cheeks. 16 00:00:48,179 --> 00:00:49,179 (GROANS) 17 00:00:50,281 --> 00:00:52,351 I call upon you for a favor. 18 00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:55,363 I'm staying at a hotel while my apartment is being fumigated... 19 00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:57,426 Let me guess, when they spray, you scatter? 20 00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:00,189 I stand by my "ugh!" 21 00:01:01,832 --> 00:01:04,542 Anyway, they don't take pets. 22 00:01:04,535 --> 00:01:06,465 Will you look after Zeusey while I'm away? 23 00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:07,667 I hate animals. 24 00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:11,298 Give me one good reason why I should watch that dust mop with ears. 25 00:01:11,542 --> 00:01:12,742 How about a thousand reasons? 26 00:01:12,743 --> 00:01:14,283 Welcome to Bertram's Doggie Day Care! 27 00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:16,305 Where we pamper your mutt from head to butt! 28 00:01:17,548 --> 00:01:19,348 You know he would've done it for just 20 reasons. 29 00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:23,451 I also have a picture of myself 30 00:01:23,454 --> 00:01:25,524 so Zeusey won't miss me. 31 00:01:26,257 --> 00:01:28,217 Can you put that away? I'm trying to eat here. 32 00:01:31,122 --> 00:01:34,232 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh 33 00:01:34,225 --> 00:01:37,495 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 34 00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:41,198 ♪ It feels like a party every day 35 00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:44,582 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 36 00:01:44,575 --> 00:01:48,375 ♪ But they keep on pulling me every which way 37 00:01:48,379 --> 00:01:51,679 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 38 00:01:51,682 --> 00:01:55,292 ♪ My whole world is changing Turning around 39 00:01:55,286 --> 00:01:58,886 ♪ They got me going crazy Yeah, they're shaking the ground 40 00:01:58,889 --> 00:02:02,849 ♪ But they took a chance on the new girl in town 41 00:02:02,853 --> 00:02:06,333 ♪ And I don't want to let them down, down, down 42 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:08,257 ♪ Hey Jessie 43 00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:11,630 ♪ Hey Jessie 44 00:02:13,404 --> 00:02:17,244 ♪ It feels like a party every day 45 00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:20,668 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪ 46 00:02:24,815 --> 00:02:27,445 Okay, Jessie, are you ready for your first skateboard lesson? 47 00:02:27,878 --> 00:02:30,278 I think so. We're going to start slow, right? 48 00:02:30,281 --> 00:02:31,281 Nope. 49 00:02:32,323 --> 00:02:33,323 (SCREAMING) 50 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,864 Welcome to the deep end, rookie! 51 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:38,658 Whoa! 52 00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:42,592 Whoa. 53 00:02:43,734 --> 00:02:45,744 Are you okay? Um... 54 00:02:45,736 --> 00:02:47,496 Jessie Prescott, very single. 55 00:02:47,498 --> 00:02:48,768 Wait, what was the question? 56 00:02:49,700 --> 00:02:51,640 I'm Brooks Wentworth. Hello... Brooks. 57 00:02:53,844 --> 00:02:55,614 So, do you live around here? 58 00:02:55,806 --> 00:02:57,276 Yeah, just across the street. 59 00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:58,648 But I'm originally from Texas. 60 00:02:58,649 --> 00:03:01,179 I love Texas! My family owns a place out there. 61 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,681 Oh, like, a vacation home? 62 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,423 No, like, Houston. 63 00:03:05,216 --> 00:03:06,656 You own Houston? 64 00:03:06,657 --> 00:03:08,587 What, Dallas is too expensive? 65 00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,660 Actually, it's family money. 66 00:03:11,662 --> 00:03:12,762 It doesn't matter much to me, 67 00:03:12,763 --> 00:03:16,303 but it does mean I can run my own non-profit animal sanctuary. 68 00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:19,267 Here are the baby giraffes we rescued last week. 69 00:03:19,530 --> 00:03:21,370 Aww... I love giraffes! 70 00:03:21,372 --> 00:03:23,272 With their long legs... And those big eyes... 71 00:03:23,274 --> 00:03:25,284 They're like the supermodels of the Serengeti! 72 00:03:25,276 --> 00:03:26,376 (BOTH LAUGH) 73 00:03:26,677 --> 00:03:28,737 And they are almost as cute as you are. 74 00:03:28,739 --> 00:03:29,939 (INCOHERENT MUMBLING) 75 00:03:32,883 --> 00:03:37,653 Well, you're good-looking, nice, and you save baby animals? 76 00:03:37,648 --> 00:03:40,248 If I was your girlfriend, I'd tie you up and lock you in the basement! 77 00:03:40,991 --> 00:03:43,221 No, just kidding. I don't have a basement. 78 00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:44,634 (LAUGHS) 79 00:03:44,855 --> 00:03:46,725 Jessie, let's go. 80 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,927 You know how cranky Bertram gets if we're late to lunch. 81 00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,259 Yeah, he might punish us by giving us seconds. 82 00:03:52,303 --> 00:03:53,363 Right. 83 00:03:53,364 --> 00:03:54,744 Well... 84 00:03:55,706 --> 00:03:57,406 Thanks again for catching me. 85 00:03:57,408 --> 00:03:58,738 Thanks for being such a catch. 86 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,739 Okay, catch you later. 87 00:04:01,312 --> 00:04:02,672 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 88 00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,324 This is hard to watch. 89 00:04:08,619 --> 00:04:11,579 (CHEERING) Yes! Another run for the Yankees! 90 00:04:11,822 --> 00:04:14,732 I just do not understand the appeal of baseball. 91 00:04:14,725 --> 00:04:17,755 The players have to carry those big sticks, and they spit a lot. 92 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,628 It is neither safe nor hygienic. 93 00:04:20,831 --> 00:04:23,631 Neither is owning a giant lizard, but here we are. 94 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,536 You know, you might learn to like baseball 95 00:04:28,539 --> 00:04:30,369 if you came to a game with me. 96 00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:31,701 I would love to! 97 00:04:32,403 --> 00:04:35,313 Should I bring my nose plugs for when we do the wave? 98 00:04:35,306 --> 00:04:36,946 Sports reference, nailed it! 99 00:04:42,313 --> 00:04:44,283 BERTRAM: Here you go, Zeus. 100 00:04:44,655 --> 00:04:46,315 Zeus gets lobster for lunch? 101 00:04:46,317 --> 00:04:48,457 Yesterday you just opened the refrigerator door 102 00:04:48,459 --> 00:04:49,819 and told us to, "Have at it." 103 00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:54,572 You have to give him an after-lunch massage? 104 00:04:54,565 --> 00:04:55,865 Then a paw-dicure? 105 00:04:56,527 --> 00:04:58,627 Yes, but I'll tell you where I draw the line. 106 00:04:58,629 --> 00:05:00,999 I am not doing doggy yoga 107 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,031 with that over-pampered Pomeranian! 108 00:05:04,675 --> 00:05:07,305 Do you wanna say that a little louder 109 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,037 near this picture, which is obviously a nanny-cam? 110 00:05:17,788 --> 00:05:20,388 Ugh, watching Bertram do downward dog 111 00:05:20,391 --> 00:05:22,321 makes me want to do upward lunch. 112 00:05:25,756 --> 00:05:27,056 Is there nothing on TV? 113 00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:32,060 That's enough. Come on, Zeus. 114 00:05:32,803 --> 00:05:34,843 Before your playdate with Miss Fifi, 115 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,505 we have to finish your mutt-scaping. 116 00:05:37,908 --> 00:05:40,968 I can't believe I forgot to give that cute guy in the park my phone number. 117 00:05:41,412 --> 00:05:42,412 Poor Jessie. 118 00:05:42,413 --> 00:05:44,043 If it makes you feel any better, 119 00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,854 he was way out of your league. 120 00:05:46,977 --> 00:05:49,347 Exactly how would that make me feel better? 121 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,349 (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) 122 00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:52,951 Hey, Jessie! I finally found you! 123 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,533 And, I feel better. 124 00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:57,486 Brooks, what are you doing here? 125 00:05:57,488 --> 00:05:58,688 Well, after your fall earlier, 126 00:05:58,689 --> 00:06:00,429 wanted to make sure you were okay. 127 00:06:00,431 --> 00:06:02,931 And, since you love animals so much, 128 00:06:02,933 --> 00:06:04,573 I got you this "Get Well" racehorse. 129 00:06:05,596 --> 00:06:07,496 Really? Wow. Mm-hmm. 130 00:06:07,738 --> 00:06:08,838 Way to overshoot. 131 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:10,699 She would've been happy with a scented candle. 132 00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,842 So her name is Winter's Folly? 133 00:06:14,044 --> 00:06:17,114 Oh, she's a champion out of Summer's Folly. 134 00:06:17,107 --> 00:06:19,407 Broke maiden at Saratoga. 135 00:06:19,410 --> 00:06:21,550 A little slow on the clubhouse turn, but... 136 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,623 What? I like horsies. 137 00:06:25,656 --> 00:06:27,456 Guys, could you give us a minute? 138 00:06:27,458 --> 00:06:29,418 Sure. We'll give you your privacy. 139 00:06:31,962 --> 00:06:34,572 So, how did you know where I lived? 140 00:06:36,066 --> 00:06:38,396 Well, when I couldn't find you in the phone book, 141 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,098 I just had a family friend do a little snooping. 142 00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,030 Well, is your friend a detective? 143 00:06:42,032 --> 00:06:43,832 Sort of. He's the head of the C.I.A. 144 00:06:45,135 --> 00:06:46,435 Really? 145 00:06:46,437 --> 00:06:48,477 If he mentioned anything about my browser history, 146 00:06:48,479 --> 00:06:50,509 Luke sometimes borrows my laptop. 147 00:06:51,181 --> 00:06:54,721 That explains the weird obsession with Kate Upton and snowboards. 148 00:06:55,045 --> 00:06:56,045 (LAUGHS) 149 00:06:57,047 --> 00:06:58,087 Listen... 150 00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:02,089 I really came over here to ask you out. 151 00:07:03,193 --> 00:07:05,933 Want to go for Chinese food tomorrow night? I would love to. 152 00:07:06,657 --> 00:07:07,657 BOTH: Yes! 153 00:07:09,099 --> 00:07:11,199 How did you know Chinese food was my favorite? 154 00:07:11,201 --> 00:07:13,501 Our friend at the C.I.A. was pretty thorough. 155 00:07:13,504 --> 00:07:14,644 Oh. 156 00:07:14,865 --> 00:07:16,665 By the way, amazing dental records. 157 00:07:16,667 --> 00:07:18,437 Thanks! I floss. 158 00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:20,610 I'll see you tomorrow? 159 00:07:22,072 --> 00:07:23,072 (YELPS) 160 00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:27,546 See you later, alligator. 161 00:07:29,580 --> 00:07:31,880 "See you later, alligator?" 162 00:07:31,882 --> 00:07:33,722 That is the dumbest thing I've ever said! 163 00:07:34,084 --> 00:07:36,134 Not by a mile, crocodile. 164 00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,158 We keep a list. 165 00:07:40,090 --> 00:07:42,230 Just for that, you two do not get to ride my racehorse! 166 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,644 Wow... 167 00:07:45,636 --> 00:07:48,236 I haven't seen Jessie this excited about a guy since Tony. 168 00:07:48,799 --> 00:07:49,869 I know! 169 00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:52,170 And that's who she's supposed to end up with! 170 00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,752 Not that big hunk o'handsome, 171 00:07:54,745 --> 00:07:58,105 with his strong arms, and his pretty face... 172 00:07:59,209 --> 00:08:00,209 Down girl. 173 00:08:04,715 --> 00:08:07,655 That was a humdinger of a sporting event! 174 00:08:07,658 --> 00:08:10,558 I cannot believe I caught a spheroid! 175 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:16,102 It's a baseball! And you didn't catch it. 176 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,796 It fell into the popcorn bucket 177 00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,728 you were using to shield your face! 178 00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:25,843 I hate baseball! And dogs! 179 00:08:26,276 --> 00:08:27,736 (BARKS) 180 00:08:27,738 --> 00:08:31,138 I know, I know. It's time for your aromatherapy, 181 00:08:31,141 --> 00:08:33,611 and for me to question my life choices. 182 00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:38,116 Now he questions his life choices? (CHUCKLES) 183 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,148 Don't change the subject. 184 00:08:40,150 --> 00:08:41,650 I want this ball! 185 00:08:41,652 --> 00:08:43,152 It was heading right for me. 186 00:08:43,153 --> 00:08:47,033 It was the longest home run ever hit in Yankee Stadium! 187 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:51,697 Which is why classmates who saw me catch the ball on TV 188 00:08:51,702 --> 00:08:54,262 have already texted me to ask to see it. 189 00:08:54,264 --> 00:08:57,314 I am getting texts! Do you realize what this means? 190 00:08:57,307 --> 00:09:00,667 Yes. Your phone isn't "broken" after all. 191 00:09:02,573 --> 00:09:04,043 Happy two week anniversary. 192 00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:08,615 Awww, I had no idea the two week anniversary present was hummus. 193 00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:11,050 Well, you know what they say, 194 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,951 chick peas are the legumes of love. 195 00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:15,264 No one says that! 196 00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:17,555 Not even the wives of chick pea farmers! 197 00:09:18,889 --> 00:09:21,129 Excuse me, Emma, may I please get a napkin? 198 00:09:21,131 --> 00:09:23,231 Our doorman has better hair than you! 199 00:09:24,695 --> 00:09:26,335 So, that's a "no" on the napkin? 200 00:09:26,336 --> 00:09:28,196 You're lucky you got hummus! 201 00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:31,100 There you are, Brooksie. 202 00:09:31,101 --> 00:09:34,201 I got the oddest call from our stable. 203 00:09:34,204 --> 00:09:36,084 It seems we're missing a racehorse... 204 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:39,246 Mrs. Chesterfield? Tessie? 205 00:09:40,110 --> 00:09:42,110 Mother! Mother? 206 00:09:42,813 --> 00:09:43,983 Ugh! Ugh! 207 00:09:46,917 --> 00:09:50,057 Wait, wait, wait... Mrs. Chesterfield is your mom? 208 00:09:50,060 --> 00:09:52,020 But you don't have the same last name. 209 00:09:52,022 --> 00:09:54,092 Mother changes it each time she remarries. 210 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,704 Call me old fashioned. 211 00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:57,996 I guess I just respect the institution of marriage. 212 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:01,128 Yeah, she respects it so much, she did it six times. 213 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:03,732 Brooksie! 214 00:10:03,734 --> 00:10:05,084 Why are you with this girl? 215 00:10:05,075 --> 00:10:06,675 She's not good enough for you. 216 00:10:07,137 --> 00:10:09,737 Well, maybe I like girls who aren't good enough for me! 217 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,841 That came out wrong. 218 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,223 No, I get it. Still sweet. 219 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:20,146 Trust me, Brooksie. There are many, many, things to despise about this girl. 220 00:10:20,150 --> 00:10:22,020 Oh, yeah? Name one. 221 00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:26,162 Well, she's a nanny, she has giant feet, 222 00:10:26,156 --> 00:10:28,096 and I can hear her snore from downstairs! 223 00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:31,129 Hey! He said name one! 224 00:10:32,302 --> 00:10:36,072 Brooksie, why can't you be more like your brother? 225 00:10:36,066 --> 00:10:38,006 He always obeys me. 226 00:10:38,008 --> 00:10:40,108 For the last time, he's not my brother. 227 00:10:40,110 --> 00:10:41,670 Zeus is a dog! 228 00:10:42,813 --> 00:10:45,723 I'm warning you, Brooksie. Don't defy me. 229 00:10:46,216 --> 00:10:49,876 Things can get very ugly for you if I don't get my way. 230 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:51,850 Just ask my ex-hairdresser. 231 00:10:52,182 --> 00:10:54,222 If you can find him. 232 00:10:57,127 --> 00:10:58,127 Huh. 233 00:10:58,128 --> 00:11:00,128 Well, I think we've solved the mystery 234 00:11:00,130 --> 00:11:01,430 of the plugged up garbage chute. 235 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:18,245 Time for me to make the greatest steal in baseball history. 236 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:31,320 Ah! 237 00:11:39,229 --> 00:11:41,799 Ooh, suction cup arrows. 238 00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:43,102 Like that's scary. 239 00:11:43,433 --> 00:11:44,433 (SCREAMS) 240 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,478 That is scary! 241 00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:09,128 (LAUGHS) 242 00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:11,160 Yes! 243 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,238 (SCREAMING) No! 244 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,945 Well, well, well... 245 00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:31,450 What a surprise. 246 00:12:32,022 --> 00:12:35,532 What, that I decided to steal your precious baseball? 247 00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:38,926 No, that my giant boulder actually fit down the stairs. 248 00:12:38,929 --> 00:12:40,529 The physics were iffy on that one. 249 00:12:42,292 --> 00:12:45,342 Luke, why do you want this baseball so badly? 250 00:12:45,335 --> 00:12:48,865 I just do, okay? It's kind of personal. 251 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,539 I am a person. Talk to me, bro. 252 00:12:52,843 --> 00:12:54,443 Well, the thing is... 253 00:12:55,305 --> 00:12:58,105 When I first moved to New York, rooting for the Yankees 254 00:12:58,108 --> 00:13:03,878 and going to the games helped me feel like a real New Yorker. 255 00:13:05,055 --> 00:13:07,855 I guess I just wanted a piece of the team that means so much to me. 256 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,518 Aw. Luke, that is so... (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) 257 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:11,860 Disgusting! 258 00:13:12,522 --> 00:13:16,232 I don't understand how you can poop something bigger than you are! 259 00:13:18,168 --> 00:13:19,498 It's easy if you focus. 260 00:13:27,177 --> 00:13:29,137 And how was everything this evening? 261 00:13:29,139 --> 00:13:30,439 Magnificent. 262 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,410 The rabbit rillettes were exquisite, 263 00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:35,492 and the chateaubriand was inspired. 264 00:13:35,485 --> 00:13:37,285 Yep. Super yummy. 265 00:13:39,189 --> 00:13:42,219 Oh, goody. I shall tell the chef it was, "Super yummy!" 266 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,225 Somebody's got his bow-tie in a bunch. 267 00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:52,228 Jessie, I want you to know my mother's threats don't scare me. 268 00:13:52,963 --> 00:13:54,403 I really care about you, 269 00:13:54,404 --> 00:13:56,514 and I will not let her come between us. 270 00:13:58,208 --> 00:13:59,938 I already have. 271 00:14:00,170 --> 00:14:01,540 (LAUGHS) Oh. 272 00:14:03,113 --> 00:14:06,323 FYI, I've canceled your credit cards! 273 00:14:06,316 --> 00:14:09,076 So, no more fancy dates, no more fancy clothes... 274 00:14:09,079 --> 00:14:10,149 No more money. 275 00:14:10,420 --> 00:14:12,180 Point, Rhoda! 276 00:14:15,625 --> 00:14:18,255 Ooh, I see tonight's special is beefcake. 277 00:14:19,289 --> 00:14:21,589 Note to self, stop working out. 278 00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:27,943 My apologies, sir, but your credit card seems to have been declined. 279 00:14:27,938 --> 00:14:31,068 Perhaps you accidentally gave me the lady's card? 280 00:14:32,502 --> 00:14:35,452 Joke's on you. No bank will give me a card. 281 00:14:35,645 --> 00:14:37,245 Quelle surprise! 282 00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,524 Mother, you can't cut me off. 283 00:14:45,515 --> 00:14:47,155 Even you're not that vicious. 284 00:14:47,157 --> 00:14:50,617 Oh, really? Just ask your stepfathers two through six. 285 00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:53,020 If you can find them. (CHUCKLES) 286 00:14:53,023 --> 00:14:54,623 What, do you have your own landfill? 287 00:14:55,665 --> 00:14:59,195 I'll be over at my table, waiting for you to come to your senses. 288 00:15:00,230 --> 00:15:03,970 And watching that saucy waiter, Carlisle, carve a rump roast. 289 00:15:05,335 --> 00:15:06,475 Forget about her. 290 00:15:06,476 --> 00:15:08,936 I'll pay for this bill myself, so we can just get out of here. 291 00:15:09,679 --> 00:15:12,079 Whoa, did we buy dinner, or a space shuttle? 292 00:15:12,482 --> 00:15:14,642 It's okay. I'll just call some friends, they'll come lend us the money. 293 00:15:16,086 --> 00:15:18,046 Oh, no! She already canceled my phone! 294 00:15:19,089 --> 00:15:21,349 Don't worry. I have some friends with deep pockets, too. 295 00:15:22,552 --> 00:15:23,552 Hi, friends! 296 00:15:24,294 --> 00:15:26,064 Can you lend us some money for dinner? 297 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,696 Oh, Jessie... 298 00:15:27,697 --> 00:15:29,227 Of course not. 299 00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:32,031 What? Why not? 300 00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:35,212 Because you and Tony are perfect for each other, 301 00:15:35,205 --> 00:15:37,405 and we're not helping you until you dump this guy. 302 00:15:38,268 --> 00:15:40,168 No offense, dreamboat. 303 00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:42,171 My name's Brooks. 304 00:15:42,172 --> 00:15:45,222 Shh, beautiful... No one wants to hear you talk. 305 00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:50,278 Guys, I told you, 306 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,350 Tony and I are not getting back together. 307 00:15:52,722 --> 00:15:55,432 Fine. Then enjoy restaurant jail! 308 00:15:55,425 --> 00:15:58,425 Meanwhile, we're going to go sit with Mrs. Chesterfield 309 00:15:58,428 --> 00:16:01,158 and watch the show. Peace out, paupers. 310 00:16:04,594 --> 00:16:07,174 They're really lovely children once you get to know them. 311 00:16:11,701 --> 00:16:13,271 (GASPS) Zeus! 312 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,183 Stop chewing on Luke's sock! 313 00:16:16,206 --> 00:16:19,176 Oh, great, now you're probably gonna need a tetanus shot. 314 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:25,721 Wow, it looks like you feel the same way about these kids as I do. 315 00:16:27,317 --> 00:16:30,187 You're not such a bad little guy after all. 316 00:16:31,661 --> 00:16:33,321 So, which kid annoys you the most? 317 00:16:39,729 --> 00:16:42,699 Well, judging by the little gift you left, I'm guessing it's Emma. 318 00:16:46,276 --> 00:16:49,106 Jessie, you don't have to scrounge for cash. I'll figure something out. 319 00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:51,209 Well, actually, I'm looking for my pepper spray. 320 00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:53,381 This isn't the first time I've had to escape a restaurant 321 00:16:53,383 --> 00:16:54,713 because my date couldn't pay the bill. 322 00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,117 So, you're still here, 323 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,290 and yet the little tray where the money goes is still empty. 324 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:07,203 You two do understand how restaurants operate, right? 325 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,298 Maybe we can work something out. 326 00:17:11,101 --> 00:17:13,561 What would you say to this gold watch? 327 00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:18,765 I'd say, "Hello, Watch! Do you have any money? 328 00:17:18,768 --> 00:17:22,308 "As this establishment does not accept payment in timepieces." 329 00:17:24,174 --> 00:17:26,354 Okay, okay, we will pay you, 330 00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,216 right after I get back from the bathroom. 331 00:17:28,818 --> 00:17:30,118 Very well. 332 00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:33,120 And before you ask, you don't need a token to use it. 333 00:17:36,286 --> 00:17:37,656 I think I'm winning him over. 334 00:17:40,530 --> 00:17:43,660 So, do you have a plan, or did you just drink too much iced tea? 335 00:17:44,334 --> 00:17:45,444 Both. 336 00:17:45,795 --> 00:17:48,095 There's a window near the ceiling in the ladies room. 337 00:17:48,098 --> 00:17:50,398 I can sneak out, and empty my bank account. 338 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:51,840 And if that doesn't work, 339 00:17:51,841 --> 00:17:54,701 I'll see if anyone here is interested in buying a slightly used racehorse. 340 00:18:00,450 --> 00:18:02,280 Maybe we should have helped Jessie. 341 00:18:02,512 --> 00:18:04,482 Yeah, I feel kind of guilty. 342 00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:08,485 Guilt disappears, like wrinkles after a visit to Dr. Lookgood. 343 00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:12,861 I guess you haven't been there in a while. 344 00:18:18,168 --> 00:18:20,128 Jessie, what happened? Are you okay? 345 00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:25,211 It turns out balancing on a toilet seat in heels is a lot harder than I remember. 346 00:18:26,136 --> 00:18:28,236 Aw, geez, I'm so sorry. 347 00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:30,739 That is just water, right? 348 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:35,221 And tears. When I dropped my purse, it activated the pepper spray. 349 00:18:39,349 --> 00:18:42,549 Hey, Ravi. I've given it a lot of thought, and... 350 00:18:43,693 --> 00:18:46,563 I'm sorry I've been hassling you about the baseball. 351 00:18:46,556 --> 00:18:50,226 You should keep it because I love you. 352 00:18:51,201 --> 00:18:53,801 Oh, thank you, Luke. But I gave it away. 353 00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:56,414 I hate you! Why would you do that? 354 00:18:57,907 --> 00:19:00,907 Well, actually, I did not give it away. 355 00:19:00,910 --> 00:19:03,540 I traded it to the Yankees. For this... 356 00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:09,818 Holy Mo Rivera! 357 00:19:14,324 --> 00:19:16,264 Hey, these are all signed 358 00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:18,756 to "Luke 'Chick Magnet' Ross!" 359 00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:22,759 Yes. I thought you would like that better than Luke "Philbert" Ross. 360 00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:25,643 And you have not seen the best part. 361 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,437 "Luke 'Chick Magnet' Ross, 362 00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:36,312 "you are hereby officially designated a Yankees bat boy!" 363 00:19:36,946 --> 00:19:40,576 I hope you do not get dizzy hanging upside down in the dugout. 364 00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:42,350 Sports humor, nailed it! 365 00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:47,194 What looks good, Carlisle? 366 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,386 Besides you. 367 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,860 Looks like somebody is ordering husband number seven. 368 00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:56,873 Carlisle, whip cream and keep it comin'! 369 00:19:57,327 --> 00:19:59,897 Yes, just what you need, more sugar. 370 00:20:00,830 --> 00:20:02,770 All right, it's gotta be here somewhere... 371 00:20:04,334 --> 00:20:05,414 Thank you. 372 00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:07,606 Okay, that was new. 373 00:20:09,279 --> 00:20:10,379 A-ha! 374 00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:12,280 Trying to escape, were we? 375 00:20:12,282 --> 00:20:15,252 Wait a minute... This isn't the coat room. 376 00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:21,317 Nice try, Gussie. Two points, Rhoda! 377 00:20:24,294 --> 00:20:26,334 Jessie, this is ridiculous! 378 00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:29,256 I'm just going to be a man, and tell my mommy to pay for our dinner! 379 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,330 Brooks, wait. 380 00:20:32,562 --> 00:20:35,272 I'm not just worried about paying for this meal. 381 00:20:35,265 --> 00:20:38,265 It's all the meals after this. And for the rest of your life. 382 00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:41,369 Maybe it is better if you just break up with me. 383 00:20:41,371 --> 00:20:42,471 Jessie, no! 384 00:20:42,472 --> 00:20:45,382 Are you really willing to give up your entire lifestyle, 385 00:20:45,375 --> 00:20:48,245 the money, everything, for a girl you just met? 386 00:20:48,478 --> 00:20:50,378 Although, I do look bangin' in this dress... 387 00:20:51,881 --> 00:20:54,881 You mean, the girl who is willing to fall into a toilet for me? 388 00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:57,685 Who loves animals as much as I do? 389 00:20:59,289 --> 00:21:00,989 Who makes me melt when I look into her eyes? 390 00:21:03,293 --> 00:21:04,693 Maybe this'll answer your question... 391 00:21:05,835 --> 00:21:07,935 Mother, we need to talk. 392 00:21:07,937 --> 00:21:11,597 Oh, Brooksie, thank heavens you've come groveling back. 393 00:21:11,841 --> 00:21:14,471 Now, let's get out of here before somebody sees me with "new money" here... 394 00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:19,275 Mother, that's it! I've had it! I don't need your money. 395 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,308 I'm sick of you controlling me! 396 00:21:21,311 --> 00:21:23,611 I don't control you! 397 00:21:23,613 --> 00:21:24,613 Blow. 398 00:21:24,954 --> 00:21:26,024 No! No! 399 00:21:26,716 --> 00:21:29,786 I've had a better time with Jessie these past few weeks 400 00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:31,659 than I've ever had in my life! 401 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,591 You should really try go-karting. 402 00:21:35,064 --> 00:21:36,774 So you can keep it all, Mother. 403 00:21:36,766 --> 00:21:39,496 Because I'd rather be poor and happy with Jessie, 404 00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:40,899 than rich without her! 405 00:21:42,502 --> 00:21:45,032 That's the most wonderful thing a guy has ever said about me! 406 00:21:45,875 --> 00:21:47,505 Seriously, number two is, 407 00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:50,777 "It's so refreshing to date a girl who really knows her way around a carburetor." 408 00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:55,452 Jessie, for the last time, we want you to be with Tony! 409 00:21:55,445 --> 00:21:58,645 Brooks, for the last time, I want you to be with anybody but Stressie! 410 00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:01,919 Hey! You know what, 411 00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:04,421 it's not about what makes you happy. 412 00:22:04,424 --> 00:22:05,634 It's about what makes us happy! 413 00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:09,095 That's right! And we will stay here in this restaurant forever if we have to! 414 00:22:09,559 --> 00:22:11,329 Oh, no you won't! 415 00:22:11,761 --> 00:22:15,331 You people have caused enough commotion. 416 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:16,974 And you're covered in toilet water. 417 00:22:18,608 --> 00:22:20,338 I will pay your bill. 418 00:22:21,010 --> 00:22:22,810 Thank you. I'll pay you back. 419 00:22:23,072 --> 00:22:25,852 Your absence will be payment enough. 420 00:22:26,115 --> 00:22:27,875 Plus, I'll take that watch. 421 00:22:29,519 --> 00:22:30,519 Ow! 422 00:22:30,780 --> 00:22:32,020 That's your tip. 423 00:22:33,082 --> 00:22:35,352 And here's a tip for you. Call your lawyer, 424 00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:37,394 I'm suing you for harassment. 425 00:22:38,057 --> 00:22:39,587 (LAUGHS) 426 00:22:39,589 --> 00:22:41,759 I love it when they play hard to get. 427 00:22:44,394 --> 00:22:45,444 So... 428 00:22:46,496 --> 00:22:48,836 You may have won this battle. 429 00:22:48,838 --> 00:22:50,668 Point, lovebirds! 430 00:22:51,801 --> 00:22:53,401 But the war is not over! 431 00:22:54,073 --> 00:22:55,583 Come, urchins. 432 00:22:56,606 --> 00:22:57,946 Are you sure there's enough room on your broom? 433 00:23:00,109 --> 00:23:02,679 Well, I don't know how we're going to get home. 434 00:23:03,713 --> 00:23:05,113 I have a feeling Mother's canceled my limo. 435 00:23:06,556 --> 00:23:09,486 Well, we could do what most New Yorkers do, and take the subway. 436 00:23:09,719 --> 00:23:11,459 I've always wanted to do that! 437 00:23:11,461 --> 00:23:13,521 Are there really giant alligators down there? 438 00:23:13,793 --> 00:23:16,173 Yes, but they are not as scary as that guy who plays his nose hair. 439 00:23:17,727 --> 00:23:19,627 Hold my hand? Gladly! 440 00:23:26,806 --> 00:23:30,506 See, I told you! It's freaky! 441 00:23:30,510 --> 00:23:33,180 So Bertram's watching Dog Dynasty with Zeus. 442 00:23:33,182 --> 00:23:34,782 What's so strange about that? 443 00:23:34,984 --> 00:23:39,094 What's strange is that Mrs. Chesterfield took Zeus back two hours ago! 444 00:23:40,950 --> 00:23:42,150 More cheese, buddy? 445 00:23:42,151 --> 00:23:43,691 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 446 00:23:45,194 --> 00:23:47,134 Num, num, num, num. 447 00:23:49,098 --> 00:23:50,728 (BARKING) 448 00:23:52,001 --> 00:23:53,501 Oh, you're welcome. 449 00:23:53,733 --> 00:23:55,063 (IMITATING DOG PANTING) 450 00:23:56,566 --> 00:23:57,936 Back away from the butler. 451 00:23:58,608 --> 00:24:00,708 But if he starts taking it for walks, we're calling your parents.