1 00:00:08,179 --> 00:00:09,679 (SNARLING) 2 00:00:12,643 --> 00:00:14,193 Okay, Ravi, your turn! 3 00:00:14,585 --> 00:00:16,515 Here I go. Here I go! 4 00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:19,348 Anyone else want to go? 5 00:00:19,550 --> 00:00:21,620 Come on, Ravi, it's fun. Trust me. 6 00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,692 What are you afraid of? 7 00:00:23,694 --> 00:00:27,204 Rope, jumping, and any scenario where Luke tells me to trust him. 8 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,559 (SHRIEKS) 9 00:00:30,561 --> 00:00:32,401 (RAVI GROANS) 10 00:00:32,703 --> 00:00:34,273 Did I win? 11 00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:39,536 Excuse me, I've been watching you guys for a while, and... 12 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:42,240 Stranger danger! Stranger danger! 13 00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:44,724 Initiate scenario two! 14 00:00:44,715 --> 00:00:46,745 Stop, drop, and roll! 15 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,678 That... That's scenario five, in case of a fire! 16 00:00:51,322 --> 00:00:52,522 Oh, my bad. 17 00:00:52,723 --> 00:00:55,733 Guys, relax! I'm Corinne Baxter, 18 00:00:55,726 --> 00:00:57,686 award-winning TV producer. 19 00:00:57,688 --> 00:00:59,528 Ooh, you should meet our butler. 20 00:00:59,530 --> 00:01:02,130 He's an award-winning TV watcher. Ooh. 21 00:01:02,493 --> 00:01:05,573 I'm producing a new reality show about families with nannies... 22 00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:08,166 Oh, I... I'm a nanny, and this is my family! 23 00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:09,539 Smile everyone! 24 00:01:09,540 --> 00:01:11,300 JESSIE: Aren't they adorable? 25 00:01:11,602 --> 00:01:14,582 So, I assume you're interested in being on... Yes! (GASPS) 26 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:17,345 I cannot believe I'm going to have my own TV series! 27 00:01:17,348 --> 00:01:19,778 I've got to go call everyone I know! 28 00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:21,180 Hey, Darla! 29 00:01:23,354 --> 00:01:25,664 Did your nanny just leave without you guys? 30 00:01:27,658 --> 00:01:30,618 You did not say it was a show about good nannies. 31 00:01:32,563 --> 00:01:35,633 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh 32 00:01:35,626 --> 00:01:39,396 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 33 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,870 ♪ It feels like a party every day 34 00:01:42,873 --> 00:01:46,583 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 35 00:01:46,577 --> 00:01:50,107 ♪ But they keep on pulling me every which way 36 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:53,440 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 37 00:01:53,444 --> 00:01:56,894 ♪ My whole world is changing Turning around 38 00:01:56,887 --> 00:02:00,517 ♪ They got me going crazy Yeah, they're shaking the ground 39 00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:04,701 ♪ But they took a chance on the new girl in town 40 00:02:04,695 --> 00:02:07,895 ♪ And I don't want to let them down, down, down 41 00:02:07,898 --> 00:02:11,658 ♪ Hey Jessie 42 00:02:11,662 --> 00:02:15,242 ♪ Hey Jessie 43 00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:18,666 ♪ It feels like a party every day 44 00:02:18,669 --> 00:02:22,669 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪ 45 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,377 Guys! I think the first episode of the reality show 46 00:02:29,380 --> 00:02:32,280 should be the party you're throwing me for my two year nanniversary! 47 00:02:32,283 --> 00:02:33,553 What's that? 48 00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:36,394 The anniversary of my becoming your nanny. 49 00:02:36,387 --> 00:02:38,787 Since when is that a thing? We didn't celebrate it last year. 50 00:02:39,190 --> 00:02:42,660 Exactly. And here is your chance to erase that pain. 51 00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:47,535 I think the first show should star me and my dance moves. 52 00:02:47,538 --> 00:02:49,398 I'll be more popular with the ladies 53 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,540 than Ryan Gosling holding a puppy. 54 00:02:51,542 --> 00:02:53,442 ALL: Aw. 55 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:54,684 See? 56 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,445 Sorry, what? 57 00:02:56,447 --> 00:02:59,347 I was just picturing Ryan Gosling holding a puppy. 58 00:02:59,610 --> 00:03:01,250 It is adorable. 59 00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:04,593 And I'm going to come up with a catchphrase, 60 00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:07,615 then print it on everything from mugs to diapers. 61 00:03:07,618 --> 00:03:10,488 I'll get them drinking and stinking! 62 00:03:11,562 --> 00:03:16,372 As tasteful as a soiled diaper with "mmm-hmm" emblazoned upon it would be, 63 00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:19,828 doing this show would be a huge mistake. 64 00:03:20,271 --> 00:03:23,331 I give you two words. Heisenberg Principle. 65 00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:26,544 Can you give us two words we can understand? 66 00:03:26,537 --> 00:03:28,907 I am sure Jessie comprehends what I am saying. 67 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,440 Of course I do. 68 00:03:31,442 --> 00:03:34,592 But, why don't you break it down? Just for the kids. 69 00:03:34,845 --> 00:03:36,845 The Heisenberg Principle states that 70 00:03:36,847 --> 00:03:38,547 once the camera is introduced, 71 00:03:38,549 --> 00:03:40,919 people cannot help, but change their behavior. 72 00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:44,531 Witness every dope who has ever been on a reality show. 73 00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:46,555 Who cares? Those dopes are famous! 74 00:03:46,557 --> 00:03:48,597 And momma wants a big slice of that. 75 00:03:52,603 --> 00:03:55,613 Bertram, it's 4:00. You're going to sleep already? 76 00:03:55,606 --> 00:03:57,706 No, I just woke up. 77 00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:01,409 You know, Mom and Dad will be watching this reality show. 78 00:04:01,412 --> 00:04:02,842 Don't you want them to see how hard you work? 79 00:04:04,475 --> 00:04:05,745 (ALL LAUGHING) 80 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,679 Ah, seriously, though, I better clean this place up. 81 00:04:11,682 --> 00:04:14,432 I'm gonna go look for the vroom-vroomy thing. 82 00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:22,530 Ugh, this bug bite kept me up all night. 83 00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:25,995 What a pity. 84 00:04:25,996 --> 00:04:29,366 Are you ready for a lovely breakfast, and your close-up? 85 00:04:30,341 --> 00:04:31,701 Good morning! (SCREAMS) 86 00:04:31,702 --> 00:04:34,682 (STAMMERING) I'm in the middle of a beauty treatment! 87 00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:36,345 It ain't working. 88 00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:40,048 (FORCING LAUGHTER) 89 00:04:40,611 --> 00:04:42,811 You're two hours early. 90 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,724 CORINNE: Are we? 91 00:04:45,716 --> 00:04:47,316 Oopsie. 92 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:50,418 Don't you worry your messy little head about us. 93 00:04:50,421 --> 00:04:53,561 We're just here to capture who you really are. 94 00:04:53,564 --> 00:04:55,004 Oh, well! 95 00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:57,625 Who I really am is an actress. 96 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,699 (DRAMATICALLY) No, no, no! 97 00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:03,502 This yogurt has... 98 00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:04,884 Expired! 99 00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,707 Alas, poor yogurt! 100 00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:10,439 I knew it well. 101 00:05:10,681 --> 00:05:11,681 (DRAMATIC SOBBING) 102 00:05:13,684 --> 00:05:15,694 I don't know what's more ridiculous. 103 00:05:15,686 --> 00:05:19,446 Your acting, or the fact that you have a salad fork stuck in your hair. 104 00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:26,504 And now, for the most gratifying part of my day. 105 00:05:26,497 --> 00:05:29,357 When my beloved charges come home from school. 106 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:32,360 Which reminds me of when I played Maria in The Sound of Music. 107 00:05:32,363 --> 00:05:33,663 CORINNE: Please, don't start singing... 108 00:05:34,405 --> 00:05:35,735 ...again. 109 00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:39,737 The Fort Tavey Gazette said I was, and I quote, 110 00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:41,540 "Entirely adequate!" 111 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,454 Uh, and now we are getting off the elevator 112 00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:50,078 after a long, hard day of learning. 113 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,380 And now we are walking... 114 00:05:52,383 --> 00:05:54,463 Walking, walking... 115 00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:57,655 And you're driving us crazy, crazy, crazy! 116 00:06:00,030 --> 00:06:02,490 You don't have to narrate everything we do! 117 00:06:02,493 --> 00:06:03,933 Especially, when I popped that pimple! 118 00:06:03,934 --> 00:06:07,744 Did you really have to make that "pssh" noise? (SNORTS LAUGHTER) 119 00:06:08,639 --> 00:06:12,639 That epidermal explosion needed no audio enhancement from me. 120 00:06:16,006 --> 00:06:19,746 This is my playhouse, and you're just living in it! 121 00:06:20,751 --> 00:06:21,981 Excuse me? 122 00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:23,712 It's my catchphrase. 123 00:06:23,714 --> 00:06:25,724 Make sure to get it in the first episode, 124 00:06:25,716 --> 00:06:28,716 and I'll cut you in for 10% of the merch. 125 00:06:28,719 --> 00:06:30,119 Mmm, money! 126 00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,733 Found it! (CHUCKLES) 127 00:06:34,725 --> 00:06:38,695 Did you know there's a whole closet full of cleaning supplies? 128 00:06:39,530 --> 00:06:40,970 People, please! 129 00:06:40,971 --> 00:06:42,701 I need you to act naturally. 130 00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:43,903 Of course! 131 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,614 Check this out! 132 00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:47,006 (GRUNTING) 133 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:50,910 (GROANS) 134 00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:54,452 Now I know why they call it "hard wood." 135 00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:57,546 Careful! You're in my shot. 136 00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:02,590 Now, I will make everyone yummy snacks. 137 00:07:02,593 --> 00:07:04,463 Much as my idol, Meryl Streep, 138 00:07:04,455 --> 00:07:06,455 to whom I have been compared many times, 139 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,497 did when she played Julia Child. 140 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,600 Who compared you to Meryl Streep? 141 00:07:11,602 --> 00:07:13,502 Everyone! 142 00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,665 Come, lovable scamps. 143 00:07:20,110 --> 00:07:21,670 This is a disaster! 144 00:07:21,672 --> 00:07:24,652 If I can't spice this up, this show will be canceled before it even airs. 145 00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:28,045 And I cannot go back to producing monkey makeovers. 146 00:07:28,218 --> 00:07:32,648 I don't care how much eyeliner you put on them, they're just not pretty! 147 00:07:32,923 --> 00:07:35,933 Uh, hey, Corinne, you're missing some great stuff in here. 148 00:07:35,926 --> 00:07:38,786 I'm making lunch, while acting out Hamlet, 149 00:07:38,789 --> 00:07:40,689 with an actual ham! 150 00:07:42,833 --> 00:07:45,573 I told you, just do the things you normally do. 151 00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:46,836 Oh. This is. 152 00:07:46,837 --> 00:07:49,637 Last week I did Macbeth- aroni and cheese. 153 00:07:57,047 --> 00:08:00,507 I'm Zuri, and I have sass to spare! 154 00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,652 Please, no more catchphrases! 155 00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:08,815 So, I bet your sister Emma drives you crazy! 156 00:08:09,259 --> 00:08:11,059 Huh? No. 157 00:08:11,061 --> 00:08:12,961 But there's this girl at school, 158 00:08:12,963 --> 00:08:16,673 she's a combination of nasty and awful. 159 00:08:16,667 --> 00:08:18,527 She's nasty-ful. 160 00:08:19,229 --> 00:08:21,499 Ooh, a new catchphrase! 161 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,901 I'm gonna go print that on a bunch of diapers. 162 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,606 So, between us... 163 00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,838 What do you hate most about your nanny? 164 00:08:30,841 --> 00:08:33,681 I love Jessie! But I'll tell you what I do hate... 165 00:08:33,684 --> 00:08:35,824 What, what? Spill it, sister. 166 00:08:36,787 --> 00:08:38,987 Fashion atrocities. Like sweatpants, 167 00:08:38,989 --> 00:08:42,089 which are totes lame, and supes embarrassing. 168 00:08:42,092 --> 00:08:45,802 Also, socks with sandals, jackets with too many zippers... 169 00:08:45,796 --> 00:08:47,656 You mean like mine? 170 00:08:47,658 --> 00:08:49,758 Exactly! You're welcome. 171 00:08:52,262 --> 00:08:56,772 So Ravi, what bothers you most about your brother and sisters? 172 00:08:56,767 --> 00:08:59,167 Nothing! I wish I could shrink them, 173 00:08:59,169 --> 00:09:01,739 and carry them around in my pocket. 174 00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:04,142 FYI, I am working on the technology. 175 00:09:05,175 --> 00:09:08,645 Meanwhile, let me tell you about my dear sister, Emma... 176 00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:12,219 Oh! (CHUCKLING) Excuse me, I didn't know you were filming here. 177 00:09:12,222 --> 00:09:14,022 Hi, Morgan! Hi, Christina! 178 00:09:14,024 --> 00:09:17,664 Just doing what I always do, work, work, work! (CHUCKLES) 179 00:09:18,689 --> 00:09:22,629 The butler, on the other hand, can be very tiresome. 180 00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:31,138 So, Jessie, I hear it's almost two year nanniversary. 181 00:09:31,902 --> 00:09:35,052 You must be getting so sick of this job. 182 00:09:35,045 --> 00:09:37,075 Oh, no, no, I love the kids. 183 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:40,077 But I'm not just a nanny. I'm also an actress. 184 00:09:41,111 --> 00:09:43,111 So you say! 185 00:09:43,113 --> 00:09:44,213 Constantly! 186 00:09:45,155 --> 00:09:46,815 Okay, what have I seen you in? 187 00:09:47,718 --> 00:09:49,318 Does this show count? No. 188 00:09:49,319 --> 00:09:50,619 Then nothing. 189 00:09:51,662 --> 00:09:55,072 Ah, Jessie, I see you're still filming, 190 00:09:55,065 --> 00:09:57,325 while I am hard at work. 191 00:09:57,828 --> 00:09:59,768 Okay, if Bertram gets to pretend he's a working butler, 192 00:09:59,770 --> 00:10:01,930 I get to pretend I'm a working actress. 193 00:10:02,372 --> 00:10:06,842 BTW, go see Morgan Ross's brilliant new movie, Slugasaurus! 194 00:10:06,837 --> 00:10:10,007 (TV NARRATOR STYLE) "It leaves a slimy trail of terror!" 195 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:11,740 So do you. 196 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,016 I cannot wait to watch the first episode of my... 197 00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,089 I mean, our TV show! 198 00:10:23,093 --> 00:10:25,963 Aw, look. He fell asleep mid-clean. 199 00:10:26,697 --> 00:10:27,957 I'll wake him. 200 00:10:28,358 --> 00:10:29,898 (BERTRAM SNORING) 201 00:10:30,661 --> 00:10:32,231 (SHOUTING) Bertram! (SHRIEKS) 202 00:10:34,204 --> 00:10:37,674 Well, at least my face is now dust free. 203 00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:41,768 All this work is really getting in the way of my naps. 204 00:10:42,873 --> 00:10:46,183 You would think the 14 hours you get every night would be enough. 205 00:10:47,417 --> 00:10:49,747 I've seen cats sleep less. 206 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,780 (REALITY SHOW THEME PLAYING) 207 00:10:51,782 --> 00:10:53,182 (GASPS) It's starting! 208 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,230 I may not know what I'm doing, 209 00:11:02,232 --> 00:11:04,362 but I always look good doing it. 210 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,666 Ladies, take a number. 211 00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:11,700 Then give me yours. 212 00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,314 Bedtimes are for suckers! 213 00:11:19,409 --> 00:11:21,949 Oh, are we rolling? Should I speak now? 214 00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:24,923 (ALL LAUGHING) 215 00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:29,716 When you work for Morgan and Christina, it's no sweat! 216 00:11:34,164 --> 00:11:36,734 I'm a nanny pursuing her dream... 217 00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,471 "...of becoming an actress!" 218 00:11:42,472 --> 00:11:44,102 They cut that part out! 219 00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:46,484 This TV show is supposed to jump start my acting career, 220 00:11:46,476 --> 00:11:48,206 so I can finally do something I love. 221 00:11:51,141 --> 00:11:54,891 Not, not that I don't cherish every day with you guys. 222 00:11:56,787 --> 00:11:59,347 Let me tell you about my dear sister, Emma... 223 00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:03,220 She is a combination of nasty and awful. 224 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,063 She's nasty-ful. 225 00:12:05,796 --> 00:12:08,056 Hey! That was mean! 226 00:12:08,058 --> 00:12:09,458 I didn't say that! 227 00:12:09,459 --> 00:12:11,299 Well, TV Zuri just did! 228 00:12:12,502 --> 00:12:15,812 And how to describe my beloved sister, Zuri... 229 00:12:15,806 --> 00:12:18,236 Totes lame, and supes embarrassing. 230 00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:20,769 What did you just say about me? 231 00:12:20,771 --> 00:12:23,911 She said you were totes lame, and supes embarrassing. 232 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:30,216 I didn't say it about Zuri! I said it about wearing socks with sandals. 233 00:12:30,220 --> 00:12:31,750 (GASPS) 234 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,321 You told me I made them work! 235 00:12:34,324 --> 00:12:39,064 You will notice I made no disparaging comments about your excessive make-up! 236 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,829 BTW, the circus left town without you. 237 00:12:42,893 --> 00:12:44,433 (LUKE SCOFFING) 238 00:12:44,434 --> 00:12:48,244 How dare you? Oh, quiet, Bozo! This is my part! 239 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,770 When the ladies see me dancing, they'll be all over me. 240 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,082 LUKE: Check this out! (GROANS) 241 00:12:57,978 --> 00:13:00,548 I wouldn't have fallen if Bertram wasn't vacuuming! 242 00:13:00,550 --> 00:13:03,210 Did you know dust can get under furniture? 243 00:13:03,213 --> 00:13:04,923 This job is impossible! 244 00:13:06,516 --> 00:13:08,886 Why did they show the one time I fell? 245 00:13:09,119 --> 00:13:12,319 Okay guys, you're all overreacting. It's just a TV show. 246 00:13:13,123 --> 00:13:15,403 (LAUGHING) 247 00:13:15,826 --> 00:13:18,826 I just scratched myself in front of the whole country! 248 00:13:19,129 --> 00:13:21,169 Don't forget Canada. 249 00:13:25,035 --> 00:13:27,535 I can't believe I look so bad on television. 250 00:13:27,537 --> 00:13:30,477 I mean, I looked fabulous, but I looked bad. 251 00:13:31,541 --> 00:13:34,921 I can't believe I fell in front of the whole country. 252 00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:36,285 Don't forget Canada. 253 00:13:37,988 --> 00:13:40,018 If only someone would have warned us 254 00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:42,290 that we might come off looking like fools. 255 00:13:42,552 --> 00:13:45,202 Oh, wait! Someone did! 256 00:13:47,257 --> 00:13:50,597 Guys, relax. I doubt anyone even saw it. 257 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,560 Hey! You're those weirdos from the TV show! 258 00:13:54,905 --> 00:13:57,005 Always nice to meet a fan. 259 00:13:57,537 --> 00:14:00,367 OMG, you're Luke! You're my favorite! 260 00:14:00,370 --> 00:14:01,910 Why, thank you. 261 00:14:01,912 --> 00:14:04,952 So, uh, you girls don't think I looked bad when I fell? 262 00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:07,575 (ALL LAUGHING) Of course! You looked like a total klutz! 263 00:14:07,577 --> 00:14:10,847 Even worse than that hot mess in the socks with sandals. 264 00:14:11,922 --> 00:14:14,582 The hot mess has bunions! 265 00:14:15,986 --> 00:14:18,486 And you're the frumpy nanny! Hey, scratch yourself! 266 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,029 (SHUTTERS CLICKING) Will not! 267 00:14:21,331 --> 00:14:24,971 Hey, it's the mean queen, and the dumb catchphrase girl! 268 00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:27,065 Oh, yeah? Catch this. 269 00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:28,597 Luke, hold my hoops. 270 00:14:28,598 --> 00:14:30,468 (YELLING) 271 00:14:31,641 --> 00:14:34,641 Whoa, Emma was right. Zuri is embarrassing. 272 00:14:36,006 --> 00:14:39,646 For the last time, I was talking about Ravi's hideous choice of footwear! 273 00:14:39,649 --> 00:14:41,009 (GASPS) 274 00:14:41,011 --> 00:14:43,511 Ooh, look, mean girl's being mean again! 275 00:14:43,513 --> 00:14:45,563 (SCREECHING) I am not mean! 276 00:14:46,556 --> 00:14:49,916 Ow! You pummeled my piggies! 277 00:14:51,261 --> 00:14:53,061 Two can play at that game! 278 00:14:54,965 --> 00:14:56,195 (GRUNTING WITH EFFORT) 279 00:14:58,568 --> 00:15:01,598 Stand back, noodle arms! I've got this. 280 00:15:05,275 --> 00:15:07,575 Guys, stop! This is embarrassing. 281 00:15:07,577 --> 00:15:10,107 And I'm pretty sure I have to pay for all this food now! 282 00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:15,051 Thank goodness Corinne was not here to exploit my manly rage. 283 00:15:15,045 --> 00:15:16,485 Oh, I'm here. 284 00:15:16,486 --> 00:15:20,546 And this is going to make a delicious promo for next week's episode. 285 00:15:20,550 --> 00:15:22,490 We can't wait to watch! 286 00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:24,653 How do you sleep at night? 287 00:15:24,654 --> 00:15:27,334 Oh, warm milk and great ratings. 288 00:15:28,158 --> 00:15:29,528 Thanks! 289 00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:32,559 Come back here, you cold-blooded, disgusting reptile! 290 00:15:32,562 --> 00:15:34,062 (MRS. KIPLING SNARLING) 291 00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,536 You're lucky you're endangered. 292 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,176 Good, you're back! (ALL GROAN) 293 00:15:50,420 --> 00:15:52,220 Everyone still mad? 294 00:15:52,222 --> 00:15:54,652 (SING-SONG) I've got some key lime pies for you to throw at each other. 295 00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:57,556 And... Go! 296 00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:58,987 Okay, that's it. 297 00:15:58,989 --> 00:16:02,489 Your stupid reality show has done enough damage to this family. 298 00:16:02,492 --> 00:16:04,562 We quit! (CHUCKLES) 299 00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,074 You guys can't quit. 300 00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:09,666 If you break your contract, I'll sue you for everything you've got. 301 00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:12,699 Fine by me! I don't have anything! 302 00:16:12,702 --> 00:16:14,102 So, ha! 303 00:16:14,604 --> 00:16:16,614 Uh, Jessie? A word? 304 00:16:18,548 --> 00:16:23,408 Look, you may not be able to afford more than one topping on your pizza... 305 00:16:23,413 --> 00:16:25,993 But we are loaded like a baked potato! 306 00:16:27,617 --> 00:16:30,017 Glad we're on the same page. 307 00:16:30,020 --> 00:16:33,120 See you tomorrow night for your big nanniversary dinner, Jessie. 308 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:36,273 And remember, we're always watching. 309 00:16:43,373 --> 00:16:45,743 Zuri, did you just eat one of those pies? 310 00:16:46,136 --> 00:16:47,236 No! 311 00:16:51,041 --> 00:16:54,241 Okay, now that we're in the one place with no cameras... 312 00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:57,145 Wait, where's Zuri? 313 00:16:57,547 --> 00:17:00,447 ZURI: (MUFFLED) Buried under Bertram. 314 00:17:00,450 --> 00:17:01,690 (GROANS) 315 00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:06,033 What did you think that poking was? 316 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,128 (STOMACH GURGLING) Indigestion. 317 00:17:11,501 --> 00:17:15,071 Okay, so, since Corinne won't let us quit the show, 318 00:17:15,065 --> 00:17:16,305 here's the plan... (ELEVATOR DINGS) 319 00:17:18,568 --> 00:17:20,038 Really? 320 00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:22,571 (ALL GROANING) 321 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,683 Okay, we can't give Corinne anything to use against us, 322 00:17:25,675 --> 00:17:28,275 so from now on, we just have to be super nice to each other. 323 00:17:28,278 --> 00:17:30,248 I am nice! 324 00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:33,550 And if I hear one more snarky remark about my footwear, 325 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:36,193 someone will get a bunion to the butt! 326 00:17:37,387 --> 00:17:39,627 Please. The last time you tried to step on a cockroach, 327 00:17:39,629 --> 00:17:42,159 it pushed you over and took your lunch money. 328 00:17:42,592 --> 00:17:44,632 (CHUCKLES) Ravi's weak. 329 00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,696 This is exactly what I'm talking about! 330 00:17:48,698 --> 00:17:50,498 Look, if we want to get rid of Corinne, 331 00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:54,200 we have to be the nicest, most polite people on the face of the Earth. 332 00:17:54,704 --> 00:17:56,514 Okay! (SCREAM) 333 00:17:56,506 --> 00:17:59,546 Get these out of my face, or your head is next! 334 00:18:05,615 --> 00:18:07,855 Okay, that was an example of what not to do. 335 00:18:12,422 --> 00:18:15,332 Jessie, your nanniversary dinner is served. 336 00:18:15,625 --> 00:18:17,695 I do hope that later you will regale us 337 00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:21,267 with one of your magnificent dating stories. 338 00:18:21,271 --> 00:18:23,201 They are always so riveting. 339 00:18:24,474 --> 00:18:26,444 Oh, Bertram, you flatter me. 340 00:18:26,436 --> 00:18:30,476 And might I say that you are a fine man, with a sunny disposition, 341 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:31,880 and no weird hobbies at all. 342 00:18:35,685 --> 00:18:39,645 Dear sister, would you care for some more lemonade? 343 00:18:39,649 --> 00:18:41,589 Thank you, Zuri. How kind of you. 344 00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:49,263 Allow me to serenade you all with bird calls to help aid digestion. 345 00:18:49,259 --> 00:18:50,659 I give you 346 00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,201 the haunting loon. 347 00:18:54,864 --> 00:18:56,644 (MIMICKING BIRD CRY) 348 00:19:01,811 --> 00:19:04,811 That is the worst loon call I ever heard. 349 00:19:04,814 --> 00:19:07,384 And I worked on Loon Dynasty. 350 00:19:08,518 --> 00:19:09,878 I see what you're doing. 351 00:19:09,879 --> 00:19:12,619 You're trying to ruin my show by acting all nice. 352 00:19:13,523 --> 00:19:15,633 We're just being ourselves in front of the cameras, 353 00:19:15,625 --> 00:19:18,255 in full compliance with our contract. 354 00:19:19,689 --> 00:19:21,259 And what's wrong with being nice? 355 00:19:21,591 --> 00:19:23,431 (STOMACH GURGLING) (GASPS) 356 00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:26,473 Wow, you do have indigestion. 357 00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:29,566 Seriously, it sounds like The Last Days of Pompeii in there. 358 00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:34,301 Face it, Corinne. We're done being your puppets! 359 00:19:34,504 --> 00:19:35,514 JESSIE: Yeah. 360 00:19:35,905 --> 00:19:37,645 This family may not be perfect, 361 00:19:37,647 --> 00:19:39,447 but we do love each other. 362 00:19:39,449 --> 00:19:41,549 And that's as real as it gets. 363 00:19:41,551 --> 00:19:42,811 Real? 364 00:19:42,812 --> 00:19:46,462 Reality shows are about as real as my expense report! 365 00:19:47,557 --> 00:19:49,387 My idiotic bosses 366 00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:52,919 and the knuckle-draggers who watch these shows expect drama! 367 00:19:52,922 --> 00:19:54,662 So, stop eating that food, 368 00:19:54,664 --> 00:19:56,704 and start throwing it at each other! 369 00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:01,868 Don't you think your bosses and the viewers might be offended 370 00:20:01,871 --> 00:20:03,471 if they heard what you just said? 371 00:20:03,473 --> 00:20:06,543 What, did you get that from, "Duh Magazine"? 372 00:20:06,536 --> 00:20:08,406 Of course they would. 373 00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:11,738 But, I edit all the footage, so no one will see it, but me. 374 00:20:11,741 --> 00:20:14,811 I wouldn't be so sure about that. Luke, now! 375 00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,224 Ha ha! 376 00:20:16,686 --> 00:20:18,446 Grab that memory card! 377 00:20:18,448 --> 00:20:21,348 That's how we do, son! Beast! Yow! 378 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:23,722 Emma! 379 00:20:24,254 --> 00:20:25,264 Jessie! 380 00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:27,495 No! Give me that! 381 00:20:27,497 --> 00:20:28,597 Ravi, go long! 382 00:20:28,598 --> 00:20:32,758 If that is a sports term, it is totally lost on me. 383 00:20:32,762 --> 00:20:35,612 Just run, catch this, and upload it to the Internet! 384 00:20:35,605 --> 00:20:38,005 CORINNE: (SHRIEKING) No! 385 00:20:38,007 --> 00:20:39,707 (SNARLING) 386 00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:43,641 Better run before Mrs. Kipling gets real... 387 00:20:44,274 --> 00:20:45,854 Real hungry! (SNARLS) 388 00:20:46,716 --> 00:20:48,646 (SCREAMING) 389 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:51,620 You're all fired! 390 00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:53,622 Good riddance! 391 00:20:53,623 --> 00:20:54,853 I hope we never see you again! 392 00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:56,664 Unless you get a network show. 393 00:20:57,627 --> 00:20:59,757 I'll... I'll send you my headshot! 394 00:21:01,891 --> 00:21:04,291 Hey, a girl's got to try. 395 00:21:05,735 --> 00:21:07,995 Well, at least now we can all get back to normal. 396 00:21:07,997 --> 00:21:09,637 (SNORING) 397 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,770 (CHUCKLES) Bertram already has. 398 00:21:14,644 --> 00:21:15,954 Well, you can't blame him. 399 00:21:15,945 --> 00:21:18,375 He did work three whole hours this week. 400 00:21:21,010 --> 00:21:23,680 Aw, he's so cute. 401 00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:25,463 (STOMACH GURGLING) 402 00:21:25,815 --> 00:21:28,555 I think he's gonna blow! Run! 403 00:21:33,763 --> 00:21:37,033 Jessie, I know the reality show didn't end up helping your acting career, 404 00:21:37,026 --> 00:21:38,426 but look on the bright side. 405 00:21:38,428 --> 00:21:39,468 What would that be? 406 00:21:39,869 --> 00:21:41,899 I don't know. I was hoping you had something. 407 00:21:44,674 --> 00:21:47,844 Well, it did bring us closer together as a family, 408 00:21:47,837 --> 00:21:50,837 and I'm glad we can finally get rid of these stupid surveillance cameras. 409 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:54,640 Me too. Now we can just go back to being ordinary kids. 410 00:21:54,644 --> 00:21:57,924 You know, most ordinary kids don't have two private islands. 411 00:21:58,618 --> 00:22:00,348 That is so sad. 412 00:22:04,424 --> 00:22:07,634 Zuri, I said collect the cameras, not destroy them. 413 00:22:07,627 --> 00:22:10,557 I know. But breaking stuff is fun. 414 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,630 On a related note, you need a new lamp for your bedroom. 415 00:22:14,964 --> 00:22:17,614 Jessie, come quick! Corinne is back with her camera crew! 416 00:22:17,607 --> 00:22:20,407 What? I'm going to do the Texas two-step on her... 417 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:21,940 Hey! A party! 418 00:22:23,042 --> 00:22:25,882 ALL: Happy Nanniversary! 419 00:22:25,875 --> 00:22:29,575 Aw, guys... I don't know what to say, except... 420 00:22:29,579 --> 00:22:30,819 Who's "Jassie?" 421 00:22:32,922 --> 00:22:35,562 I'm sorry, I'm still really tired. 422 00:22:35,555 --> 00:22:39,025 There's a 75% chance I iced the cake with lard. 423 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,960 Guys, thank you so much. 424 00:22:45,134 --> 00:22:48,774 Look, I would not trade the last two years with you all for anything. 425 00:22:49,469 --> 00:22:50,739 Neither would we. 426 00:22:50,740 --> 00:22:53,140 I'd trade all of you guys for a week in Key West. 427 00:22:54,644 --> 00:22:57,654 But let's have some nanniversary cake! (CHUCKLES) 428 00:22:57,647 --> 00:22:59,847 Aw, guys this is beautiful. 429 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:01,810 Yep, lard.