1 00:00:08,139 --> 00:00:09,679 JESSIE: Oh! Sweet outfit. 2 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:12,410 And not everyone needs a girlfriend. 3 00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:16,094 I am running for Reptile Club President. 4 00:00:16,087 --> 00:00:19,617 It is a fiercely competitive election, so I am turning up the heat. 5 00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,650 You might want to turn it back down. 6 00:00:23,254 --> 00:00:25,464 You seems like the obvious choice for that office. 7 00:00:25,456 --> 00:00:27,126 I can't believe anyone else would even run. 8 00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:28,798 I can't believe there's anyone else who cares. 9 00:00:30,361 --> 00:00:31,661 Or anyone else in that club. 10 00:00:33,304 --> 00:00:35,744 Why you guys having the election in the park? 11 00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:37,406 We're not allowed to use the school 12 00:00:37,408 --> 00:00:40,508 ever since Mrs. Kipling turned the class hamster habitat 13 00:00:40,511 --> 00:00:41,771 into an all-you-can-eat buffet. 14 00:00:44,115 --> 00:00:47,215 Don't forget to reupholster the couch in Zuri's dollhouse, 15 00:00:47,218 --> 00:00:48,678 and make sure the kids' formal wear 16 00:00:48,679 --> 00:00:50,579 is ready for Morgan's movie premiere next week. 17 00:00:50,581 --> 00:00:52,281 Do you have all of my bags? 18 00:00:52,283 --> 00:00:53,623 Surprisingly, no. 19 00:00:55,226 --> 00:00:57,186 But I'll get this batch down to the car. 20 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,058 Uh, Mom, 21 00:01:00,091 --> 00:01:02,631 before you leave, could you help me with something? 22 00:01:02,633 --> 00:01:04,673 I'm doing a report on my family history. 23 00:01:05,096 --> 00:01:07,636 I wanted to ask you about my birth family. 24 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:11,070 Oh... 25 00:01:12,403 --> 00:01:13,703 Uh... Now? 26 00:01:15,606 --> 00:01:16,606 Uh... 27 00:01:18,149 --> 00:01:19,349 So... 28 00:01:19,350 --> 00:01:20,350 What do you want to know? 29 00:01:20,611 --> 00:01:24,421 Uh, just stuff like who my parents were, 30 00:01:24,415 --> 00:01:25,855 and where I'm from. 31 00:01:25,856 --> 00:01:28,216 Now that I've accepted it's not Krypton. 32 00:01:30,121 --> 00:01:31,791 Is there any way we could have this conversation 33 00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:33,762 when I get back from my trip? 34 00:01:33,764 --> 00:01:35,634 Or after you have grandkids? 35 00:01:37,568 --> 00:01:39,328 See you in a few days. 36 00:01:39,330 --> 00:01:41,730 Love you! Love you! 37 00:01:41,732 --> 00:01:43,802 Love you! Love you! 38 00:01:45,336 --> 00:01:47,336 Aw, I feel like part of the family. 39 00:01:48,279 --> 00:01:49,779 Of course you are. (CHUCKLES) 40 00:01:49,780 --> 00:01:50,780 (SNIFFING) 41 00:01:51,842 --> 00:01:53,482 Quit using my shampoo. 42 00:01:55,646 --> 00:01:58,546 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh 43 00:01:58,549 --> 00:02:02,119 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 44 00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:05,803 ♪ It feels like a party every day 45 00:02:05,796 --> 00:02:09,556 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 46 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:13,130 ♪ But they keep on pulling me every which way 47 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:16,543 ♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie 48 00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:19,707 ♪ My whole world is changing Turning around 49 00:02:19,910 --> 00:02:23,670 ♪ They got me going crazy Yeah, they're shaking the ground 50 00:02:23,674 --> 00:02:27,454 ♪ But they took a chance on the new girl in town 51 00:02:27,678 --> 00:02:30,848 ♪ And I don't want to let them down, down, down 52 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,621 ♪ Hey Jessie 53 00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:35,885 ♪ Hey Jessie 54 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:41,558 ♪ It feels like a party every day 55 00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:45,172 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie ♪ 56 00:02:51,602 --> 00:02:54,552 Hello, Captain Firestorm! 57 00:02:56,447 --> 00:02:57,947 My temperature is rising. 58 00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,610 Jessie? Uh, I was just burning up, 59 00:03:01,612 --> 00:03:02,612 I mean, cleaning up. 60 00:03:04,315 --> 00:03:08,315 For the last time, Captain Firestorm is way out of your league. 61 00:03:09,460 --> 00:03:10,490 I know. 62 00:03:12,563 --> 00:03:16,473 Anyway, could you please ask Mom to talk to me about my birth parents? 63 00:03:16,467 --> 00:03:17,927 All I know is they were from Detroit, 64 00:03:17,928 --> 00:03:19,598 and incredibly good looking. 65 00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:21,601 How do you know that? 66 00:03:21,832 --> 00:03:23,432 Hello! 67 00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,636 I wonder which one you get the modesty from. 68 00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:30,309 Come on, Jessie. 69 00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:32,511 I don't want to wait till I'm older to find out about my background. 70 00:03:32,743 --> 00:03:34,993 Luke, I understand how you feel. 71 00:03:34,985 --> 00:03:36,945 Okay? It's natural to want answers. 72 00:03:37,648 --> 00:03:40,418 But Christina obviously isn't ready to pursue this right now. 73 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:41,751 And I have to respect that. 74 00:03:41,752 --> 00:03:43,552 Where was all this respect when you used 75 00:03:43,554 --> 00:03:46,604 Mom's Business Woman of the Year award to kill that cockroach? 76 00:03:47,298 --> 00:03:49,558 I had no choice! The bug spray only made it angry! 77 00:03:51,502 --> 00:03:52,662 Listen, Luke, 78 00:03:52,663 --> 00:03:54,273 I am so sorry that I can't help you with this. 79 00:03:55,506 --> 00:03:59,666 But I can help you organize your comic book collection. 80 00:03:59,670 --> 00:04:01,310 (CHUCKLES) 81 00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:05,945 How long has it been since you've had a date? 82 00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:06,946 Too long. 83 00:04:12,283 --> 00:04:13,683 (BERTRAM SNORING) 84 00:04:15,726 --> 00:04:17,886 Bertram! (GASPING) 85 00:04:19,490 --> 00:04:22,590 Why are you not painting my campaign poster? 86 00:04:22,993 --> 00:04:25,943 Oh! Because Mrs. Kipling took my brush. 87 00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,968 Also, I don't care. 88 00:04:31,742 --> 00:04:33,002 I'm done. 89 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,614 "Vote for Ravi, or else?" Or else what? 90 00:04:36,907 --> 00:04:39,877 You may not have noticed. But these guns have no ammo. 91 00:04:41,652 --> 00:04:43,652 How did you ever win last year? 92 00:04:43,654 --> 00:04:45,524 I ran unopposed. 93 00:04:45,516 --> 00:04:46,556 Still. 94 00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:49,889 Oh, look at your opponent. 95 00:04:50,521 --> 00:04:52,691 Eileen's over there, schmoozing the band nerds. 96 00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:53,893 (SIGHS) 97 00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:57,504 Oh, dear. If she locks up the marching band vote, 98 00:04:57,498 --> 00:05:01,698 I am doomed! There is a huge overlap with the Reptile Club. 99 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,543 Hello there, Ravi. 100 00:05:04,535 --> 00:05:06,505 How's the losing campaign going? 101 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:09,507 The losing campaign is going just fine! 102 00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:11,480 Wait, I did not mean that. 103 00:05:11,482 --> 00:05:13,582 Did I just concede? Wow. 104 00:05:13,884 --> 00:05:17,024 Winning this campaign will be a slither in the park. 105 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:18,588 Right, Corny? 106 00:05:19,890 --> 00:05:23,050 Eileen, your Reptile Club platform is a crock... 107 00:05:23,554 --> 00:05:24,864 ...odile! (LAUGHING) 108 00:05:26,597 --> 00:05:27,597 Oh! 109 00:05:27,798 --> 00:05:29,658 Okay, clearly you need help. 110 00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:34,032 I'm taking over as your campaign manager. 111 00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,574 What does that mean exactly? 112 00:05:35,566 --> 00:05:37,766 I tell you what to do and you do it. 113 00:05:38,068 --> 00:05:40,568 Oh, so pretty much business as usual. 114 00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:50,649 (SIGHS) Luke, this is killing me. 115 00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,651 What? Seeing me upset? 116 00:05:53,424 --> 00:05:55,564 No, the incredibly annoying sound of you 117 00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:57,086 bouncing this ball for the last hour. 118 00:06:00,631 --> 00:06:01,731 Look... 119 00:06:01,732 --> 00:06:03,762 What if I helped you find your birth parents? 120 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,844 You, help me? 121 00:06:06,837 --> 00:06:07,997 Why? 122 00:06:07,998 --> 00:06:11,368 Because if I were adopted, I would want to know. 123 00:06:11,902 --> 00:06:14,652 Plus, there's a lot about you that needs explaining. 124 00:06:15,706 --> 00:06:18,546 Okay, the gas thing is because of Bertram's cooking. 125 00:06:20,050 --> 00:06:21,410 Listen, 126 00:06:21,412 --> 00:06:25,092 Mom keeps all her important documents in the locked desk drawer. 127 00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:27,415 Maybe it will have information about your adoption. 128 00:06:27,618 --> 00:06:29,118 Good thinking, Emma. 129 00:06:29,119 --> 00:06:32,519 We can get dynamite from Dad's special effects guy to blow it open. 130 00:06:34,425 --> 00:06:36,625 Or, Jessie has a set of keys in her purse. 131 00:06:36,627 --> 00:06:40,067 So, we use the dynamite to blow up Jessie's purse! 132 00:06:41,532 --> 00:06:42,602 (SIGHS) 133 00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:44,133 I'm already regretting helping you. 134 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:49,178 Here she comes. 135 00:06:50,581 --> 00:06:52,111 Jessie, can I talk to you? 136 00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:54,792 Oh, I would love to, but I have a killer cavity, 137 00:06:54,785 --> 00:06:55,985 and I'm already late for the dentist. 138 00:06:56,787 --> 00:06:58,647 Could we talk when I get back? 139 00:06:59,049 --> 00:07:00,949 I was just wondering how old you have to be to get married? 140 00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:07,195 On second thought, I can chew on the other side of my mouth. 141 00:07:08,499 --> 00:07:10,659 Okay, why are you talking about getting married? 142 00:07:11,502 --> 00:07:13,462 Because I met this really cute guy, 143 00:07:13,464 --> 00:07:15,814 and I can't visit him in prison unless I'm his wife. 144 00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:19,567 Okay, I wouldn't let you date that guy who got detention, 145 00:07:19,570 --> 00:07:20,870 so this is out of the question. 146 00:07:22,873 --> 00:07:25,683 (SOBBING) Uh... But I love him! 147 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:30,979 On the other hand, I'm too young to be in love. 148 00:07:32,523 --> 00:07:33,853 It's over! 149 00:07:35,686 --> 00:07:38,586 Okay, those feelings receded faster than my gum line. 150 00:07:40,230 --> 00:07:41,590 Have fun at the dentist! 151 00:07:41,592 --> 00:07:42,692 And just so we're clear, 152 00:07:42,693 --> 00:07:44,973 you are not allowed to get married before I do. 153 00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:48,467 Amazing work, Emma. 154 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,598 Why haven't we teamed up before? 155 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,640 Probably because I generally find you pretty repulsive. 156 00:07:54,645 --> 00:07:56,045 Let's see... 157 00:07:56,507 --> 00:07:58,547 Bills, passports... 158 00:07:59,009 --> 00:08:01,909 Whoa, check it out. 159 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,493 Here's some stuff about my birth mom! 160 00:08:05,756 --> 00:08:07,856 Her name is Vanessa Colson! 161 00:08:08,258 --> 00:08:10,618 And your middle name is... Dilbert. 162 00:08:11,622 --> 00:08:12,892 (LAUGHING) 163 00:08:13,524 --> 00:08:16,204 Now I know the first question I'm gonna ask my birth mom. 164 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,932 EILEEN: Ravi K. Ross. 165 00:08:23,934 --> 00:08:26,584 How can he take care of the Reptile Club 166 00:08:26,577 --> 00:08:28,777 when he needs his nanny to take care of him? 167 00:08:29,079 --> 00:08:32,139 Come here! You have schmutz on your face! 168 00:08:32,142 --> 00:08:33,142 Jesse! 169 00:08:34,545 --> 00:08:36,545 I am Eileen Miller. 170 00:08:36,547 --> 00:08:38,247 And I approve this message. 171 00:08:38,789 --> 00:08:40,749 Paid for with hard-earned babysitting money. 172 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,622 (LAUGHING) 173 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,804 That was hysterical! Play it again! Play it again! 174 00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:52,560 You know what? Send me the link. I'll watch it later. 175 00:08:54,565 --> 00:08:56,605 I can never come back from this slander! 176 00:08:56,807 --> 00:08:57,807 I am ruined! 177 00:08:58,068 --> 00:08:59,908 We can still win this thing! 178 00:08:59,910 --> 00:09:03,110 We need to fire back and say negative things about her. 179 00:09:03,574 --> 00:09:06,584 Zuri, there is no place for venom in the Reptile Club. 180 00:09:06,577 --> 00:09:09,617 Except, of course, in the glands of the more poisonous species. 181 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:14,221 In politics, you gotta get down and dirty. 182 00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:18,585 And lucky for you, I hate baths. 183 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,703 Luke, look at this! 184 00:09:24,695 --> 00:09:28,065 I found a Vanessa Colson who lived in Detroit around the time you were born, 185 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,638 and it seems like you two have a lot in common. 186 00:09:30,641 --> 00:09:32,641 Really? 'Cause I can't find anything. 187 00:09:34,244 --> 00:09:36,654 It helps if you spell "Detroit" correctly. 188 00:09:38,208 --> 00:09:39,278 And "Mom." 189 00:09:44,615 --> 00:09:48,585 "The Motor City Mauler is a world-class female wrestler, 190 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,758 "also known by her real name, Vanessa Colson." 191 00:09:51,662 --> 00:09:53,322 My mom's a wrestler? 192 00:09:53,323 --> 00:09:54,773 This is amazing! 193 00:09:56,066 --> 00:09:59,626 That's not all. Her signature move is called the "Pit of Pain." 194 00:09:59,630 --> 00:10:01,930 "She knocks people out with her armpit stench, 195 00:10:01,932 --> 00:10:03,772 "then dances around them in victory!" 196 00:10:06,937 --> 00:10:08,337 Like mother, like son. 197 00:10:11,942 --> 00:10:14,112 Luke, it's okay to cry. 198 00:10:14,745 --> 00:10:16,915 You must be going through so many emotions right now. 199 00:10:17,147 --> 00:10:19,787 That, and I caught a whiff of my armpit stench. 200 00:10:22,192 --> 00:10:24,322 Sometimes it even takes me by surprise. 201 00:10:28,699 --> 00:10:30,299 But if we hadn't taken your keys, 202 00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:32,400 we never would have found out Luke's birth mom is a wrestler 203 00:10:32,402 --> 00:10:33,962 named Vanessa Colson. 204 00:10:33,964 --> 00:10:36,314 And she's got a match in New York this afternoon! 205 00:10:36,306 --> 00:10:39,206 Clearly, it's fate! Please, please, please, can I go? 206 00:10:39,209 --> 00:10:41,039 She leaves town tomorrow, and I need to meet her! 207 00:10:41,872 --> 00:10:44,412 Luke, I know this is huge for you, 208 00:10:44,414 --> 00:10:48,024 but meeting her is something that your parents should be here for. 209 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:50,649 I just can't let you go. 210 00:10:51,782 --> 00:10:53,152 I am so sorry. 211 00:10:53,824 --> 00:10:55,094 You should be. 212 00:10:55,085 --> 00:10:57,725 This could be the most important night of my life, 213 00:10:57,958 --> 00:10:59,258 and you won't help me! 214 00:11:03,093 --> 00:11:05,303 I rarely say this, but you're wrong. 215 00:11:05,796 --> 00:11:07,196 You say it all the time! 216 00:11:08,398 --> 00:11:10,298 Do not! See? You're wrong again. 217 00:11:14,304 --> 00:11:16,984 Wow, Emma and Luke seem really upset. 218 00:11:17,247 --> 00:11:19,107 Kudos! What's your secret? 219 00:11:20,951 --> 00:11:22,451 Bertram, this is serious. 220 00:11:22,452 --> 00:11:25,792 Today might be Luke's only chance to meet his birth mom, Vanessa Colson. 221 00:11:26,316 --> 00:11:28,116 This doesn't say Colson. 222 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,158 It says "Olson." 223 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,220 The "C" is blackberry jam. 224 00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:36,004 What? Sometimes I snack when I'm filing. 225 00:11:37,868 --> 00:11:40,468 Wait, so Luke's been searching for the wrong woman! 226 00:11:40,470 --> 00:11:43,130 Thank goodness I didn't let him go down to that wrestling match. 227 00:11:43,133 --> 00:11:46,213 Oh. you mean the wrestling match Luke just told me they were going to? 228 00:11:46,476 --> 00:11:48,176 Wait, wait. They snuck out? 229 00:11:48,178 --> 00:11:49,808 After I told them not to? 230 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:53,240 Does anyone in this house listen to anything I say? 231 00:11:53,744 --> 00:11:55,294 I'm sorry, I didn't catch that last part. 232 00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,151 (GRUNTS) 233 00:12:03,894 --> 00:12:05,364 (CROWD CHEERING) 234 00:12:05,956 --> 00:12:08,226 My birth mom is amazing! 235 00:12:09,259 --> 00:12:12,429 Luke, I'm so happy I can be here to share this touching moment. 236 00:12:13,403 --> 00:12:15,913 Rip her lips off, Mom! 237 00:12:20,370 --> 00:12:22,440 Kids! I need to tell you... EMMA: Jessie? 238 00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,952 Why are you dressed like you just clashed with some titans? 239 00:12:26,376 --> 00:12:27,346 The match was all sold out, 240 00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:29,417 so I had to sneak past security! 241 00:12:29,419 --> 00:12:32,319 I swiped this from Cindy the Slammin' Centurion. 242 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:33,782 How did you guys get in? 243 00:12:34,084 --> 00:12:35,494 We told them our parents were famous. 244 00:12:35,485 --> 00:12:37,125 It opens a lot of doors. 245 00:12:37,127 --> 00:12:39,427 Zuri is playing hide-and-seek with the Obamas on Monday. 246 00:12:40,791 --> 00:12:42,361 Luke, I have to tell you... 247 00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:43,392 Look out! 248 00:12:46,496 --> 00:12:48,466 Who's up next to get mauled? 249 00:12:49,439 --> 00:12:51,399 You are Cindy the Centurion, right? 250 00:12:51,401 --> 00:12:53,441 No, I'm Jessie the Gentle. 251 00:12:54,404 --> 00:12:55,414 (GRUNTS) 252 00:12:55,405 --> 00:12:57,175 I don't wanna get mauled! 253 00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:58,477 I don't wanna get mauled! 254 00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:01,879 Mom! That's your future daughter-in law! 255 00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:03,482 Don't mess up her face! 256 00:13:08,418 --> 00:13:12,018 Of course I'll record Ravi's speech for you, Christina. 257 00:13:12,022 --> 00:13:14,192 I wouldn't miss it for the world. 258 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:15,904 Okay, bye, bye. 259 00:13:16,366 --> 00:13:17,566 (SOFTLY) Hey, kid... 260 00:13:17,567 --> 00:13:21,097 You want to earn a crisp dollar bill? Just point and shoot. 261 00:13:21,932 --> 00:13:24,302 I got a peach-mango smoothie calling my name. 262 00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:32,878 Only six kids showed up for the election? That's pathetic. 263 00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:35,353 No, six is a record turnout! 264 00:13:35,345 --> 00:13:37,345 In your face, Haiku Club! 265 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,049 Zuri, I do not know 266 00:13:41,051 --> 00:13:44,221 if I am comfortable with saying negative things about Eileen. 267 00:13:44,494 --> 00:13:46,234 If you elect me as president, 268 00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,526 I promise to knock it out of the park! 269 00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:51,128 Something my opponent can't do, 270 00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:53,931 judging by his infamous tryouts for the baseball team. 271 00:13:55,365 --> 00:13:57,005 That is it. 272 00:13:57,007 --> 00:13:58,107 I am in. 273 00:13:58,108 --> 00:14:00,438 How do we play this game of dirty politics? 274 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,970 Like this. 275 00:14:05,015 --> 00:14:06,015 Uh! 276 00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:11,519 This is much more literal than I expected. 277 00:14:12,482 --> 00:14:14,052 Now just follow my lead, 278 00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:15,864 and we'll bring this thing home. 279 00:14:16,286 --> 00:14:18,286 Listen up, lizard lovers! 280 00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:20,388 Eileen doesn't just own a snake, 281 00:14:20,390 --> 00:14:22,130 she is a snake! 282 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,232 What are you talking about? 283 00:14:24,234 --> 00:14:26,144 Eileen tied Ravi up 284 00:14:26,136 --> 00:14:28,296 and sicced her snake, Corny, on him! 285 00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:31,570 (GROWLING) 286 00:14:33,443 --> 00:14:36,283 It's only because of his tiny, bird-like wrists 287 00:14:36,506 --> 00:14:38,206 that he was able to escape! 288 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,509 Yes. 289 00:14:40,510 --> 00:14:42,280 Every word she utters is true. 290 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,453 And a little hurtful. 291 00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:49,516 Do you really want someone running the Reptile Club 292 00:14:49,519 --> 00:14:52,059 who uses their reptile for evil? 293 00:14:53,063 --> 00:14:54,063 ALL: No! 294 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:58,404 ALL: (CHANTING) Ravi, Ravi, Ravi, Ravi. 295 00:14:59,129 --> 00:15:00,129 Thank you. 296 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,601 Yeah... Actually, I don't have a dollar. 297 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:09,376 Please, please, I'm not really a wrestler. 298 00:15:09,379 --> 00:15:11,539 No kidding. You're way too skinny. 299 00:15:11,541 --> 00:15:13,341 Oh! Thank you! My secret weapon is kale. 300 00:15:13,343 --> 00:15:14,913 (GRUNTS) 301 00:15:15,145 --> 00:15:16,445 (CROWD CHEERING) 302 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,418 (CROWD CHEERING) 303 00:15:33,363 --> 00:15:35,143 So, Jessie... 304 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:37,165 What do you think of my birth mom, huh? 305 00:15:37,407 --> 00:15:39,537 Luke, she's not your... (SCREAMS) 306 00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:40,539 (GRUNTS) 307 00:15:40,710 --> 00:15:42,470 Okay, now I'm getting mad! 308 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,247 (GRUNTS) 309 00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:50,719 Yes! That is what's up! 310 00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:53,351 Thank you. Thank you. (CROWD BOOING) 311 00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:57,464 Oh, but she can give me a brain-buster and it's okay? 312 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:58,987 (CROWD BOOING) 313 00:15:58,989 --> 00:16:01,259 I know you did not just clothesline my momma! 314 00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,031 Luke... (GRUNTS) 315 00:16:06,196 --> 00:16:10,396 Okay, I know I had something important to tell one of you. 316 00:16:12,602 --> 00:16:15,212 Finish her, Mom! Let's give her the Pit of Pain! 317 00:16:15,205 --> 00:16:16,245 Yeah! 318 00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:18,507 (BOTH YELLING) 319 00:16:21,411 --> 00:16:22,411 Yeah! 320 00:16:24,514 --> 00:16:25,524 (BELL RINGING) 321 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:27,486 (LAUGHING) 322 00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:31,759 Kid, you're a natural! 323 00:16:31,761 --> 00:16:33,361 That was some powerful funk. 324 00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:37,434 Well, the funk doesn't fall far from the pit, 325 00:16:37,427 --> 00:16:38,667 if you know what I mean. 326 00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:40,469 I don't have a clue. 327 00:16:41,231 --> 00:16:42,371 (PANTING) Luke... 328 00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:45,043 Luke... Luke... 329 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,137 I've been trying to tell you. 330 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,509 She's not your birth mom. 331 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,011 You read the name wrong. 332 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,242 I'm so sorry. 333 00:16:54,484 --> 00:16:55,524 What? 334 00:16:57,387 --> 00:16:58,387 So... 335 00:16:58,588 --> 00:17:00,448 You never had a son who got adopted? 336 00:17:00,790 --> 00:17:02,490 No. I'm sorry, kid. 337 00:17:04,054 --> 00:17:06,534 But I like the cut of your jib, and the stink of your pit. 338 00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:08,627 Thanks. 339 00:17:12,262 --> 00:17:13,462 Aw, man. 340 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,673 I hate to see people in pain. 341 00:17:16,366 --> 00:17:18,536 Really? 'Cause you kind of broke my nanny. 342 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:25,152 I can't believe you two lied! 343 00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:27,815 You lied first! We just did it better. 344 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,379 Well, I would have been a better president. 345 00:17:31,381 --> 00:17:32,451 I have great ideas, 346 00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:35,692 like opening up the club up to amphibian lovers. 347 00:17:36,386 --> 00:17:38,256 Actually, that is a great idea. 348 00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:40,088 Why did you not say that earlier? 349 00:17:40,090 --> 00:17:41,630 I may have even voted for you. 350 00:17:42,092 --> 00:17:45,172 Ravi! You are the worst candidate ever! 351 00:17:46,536 --> 00:17:49,236 Okay, I counted all six votes, 352 00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,269 and one retainer. 353 00:17:51,841 --> 00:17:52,841 EILEEN: Hey! 354 00:17:53,303 --> 00:17:56,253 We should have had an impartial third party counting the votes. 355 00:17:56,546 --> 00:17:57,776 Trust me, 356 00:17:57,777 --> 00:18:00,247 you couldn't find anyone else on this planet 357 00:18:00,250 --> 00:18:02,380 that cares less about how this turns out. 358 00:18:04,454 --> 00:18:06,464 And now the news you've all, 359 00:18:06,456 --> 00:18:08,786 inexplicably, been waiting for... 360 00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:12,419 Your new Reptile Club president is... 361 00:18:13,423 --> 00:18:14,463 Ravi K. Ross! 362 00:18:14,464 --> 00:18:16,234 (ALL CHEERING) 363 00:18:19,729 --> 00:18:21,629 Thank you, thank you... 364 00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:26,142 People say school elections are just popularity contests. 365 00:18:26,436 --> 00:18:28,236 Given my victory today, 366 00:18:28,238 --> 00:18:30,338 we have proven them wrong! 367 00:18:30,340 --> 00:18:31,880 (ALL CHEERING) 368 00:18:33,543 --> 00:18:35,893 But I cannot accept the position. 369 00:18:38,448 --> 00:18:39,748 This isn't peach-mango! 370 00:18:39,749 --> 00:18:41,419 It's just regular mango! 371 00:18:46,496 --> 00:18:48,856 I do not deserve to be your president. 372 00:18:48,858 --> 00:18:51,298 Eileen and Corny did not rough me up. 373 00:18:51,301 --> 00:18:52,701 My 9-year-old sister did. 374 00:18:53,703 --> 00:18:54,703 (ALL BOOING) 375 00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:57,366 Wow. 376 00:18:57,367 --> 00:18:59,567 I did not think he could get any less popular. 377 00:19:01,471 --> 00:19:04,141 Why don't both of you just become President, 378 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,623 so we can all go home? 379 00:19:07,217 --> 00:19:09,177 Eileen, what do you think? 380 00:19:09,179 --> 00:19:10,379 I don't know... 381 00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:14,520 Why not? After all, you're both passionate about this lame club. 382 00:19:15,325 --> 00:19:16,555 (ALL BOOING) 383 00:19:17,627 --> 00:19:20,387 There's only six of you! Take a hint! 384 00:19:23,593 --> 00:19:27,473 You know what, Ravi? I'd be honored. 385 00:19:27,897 --> 00:19:30,797 Let's seal it with an official Reptile Club salute. 386 00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:33,842 (HISSING) 387 00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:39,875 Then may I present to you, your co-nerd leaders, 388 00:19:40,610 --> 00:19:42,650 Ravi and Eileen! 389 00:19:42,652 --> 00:19:44,182 (ALL CHEERING) 390 00:19:46,216 --> 00:19:47,556 I never thought I'd say this, 391 00:19:47,557 --> 00:19:48,917 but can I get back to work now? 392 00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:58,897 Luke, 393 00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:02,298 I am so sorry The Mauler didn't turn out to be your birth mom. 394 00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:06,442 Me too. You must be crushed, like my knee cap. 395 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,509 I just wanted to know more about where I came from. 396 00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:14,242 Well, 397 00:20:14,444 --> 00:20:16,754 then when your mom gets home, you should tell her how you feel. 398 00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:18,987 I can't. You heard her. 399 00:20:18,988 --> 00:20:20,688 She doesn't want to talk about this. 400 00:20:20,690 --> 00:20:22,320 Talk about what? 401 00:20:22,552 --> 00:20:23,452 Um... 402 00:20:23,453 --> 00:20:25,533 I'm going to go watch something educational... 403 00:20:26,496 --> 00:20:27,826 On the Fashion Channel. 404 00:20:29,299 --> 00:20:31,559 Well, that was obviously just an excuse to leave. 405 00:20:31,561 --> 00:20:35,441 We all know the Fashion Channel has nothing left to teach her. 406 00:20:36,906 --> 00:20:38,966 So, what's going on? 407 00:20:40,670 --> 00:20:41,770 Um... 408 00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:44,673 Go for it, Luke. 409 00:20:45,375 --> 00:20:46,375 You can do it. 410 00:20:49,519 --> 00:20:51,279 Okay. Um, Mom... 411 00:20:52,682 --> 00:20:55,532 I really need to learn more about my birth parents. 412 00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:58,555 There's just so much I don't know about myself. 413 00:20:58,828 --> 00:21:00,728 Like, why do I have freckles? 414 00:21:00,730 --> 00:21:02,460 Why am I a good dancer? 415 00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:04,733 Why am I terrible at math? 416 00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:07,274 Well, if you just applied yourself a little bit more... 417 00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:11,769 (CHUCKLES) But now is not the time. Continue. 418 00:21:12,302 --> 00:21:16,412 Sweetie, I understand why you'd be curious about this. 419 00:21:16,746 --> 00:21:19,546 And I want to do what's best for you. 420 00:21:19,549 --> 00:21:22,449 I just think it's best to have this conversation later. 421 00:21:23,052 --> 00:21:24,582 I don't think you're ready. 422 00:21:25,655 --> 00:21:27,385 Christina... 423 00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:30,517 Forgive me, but I've seen how important this is to Luke. 424 00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:33,520 At the very least, he's ready to start talking about it. 425 00:21:35,425 --> 00:21:38,665 Is it possible that you're just not ready to listen? 426 00:21:38,668 --> 00:21:39,928 Please don't fire me. 427 00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:43,331 Ah... Well... (SIGHS) 428 00:21:44,033 --> 00:21:45,033 I... 429 00:21:46,606 --> 00:21:48,536 Maybe you're right. 430 00:21:49,038 --> 00:21:51,638 Maybe I'm the one who's not ready. 431 00:21:53,643 --> 00:21:55,623 I've just been been so worried. 432 00:21:56,416 --> 00:21:59,546 What if you decide you'd be happier with a different mother, 433 00:22:00,019 --> 00:22:01,489 and a different family? 434 00:22:03,092 --> 00:22:04,952 Is that what you're worried about? 435 00:22:04,954 --> 00:22:06,804 Just because I want to learn more about my past, 436 00:22:06,796 --> 00:22:08,326 doesn't mean I want to replace you. 437 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:11,900 This will always be my home. 438 00:22:12,402 --> 00:22:15,002 That's for sure. It's not like you're ever leaving for college. 439 00:22:19,769 --> 00:22:21,569 Come on, Jessie, pick your moments! 440 00:22:25,645 --> 00:22:29,475 Luke? I've imagined this conversation a million times, 441 00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:32,450 and that's what I always hoped you'd say. 442 00:22:33,923 --> 00:22:35,493 I have something for you. 443 00:22:36,956 --> 00:22:38,786 I've been keeping it with your baby picture 444 00:22:38,788 --> 00:22:40,888 ever since the day we brought you home. 445 00:22:41,591 --> 00:22:43,691 And I was going to give it to you later, 446 00:22:45,435 --> 00:22:46,535 but I think you're ready now. 447 00:22:49,639 --> 00:22:51,139 It's from my birth mother. 448 00:22:51,941 --> 00:22:54,071 Go ahead, Luke. Open it. 449 00:22:57,577 --> 00:22:58,577 (SIGHS) 450 00:23:04,554 --> 00:23:05,864 What does it say, honey? 451 00:23:07,116 --> 00:23:08,916 It's kind of... 452 00:23:09,919 --> 00:23:11,459 (CHUCKLES) Great. 453 00:23:12,091 --> 00:23:15,391 She says that she's thankful I'm going to live with such a wonderful family... 454 00:23:15,625 --> 00:23:18,465 And that if I decide I want to meet her when I'm older, 455 00:23:18,668 --> 00:23:20,428 she'd like that very much. 456 00:23:20,830 --> 00:23:22,400 She just wants me to be happy. 457 00:23:24,033 --> 00:23:27,543 Also that I get my freckles from my grandpa Filbert. 458 00:23:31,481 --> 00:23:34,611 So, she may not be a professional wrestler, 459 00:23:35,014 --> 00:23:36,524 but she sounds really nice. 460 00:23:37,487 --> 00:23:40,747 And I know it's not the same as talking to her in person... 461 00:23:40,750 --> 00:23:41,950 Yeah, but... 462 00:23:43,623 --> 00:23:44,753 It'll do for now. 463 00:23:45,495 --> 00:23:47,055 And in the meantime, 464 00:23:47,827 --> 00:23:50,657 I've got the best mom in the world... You. 465 00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:54,460 Oh. And I have the best son. 466 00:23:56,035 --> 00:23:57,535 And the best nanny. (CHUCKLES) 467 00:23:57,937 --> 00:23:59,037 True. 468 00:23:59,438 --> 00:24:01,438 Thank you, Jessie, for all your help. 469 00:24:01,641 --> 00:24:02,641 (SCOFFS) 470 00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:05,582 Now, let's talk about appropriate work attire. 471 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,050 In conclusion, 472 00:24:12,051 --> 00:24:13,921 even though I now know more about my past, 473 00:24:13,923 --> 00:24:15,993 what's important is what I know about my future. 474 00:24:16,726 --> 00:24:18,586 That I will always have an awesome, 475 00:24:18,588 --> 00:24:19,858 supportive family by my side. 476 00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:23,690 So if I can't be from Krypton, 477 00:24:23,933 --> 00:24:25,033 I'm glad I'm a Ross. 478 00:24:25,234 --> 00:24:26,244 (ALL CHEERING) 479 00:24:27,937 --> 00:24:30,167 Oh, I'm glad that you're a Ross, too! 480 00:24:30,900 --> 00:24:32,640 Did I just say that out loud? 481 00:24:34,073 --> 00:24:36,153 Honey, that was a beautiful report. 482 00:24:36,145 --> 00:24:37,845 I am so proud of you. 483 00:24:38,247 --> 00:24:39,507 Me, too. 484 00:24:39,509 --> 00:24:42,849 Me, three! Zuri, may I have a tissue? 485 00:24:42,852 --> 00:24:44,082 Sure. 486 00:24:45,114 --> 00:24:46,494 (BLOWING NOSE) 487 00:24:50,059 --> 00:24:51,889 I will just use my sleeve. 488 00:24:53,693 --> 00:24:55,803 Luke, that was amazing. 489 00:24:55,795 --> 00:24:57,725 I bet you get an A on this assignment. 490 00:24:57,727 --> 00:24:59,167 Probably not. 491 00:24:59,168 --> 00:25:01,028 I was supposed to turn it in yesterday.