1 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:04,640 This programme contains violent scenes 2 00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:06,840 and shocking images of the deceased from the very start 3 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:09,800 that viewers may find distressing, very strong language from the outset, 4 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:11,480 offensive and discriminatory attitudes, 5 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:12,800 and scenes of a sexual nature. 6 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,960 What have you done?! 7 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,200 Monster! 8 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:37,360 You monster! 9 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,680 Oh, you little...! 10 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:37,600 Oh, the fuck! 11 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:54,280 Aye, aye? 12 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:56,000 Sorry, I know. I've locked myself out. 13 00:01:56,040 --> 00:02:00,080 I was just putting something in the bin and then, click. 14 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,000 So, what do you want? A ladder? 15 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,800 Erm, no, I don't think I've got any windows open. 16 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:07,920 I just need to phone my friend Stephanie. 17 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,760 Remember her? My best mate? She's got a spare key. 18 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:12,840 I mean, I've got a spare key, but guess where it is? 19 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,600 In the house. Fat lot of good that is. 20 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,440 Yeah, look, you'd better get in, hadn't you? 21 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,400 Ah... 22 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:41,800 Sorry, George. Got locked out. 23 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:45,760 I feel a bit stupid. 24 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,680 How are you doing? How's school? 25 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:52,680 Oh, it's college now. College! Good, well done. 26 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:54,720 Here. 27 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:58,240 No, but, erm... I don't know her number. 28 00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,960 I mean, who knows numbers any more? 29 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,840 But I remember she did that charity thing with Marie. 30 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:03,200 You know, remember? 31 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:05,280 The kids' breakfast thing, so I thought she might have it. 32 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:06,400 Marie's in work. 33 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:08,480 I know. So, could you...? 34 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,000 Clive? I'm busy. What is it? 35 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:24,400 Yeah, I've got Leo from next door standing here... 36 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:26,280 ..in his pants. 37 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:27,560 Yeah, he's locked himself out. 38 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,880 You know why that is, don't you? 39 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,800 Cos Bridget was on WhatsApp two minutes ago. 40 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,960 I'm trying to do my job, but it's ping, ping, ping, 41 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,080 all about him from next door. 42 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:40,120 Because do you know what she said? Guess what she saw. Bridget. 43 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:48,080 Is that right? What do you mean, running? 44 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:50,560 Running out of the house? Who was? 45 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:58,000 And then what happened? Leo was running? 46 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,920 Yeah, no, he said you've got his friend's number. 47 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:06,320 That, erm... Stephanie. Yeah, yeah, that's the one, yeah. 48 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,400 Yeah, no, but she's got the key, so just text it to me. 49 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:15,080 Bridget, opposite, she says there was a man came running 50 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,880 out of your house, and then you came running after him, 51 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,800 but he ran off, so, er, that's how you got locked out. 52 00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:23,400 Right. Him. 53 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:26,240 Morning. Hi. 54 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:30,920 That was quite a night. I've never tried gooning before. 55 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:35,000 Not as a couple. Erm, can I get you a coffee, or...? 56 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:38,120 Yeah. Black. Thanks. 57 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,920 Eddie. Leo? That's the one. 58 00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:46,880 Erm... I'd offer you some toast, but I don't have anything in. 59 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:50,840 I wasn't expecting anyone overnight. Kind of surprised me. 60 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:52,160 Not that I'm complaining. 61 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,320 Don't you dare! 62 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:03,600 Little...! 63 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:08,240 That was my friend, erm, Eddie. And he was staying with me. 64 00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:13,560 And, he went, I waved him goodbye, and that's when I, er, 65 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:16,680 took out the paper, stuff, things for the bin. 66 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,160 Oh, well. 67 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:23,720 Stephanie. 68 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:31,800 I know, but I'm in my pants and I have to open up at work. 69 00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:37,040 I know you're busy, I'm sorry, but... Hold on. 70 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:39,280 Fuck you doing? 71 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,480 Erm, I got, I got locked out. 72 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:45,080 You weirdo. 73 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:48,600 Steph, Steph, I'll take us away at Christmas, 74 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,240 I swear, I'll pay, just get me out of here. 75 00:05:57,560 --> 00:06:00,120 Right, good. Er, she has a key. 76 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,800 Saul, I don't think you should be naked in front of Mr Struthers. 77 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,280 Don't bother me. Yeah, well it bothers me, 78 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:05,640 so go and get some clothes on, eh? 79 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,240 Ey-yo! Hey! 80 00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:12,840 Oh.That's enough. 81 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:14,280 I apologise for my son. 82 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,080 Thanks. 83 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:24,200 Stephanie will be around about 20 minutes. 84 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,520 She's wrapping something up at work and then she's coming over. 85 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:27,680 Just put the keys in an Uber. 86 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,040 Ah, she thinks they're all anti-union, 87 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:31,520 she won't touch them, so... All right if I just wait here? 88 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,480 No. 89 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,600 OK, it's just for 20 minutes. 90 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:37,680 Yeah, no, I need to get to work in a bit. 91 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,120 I could just sit and watch TV. 92 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,440 George, what time are you at college? 11. 93 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:43,560 Yeah, you can't sit here with him. 94 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,360 Why not? 95 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:46,520 He's 16. 96 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:08,800 Hey. 97 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:13,000 God. Where'd you get the jacket? 98 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:16,400 Oh, Clive next door, and he was not happy, let me tell you. 99 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,040 His wife was always angry. 100 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:22,160 I'm surprised they're still together after what happened. 101 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:25,400 It was a hook-up called Eddie. He nicked my laptop and ran off. 102 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:27,400 I ran after him and got locked out. 103 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:54,560 I'm disgraceful. 104 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,640 You're lucky. Could've been a lot worse. 105 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:59,520 I mean, you're 60 next year. God's sake. 106 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,440 I'm allowed to have fun. 107 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,080 What, like this? Really? 108 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,000 He's not coming back, Steph. 109 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:12,400 Did you see on Instagram? Curtis in Italy, with her. 110 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:13,920 So, why were you surprised? 111 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:17,200 What happened next door with Clive Goss, Goss the Boss? 112 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:19,000 He slept with someone else. 113 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,120 Did he? 114 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:23,320 On holiday, in a caravan park. Ew! 115 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:27,280 I mean, imagine. I mean, what else is there to do but fuck around? 116 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:33,320 If you think about it, they've got a son who's, what, 25? 117 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:35,240 But the other one's only 15. 16. 118 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:38,400 So, that age gap means marriage in crisis. 119 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,960 Having another child never fixes anything. 120 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,400 You eat too much cheese. 121 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,560 Well, not any more. 122 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,200 How's work? 123 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,960 It's insane, thanks to you lot. 124 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,240 What does that mean? 125 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:56,320 Well, it's all your fault, isn't it? What is? 126 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:03,080 We got this kid in care now, he arrived in Britain in December, 127 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:06,080 but he's on that scheme, so there's no records. 128 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:12,480 Says he's 14. Is he fuck 14? He's got a moustache. He's got a beard. 129 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:14,720 He's 21, at least. 130 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:17,640 But he says he's 14, so 14 it is. 131 00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:22,320 And he is in there with kids, and he's taking the boys out drinking. 132 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:27,200 Don't tell me there's no drugs. There are drugs. 133 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:31,600 But it's the way he looks at the girls. 134 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:32,840 And he's always outside the bathroom, 135 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,840 every time a girl has a shower, standing there, grinning. 136 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:39,960 But that's just the beginning, cos this boy, this man, 137 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,760 is on top of the list to be fostered, 138 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,520 which means I have to process that application. 139 00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:49,680 And these foster families, they've got daughters. 140 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,960 But what do I tell them? I can't warn them. 141 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,320 I'm not allowed. Cos he says he's 14, 142 00:09:55,360 --> 00:10:00,320 and therefore it's a fact. So, what can I do? Nothing. 143 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,280 And how is this my fault? 144 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:06,400 He self-identifies, which you lot invented. 145 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:07,720 Thanks very much. 146 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:24,640 Hey, how you doing? 147 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,600 Susette, love of my life. It would never work. 148 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:29,680 Thank God. 149 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:30,960 Hey, you. Hiya. 150 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:37,880 Oof. 151 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,240 Morning. 152 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:52,720 What time do you call this? 153 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:55,360 Judy had to open up, boss. I was waiting outside. 154 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,440 Hello, Zee. Morning, everybody. 155 00:10:58,480 --> 00:10:59,560 Morning, boss. 156 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:03,240 So, I finished here last night, was going to go straight home, 157 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:06,440 then I thought, "Oh, quick little snifter at Monroe's." 158 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:10,040 Met a man called Eddie. Tall, thin, hot. 159 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:13,720 Chat, chat, chat. 90 minutes later, took him home. 160 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:17,600 You didn't! I did. Wild sex. I will draw a veil. 161 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:19,960 Then this morning we get up, go downstairs, 162 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,280 he grabs my laptop, and runs into the street. 163 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,400 I run after him, the door closes behind me, 164 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:28,760 I'm locked out of my own house, stark naked. No way! 165 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:32,080 Yeah, Stark bollock naked in the street. 166 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,200 All I could do was steal a garden gnome from next door 167 00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:35,360 to hide my privates. 168 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:40,160 I swear to God. I'm in the middle of the street, my arse hanging out 169 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,640 and a garden gnome hiding my Kemi Badenochs. 170 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,000 Wait, there's more, there's more. 171 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,920 So I go next door, there's the neighbour's son 172 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:52,400 fresh out of the shower, dripping. Oof. 173 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:57,480 25 years old, pink, wet, topless. Well, I tell you - 174 00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:59,920 all of a sudden, that garden gnome had a fishing rod. 175 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,720 What a start to the day. I thank you. 176 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:18,040 Hanna, what happened yesterday? 177 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:19,080 I had a headache. 178 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:22,040 Well, that is what the sick line is for. 179 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,160 You don't ask Tania to pass on a message, 180 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,800 you phone the sick line, because I've always got it, 181 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:28,080 if I don't have it Judy's got it, 182 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:31,520 and we need to know properly so we can get cover. Understood? 183 00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:33,240 Yep. Good. What? 184 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:34,960 This is Frederic. He's been waiting. 185 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,040 You were supposed to interview him at half past. 186 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:38,800 Oh, right. Right. 187 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:42,920 Ah, first customer of the day. Morning, Melba. The usual. 188 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:46,480 Louise, can you sort out the dame? Thank you. I'm on it. 189 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:49,400 So, Frederico, have you worked in a bar before? 190 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:51,000 Yeah, I did two weeks at Pinnacle. 191 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,400 Why'd you leave? Well, they sacked me. 192 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,680 Good start. All right, let's do this on the hoof. 193 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:56,760 Come behind the bar. Come on. 194 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,360 So, what did Pinnacle pay you? Ten. 195 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,720 We pay 12, but that means you have to work for it. 196 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:06,040 So, come on, show me. Get me a WKD, a gin and tonic, 197 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:07,760 and a vodka lime, both with ice. 198 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:11,040 Except we don't have any ice. Mikey, can you get the ice? 199 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,400 On it, boss man. 200 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,640 Basically, we're a speed bar. We don't do cocktails. 201 00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:17,640 Nearest thing we do is a blue lagoon, but not from a shaker. 202 00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:18,680 We don't have time for that. 203 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:19,760 Just pour it straight into the glass. 204 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,600 Do you know what's in a blue lagoon? No. 205 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:24,680 Vodka, curacao, and lemonade. 206 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,160 So, what do you do? Are you a student? Yeah. 207 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:28,800 What are you studying? Philosophy. 208 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:30,800 Ooh, philosophy. 209 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,240 You know my philosophy? I can imagine. 210 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,480 Fuck 'em all. I was right. 211 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:38,280 Ah! Ah... You OK? 212 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:39,640 Electric shock. 213 00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,520 Ah, Zee, will you get that fuse box? 214 00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:44,520 Told you, boss, it's happening all the time. 215 00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:46,520 You all right, Freddie? It's a bit numb. 216 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:49,440 OK, let's do a little test to see if you were listening. 217 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:55,240 So, tell me, Fred, in a blue lagoon, there is vodka, curacao, and what? 218 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:56,400 I've got no feeling in my hand. 219 00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:58,920 Have I lost you? 220 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,400 It really shocked me. 221 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,520 OK, all right. Er, do you want a little lie down 222 00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:08,280 and a glass of water, Freddie? Hanna, get this boy a seat. 223 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:10,080 Go on, put your feet up, young man. 224 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:12,480 You HAVE just survived death by fridge. 225 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,840 Yeah, I am a bit unsteady. Come and sit here. 226 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,200 Zee, will you have a word with Hanna? 227 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,000 She's taking the piss. She can't keep missing shifts. 228 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:24,280 THEY'RE taking the piss, THEY keep missing shifts. 229 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:25,400 All right! 230 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,680 Oh, come on, no, boss, not you. 231 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:28,720 Honestly, Zee. 232 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:32,040 Your tribe's the most beleaguered on the entire planet, 233 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,160 and what do you do? 234 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,800 The one thing that is guaranteed to annoy everyone. 235 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:38,160 You fiddle about with your pronouns, and now everyone's 236 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,320 pissed off with you. 237 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:41,480 My GP stopped prescribing oestrogen. 238 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:44,760 But never mind that, eh? You're pissed off about one little word. 239 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,120 Yeah, I know. OK. I'm getting old. 240 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:52,960 Hello, sick line. Hiya. 241 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,800 Frederic? You're calling in sick? 242 00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,880 I don't feel very well. 243 00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:01,520 The sick line is for employees. 244 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:06,160 Yes. But according to the employment law of 2024... 245 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,680 Don't you dare. ..despite the '26 amendment... 246 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:09,840 Fucking Labour government. 247 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:11,920 ..we've got full workers' rights from day one, 248 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,800 which starts at the point of interview, 249 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,520 and I was just electrocuted. 250 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:19,200 I should get compensation for that. 251 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:21,080 You little...! Boss. 252 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,640 OK, Freddie. 253 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:30,040 I think you should go home and consider your position. 254 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:40,400 Thank you for the interview. I'll let you know. 255 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:43,280 He'll let you know. 256 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,600 Legacy of Keir bloody Starmer. 257 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:48,440 You come to Manchester and run a bar, your lordship. 258 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:51,880 Yeah? This is Leo, over. 259 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:54,200 Could you come up here, boss? And bring Zee with you. 260 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,280 We've got a problem. Over. 261 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:59,320 What have you done now? 262 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:04,680 3 am, we're locking up, that's when you said goodbye, Zee. 263 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,920 Me and Mikey head out the front. 264 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,440 You slip into that quarter-turn where there's no camera, 265 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:10,720 and that's where you stay all night. 266 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:14,120 Oh, Zee, darling. 267 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:17,560 This morning, 9 am, I open up, I go upstairs, 268 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,720 you pretend to arrive, and you shout upstairs, 269 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,520 say "hello", and I said "hello". 270 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,880 So, you... You slept in that tiny little space? 271 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:28,920 I thought you were the clever one. What happened? 272 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:31,680 They said they were going to kill me. 273 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:38,200 This Polish lad moved in, and he was all right at first. 274 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:39,800 But then three of his mates moved in, 275 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:42,840 so it was a house share with the four of them, and one of me. 276 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,280 And we'd laugh, you know. 277 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,840 But then they said we were like brothers. 278 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:50,200 Oh, they knew. 279 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,440 And then it gets worse. 280 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,360 They get drunk, start banging on my door every night. 281 00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,400 "I'm going to fuck you, little boy." 282 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:00,720 Jesus! 283 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,200 The first lad, Michal, he said, 284 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:08,680 "I am going to fuck you until you're dead." 285 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,360 From that moment on, they just want to kill me. 286 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:16,960 They said they were going to cut my throat. 287 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:20,240 Can't you go to the police? 288 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:22,720 Yeah, that'll really help. 289 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:23,760 You can stay with Ashraf. 290 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,720 He's got a room, you can stay there. I'll have a word. 291 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,080 All my stuff's in that house. 292 00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:30,400 Then let's go get it. 293 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:35,720 OK everybody. Easy, does it. 294 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:43,800 Are they in? 295 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:44,840 They'll be asleep. 296 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:47,480 They get in at four, sleep till four. Just keep quiet. 297 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,240 OK, let's go. 298 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,080 Shh, be quiet. Sorry. 299 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:20,440 Come on. 300 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,440 OK. Hurry, girls, come on, let's go. 301 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,760 This isn't a room. It's a box. 302 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,280 They all live like this, the kids. This is what we did to them. 303 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,000 Hi. 304 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,040 Fuck. 305 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,840 Er, good afternoon, my friend. We're not causing any trouble here. 306 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,360 Just helping out a colleague. 307 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,000 Just a few ticks and we'll be gone. 308 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:54,480 You know, I've always wanted to visit Poland. 309 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:55,840 Where would you recommend? 310 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,160 Michal! 311 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,800 Come on, quick! Michal! 312 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:00,280 All right, come on, hurry. 313 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:07,480 Who are you? In my house? Who the fuck are you, grandad? 314 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,880 You try it. You fucking try it. 315 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:12,600 You muppet. 316 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:13,880 Ah, the lady boy. 317 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:16,800 Going to fuck you with that big stick, lady boy. 318 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,640 I'm telling you. 319 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:26,320 I can't stop all of you, but you, Bartek, 320 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:28,080 I can get you, you little twat. 321 00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:31,880 And they can kill me and rip my head off my body, 322 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:37,520 but before I die I will batter your tiny little skull into pieces, 323 00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:39,160 you fucking prick. 324 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:46,120 Jesus Christ, Judy! Run! 325 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,840 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! 326 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,400 How have you got a gun? 327 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:55,040 I'm licenced to kill 22 types of bird in my own back garden. 328 00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,360 Fuck off! 329 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,720 What the hell, Judy? You can't just stop! 330 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:08,920 I know what I'm doing. 331 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,520 My uncle was a bodyguard to the Shah of Iran. 332 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:13,400 Judy! Drive the car! 333 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,160 Fuckers! 334 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,080 Fucking hell! 335 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,760 That's great! Their faces! 336 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,760 Go on, give us your key then. 337 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:14,160 You said you had a spare key, 338 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,080 you might as well give it to me, mightn't you? 339 00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:17,520 Um, well, 340 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:20,160 I'm not gonna lock myself out again, Clive. 341 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,280 Well, what if you do? 342 00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:26,000 OK. 343 00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:27,360 There you go. 344 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:31,640 Er, what's your alarm code? 345 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:33,480 Yeah, er, OK. 1502. 346 00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:35,440 1502. 347 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,280 Oh, and my coat? 348 00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:40,840 What a day I've had. 349 00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:44,960 Thanks very much for this morning. 350 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,360 It was very kind of you. 351 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,920 So, do I get a key for yours? 352 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,600 You wish. 353 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,280 I mean, like... 354 00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:29,280 I'm gonna swap shifts with Donna and go upstairs, is that OK? 355 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:30,640 OK, sure, anything wrong? 356 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:31,840 There's a boy over there. 357 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:34,280 Don't look. Polo shirt. I teach him. 358 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:35,440 Has he seen you? 359 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,640 Looked straight through me. 360 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:38,800 You think he's gay? 361 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,160 No chance. He's out to impress the girls, 362 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,600 but if he recognises me, I'm in trouble. 363 00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:45,120 Not just at school. 364 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:46,960 Never mind that I'm his teacher, 365 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,240 he knows where I live. 366 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:49,520 On you go. 367 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:50,800 See you later, boss. 368 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:56,360 OK, I'm off. 369 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,600 NightNet says that gang of gypsies has moved 370 00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:00,680 to Deansgate instead, so I think we're gonna be safe, 371 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:03,480 so I will love you and leave you, my peasants. 372 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,480 Um, boss... 373 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:07,720 Oh. 374 00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:30,000 Happy birthday, Melba. 375 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:34,640 Ladies. Hello, girls. Hiya. 376 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,080 Hey, boys. 377 00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:39,200 No, I'm getting sugared. 378 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,480 There you are! 379 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,120 You look like you're having a good time. 380 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:44,960 Great show. Do come in, come on. 381 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:00,920 Ugh. 382 00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:09,600 Let's go. 383 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:13,720 Oh, so I went to the optician's the other day, 384 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,600 cos you've got to look after your eyes, haven't you? 385 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:20,680 He says, "Miss Dixie, you've got to stop wanking." 386 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:23,040 I said, "Why? Will I go blind?" 387 00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:27,640 He says, "No, you're upsetting everybody in the waiting room." 388 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:30,720 Oh, you've been a lovely audience, you really have. 389 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,160 But before you go, 390 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:36,120 did you see in the news this week that poor old lady in Levenshulme, 391 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,920 found dead in her flat, no one to care for her. 392 00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,280 I mean, what a world we live in, eh, girls? 393 00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,440 So, just be kind, darlings, be kind. 394 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,120 Oh, for fuck sake. OK, Melba. 395 00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:46,480 Got something to say, darling? 396 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,240 Don't pretend to care. 397 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:50,480 You fucking Tory! 398 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:53,080 I've seen you up in Hale Barns. 399 00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:55,760 You haven't just got two cars, you've got two fucking garages. 400 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,240 Oh, tiny bit of jealousy. 401 00:24:58,280 --> 00:24:59,880 She's greener than Wicked, that one. 402 00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:01,360 Your husband... OK, leave it, leave it. 403 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:02,640 ..has money... No, no! 404 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,880 ..has money in care homes 405 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:08,880 that stand women up in the bathroom and hose them down with cold water. 406 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:12,320 This, ladies and gentleman, is Melba. 407 00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:15,880 Melba...Mediocre. 408 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:18,280 She's not bitter at all, is she? Oh, shut up. 409 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,560 I mean, I'm not saying she's old and past it, 410 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,600 but she were young when Moses were a lad. 411 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:25,040 That's not even the right fucking joke. 412 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,920 "She was old when Moses was a lad." 413 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:29,840 Not young. She was old! Go on, get out. 414 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,240 You're just a bargain basement Bet Lynch. 415 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:35,600 Come on, Melba. Do you even know what drag is?! 416 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:38,840 This lipstick, these fucking eyelashes...! 417 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:40,200 It's a protest! 418 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,240 Come on. No, it's a scream! 419 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:44,120 Let's get you out. It's a punch in the face. 420 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:45,960 Shove a pie in it, darling. 421 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:48,560 It's not Margaret fucking Thatcher! 422 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,000 Get out, you skanky bitch. 423 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:51,400 You're barred. 424 00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:56,280 That's where I met Harry. 425 00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:59,560 On that corner, right there, in 1992. 426 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:03,000 I'd only been in Manchester just over a year. 427 00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:04,160 I never met him. 428 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,600 I don't suppose you would've, cos he finished with me in 1994. 429 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:10,960 And then he phones me up 430 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:14,400 one month later, one month to the day, 431 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,400 and says, 432 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,320 "I'm positive, get yourself tested." 433 00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:19,680 Remember those calls? 434 00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:20,920 Ah. 435 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,520 And then... 436 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,120 ..I tested positive. 437 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:27,920 I thought I was dying. 438 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,720 Well, in 1994, I was dying. 439 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:32,920 So, I phone him back, 440 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:34,200 answerphone. 441 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:36,400 Phone him back again, phone him back again. 442 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:41,920 He never picked up. Ever. 443 00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:46,240 Then he moved away went back to London, gone. 444 00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,080 Six years later, I find out he's dead. 445 00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:50,800 Someone just... 446 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:52,280 ..mentions it in passing. 447 00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:56,080 Cunt! 448 00:26:56,120 --> 00:26:57,520 Now, we're not meant to blame. 449 00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:59,400 No. He was a cunt. 450 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,960 You should've looked this way, darling. 451 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,920 I loved you since the day I first saw you. 452 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,480 That daft little Scottish lad with eyes like a fox. 453 00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:17,560 I live in hope. 454 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:21,280 Don't, Melba. 455 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:28,760 Happy birthday. 456 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,840 Happy birthday. 457 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:33,320 I do, though. 458 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:40,520 Do you ever think it's coming back? 459 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:43,200 All that shit from the '90s? 460 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:45,440 We were despised, but you read the stuff online now, 461 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:46,520 it sounds just the same. 462 00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:48,080 Do I think it's coming back? 463 00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:51,560 Yeah. It's back, you fucking idiot. 464 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,960 Right now, it's here. 465 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,880 It's a storm, it's a tide, 466 00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:57,120 it's a great big tsunami, 467 00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,080 and we're in the middle of it right now. 468 00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:01,240 Do I think it's coming back? 469 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,480 You know, if you'd asked me in 1996, 470 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:05,480 "What do you think 2026 will be like?" 471 00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:07,600 I'd have said, "Glory days. 472 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,080 "We'll have equality, we'll have love and kisses, 473 00:28:10,120 --> 00:28:13,080 "we'll be holding hands, skipping down the streets." 474 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:17,880 But they tricked us, didn't they? 475 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:20,880 They just waited. 476 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,400 Oh, they let us all come out, 477 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:25,400 so now we're standing in the open, 478 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:27,280 ready for them to shoot us down. 479 00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:28,800 You think that? Really? 480 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,880 Look at me, I'm as out and as proud as anything, but... 481 00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:35,280 ..past couple of years, 482 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,320 I'm a lot more careful. 483 00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:40,480 You just started a great big row. 484 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:42,320 On Canal Street. 485 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:43,880 Home turf. 486 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:45,160 But out there... 487 00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:48,240 ..I used to walk into a room and just go, 488 00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:49,280 "Ta-da." 489 00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:54,880 Now I tiptoe, just in case. 490 00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,400 You know the awful thing? 491 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:06,280 Now I don't have to care as much, not anymore. 492 00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:09,280 Cos I've done my bit. 493 00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:11,600 I have fought the good fight, 494 00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:14,640 very many times, thank you very much. 495 00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:18,280 HIV, Section 28, the Bolton seven, 496 00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:21,680 oh, bless them, in their little leather slings. 497 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:23,520 I have marched. 498 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:27,120 Now it's someone else's turn, 499 00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,840 one of those bright young things. 500 00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,200 They can man the barricades, or woman the barricades, 501 00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:33,800 or them the barricades. 502 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:37,360 I mean, I'll be 60 next year. 503 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,400 Oh, don't. 60! 504 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:44,640 In a couple of years, I can retire and remember the golden days. 505 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:46,880 You're kidding yourself, you know. 506 00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:50,800 If there's a war you're on the front line, my darling. 507 00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:52,920 You have trans bar staff, 508 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:54,480 that's the battleground right there. 509 00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:56,160 Hey, I love my staff. 510 00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:59,200 And as a result, look at TripAdvisor for your place. 511 00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:02,240 There they are, regular as the morning shit, 512 00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:05,440 post after post calling you a paedo and a groomer, 513 00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:10,200 because they say you pay chemically castrated children to work for you. 514 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:11,240 They're just bots. 515 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:12,680 No, that's women. 516 00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:13,920 Women who are furious, 517 00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:16,880 and with good reason, but, no, no, don't start me. 518 00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:20,080 And men, grown men typing away with their big fists. 519 00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:21,520 Yeah, but it's just that, typing. 520 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:23,600 The president of America 521 00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:29,320 has given these men permission to attack us. 522 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:30,480 Leo... 523 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,880 ..you're queer in 2026. 524 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:35,440 You're a political act. 525 00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:37,680 Yeah, but it'll swing back. 526 00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:39,480 We do this, we go through history, 527 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,160 we swing one way, we swing the other. 528 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:44,480 Conservative then Labour, Republicans then Democrats. 529 00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:45,640 Just... 530 00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:49,080 ..just give it time, it'll... 531 00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:50,800 ..it'll settle. 532 00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:53,280 Is that what history teaches you? 533 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:54,840 Yeah. 534 00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:57,040 It does. 535 00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:59,720 I think history's merciless. 536 00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:01,920 And it only goes one way. 537 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:03,760 Onwards. 538 00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:06,920 It marches on, and on, and on, 539 00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:09,840 and what if this never swings back? 540 00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:13,160 What if Trump just keeps on winning forever and ever? 541 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:16,120 How far will it go? How much will they hate us? 542 00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:17,800 Because they hate us, Leo. 543 00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:19,960 They really hate us. 544 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,000 And do you know what? 545 00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:23,680 I think they've always hated us. 546 00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:27,040 Only now they don't have to pretend anymore. 547 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:28,680 No. 548 00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:31,800 History tells us one thing. 549 00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:37,440 That blood and fire and retribution always happen. 550 00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:38,920 And right now... 551 00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:42,280 ..it's coming for us. 552 00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:51,840 Clive, you are inside my house. 553 00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:54,400 Well, you gave me the key, didn't you? 554 00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:55,920 So, I thought I'd fix it up for you. 555 00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:58,160 You know, that, key safe thing. 556 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:01,280 If you put this on the wall outside, 557 00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:03,160 you won't get locked out again. 558 00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:06,720 They give these to the elderly and disabled. They love 'em... 559 00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:08,360 Oh, I'm thrilled to be in the same category, 560 00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,040 but, Clive, I don't think you should just walk into my house. 561 00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:14,360 I think you should knock or ring the bell. 562 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:15,520 OK. 563 00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:25,840 Better? 564 00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:27,080 Thank you. 565 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:29,400 All right, I'll get on with it. Where do you want this? 566 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,880 I was thinking, uh... 567 00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:33,840 ..about here? 568 00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:35,400 I don't know, is that good? 569 00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:36,520 It should be, yeah. 570 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,520 Yeah, I'll get on with it. 571 00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:40,720 Do you ever wear any clothes? 572 00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:43,520 Yeah, I should... Yeah, go on, piss off. 573 00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:45,320 I don't need your help. 574 00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:46,960 You leave the hard work to me, eh? 575 00:33:58,120 --> 00:33:59,640 Fucking let himself in. 576 00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:03,320 Fucking let himself in. 577 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:05,600 Clive bloody Goss. 578 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:06,960 My fucking house. 579 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,200 DRILL WHIRS 580 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:12,240 Right, it's done. 581 00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,600 Here you are, let me show you. 582 00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:17,240 So, the key's in there, right? 583 00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:21,000 You put in 1502, open it up, there's your key. 584 00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:22,560 You put it back in, 585 00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:24,040 close it, Bob's your uncle. 586 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,680 And that won't attract burglars, cos they know there's a key there? 587 00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:28,640 I mean, they can't force it open? 588 00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:30,360 Does that become a problem? 589 00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:31,560 I'll take it down if you want. 590 00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:32,920 No. 591 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:34,160 It's up now. 592 00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,080 I'll get out your way. 593 00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:39,680 All right, but I got you another key. 594 00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:45,040 and I'm not charging you for labour, all right? 595 00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:47,240 Cash OK? 596 00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:48,600 If I've got it. 597 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:01,640 You not working today? 598 00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:03,800 Oh, yeah, no, I am. 599 00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,200 Saturday's our busiest night. I'm working 'til 4am. 600 00:35:06,240 --> 00:35:10,640 If you can call that work, eh? Dishing out drinks all day. 601 00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,320 Do you know how many people I employ? 602 00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:13,800 No. 45. 603 00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:15,680 Fuck off. I do. 604 00:35:15,720 --> 00:35:17,120 It's a bar. So? 605 00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,920 You do not employ 45. 606 00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:21,960 There's 15 girls just rotating at the door, 607 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,560 then there's managers, bar staff, security, cleaners. 608 00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:26,200 How many, are you? 609 00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:27,360 It's just me. 610 00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:28,880 Oh, well, nice life. 611 00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,720 And you didn't have to increase the National Insurance for 45 people. 612 00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:33,320 No, but I have to cope with maritime law. 613 00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:36,200 What's that? Ah, you see, you don't know everything. 614 00:35:36,240 --> 00:35:39,200 Under maritime law, you can sail into this country from 615 00:35:39,240 --> 00:35:40,800 Romania without any qualifications, 616 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:42,480 and you can take my job from under my nose. 617 00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:45,480 Cos you can work as an electrician with no credentials. 618 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,400 How is that maritime law? 619 00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:48,800 Because we're an island. 620 00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:55,560 I did think, if you don't mind, 621 00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:58,520 I was gonna say do you need any work doing? 622 00:35:58,560 --> 00:35:59,680 You know, in the bar? 623 00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:04,320 Cos I'm a bit short of hours and it's not a good time. 624 00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,000 And those boys, they cost a fortune. 625 00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:09,000 And Marie, she's always nagging at me, so I'll do a good price. 626 00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:11,080 Er, no. We're fine. Sorry. 627 00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:13,080 No, well, forget I asked. No, I'm really sorry. 628 00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:14,720 No, it's fine. It's fine. 629 00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:16,200 Just if you hear of anything. 630 00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:21,400 How's Curtis? 631 00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:23,800 Oh, I don't know. 632 00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:25,920 Ask him. Fine. 633 00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:28,960 How long's he been gone? 634 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:30,520 Two years. 635 00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:31,960 Marie said he ran off with a woman. 636 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:35,440 Began a relationship with someone else, yes. 637 00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:37,720 That must've been a blow. To your manhood. 638 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:40,320 Well, it turns out I can get a blow to my manhood any time I like. 639 00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:42,480 There you go, you see? You had to make it dirty, didn't you? 640 00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:44,040 Every time. It's always sex with you lot. 641 00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:45,840 I find it revolting, you know, this time of day? 642 00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:49,400 Oh, right, so that's us, is it? That's the gays? We're all sex? 643 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,160 You had a man running out of your house 644 00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:52,680 with my children sitting next door. 645 00:36:52,720 --> 00:36:54,800 OK, so I sleep around? 646 00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:57,760 I'm the one who sleeps around? 647 00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:03,120 In this room, the person who sleeps around is me? 648 00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:07,040 What are you getting at? What do you think? 649 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:13,280 What do you mean? 650 00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:15,480 Oh, nothing, never mind. Er, 25 quid. 651 00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:17,480 Thanks. 652 00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:19,280 Was it a real woman? 653 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:23,160 What? With Curtis. Cos these days it might not be. 654 00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:24,280 You know, Marie said, 655 00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:27,400 "If he's gay, has he run off with a man who calls himself a woman, 656 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:28,760 "or a woman who used to be a man?" 657 00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:30,880 Cos it's all he, she, they, and them now, isn't it? 658 00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:32,120 So, we can't tell. 659 00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:33,520 Well, you know who started all that, don't you? 660 00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:36,120 No. You. 661 00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:37,520 I did that? Yeah, you. 662 00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:39,920 All of you. All this fuss with pronouns. 663 00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:41,960 It was always you lot. 664 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,200 From the moment we are born, in the schoolyard, 665 00:37:44,240 --> 00:37:45,680 it's always you staring at us saying, 666 00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:46,920 "What are you, then? A boy or a girl? 667 00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:49,520 "Are you a boy or a girl? What are you, a boy or a girl?" 668 00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:51,400 Six years old, if you're not playing football, it's like, 669 00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:52,920 "What are you? Some sort of girl?" 670 00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:55,400 All our lives, "What are you? What are you? What are you?" 671 00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:57,480 And then guess what. We say, "OK, fine, you win, 672 00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,080 "you're right, we'll do what you want. 673 00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:01,440 "If we are so confusing, then I'll become a she, 674 00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:03,120 "she can be a he, and if that doesn't work, 675 00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:05,520 "I can become a them. What do you think? Happy now?" 676 00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:07,040 Well, guess what? No, it's all, 677 00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,560 "How dare you change? How dare you be different? 678 00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:11,120 How dare you not know?" 679 00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:13,280 We did exactly what you wanted, 680 00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:15,880 and you still don't fucking like it. 681 00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:19,040 And I will have my change, please. 682 00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:24,520 please, Clive, thank you. 683 00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:27,400 Well, I'll go and get it. Yeah, you do that. 684 00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:58,600 Look, all right, I didn't... 685 00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:01,080 Oh, no, no, no. It's all my fault, apparently. 686 00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:05,120 I mean, isn't everything? So, you have a nice day. 687 00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:06,920 I do need a spot of work. 688 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,040 There's some dodgy wiring at the bar. 689 00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:12,840 So, yeah, thank you. 690 00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:15,160 I-I'd be very grateful. 691 00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,720 Yeah, well, no mates' rates. 692 00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:20,920 Well, we're not mates. 693 00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:22,600 All right, well drop us a text and we'll sort it. 694 00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:25,760 You know, I mean, if I've got time, like. 695 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,960 OK. 696 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,480 Thank you. 697 00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:54,840 River said to Lamb, "'I've always fancied you, sir." 698 00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:58,600 Lamb unzipped his dirty, sweaty trousers. 699 00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:01,520 "Eat this, River." 700 00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:04,680 And River nuzzled deep into the unwashed fold. 701 00:43:16,240 --> 00:43:17,480 Please! 702 00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:03,920 Fuck. 703 00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:05,080 Fuck. 704 00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:12,120 I swear it gets madder and madder, that family next door. 705 00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:15,120 George. Get here. 706 00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:16,320 You kept secrets. 707 00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:18,880 If you're hiding things from me now. 708 00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:20,160 So, you won't tell her next time? 709 00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:23,480 Tonight's the night. I am so gonna get rimmed. 710 00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:25,480 Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, out, out, out. 711 00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:26,960 You can look down on women. 712 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,120 Fuck off. Go on, Clive. 713 00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:31,720 Cop a load of this. 714 00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:32,880 I still love you. 715 00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,200 I think you lot are so full of all your freedoms, 716 00:44:35,240 --> 00:44:36,720 you don't know when to stop. 717 00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:43,800 You all right? 718 00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:46,640 Sit at home with a bad dad, and you're as closeted as ever. 719 00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:51,200 I am so scared. 720 00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:58,360 You terrify me. 721 00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:03,000 Yeah, like it creeps through the walls. 722 00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:04,680 Subtitles by Red Bee Media 723 00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:07,520 Oh, fu...