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(Reel rattles)

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Male Narrator: It took me
a whole year

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after reaching the legal
drinking age

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to finally have the guts
to go to The Roost.

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Wearing a black dress shirt,
grey cargo pants,

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a bronze Indian necklace

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and light blue glitter
around my eyes,

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I nervously walked into
Edmonton's

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most popular gay bar.

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I wasn't sure what to expect,

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but I knew I was searching
for sanctuary.

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(Dance music plays)

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I hoped to be greeted by
a circle of gays

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holding hands
under strobe lights

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and swaying to heavenly RandB,

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that would open to embrace me.

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Together they would say,

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"You are home."

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Instead, through the smell
of stale beer,

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and the sound of a Celine Dion
techno remix,

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I heard someone yell,
"Fucking drag queens,

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they need to get their
own bar!"

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I always credit The Roost
as the place

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where I learned that being
oppressed

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doesn't prevent you
from oppressing others.

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I learned this over and over
again in mutated ways.

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Like when my best friend
was told by the lesbian clique

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that she wasn't a real dyke,

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unless she shaved her head.

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And even after she did,
she wasn't embraced.

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Or when I learned that exotic
was code for, "not white"

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which was code for,
"not like us" which code for,

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"here comes 5 years
of hating my brownness."

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Or when I ran into one of my
high school bullies

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and panicked assuming that
he must've tracked me down;

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never imagining
that he might be queer.

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And yet, despite the ways that
our communal self hatred

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was aimed at each other,
I kept returning.

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♪♪♪

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Maybe because we were all
forced to be low-key

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in our everyday lives,

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the unpredictability of The
Roost was kind of addictive.

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What was gonna happen?

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The only way to find out
was to go.

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I went looking for teenage love
to feel desirable.

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Or perhaps I was actually
seeking confirmation

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of my undesirability.

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I would often mentally select
the hottest guy in the room

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and spend the rest of the night
obsessing about

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whether or not
he would notice me,

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approach me, dance with me.

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If he did, I was shocked.

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If he didn't, I felt validated.

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Why did I keep playing
this game?

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Why did I keep going back?

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Sometimes it was as simple
and as thrilling

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as hoping the DJ would play
that George Michael song,

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so I can take over
the dance floor

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and for 4 minutes and 30
seconds, feel invincible.

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♪♪♪

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I might not have been the most
attractive boy in the bar,

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but I knew I had moves.

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♪♪♪

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After relocating to Toronto,

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I found myself missing
The Roost.

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In the big city there was a bar
for every kind of gay man:

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twinks, leather daddies,
hipsters...

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There were few bars
for queer women;

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often pop-up women only spaces.

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Somehow, being in a city with
hundreds more queer people

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meant that we chose to spend
less time with queers

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who didn't look or desire
like us.

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The privilege of numbers
had resulted in a new kind

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of segregation... between us.

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♪♪♪

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The wish that had been shouted
at The Roost,

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that drag queens needed
to get their own bar,

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turned out to be a prophecy
that had come true.

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♪♪♪

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While The Roost was far
from idyllic,

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being forced to share a space
meant just that.

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We we're forced to share,

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forced to engage
with each other

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and that force of different
kinds of queers

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dancing collectively,

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felt as close to a definition
of queer

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as I've yet to encounter.

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We were wounded,

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we were cruel,

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we were innocent,

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we were searching,

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we were lustful,

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we were ecstatic...

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we were together.

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The Roost closed in 2007,

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two years after gay marriage
became legal,

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30 years after it had opened

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and almost 40 years
after homosexuality

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was partially decriminalized
in Canada.

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Today, the building houses a
Canada Border Police Office.

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(Car rumbles by)