1
00:00:06,477 --> 00:00:11,407
Presenting my special
caviar omelet with gruyere
cheese a la Bertram.

2
00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:12,742
Voila!

3
00:00:12,743 --> 00:00:14,093
(PHONES BEEPING)

4
00:00:14,085 --> 00:00:16,415
Tomorrow I'm just
heating up frozen waffles.

5
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:17,787
KIDS: Yay!

6
00:00:19,750 --> 00:00:22,220
Ravi, are you
ever going to
take your turn?

7
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:24,403
What's the point
of playing Zombie
Slaughter with Buddies

8
00:00:24,395 --> 00:00:27,325
if your buddy never
slaughters zombies?

9
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:29,798
I am trying to read
The Fairfield News.

10
00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:33,460
Do you know there has
been a rash of burglaries
in the building?

11
00:00:33,464 --> 00:00:35,774
Uh-oh. I'd better go
lock my dollhouse!

12
00:00:37,308 --> 00:00:39,808
What? I got fine
mini-China in there.

13
00:00:41,412 --> 00:00:45,222
Guys, relax.
We have top-notch
security downstairs.

14
00:00:45,216 --> 00:00:47,376
We have Tony downstairs.

15
00:00:47,378 --> 00:00:48,718
We are doomed!

16
00:00:50,321 --> 00:00:52,551
Hey, guys, I have
to run to the post
office this afternoon

17
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:56,263
to overnight these fish
to France for your mom's
emergency pedicure.

18
00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:00,429
Ooh, I want a fishy!

19
00:01:00,431 --> 00:01:01,791
They eat the dead
flesh off your feet.

20
00:01:01,792 --> 00:01:02,832
I'm good.

21
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:07,696
Emma, I need you to walk
Zuri home from school today.

22
00:01:07,698 --> 00:01:09,498
Okay. (GASPS)
(PHONE BEEPS)

23
00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:13,770
O-M-G! Kelly is wearing
a chiffon dress
to the dance tomorrow!

24
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:16,384
Now, I can't wear
my chiffon dress!

25
00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:19,477
I miss having
14-year-old girl problems.

26
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:23,180
Now that Rachel Kapowski's
single, I'm gonna ask
her to the dance.

27
00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:24,724
She's my dream girl.

28
00:01:24,715 --> 00:01:26,585
I thought I was
your dream girl.

29
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:29,387
It's a dream, I can like
as many girls as I want.

30
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,391
Ugh... Men.

31
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:36,804
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh

32
00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:40,467
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie

33
00:01:40,471 --> 00:01:43,871
♪ It feels like a party
every day

34
00:01:43,874 --> 00:01:47,414
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie

35
00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:51,278
♪ But they keep on pulling
me every which way

36
00:01:51,282 --> 00:01:54,422
♪ Hey Jessie, hey Jessie

37
00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:58,215
♪ My whole world is changing
Turning around

38
00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:01,749
♪ They got me going crazy
Yeah, they're shaking
the ground

39
00:02:01,752 --> 00:02:05,662
♪ But they took a chance
on the new girl in town

40
00:02:05,656 --> 00:02:09,226
♪ And I don't want to let them
down, down, down

41
00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:10,630
♪ Hey Jessie

42
00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:14,413
♪ Hey Jessie

43
00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:19,807
♪ It feels like a party
every day

44
00:02:19,810 --> 00:02:23,410
♪ Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, Jessie ♪

45
00:02:27,478 --> 00:02:29,478
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

46
00:02:31,422 --> 00:02:32,852
I am ready.

47
00:02:34,585 --> 00:02:38,355
Ravi, we're not
playing hockey,
we're playing dodgeball.

48
00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:40,659
Yes, against
Gale "The Gorilla" Gustavo.

49
00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:44,874
He's not that tough.

50
00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:46,235
(GRUNTS)

51
00:02:50,401 --> 00:02:52,741
Look, there's Rachel.

52
00:02:52,743 --> 00:02:56,183
Her break up with
The Gorilla was all over
the Walden website.

53
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,406
It would have been
the top story,

54
00:02:57,408 --> 00:03:00,748
but the third graders'
guinea pig had babies.

55
00:03:00,751 --> 00:03:02,451
Mazel tov, Fluffy!

56
00:03:03,854 --> 00:03:06,324
You read the school's
website, too?

57
00:03:06,317 --> 00:03:08,587
You make reading
lamer than it already is!

58
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:10,920
(WHISTLES)

59
00:03:13,624 --> 00:03:15,904
(GROANS)

60
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:18,596
(CHUCKLES)
Nice shot, Rachel!

61
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,569
I think you just turned
his outie into an innie.

62
00:03:20,571 --> 00:03:21,671
RAVI: Oh!

63
00:03:22,473 --> 00:03:25,883
(GRUNTING)

64
00:03:25,876 --> 00:03:27,506
I am already out, people!

65
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,878
What are you going
for, extra credit?

66
00:03:30,341 --> 00:03:31,481
Ow!

67
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:32,942
Whoa!

68
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:36,394
Awesome duck
and roll, Luke!

69
00:03:36,387 --> 00:03:37,987
You've got
some good moves.

70
00:03:37,988 --> 00:03:39,988
If you like that,
you should see me move
on the dance floor.

71
00:03:41,552 --> 00:03:46,332
Well, technically,
this is gonna be
the dance floor.

72
00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:49,327
Yeah, different decorations,
same sweat sock smell.

73
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:50,700
(CHUCKLES)

74
00:03:50,701 --> 00:03:55,471
So, I see you like
stink based humor.

75
00:03:55,466 --> 00:03:58,636
Well, you'll get a lot
more of that if you come
to the dance with me.

76
00:03:58,909 --> 00:04:00,269
Sure.

77
00:04:00,271 --> 00:04:01,811
(ROARS)

78
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:07,324
(NERVOUS GRUNT) I would hate
to be one of your pimples.

79
00:04:14,825 --> 00:04:17,285
Hey! Thanks for
taking the umbrella,

80
00:04:17,288 --> 00:04:18,888
and then not
picking me up!

81
00:04:18,889 --> 00:04:22,629
I got a call
from the '70s and they
want their hair back!

82
00:04:24,735 --> 00:04:27,035
(SIGHS) Zuri,
I'm so sorry!

83
00:04:27,037 --> 00:04:29,897
I forgot because I was
practicing my smoky eye.

84
00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:32,970
You're lucky I don't
give you a black eye!

85
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:34,383
Please don't
tell Jessie.

86
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:36,905
Fine. It's going to cost
you a week's allowance.

87
00:04:36,907 --> 00:04:39,577
$2,000 for one little favor?

88
00:04:41,412 --> 00:04:42,812
I'll give you 50 bucks.

89
00:04:42,813 --> 00:04:45,893
Deal! I would've kept quiet
for a Chuckles bar, sucker!

90
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:51,458
Whoa! Zuri, you're gonna
need a bigger bike helmet.

91
00:04:52,863 --> 00:04:55,403
Uh, good idea.
We'll go buy one!

92
00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:57,066
(STAMMERING)

93
00:04:57,067 --> 00:04:59,467
(WHISTLING)

94
00:04:59,470 --> 00:05:01,930
Bertram, why do I feel
like the kids don't
tell me everything?

95
00:05:01,932 --> 00:05:04,812
Why do you care?
The less they talk,
the better.

96
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:05,935
But, I really feel
like sometimes...

97
00:05:05,936 --> 00:05:07,876
Zip! That goes
for you, too.

98
00:05:13,544 --> 00:05:16,854
There is no way
Mrs. Kipling can
catch a burglar.

99
00:05:16,847 --> 00:05:19,887
She can't even catch
a cricket unless
it has a limp.

100
00:05:19,890 --> 00:05:21,350
(GRUMBLES SOFTLY)

101
00:05:21,352 --> 00:05:22,852
Just stick
to the script.

102
00:05:22,853 --> 00:05:24,023
(SIGHS)

103
00:05:25,956 --> 00:05:30,026
Oh, what a lovely day
in my big penthouse,

104
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:32,960
surrounded by all
my expensive things.

105
00:05:36,867 --> 00:05:39,707
Oh, no! A burglar!

106
00:05:39,710 --> 00:05:42,870
If only a small
dinosaur would
stop him!

107
00:05:42,873 --> 00:05:44,453
(GRUMBLES SOFTLY)

108
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:48,516
Hey, guys, I put a snack
out for you on the... Whoa!

109
00:05:48,919 --> 00:05:50,019
(CRASHING)

110
00:05:51,922 --> 00:05:54,592
(GROANING)

111
00:05:54,585 --> 00:05:58,085
Bertram! Bertram!
Speak to me!
What's the snack?

112
00:05:59,830 --> 00:06:01,060
Sushi.

113
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,091
Ugh!
Oh!

114
00:06:09,039 --> 00:06:10,699
Oh, Emma, are you
making a salad?

115
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,071
On your face?

116
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:15,953
I'm giving myself
a pre-dance facial.

117
00:06:15,946 --> 00:06:19,076
Uh-uh. And what
else did you do today?

118
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:21,079
Oh, you know,
the ushe.

119
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:23,981
I went to school
and got my hair
and nails done.

120
00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:26,094
So, you got them
done after school?
Yep!

121
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,386
Was that before or after
you forgot to pick up Zuri?

122
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:29,958
Before.
A-ha!

123
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,090
I knew you didn't pick
your sister up from school.

124
00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:33,892
How did you find out?

125
00:06:34,625 --> 00:06:35,695
You just told me.

126
00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:36,766
Why would I do that?

127
00:06:36,767 --> 00:06:37,997
Because I tricked you.

128
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:40,568
Well, that wasn't very nice!

129
00:06:40,571 --> 00:06:43,571
I cannot believe you didn't
pick Zuri up from school!

130
00:06:43,574 --> 00:06:45,044
Sorry, I forgot.

131
00:06:45,035 --> 00:06:47,175
Like you've never
forgotten anything before.

132
00:06:47,177 --> 00:06:49,107
Um, I never forget things.

133
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:50,479
Yeah-huh!

134
00:06:50,481 --> 00:06:52,081
Remember that time
you forgot who you were

135
00:06:52,082 --> 00:06:53,742
and had to fight against
a secret government agency

136
00:06:53,744 --> 00:06:55,724
to protect yourself
and the woman you love?

137
00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:59,046
That's the plot
to The Bourne Identity.

138
00:06:59,049 --> 00:07:01,149
I can't believe
you're mad at me
for not doing your job!

139
00:07:02,092 --> 00:07:03,752
That's it!

140
00:07:03,754 --> 00:07:05,504
You are not going
to that dance!

141
00:07:05,496 --> 00:07:06,926
What?

142
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,927
This is totally unfair!

143
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:12,429
You are the worst nanny
in the history of nannies!

144
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,512
Emma, I know
you don't mean that.

145
00:07:16,066 --> 00:07:18,066
Ugh... Teenagers.

146
00:07:18,068 --> 00:07:20,108
Um, you're a teenager, too.

147
00:07:20,110 --> 00:07:23,810
The only difference between
you and her is that you
don't get invited to things.

148
00:07:27,978 --> 00:07:29,518
Ugh... Butlers.

149
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,627
Jessie, I'll make
you a deal.

150
00:07:39,630 --> 00:07:43,230
I go to the dance,
and you ground me
from all my math classes.

151
00:07:43,233 --> 00:07:44,803
How is that
a punishment?

152
00:07:44,795 --> 00:07:47,095
Because I love math!

153
00:07:47,097 --> 00:07:49,837
Two plus two
equals fabulous!

154
00:07:50,701 --> 00:07:51,771
Nice try.

155
00:07:54,244 --> 00:07:55,814
Jessie, does
this look okay?

156
00:07:55,806 --> 00:07:57,976
I need to look perfect
for my date with Rachel.

157
00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,648
Meanwhile, I'll be here,
growing old and bitter,

158
00:08:00,651 --> 00:08:01,781
like somebody I know!

159
00:08:03,013 --> 00:08:04,723
I was talking
about you, Jessie!

160
00:08:04,715 --> 00:08:05,855
Yeah, I got that!

161
00:08:07,858 --> 00:08:09,758
Luke, don't worry,
you look great.

162
00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:10,720
Oh, thanks.

163
00:08:15,065 --> 00:08:17,725
If a tad nervous.

164
00:08:17,728 --> 00:08:21,498
I haven't seen sweat stains
like that since you got
your last report card.

165
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:24,031
Ugh! I need some
advice about girls.

166
00:08:24,034 --> 00:08:25,844
My freckles can only
take me so far.

167
00:08:27,077 --> 00:08:29,277
Luke, don't worry,
all right?
Just be yourself.

168
00:08:29,279 --> 00:08:30,639
Ooh, and get her a rose.

169
00:08:30,641 --> 00:08:33,181
Good idea,
but what should I say?

170
00:08:33,183 --> 00:08:34,853
What do girls like
to hear on a date?

171
00:08:34,845 --> 00:08:38,215
Well, uh, I can
tell you what we
don't like to hear.

172
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:41,718
"Whoa, you're going
to eat that whole thing?"

173
00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:43,892
"Babe, babe,
I, I forgot my wallet,

174
00:08:43,894 --> 00:08:45,864
"do you mind
paying for dinner?"

175
00:08:46,897 --> 00:08:49,897
(FARTING SOUND)

176
00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:53,100
And we definitely
don't want to hear
that on a date!

177
00:08:53,103 --> 00:08:54,813
Oh, that's my
new text alert.

178
00:08:54,805 --> 00:08:56,635
I recorded it myself.

179
00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:58,737
Man, I love technology!

180
00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:00,869
Okay, my advice
for tonight.

181
00:09:00,871 --> 00:09:03,211
Blow-dry your pits
and keep your phone
on silent but deadly.

182
00:09:03,213 --> 00:09:04,623
(BEEPS)

183
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:11,718
I can't believe
everyone is at the dance
and I'm stuck here!

184
00:09:11,722 --> 00:09:13,222
Thanks a lot, Balloon Jessie!

185
00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:16,555
(PANTING)

186
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,086
Emma! Balloon Jessie!
Horrible news!

187
00:09:20,190 --> 00:09:22,190
Peasant blouses are back?

188
00:09:22,993 --> 00:09:24,333
Worse.

189
00:09:24,334 --> 00:09:26,344
I just read
on the Walden website

190
00:09:26,336 --> 00:09:29,736
that Gale has sworn
revenge on Luke
for stealing his woman!

191
00:09:29,740 --> 00:09:32,170
They broke up,
he can't blame Luke!

192
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,782
I do not think a guy
nicknamed The Gorilla

193
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:38,075
comprehends the subtle nuances
of teen dating etiquette!

194
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:40,609
We've got
to call Luke!

195
00:09:40,611 --> 00:09:43,881
I already tried.
He is not answering.

196
00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:46,764
Oh... He could be
in mid-swirly right now!

197
00:09:46,757 --> 00:09:48,717
Then there's
only one thing to do!

198
00:09:48,719 --> 00:09:50,059
Ravi, will you come
to the dance with me?

199
00:09:50,821 --> 00:09:51,821
Emma.

200
00:09:52,723 --> 00:09:53,723
Emma.

201
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:58,265
I am very flattered,
but you are my sister.

202
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:06,843
♪ Pot pies taste so good
They're yummy in my tummy
Yum, yum... ♪

203
00:10:06,837 --> 00:10:08,237
(SCREAMS)

204
00:10:08,879 --> 00:10:10,079
(CRASHING)

205
00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:12,611
We got you, thief!

206
00:10:13,243 --> 00:10:15,623
Ugh! It's only Bertram.

207
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:16,915
(SCOFFS)

208
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:20,387
I told you, no burglar
is going to come get us!

209
00:10:20,390 --> 00:10:24,220
Besides, marbles aren't
going to stop anyone.

210
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,334
Whoa!

211
00:10:28,158 --> 00:10:29,658
They stopped you.

212
00:10:29,660 --> 00:10:30,800
Twice.

213
00:10:35,005 --> 00:10:36,735
Emma, can we talk?

214
00:10:38,268 --> 00:10:41,138
Look, I don't want you
to miss out on that dance,

215
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:44,041
but you need to understand
that what you did
was really wrong.

216
00:10:45,876 --> 00:10:48,276
Okay, ignoring the problem
won't make it go away.

217
00:10:48,278 --> 00:10:50,418
Kind of like
my credit card bill.

218
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:52,681
Emma?

219
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:54,763
(GASPS)

220
00:10:57,858 --> 00:11:00,128
You're not Emma,
you're Balloon Jessie!

221
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:03,732
So Emma snuck out!

222
00:11:03,734 --> 00:11:05,974
I cannot believe
she went to that dance!

223
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:07,336
And gave me a mustache!

224
00:11:08,899 --> 00:11:10,939
But I do look good
as a blonde.

225
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,910
♪ Zizik's Deli makes
hoagies like my mommy

226
00:11:23,914 --> 00:11:27,464
♪ I love their soups
and breads
and also their pastrami ♪

227
00:11:27,457 --> 00:11:28,787
(MACHINE BUZZING)

228
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,719
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! (GRUNTING)

229
00:11:32,122 --> 00:11:33,762
A-ha! It worked!

230
00:11:35,465 --> 00:11:38,465
Ugh! It's just
Bertram again.

231
00:11:38,468 --> 00:11:41,268
What a waste of
a good ball beat-down.

232
00:11:41,271 --> 00:11:43,301
(GRUNTS) Turn it off,

233
00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:45,343
or load it with meatballs!

234
00:11:45,335 --> 00:11:47,105
(BERTRAM GRUNTING)

235
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:50,037
Bertram, we are trying
to defend our penthouse!

236
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:53,240
That's it! No more traps!

237
00:11:53,243 --> 00:11:54,713
(BREATHES HEAVILY)

238
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:55,994
Bertram...

239
00:11:55,986 --> 00:11:57,846
What?

240
00:11:57,848 --> 00:11:59,148
Are you going
to pick that up?

241
00:12:03,253 --> 00:12:05,803
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

242
00:12:11,001 --> 00:12:12,261
This is for you, Rachel.

243
00:12:12,262 --> 00:12:14,942
A pretty rose
for a pretty girl.

244
00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:17,365
Thanks, Luke.
It's so beautiful.

245
00:12:21,872 --> 00:12:23,112
There.

246
00:12:25,776 --> 00:12:28,516
(PANTS)
Is it hot in here?

247
00:12:28,518 --> 00:12:30,118
Are you hot?

248
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:33,380
I mean, you are hot...
I mean, are you warm-hot?

249
00:12:33,383 --> 00:12:35,263
You know what?
I'm going to go
get us some punch.

250
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,255
(GRUNTS)

251
00:12:39,790 --> 00:12:41,260
(SIGHS)
Wow.

252
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,031
Rookie mistake.

253
00:12:43,033 --> 00:12:45,873
Even when you're
floundering, never back
away from a girl.

254
00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:47,966
They can smell fear.

255
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:51,068
Even through all that
cologne you have on,
which stinks right now.

256
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,442
Adam Sandler!

257
00:12:53,443 --> 00:12:55,283
What are you doing
at our school dance?

258
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:59,305
Uh, just trying
to pick up some
spare change chaperoning.

259
00:12:59,309 --> 00:13:01,909
If we have to have
grownups, too,
I'm glad it's you.

260
00:13:01,912 --> 00:13:03,052
(CHUCKLES)

261
00:13:04,454 --> 00:13:05,824
Ugh!

262
00:13:05,816 --> 00:13:07,516
Whatever you do,
don't drink the punch!

263
00:13:07,517 --> 00:13:09,317
I made that punch.

264
00:13:09,319 --> 00:13:14,559
I mean, don't just
drink it. Savor it! Yeah!

265
00:13:14,564 --> 00:13:17,474
Go ahead. Wash that
foot out of your mouth.

266
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:20,368
Ah, sorry, Mr. Sandler.

267
00:13:20,370 --> 00:13:23,330
Don't call me Mr. Sandler,
call me Thunder.

268
00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:25,983
Why?
I just think
it sounds cooler.

269
00:13:27,077 --> 00:13:30,377
Okay. So, Thunder,

270
00:13:30,380 --> 00:13:32,310
do you think I have
a chance with this girl?

271
00:13:33,283 --> 00:13:34,513
Absolutely.

272
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:36,454
When it comes to girls,

273
00:13:36,446 --> 00:13:39,246
all you have to be
is polite, honest,

274
00:13:39,249 --> 00:13:41,419
and a movie star.

275
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:43,021
But I'm not
a movie star.

276
00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:46,203
Well, you should try
it sometime, it's excellent.

277
00:13:46,196 --> 00:13:49,956
Now, go back out there,
and take her some
of my punch.

278
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:51,500
I made it in
Kevin James' bathtub.

279
00:13:52,863 --> 00:13:54,433
Don't worry, he was
wearing a wetsuit.

280
00:14:02,472 --> 00:14:04,072
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Oh!

281
00:14:04,074 --> 00:14:05,354
♪ Hoagies are here at last

282
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,115
♪ Yum, yum, yum,
yum, yum, yum, yum ♪

283
00:14:08,118 --> 00:14:10,078
Thank you!

284
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:11,850
Let me get your tip.

285
00:14:12,422 --> 00:14:14,082
Here's a tip.

286
00:14:15,025 --> 00:14:16,455
You're being robbed.

287
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:19,356
(SCOFFS) No kidding!
At $15 a sandwich,
you're robbing us blind!

288
00:14:21,191 --> 00:14:22,331
Oh.

289
00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:24,293
(SIGHS)

290
00:14:25,595 --> 00:14:28,365
Whoa! Whoa!

291
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,069
Emma!

292
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:32,941
Luke, you've got to
get out of here.

293
00:14:32,943 --> 00:14:35,283
Gale said he's
going to get you
for dating Rachel!

294
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:38,145
Well, bring it on!
If he wants to fight,
I'll fight him.

295
00:14:38,148 --> 00:14:39,448
There won't be a fight.

296
00:14:39,449 --> 00:14:40,609
Gale will give
you a wedgie,

297
00:14:40,610 --> 00:14:44,350
and everyone will see your
ridiculous Superman undies!

298
00:14:44,354 --> 00:14:46,364
Some people
think they're cool.

299
00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:49,318
Nobody thinks they're cool.

300
00:14:49,319 --> 00:14:52,319
Not even Lois Lane!

301
00:14:52,322 --> 00:14:54,462
(SCOFFS) I'm willing
to take that chance.

302
00:14:54,464 --> 00:14:56,474
I finally got my dream girl.

303
00:14:56,466 --> 00:14:59,466
I'm not going to lose
her because of some
underwear-yanking gorilla.

304
00:15:02,232 --> 00:15:04,402
Luke, at least
tighten your belt!

305
00:15:06,536 --> 00:15:08,376
Emma! Emma!
Oh, excuse me.

306
00:15:08,378 --> 00:15:10,378
Sorry, oh...
Ow, ow, ow,
okay, okay...

307
00:15:10,380 --> 00:15:12,440
Oh, yeah.

308
00:15:12,442 --> 00:15:14,312
Adam Sandler?
What are you doing here?

309
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,654
Waiting for them
to play Gangnam Style.

310
00:15:16,646 --> 00:15:20,016
I've been
practicing all week.

311
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:22,320
I'm here looking for one
of my charges. I'm the nanny.

312
00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:24,322
Yeah?
Yeah. But I'm also
a struggling actress.

313
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,064
Really? What have
I seen you in?
Uh-uh.

314
00:15:26,056 --> 00:15:27,456
Nothing. That's why
I'm struggling.

315
00:15:28,098 --> 00:15:29,228
Makes sense.

316
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:30,659
Yeah... Do you have
any advice for me?

317
00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:32,930
I do. Remember this.

318
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,702
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
Show up on time.

319
00:15:34,704 --> 00:15:36,314
Know all your lines.
Mmm-hmm.

320
00:15:36,306 --> 00:15:39,636
And whenever
possible, do this.
(MUMBLES INCOHERENTLY)

321
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:41,409
(MUMBLES INCOHERENTLY)
That's it, that's it.

322
00:15:41,411 --> 00:15:42,471
Oh? Yes!

323
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:48,477
This punch is horrible.

324
00:15:48,478 --> 00:15:50,418
Yeah, that's Kevin James'
feet you're tasting.

325
00:15:52,322 --> 00:15:53,482
Good to meet you.

326
00:15:53,483 --> 00:15:55,193
Good to meet you.

327
00:15:59,529 --> 00:16:01,629
A-ha!
(SCREAMS)

328
00:16:01,631 --> 00:16:02,961
Got ya!

329
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,302
(STUTTERING) Jessie,
I can explain.

330
00:16:05,295 --> 00:16:07,695
Great, can't wait to hear
it 16 years from now,
when you're ungrounded!

331
00:16:09,299 --> 00:16:11,239
You'll be 30!

332
00:16:11,241 --> 00:16:13,341
Jessie, I didn't sneak out
to come to the dance.

333
00:16:13,343 --> 00:16:15,313
Really? Huh! That's weird,

334
00:16:15,305 --> 00:16:17,505
because with people
dancing, and music playing,

335
00:16:17,507 --> 00:16:19,307
it really seems like
we're at the dance!

336
00:16:19,309 --> 00:16:21,349
Jessie, listen!

337
00:16:21,351 --> 00:16:23,081
I snuck out
to warn Luke!

338
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:25,493
Rachel's old boyfriend,
The Gorilla, is coming
after him!

339
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:29,115
Please tell me they call
him The Gorilla because
he likes to climb trees.

340
00:16:29,119 --> 00:16:33,119
No, it's because he's huge,
grunts, and can peel
a banana with his feet!

341
00:16:34,464 --> 00:16:37,134
And now he's going to give
Luke the wedgie of his life!

342
00:16:37,127 --> 00:16:39,697
Oh, no. And Luke's
probably wearing his
Superman underwear!

343
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:41,499
We've got to find him.

344
00:16:47,377 --> 00:16:49,137
Hey, Luke,

345
00:16:49,139 --> 00:16:52,039
get ready for some
Gale-force winds.

346
00:16:52,042 --> 00:16:53,642
See what I did there?

347
00:16:55,245 --> 00:16:57,285
Have you grown
since gym class?

348
00:16:57,287 --> 00:16:59,017
Yep. (ROARS)

349
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,350
Ah!

350
00:17:01,351 --> 00:17:03,151
(EVERYONE GASPS)

351
00:17:04,454 --> 00:17:05,704
My punch!

352
00:17:05,695 --> 00:17:09,455
I knew I should
have made brownies.

353
00:17:09,459 --> 00:17:12,359
Gale, all you've managed
to do is make yourself
look foolish,

354
00:17:12,362 --> 00:17:14,402
and ruin poor
Adam Sandler's punch.

355
00:17:14,404 --> 00:17:17,344
"Thunder's"! When is that
gonna catch on?

356
00:17:19,269 --> 00:17:21,069
Gale, I can't believe
you did that!

357
00:17:21,071 --> 00:17:23,641
Yeah, humiliating me
is not going to win
Rachel back.

358
00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:24,773
Right, Rachel?

359
00:17:24,774 --> 00:17:26,324
You still care!

360
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:30,518
Or maybe it will.

361
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,450
I'm sorry, Luke.
The rose was sweet,

362
00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:36,733
but you should give it
to a girl who really
deserves it.

363
00:17:39,189 --> 00:17:41,129
Hey, you want to go
get some Chinese later?

364
00:17:41,131 --> 00:17:43,531
I've been really craving
some moo goo Gale pan.

365
00:17:43,533 --> 00:17:45,503
Oh, I've missed
your clever wordplay.

366
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:53,371
You should be
ashamed of yourself!

367
00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:55,353
You think I want to live
a life of crime?

368
00:17:55,345 --> 00:17:57,375
I can't support myself
on deli tips!

369
00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:59,507
And the delivery charge
is not the tip, people!

370
00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:04,782
Well, here's a thought.
Why don't you get a new job?

371
00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:06,624
I was a philosophy major!

372
00:18:06,616 --> 00:18:09,116
There's no jobs in philosophy!

373
00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:11,459
Congratulations, Dad,
you were right!

374
00:18:13,623 --> 00:18:15,803
Okay...

375
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:18,265
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Not Gary the Gravy Boat!

376
00:18:18,268 --> 00:18:20,668
He's my best friend!

377
00:18:20,670 --> 00:18:23,470
I mean, my best
dispenser of gravy.

378
00:18:23,473 --> 00:18:24,833
(STAMPS)
Ow!

379
00:18:24,834 --> 00:18:26,384
(ROARS)
(SCREAMS)

380
00:18:28,838 --> 00:18:30,338
(GRUNTING)

381
00:18:32,642 --> 00:18:34,442
(SOBBING)

382
00:18:34,444 --> 00:18:36,554
ZURI: Bertram, what's wrong?
Did you taste your
cooking again?

383
00:18:38,488 --> 00:18:41,118
Oh, Bertram,
who is your friend?

384
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,520
(MUFFLED YELLING)

385
00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:46,203
And why are
you tied up?

386
00:18:46,196 --> 00:18:49,696
(SIGHS) Because that's
what burglars do!

387
00:18:49,699 --> 00:18:52,429
(GASPS)
So you're the burglar?

388
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:55,472
What evil sickness
drives a man to steal?

389
00:18:55,465 --> 00:18:56,905
What else am I
supposed to do?

390
00:18:56,906 --> 00:18:59,766
My only skills are peddling
a bike and discussing
Kierkegaard!

391
00:19:00,770 --> 00:19:03,470
Now, please, call off
your velociraptor.

392
00:19:05,275 --> 00:19:08,915
I told you
Mrs. Kipling could be
a fierce guard lizard!

393
00:19:08,918 --> 00:19:10,478
Sorry, Mrs. K.

394
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:13,720
Who knew you can
go all Jurassic Park
on someone?

395
00:19:13,723 --> 00:19:15,433
(GRUMBLES SOFTLY)

396
00:19:15,425 --> 00:19:16,885
Hello! We're still
getting robbed here!

397
00:19:16,886 --> 00:19:19,326
Someone untie me
and call the cops!

398
00:19:19,329 --> 00:19:20,829
No! Don't call
the cops!

399
00:19:20,830 --> 00:19:24,430
If you let me go,
I can get you free hoagies
for the next three years!

400
00:19:24,434 --> 00:19:25,704
Really?

401
00:19:25,695 --> 00:19:27,535
BOTH: We are calling the cops!

402
00:19:27,537 --> 00:19:28,937
Okay, okay, okay.

403
00:19:28,938 --> 00:19:30,238
(GRUMBLES SOFTLY)

404
00:19:33,503 --> 00:19:34,503
Luke, are you okay?

405
00:19:35,445 --> 00:19:37,705
Not really.

406
00:19:37,707 --> 00:19:40,647
But on the bright side,
none of that punch got
in my mouth, so...

407
00:19:42,612 --> 00:19:44,312
How did you know
Gale was after me?

408
00:19:44,314 --> 00:19:45,464
Emma told me.

409
00:19:46,416 --> 00:19:48,416
Luke, I'm so sorry,

410
00:19:48,418 --> 00:19:51,918
but if Rachel can't see
how great a guy you are,
then she's a big idiot.

411
00:19:51,921 --> 00:19:55,531
Meanwhile, I'm sitting
here without a date,
looking like a bigger idiot.

412
00:19:55,525 --> 00:19:56,625
(SIGHS)

413
00:19:58,928 --> 00:20:00,668
Well, I can't do anything
about the punch,

414
00:20:00,670 --> 00:20:03,830
but you are done
just sitting around.

415
00:20:03,833 --> 00:20:06,383
(SCOFFS) Jessie, you
don't have to do this.

416
00:20:06,376 --> 00:20:07,706
Yes, I do!

417
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:13,409
Luke, you are sweet
and funny and cool.

418
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,685
(CHUCKLES) And you've
got the moves like Jagger.

419
00:20:21,891 --> 00:20:24,451
Hey, check out my
friends checking us out.

420
00:20:25,795 --> 00:20:27,555
(CHUCKLES)

421
00:20:27,557 --> 00:20:29,757
You could probably coast
all the way through
middle school on this one.

422
00:20:29,759 --> 00:20:32,659
I can coast all
the way to my G.E.D!

423
00:20:32,662 --> 00:20:35,412
Really? Yeah, well,
maybe.(CHUCKLES)

424
00:20:38,468 --> 00:20:40,438
Hey, Jessie.
Hmm.

425
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:44,440
I was told to give
this to a girl who
really deserves it.

426
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:45,484
I think that's you.

427
00:20:46,416 --> 00:20:47,976
Aw, Luke.

428
00:20:48,778 --> 00:20:50,418
I'll treasure this.

429
00:20:54,884 --> 00:20:56,534
I treasured that.

430
00:21:00,330 --> 00:21:02,360
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

431
00:21:02,362 --> 00:21:03,592
Hey, thanks for
cheering me up.

432
00:21:03,593 --> 00:21:05,673
Eh, that's what
nannies are for.

433
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:08,595
But you know
what would make
me feel great?

434
00:21:08,598 --> 00:21:10,438
If I got a kiss.
Don't push your luck.

435
00:21:11,601 --> 00:21:12,741
(CHUCKLES)

436
00:21:14,744 --> 00:21:17,954
Other than the fact
that I still have
punch in my pants,

437
00:21:17,947 --> 00:21:20,447
this was a
pretty good night.

438
00:21:20,450 --> 00:21:22,580
Emma, thanks again
for trying to warn
me about Gale.

439
00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:23,852
You're welcome.

440
00:21:23,853 --> 00:21:26,993
Yeah, that was
a really great
big sister thing to do.

441
00:21:26,986 --> 00:21:29,556
You are now
officially un-grounded.

442
00:21:29,559 --> 00:21:33,519
Good, because seeing you
dancing Gangnam Style
was punishment enough.

443
00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:37,404
Adam Sandler
did put you to shame.

444
00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:39,427
So not true.

445
00:21:39,429 --> 00:21:41,529
His lasso technique
was way too wristy.

446
00:21:42,332 --> 00:21:43,532
(VOCALIZING)

447
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:45,513
(CHUCKLING)

448
00:21:45,505 --> 00:21:47,305
(ALARM SOUNDING)

449
00:21:48,578 --> 00:21:50,538
Huh... This is new.

450
00:21:52,582 --> 00:21:55,552
Oops, I guess
we forgot one
of our traps.

451
00:21:55,545 --> 00:21:57,915
Huh! I didn't know
it was nanny season.

452
00:21:58,518 --> 00:21:59,948
Get the key!

453
00:21:59,949 --> 00:22:02,349
Key? Key...

454
00:22:04,454 --> 00:22:06,564
Uh, Zuri, a word?

455
00:22:08,398 --> 00:22:09,698
Sure.

456
00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:12,060
(UNEASY CHUCKLE)

457
00:22:12,061 --> 00:22:14,901
I hope that word isn't "key,"
because I don't have one.

458
00:22:16,506 --> 00:22:18,106
(BOTH SCREAM)

459
00:22:19,539 --> 00:22:21,539
They're not coming
back, are they?

460
00:22:22,512 --> 00:22:24,112
Guys? Don't you...
Don't...

461
00:22:24,113 --> 00:22:26,453
(BOTH SCREAM)
Come here!

462
00:22:26,446 --> 00:22:27,546
Kids?

463
00:22:29,018 --> 00:22:30,478
Bertram?

464
00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:32,580
Adam Sandler?

465
00:22:34,654 --> 00:22:36,534
He prefers "Thunder."
(CLICKS TONGUE)