1 00:00:02,436 --> 00:00:06,032 Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express. 2 00:00:07,116 --> 00:00:12,145 Come and watch pikeys making a mess of the lives they were given 3 00:00:12,236 --> 00:00:14,512 by 'im upstairs... 4 00:00:14,596 --> 00:00:17,987 and kids they're convinced aren't actually theirs. 5 00:00:18,076 --> 00:00:19,032 Stay away! 6 00:00:19,116 --> 00:00:22,826 What sounds on earth could ever replace 7 00:00:22,916 --> 00:00:25,715 kids needing money or wives in your face? 8 00:00:25,796 --> 00:00:28,357 Cos this, people reckon, and me included, 9 00:00:28,437 --> 00:00:33,273 is why pubs and drugs were kindly invented - 10 00:00:33,357 --> 00:00:36,987 to calm us all down, stop us going mental. 11 00:00:37,077 --> 00:00:41,469 These are Chatsworth Estate's basic essentials. 12 00:00:41,557 --> 00:00:45,790 We are worth every penny for grinding your axes. 13 00:00:45,877 --> 00:00:47,994 You shit on our head. 14 00:00:48,077 --> 00:00:50,467 But you pay the taxes! 15 00:00:53,557 --> 00:00:56,914 Imagine a Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers, 16 00:00:56,997 --> 00:00:59,353 who'd come on your face for the price of a beer. 17 00:00:59,437 --> 00:01:02,794 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 18 00:01:02,877 --> 00:01:07,076 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 19 00:01:09,157 --> 00:01:11,035 Scatter. Party! 20 00:01:19,077 --> 00:01:20,193 So... 21 00:01:20,277 --> 00:01:22,269 Maxine, then... 22 00:01:22,357 --> 00:01:26,989 MICKY: See, here's the problem with society. We've got too much choice. 23 00:01:28,078 --> 00:01:33,392 Every decade that rolls past, we get more and more lifestyle options. 24 00:01:33,478 --> 00:01:35,197 You fuckin'...! 25 00:01:35,278 --> 00:01:39,113 And the one thing you can guarantee about people - 26 00:01:39,198 --> 00:01:43,192 give 'em a choice and they'll pick the wrong fuckin'one. 27 00:01:44,278 --> 00:01:46,838 And then it's too late. 28 00:01:46,918 --> 00:01:50,195 Can't rewind, can't go back, you've made your choice, 29 00:01:50,278 --> 00:01:55,353 and you and everyone else has got to live with it. 30 00:02:00,958 --> 00:02:02,233 ASAP. 31 00:02:05,958 --> 00:02:09,235 Was happy to feed Stella. Make sure the bills were paid. 32 00:02:09,318 --> 00:02:11,833 Stop Dad from choking on his own vomit. 33 00:02:11,918 --> 00:02:15,434 Wasn't choking so much as a terrified gargle. 34 00:02:15,518 --> 00:02:17,749 But you just broke the camel's back. 35 00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,034 Camel? 36 00:02:23,239 --> 00:02:25,549 Hey! Brekky! 37 00:02:27,679 --> 00:02:29,716 Just take, take, take, wi' you, innit? 38 00:02:29,799 --> 00:02:33,156 Should've got that tidy little thing you hang around with to sew it for you, 39 00:02:33,239 --> 00:02:35,799 instead of pissing Liam off. That's her job, see? 40 00:02:35,879 --> 00:02:38,075 - Maxine? - Yeah. 41 00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:39,718 We broke up. Remember? 42 00:02:39,799 --> 00:02:42,234 - Give you the sharp end of the elbow? - No. I dumped her. 43 00:02:42,319 --> 00:02:43,639 (SCOFFS) 44 00:02:43,719 --> 00:02:45,199 Seriously. I did. 45 00:02:45,279 --> 00:02:47,157 It was me. All me. 46 00:02:47,239 --> 00:02:49,231 She's out of your league, mate. 47 00:02:49,319 --> 00:02:54,713 You're supposed to hold onto those ones, not chuck 'em away. 48 00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:56,836 It just didn't feel right. 49 00:02:56,919 --> 00:03:00,879 Good in the sack, made you laugh, 50 00:03:00,959 --> 00:03:04,236 bit of a brain on her, cracking tits you could stare at for hours? 51 00:03:04,319 --> 00:03:05,673 Well, yeah. 52 00:03:05,759 --> 00:03:08,149 So what the fuck didn't feel right? 53 00:03:10,959 --> 00:03:14,192 Well, while you're ruminating on your failings as a human being, 54 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,112 two eggs, sunny side up. 55 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:23,433 So, you'll do it, then. 56 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,830 I dunno. It's weird. 57 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:28,992 Statement, not a question. Cos I've already told my mum and dad 58 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,959 that I'm bringing my boyfriend to their anniversary party. 59 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,440 Oh, great. 60 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:35,239 - Oh, and you're a doctor. - What?! 61 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:36,640 Congratulations. 62 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:39,235 But I'm not a doctor. And even if I was, 63 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,472 I'd be a gay doctor, so that's even less use for you. 64 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,597 You're the only half-decent man I know. 65 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:48,230 So show up, slap a smile on your face and pretend you like me. 66 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,755 Why you so bothered about impressing your parents, anyway? 67 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:54,072 Because they think I'm a fuck-up. And I am a fuck-up. 68 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:57,153 But I'm don't want to provide them with any more ammunition. 69 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:03,280 Tell you what, that black goes in... 70 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:06,120 ...and you're on. 71 00:04:11,721 --> 00:04:13,235 You all right, mate? 72 00:04:20,841 --> 00:04:24,630 Look, I don't want to sound like a tit, but your angle's all wrong. 73 00:04:31,681 --> 00:04:32,797 Go on, then. 74 00:04:45,521 --> 00:04:47,114 That was actually pretty good. 75 00:04:47,201 --> 00:04:48,635 Nothing. 76 00:04:57,561 --> 00:04:59,234 What, that doesn't count! 77 00:04:59,321 --> 00:05:01,961 You said the black had to go in. 78 00:05:02,041 --> 00:05:03,521 You didn't say who by. 79 00:05:03,601 --> 00:05:05,719 Wear something straight. 80 00:05:18,802 --> 00:05:21,271 - Got any Tom Bakers? - What? 81 00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:24,002 Scarves. You know, like Tom Baker wore. 82 00:05:24,082 --> 00:05:26,597 Ladies' wear, third floor. 83 00:05:26,682 --> 00:05:27,877 Eh? 84 00:05:27,962 --> 00:05:30,193 It's the lowest form of wit, love. 85 00:05:30,282 --> 00:05:32,080 Never mind. 86 00:05:32,162 --> 00:05:35,360 Going to look like a real twat if I turn up without one. 87 00:05:35,442 --> 00:05:38,276 Bournemouth, three days. Doctor Who convention. 88 00:05:38,362 --> 00:05:40,797 There's going to be a real, live Cyberman there. 89 00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:43,602 - And I fucking love Cybermen. - 4.50. 90 00:05:43,682 --> 00:05:46,720 I hear Karen Maguire's coming out of prison today. 91 00:05:46,802 --> 00:05:48,680 - You sure? - Yeah. 92 00:05:48,762 --> 00:05:51,800 - And it was hospital, not prison. - No. Mimi definitely said prison. 93 00:05:53,842 --> 00:05:56,311 Ta. See ya. 94 00:05:56,402 --> 00:05:59,281 Yeah, live long and prosper. 95 00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:16,759 Are you OK? 96 00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:18,755 I've stayed in worse places. 97 00:06:20,483 --> 00:06:22,475 It's all right. 98 00:06:22,563 --> 00:06:25,761 You can give me a hug, I'm not going to break. 99 00:06:41,643 --> 00:06:44,442 (DOOR OPENS) 100 00:06:48,563 --> 00:06:50,873 Bit quiet in here, innit? 101 00:06:50,963 --> 00:06:54,559 People aren't willing to slap down cash for a quickie any more. 102 00:06:54,643 --> 00:06:57,113 Everyone just stays home and wanks. 103 00:06:57,204 --> 00:06:58,433 I thought when Lillian left me in charge, 104 00:06:58,524 --> 00:07:01,198 it'd be a chance to do things my way. 105 00:07:01,284 --> 00:07:04,163 But you can't have a knocking shop if nobody's knocking. 106 00:07:04,244 --> 00:07:05,314 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 107 00:07:12,324 --> 00:07:13,280 Um... 108 00:07:13,364 --> 00:07:16,038 Piss off, son. Come back when you're older. 109 00:07:16,124 --> 00:07:19,834 Whoa, whoa. Don't you fucking move. How old are ya? 110 00:07:19,924 --> 00:07:21,756 16. 111 00:07:21,844 --> 00:07:23,278 You got ID? 112 00:07:29,084 --> 00:07:30,404 Technically, he's legal. 113 00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:32,999 Yeah, but if he gets his rocks off in 'ere, 114 00:07:33,084 --> 00:07:36,873 then every bloody kid for miles is going to be coming through that door. 115 00:07:38,284 --> 00:07:40,276 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 116 00:07:40,364 --> 00:07:42,117 Park your arse. 117 00:07:52,165 --> 00:07:54,282 "She's young," I said. "They make mistakes. 118 00:07:54,365 --> 00:07:56,880 "That's what youth is all about. She'll learn." 119 00:07:56,965 --> 00:08:00,276 Main thing, she did her time like a good girl. 120 00:08:00,365 --> 00:08:02,880 Makes me feel proud. She's not half like me. 121 00:08:02,965 --> 00:08:04,115 (CLATTERING) 122 00:08:04,205 --> 00:08:05,400 I wasn't in jail. 123 00:08:06,645 --> 00:08:08,716 Best not talk about this now, eh, Karen? 124 00:08:08,805 --> 00:08:11,195 I was in hospital. A psychiatric hospital. 125 00:08:11,285 --> 00:08:12,924 Insanity plea. Works a charm. 126 00:08:13,005 --> 00:08:15,042 I've been diagnosed wi' being bipolar. 127 00:08:15,125 --> 00:08:18,038 It's an affective disorder in which the individual alternates between 128 00:08:18,125 --> 00:08:20,560 states of deep depression and extreme elation. 129 00:08:20,645 --> 00:08:23,160 And it is nothing to be ashamed of... 130 00:08:23,245 --> 00:08:25,476 despite what some people might think. 131 00:08:30,205 --> 00:08:33,004 You'll ruin the good name of this family. 132 00:08:33,085 --> 00:08:35,236 Have you actually looked at the family recently? 133 00:08:35,325 --> 00:08:37,635 Because if you really think the Maguires have got a good name, 134 00:08:37,725 --> 00:08:40,718 maybe it's you that needs to stay in a nuthouse. 135 00:08:45,805 --> 00:08:47,445 Cereal for dinner? 136 00:08:47,526 --> 00:08:49,961 Yeah, for any time of the day. 137 00:08:50,046 --> 00:08:51,526 Not breaking any laws. 138 00:08:54,086 --> 00:08:55,315 Going out? 139 00:08:55,406 --> 00:08:57,841 Yeah. Maxine's folks are having a party. 140 00:08:57,926 --> 00:09:00,122 Well, a bit of warning would have been nice. 141 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,118 I've not even had a shower or anything. 142 00:09:02,206 --> 00:09:03,640 It's a private party. 143 00:09:03,726 --> 00:09:05,479 - Oh. - It's not going to be fun. 144 00:09:05,566 --> 00:09:07,444 I've got to pretend to be her doctor boyfriend. 145 00:09:07,526 --> 00:09:11,122 Boyfriend?! But she does know that you're a... 146 00:09:11,206 --> 00:09:13,402 - Some kind of bird? - Shit-stabber. 147 00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:15,364 - Of course she does. You know that. - Ta-da! 148 00:09:15,446 --> 00:09:16,436 You scrub up OK. 149 00:09:16,526 --> 00:09:18,085 So do you. 150 00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,885 Yeah, for a poof! 151 00:09:19,966 --> 00:09:22,322 Well, I'm dead busy tonight, me. 152 00:09:22,406 --> 00:09:24,159 Oh, I've got loads of things to do. 153 00:09:24,246 --> 00:09:26,158 (TV ON) 154 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,125 Should we hold hands or something? 155 00:09:35,206 --> 00:09:36,686 I don't know. If you want. 156 00:09:36,766 --> 00:09:38,405 (MUSIC PLAYING) 157 00:09:38,486 --> 00:09:39,442 Hello? 158 00:09:39,526 --> 00:09:40,960 Is this not a bit over the top? 159 00:09:41,046 --> 00:09:42,162 Shut up. 160 00:09:44,327 --> 00:09:45,727 Hiya, Mum. 161 00:09:45,807 --> 00:09:48,163 Hiya, love. Aw. 162 00:09:48,247 --> 00:09:51,285 - Dad, this is, er, my boyfriend. - Hi. 163 00:09:51,367 --> 00:09:52,801 Dr Gallagher. 164 00:09:52,887 --> 00:09:54,321 Doctor? 165 00:09:54,407 --> 00:09:56,000 Oh! 166 00:09:56,087 --> 00:09:58,238 Can't be bad. Come in. 167 00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:04,401 (MAN SINGING KARAOKE) 168 00:10:04,487 --> 00:10:06,319 So, how come you ended up with our Max, then? 169 00:10:06,407 --> 00:10:08,524 We met at, um... 170 00:10:09,767 --> 00:10:11,281 ...a social function. 171 00:10:11,367 --> 00:10:13,598 It must be a bit frustrating, though? 172 00:10:14,807 --> 00:10:16,082 Well, no, not really. 173 00:10:16,167 --> 00:10:18,523 It's just you've obviously gone out and made something of yourself 174 00:10:18,607 --> 00:10:21,679 and now you've been lumbered with her. Take her brother, Bruce. 175 00:10:21,767 --> 00:10:25,158 He's directionless, yeah, but he's got drive. He's got gumption. 176 00:10:25,247 --> 00:10:26,681 I've got drive. 177 00:10:26,767 --> 00:10:29,566 Of course you have, sweetheart. Don't be so sensitive. 178 00:10:29,647 --> 00:10:33,277 She's just like her mother. You help yourself to beer, won't you, Ian? 179 00:10:33,367 --> 00:10:35,484 Don't. I'm fine. 180 00:10:35,567 --> 00:10:37,081 Cool fucking beans. On toast. 181 00:10:37,167 --> 00:10:40,047 Let's just get through this party without fucking up. 182 00:10:44,248 --> 00:10:46,922 Apparently, the sexual peak for a woman is in her 30s. 183 00:10:47,008 --> 00:10:49,159 That's, like, 60 in dog years. 184 00:10:49,248 --> 00:10:51,365 Micky, what you doing? 185 00:10:51,448 --> 00:10:52,768 Making conversation. 186 00:10:52,848 --> 00:10:54,441 No, what the fuck are you doing here? 187 00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:58,044 I'm looking out for you. Watching that Maxine. She fancies you. 188 00:10:58,128 --> 00:10:59,084 Don't talk shite. 189 00:10:59,168 --> 00:11:01,444 - It'll get messy. - Stop trying to run my life. 190 00:11:02,608 --> 00:11:04,964 Stay here, don't touch anything, don't talk to anyone. 191 00:11:05,048 --> 00:11:07,608 Maxine won't mind. Carl's here too. 192 00:11:11,728 --> 00:11:12,844 You shouldn't be here. 193 00:11:12,928 --> 00:11:14,044 It's a party. 194 00:11:14,128 --> 00:11:16,165 It's not that sort of party. You can't stay. 195 00:11:16,248 --> 00:11:20,322 I'm sure your boyfriend won't mind. Could have asked me, though. 196 00:11:20,408 --> 00:11:21,524 Have a bit of fun! 197 00:11:21,608 --> 00:11:24,680 Hey, Doc, are you going to have a go at that karaoke? 198 00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:28,887 Max sounds like a pig being punched when she starts belting them out. 199 00:11:28,968 --> 00:11:30,004 Cut it out. 200 00:11:30,088 --> 00:11:31,238 Cut what out? 201 00:11:31,328 --> 00:11:34,481 You're making Max feel bad. I know you probably don't mean to. 202 00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:38,643 I don't want to cause an argument, but you need to ease up on her. 203 00:11:38,729 --> 00:11:41,369 Give her a smile or a thumbs-up or something. 204 00:11:48,369 --> 00:11:50,088 CARL: What are we singing? 205 00:11:51,689 --> 00:11:54,045 I Got You Babe. 206 00:12:04,489 --> 00:12:05,718 MAN: Oh, my God. 207 00:12:11,969 --> 00:12:14,086 You've got to go home some time, kiddo. 208 00:12:14,169 --> 00:12:16,604 No. Not until they stop treating me like a slave. 209 00:12:17,689 --> 00:12:18,884 Unless I'm getting in the way. 210 00:12:18,969 --> 00:12:20,119 Course you're not. 211 00:12:22,449 --> 00:12:26,682 Right. Number 64, you're up. 212 00:12:26,769 --> 00:12:28,806 Thank you. 213 00:12:28,889 --> 00:12:31,200 Calm down. Deep breaths. 214 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,126 Have fun. 215 00:12:37,810 --> 00:12:41,121 After-school specials? You're a genius. 216 00:12:41,210 --> 00:12:44,521 Shame it's out of my pocket straight into Lillian's. 217 00:12:44,610 --> 00:12:46,488 No, you just need a bit of creative accounting, that's all. 218 00:12:46,570 --> 00:12:48,402 Nah. I couldn't do that. 219 00:12:48,490 --> 00:12:50,163 Hi! 220 00:12:50,250 --> 00:12:51,889 I've counted it, twice. 221 00:12:51,970 --> 00:12:54,804 There's your ticket, take a seat. 222 00:12:54,890 --> 00:12:56,210 Cheers. 223 00:12:57,450 --> 00:12:58,804 Then again... 224 00:13:01,010 --> 00:13:03,047 ...what she doesn't know, right? 225 00:13:28,051 --> 00:13:33,570 Jamie, it's like a thousand insects scrabbling away. 226 00:13:40,331 --> 00:13:42,846 Jamie, why won't it stop? 227 00:13:42,931 --> 00:13:47,210 Jamie, why won't it stop? Stop! 228 00:13:47,291 --> 00:13:48,611 Stop! 229 00:13:50,251 --> 00:13:53,164 (GASPS) Sorry. It's just... 230 00:13:53,251 --> 00:13:54,924 Oh, sorry. 231 00:13:55,011 --> 00:13:57,526 It's OK. I understand. 232 00:13:57,611 --> 00:13:59,967 It's not you, Karen. It's just... 233 00:14:00,051 --> 00:14:01,849 I'm tired, babes. 234 00:14:01,931 --> 00:14:04,127 It's all right. 235 00:14:13,611 --> 00:14:15,330 So, you really like our Max, eh? 236 00:14:15,411 --> 00:14:17,164 Yeah, she's great. 237 00:14:22,652 --> 00:14:23,608 You're a shit liar. 238 00:14:26,812 --> 00:14:28,212 Little gayboy. 239 00:14:33,092 --> 00:14:35,527 Cut it out, Bruce. 240 00:14:35,612 --> 00:14:36,568 It's OK. He knows. 241 00:14:36,652 --> 00:14:38,484 I tell my little brother everything. 242 00:14:38,572 --> 00:14:41,371 Fuck's sake. I thought you were going to punch me then. 243 00:14:41,452 --> 00:14:42,647 Yeah. With his penis. 244 00:14:42,732 --> 00:14:44,325 You're kidding. Are you...? 245 00:14:44,412 --> 00:14:47,849 - One of the gays? Yep. For me sins. - I'm one of them lot too. 246 00:14:47,932 --> 00:14:51,209 Max, you got any friends who don't park their car up Chocolate Lane? 247 00:14:51,292 --> 00:14:54,808 - I don't. - Yeah, that's a shame. 248 00:14:54,892 --> 00:14:57,851 Right, well, you boys can all crash in here, 249 00:14:57,932 --> 00:14:59,764 but don't expect any Caligula-style orgies. 250 00:14:59,852 --> 00:15:03,289 Smoking dope's one thing, but I don't think Pops would be too pleased 251 00:15:03,372 --> 00:15:05,443 if he found us all with us dicks hanging out. 252 00:15:05,532 --> 00:15:07,012 (ALL LAUGH) 253 00:15:07,092 --> 00:15:08,606 And cheers for sticking up for my sis. 254 00:15:08,692 --> 00:15:10,012 If you were shafting her, 255 00:15:10,092 --> 00:15:12,527 I'd definitely give you my seal of approval. 256 00:15:14,252 --> 00:15:16,449 MAXINE: I'll get some pillows and stuff, then. 257 00:15:17,733 --> 00:15:21,727 I was thinking... that I could stay in your room. 258 00:15:21,813 --> 00:15:24,282 I mean, give the lads a bit of space and all that. 259 00:15:24,373 --> 00:15:26,012 Yeah, it's just... 260 00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:28,528 Ian's my fake boyfriend, so... 261 00:15:28,613 --> 00:15:31,253 My dad, you know. Might be weird. 262 00:15:31,333 --> 00:15:32,289 Yeah, good point. 263 00:15:32,373 --> 00:15:36,003 Er, your singing... it were dead good. 264 00:15:36,093 --> 00:15:37,163 Like proper singing. 265 00:15:38,573 --> 00:15:40,053 Oh, cheers. 266 00:15:53,013 --> 00:15:55,289 - What...? - Shh. 267 00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:08,885 (EXHALES) 268 00:16:10,293 --> 00:16:14,174 MICKY: I'm looking out for you. Watching that Maxine. She fancies you. 269 00:16:16,014 --> 00:16:18,006 (KETTLE BOILING) 270 00:16:20,934 --> 00:16:23,085 (KETTLE CLICKS OFF) 271 00:16:35,414 --> 00:16:37,974 Cheers for last night. I do appreciate it. 272 00:16:38,054 --> 00:16:39,727 That's my mug. 273 00:16:39,814 --> 00:16:40,770 What? 274 00:16:40,854 --> 00:16:44,848 It says "Ian" on it. Ian. That's me. So, respect that, thank you. 275 00:16:50,254 --> 00:16:52,246 What's his problem? 276 00:16:53,374 --> 00:16:55,411 You've put the wind up him. 277 00:16:55,494 --> 00:16:56,484 Sorry? 278 00:16:56,574 --> 00:16:57,564 He knows. 279 00:16:57,654 --> 00:16:58,770 Knows what? 280 00:16:58,854 --> 00:16:59,810 That you fancy him. 281 00:17:01,534 --> 00:17:02,763 I don't. 282 00:17:02,854 --> 00:17:06,165 Whatever you thinks going to happen, it's not. Right? 283 00:17:06,254 --> 00:17:10,249 - I'm sorry, but it's not. - You need a fucking hobby, sunshine. 284 00:17:10,335 --> 00:17:11,849 Too much time on your hands. 285 00:17:30,575 --> 00:17:32,692 Friendly warning letter. 286 00:17:33,895 --> 00:17:35,966 Official warning letter. 287 00:17:37,255 --> 00:17:40,612 Red no-more-fucking-warning letters. 288 00:17:40,695 --> 00:17:42,607 Easy, Karen, easy. 289 00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:44,891 Come on, calm down. 290 00:17:44,975 --> 00:17:49,367 You think I'm doing this cos of my condition? Crazy fucking Karen? 291 00:17:49,455 --> 00:17:52,050 We are one bill away from being out on our arses. 292 00:17:52,135 --> 00:17:54,047 Hey, it's all under control. 293 00:17:54,135 --> 00:17:56,013 I'm dealing with these. 294 00:17:57,175 --> 00:17:59,053 You've got nothing to worry about. 295 00:17:59,135 --> 00:18:00,854 You promise me? 296 00:18:00,935 --> 00:18:02,085 Yeah. 297 00:18:02,175 --> 00:18:03,292 Course. 298 00:18:26,096 --> 00:18:27,450 Voilà. 299 00:18:27,536 --> 00:18:30,005 Tidy bit of artwork by yours fucking truly. 300 00:18:38,496 --> 00:18:40,249 Oi. What the fuck...? 301 00:18:52,136 --> 00:18:53,490 You all right? 302 00:18:53,576 --> 00:18:56,967 Don't speak, all right? Don't say a word. 303 00:19:08,577 --> 00:19:10,011 Ah, yeah. Ah. 304 00:19:12,297 --> 00:19:15,131 Oh! Mm! Ah! 305 00:19:17,217 --> 00:19:18,287 MICKY: Watching that Maxine. 306 00:19:18,377 --> 00:19:21,290 Because whatever you think's going to happen, it's not. 307 00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:22,606 She fancies ya. 308 00:19:22,697 --> 00:19:24,689 He knows that you fancy him. 309 00:19:31,057 --> 00:19:32,616 I've got to run. 310 00:19:32,697 --> 00:19:35,451 - Right, well, I'll see you later, yeah? - Yeah. 311 00:19:42,737 --> 00:19:44,649 (GROANS) 312 00:19:46,297 --> 00:19:48,368 Have you seen the scissors? 313 00:19:48,457 --> 00:19:49,811 (MICKY GASPS) 314 00:20:01,378 --> 00:20:02,607 Give us a kiss. 315 00:20:02,698 --> 00:20:03,654 Fuck off, Micky. 316 00:20:12,578 --> 00:20:14,809 (MUSIC PLAYING) 317 00:20:16,178 --> 00:20:19,933 It's back on. It's so back on. You should have seen her, all over me. 318 00:20:20,018 --> 00:20:22,738 All right, we get it, mate. You're great, you're fucking amazing. 319 00:20:26,458 --> 00:20:30,168 - Right, I'm off. - You're joking?! You can't go home. 320 00:20:30,258 --> 00:20:32,329 Are you not seeing what I'm seeing? 321 00:20:33,938 --> 00:20:35,497 They're all right, I suppose. 322 00:20:35,578 --> 00:20:38,298 All right? It's girls in school uniform. 323 00:20:38,378 --> 00:20:41,132 There's no way we are not going home with them. 324 00:20:45,618 --> 00:20:48,008 No, I can't. It wouldn't be right. 325 00:20:48,098 --> 00:20:50,250 No, it really would be. 326 00:20:50,339 --> 00:20:55,016 There's two of them and one of you, and they're all gagging for it. 327 00:20:55,099 --> 00:20:59,173 So stop being a tit and get over there. 328 00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:00,852 Happy birthday! 329 00:21:00,939 --> 00:21:03,249 See you later, mate. Take care. 330 00:21:06,659 --> 00:21:09,572 Ladies' toilets. Two minutes. 331 00:21:09,659 --> 00:21:10,775 You what? 332 00:21:10,859 --> 00:21:12,418 You heard. 333 00:21:20,459 --> 00:21:22,018 Do I know you? 334 00:21:22,099 --> 00:21:25,490 - No. - So what's this about, then? 335 00:21:25,579 --> 00:21:28,014 I just wanted to see what sort of person you are. 336 00:21:28,099 --> 00:21:31,376 Like, are you the sort of man who walks into the ladies 337 00:21:31,459 --> 00:21:33,849 just because a stranger told him to? 338 00:21:33,939 --> 00:21:35,009 And...? 339 00:22:06,820 --> 00:22:08,857 I was going to knock this time, honest. 340 00:22:10,580 --> 00:22:13,539 Oh, come on. It was sort of funny. 341 00:22:15,860 --> 00:22:18,773 Have you been eating twat sandwiches today or summat? 342 00:22:18,860 --> 00:22:20,294 Cos either I've done something wrong 343 00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:22,975 or you've turned into a total fanny overnight. 344 00:22:23,060 --> 00:22:24,653 (TV ON) 345 00:22:24,740 --> 00:22:27,574 Micky thinks you fancy me. 346 00:22:27,660 --> 00:22:31,336 And he keeps going on about it. It's messing with my head a bit. 347 00:22:31,420 --> 00:22:32,649 Sorry. 348 00:22:34,940 --> 00:22:37,171 I don't think you need to worry about that. 349 00:22:38,860 --> 00:22:41,854 Even if I did, it'd be pointless. 350 00:22:44,541 --> 00:22:46,737 So don't flatter yourself. 351 00:22:48,141 --> 00:22:49,575 (TV OFF) 352 00:22:49,661 --> 00:22:51,732 It's not just that. 353 00:22:51,821 --> 00:22:53,335 It's... 354 00:22:53,421 --> 00:22:55,492 I don't know. 355 00:22:57,941 --> 00:23:00,615 - What are you doing? - I don't know. 356 00:23:00,701 --> 00:23:03,170 Don't do that. Don't! 357 00:23:03,261 --> 00:23:06,698 - Sorry. - I know you're just trying to be nice, 358 00:23:06,781 --> 00:23:10,331 but I fucking hate nice and I don't need your sympathy. 359 00:23:10,421 --> 00:23:11,935 It's not sympathy. 360 00:23:12,021 --> 00:23:14,411 Ian, a few hours ago, you had your dick in Micky, 361 00:23:14,501 --> 00:23:16,174 so let's not pretend otherwise, eh? 362 00:23:16,261 --> 00:23:18,093 I did it because I thought it'd help. 363 00:23:19,341 --> 00:23:21,537 You don't have to justify it. 364 00:23:23,141 --> 00:23:25,497 That's what you do. 365 00:23:25,581 --> 00:23:27,015 Who you are. 366 00:23:29,901 --> 00:23:30,971 Sorry. 367 00:23:31,061 --> 00:23:32,893 (CHUCKLES) All right? 368 00:23:32,981 --> 00:23:34,415 Piss off. 369 00:23:36,542 --> 00:23:38,135 (TV ON) 370 00:23:46,822 --> 00:23:48,302 Stop, right? 371 00:23:52,102 --> 00:23:53,377 Stop. 372 00:24:02,542 --> 00:24:04,898 (GROANING) 373 00:24:04,982 --> 00:24:06,621 (GASPING) 374 00:24:13,942 --> 00:24:16,741 (BOTH GASP AND GROAN) 375 00:24:23,822 --> 00:24:27,418 (ORGASMIC GASPING) 376 00:24:41,943 --> 00:24:44,333 Please tell me you weren't watching me sleep. 377 00:24:44,423 --> 00:24:47,814 We're going to watch a movie. 378 00:24:47,903 --> 00:24:49,622 It's a bit early for porn, isn't it? 379 00:24:49,703 --> 00:24:51,854 It's not porn. It's art. 380 00:24:51,943 --> 00:24:53,536 Oh, really. What's it called? 381 00:24:53,623 --> 00:24:56,343 Handbugger Hill. Part Two. 382 00:24:59,463 --> 00:25:01,022 That is Richie Rockwood. 383 00:25:01,103 --> 00:25:04,813 Ten inches of pure hard steel. 384 00:25:04,903 --> 00:25:06,576 He won the Gay Adult Video Awards, 385 00:25:06,663 --> 00:25:09,735 Best Performer, three years in a row. 386 00:25:09,823 --> 00:25:11,496 He's gorgeous, isn't he? 387 00:25:11,583 --> 00:25:13,302 He's all right, I guess. 388 00:25:13,383 --> 00:25:17,093 No, he is not "all right". A cup of tea in the morning's "all right". 389 00:25:17,183 --> 00:25:18,742 Beans on toast is "all right". 390 00:25:18,823 --> 00:25:22,533 Richie Rockwood is fucking incredible, and I want you to admit that to me, 391 00:25:22,623 --> 00:25:25,263 right here, right now. 392 00:25:31,904 --> 00:25:33,543 You saw us. 393 00:25:33,624 --> 00:25:35,377 You're too fucking right I did. Ruined me dinner. 394 00:25:35,464 --> 00:25:38,377 It must be confusing for you. It's confusing for me too. 395 00:25:38,464 --> 00:25:40,660 Really fucking confusing. 396 00:25:40,744 --> 00:25:43,896 Hey, don't worry. 397 00:25:43,984 --> 00:25:46,021 We're going to sort you out. 398 00:25:46,104 --> 00:25:49,302 We'll de-straighten you. Everything'll be fine. 399 00:25:49,384 --> 00:25:51,694 - Ian, just watch the movie! - I don't want to watch the fucking movie! 400 00:25:51,784 --> 00:25:53,537 - Fine. We'll go to bed. - No! 401 00:25:53,624 --> 00:25:55,900 You didn't have a problem yesterday before she fucked with your head. 402 00:25:55,984 --> 00:25:57,418 She didn't fuck with my head. 403 00:25:57,504 --> 00:25:59,177 So I'm just a piece of meat to you, am I? 404 00:25:59,264 --> 00:26:01,256 A booty call. 405 00:26:01,344 --> 00:26:02,744 I'm sorry. 406 00:26:02,824 --> 00:26:07,057 I...shouldn't have dragged you into this. I shouldn't have slept with you. 407 00:26:07,144 --> 00:26:09,295 Yes, you should, Ian! 408 00:26:09,384 --> 00:26:11,455 Because I'm a fucking man! 409 00:26:11,544 --> 00:26:13,342 And that is fucking natural! 410 00:26:18,144 --> 00:26:19,544 I'm not handling knock-offs. 411 00:26:19,624 --> 00:26:21,422 They're not knock-off. They're 100% legit. 412 00:26:21,504 --> 00:26:22,825 Where did you get them from, then? 413 00:26:22,905 --> 00:26:24,305 I won 'em. 414 00:26:25,225 --> 00:26:26,739 In a raffle. Youth club. 415 00:26:26,825 --> 00:26:30,899 The youth club was raffling off Ladyshaves? 416 00:26:32,065 --> 00:26:33,181 50 quid. 417 00:26:33,265 --> 00:26:34,255 Done! 418 00:26:41,185 --> 00:26:44,064 Liam! Breakfast. 419 00:26:45,705 --> 00:26:48,140 Carl? Stella? 420 00:26:48,225 --> 00:26:49,659 Anyone? 421 00:26:49,745 --> 00:26:50,701 Hello? 422 00:26:54,585 --> 00:26:55,939 (CHEERING) 423 00:26:56,025 --> 00:26:57,744 All right, on you go. 424 00:26:57,825 --> 00:27:00,784 Don't forget your souvenir snaps, only two quid. 425 00:27:01,905 --> 00:27:06,502 Look, come home, son. This is no place for a young lad. 426 00:27:06,585 --> 00:27:07,905 Fuckin' 'ell. 427 00:27:07,985 --> 00:27:11,023 You only want me home cos you can't look after yourself. 428 00:27:11,105 --> 00:27:12,744 Well, yeah, obviously. 429 00:27:12,825 --> 00:27:16,819 But you're part of me, you're me flesh and blood. 430 00:27:16,905 --> 00:27:19,501 I'm like one of those amputees 431 00:27:19,586 --> 00:27:21,896 who just lost a limb and still thinks that it's there. 432 00:27:21,986 --> 00:27:23,136 20 quid. 433 00:27:23,226 --> 00:27:27,778 It's not about the cash, Liam, it's about family. 434 00:27:27,866 --> 00:27:29,425 20...quid. 435 00:27:29,506 --> 00:27:32,783 I could get a maid for that, a butler. Me own personal Jeeves. 436 00:27:32,866 --> 00:27:34,744 Then get one. 437 00:27:34,826 --> 00:27:36,180 Just... 438 00:27:37,266 --> 00:27:38,416 ...what? 439 00:27:38,506 --> 00:27:40,623 You what? Eh, eh? 440 00:27:40,706 --> 00:27:42,618 Fucking tried, didn't I? 441 00:27:42,706 --> 00:27:45,141 Me own fucking flesh and blood. 442 00:27:54,946 --> 00:27:57,905 I think you must have wandered into the wrong house, 443 00:27:57,986 --> 00:28:02,026 cos everybody knows Paddy Maguire wouldn't pay for it. 444 00:28:04,226 --> 00:28:07,105 I just thought, as two fellow entrepreneurs, 445 00:28:07,186 --> 00:28:09,940 we could have a little chat - a business opportunity. 446 00:28:10,026 --> 00:28:11,858 We're doing fine as we are. 447 00:28:11,946 --> 00:28:14,018 You haven't even heard my proposal. 448 00:28:14,107 --> 00:28:15,700 That's right. 449 00:28:15,787 --> 00:28:17,744 I haven't. 450 00:28:17,827 --> 00:28:19,022 Goodbye, Paddy. 451 00:28:23,507 --> 00:28:26,022 Try and control your woman, son... 452 00:28:29,307 --> 00:28:31,742 ...before someone else has to. 453 00:28:55,107 --> 00:28:57,622 (GASPING) 454 00:29:04,307 --> 00:29:07,141 Whatever your game is, I'm not interested. 455 00:29:07,227 --> 00:29:08,820 Jamie... It is Jamie, right? 456 00:29:08,907 --> 00:29:10,388 Sit down. 457 00:29:10,468 --> 00:29:15,224 Now, there's a woman in Manchester on a conference. 458 00:29:16,428 --> 00:29:20,422 Three months ago, she discovered that her husband had been having an affair 459 00:29:20,508 --> 00:29:22,147 for over two years. 460 00:29:22,228 --> 00:29:24,697 She's vulnerable, a little insecure, 461 00:29:24,788 --> 00:29:28,020 but, most importantly, she needs cheering up, 462 00:29:28,108 --> 00:29:32,182 and someone like you could really put the smile back on her face. 463 00:29:32,268 --> 00:29:33,907 You've got to be kidding, yeah? 464 00:29:33,988 --> 00:29:36,025 Er, I put 200 in your pocket. 465 00:29:36,108 --> 00:29:37,258 Missing 50 here. 466 00:29:38,308 --> 00:29:39,947 I had bills to pay. 467 00:29:40,028 --> 00:29:43,100 Times are hard. I get it. That's why I'm offering you work. 468 00:29:43,188 --> 00:29:45,657 I said I had bills. 469 00:29:45,748 --> 00:29:48,468 I didn't say I wanting to become a fucking man-whore. 470 00:29:48,548 --> 00:29:51,063 You still took 50 quid off me to pay some bills. 471 00:29:51,148 --> 00:29:52,582 But it won't be enough, will it? 472 00:29:52,668 --> 00:29:56,344 There's always another brown envelope waiting to land on the doormat. 473 00:29:56,428 --> 00:29:59,546 One hour's work, and you get this. 474 00:30:01,148 --> 00:30:03,026 No. I'm not interested. 475 00:30:03,108 --> 00:30:05,863 You are going to walk away from this? 476 00:30:05,949 --> 00:30:08,544 I've got a wife and a kid, so, yeah... 477 00:30:08,629 --> 00:30:09,949 I am. 478 00:30:17,669 --> 00:30:20,104 Think about it. 479 00:30:24,749 --> 00:30:25,705 Hey... 480 00:30:25,789 --> 00:30:29,703 I can guarantee you at least 200 quid a session, right? 481 00:30:29,789 --> 00:30:32,099 Well, that's three sessions a week, 482 00:30:32,189 --> 00:30:35,421 that's nearly two and a half grand a month, right. Tax-free. 483 00:30:35,509 --> 00:30:37,660 Yes, you have a wife and a kid, 484 00:30:37,749 --> 00:30:40,787 but that kind of money's got to make life a lot easier for everyone. 485 00:30:40,869 --> 00:30:44,260 If you want to know more, get in the car. 486 00:30:51,269 --> 00:30:54,341 It's through the back, gents. Game kicks off in five minutes. 487 00:30:54,429 --> 00:30:58,423 It's a 100 quid minimum and, time wasters, you know where the exit is. 488 00:31:07,950 --> 00:31:09,384 No. 489 00:31:09,470 --> 00:31:10,620 What? 490 00:31:10,710 --> 00:31:15,341 I can't do it, Joe. One thing I've learned is life has got to be simple. 491 00:31:15,430 --> 00:31:16,750 It is. 492 00:31:16,830 --> 00:31:20,028 You, me and the baby, we get in the car and we go. 493 00:31:20,110 --> 00:31:21,544 Right now. 494 00:31:21,630 --> 00:31:23,223 Heard you got tagged. 495 00:31:25,870 --> 00:31:28,988 That was a misunderstanding at the casino. 496 00:31:29,070 --> 00:31:31,141 It's a ten-minute detour to a mate. 497 00:31:31,230 --> 00:31:34,826 It's a blowtorch and wire cutters moment. It's not a reason to stay. 498 00:31:36,430 --> 00:31:38,899 Jamie can't look after ya. 499 00:31:38,990 --> 00:31:40,982 He can't provide for you, not like I can. 500 00:31:41,070 --> 00:31:42,026 He does his best. 501 00:31:42,110 --> 00:31:44,067 And it's never going to be good enough! 502 00:31:47,790 --> 00:31:49,429 I just came here... 503 00:31:49,510 --> 00:31:50,580 to say no. 504 00:31:52,510 --> 00:31:54,502 That was it. 505 00:32:02,391 --> 00:32:04,587 Really fuckin' smooth, Joe. 506 00:32:06,951 --> 00:32:08,783 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 507 00:32:11,911 --> 00:32:12,867 Carl! Hey. 508 00:32:12,951 --> 00:32:15,102 Shh! Come. 509 00:32:15,191 --> 00:32:16,386 Come on. 510 00:32:16,471 --> 00:32:17,427 Sit down. 511 00:32:19,151 --> 00:32:20,346 Close your eyes. 512 00:32:21,431 --> 00:32:22,581 Come on, close them. 513 00:32:26,871 --> 00:32:27,827 OK. 514 00:32:29,751 --> 00:32:30,707 What's this? 515 00:32:31,551 --> 00:32:33,668 Open it and see. 516 00:32:36,511 --> 00:32:38,184 Jesus! 517 00:32:38,271 --> 00:32:40,547 It's real. 518 00:32:41,511 --> 00:32:44,151 Carl... you haven't thought this through. 519 00:32:44,231 --> 00:32:46,063 I have. Really. 520 00:32:46,151 --> 00:32:50,703 Look, we've been stupid and we've made mistakes... 521 00:32:50,791 --> 00:32:52,385 but I'm certain about this, Max. 522 00:32:53,632 --> 00:32:56,670 I really am. You and me. 523 00:32:56,752 --> 00:33:00,587 Whoa! You've got terrible timing, you. I'm running late for work. 524 00:33:00,672 --> 00:33:01,901 Five minutes. 525 00:33:01,992 --> 00:33:04,905 I'm already on a warning. They're going to kill me. 526 00:33:04,992 --> 00:33:06,426 Last chance, they said. 527 00:33:10,432 --> 00:33:13,550 Go on, then. You better run. I'll come see you after. 528 00:33:13,632 --> 00:33:14,588 Yeah. 529 00:33:21,512 --> 00:33:23,424 - Guess what? - What? 530 00:33:23,512 --> 00:33:24,832 I'm getting married. 531 00:33:39,912 --> 00:33:41,232 (DOOR OPENS) 532 00:33:43,672 --> 00:33:44,628 Come in(!) 533 00:33:52,233 --> 00:33:53,986 Not going to give you much of a night out. 534 00:33:54,073 --> 00:33:55,029 What do you want? 535 00:33:55,113 --> 00:33:56,069 Assistance. 536 00:33:56,153 --> 00:33:58,065 And what makes you think I'll say yes? 537 00:33:58,153 --> 00:34:00,873 Because you want to be in full possession of your kneecaps. 538 00:34:02,153 --> 00:34:05,191 And I'll be forever in your debt. 539 00:34:06,473 --> 00:34:10,103 Who knows, maybe it'll mend a few bridges between me and your ma. 540 00:34:10,193 --> 00:34:13,186 Is this something like being made an offer you can't refuse? 541 00:34:13,273 --> 00:34:14,229 No. 542 00:34:14,313 --> 00:34:18,432 It's exactly like being made an offer you can't refuse. 543 00:34:22,153 --> 00:34:24,622 (MUSIC DROWNS SPEECH) 544 00:35:18,474 --> 00:35:20,067 Over a thousand quid in two days. 545 00:35:20,154 --> 00:35:22,305 God, if Lillian wasn't coming back tomorrow... 546 00:35:22,394 --> 00:35:23,589 I know. 547 00:35:23,674 --> 00:35:25,791 I mean, the best thing is, we did this. 548 00:35:27,354 --> 00:35:29,630 Thought they'd all buggered off home. 549 00:35:40,155 --> 00:35:41,748 What the fuck are you doing? 550 00:35:42,715 --> 00:35:44,274 Out! Everyone out! 551 00:35:47,155 --> 00:35:48,635 I'm sorry. 552 00:35:48,715 --> 00:35:51,230 Fuck being sorry. What the hell is wrong with you? 553 00:35:51,315 --> 00:35:52,874 It's only coke. 554 00:35:52,955 --> 00:35:55,550 Since when have you been a fucking coke dealer, Chesney? 555 00:35:58,675 --> 00:36:00,712 You're working for him. 556 00:36:05,435 --> 00:36:06,915 OK, you can piss off now. 557 00:36:08,275 --> 00:36:10,710 Uh-uh. We're keeping the coke a nd the money. 558 00:36:10,795 --> 00:36:11,911 He'll fucking kill me. 559 00:36:11,995 --> 00:36:13,714 I'll handle him. 560 00:36:13,795 --> 00:36:16,230 I didn't have a choice. 561 00:36:19,155 --> 00:36:22,387 - So she said yeah, then? - She's going to. I can tell. 562 00:36:22,475 --> 00:36:23,909 You see, I know Maxine. 563 00:36:23,995 --> 00:36:25,987 No, you don't. 564 00:36:26,075 --> 00:36:27,304 What do you mean? 565 00:36:28,595 --> 00:36:32,032 You don't know Maxine at all. You don't know anything. 566 00:36:34,396 --> 00:36:35,625 Ian's sleeping with her. 567 00:36:35,716 --> 00:36:37,469 What?! 568 00:36:37,556 --> 00:36:38,592 Shut up! 569 00:36:38,676 --> 00:36:40,030 I caught 'em. 570 00:36:40,116 --> 00:36:41,869 I'm sure you did. Ian and Maxine?! 571 00:36:41,956 --> 00:36:44,710 I came home, and they were fucking. They didn't see me. 572 00:36:44,796 --> 00:36:47,186 Look, Ian's gay...and you're insane. 573 00:36:47,276 --> 00:36:49,586 Think about it. 574 00:36:49,676 --> 00:36:51,395 All that time they spend together, 575 00:36:51,476 --> 00:36:53,945 laughing and joking. Best mates. 576 00:36:54,036 --> 00:36:56,267 More than best mates. 577 00:36:56,356 --> 00:36:58,393 You've seen it too. 578 00:36:58,476 --> 00:37:00,547 Micky... 579 00:37:00,636 --> 00:37:02,753 you're starting to piss me off now. 580 00:37:02,836 --> 00:37:07,991 Ask him, then. Ask him about it. Why would I lie to you, for fuck's sake? 581 00:37:08,076 --> 00:37:10,193 I'm trying to stop you making a fool of yourself! 582 00:37:10,276 --> 00:37:11,232 Fuck off! 583 00:37:11,316 --> 00:37:13,990 In his bed. I saw 'em. Fucking each other. 584 00:37:14,076 --> 00:37:16,796 Look, I'm telling you this to help you. 585 00:37:16,876 --> 00:37:18,629 Why are you trying to mess with me like this? 586 00:37:19,556 --> 00:37:21,707 Tell me it's a lie! Tell me! 587 00:37:21,796 --> 00:37:23,788 I can't! 588 00:37:23,876 --> 00:37:25,629 It's not! 589 00:37:25,716 --> 00:37:27,389 Ian and Maxine? 590 00:37:27,476 --> 00:37:29,115 My Maxine? 591 00:37:30,397 --> 00:37:32,389 No... 592 00:37:32,477 --> 00:37:35,914 That's not fucking... That's not fucking possible. She wouldn't. 593 00:37:37,517 --> 00:37:39,031 She wants to be with me. 594 00:37:39,117 --> 00:37:42,588 She got up and walked out on you the moment you pulled out that ring. 595 00:37:42,677 --> 00:37:44,077 Has she called you about it? 596 00:37:44,157 --> 00:37:45,477 Texted you? 597 00:37:45,557 --> 00:37:46,752 Anything? 598 00:37:46,837 --> 00:37:47,953 No. 599 00:37:48,037 --> 00:37:50,871 Because she's fucking your brother. 600 00:37:50,957 --> 00:37:51,913 Fuck you! 601 00:37:53,037 --> 00:37:54,266 That's not true! 602 00:37:55,837 --> 00:37:58,113 It's not fucking true! 603 00:38:18,997 --> 00:38:20,875 (ORGASMIC GASPING) 604 00:38:30,598 --> 00:38:32,954 Why the fuck did you tell Carl?! 605 00:38:37,398 --> 00:38:38,673 Because he loves her. 606 00:38:38,758 --> 00:38:41,273 No, no, he doesn't! He just thinks he does! 607 00:38:41,358 --> 00:38:43,429 - He proposed to her! - What? 608 00:38:43,518 --> 00:38:46,556 And he was going to ask you to be the best man. You! 609 00:38:46,638 --> 00:38:48,357 Oh, no, this can't be happening! 610 00:38:49,598 --> 00:38:52,557 Just explain to him that it was all an accident. 611 00:38:52,638 --> 00:38:56,234 How can I explain it to him when I don't even understand it myself? 612 00:38:56,318 --> 00:38:57,593 Well, the damage is done. 613 00:38:57,678 --> 00:39:00,147 So you better put a stop to the whole thing. It's for the best. 614 00:39:00,238 --> 00:39:01,194 No. 615 00:39:01,278 --> 00:39:03,235 But you can't like her. 616 00:39:04,398 --> 00:39:07,470 She doesn't... She doesn't even have a cock. 617 00:39:07,558 --> 00:39:09,117 Maybe I just like people. 618 00:39:09,198 --> 00:39:10,348 People with cocks. 619 00:39:10,438 --> 00:39:14,352 Or maybe I am confused and maybe me and Maxine are just mates... 620 00:39:14,438 --> 00:39:16,509 or maybe it's more than that. 621 00:39:16,598 --> 00:39:17,554 How can it be?! 622 00:39:17,638 --> 00:39:20,438 I don't know! I don't have all the fucking answers! 623 00:39:22,039 --> 00:39:23,473 I just know... 624 00:39:23,559 --> 00:39:26,791 that when I'm with her, I'm not thinking man or woman... 625 00:39:26,879 --> 00:39:28,996 it's just Maxine. 626 00:39:29,079 --> 00:39:31,639 Maybe sexuality isn't one thing or another. 627 00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:34,518 Maybe it's something that's just shifting and moving. 628 00:39:34,599 --> 00:39:35,555 Fuck you! 629 00:39:35,639 --> 00:39:36,629 What?! 630 00:39:38,999 --> 00:39:40,319 What? 631 00:39:41,559 --> 00:39:44,358 Fuck...you! 632 00:39:44,439 --> 00:39:46,749 I looked up to you. 633 00:39:46,839 --> 00:39:48,592 I thought you meant something. 634 00:39:50,079 --> 00:39:51,718 Because until I met you... 635 00:39:53,199 --> 00:39:55,031 ...I was a freak. 636 00:39:55,119 --> 00:39:57,190 I was disgusted with myself. 637 00:39:58,999 --> 00:40:02,709 But you showed me that I didn't have to be. 638 00:40:06,959 --> 00:40:08,871 You're a fucking traitor. 639 00:40:08,959 --> 00:40:11,110 It wasn't... 640 00:40:11,199 --> 00:40:13,555 it wasn't personal. I didn't mean to... 641 00:40:13,639 --> 00:40:15,871 But you did. And I loved you. 642 00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:21,512 And not in a "want to shag him all over the place" way. 643 00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,080 But just love! 644 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:27,194 Just proper fucking love! 645 00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:32,477 But now I see you for what you are. 646 00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:37,195 A cunt. 647 00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:52,319 (BABY WHIMPERS) 648 00:40:54,240 --> 00:40:56,880 I understand you have something that belongs to me. 649 00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:58,553 We're having our dinner here. 650 00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:01,678 Chips?! I've only had four of my five a day. 651 00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:05,392 Have a bloody banana, then. 652 00:41:11,921 --> 00:41:15,915 You had no right dealing at Lillian's... and to school kids! 653 00:41:16,001 --> 00:41:17,640 Free market. Supply and demand. 654 00:41:17,721 --> 00:41:20,190 Exactly the same as you were doing. 655 00:41:20,281 --> 00:41:24,480 No. I just wanted them to have fun, harmless fun, show them a good time. 656 00:41:24,561 --> 00:41:28,111 No, you wanted to make some easy cash. At least I wasn't lying to myself. 657 00:41:28,201 --> 00:41:30,921 You don't have any bloody bananas. 658 00:41:31,001 --> 00:41:33,470 Then have some milk or something! 659 00:41:33,561 --> 00:41:34,995 Milk? 660 00:41:36,721 --> 00:41:38,155 Jesus! 661 00:41:42,801 --> 00:41:45,873 Don't you dare act like you're better than me. 662 00:41:45,961 --> 00:41:49,033 You're the one who paid to fuck your own son's girlfriend. 663 00:41:49,121 --> 00:41:51,078 And you're the one who took the money. 664 00:41:51,161 --> 00:41:55,713 Now, I would like my property back, thank you. 665 00:42:09,082 --> 00:42:11,039 True what they say, dear. 666 00:42:11,122 --> 00:42:15,753 If you look in the abyss long enough, it'll stare right back at you. 667 00:42:24,122 --> 00:42:25,875 Don't ask. 668 00:42:25,962 --> 00:42:28,761 I'm having a bit of tough time of it at the moment. 669 00:42:28,842 --> 00:42:30,196 I haven't got any money. 670 00:42:30,282 --> 00:42:31,762 I don't want any money. 671 00:42:31,842 --> 00:42:33,515 I wouldn't ask you, anyway. 672 00:42:34,882 --> 00:42:36,157 Oh. 673 00:42:37,762 --> 00:42:39,435 I just... 674 00:42:39,522 --> 00:42:41,036 I dunno. 675 00:42:41,122 --> 00:42:43,557 Do you ever think you're one thing and then... 676 00:42:43,642 --> 00:42:47,556 you breathe in and maybe you're not? 677 00:42:47,642 --> 00:42:50,680 I went to Southend-on-Sea once. 678 00:42:50,762 --> 00:42:52,196 The sixth circle of Hell. 679 00:42:53,282 --> 00:42:56,673 And I stood on the beach, resisting the urge to do a Reggie Perrin, 680 00:42:56,762 --> 00:42:58,879 and there's this old fella, 681 00:42:58,962 --> 00:43:02,639 just eating custard creams. 682 00:43:02,723 --> 00:43:05,397 Just shoving them down his throat. 683 00:43:06,523 --> 00:43:10,199 And he looked...miserable... 684 00:43:10,283 --> 00:43:14,243 even though he'd probably bought 'em all for himself. 685 00:43:14,323 --> 00:43:17,316 He looked so fucking miserable. 686 00:43:18,363 --> 00:43:19,797 I'm not sure I follow. 687 00:43:19,883 --> 00:43:21,715 Me neither. 688 00:43:22,883 --> 00:43:25,603 It's all fucking bits and pieces, this life of ours. 689 00:43:27,203 --> 00:43:28,603 Hm. 690 00:43:30,403 --> 00:43:32,395 Could be worse. 691 00:43:32,483 --> 00:43:33,599 Could be a poof. 692 00:43:55,203 --> 00:43:57,081 (DOOR OPENS) 693 00:44:00,844 --> 00:44:03,996 So, Maxine, then... 694 00:44:11,004 --> 00:44:12,233 You fucking...! 695 00:44:28,284 --> 00:44:30,196 Ah! 696 00:44:30,284 --> 00:44:32,480 You fucking knew! 697 00:44:33,444 --> 00:44:34,639 Carl! 698 00:44:34,724 --> 00:44:37,876 - I'll kill him! - Stop it! He's your brother! 699 00:44:39,404 --> 00:44:41,714 He's fucking dead to me! 700 00:44:41,804 --> 00:44:46,595 Fucking hell. Fucking hell, you all right, son? 701 00:44:56,885 --> 00:44:59,161 Ian, I'm... 702 00:44:59,245 --> 00:45:02,124 - Don't say sorry. - But I am. 703 00:45:02,205 --> 00:45:03,719 I'm sorry. 704 00:45:05,765 --> 00:45:06,994 I'm not. 705 00:45:15,125 --> 00:45:18,402 MICKY: That's the thing about this world of ours. 706 00:45:18,485 --> 00:45:21,159 Even if we are twats, it just keeps on rolling. 707 00:45:22,645 --> 00:45:23,999 Wife walks out on ya. 708 00:45:24,965 --> 00:45:27,161 Father passes away. 709 00:45:27,245 --> 00:45:30,602 Cat gets run over by the number 10 bus. Doesn't matter. 710 00:45:30,685 --> 00:45:32,517 Oh! 711 00:45:32,605 --> 00:45:37,555 World's not going to stop, not even going to pause for breath. 712 00:45:37,645 --> 00:45:39,523 (MOBILE RINGS) 713 00:45:48,245 --> 00:45:50,397 I've got to pop out for a while. 714 00:45:50,486 --> 00:45:52,045 Sure. 715 00:45:54,246 --> 00:45:57,239 Nobody cares about your problems. 716 00:45:57,326 --> 00:46:00,160 But sometimes you find someone... 717 00:46:00,246 --> 00:46:02,522 someone who seems to understand, 718 00:46:02,606 --> 00:46:05,326 someone who gets you. 719 00:46:08,966 --> 00:46:11,435 And for a little while, it's better. 720 00:46:11,526 --> 00:46:14,883 We can lie there in the dark and promise never to leave each other. 721 00:46:14,966 --> 00:46:17,356 We have someone to hold on to. 722 00:46:22,646 --> 00:46:24,683 For a little while, anyway. 723 00:47:15,487 --> 00:47:16,603 (RAZOR HUMS) 724 00:47:19,487 --> 00:47:21,638 Oh, bastard! 725 00:47:24,887 --> 00:47:26,367 I'm not going to ask.