1
00:00:07,442 --> 00:00:09,661
ADULT SHELDON: Previously on
Young Sheldon...I love you.

2
00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:10,967
[crowd gasping]

3
00:00:12,751 --> 00:00:17,017
Veronica.
Hey, Georgie.
What's up?

4
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,322
We're friends, right?

5
00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:21,108
What do you mean?I've asked you out
a bunch,

6
00:00:21,151 --> 00:00:23,066
and you've made it pretty clear
you weren't interested.

7
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:25,721
B-Before I asked out
another girl,

8
00:00:25,764 --> 00:00:28,289
I just wanted
to make sure that...It's fine.

9
00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:30,813
Guess I'll see you around.

10
00:00:31,857 --> 00:00:33,120
Yep.

11
00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:38,516
["Wait" by R.E.M. playing]

12
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,170
♪ You better wait,
don't go away now, darling ♪

13
00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:42,085
♪ Wait...

14
00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,913
ADULT SHELDON:
Of all my many skills,

15
00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:46,785
one of the lesser known
is my impressive ability

16
00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:48,483
to wait for things.

17
00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:52,095
I once stood perfectly still
for 38 minutes

18
00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:54,097
because a bee
was on my shoulder.

19
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:56,491
[blows, groans]

20
00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:59,711
I once waited
four and a half hours

21
00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:01,452
to be released from a locker.

22
00:01:01,496 --> 00:01:03,976
SHELDON:
Hello? Anyone there?

23
00:01:04,020 --> 00:01:06,066
♪ You better wait,
don't go away now, darling... ♪

24
00:01:06,109 --> 00:01:08,024
That's okay. I'll wait.

25
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,809
ADULT SHELDON:
And one time, when Dr. Sturgis
was late for a lecture,

26
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I stayed longer than everyone.

27
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Where are you all going?

28
00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:16,424
Professor's not here.

29
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I can teach the class.

30
00:01:20,645 --> 00:01:23,126
I just need a
box to stand on.

31
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♪ You better wait.

32
00:01:26,216 --> 00:01:27,783
Dr. Sturgis?

33
00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:30,133
Hello, Sheldon.
What brings you here?

34
00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:32,004
You never showed up
to class.

35
00:01:32,048 --> 00:01:33,093
Whoops.

36
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:35,356
Time flies when
you're having fun.

37
00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:38,054
What could be more fun
than giving a physics lecture?

38
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Finishing a
physics paper.

39
00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:43,146
Ooh, I like
where this is headed.

40
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I'm exploring the notion
that time itself is quantized.

41
00:01:48,238 --> 00:01:49,674
Interesting.

42
00:01:49,718 --> 00:01:52,155
That sounds like a step towards
a unified field theory.

43
00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:53,504
Fingers crossed.

44
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Although I can't cross
my fingers-- arthritis.

45
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[laughs]

46
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It's too dark back here.
Do you have a flashlight?

47
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,303
In the glove
box, I think.

48
00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:10,956
Can you pass it back?

49
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,567
No. I'm driving.

50
00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:14,699
All right. I'm coming up.[seat belt clicks]

51
00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:17,180
Don't crash
while I'm unbuckled.

52
00:02:17,224 --> 00:02:19,269
Really? You need to do this
right now?

53
00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:22,185
It's Dr. Sturgis's
first paper in years.

54
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It's worth risking
head trauma.

55
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[grunts]

56
00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:27,103
Look at you climbing
like a real boy.

57
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,496
Here we go.

58
00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:31,760
"A Reconsideration of the Role
of Time Operators

59
00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:33,153
in Quantum Mechanics."

60
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Grabby title.

61
00:02:34,502 --> 00:02:35,981
Mm. I'll wait for the movie.

62
00:02:36,025 --> 00:02:38,636
Ooh. He's opening with
a critical examination

63
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,509
of the Copenhagen interpretation
of quantum mechanics.

64
00:02:41,552 --> 00:02:43,728
I thought reading in the car
made you nauseous.

65
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That's in the back seat.
Up here I'm fine.

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00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:50,170
[Sheldon retching]

67
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MEEMAW: Oh, Sheldon. SHELDON: Sorry.

68
00:02:52,868 --> 00:02:54,826
MEEMAW:
Well, don't just keep reading!

69
00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:57,046
[Sheldon retching]

70
00:02:57,089 --> 00:02:59,831
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

71
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain

72
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♪ I bet I could be your hero

73
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♪ I am a mighty little man

74
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♪ I am a mighty little man.♪

75
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[laughter over TV]

76
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I am running over

77
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:19,068
to the Sparks's
for a little while.

78
00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:20,722
Why?

79
00:03:20,765 --> 00:03:23,246
Team meeting with
the other baseball moms.

80
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:24,900
You're all right
until Dad gets home?

81
00:03:24,943 --> 00:03:27,381
Oh, yeah. Charles is in charge.

82
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:29,383
Look at this.
I'm talking to an egg.

83
00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:30,993
[laughter over TV]

84
00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:34,257
I brought veggies and ranch.

85
00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:37,652
That's nice. But when I
said "snacks," I mean wine.

86
00:03:37,695 --> 00:03:39,436
Oh.
Don't worry.

87
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,047
I got plenty of
emergency snacks.

88
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All right, let's
get to this.

89
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We're coming up on the
end of the season.

90
00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:48,402
Who wants to handle
the team cookout?

91
00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:49,577
Got it.

92
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:51,231
Thank you, Meredith.
Team picture day?

93
00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:53,233
That's me.Carla, you're a gem.

94
00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:55,931
Mary, that leaves you in charge
of trophies. Any questions?

95
00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:58,107
Actually...Snack time!

96
00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:01,937
There's also, uh, veggies.

97
00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:04,766
[mariachi music playing] JANA: This is nice.

98
00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:08,509
I like to think of Chi-Chi's
as a more romantic Taco Bell.

99
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:16,038
So, uh, what do you
like to get here?

100
00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:18,258
What? Oh, uh,
it-it doesn't matter.

101
00:04:18,301 --> 00:04:19,911
It all tastes the same.

102
00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:22,436
Hi. Welcome to...

103
00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:25,526
Oh. Hey, Georgie.

104
00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:26,396
Uh, hi.

105
00:04:27,832 --> 00:04:30,139
I didn't know you worked here.

106
00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:32,446
Well, haven't seen
you in a while.

107
00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:35,449
Oh, uh, you know Jana
from school?

108
00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:38,016
Yeah. Yeah, of course. Hi.

109
00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:39,322
Hi.

110
00:04:40,497 --> 00:04:43,283
So, can I get y'all
started with some drinks?

111
00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:45,763
I'm good with water.

112
00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:48,418
Water sounds great.
Refreshing.

113
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I'm glad Dr. Sturgis
let me read his paper

114
00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:53,075
before he published.

115
00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:54,424
Why is that?

116
00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:56,600
He's getting numbers
for the massive neutrinos

117
00:04:56,644 --> 00:04:59,342
that are in excess of
a hundred giga-electron volts.

118
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:00,822
Well, good for him.

119
00:05:00,865 --> 00:05:02,258
No, it's embarrassing.

120
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,781
Had a 50-50 shot.

121
00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:05,783
I guess I need to call
and let him know

122
00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:08,264
what a bonehead mistake
he made.

123
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,701
There's probably a
nicer way to say it.

124
00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:13,443
Did you hear how massive
his neutrinos were?

125
00:05:13,487 --> 00:05:15,706
We're well into
bonehead territory.

126
00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:17,665
Sheldon, you don't need
to be rude to him.

127
00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:18,970
When am I rude?

128
00:05:20,494 --> 00:05:22,931
Stay a child
as long as you can.

129
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:25,063
Adulthood will not
be kind to you.

130
00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:30,547
Neat. The veins on your calf
look like a road map of Texas.

131
00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:35,378
Did you make this taste bad
so Dad would lose weight?

132
00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:40,296
Fine. I'll be polite.

133
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,645
But I still think

134
00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:45,170
we could go to San Antonio
using Meemaw's leg.

135
00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:46,520
[phone rings]

136
00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:47,956
Hello?

137
00:05:47,999 --> 00:05:50,132
Dr. Sturgis. It's Sheldon.

138
00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:51,612
I hope you're well.

139
00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:53,570
I am. I just had soup.

140
00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:55,050
SHELDON:
Anyway,

141
00:05:55,093 --> 00:05:57,531
I was just calling to
let you know I read your paper.

142
00:05:57,574 --> 00:05:59,402
Wonderful.
What did you think?

143
00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:02,797
I thought your typing
was very tidy.

144
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,407
Your sentence structure
was impressive.

145
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,714
And your theory was...

146
00:06:06,757 --> 00:06:10,935
not without succeeding
in avoiding success.

147
00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:15,287
Well, Sheldon, uh, you don't
need to beat around the bush.

148
00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:18,813
We're men of science.
Uh, just give it to me straight.

149
00:06:18,856 --> 00:06:21,816
The masses for your neutrinos
are impossible.

150
00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:24,035
Are you sure?

151
00:06:24,079 --> 00:06:27,038
Yes. If they were that heavy,
atoms could not beta decay.

152
00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:29,824
I don't know how I missed that.

153
00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:31,303
I'm such an idiot.

154
00:06:31,347 --> 00:06:34,524
You're not an idiot.
You're just a bonehead.

155
00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,836
So you're saying you have
no feelings for her at all?

156
00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:44,012
I wasn't at the restaurant
with her, I was there with you.

157
00:06:44,055 --> 00:06:45,927
That doesn't answer my question!

158
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:48,190
I was hoping you wouldn't
pick up on that.

159
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:51,149
Did you take me there
on purpose?

160
00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:52,455
Hold on a second.

161
00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:53,848
Is this one of
those fights

162
00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:55,719
where we end up making
out in the back seat?

163
00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:56,938
No.

164
00:06:56,981 --> 00:06:59,201
That's too bad.

165
00:07:02,987 --> 00:07:04,119
[country music playing]

166
00:07:04,162 --> 00:07:05,120
[door opens, bell jingles]

167
00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:09,603
Howdy.

168
00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:12,693
Morning. I need to order
some baseball trophies.

169
00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:14,390
Baseball's over there.

170
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,566
[clears throat]

171
00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:20,918
So many choices.

172
00:07:20,962 --> 00:07:22,572
Mm-hmm.

173
00:07:22,616 --> 00:07:26,184
You should win a trophy
for the most trophies.

174
00:07:26,228 --> 00:07:28,796
Mm. [clears throat]

175
00:07:30,406 --> 00:07:32,843
[quietly]: Maybe not the trophy
for customer service.

176
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:35,498
Is this everything you have?

177
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:38,066
Impressive, isn't it?

178
00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:39,589
I noticed that there are
no baseball trophies

179
00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:41,025
with girls on them.

180
00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:42,505
Girls don't
play baseball.

181
00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:44,420
Actually, my
daughter does.

182
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,205
Oh. Good for her.

183
00:07:47,249 --> 00:07:51,209
And some of the girls might like
a trophy with a girl on it.

184
00:07:51,253 --> 00:07:53,429
Well, then they'll be
very disappointed.

185
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,649
You know what?

186
00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:57,912
I'm gonna take my
business elsewhere.

187
00:07:57,955 --> 00:07:59,609
Oh, no.[door opens, bell jingles]

188
00:07:59,653 --> 00:08:04,440
And you should win a trophy
for being such a sourpuss!

189
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:07,182
Ta-ta!

190
00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:08,662
[phone rings]

191
00:08:08,705 --> 00:08:10,402
Hello?SHELDON: Dr. Sturgis.

192
00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:13,057
It's Sheldon. I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.

193
00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:16,191
Nah, just wondering
what became of my career.

194
00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:17,192
Oh.

195
00:08:17,235 --> 00:08:18,715
Should I call you back later?

196
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:21,239
Oh, no. I can be downtrodden
and chat at the same time.

197
00:08:21,283 --> 00:08:22,458
What's up?

198
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:23,720
I was thinking about

199
00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:25,156
the mass problem
of your neutrinos,

200
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,115
and I realized
we might be able to solve it

201
00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:29,204
if some of the particles
have more spin.

202
00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:30,771
Interesting.

203
00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:32,163
That would certainly

204
00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:34,557
get our neutrino mass to zero.

205
00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:38,343
Although it does
open up a problem

206
00:08:38,387 --> 00:08:40,302
with double beta decay.

207
00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:42,565
Hmm. That is true.

208
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:45,133
Unless what it's
actually predicting

209
00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:46,874
is a magnetic monopole.

210
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:50,530
Might be difficult
to control the infinities.

211
00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:51,966
Although,

212
00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:55,186
if you consider adding
faster-than-light particles

213
00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:59,147
like tachyons,
then I suppose you could...

214
00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:01,628
Quantize time.STURGIS: Yes!

215
00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:04,848
Hang on! If we're gonna be
thinking at this level,

216
00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:07,068
I should put on pants!

217
00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:11,376
Can you believe this?

218
00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:13,335
Boy trophy,
boy trophy...

219
00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:14,641
boy trophy.

220
00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:17,469
Hmm, all I see
is my trophy wife.

221
00:09:17,513 --> 00:09:19,384
Nope? Okay.

222
00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:20,516
Look, the only
girl trophies

223
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,345
are for cheerleading,
soccer and golf.

224
00:09:23,388 --> 00:09:26,914
So buy Missy a golf trophy
and tell her it's a skinny bat.

225
00:09:26,957 --> 00:09:28,480
George.

226
00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:31,483
That poor girl has been
watching her brother win awards

227
00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:33,877
since he was
three years old.

228
00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:36,576
I'd like for her
first one to be special.

229
00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:39,274
'Cause you think
it may also be her last one?

230
00:09:39,317 --> 00:09:40,667
I didn't say that.

231
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:42,494
But you thought it.

232
00:09:42,538 --> 00:09:43,626
[sighs] Yeah.

233
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,367
Mm.

234
00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:47,021
[lively chatter]

235
00:09:48,065 --> 00:09:49,501
GEORGE JR.:
Hey.

236
00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:51,286
Here you go.

237
00:09:51,329 --> 00:09:54,115
What's this?It's your tip from
the other night.

238
00:09:54,158 --> 00:09:55,725
I wanted to give it to you then,

239
00:09:55,769 --> 00:09:58,510
but I also wanted
to get out of there alive.

240
00:09:58,554 --> 00:09:59,903
Don't worry about it.

241
00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:01,078
You sure?

242
00:10:01,122 --> 00:10:03,037
I'm sure.

243
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,648
So how long you been
working there?

244
00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:08,651
Couple weeks. Trying
to save money for college.

245
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:10,087
Well, now you have
to take this.

246
00:10:10,131 --> 00:10:11,349
I insist.
[laughs]

247
00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:13,961
Thank you.

248
00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:15,397
How are things with Jana?

249
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:18,269
Honestly, I have no idea.

250
00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:20,924
Should you even be
talking to me right now?

251
00:10:20,968 --> 00:10:22,273
Probably not.

252
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:23,710
[chuckles]

253
00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:26,408
But I'm glad I am.

254
00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:30,368
Me, too.

255
00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:34,024
Bye.

256
00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:39,813
STURGIS:
I'd like to end today's lecture
with a hilarious physics joke.

257
00:10:39,856 --> 00:10:44,426
Why didn't the photon
pack a suitcase?

258
00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:47,429
He was traveling light.

259
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:50,693
Sheldon.
Ha, ha.

260
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:52,477
Thank you.

261
00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:54,436
Class dismissed.

262
00:10:55,306 --> 00:10:58,962
Well, our conversation
about my paper

263
00:10:59,006 --> 00:11:02,966
resulted in a very
productive couple of days.

264
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:07,841
I completely rewrote the
whole thing from scratch.

265
00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:10,844
Exciting. I know credits are
usually listed alphabetically,

266
00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:14,064
but I'm completely fine
with my name going second.

267
00:11:14,108 --> 00:11:17,546
Sheldon, I've worked
on this paper for years.

268
00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:20,331
I'm not putting your name
on it at all.

269
00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:22,072
But I helped you.

270
00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:25,728
You did, but you didn't
cowrite the paper with me.

271
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:27,861
Is that so?

272
00:11:27,904 --> 00:11:29,427
Yes, it is.

273
00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:31,081
Well, this is an outrage.

274
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:32,474
After all the help
I've given you,

275
00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:33,736
and I don't even
get credit?

276
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:36,347
Well, of course you are.

277
00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:39,350
You're getting a special
thanks in the footnotes.

278
00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:40,830
No one reads the footnotes.

279
00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:42,745
I do.Well, I do, too,

280
00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:45,139
but that doesn't mean
I want to be in them.Sheldon,

281
00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:48,446
that's where people get
recognition for helping.

282
00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:50,361
Oh, you mean the help
of using my math

283
00:11:50,405 --> 00:11:52,407
to convert your hazy series
of meanderings

284
00:11:52,450 --> 00:11:54,322
into a well-formed
scientific thesis?

285
00:11:54,365 --> 00:11:57,325
I think you're overstating
your contribution.

286
00:11:57,368 --> 00:11:59,544
Well, I think you should be
wearing a black ski mask

287
00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:01,503
because you're trying
to rob me blind.

288
00:12:01,546 --> 00:12:05,376
Well, if anyone should be
wearing an odd piece of apparel,

289
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:08,031
it should be you
wearing a baby bonnet,

290
00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:10,294
because that's how
you're behaving.

291
00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:11,339
[gasps]

292
00:12:11,382 --> 00:12:13,558
Ready to go?
Very!

293
00:12:14,603 --> 00:12:15,822
It's a good thing she showed up,

294
00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:17,693
because I do not
have a comeback.

295
00:12:24,439 --> 00:12:26,049
Darn it. When he called me
a baby, I should've said,

296
00:12:26,093 --> 00:12:30,184
"Then I guess you needed a
baby's help to fix your paper."

297
00:12:30,227 --> 00:12:31,794
Very clever.

298
00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:33,013
Turn the car around.

299
00:12:33,056 --> 00:12:34,928
We're halfway home.

300
00:12:34,971 --> 00:12:36,581
It's not that clever.

301
00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:38,845
Why aren't you being
more supportive of me?

302
00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:42,196
Sheldon, John is a lot of
things, but he's not a thief.

303
00:12:42,239 --> 00:12:43,588
So you're on his side.

304
00:12:43,632 --> 00:12:44,807
I'm not.

305
00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:45,895
So you're on my side.

306
00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:48,855
For the sake
of this car ride, sure.

307
00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:51,945
Okay, here's the plan.

308
00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:54,251
End your relationship
with Coach Ballard,

309
00:12:54,295 --> 00:12:56,601
date Dr. Sturgis again,
get him to love you

310
00:12:56,645 --> 00:12:59,387
more than ever,
then when he least expects it,

311
00:12:59,430 --> 00:13:02,651
break his heart and say,
"That's for Sheldon."

312
00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:03,957
Great plan.

313
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,045
You think so?

314
00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:08,918
For the sake
of this car ride, sure.

315
00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:11,181
So shiny, aren't you, now?

316
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:12,400
[door opens, bell jingles]

317
00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:14,315
Hello. Remember me?

318
00:13:14,358 --> 00:13:17,927
Ah, I thought you were gonna
take your business elsewhere.

319
00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:20,930
Well, lucky for you,
I believe in second chances.

320
00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:22,802
[grumbles]

321
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:27,981
Now, I know that you don't have
girl baseball trophies in stock,

322
00:13:28,024 --> 00:13:30,157
but could you have one
made special?

323
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,419
Sure.

324
00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:33,725
Great.A custom mold

325
00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:36,903
is 50 bucks,
and it takes six weeks.

326
00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:39,688
I'm not paying you $50
for a trophy.

327
00:13:39,731 --> 00:13:41,385
And I don't have six weeks.

328
00:13:41,429 --> 00:13:43,910
Well, does your daughter
look like a horse?

329
00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:45,607
Maybe she'd like this.

330
00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:53,354
I knew all that God talk was
covering something really evil.

331
00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:59,186
I am trying to make
a special trophy for Missy.

332
00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:03,103
So I'm gonna take this head
and put it on that body.

333
00:14:03,146 --> 00:14:05,105
Whatever you say,
Dr. Frankenstein.

334
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:06,323
[sighs]

335
00:14:06,367 --> 00:14:08,412
My daughter deserves
to have a trophy

336
00:14:08,456 --> 00:14:10,284
that looks something like her.

337
00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:13,896
So this is kind of
a feminist gesture on your part.

338
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:16,856
I prefer to think of it
as a maternal gesture.

339
00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:18,466
Let's just split the difference

340
00:14:18,509 --> 00:14:20,511
and call it
the stuff of nightmares.

341
00:14:20,555 --> 00:14:22,905
It'll look better
when I paint it.

342
00:14:22,949 --> 00:14:24,994
I don't think so.
[chuckles softly]

343
00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:31,174
[phone rings]

344
00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:32,393
Grant Linkletter.

345
00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:33,916
SHELDON:
Dr. Linkletter, Sheldon Cooper.

346
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,484
I need your help reporting
an academic crime.

347
00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:37,572
Sounds serious.

348
00:14:37,615 --> 00:14:38,747
It is.

349
00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:40,183
That's why I'm using
my serious voice.

350
00:14:40,227 --> 00:14:41,881
Then I'll use mine as well.

351
00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:44,361
[deeper]:
What's going on?

352
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:45,928
Dr. Sturgis has stolen my work

353
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:47,930
and is using it
in his own paper.

354
00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,453
Well, that's quite
the allegation.

355
00:14:49,497 --> 00:14:52,065
It's not an allegation;
it's a fact.

356
00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:53,849
He was getting enormous masses
for his neutrinos,

357
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,503
and I showed him how to fix it,

358
00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:58,288
but now he's refusing
to list me as a coauthor.

359
00:14:58,332 --> 00:15:00,290
Well, I think he has a point.

360
00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:01,901
Is the "he" in that sentence me?

361
00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:04,164
Because that is a strange way
to phrase it.

362
00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:05,382
No, the "he" is him.

363
00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:07,254
I don't play games
with sentence structure.

364
00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:09,560
Look, I haven't done a forensic
examination of this paper,

365
00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:11,998
but it's not uncommon
to show your work to a colleague

366
00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:13,390
to get their feedback.

367
00:15:13,434 --> 00:15:15,175
But I fixed his paper.

368
00:15:15,218 --> 00:15:18,091
This kind of accusation
could have real consequences.

369
00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:20,658
I'd consider my next steps
very carefully.

370
00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:23,183
You're no help. Put me through
to your supervisor.

371
00:15:23,226 --> 00:15:24,314
Please let me speak to John

372
00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:26,099
before you take this
any further.

373
00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:29,493
All right, but if he calls me
a baby, feel free to say,

374
00:15:29,537 --> 00:15:32,279
"Then I guess you needed a baby
to fix your paper."

375
00:15:32,322 --> 00:15:36,022
That's a good one,
but I'm not gonna say it.

376
00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:41,114
I bet the guy who invented
the spork is a millionaire.

377
00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:42,289
I guess.

378
00:15:42,332 --> 00:15:44,291
I wonder if his last name
is Spork.

379
00:15:44,334 --> 00:15:47,990
It comes from "spoon"
and "fork." Spork.

380
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:50,993
Oh, my God. Mind is blown.

381
00:16:01,569 --> 00:16:03,527
You know what you should do?
Cut your hair.

382
00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:04,702
What?

383
00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:06,095
I think it'd look better.
[gasps]

384
00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:08,402
Ooh, maybe a little beard
like George Michael.

385
00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:11,361
I wonder how tall he is.
I bet he's tall.

386
00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:13,711
[video game music playing]

387
00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:20,022
Hey. I have something
to show you.

388
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:21,110
What's up?

389
00:16:21,154 --> 00:16:23,112
I was gonna give this to you

390
00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:25,114
at the end of the season party,

391
00:16:25,158 --> 00:16:29,031
but I was so excited
that I wanted you to see it now.

392
00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:30,206
Mm.

393
00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:33,775
What the hell is that?

394
00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:36,125
I couldn't find
any girl baseball trophies,

395
00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:37,866
so I made you one.

396
00:16:37,909 --> 00:16:39,172
Why is her head so big?

397
00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:42,001
It's a Barbie head.
I had to improvise.

398
00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:44,003
You chopped the head
off one of my Barbies?

399
00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:46,744
Don't be silly.
I bought a new one.

400
00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:48,224
I could've had a new Barbie?

401
00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:53,534
The point is you deserve
to be recognized appropriately

402
00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:55,623
for everything
you've accomplished.

403
00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:58,321
You can't give that to me
in front of all the boys.

404
00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:00,976
Why?
It's embarrassing.

405
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,109
Well, we have plenty of time.

406
00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:07,939
I can make the head smaller
or the body bigger

407
00:17:07,983 --> 00:17:10,116
or a little bit of both.

408
00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:12,466
I just want the same trophy
everyone else gets.

409
00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:15,034
But I want you to feel special.

410
00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:17,775
And I just want to feel regular.

411
00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:21,257
Okay. [sighs]

412
00:17:21,301 --> 00:17:24,086
Well...

413
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,784
I'll make sure you get
a regular one at the party.

414
00:17:26,828 --> 00:17:28,786
Thank you.

415
00:17:32,703 --> 00:17:33,965
Mom, wait.

416
00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:38,361
I get what you were
trying to do.

417
00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:42,017
It's nice.

418
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,802
Thanks.

419
00:17:44,846 --> 00:17:46,369
Can I keep that one, too?

420
00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:49,155
You really want it?

421
00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:51,505
I do.

422
00:17:57,946 --> 00:18:00,122
ADULT SHELDON:
Despite her many flaws,

423
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:02,733
my sister did have a soft spot
in her heart.

424
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:06,476
And a fondness
for blowing things up.

425
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:09,349
[Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture
playing]

426
00:18:18,662 --> 00:18:20,490
MARY:
What was that?!

427
00:18:28,411 --> 00:18:31,980
[phone rings]

428
00:18:32,023 --> 00:18:33,373
Hello?

429
00:18:33,416 --> 00:18:36,289
How dare you accuse me
of plagiarism?

430
00:18:36,332 --> 00:18:38,291
And to my colleague, no less.

431
00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:41,990
This is my reputation
you're jeopardizing.

432
00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:44,949
Well, give me the credit
I deserve and I'll stop.

433
00:18:44,993 --> 00:18:46,603
We've been over this.

434
00:18:46,647 --> 00:18:50,955
You made a helpful suggestion
and then you arrogantly assumed

435
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:53,784
that it entitled you
to a coauthor credit,

436
00:18:53,828 --> 00:18:55,569
which it doesn't.

437
00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:56,787
But I was the one who...

438
00:18:56,831 --> 00:18:58,180
I've been your friend

439
00:18:58,224 --> 00:18:59,355
and mentor.

440
00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:02,184
The idea that I would
steal from you

441
00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:06,841
is both personally
and professionally insulting.

442
00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:09,844
Well, I'm sorry
you feel that way, but...

443
00:19:09,887 --> 00:19:14,022
Sheldon, I don't want to see you
in my class anymore.

444
00:19:14,065 --> 00:19:18,418
[line clicks, dial tone humming]

445
00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:19,941
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
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