1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,799
SONG: ♪ I'm going up the country
Baby, don't you wanna go? ♪

2
00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:06,519
(WOMAN PANTS)

3
00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:10,840
♪ I'm going up the country
Baby, don't you wanna go?

4
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:14,919
♪ I'm going to some place
where I've never been... ♪

5
00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:15,920
(COUGHS)

6
00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:16,920
♪ Before... ♪

7
00:00:16,921 --> 00:00:17,960
(THUD!)

8
00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:27,800
Hey. Can you hear me?
(CELESTIAL MUSIC)

9
00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:32,080
Are you OK?

10
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:34,959
(SPRAY SQUIRTS)
(GASPS)

11
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:36,439
Ooh!
What the fuck?!

12
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:38,479
Who are you?!
Where am I?

13
00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:40,639
I said, who are you?
I'm Charlie...

14
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,919
Answer me!
Stop!

15
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,639
What are you doing?
Stop!

16
00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:45,839
(HISSING NOISE WITHOUT SPRAYING)

17
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:47,239
Wait, Fig!

18
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:50,519
Guy, I'm not gonna tell you how to do
your whole water torture thing,

19
00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:52,479
'cause who am I, a white man,

20
00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:56,159
to tell you, an empowered black man,
how to interrogate?

21
00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,839
But maybe we should let her answer.

22
00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:00,439
Shut your hole. She's my prisoner.

23
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,479
Prisoner?! What is this?

24
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,679
Some kind of... some kind
of snuff film?

25
00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:09,599
Some kind of weird
interracial snuff film?

26
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,120
It's not a snuff film.
You're not even tied up.

27
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,839
Actually, you're free to go.

28
00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:17,040
No, she's not!
Didn't you hear what I just said?

29
00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:19,519
(SPRAYS)
Hey! Hey! Stop it!

30
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:20,999
Alright, stop! Stop!

31
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,439
Argh!
(SHOUTS)

32
00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:25,679
Guy! Guy! Not the hair.
Guy, Guy, that's enough.

33
00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:27,640
(PANTS)

34
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:39,960
(BIRD CALLS)

35
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:50,039
Help me.

36
00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:53,759
Come here, bub. You're safe now.

37
00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,159
Where am I? How'd I get here?

38
00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:57,520
You don't remember?

39
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:03,279
CHARLIE: Hey! That's my car!
Those are my things!

40
00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:05,279
Those are my clothes!

41
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:07,479
Wait, where's my phone?

42
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:10,399
I need my phone. Where's my phone?
It's OK. Relax.

43
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:14,079
I'm Kelly
and this is my fiance, Lionel.

44
00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:15,239
Welcome to Eden 2.

45
00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:18,359
Eden 2? Are you a cult?

46
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:19,999
Hey, we're not a cult.

47
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,919
We're preppers.
Preppers?

48
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:24,519
We're a self-sufficient community
prepping for the end of the world.

49
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,000
Like Armageddon?
'Armageddon' ready for anything!

50
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,079
Get it?
You're serious.

51
00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:32,359
KELLY: Deadly serious.

52
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,719
Global wars, civil wars,
nuclear wars, race wars,

53
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:36,359
alien invasion, overpopulation,

54
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,759
bushfires, tidal waves,
climate change, supervolcanoes.

55
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,719
And don't forget, the four horsemen
ushering the apocalypse

56
00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:44,799
as the sun becomes black
like sackcloth

57
00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,879
and the moon becomes like blood

58
00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:49,679
and the stars of the sky fall
upon the earth.

59
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:52,479
It's a personal favourite. Hey?
You are a cult.

60
00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,359
This has happened before.

61
00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:55,719
The sun became sackcloth?

62
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:57,559
What? No.

63
00:02:57,560 --> 00:02:59,960
Not their gammon horsemen nonsense.
Hey.

64
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,679
But an apocalypse.

65
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:05,519
1788, when the First Fleet invaded.

66
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,559
End of the world.

67
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:10,279
CHARLIE: Hold on.

68
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,119
You seriously can't be prepared
for all those things?

69
00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:16,119
That's why we're called preppers
and not unprepareders.

70
00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:17,319
Ugh!

71
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:18,479
Duh.

72
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,720
Here, eat this. You'll feel better.

73
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,720
Mmm.

74
00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:32,119
Wait. I think I'm gonna be sick.

75
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,520
Where's the bathroom? Ugh!

76
00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,200
(THEME MUSIC)

77
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,480
(BIRDSONG)

78
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:53,960
Thomas?

79
00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:58,800
(GRUNTS)

80
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,440
You are enough.

81
00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:14,719
You are enough. You...

82
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,399
Oh, my God, you can't breathe.

83
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:20,119
VOICEMAIL: This is Thomas.
Leave a message at the...

84
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,479
(BEEP!)
Hi, Thomas. It's me again.

85
00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:25,479
WOMAN: Yeah, we just gotta get it
to the left.

86
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,919
MAN: Morning, Charlie.
That's it.

87
00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,600
Do you like the new poster?

88
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:32,520
Good morning.

89
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:38,119
Bianca Vita Extrait de Parfum.

90
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,359
(SNIFFS) Oh, I love this!

91
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,679
Yes, that's Sophie's.

92
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,879
You know how she is with her
Bianca Vita Extrait de Parfum.

93
00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:47,640
Mm. (CHUCKLES)

94
00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:52,679
Alright, people, back live in five.
CHARLIE: You are enough.

95
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,560
You are enough.
..four, three...

96
00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:01,799
Good morning. It's January 25.
And I'm Sophie McNamara.

97
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,879
And I'm Charlie Smallwood,
joining you this morning as we...

98
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:07,359
We wake up Australia.

99
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,200
(CHEESY MUSIC)

100
00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:12,560
(TOILET FLUSHES)

101
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:14,560
Ah!

102
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:18,839
(BEEP!)
'Agent of Truth'.

103
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:21,479
Podcast episode 197.

104
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:24,079
I'm your host, Kirby X.

105
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,479
What are you doing?

106
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,839
As usual, 'Agent of Truth' comes to
you from an undisclosed location...

107
00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:31,079
It's a portable toilet.
You can't prove that.

108
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,080
(TOILET FLUSHES)

109
00:05:32,081 --> 00:05:35,879
I'm joined by Eden 2's interloper,
Charlie Smallwood.

110
00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:37,439
I'm not Charlie Smallwood.

111
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,959
Yes, she is.

112
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,599
Charlie's a co-host
on 'Wake Up Australia',

113
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,759
where she brainwashes the masses
with corporate propaganda.

114
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:50,439
She's a catfish working for the
corporate capitalist necktie cult.

115
00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,839
'Agent of Truth' is brought to you
by 5G-BioShell.

116
00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:55,319
OK, I'm not Charlie Smallwood.

117
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:57,679
Charlie Francis Smallwood.

118
00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:00,959
DOB - 3 September 19...
You got that from my car!

119
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,559
Charlie's here to record
some kind of TV expose.

120
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,839
No, I'm not!
Then what are you doing on our land?

121
00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:08,719
I'm not on your land.
This is my land. Now, let me out!

122
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,319
Get yourself out.

123
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:11,799
Oh, let me out!

124
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:14,639
(BOTH ARGUE)

125
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,519
(BOTH WOMEN SCREAM)

126
00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:18,879
Alright, get off.
You're squishing me.

127
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,160
Alright, I kind of like it.
We don't get...

128
00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:27,679
(GROANS) Gosh.
We're out.

129
00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,999
Wow! That could've been
pretty disgusting.

130
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,479
Lucky I was walking by.

131
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,279
Not now, 'Pantene Pro-V'.

132
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:37,360
What do you mean
'your land', Smallwood?

133
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:42,279
I own this land and I do not give
any of you permission to be here.

134
00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:43,599
What about me?

135
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,519
Especially not you.

136
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,879
Well, if this is your land, how come
we've never seen you here before?

137
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,119
Because maybe you weren't
prepared for me.

138
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,119
Now, look, just tell me
who's managing this mission

139
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,520
and we could get this
all sorted out, OK?

140
00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,320
Thank you.

141
00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:11,719
Charlie.

142
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:14,039
I've been expecting you.

143
00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:18,279
A 10,000-year lease.

144
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:19,359
Yes.

145
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:23,039
But I'd be surprised
if we'll even need 10% of that

146
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:26,039
with the way the world's been going.

147
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,319
And you did this deal with my nan?

148
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:31,839
Was this before or after
she went into the old folks home?

149
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,159
Before, of course.
(BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY)

150
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,119
But she never mentioned you or Eden

151
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:40,039
or a legally binding
10,000-year lease

152
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:41,719
or prepping.

153
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:46,200
Here, Charlie, I've been asked
to read this to you aloud.

154
00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:50,279
"My dearest Charlie,

155
00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:55,399
"I always hoped you'd find your way
to Eden 2.

156
00:07:55,400 --> 00:08:00,359
"If you are hearing this letter
read aloud by Uncle Monty,

157
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,639
"then you've made it.

158
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:09,359
"As you know, survival as First
Nations people is our strength.

159
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:16,239
"So I hope you can join Monty
and the preppers of Eden 2

160
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:22,959
"in ensuring the continued survival
of Aboriginal people.

161
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,279
"Love, Nanna.

162
00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:29,879
"PS. Whatever you do,
don't tell your mum.

163
00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:31,959
"PPS.

164
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:36,919
"Seriously, do not tell your mum."

165
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:42,559
You're saying that my nan gave you
a 10,000-year legally binding lease

166
00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:46,319
for the continued survival
of Aboriginal people?

167
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:49,199
Yes.
Half of Eden 2 aren't even black.

168
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,679
Doomsday prepping isn't cheap.

169
00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:56,399
Besides, it makes it easier to decide
who gets eaten first.

170
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,239
(LAUGHS)

171
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:00,479
Doesn't seem legal.

172
00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,479
I could challenge you in court,
you know.

173
00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:03,960
Let me see that lease.

174
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:08,720
See for yourself, Charlie.

175
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,999
This isn't fair.

176
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,560
Fair as a blackfella's bum.

177
00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:20,519
My nan used to say that.

178
00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:22,440
I know.

179
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,559
Look, Monty,

180
00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:29,279
I didn't come here for this

181
00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:30,919
and I don't plan to stay.

182
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,959
I just want my land back.

183
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:36,759
Charlie, we're Aboriginal people.

184
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:39,519
We all want our land back.

185
00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:41,519
(DIDGERIDOO MUSIC)

186
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,439
RAP SONG:
♪ These beats got us outta control

187
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,399
♪ Dance around
like you never get old

188
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,439
♪ Breaking and popping
and my boys pop locking

189
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,519
♪ Got us feeling
like we outta this world

190
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:56,679
(SINGS IN ABORIGINAL LANGUAGE)

191
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,559
♪ Go hard, never lay back, lay back

192
00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:00,559
♪ Too real,
can't fake that, fake that

193
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:03,039
♪ Smile for the 'gram
like take that, take that... ♪

194
00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:04,919
(SCREAMS)

195
00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:06,800
Oh, my God!

196
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,920
Shit! Where is it?

197
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,800
Where is it?

198
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:17,840
I know you're there.

199
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:20,320
No, you don't.

200
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,639
Idiot.
Psst! What are you doin'?

201
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:28,399
I'm looking for my phone.
I can't leave without it.

202
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:31,600
Be careful, Charlie.
Why?

203
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,679
There's booby traps everywhere.

204
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,319
I lost a bear trap around here
sometime.

205
00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:43,359
Uh... Guy, is it?
Sup?

206
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:46,560
OK, Guy, do you have a phone?
I need to call myself.

207
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,440
Hey, don't be snooping
on my selfie game.

208
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:01,279
VOICEMAIL: "Hi, you've reached
Charlie Smallwood..."

209
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,319
Shit! I'm out of battery.

210
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:04,919
Dammit.

211
00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,439
Deadly, huh?

212
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,559
Not the bear trap.
Me. Like, I'm deadly.

213
00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:10,279
Deadlier than the bear trap.

214
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,799
Like, 'deadly' in, like... like,
OK, how blackfellas say 'deadly'.

215
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,319
Like, "Deadly!" Not, like, gammon.

216
00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:18,399
Like, 'deadly, ' like in, like,
Steven Seagal in 'Under Siege 2'.

217
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,799
You know, they got the sword
and, like, he's on the train

218
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:22,280
and he's like, "I'll kill you, man."

219
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:24,919
Yours are so perfect.

220
00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:27,199
KELLY: Sometimes I miss
three-ply toilet paper.

221
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,600
(CHUCKLES)

222
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:37,799
What are these?

223
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:40,119
They're REMs - ready-to-eat meals.

224
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:41,919
Monty got them for a bargain.

225
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:44,039
"Best before 1948."

226
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:48,359
Everyone, I have an exciting
announcement to make.

227
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:52,279
As per the wishes of Charlie's nan,

228
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:58,159
she will be joining us
in the Eden 2 prepping community.

229
00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:02,599
No, no, no, no, no, no. Monty...
(OTHERS COMPLAIN)

230
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:05,039
I just wanna get it, then leave.

231
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,319
One at a time!

232
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:11,039
Look, I'm not here to invalidate
anyone's right to be heard.

233
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:12,239
Shut up, Fig.

234
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:13,999
But I wanna welcome Charlie
to Eden 2.

235
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:18,039
Wrong! As chief of Eden 2 security,
we need to be wary of outsiders.

236
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:19,040
Yeah.

237
00:12:19,041 --> 00:12:20,919
Plus, we're only as strong
as our weakest link,

238
00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:22,199
and I'm already carrying Jayden.

239
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,839
Hey!

240
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,159
We don't know what
Smallwood's intentions are.

241
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,159
Look at her, all vajazzled.

242
00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:30,479
TikToking in her Twitter-tocracy.

243
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:33,439
She could be wearing a wire.
OK, I am not wearing a wire.

244
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:34,999
Then strip.
Yes!

245
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:38,879
ALL: Strip. Strip.
Strip. Strip. Strip.

246
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,159
Strip. Strip.
No.

247
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:45,439
Strip. Strip. Strip. Strip. Strip.
Strip. Strip. Strip. Strip. Strip.

248
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,119
No, no, no, no.
Strip. Strip. Strip.

249
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,520
Listen.

250
00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,759
You are very distracting.

251
00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:56,399
I have no intention of joining
your little community.

252
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,719
I'm just here to stay on my land

253
00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,479
till I can get my phone and find
an alternative place to stay.

254
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:06,479
Where's your family, Charlie?
Can't you stay with them?

255
00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:07,759
No. I tried.

256
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:09,159
What about your friends?
No.

257
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:10,719
Boyfriend? Husband?

258
00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:11,720
Girlfriend? Partner?

259
00:13:11,721 --> 00:13:13,919
Asexual? Polyamorous?

260
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:15,399
Perhaps she's polyandrist.

261
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,039
How many brother husbands
have you got, sis?

262
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:19,159
She seems too secretive
to be polyamorous.

263
00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:21,039
It's none of your business, OK?

264
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,959
Wow. Nobody loves you.

265
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,079
ALL: Ohhhhh!

266
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:27,999
Charlie...
So sad.

267
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,439
Sad? Sad?!
Hey!

268
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:34,279
That's a bit rich coming from you.
From all of you!

269
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,479
Hey, I know,
let's do a little experiment.

270
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,599
I love experiments!
Great.

271
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,159
Let's go around the table
and you can each tell me

272
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,199
how you think the world will end.
Ready?

273
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,559
Zombies.
Global warming.

274
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:46,319
BOTH: The Rapture.
Governmental overreach.

275
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,199
White people.
MONTY: All of the above.

276
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,679
And maybe even an 'astranoid'.
See?

277
00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:53,359
You can't even agree
on the most basic thing.

278
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:56,119
The difference is
I don't think aliens

279
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:58,079
or tsunamis or Jesus is coming.

280
00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:01,159
But if they did, I wouldn't wanna
spend the rest of my life

281
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:02,639
in a snuff film dungeon

282
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:06,919
eating gross turnips like a gross
mole person like the rest of you!

283
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:08,480
Hey!

284
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:15,119
CHARLIE: You are unique.
You are special.

285
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,680
You are, uh... enough.

286
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:23,439
You are... enough.

287
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:24,759
I'm not enough.

288
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,599
You are... not.

289
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,439
This is bullshit.

290
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:30,919
Sonofabitch, it's bullshit!

291
00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:33,999
This is bullshit! It's bullshit!

292
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,399
(SHOUTS)

293
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:36,959
Fucking bullshit!

294
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,400
(SERENE MUSIC PLAYS)

295
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:53,879
'Agent of Truth 197', continued.
(CHARLIE SHOUTS AND SCREAMS)

296
00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:57,279
Who can pinpoint the root cause
of Smallwood's fear?

297
00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:59,599
Is it trouble at the TV network?

298
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,359
Or fluoride in the water?
(SCREAMING)

299
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,359
Or perhaps she's finally discovered

300
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:07,959
that identity politics
is a construct of oppression,

301
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:14,119
invented by alien reptoids in order
to divide humans and conquer them?

302
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:16,639
All equally likely.

303
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,199
(PANTS)

304
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,359
(GAME BLEEPS)

305
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:23,199
Great show today, babe!

306
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,839
I've been calling you all day.

307
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:27,159
I've been busy.

308
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,359
Morning shows do not executive-
produce themselves, you know.

309
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,119
Well, speaking of the show.

310
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,359
I was thinking that tomorrow...

311
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:36,759
You mean Australia Day?

312
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:40,360
I was thinking I could do a piece
to camera about invasion.

313
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:46,240
Whoa, Charlie. Come on, invasion?

314
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,559
Hear me out -

315
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:52,559
an on-air editorial about
what Australia Day really means.

316
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,119
Since when have you been political?

317
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,519
Well, since I've been Aboriginal.

318
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,919
Isn't that enough?

319
00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:02,199
Like, being an Aboriginal person on
mainstream television is a statement.

320
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,839
"If you can see it, you can be it."
Who said that?

321
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,119
Me.
You.

322
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:09,399
And if you can hear it, you can
say it. I have to say something.

323
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,959
You're putting me in a really
awkward position here, Charlie.

324
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,839
What, as my fiance or as my boss?

325
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,039
Both, babe.

326
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:19,159
Four years I've turned up
and played along

327
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,839
because you convinced me I should.

328
00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:23,599
This year it changes.

329
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,399
I'm not doing
any Australia Day coverage

330
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,399
unless I can do my editorial.

331
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,759
It's either both or neither.

332
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,839
Fine. Don't do either.

333
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:34,919
Fine!

334
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,839
Wait. Charlie, stop. Don't go.

335
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:38,559
There's nothing left to talk about.

336
00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:41,759
We don't need to talk exactly.

337
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,159
Why don't you lock
that door behind you?

338
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:47,279
Because you are sexy
when you're angry.

339
00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:49,599
How about we have a quickie
like we used to?

340
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,479
Have a quickie
with yourself, Thomas.

341
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,799
What? Again?
(DOOR CLOSES)

342
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,999
LIONEL: A-one, two, three, four.

343
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,799
(SINGS) ♪ Don't you know
that the end's a comin'

344
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,879
♪ It's comin'

345
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,879
♪ But it all won't be doom and gloom

346
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,719
♪ No, no, no

347
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,159
♪ And even though
we're gonna end up dyin'

348
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:09,759
♪ End up dyin'

349
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:13,159
♪ Everyone we know will be dyin' too

350
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:14,519
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... ♪

351
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:15,839
Lawyers!
MEN: Dead!

352
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:16,840
Cops!
Dead!

353
00:17:16,841 --> 00:17:19,079
Freaky politicians!
Dead!

354
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,239
Whitefellas, migaloos, gubbas!
Dead!

355
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:22,559
Plumbers!
Dead!

356
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:23,719
Coffee guy!
Dead!

357
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,839
Everyone we know!
Dead!

358
00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:28,799
♪ Don't you know
that the end's a comin'

359
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,759
♪ It's comin'

360
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,679
♪ But it all won't be doom and gloom

361
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,079
♪ No, no, no, no

362
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:38,399
♪ And even though we'll end up dyin'

363
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:39,639
♪ Dyin'

364
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:42,879
♪ Everyone we know will be dying too

365
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:43,880
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah... ♪

366
00:17:43,881 --> 00:17:45,199
Lawyers!
Dead!

367
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,559
Cops!
Dead!

368
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,799
Freaky politicians!
Dead!

369
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:49,999
My TV show - dead!
Dead!

370
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,000
Ex-fiance!
Dead!

371
00:17:51,001 --> 00:17:52,399
Hippie mum - dead!

372
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,479
Coconut dad - dead!

373
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:57,080
My dad's stupid white family - dead!
(GUITAR PLAYING STOPS)

374
00:17:58,440 --> 00:17:59,919
That's a lot of baggage, sis.

375
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:03,519
♪ Why can't we all just get along? ♪

376
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:07,039
And now this moment - dead.
Thanks, Fig.

377
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:11,439
As we discussed, while you were
sobbing uncontrollably in your car,

378
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,079
we all came to a compromise.

379
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,279
We'll allow you to stay at Eden 2...

380
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:20,320
Only if you complete
the Eden 2 challenge course.

381
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:23,199
CHARLIE:
Wait, that wasn't there an hour ago.

382
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,599
There's just the one thing
I forgot to mention, Charlie.

383
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,519
In honour of your nan's wishes,

384
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:33,479
and to respect Fig
as our newest member,

385
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,519
it's either you or Fig.

386
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,960
I don't have to prove
anything to any of you.

387
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,799
I'm not doing it.

388
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,640
I am so honoured.
I won't let the tribe down.

389
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:47,239
MONTY: There you are. It's done.

390
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:50,959
Tomorrow you face your destiny.

391
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:52,439
Destiny.

392
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,759
Alright, everyone, to bed!

393
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:56,279
Goodnight.
'Night.

394
00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:57,999
CHARLIE: But it's only 8pm.

395
00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,679
Late, I know.

396
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,360
(SNORES)

397
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,199
(MOANS)

398
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:05,360
(GASPS)

399
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,919
Are you watching me sleep?

400
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,039
I'm just making sure you're OK, sis.

401
00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:14,279
I'm fine.

402
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:15,760
And I don't need a babysitter.

403
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:22,919
Uh, can I ask you
a question... Jayden?

404
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:23,920
Yeah, OK.

405
00:19:23,921 --> 00:19:25,439
You're not like everyone else here.

406
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:28,399
You know, you're not,
like, a total weirdo.

407
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:29,799
What are you doing?

408
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:33,319
The revolution is gonna happen
one day and we need solidarity.

409
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:36,439
It's called self-defence.
Self-defence?

410
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:40,559
Yeah. Colonise me once,
shame on you.

411
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,840
Colonise me twice, shame on me.

412
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:46,279
Yeah, whatever.

413
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:48,839
Just quit watching me sleep, OK?

414
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,160
OK.

415
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,959
(KELLY LAUGHS)

416
00:19:56,960 --> 00:20:00,279
(KELLY MOANS AND GROWLS)
(LIONEL SNORTS)

417
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:01,759
Hey! Excuse me?

418
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,799
Whoa. Nothing below the waist.

419
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,519
OK, swear to God. God, I swear, God.

420
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:06,919
What are you doing?

421
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,399
Saving ourselves for marriage.
No, not that.

422
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:14,040
Kelly and I, we have lived
very, very, very sinful lives.

423
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,439
Charlie, have you heard
the good word

424
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:19,439
of our Lord Saviour Jesus Christ?

425
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:20,759
That's not my thing.

426
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,559
It wasn't really our thing
until we hit rock bottom.

427
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:24,839
I was actually rock top.

428
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,079
We were each at our lowest ebb,

429
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:32,439
drenched in sweat
and bodily fluids and...

430
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,039
That's when Jesus came.

431
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:35,799
Hard.
Ohhh!

432
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,479
We knew we needed to change
our way of life,

433
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,719
so we chose to be reborn.

434
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,319
As virgins.
Mmm.

435
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,039
Waiting to relose our virginities
after marriage.

436
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:46,559
So that it can be special.
(LAUGHS)

437
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,439
Again. For the first time. Again.

438
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:50,799
And again.
And again.

439
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,959
And again.
So you two have never...

440
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,079
With each other?
No. No, no, no, no, no.

441
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,199
Huh!

442
00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,800
OK. Well, uh, good luck with that.

443
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:05,519
In the meantime,
please stop guarding me as I sleep.

444
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,439
I know what you're doing.

445
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,840
(KELLY AND LIONEL MUMBLE)

446
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,599
Hey!
(GASPS)

447
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:18,479
Sorry.
Oh, my God. OK, enough!

448
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:21,479
I'm an unfit millennial
with no core strength.

449
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,319
I'm not going to do anything.

450
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:26,839
Girl boss, I found your phone.

451
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,639
Wait, you did?
Yeah.

452
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,599
It took me a few hours... in the dark.

453
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,519
And I cut myself
and I think it's infected,

454
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:36,039
but I found your phone.

455
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,320
OK, I don't need to hear
your life story. Give me.

456
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,279
Great. The battery's dead.

457
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,479
You could've at least
charged it, Fig.

458
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:46,640
Sorry.

459
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,919
'Night.

460
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,400
This is so annoying.

461
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,600
OK.

462
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,960
(KEYS JANGLE, ENGINE STARTS)

463
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:04,080
(MULTIPLE BEEPS)

464
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:08,119
VOICEMAIL: Charlie. It's Thomas.

465
00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:11,239
Listen, you need to turn yourself
in to the police right now.

466
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:12,640
(GASPS)
They're gonna find...

467
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:15,560
(TURNS ENGINE OFF)

468
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:23,440
(BIRDSONG)

469
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,959
(FIG GRUNTS)

470
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:32,759
I knew she didn't have the guts.

471
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:36,479
If it's alright with you guys,
I still want to run the course.

472
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:37,999
I reckon I can beat Guy's record.

473
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:40,279
You think you've got
the big googalas, huh?

474
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,719
I think I've got normal testicles
but a positive attitude.

475
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:43,959
That's not enough.

476
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:45,080
Hey! Look!

477
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:48,560
What the fuck is she wearing?

478
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:55,479
(PANTS)

479
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:57,999
What are you all looking at?

480
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,999
You never seen a well-dressed,
depressed Aboriginal woman

481
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,559
who's come to prove herself

482
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,599
to a bunch of weirdos
she doesn't even respect

483
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,679
and run that rickety lawsuit
waiting to happen

484
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:10,039
just because she has
nowhere else to go?!

485
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,279
Yeah. Yeah.

486
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,679
Yeah!
Yeah.

487
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:16,159
OK.

488
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:17,719
Right.

489
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,279
Now, imagine this.

490
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,239
The world's ended.

491
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:27,999
You're surrounded by starving gubbas
who wanna eat your precious meats.

492
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:34,080
You need to run through the decaying
remains of white civilisation.

493
00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:37,519
Fig, you first. You ready?

494
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:38,879
So ready!

495
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,679
Go.
(BLOWS)

496
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:43,879
SONG: ♪ Let's fly

497
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:49,600
♪ I will see you on the other side

498
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:56,440
♪ I am your night, girl,
rip my heart out

499
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:03,360
♪ Darkness falling
Yet another night

500
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:09,920
♪ Come on, Lost Boys,
let's stay alive... ♪

501
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:14,719
Yo!
Oh!

502
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,519
A new world record!
Yeah!

503
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:19,160
Whatever! Time doesn't count.

504
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:22,439
Charlie, you're next.

505
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:25,439
You ready? Set. Go!

506
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,399
(SHOUTS)
(BLOWS)

507
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,119
Go, Charlie!

508
00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:32,120
(DETERMINED MUSIC)

509
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,319
Ohh!
(MUSIC STOPS)

510
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:39,800
Ugh! Fudge.

511
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:42,240
Ow.

512
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,560
OK, not doing that.

513
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,719
Screw you. You're dead!

514
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,399
(KOOKABURRAS LAUGH)

515
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:53,639
(GROANS)

516
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:54,999
(SEESAW CREAKS)

517
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:56,400
Fuck!

518
00:24:58,600 --> 00:24:59,680
OK.

519
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,079
OK.

520
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:04,080
Ow.

521
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:08,440
(GROANS) Yeah.

522
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:12,400
Over.

523
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,520
(STRAINS) Under.

524
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:19,800
(GRUNTS)

525
00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:23,319
(PANTS)

526
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:24,479
Oh!

527
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,160
Yeah.

528
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,719
Didn't... didn't think
I could make it, huh?

529
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,119
Fig, Charlie, give them a moment.

530
00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:34,319
(ALL WHISPER)

531
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:37,639
OK, given that you both
completed the course,

532
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,319
we have concluded... it's a tie.

533
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:42,639
And in the event of a tie,

534
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:45,360
we feel that we have the final say.

535
00:25:46,360 --> 00:25:49,399
We want Charlie to stay.
Yeah!

536
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,319
Wait, what?
Yeah. Wait, what?

537
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:54,800
Guys, I've tried so hard to fit in.
Yeah?

538
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:58,959
Please don't kick me out.
Look, I don't even need a bed.

539
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,880
I can just sleep on, you know, the
cold concrete floor of the bunker.

540
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:06,199
Lionel, you know you're my
number one favourite Aboriginal.

541
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:09,039
I'm not Aboriginal. I'm Sri Lankan.

542
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:11,999
Really? Does Kelly know?
Of course I know.

543
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,839
Jayden, mate, I am just like you.

544
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,119
I'm Irish!
We're the blacks of Europe!

545
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:19,999
No, you're white and I'm black. And
what you just said is problematic.

546
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,279
Listen, Fig,
if this was a zombie apocalypse

547
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,759
and you were bit,
you'd want a mercy kill, yeah?

548
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:26,999
Well, I'm gonna give it to you.

549
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,839
You're annoying and we hate you.

550
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:30,519
Is that true?
Yeah.

551
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,159
Mm-hm.

552
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:33,759
Alright.

553
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,840
(SAD MUSIC)

554
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:51,879
(THWACK!)
(FIG SCREAMS)

555
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:56,919
Ah, that's where my bear trap is!
Who's hungry?

556
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,039
Oh, yeah. I'm starving.
I am.

557
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,680
FIG: I'm OK. I'm OK.

558
00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:05,719
CHARLIE: I miss Nan.

559
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:07,879
Can't believe she kept
she was a prepper from me.

560
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:09,639
We all have our secrets.

561
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:12,800
We're all trying to survive
something, Charlie.

562
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:15,919
Why are you being so nice to me?

563
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:22,039
Well, Eden was built on the idea of
rebuilding from the ashes.

564
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,960
It's our motto. Patent pending.

565
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:28,999
Monty, I'm not like you.

566
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,439
Any of you.

567
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:33,480
I'm just staying here until...

568
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:36,880
..until I don't need to.

569
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:43,599
SONG: ♪ There's a new world
coming... ♪

570
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:44,600
(WOMAN LAUGHS)

571
00:27:44,601 --> 00:27:48,959
♪ And it's just around the bend

572
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:53,439
♪ There's a new world coming

573
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:57,879
♪ This one's coming to an end... ♪

574
00:27:57,880 --> 00:27:59,119
THOMAS: Charlie!

575
00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:00,559
Can we talk?

576
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:02,519
Yeah, sure.

577
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:06,639
Look, I should never have
put you in a position

578
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,799
where you felt like
you had to decide

579
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,119
between Australia Day
and your identity.

580
00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:14,599
So I just want to say
I'm... I'm sorry.

581
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:19,759
Oh! Oh, wow. Uh, thank you, Thomas.

582
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,439
I am so excited to do the editorial.

583
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:24,439
I've got all these ideas...
Oh, babe, no.

584
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,399
You... you can't do the editorial.

585
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,239
It's too... it's too divisive.

586
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:31,759
But Sophie's gonna be a good ally

587
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:33,959
and she'll just host
the whole show by herself.

588
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:35,839
So it's fine. It's fine.

589
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:37,319
What?

590
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:40,279
Actually, it was Sophie
who suggested

591
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,600
that I... I should apologise.

592
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,239
Bianca Vita Extrait de Parfum.

593
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:48,560
Hmm? What?

594
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:51,239
I said I'll do it.

595
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:52,879
You'll do what?

596
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:55,999
I'll do the Australia Day show.
No editorial at all.

597
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,639
You will? Really?
Yeah.

598
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:00,599
I mean, what could
possibly go wrong?

599
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:05,359
(LAUGHS) That's my girl. Yes!

600
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:09,439
♪ Yes, a new world's coming... ♪
(SCREAMING AND SHOUTING)

601
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:13,559
♪ The one we've had visions of... ♪

602
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:15,519
THOMAS: Charlie,
what have you done?!

603
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:17,799
Oh, babe. Someone call the police!

604
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:19,759
♪ Coming in love... ♪

605
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:21,599
Charlie!

606
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:22,959
Oh, my God! Everything's on fire!

607
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:24,199
♪ Coming in love

608
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,399
♪ A new world's coming

609
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:27,999
♪ Coming in love

610
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,719
♪ A new world's coming

611
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:32,279
♪ Coming in love

612
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:35,239
♪ A new world's coming

613
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:36,600
♪ Coming in love... ♪